Chapter LXXIII: Act III: Scene I.2507 (3)

_Sly._ I will not go so far with you; but I say, any man that hath
wit may censure,[2617] if he sit in the twelve-penny room;[2618] and
I say again, the play is bitter. 80

_Burbadge._ Sir, you are like a patron that, presenting a poor
scholar to a benefice, enjoins him not to rail against anything that
stands within compass of his patron’s folly. Why should not we enjoy
the ancient freedom of poesy? (85) Shall we protest to the ladies
that their painting makes them angels? or to my young gallant that
his expense in the brothel shall gain him reputation? No, sir, such
vices as stand not accountable to law should be cured as (90) men
heal tetters,[2619] by casting ink upon them. Would you be satisfied
in anything else, sir?

_Sly._ Ay, marry, would I: I would know how you came by this play?

_Condell._ Faith, sir, the book was lost; and (95) because ’t was
pity so good a play should be lost, we found it, and play it.

_Sly._ I wonder you would play it, another company having interest in
it.

_Condell._ Why not Malevole in folio with (100) us, as Jeronimo in
decimo-sexto with them?[2620] They taught us a name for our play; we
call it _One For Another_.

_Sly._ What are your additions?

_Burbadge._ Sooth, not greatly needful; only (105) as your salad to
your great feast, to entertain a little more time, and to abridge the
not-received custom of music in our theatre. I must leave you, sir.
_Exit._

_Sinklo._ Doth he play the Malcontent? 110

_Condell._ Yes, sir.

_Sinklo._ I durst lay four of mine ears the play is not so well acted
as it hath been.

_Condell._ O, no, sir, nothing _ad Parmenonis suem_.[2621] 115

_Lowin._ Have you lost your ears, sir, that you are so prodigal of
laying them?

_Sinklo._ Why did you ask that, friend?

_Lowin._ Marry, sir, because I have heard of a fellow would offer
to lay a hundred-pound (120) wager, that was not worth five
baubees:[2622] and in this kind you might venture four of your
elbows; yet God defend[2623] your coat should have so many!

_Sinklo._ Nay, truly, I am no great censurer;[2624] (125) and yet I
might have been one of the college of critics once. My cousin here
hath an excellent memory, indeed, sir.

_Sly._ Who? I? I’ll tell you a strange thing of myself; and I can
tell you, for one that (130) never studied the art of memory, ’t is
very strange too.

_Condell._ What’s that, sir?

_Sly._ Why, I’ll lay a hundred pound, I’ll walk but once down by the
Goldsmith’s (135) Row in Cheap, take notice of the signs, and tell
you them with a breath instantly.

_Lowin._ ’T is very strange.

_Sly._ They begin as the world did, with Adam and Eve. There’s in all
just five and fifty. (140) I do use to meditate much when I come to
plays too. What do you think might come into a man’s head now, seeing
all this company?

_Condell._ I know not, sir.

_Sly._ I have an excellent thought. If some (145) fifty of the
Grecians that were cramm’d in the horse’ belly had eaten garlic, do
you not think the Trojans might have smelt out their knavery?

_Condell._ Very likely.

_Sly._ By God, I would [they] had, for I (150) love Hector horribly.

_Sinklo._ O, but, coz, coz!
“Great Alexander, when he came to the tomb of Achilles,
Spake with a big loud voice, O thou thrice blessed and happy!”[2625]

_Sly._ Alexander was an ass to speak so well (155) of a filthy
cullion.[2626]

_Lowin._ Good sir, will you leave the stage? I’ll help you to a
private room.

_Sly._ Come, coz, let’s take some tobacco.— Have you never a
prologue? 160

_Lowin._ Not any, sir.

_Sly._ Let me see, I will make one extempore.
_Come to them, and fencing of a congee[2627] with arms and legs, be
round with them._
Gentlemen, I could wish for the women’s sakes you had all soft
cushions; and gentlewomen, I could wish that for the men’s sakes you
(165) had all more easy standings.
What would they wish more but the play now? and that they shall have
instantly. [_Exeunt._]]