Chapter LX: Act I: Scene I.2083

_Enter the_ LORD MAYOR _and the_ EARL OF LINCOLN.

_Linc._ My lord mayor, you have sundry times
Feasted myself and many courtiers more;
Seldom or never can we be so kind
To make requital of your courtesy.
But leaving this, I hear my cousin Lacy 5
Is much affected to[2084] your daughter Rose.

_L. Mayor._ True, my good lord, and she loves him so well
That I mislike her boldness in the chase.

_Linc._ Why, my lord mayor, think you it then a shame,
To join a Lacy with an Oateley’s name? 10

_L. Mayor._ Too mean is my poor girl for his high birth;
Poor citizens must not with courtiers wed,
Who will in silks and gay apparel spend
More in one year than I am worth, by far:
Therefore your honour need not doubt[2085] my girl. 15

_Linc._ Take heed, my lord, advise you what you do!
A verier unthrift lives not in the world,
Than is my cousin; for I ’ll tell you what:
’T is now almost a year since he requested
To travel countries for experience. 20
I furnisht him with coin, bills of exchange,
Letters of credit, men to wait on him,
Solicited my friends in Italy
Well to respect him. But, to see the end,
Scant had he journey’d through half Germany,
But all his coin was spent, his men cast off, 26
His bills embezzl’d,[2086] and my jolly coz,[2087]
Asham’d to show his bankrupt presence here,
Became a shoemaker in Wittenberg,
A goodly science for a gentleman 30
Of such descent! Now judge the rest by this:
Suppose your daughter have a thousand pound,
He did consume me more in one half year:
And make him heir to all the wealth you have
One twelvemonth’s rioting will waste it all. 35
Then seek, my lord, some honest citizen
To wed your daughter to.

_L. Mayor._ I thank your lordship.
[_Aside._] Well, fox, I understand your subtilty.—
As for your nephew, let your lordship’s eye
But watch his actions, and you need not fear,
For I have seen my daughter far enough. 41
And yet your cousin Rowland might do well,
Now he hath learn’d an occupation:
And yet I scorn to call him son-in-law.

_Linc._ Ay, but I have a better trade for him.
I thank his grace, he hath appointed him 45
Chief colonel of all those companies
Must’red in London and the shires about,
To serve his highness in those wars of France.
See where he comes!—
_Enter_ LOVELL, LACY, _and_ ASKEW.
Lovell, what news with you?

_Lovell._ My Lord of Lincoln, ’tis his highness’ will, 51
That presently[2088] your cousin ship for France
With all his powers; he would not for a million,
But they should land at Dieppe within four days.

_Linc._ Go certify his grace, it shall be done.
_Exit_ LOVELL.
Now, cousin Lacy, in what forwardness 56
Are all your companies?

_Lacy._ All well prepar’d.
The men of Hertfordshire lie at Mile-end,
Suffolk and Essex train in Tothill-fields,
The Londoners and those of Middlesex, 60
All gallantly prepar’d in Finsbury,
With frolic spirits long for their parting hour.

_L. Mayor._ They have their imprest,[2089] coats, and furniture;[2090]
And, if it please your cousin Lacy come
To the Guildhall, he shall receive his pay; 65
And twenty pounds besides my brethren
Will freely give him, to approve our loves
We bear unto my lord, your uncle here.

_Lacy._ I thank your honour.

_Linc._ Thanks, my good lord mayor. 69

_L. Mayor._ At the Guildhall we will expect your coming. _Exit._

_Linc._ To approve your loves to me? No subtilty
Nephew, that twenty pound he doth bestow
For joy to rid you from his daughter Rose.
But, cousins both, now here are none but friends,
I would not have you cast an amorous eye 75
Upon so mean a project as the love
Of a gay, wanton, painted citizen.
I know, this churl even in the height of scorn
Doth hate the mixture of his blood with thine.
I pray thee, do thou so! Remember, coz, 80
What honourable fortunes wait on thee.
Increase the king’s love, which so brightly shines,
And gilds thy hopes. I have no heir but thee,—
And yet not thee, if with a wayward spirit
Thou start from the true bias[2091] of my love. 85

_Lacy._ My lord, I will for honour, not desire
Of land or livings, or to be your heir,
So guide my actions in pursuit of France,
As shall add glory to the Lacies’ name.

_Linc._ Coz, for those words here ’s thirty Portuguese,[2092] 90
And, nephew Askew, there ’s a few for you.
Fair Honour, in her loftiest eminence,
Stays in France for you, till you fetch her thence.
Then, nephews, clap swift wings on your designs. 94
Begone, begone, make haste to the Guildhall;
There presently I ’ll meet you. Do not stay:
Where honour [beckons][2093] shame attends delay. _Exit._

_Askew._ How gladly would your uncle have you gone!

_Lacy._ True, coz, but I ’ll o’erreach his policies.
I have some serious business for three days, 100
Which nothing but my presence can dispatch.
You, therefore, cousin, with the companies,
Shall haste to Dover; there I ’ll meet with you:
Or, if I stay past my prefixed time, 104
Away for France; we ’ll meet in Normandy.
The twenty pounds my lord mayor gives to me
You shall receive, and these ten Portuguese,
Part of mine uncle’s thirty. Gentle coz,
Have care to our great charge; I know, your wisdom
Hath tried itself in higher consequence. 110

_Askew._ Coz, all myself am yours: yet have this care,
To lodge in London with all secrecy;
Our uncle Lincoln hath, besides his own,
Many a jealous eye, that in your face
Stares only to watch means for your disgrace.

_Lacy._ Stay, cousin, who be these? 116

_Enter_ SIMON EYRE, [MARGERY] _his wife,_ HODGE, FIRK, JANE, _and_ RALPH _with a piece_.[2094]

_Eyre._ Leave whining, leave whining! Away with this whimp’ring, this
puling, these blubb’ring tears, and these wet eyes! I ’ll get thy
husband discharg’d, I warrant thee, sweet Jane; go to! (121)

_Hodge._ Master, here be the captains.

_Eyre._ Peace, Hodge; husht, ye knave, husht!

_Firk._ Here be the cavaliers and the colonels, master. 125

_Eyre._ Peace, Firk; peace, my fine Firk! Stand by with your
pishery-pashery,[2095] away! I am a man of the best presence; I
’ll speak to them, an[2096] they were Popes.—Gentlemen, captains,
colonels, commanders! Brave men, (130) brave leaders, may it please
you to give me audience. I am Simon Eyre, the mad shoemaker of Tower
Street; this wench with the mealy mouth that will never tire, is my
wife, I can tell you; here ’s Hodge, my man and my foreman; (135)
here ’s Firk, my fine firking[2097] journeyman, and this is blubbered
Jane. All we come to be suitors for this honest Ralph. Keep him at
home, and as I am a true shoemaker and a gentleman of the gentle
craft, buy spurs yourself, and I ’ll (140) find ye boots these seven
years.

_Marg._ Seven years, husband?

_Eyre._ Peace, midriff,[2098] peace! I know what I do. Peace! 144

_Firk._ Truly, master cormorant,[2099] you shall do God good service
to let Ralph and his wife stay together. She ’s a young new-married
woman; if you take her husband away from her a-night, you undo her;
she may beg in the daytime; for he ’s as good a workman at a prick
and an awl as any is in our trade. 151

_Jane._ O let him stay, else I shall be undone.

_Firk._ Ay, truly, she shall be laid at one side like a pair of old
shoes else, and be occupied for no use. 155

_Lacy._ Truly, my friends it lies not in my power:
The Londoners are press’d,[2100] paid, and set forth
By the lord mayor; I cannot change a man.

_Hodge._ Why, then you were as good be a corporal as a colonel, if
you cannot discharge (160) one good fellow; and I tell you true, I
think you do more than you can answer, to press a man within a year
and a day of his marriage.

_Eyre._ Well said, melancholy Hodge; gramercy, my fine foreman. 165

_Marg._ Truly, gentlemen, it were ill done for such as you, to stand
so stiffly against a poor young wife, considering her case, she is
new-married; but let that pass. I pray, deal not roughly with her;
her husband is a young man, and but newly ent’red; but let that pass.
171

_Eyre._ Away with your pishery-pashery, your pols and your
edipols![2101] Peace, midriff; silence, Cicely Bumtrinket! Let your
head speak. 175

_Firk._ Yea, and the horns too, master.

_Eyre._ Too soon, my fine Firk, too soon! Peace, scoundrels! See
you this man? Captains, you will not release him? Well, let him go;
he ’s a proper shot; let him vanish! (180) Peace, Jane, dry up thy
tears, they ’ll make his powder dankish.[2102] Take him, brave men;
Hector of Troy was an hackney to him, Hercules and Termagant[2103]
scoundrels. Prince Arthur’s Round-table—by the Lord of
Ludgate—ne’er (185) fed such a tall,[2104] such a dapper swordman;
by the life of Pharaoh, a brave resolute swordman! Peace, Jane! I say
no more, mad knaves.

_Firk._ See, see, Hodge, how my master raves in commendation of
Ralph! 190

_Hodge._ Ralph, th’ art a gull,[2105] by this hand, an thou goest not.

_Askew._ I am glad, good Master Eyre, it is my hap
To meet so resolute a soldier.
Trust me, for your report and love to him, 195
A common slight regard shall not respect him.

_Lacy._ Is thy name Ralph?

_Ralph._ Yes, sir.

_Lacy._ Give me thine hand;
Thou shalt not want, as I am a gentleman.
Woman, be patient; God, no doubt, will send
Thy husband safe again; but he must go, 200
His country’s quarrel says it shall be so.

_Hodge._ Th’ art a gull, by my stirrup, if thou dost not go. I will
not have thee strike thy gimlet into these weak vessels; prick thine
enemies, Ralph. 205

_Enter_ DODGER.

_Dodger._ My lord, your uncle on the Tower-hill
Stays with the lord-mayor and the aldermen,
And doth request you, with all speed you may,
To hasten thither.

_Askew._ Cousin, let ’s go.

_Lacy._ Dodger, run you before, tell them we come,— 210
This Dodger is mine uncle’s parasite. _Exit_ DODGER.
The arrant’st varlet that e’er breath’d on earth;
He sets more discord in a noble house
By one day’s broaching of his pickthank tales,[2106]
Than can be salv’d[2107] again in twenty years, 215
And he, I fear, shall go with us to France,
To pry into our actions.

_Askew._ Therefore, coz,
It shall behove you to be circumspect.

_Lacy._ Fear not, good cousin.—Ralph, hie to your colours. [_Exit_
LACY _and_ ASKEW.]

_Ralph._ I must, because there’s no remedy;
But, gentle master and my loving dame, 221
As you have always been a friend to me,
So in mine absence think upon my wife.

_Jane._ Alas, my Ralph.

_Marg._ She cannot speak for weeping. 224

_Eyre._ Peace, you crack’d groats,[2108] you mustard tokens,[2109]
disquiet not the brave soldier. Go thy ways, Ralph!

_Jane._ Ay, ay, you bid him go; what shall I do
When he is gone?

_Firk._ Why, be doing with me or my fellow
Hodge; be not idle. 231

_Eyre._ Let me see thy hand, Jane. This fine hand, this white hand,
these pretty fingers must spin, must card, must work; work, you
bombast cotton-candle-quean; work for your living, (235) with a pox
to you.—Hold thee, Ralph, here ’s five sixpences for thee; fight for
the honour of the gentle craft, for the gentlemen shoemakers, the
courageous cordwainers, the flower of St. Martin’s, the mad knaves of
Bedlam, Fleet (240) Street, Tower Street and Whitechapel; crack me
the crowns of the French knaves; a pox on them, crack them; fight, by
the Lord of Ludgate; fight, my fine boy!

_Firk._ Here, Ralph, here ’s three two-pences; (245) two carry into
France, the third shall wash our souls at parting, for sorrow is dry.
For my sake, firk the _Basa mon cues_.

_Hodge._ Ralph. I am heavy at parting; but here ’s a shilling for
thee. God send[2110] thee to (250) cram thy slops[2111] with French
crowns, and thy enemies’ bellies with bullets.

_Ralph._ I thank you, master, and I thank you all.
Now, gentle wife, my loving lovely Jane,
Rich men, at parting, give their wives rich gifts, 255
Jewels and rings, to grace their lily hands.
Thou know’st our trade makes rings for women’s heels;
Here take this pair of shoes, cut out by Hodge,
Stitch’d by my fellow Firk, seam’d by myself,
Made up and pink’d[2112] with letters for thy name. 260
Wear them, my dear Jane, for thy husband’s sake,
And every morning when thou pull’st them on,
Remember me, and pray for my return.
Make much of them; for I have made them so
That I can know them from a thousand mo. 265

_Drum sounds. Enter the_ LORD MAYOR, _the_ EARL OF LINCOLN, LACY, ASKEW, DODGER, _and_ Soldiers. _They pass over the stage_; RALPH _falls in amongst them_; FIRK _and the rest cry_ “Farewell,” etc., _and so exeunt_.