Chapter XX: Act IV: ENTER Strobilus

_Strob._

Hoc est servi facinus frugi, facere quod ego persequor,
ne morae molestiaeque imperium erile habeat sibi.
nam qui ero ex sententia servire servos postulat,
in erum matura, in se sera condecet capessere. 590
sin dormitet, ita dormitet, servom sese ut cogitet.[13] (591)

(_self-complacently_) This is the way for a good servant
to act, the way I do: no thinking master’s orders are a
botheration and nuisance. I tell you what, if a servant
wants to give satisfaction, he’d just better make it a case
of master first and man second. Even if he should fall
asleep, he ought to do it with an eye on the fact that he’s
a servant.

erile[14] imperium ediscat, ut quod frons velit oculi sciant; (599)
quod iubeat citis quadrigis citius properet persequi. 600
qui ea curabit, abstinebit censione bubula,
nec sua opera rediget umquam in splendorem compedes.

He’s got to know his master’s inclinations like a book, so
that he can read his wishes in his face. And as for orders,
he must push ’em through faster than a fast four-in-hand. If
a chap minds all this, he won’t be paying taxes on rawhide,
or ever spend his time polishing a ball and chain with his
ankles.

nunc erus meus amat filiam huius Euclionis pauperis;
eam ero nunc renuntiatum est nuptum huic Megadoro dari.
is speculatum huc misit me, ut quae fierent fieret particeps.
nunc sine omni suspicione in ara hic adsidam sacra;
hinc ego et huc et illuc potero quid agant arbitrarier.

Now the fact is, master’s in love with the daughter of poor
old Euclio here; and he’s just got word she’s going to be
married to Megadorus there. So he’s sent me over to keep
my eyes peeled and report on operations. I’ll just settle
down alongside this sacred altar (_does so_) and no one’ll
suspect me. I can inspect proceedings at both houses from
here.

IV. 2.

Scene 2.

ENTER _Euclio_ WITHOUT SEEING _Strobilus._

_Eucl._

Tu modo cave quoiquam indicassis aurum meum esse istic, Fides:
non metuo ne quisquam inveniat, ita probe in latebris situmst.
edepol ne illic pulchram praedam agat, si quis illam invenerit 610
aulam onustam auri; verum id te quaeso ut prohibessis, Fides.

(_plaintively_) Only be sure you don’t let anyone know
my gold is there. Faith: no fear of anyone finding it, not
after the lovely way I tucked it in that dark nook,
(_pauses_) Oh my God, what a beautiful haul he would get,
if anyone should find it--a pot just crammed with gold! For
mercy’s sake, though, Faith, don’t let him!

nunc lavabo, ut rem divinam faciam, ne affinem morer
quin ubi accersat meam extemplo filiam ducat domum.
vide, Fides, etiam atque etiam nunc, salvam ut aulam abs te auferam:
tuae fide concredidi aurum, in tuo loco et fano est situm.

(_walks slowly toward house_) Now I’ll have a bath, so that
I may sacrifice and not hinder my prospective son-in-law
from marrying my girl the moment he claims her. (_looking
down street toward temple_) Take care now, Faith, do, do, do
take care I get my pot back from you safe. I’ve trusted my
gold to your good faith, laid it away in your grove and
shrine. [EXIT _Euclio_ INTO HOUSE.

_Strob._

Di immortales, quod ego hunc hominem facinus audivi loqui:
se aulam onustam auri abstrusisse hic intus in fano Fide.
cave tu illi fidelis, quaeso, potius fueris, quam mihi.
atque hic pater est, ut ego opinor, huius erus quam amat, virginis.

(_jumping up_) Ye immortal gods! What’s all this I heard the
fellow tell of! A pot just crammed with gold hidden in the
shrine of Faith here! For the love of heaven, Faith, don’t
be more faithful to him than to me. Yes, and he’s the father
of the girl that is master’s sweetheart, or I’m mistaken.

ibo hinc intro, perscrutabor fanum, si inveniam uspiam 620
aurum, dum his est occupatus. sed si repperero, o Fides,
mulsi congialem plenam faciam tibi fideliam.
id adeo tibi faciam; verum ego mihi bibam, ubi id fecero.

I’m going in there: I’ll search that shrine from top to
bottom and see if I can’t find the gold somewhere while he’s
busy here. But if I come across it--oh, Faith, I’ll pour you
out a five pint pot of wine and honey! There now! that’s
what I’ll do for you; and when I’ve done that for you, why,
I’ll drink it up for myself. [EXIT TO TEMPLE AT A RUN.

IV. 3.

Scene 3.

RE-ENTER _Euclio_ FROM HOUSE.

_Eucl._

Non temere est quod corvos cantat mihi nunc ab laeva manu;
semul radebat pedibus terram et voce croccibat sua:
continuo meum cor coepit artem facere ludicram
atque in pectus emicare. sed ego cesso currere?

(_excitedly_) It means something--that raven cawing on
my left just now! And all the time a-clawing the ground,
croaking away, croaking away! The minute I heard him my
heart began to dance a jig and jumped up into my throat.
But I must run, run! [EXIT TO TEMPLE.

IV. 4.

Scene 4.

A FEW MOMENTS ELAPSE. THEN THE SOUND OF A SCUFFLE DOWN THE
STREET. RE-ENTER _Euclio_ DRAGGING _Strobilus._

_Eucl._

I foras, lumbrice, qui sub terra erepsisti modo,
qui modo nusquam comparebas, nunc, cum compares, peris,
ego pol te, praestrigiator, miseris iam accipiam modis. 630

Come! out, you worm! crawling up from under-ground just now!
A minute ago you weren’t to be found anywhere, and
(_grimly_) now you’re found you’re finished! Oh-h-h-h,
you felon! I’m going to give it to you, this very instant!
(_beats him_)

_Strob._

Quae te mala crux agitat? quid tibi mecum est commerci, senex?
quid me adflictas? quid me raptas? qua me causa verberas?

What the devil’s got into you? What business have you got
with me, old fellow? What are you pounding me for? What are
you jerking me along for? What do you mean by battering me?

_Eucl._

Verberabilissime, etiam rogitas, non fur, sed trifur?

(_still pummelling him_) Mean, eh? You batterissimo. You’re
not a thief: you’re three thieves.

_Strob._

Quid tibi surrupui?

What did I steal from you?

_Eucl._

Redde huc sis.

(_threateningly_) You kindly give it back.

_Strob._

Quid tibi vis reddam?

Back? What back?

_Eucl._

Rogas?

A nice question!

_Strob._

Nil equidem tibi abstuli.

I didn’t take a thing from you, honestly.

_Eucl._

At illud quod tibi abstuleras cedo.
ecquid agis?

Well, what you took dishonestly, then! Hand it over! Come,
come, will you!

_Strob._

Quid agam?

Come, come, what?

_Eucl._

Auferre non potes.

You shan’t get away with it.

_Strob._

Quid vis tibi?

What is it you want?

_Eucl._

Pone.

Down with it!

_Strob._

Id quidem pol te datare credo consuetum, senex.

Down with it, eh! Looks as if you’d downed too much of it
yourself already, old boy.

_Eucl._

Pone hoc sis, aufer cavillam, non ego nunc nugas ago.

Down with it, I tell you! None of your repartee! I’m not in
the humour for trifling now.

_Strob._

Quid ego ponam? quin tu eloquere quidquid est suo nomine.
non hercle equidem quicquam sumpsi nec tetigi.

Down with what? Come along, speak out and give it its name,
whatever it is. Hang it all, I never took a thing nor
touched a thing, and that’s flat.

_Eucl._

Ostende huc manus. 640

Show me your hands.

_Strob._

Em tibi, ostendi, eccas.

(_stretching them out_) All right--there they are: have a
look.

_Eucl._

Video. age ostende etiam tertiam.

(_dryly_) I see. Come now, the third one: out with it.

_Strob._

Laruae hunc atque intemperiae insaniaeque agitant senem
facisne iniuriam mihi?

(_aside_) He’s got ’em! The old chap’s mad, stark, staring
mad! (_to Euclio, virtuously_) Now aren’t you doing me an
injury?

_Eucl._

Fateor, quia non pendes, maximam
atque id quoque iam fiet, nisi fatere.

I am, a hideous injury--in not hanging you. And I’ll soon do
that, too, if you don’t confess.

_Strob._

Quid fatear tibi?

Confess what?

_Eucl._

Quid abstulisti hinc?

What did you carry off from here? (_pointing toward temple_)

_Strob._

Di me perdant, si ego tui quicquam abstuli
nive adeo abstulisse vellem.

(_solemnly_) May I be damned, if I carried off a thing
of yours. (_aside_) Likewise if I didn’t want to.

_Eucl._

Agedum, excutedum pallium.

Come on, shake out your cloak.

_Strob._

Tuo arbitratu.

(_doing so_) Anything you say.

_Eucl._

Ne inter tunicas habeas.

Um! probably under your tunic.

_Strob._

Tempta qua lubet.

(_cheerfully_) Feel anywhere you please.

_Eucl._

Vah, scelestus quam benigne: ut ne abstulisse intellegam.
novi sycophantias. age rusum ostende huc manum
dexteram.

Ugh! you rascal! How obliging you are! That I may think you
didn’t take it! I’m up to your dodges. (_searches him_) Once
more now--out with your hand, the right one.

_Strob._

Em.

(_obeying_) There you are.

_Eucl._

Nunc laevam ostende.

Now the left one.

_Strob._

Quin equidem ambas profero. 650

(_obeying_) Why, certainly: here’s the both of ’em.

_Eucl._

Iam scrutari mitto. redde huc.

Enough of this searching. Now give it here.

_Strob._

Quid reddam?

What?

_Eucl._

A, nugas agis,
certe habes.

Oh-h! Bosh! You must have it!

_Strob._

Habeo ego? quid habeo?

I have it? Have what?

_Eucl._

Non dico, audire expetis.
id meum, quidquid habes, redde.

I won’t say: you’re too anxious to know. Anything of mine
you’ve got, hand it over.

_Strob._

Insanis: perscrutatus es
tuo arbitratu, neque tui me quicquam invenisti penes.

Crazy! You went all through me as much as you liked without
finding a solitary thing of yours on me.

_Eucl._

Mane, mane. quis illic est? quis hic intus alter erat tecum simul?
perii hercle: ille nunc intus turbat, hunc si amitto hic abierit.
postremo hunc iam perscrutavi, his nihil habet. abi quo lubet.

(_excitedly_) Wait, wait! (_turns toward temple and
listens_) Who’s in there? Who was that other fellow in
there along with you? (_aside_) My Lord! this is awful,
awful! There’s another one at work in there all this time.
And if I let go of this one, he’ll skip off. (_pauses_)
But then I’ve searched him already: he hasn’t anything.
(_aloud_) Off with you, anywhere! (_releases him with a
final cuff_)

_Strob._

Iuppiter te dique perdant.

(_from a safe distance_) You be everlastingly damned!

_Eucl._

Haud male egit gratias.
ibo intro atque illi socienno tuo iam interstringam gulam.
fugin hinc ab oculis? abin an non.

(_aside, dryly_) Nice way he has of showing his gratitude.
(_aloud, sternly_) I’ll go in there, and that accomplice of
yours--I’ll strangle him on the spot. Are you going to
vanish? Are you going to get out, or not? (_advances_)

_Strob._

Abeo.

(_retreating_) I am, I am!

_Eud._

Cave sis[15] te videam. 660

And kindly see I don’t set eyes on you again.
[EXIT _Euclio_ TOWARD TEMPLE.

IV. 5.

Scene 5.

_Strob._

Emortuom ego me mavelim leto malo
quam non ego illi dem hodie insidias seni.
nam hic iam non audebit aurum abstrudere:
credo ecferet iam secum et mutabit locum.
attat, foris crepuit. senex eccum aurum ecfert foras.
tantisper huc ego ad ianuam concessero.

I’d sooner be tortured to death than not give that old
fellow a surprise to-day. (_reflecting_) Well, after this
he won’t dare hide his gold here. What he’ll most likely
do is bring it out with him and put it somewhere else.
(_listening_) Hm-m-m! There goes the door! Aha! the old
boy’s coming out with it. I’ll just back up by the doorway
for a while. (_hides by Megadorus’s house_)

IV. 6.

Scene 6

RE-ENTER _Euclio_ WITH POT.

_Eucl._

Fide censebam maxumam multo fidem
esse, ea sublevit os mihi paenissume:
ni subvenisset corvos, periissem miser.
nimis hercle ego illum corvom ad me veniat velim. 670
qui indicium fecit, ut ego illi aliquid boni
dicam; nam quod edit tam duim quam perduim.

I used to fancy Faith, of all deities, was absolutely
faithful, and here she’s just missed making a downright ass
of me. If that raven hadn’t stood by me, I’d be a poor, poor
ruined man. By heavens, I’d just like that raven to come and
see me, the one that warned me, I certainly should, so that
I might pay him a handsome--compliment. As for tossing him a
bite to eat, why, that would amount to throwing it away.

nunc hoc ubi abstrudam cogito solum locum.
Silvani lucus extra murum est avius,
crebro salicto oppletus. ibi sumam locum.
certumst, Silvano potius credam quam Fide.

(_meditating_) Let me think now, where is some lonely spot
to hide this in? (_after a moment_) There’s that grove of
Silvanus outside the wall, solitary, willow thickets all
around. There’s where I’ll pick my place. I’d sooner trust
Silvanus than Faith, and that’s settled. [EXIT _Euclio_.

_Strob._

Euge, euge, di me salvom et servatum volunt.
iam ego illuc praecurram atque inscendam aliquam in arborem
indeque observabo, aurum ubi abstrudat senex.
quamquam hic manere me erus sese iusserat; 680
certum est, malam rem potius quaeram cum lucro.

Good! Good! The gods are with me. I’m a made man! Now I’ll
run on ahead and climb some tree there so as to sight the
place where the old fellow hides it. What if master did
tell me to wait here! I’d sooner look for a thrashing along
with the cash, and that’s settled. [EXIT _Strobilus_.

IV. 7.

Scene 7.

ENTER _Lyconides_ AND _Eunomia_.

_Lyc._

Dixi tibi, mater, iuxta rem mecum tenes.
super Euchoms filia. nunc te obsecro
resecroque, mater, quod dudum obsecraveram:
fac mentionem cum avonculo, mater mea.

That’s the whole story, mother: you see how it is with me
and Euclio’s daughter as well as I do. And now, mother,
I beg you, beg you again and again, as I did before: do
tell my uncle about it, mother dear.

_Eun._

Scis tute facta velle me quae tu velis,
et istuc confido a fratre me impetrassere;
et causa iusta est, siquidem ita est ut praedicas,
te eam compressisse vinulentum virginem.

Your wishes are mine, dear; you know that yourself: and I
feel sure your uncle will not refuse me. It’s a perfectly
reasonable request, too, if it’s all as you say and you
actually did get intoxicated and treat the poor girl so.

_Lyc._

Egone ut te advorsum mentiar, mater mea? 690

Is it like me to look you in the face and lie, my dear
mother?

_Phaed._

Perii, mea nutrix. obsecro te, uterum dolet.
Iuno Lucina, tuam fidem!

(_within Euclio’s house_) Oh--oh! Nurse! Nurse dear! Oh, God
help me! The pain!

_Lyc._

Em, mater mea,
tibi rem potiorem verbo: clamat, parturit.

There, mother! There’s better proof than words gives. Her
cries! The child!

_Eun._

Ei hac intro mecum, gnate mi, ad fratrem meum,
ut istuc quod me oras impetratum ab eo auferam.

(_agitated_) Come, darling, come in to your uncle with me,
so that I may persuade him to let it be as you urge.

_Lyc._

I, iam sequar te, mater. sed servom meum
Strobilum miror ubi sit, quem ego me iusseram
hic opperiri. nunc ego mecum cogito:
si mihi dat operam, me illi irasci iniurium est.
ibo intro, ubi de capite meo sunt comitia. 700

You go, mother: I’ll follow you in a moment.
[EXIT _Eunomia_ INTO _Megadorus’s_ HOUSE.
I wonder (_looking around_) where that fellow Strobilus of
mine is that I told to wait for me here. (_pauses_) Well,
on thinking it over, if he’s doing something for me, it’s
all wrong my finding fault with him. (_turning toward
Megadorus’s door_) Now for the session that decides my fate.
[EXIT.

IV. 8.

Scene 8.

ENTER _Strobilus_ WITH POT.

_Strob._

Picis divitiis, qui aureos montes colunt,
ego solus supero. nam istos reges ceteros
memorare nolo, hominum mendicabula:
ego sum ille rex Philippus. o lepidum diem,
nam ut dudum hinc abii, multo illo adveni prior
multoque prius me conlocavi in arborem
indeque spectabam aurum ubi abstrudebat senex.

(_elated_) Woodpeckers that haunt the Hills of Gold, eh!
I can buy ’em up my own single self. As for the rest of your
big kings--not worth mentioning, poor beggarlets! I am the
great King Philip. Oh, this is a grand day! Why, after I
left here a while ago I got there long before him and was
up in a tree long before he came: and from there I spotted
where the old chap hid the stuff.

ubi ille abiit, ego me dorsum duco de arbore,
exfodio aulam auri plenam. inde ex eo loco
video recipere se senem; ille me non videt, 710
nam ego declinavi paululum me extra viam.
attat, eccum ipsum. ibo ut hoc condam domum.

After he’d gone I scrabbled down, dug up the pot full of
gold! Then I saw him coming back from the place; he didn’t
see me, though. I slipped off a bit to one side of the road
(_looking down street_) Aha! there he comes! I’ll home and
tuck this out of sight. [EXIT _Strobilus_.

IV. 9.

Scene 9.

ENTER _Euclio_ FRANTIC.

_Eucl._

Perii interii occidi. quo curram? quo non curram? tene, tene.
quem? quis?
nescio, nil video, caecus eo atque equidem quo eam aut ubi sim
aut qui sim
nequeo cum animo certum investigare. obsecro vos ego, mi auxilio,
oro obtestor, sitis et hominem demonstretis, quis eam abstulerit.

(_running wildly back and forth_) I’m ruined, I’m killed,
I’m murdered! Where shall I run? Where shan’t I run? Stop
thief! Stop thief! What thief? Who? I don’t know! I can’t
see! I’m all in the dark! Yes, yes, and where I’m going, or
where I am, or who I am--oh, I can’t tell, I can’t think!
(_to audience_) Help, help, for heaven’s sake, I beg you,
I implore you! Show the man that took it.

quid est? quid ridetis? novi omnes, scio fures esse hic complures,
qui vestitu et creta occultant sese atque sedent quasi sint frugi.
quid ais tu? tibi credere certum est, nam esse bonum ex voltu
cognosco.
hem, nemo habet horum? occidisti.
dic igitur, quis habet? nescis? 720

Eh, what’s that? What are you grinning for? I know you, the
whole lot of you! I know there are thieves here, plenty of
’em, that cover themselves up in dapper clothes and sit
still as if they were honest men. (_to a spectator_) You,
sir, what do you say? I’ll trust you, I will, I will. Yes,
you’re a worthy gentleman, I can tell it from your face.
Ha! none of them has it? Oh, you’ve killed me! Tell me,
who has got it, then? You don’t know?

heu me miserum, misere perii,
male perditus, pessime ornatus eo:
tantum gemiti et mali maestitiaeque
hic dies mi optulit, famem et pauperiem.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! I’m a ruined man! I’m lost, lost!
Oh, what a plight! Oh, such a cruel, disastrous, dismal day--
it’s made a starveling of me, a pauper!

perditissimus ego sum omnium in terra;
nam quid mi opust vita, qui tantum auri
perdidi, quod concustodivi
sedulo? egomet me defraudavi
animumque meum geniumque meum;
nunc eo alii laetificantur
meo malo et damno. pati nequeo.

I’m the forlornest wretch on earth! Ah, what is there in
life for me when I’ve lost all that gold I guarded, oh, so
carefully! I’ve denied myself, denied my own self comforts
and pleasures; yes, and now others are making merry over my
misery and loss! Oh, it’s unendurable!

ENTER _Lyconides_ FROM HOUSE OF _Megadorus_.

_Lyc._

Quinam homo hic ante aedis nostras eiulans conqueritur maerens?
atque hic quidem Euclio est, ut opinor.
oppido ego interii: palamst res,
scit peperisse iam, ut ego opinor, filiam suam. nunc mi incertumst
abeam an maneam, an adeam an fugiam quid agam edepol nescio. 730

Who in the world is raising all this howling, groaning
hullabaloo before our house here? (_looking round_) Upon my
word, it’s Euclio, I do believe. (_drawing back_) My time
has certainly come: it’s all out. He’s just learned about
his daughter’s child, I suppose. Now I can’t decide whether
to leave or stay, advance or retreat. By Jove, I don’t know
what to do!

IV. 10

Scene 10.

_Eucl._

Quis homo hic loquitur?

(_hearing sound of voice only_) Who’s that talking here?

_Lyc._

Ego sum miser.

(_stepping forward_) I’m the poor wretch, sir.

_Eucl._

Immo ego sum, et misere perditus,
cui tanta mala maestitudoque optigit.

No, no, I’m the poor wretch, a poor ruined wretch, with all
this trouble and tribulation.

_Lyc._

Animo bono es.

Keep your courage up, sir.

_Eucl._

Quo, obsecro, pacto esse possum?

For heaven’s sake how can I?

_Lyc._

Quia istuc facinus, quod tuom
sollicitat animum, id ego feci et fateor.

Well, sir, that outrage that distresses you--(_hesitantly_)
I’m to blame, and I confess it, sir.

_Eucl._

Quid ego ex te audio?

Hey? What’s that?

_Lyc._

Id quod verumst.

The truth.

_Eucl._

Quid ego de te commerui, adulescens, mali.
quam ob rem ita faceres meque meosque perditum ires liberos?

How have I ever harmed you, young man, for you to act like
this and try to ruin me and my children?

_Lyc._

Deus impulsor mihi fuit, is me ad illam inlexit.

It was some demon got hold of me, sir, and led me on.

_Eucl._

Quo modo?

How is this?

_Lyc._

Fateor peccavisse et me culpam commeritum scio;
id adeo te oratum advenio ut animo aequo ignoscas mihi.

I admit I’ve done wrong, sir; I deserve your reproaches,
and I know it; more than that, I’ve come to beg you to be
patient and forgive me.

_Eucl._

Cur id ausu’s facere, ut id quod non tuom esset tangeres? 740

How did you dare do it, dare touch what didn’t belong to you?

_Lyc._

Quid vis fieri? factum est illud: fieri infectum non potest.
deos credo voluisse; nam ni vellent, nori fieret, scio.

(_penitently_) Well, well, sir,--it’s done, and it can’t
be undone. I think it must have been fated; otherwise it
wouldn’t have happened, I’m sure of that.

_Eucl._

At ego deos credo voluisse ut apud me te in nervo enicem.

Yes, and I think it must have been fated that I’m to shackle
you at my house and murder you!

_Lyc._

Ne istuc dixis.

Don’t say that, sir.

_Eucl._

Quid tibi ergo meam me invito tactiost?

Then why did you lay hands on what was mine, without my
permission?

_Lyc._

Quia vini vitio atque amoris feci.

It was all because of drink ... and ... love, sir.

_Eucl._

Homo audacissime,
cum istacin te oratione huc ad me adire ausum, impudens!
nam si istuc ius est ut tu istuc excusare possies,
luci claro deripiamus aurum matronis palam,
post id si prehensi simus, excusemus ebrios
nos fecisse amoris causa. nimis vilest vinum atque amor, 750
si ebrio atque amanti impune facere quod lubeat licet.

The colossal impudence of it! To dare to come to me with a
tale like that, you shameless rascal! Why, if it’s legal to
clear yourself that way, we should be stripping ladies of
their jewellery on the public highways in broad daylight!
And then when we were caught we’d excuse ourselves on the
score that we were drunk, and did it out of love. Drink and
love are altogether too cheap, if your drunken lover can do
what he likes and not suffer for it.

_Lyc._

Quin tibi ultro supplicatum venio obstultitiam meam.

Yes, but I’ve come of my own accord sir, to entreat you to
pardon my madness.

_Eucl._

Non mi homines placent qui quando male fecerunt purigant.
tu illam scibas non tuam esse. non attactam oportuit.

I have no patience with men who do wrong and then try to
explain it away. You knew you had no right to act so: you
should have kept hands off.

_Lyc._

Ergo quia sum tangere ausus, haud causificor quin eam
ego habeam potissimum.

Well, now that I did venture to act so, I have no objection
to holding to it, sir,--I ask nothing better.

_Eucl_

Tun habeas me invito meam?

(_more angry_) Hold to it? Against my will?

_Lyc._

Haud te invito postulo, sed meam esse oportere arbitror.
quin tu iam invenies, inquam, meam illam esse oportere, Euclio.

I won’t insist on it against your will, sir, but I do think
my claim is just. Why, you’ll soon come to realize the
justice of it yourself, sir, I assure you.

_Eucl._

Iam quidem hercle te ad praetorem rapiam et tibi scribam dicam,
nisi refers.

I’ll march you off to court and sue you, by heaven I will,
this minute, unless you bring it back.

_Lyc._

Quid tibi ego referam?

I? Bring what back?

_Eucl._

Quod surripuisti meum. 760

What you stole from me.

_Lyc._

Surripui ego tuom? unde? aut quid id est?

I stole something of yours? Where from? What?

_Eucl._

Ita te amabit Iuppiter
ut tu nescis.

(_ironically_) God bless your innocence--you don’t know!

_Lyc._

Nisi quidem tu mihi quid quaeras dixeris.

Not unless you say what you’re looking for.

_Eucl._

Aulam auri, inquam, te resposco, quam tu confessu’s mihi
te abstulisse.

The pot of gold, I tell you; I want back the pot of gold you
owned up to taking.

_Lyc._

Neque edepol ego dixi neque feci.

Great heavens, man! I never said that or did it, either.

_Eucl._

Negas?

You deny it?

_Lyc._

Pernego immo. nam neque ego aurum neque istaec aula quae siet
scio nec novi.

Deny it? Absolutely. Why, I don’t know, haven’t any idea,
about your gold, or what that pot is.

_Eucl._

Illam, ex Silvani luco quam abstuleras, cedo.
i, refer. dimidiam tecum potius partem dividam.
tam etsi fur mihi es, molestus non ero. i vero, refer.

The one you took from the grove of Silvanus--give it me. Go,
bring it back. (_pleadingly_) You can have half of it, yes,
yes, I’ll divide. Even though you are such a thief, I won’t
make any trouble for you. Do, do go and bring it back, oh do!

_Lyc._

Sanus tu non es qui furem me voces. ego te, Euclio,
de alia re rescivisse censui, quod ad me attinet; 770
[16]magna est res quam ego tecum otiose, si otium est, cupio loqui.

Man alive, you’re out of your senses, calling me a thief.
I supposed you had found out about something else that does
concern me, Euclio. There’s an important matter I’m anxious
to talk over quietly with you, sir, if you’re at leisure.

_Eucl._

Dic bona fide: tu id aurum non surripuisti?

Give me your word of honour: you didn’t steal that gold?

_Lyc._

Bona.

(_shaking his head_) On my honour.

_Eucl._

Neque eum scis qui abstulerit?

And you don’t know the man that did take it?

_Lyc._

Istuc quoque bona.

Nor that, either, on my honour.

_Eucl._

Atque id si scies
qui abstulerit, mihi indicabis?

And if you learn who took it, you’ll inform me?

_Lyc._

Faciam.

I will.

_Eucl._

Neque partem tibi
ab eo qui habet indipisces neque furem excipies?

And you won’t go shares with the man that has it, or shield
the thief?

_Lyc._

Ita.

No.

_Eucl._

Quid si fallis?

What if you deceive me?

_Lyc._

Tum me faciat quod volt magnus Iuppiter.

Then, sir, may I be dealt with as great God sees fit.

_Eucl._

Sat habeo. age nunc loquere quid vis.

That will suffice. All right now, say what you want.

_Lyc._

Si me novisti minus,
genere quo sim gnatus: hic mihi est Megadorus avonculus,
meus pater fuit Antimachus, ego vocor Lyconides.
mater est Eunomia.

In case you’re not acquainted with my family connections,
sir,--Megadorus here is my uncle: my father was Antimachus,
and my own name is Lyconides: Eunomia is my mother.

_Eucl._

Novi genus. nunc quid vis? id volo 780
noscere.

I know who you are. Now what do you want? That’s what I wish
to know.

_Lyc._

Filiam ex te tu habes.

You have a daughter.

_Eucl._

Immo eccillam domi.

Yes, yes, at home there!

_Lyc._

Eam tu despondisti, opinor, meo avonculo?

You have betrothed her to my uncle, I understand.

_Eucl._

Omnem rem tenes.

Precisely, precisely.

_Lyc._

Is me nunc renuntiare repudium iussit tibi.

He has asked me to inform you now that he breaks the
engagement.

_Eucl._

Repudium rebus paratis, exornatis nuptiis?
ut illum di immortales omnes deaeque quantum est perduint,
quem propter hodie auri tantum perdidi infelix, miser.

(_furious_) Breaks the engagement, with everything ready,
the wedding prepared for? May all the everlasting powers
above consume that villain that’s to blame for my losing my
gold, all that gold, poor God forsaken creature that I am!

_Lyc._

Bono animo es, bene dice. nunc quae res tibi et gnatae tuae
bene feliciterque vortat--ita di faxint, inquito.

Brace up, sir: don’t curse. And now for some thing that I
pray will turn out well and happily for yourself and your
daughter--“God grant it may!” Say that.

_Eucl._

Ita di faciant.

(_doubtfully_) God grant it may!

_Lyc._

Et mihi ita di faciant. audi nunciam.
qui homo culpam admisit in se, nullust tam parvi preti, 790
quom pudeat, quin purget sese. nunc te obtestor, Euclio,
ut si quid ego erga te imprudens peccavi aut gnatam tuam,
ut mi ignoscas eamque uxorem mihi des, ut leges iubent.
ego me iniuriam fecisse filiae fateor tuae,
Cereris vigiliis, per vinum atque impulsu adulescentiae.

And God grant it may for me, too! Now listen, sir. There
isn’t a man alive so worthless but what he wants to clear
himself when he’s done wrong and is ashamed. Now, sir, if
I’ve injured you or your daughter without realizing what I
was doing, I implore you to forgive me and let me marry her
as I’m legally bound to. (_nervously_) It was the night of
Ceres’ festival ... and what with wine and ... a young
fellow’s natural impulses together ... I wronged her,
I confess it.

_Eucl._

Ei mihi, quod ego facinus ex te audio?

Oh, oh, my God! What villainy am I hearing of?

_Lyc._

Cur eiulas,
quem ego avom feci iam ut esses filiai nuptus?
nam tua gnata peperit, decumo mense post: numerum cape;
ea re repudium remisit avonculus causa mea.
i intro, exquaere, sitne ita ut ego praedico.

(_patting his shoulder_) Lamenting, sir, lamenting, when
you’re a grandfather, and this your daughter’s wedding day?
You see it’s the tenth month since the festival--reckon it
up--and we have a child, sir. This explains my uncle’s
breaking the engagement: he did it for my sake. Go in and
inquire if it isn’t just as I tell you.

_Eucl._

Perii oppido, 800
ita mihi ad malum malae res plurimae se adglutinant.
ibo intro, ut quid huius verum sit sciam.

Oh, my life is wrecked, wrecked! The way calamities swarm
down and settle on me one after another! Go in I will, and
have the truth of it! [EXIT INTO HIS HOUSE.

_Lyc._

Iam te sequor
haec propemodum iam esse in vado salutis res videtur
nunc servom esse ubi dicam meum Strobilum non reperio;
nisi etiam hic opperiar tamen paulisper, postea intro
hunc subsequar. nunc interim spatium ei dabo exquirendi
meum factum ex gnatae pedisequa nutrice anu. ea rem novit.

(_as he disappears_) I’ll soon be with you, sir. (_after
a pause, contentedly_) It does look as if we were pretty
nearly safe in the shallows now. (_looking around_) Where in
the world my fellow Strobilus is I can’t imagine. Well, the
only thing to do is to wait here a bit longer; then I’ll
join father-in-law inside. Meanwhile I’ll let him have an
opportunity to inquire into the case from the old nurse
that’s been his daughter’s maid: she knows about it all.
(_waits in doorway_)

ACTVS V