Chapter V: Usurers and Curryers., 392 (18)

This Story gives us to understand in the Application of it, that there are more Mad-men out of _Bedlam_ than in’t; and that according to _Horace_, We are all Mad, every Mother’s Child of us, more or less; and therefore ’tis but Neighbourly Justice for One Mad-man to bear with another. ’Twas well enough said of a Fellow in a Mad-House that was ask’d in the Interval of his Distemper how he came to be there? Why, says he, _The Mad Folks abroad are too many for us, and so they have Master’d all the Sober People, and Coop’d ’em up here_. There’s an Alienation of Mind in the Moral, as well as in the Physical Acceptation of the Expression: and he’s as Mad a Man that abuses his Reason, as he that has lost the Exercise of it: Beside, that there’s as great a Diversity of Freak and Extravagancy in the one Sense as in the other; and they have their _Paroxisms_ and their Intermissions both alike. Every Man Living in fine, has his weak side, and ’tis but striking the right Vein to set the Humour a Working.

The General Doctrin of this Parable, we find summ’d up in a very few Words here: that is to say, he that eagerly pursues any thing, and gives more for’t then it is worth, is no better then a Mad-man. Now the way to make a true Estimate both of the Price and of the Purchase, is only to set the one against the other, and so to Ballance the Account. One Mans Head runs Riot upon Hawks, Hounds, Dice, Drabs, Drinking, Revelling, and for Brevity sake, we may e’en take in the whole Roll of Good Natur’d Sins and Pleasures, (if I may call them so,) that may serve to Gratifie a Sensual Appetite. Let but a Man consider now the Time, Mony, Care, Labour, and Vexation that this Wild-Goose-Chase has cost him, and then say to himself on the other hand, what have I gotten to answer all this Expense, but the Loose, Giddy Frolick of a few Mad Hours, attended with Claps, Gouts, Palsies, Infamy, Beggary, Nauseous Qualms, Surfeiting Satieties, Anxiety of Thought and Conscience, and all attended with the Anguish of a Late and Unprofitable Repentance in the Conclusion? And it is the same thing too with the Diabolical Transports of Ambition, Pride, Envy, Revenge, and the like; over and above the Irreparable Loss of a Thousand Blessed Opportunities, to the extreme Hazard of Eternity it self. When ’tis come to this once, there’s no way but the Doctor’s Discipline; that is to say, Mortification and Affliction to bring us to our selves again.

FAB. CCCLXIX.

A _Country Fellow_ Climbing a _Tree_.

A Country Fellow got an Unlucky Tumble from a _Tree_: Why this ’tis, (says a Passenger,) when People will be doing things Hand over Head, without either Fear or Wit: Now could I have taught you a way to climb a Thousand Trees, and never hurt your self with a Fall. Alas, says t’other, the Advice comes too late for this Bout, but let’s have it however; for a body may be the better for’t another time. Why then (says the Traveller,) _You must take care for the future, whenever you Climb another Tree; that you come no faster down than you went up_.

The MORAL.

_Do nothing Rashly._

REFLEXION.

’Tis Good Counsel rather to take Time and Leisure in matters that will bear it, then to venture Neck and All with overmuch Hast.

All Rash and Aspiring Humours, fall under the Reproof of this Moral; for there are Climbers in State, as well as in Woods and Orchards; and Favourites run as great a Risque in Mounting to Honours, Charges and Preferments, as the Fellow did here in Climbing an _Apple-Tree_. Their Rise is commonly Gentle and Step by Step; but when they are once up, they are in danger of falling down again by their own Weight: Wherefore _Slow_ and _Sure_ in these Cases, is good Counsel. ’Tis a Roguy kind of a Saying, that _He that will be Rich before Night, may be Hang’d before Noon_. High Places are Slippery, and it turns the very Brain of a Man to look down from ’em. He that first call’d _Experience the Mistress of Fools_, might at the same time have told us upon the Opposition, that _Nature is the Mistress of Wise Men_: Only the one looks forward from the Causes into the Effects, and the other traces the Truth, and the Reason of Things backward, from the Effects up to their Causes. That is to say, the one Teaches us Wit, by shewing us where we play’d the Fool, and the other Teaches us Wit, by keeping us before-hand from Playing the Fool at all. To apply this Moral to the Fable now, the stress of it rests upon the matter of Foresight, and After-Wit, and the Doctrin tells us, that he that wants the one, must make his Best of the other: This was the very Case of the Man in the Orchard here, before and after his Fall. Now Nature does nothing by _Starts_ and _Leaps_, or in a _Hurry_, as we say; but all her Motions are Gradual, Regular, and without Noise, which may serve us for a Lesson, and a President, not to do any thing Rashly.

FAB. CCCLXX.

One that had Lost his _Mony_ and _Cloaths_ at _Play_.

A Fellow that had lost his _Mony_ and _Cloaths_ at _Play_, stood sniv’ling at a Tavern Door, to think what would become of him. One of his Acquaintance came to him, and asked him what he Cry’d for? For _Nothing_ says he. How come you to Cry then, says t’other, if you have nothing to Trouble you? Why for that very Reason, says he, because I have _Nothing_. Now the one took it that he had no Reason to Cry, and the other meant that he Cry’d because he had nothing left him.

The MORAL.

_Cautions are as Instructive as Precepts; the one shews us what we are not to do, and the other what we are._

REFLEXION.

This Quirk is little better then the Childrens Play of _Riddle me, Riddle me_; though the Conceit I know is Celebrated among the _Apothegms_ of the Ancients. The Mony and the Cloaths were Lost on purpose to make way for the Jest; as the Gentleman dropt his Book into the River, off of _Maudlin Bridge_ in _Cambridge_: What’s that, says one of his Acquaintance that was passing by? Alas, says t’other, ’tis _Just In_; now the Book was _Justin_. We may observe from hence, what Pains some Men take to make themselves Ridiculous, and that Study may Emprove a Coxcomb as well as a Philosopher. We may learn further, that _Men do not know when they are well_, or when they have enough; but shift and squander till they would half Hang themselves at last, to be where they were again. It may be another Note too, the Unreasonableness of Jesting in Cases of Distress: So that the Figure at last is Fool all over. Upon the whole, the Fellow Plays, and loses his very Back-side, and then Cries: And what is all this more now, then the laying of a Train for the bringing in by Head and Shoulders the miserable Conceit of _Nothing_ upon _Nothing_.

FAB. CCCLXXI.

A _Blinkard_ Buying of _Wheat_.

Upon a time when there was an Extreme Scarcity of Corn in _Florence_, a Poor Wretch with _One Eye_, was sent to the Market with a great Sack, to Buy such a Provision of Wheat: He goes to his Corn-Merchant, and asks him the Price of so many Measures. Why, says he, one of these Measures is as much as one of your Eyes is worth; (meaning, that Wheat was very Dear.) Why then cries an Unlucky Wag, that stood by there, A less Bag methinks might have serv’d your Turn, for One of those Measures is as much as you are able to pay for.

The MORAL.

_A Jeering Buffon is the common Enemy of Mankind._

REFLEXION.

It is a high Point of Ill Nature and Ill Manners, to make Sport with any Man’s Imperfections, that he cannot help; and it holds as well too in the case of our Misfortunes, if we have not brought them upon our selves by our own Fault. ’Tis enough, where anything of this falls out one way or t’other, that Providence and Nature will have it so: But Intemperate Wits will spare neither Friend nor Foe; and make themselves the common Enemies of Mankind. Men that are given to this Licentious Humour of Scoffing at Personal Blemishes and Defects, should do well methinks to look into themselves a little, and begin their Animadversions at Home; for which is the Greater Scandal, the want of Charity, Modesty, Humanity; or the want of an Eye? ’Tis the Reasonable Soul that makes the Man, not the Body; and a Deformity in the Nobler Part is Ten Thousand Times more liable to Reproche, then an Imperfection in the other. We are not answerable for our Persons, but for our Manners we are. The Scorner should do well also to consider upon the Sight of a Cripple, or a Monster, that it was only the Distinguishing Mercy of Heaven that kept him from being one too; and not render himself by his Ingratitude the more Abominable Monster of the Two. The Boy in fine, did very Ill, and if he had but been soundly Whipt for’t, it would have Perfected the Morality of the Fable.

FAB. CCCLXXII.

A _Country-man_ with his _Asses_.

A _Country-man_ that had been at Market with his Corn, and was Driving his _Asses_ Home again, Mounted one of the Best of them to Ease himself: When he was up, he fell to Counting, and so kept Telling them over and over, all the way he went, but still wanted one of his Number. Upon this, away he goes to the Market Town, whence he came (a matter of Seven Miles off, back again,) Enquiring of all he met, if any Body had seen his _Ass_. He could learn no Tydings of him, and so Home he went, Late at Night, as arrant a Fool, as he set out. The Loss went to the Heart of him, but upon Alighting, and his Wives giving him the Hint, he found his Beast again, and that the _Ass_ he rode upon was forgot in the Reckoning.

The MORAL.

_The Butcher look’d for his Knife when he had it in his Mouth._

REFLEXION.

’Tis many a man’s Case, to fancy that he wants what in Truth he has; and then to Tire himself out with Hunting after it Abroad, when he carries it about him all this while, and may have it better Cheap at Home. The bare Supposal of one Petty Loss, makes us unthankful for all that’s left. We are naturally apt to think our Selves Miserable, and the very thinking so, makes us so. This Conceit puts us upon the Ramble up and down for Relief, (and all in vain too,) ’till very Weariness brings us at last to our selves again, where we find the _Ass_ we sought for, and the Cure of all our Misfortunes in our own Breasts. A Man may be so intent upon one thing, as to heed nothing else, as he that spent half a day to look for his Odd Stocking, when he had them both upon a Leg.

FAB. CCCLXXIII.

A _Man_ that Carried his _Plough_ to Ease his _Oxen_.

A _Peasant_ that had Plow’d himself and his Oxen quite a Weary, Mounted an _Ass_, with the _Plough_ before him, and sent the _Oxen_ to _Dinner_: The Poor _Ass_, he found was ready to Sink under the Load, and so he took up the _Plough_ and laid it upon his own Shoulders. Now, says he to the _Ass_, Thou mayst carry _Me_ well enough, when I carry the _Plough_.

The MORAL.

_Some Brute Animals, have more understanding then some Men._

REFLEXION.

Man and Wife are in many Cases the _Ploughman_ here, and his _Ass_; they think to Ease one another, not considering that what either of them bears, is a common Burden to both. There was a Fudling Couple that sold Ale, and their Humour was to Drink Drunk _Hand to Fist_, upon their own Liquor: They laid down their Club still for what they had, and this they called _Forcing a Trade_. Now so long as the Tipple was paid for, all went merrily on they thought, without ever so much as Dreaming that ’twas at their own Cost. ’Tis much thereabouts betwixt Rulers and Subjects: The _Prince_ may carry the _Plough_ perhaps, but the weight of both Plough and Prince lies upon the Peoples Shoulders.

Miscellany Fables.

FAB. CCCLXXIV.

A _Fox_ and a _Cat_.

There was a Question started betwixt a _Fox_ and a _Cat_; which of the Two could make the best Shift in the World, if they were put to a Pinch. For my own part, (says _Reynard_,) when the worst comes to the worst, I have a whole Budget of Tricks to come off with at last. At that very Instant, up comes a Pack of Dogs full-Cry toward them. The _Cat_ presently takes a Tree, and sees the Poor Fox torn to Pieces upon the very Spot. Well (says _Puss_ to her self,) One Sure Trick I find is better than a Hundred Slippery ones.

The MORAL.

_Nature has provided better for us, then we could have done for our selves._

REFLEXION.

One Double Practice may be disappointed by another; but the Gifts of Nature are beyond all the Shams and Shuffles in the World. There’s as much difference betwixt Craft and Wisdom, as there is betwixt Philosophy and Slight of Hand. Shifting and Shuffling may serve for a Time, but Truth and Simplicity will most certainly carry it at the long run. When a Man of Trick comes once to be Detected, he’s Lost, even to all Intents and Purposes: Not but that one Invention may in some Cases be Honestly Countermin’d with another. But this is to be said upon the whole Matter, That Nature provides better for us, then we can do for our selves; and instructs every Creature more or less, how to shift for it self in Cases of Ordinary Danger. Some bring themselves off by their Wings, others by their Heels, Craft, or Strength. Some have their Cells or Hiding Places; and upon the Upshot, they do more by Virtue of a Common Instinct toward their own Preservation, then if they had the whole Colledge of the _Virtuosi_ for their Advisers. It was _Nature_ in fine, that brought off the _Cat_, when the _Foxes_ whole Budget of _Inventions_ fail’d him.

FAB. CCCLXXV.

The _Dancing Apes_.

A Certain _Ægyptian King_ Endow’d a _Dancing-School_ for the Institution of _Apes of Quality_; and when they came to be Perfect in their Lessons, they were Dress’d up after the best manner, and so brought forth for a Spectacle upon the Stage. As they were in the Middle of their Gamboles, some body threw a Handful of Apples among them, that set them presently together by the Ears upon the Scramble, without any regard in the World to the Business in Hand, or to the Dignity of their Education.

The MORAL.

_The Force of Nature is infinitely beyond that of Discipline and Imitation._

REFLEXION.

Men have their weak Sides as well as _Apes_, and it is not in the Power of Study and Discipline to extinguish Natural Inclinations; no not so much as to Conceal them for any long time, but they’l be breaking out now and then by Starts and Surprizes, and discover themselves. The _Apes_ were Taught their _Apes_ Tricks by a Dancing-Master; but it was _Nature_ that Taught them to Eat Apples, and the Natural Institution was much the stronger of the Two.

FAB. CCCLXXVI.

An _Ass_ and _Two Travellers_.

A Couple of _Travellers_ that took up an _Ass_ in a Forrest, fell downright to Loggerheads, which of the Two should be his Master: So the _Ass_ was to stand by, to see those Two Boobies try their Title to him by a Rubber at Cuffs. The _Ass_ very fairly look’d on, till they had Box’d themselves aweary, and then left them both in the Lurch.

The MORAL.

_’Tis a common thing, both in Love, Law and Arms, for Plaintiff and Defendant to lye Battering one another for a Prize that gives them both the slip._

REFLEXION.

Many People have fair Opportunities put into their Hands, and want Wit to make Use of them. Here was a silly Controversie, as sillily Manag’d, and Two Quarrelsom Fools out-witted by an _Ass_. Why did they not keep him when they had him sure? Or why did they not Compound the matter, and Divide, when the one had no more right to him than the other? But this of the _Travellers_ and the _Ass_ is a common Case, and a Frivolous Contentious Law-Suit is the Moral of it; when Plaintiff and Defendant are Worrying one another about the Title, till they have spent the Estate. So the _Travellers_ fought here for an _Ass_, and the _Ass_ ran away with the _Stakes_.

FAB. CCCLXXVII.

_Mercury_ and _Fishermen_.

Some _Fishermen_ that had caught more Fish then they knew what to do withal, Invited _Mercury_ to part with them; but finding that the Invitation was not so much matter of Respect, as to get rid of the Glut they had taken, he very fairly left them to Eat by themselves.

The MORAL.

_In all the Good Offices of Human Society, ’tis the Will and the Affection that Creates the Obligation._

REFLEXION.

’Tis the ordinary Practice of the World, for Men to be kind to other People for their own sakes; or at least to be frank of Civilities that cost them nothing: Wherefore we are to Distinguish betwixt Kindnesses that are only matter of Course, and Friendly Offices that are done out of Choice and Good Will. Where’s the Obligation, the Friendship, or the Respect of any Man’s making me a Present of what he neither cares for himself, nor knows what to do withal? And of that which I am to be never the better for neither? The Fellow here had taken more Fish than he could spend while they were Sweet, and so rather than they should lie by to stink him out of the House, he invited _Mercury_ to the Eating of them; that is to say, to the Helping him off with them.

FAB. CCCLXXVIII.

An _Eagle_ and a _Beetle_.

A _Hare_ that was hard put to’t by an _Eagle_, took Sanctuary in a Ditch with a _Beetle_. The _Beetle_ Interceded for the _Hare_: The _Eagle_ Flapt off the former, and Devoured the other. The _Beetle_ took this for an Affront to Hospitality, as well as to her Self, and so Meditated a Revenge, watch’d the _Eagle_ up to her Nest, follow’d her, and took her Time when the _Eagle_ was Abroad, and so made a shift to Roll out the Eggs, and Destroy the Brood. The _Eagle_ upon this Disappointment, Timber’d a great deal higher next Bout; The _Beetle_ watch’d her still, and shew’d her the same Trick once again. Whereupon the _Eagle_ made her Appeal to _Jupiter_, who gave her leave to lay her next Course of Eggs in his own Lap. But the _Beetle_ found out a way to make _Jupiter_ rise from his Throne; so that upon the Loosning of his Mantle, the Eggs fell from him at unwares, and the _Eagle_ was a Third time Defeated. _Jupiter_ stomach’d the Indignity, but upon Hearing the Cause, he found the _Eagle_ to be the Aggressor, and so Acquitted the _Beetle_.

The MORAL.

_’Tis not for a Generous Prince to Countenance Oppression and Injustice, even in his most Darling Favourites._

REFLEXION.

The Rights and Privileges of Hospitality are so Sacred, that _Jupiter_ himself would not Countenance the Violation of them, even in his own Minion, the _Eagle_. Nor is there any thing so despicable, (as we see in the Case of the _Beetle_,) but Access is open for the Cries of Distressed Innocence, to Divine Justice. Let no Man presume because he is Great and Powerful, nor Despair because he is Low and Poor; for the one may Rise and the other may Fall, and the meanest Enemy may find a way to a Revenge. Tyranny may prosper for a while, ’tis true, and under the Countenance of a Divine Permission too, as the _Eagle_ got leave here to Deposite her Eggs (or her Cause) in Heaven: But _Jupiter_’s Lap it self, we see, is no Final Sanctuary for an Oppressor. Though nothing is more common in the World then to mistake Providences and Judgments, and to call the Wickedest and the worst of Men and of Things by Good Names.

FAB. CCCLXXIX.

An _Owl_ and _Little Birds_.

There goes a Story of an _Owl_ that was advised by the _Little Birds_ to Build rather among the Boughs and Leaves, as They did, then in Walls and Hollow Trees; and so they shew’d her a young Tender Plant for her Purpose. No No, says the _Owl_, those Twigs in time will come to be Lim’d, and then you’re all Lost if you do but touch ’em. The _Birds_ gave little Heed to’t, and so went on Playing and Chirping among the Leaves still, and passing their Time there in Flocks as formerly; till in the conclusion the Sprigs were all daub’d with Lime, and the poor Wretches clamm’d and taken. Their Repentance came now too late; but in Memory of this Notable Instance of the _Owl_’s Foresight, the _Birds_ never see an _Owl_ to this very Day, but they Flock about her and Follow her, as if it were for a New Lesson. But our _Modern Owls_ have only the _Eyes_, the _Beak_, and the _Plume_ of the _Owls_ of _Athens_, without the Wisdom.

The MORAL.

_Good Counsel is lost upon those that have not the Grace to Hearken to’t; or do not Understand it, or will not Embrace and Follow it in the Proper Season._

REFLEXION.

Wholesome Advice is worth nothing, unless it be (in Truth,) Given as well as taken in Season. This Fable shews the Danger and the Mischief of either Rejecting, not Heeding, or not Entertaining it; and likewise at the same time, sets forth how hard a thing it is to fasten Profitable Advice upon Men that Indulge themselves in Ease and Pleasure. They look upon it as so much time lost to employ the Present upon the Thought of the Future; and so by one Delay after another, they Spin out their whole lives, till there’s no more Future left before ’em. This Dilatory Humour proceeds partly from a Slothful Laziness of Temper; as I knew a Man that would not be got out of his Bed when the House was a-Fire over his Head. Action is Death to some sort of People, and they’d as live Hang as Work. It arises in a great measure too from an Habitual Heedless Inadvertency, when Men are so Intent upon the Present, that they mind nothing else; and Councel is but cast away upon them. _Birds of Pleasure_, and _Men of Pleasure_ are too Merry to be Wise; and the Case of this _Fable_ is but the Common Case of the _World_. Wholesome Advice comes in at one Ear, and goes out at t’other. Men, in short, of _Blood_ and Appetite, have no Foresight; and oft _Postpone_ Prudence as a Virtue of another Season.

FAB. CCCLXXX.

A _Gourd_ and a _Pine_.

There was a _Gourd_ Planted close by a Large Well-spread _Pine_: The Season was Kindly, and the _Gourd_ shot it self up in a short time, climbing by the Boughs, and twining about ’em, till it topp’d and cover’d the Tree it self. The Leaves were Large, and the Flowers and the Fruit Fair; insomuch that the _Gourd_ had the confidence to value it self above the _Pine_, upon the comparison. Why, says the _Gourd_, you have been more Years a growing to this Statue, then I have been Days. Well, says the _Pine_ again, but after so many Winters and Summers as I have endured, after so many Blasting Colds, and Parching Heats, you see me the very same thing still that I was so long ago. But when you come to the Proof once, the First Blight or Frost shall most infallibly bring down that Stomach of yours, and strip ye of all your Glory.

The MORAL.

_Nothing so Insolent and Intolerable as a Proud Upstart that’s rais’d from a Dunghil; he forgets both his Master and his Maker._

REFLEXION.

The _Gourd_ here is an Emblem of vain Pride and Ingratitude; and the _Pine_ bids Princes and Great Men have a care what Favourites they prefer, and what Friendships they Entertain; and this for their own sakes, as well as for the sake of the Publick. He’s a Fool that takes himself to be Greater, Richer, Fairer or Better then he is; or that reckons any thing his own, which is either but borrow’d, or may be taken away next Moment. He that lives barely upon Borrowing, is effectually but a Beggar when his Debts are paid. This _Gourd_ in short, is a Proud Upstart; his Growth is quick, but his Continuance short: He values himself upon his Feather in his Cap; and in a word, upon those Fooleries that a Man of Honour and Substance would blush at. And nothing else will serve him neither, but to vye Excellencies with those that took him out of the Dirt; nay, and to elevate himself (when all’s done) to the Dishonour of the Supporters. And what’s the Issue at last of encouraging these Minions, but his bringing of a Scandal upon Common Justice, by a most pernicious Example, that ends in the very Starving, as well as the Defaming of their Benefactors; for ’tis impossible but they must Pine and Wither, that entertain such Hangers-on. This _Gourd_ in fine is the true Emblem of a _Court-Leech_; he Fastens and Sucks, without either Mercy or Measure, and when he has drawn his Master Dry, he very fairly drops off, changes his Party, and so leaves him.

FAB. CCCLXXXI.

A _Raven_ and _Wolves_.

A _Raven_ that had waited upon a Herd of _Wolves_ a whole Days Ramble, came to ’em at Night for a share of the Prey they had got. The _Wolves_ answer’d him, that if he had gone along with ’em for Pure Love, and not for his Gut, he should have had his Part: But (said they) a _Dead Wolf_ if it had so fall’n out, would have serv’d a _Raven_’s turn as well as a _Dead Sheep_.

The MORAL.

_Most People Worship for the Loaves, from the very Plough-Tail to the Crosier and Scepter; and the World bows to that that’s uppermost._

REFLEXION.

’Tis the Intention that qualifies the Action; neither is it for any Man to pretend Merit, or to challenge a Reward for attending his own Business. The _Raven_ Dogg’d the _Wolves_ for his Supper: Now if these _Wolves_ themselves had been Hounded by a Herd of _Tygers_, that should have Worried _Them_, one sort of Carrion would have been as good to the _Raven_, as another. This is the Case, as well betwixt Man and Man, as of _Wolves_ and _Ravens_, that suck the Blood of those they Follow and Depend upon, under a Pretext of Service and Kindness. How many Examples have we seen of this, among those that follow Courts, and the Leaders of those Followers? If the Master gets the better on’t, they come in for their Snack; and if he happens to fall in the Chace, his Temporising Friends are the Foremost to break in upon the Quarry. Whether the _Wolves Took_ or were _Taken_, was all a Case to the _Raven_.

FAB. CCCLXXXII.

_Arion_ and a _Dolphin_.

This Famous _Arion_ was a Great Favourite of _Periander_ the King of _Corinth_; he Travelled from thence into _Sicily_ and _Italy_, where he gathered a great Mass of Treasure, and gain’d over and above, the Good-Will and Esteem of all People wherever he came. From thence he put himself Abord a _Corinthian_ Vessel, to go back again, where he got an inkling among the Ships Crew of a Conspiracy to take away his Life. He Discours’d the Mariners about it, and came in the end to this Composition; that if he would cast himself presently into the Sea, and let the Conspirators have his Mony, there should be no further Violence offer’d to his Person. Upon this Agreement he obtain’d Liberty to give them only one Song before he Leap’d Overbord; which he did, and then Plung’d into the Sea. The Seamen had no thought of his ever coming up again; but by a wonderful Providence, a _Dolphin_ took him upon his Back, and carried him off safe to an Island, from whence he went immediately to _Corinth_, and presented himself before _Periander_, just in the condition the _Dolphin_ left him, and so told the Story. The King ordered him to be taken into Custody as an _Impostor_; but at the same time caused Enquiry to be made after the Ship, and the Seamen that he spake of, and to know if they had heard any thing of one _Arion_ where they had been? They said Yes, and that he was a Man of Great Reputation in _Italy_, and of a Vast Estate. Upon these Words, _Arion_ was Produced before them, with the very Harp and Cloaths he had when he Leapt into the Sea. The Men were so confounded at the Spectacle, that they had not the Face to deny the Truth of the Story.

The MORAL.

_Mony is the Universal Idol. Profit Governs the World, and_ Quid Dabitis & Tradam _may be the Motto: But Providence yet in the Conclusion makes all things work for the Best_.

REFLEXION.

Some Men are Worse then some Brutes, and little less then Beasts in the shape of Reasonable Creatures. This Fable shews us, that Men of Bloud will stick at no Profitable Villany, but they are Blind, Deaf, and Inexorable where Mony’s in the case. The Charms of Reason, Art, and Innocence, are Lost upon ’em, and the Sea it self we see, had more Pity for _Arion_ then the Men. The _Dolphin_ represents the Instrument of an Over-ruling Providence that interposes Miraculously to our Deliverance, when ordinary Means fail us. The Wonderful Discovery in the Conclusion, serves to shew us that _Murder will out_.

FAB. CCCLXXXIII.

A _Spider_ and the _Gout_.

A _Spider_ that had been at Work a Spinning, went Abroad once for a little Country Air to Refresh her self, and fell into Company with the _Gout_, that (by the way) had much ado to keep Pace with her. When they came at Night to take up their Lodging, very inquisitive they were into the Character and Condition of their Host: But the _Spider_ without any more Ceremony, went into the House of a Rich Burgher, and fell presently to her Net-work of Drawing Cobwebs up and down from one side of the Room to the other; but there were so many Brooms, and Devillish House-wenches still at hand, that whatever she set up this Moment, was swept away the next: So that this miserable _Insect_ was the only Creature within those Walls that felt either Want or Trouble. But the _Gout_ all this while, was fain to Kennel in the very _Rendezvous_ of common Beggars, where she was as uneasie, as Hard Lodging, Course Bread, and Puddle-Water could make her. After a tedious and a restless Night on’t, they met again next Morning by Sun Rise, and gave one another the History of their Adventure. The _Spider_ tells first how Barbarously she had been us’d; how cursedly Nice and Cleanly the Master of the House was; how impertinently Diligent his Servants were, _&c._ And then the _Gout_ Requited the _Spider_ with the Story of her Mortifications too. They were in short so unsatisfied with their Treatment, that they resolved to take quite contrary Measures the next Night; The _Spider_ to get into a Cottage, and the _Gout_ to look out for a Palace. They did what they Propos’d, and never were Creatures better pleas’d with their Entertainment. The _Gout_ had her Rich Furniture, Down-Beds, _Beccasica_’s, Pheasants, Partridges, Generous Wines; the best in fine, of every thing that was to be had for Mony, and all with _Pure Heart and Good will_ as we say. The _Spider_ was as much at Ease on the other hand; for she was got into a House where she might draw her Lines, Work, Spin, Mend what was Amiss, Perfect what she had Begun, and no Brooms, Snares or Plots to Interrupt or disturb her. The Two Travellers after this met once again, and upon conferring Notes, they were both so well satisfied, that the _Gout_ took up a Resolution for ever after to keep Company with the Rich, the Noble, and the Voluptuous; and the _Spider_ with the Poor and Needy. What Wise Man I say, upon these Terms; would not rather take up his Lodging with the _Spider_ in the Fable here, then with the _Gout_?

The MORAL.

_An Industrious Poverty in a Cell, with Quiet Thoughts, and Sound Sleeps, is infinitely to be Prefer’d before a Lazy Life of Pomp and Pleasure: For Courts are but Nurseries of Diseases and Cares._

REFLEXION.

One may be very Uneasie with a Plentiful Fortune, and as Happy in a Mean Condition; for ’tis the Mind that makes us either the one or the other. A Luxurious Court is the Nursery of Diseases; it Breeds ’em, it Encourages, Nourishes and Entertains them. A Plain, an Honest, and a Temperate Industry, contents it self with a little; and who would not rather Sleep Quietly upon a _Hammock_, without either Cares in his Head, or Crudities in his Stomach, then lye Carking upon a Bed of State, with the Qualms and Twinges that accompany Surfeits and Excess?

A SUPPLEMENT OF FABLES, OUT OF

_Phædrus_, _Avienus_, _Camerarius_, _Neveletus_, _Apththonius_, _Gabrias_, _Babrias_, _Abstemius_, _Alciatus_, _Boccalini_, _Baudoin_, _De la Fontaine_, _Æsope en Belle Humeur_, _Meslier_, &c.

FAB. CCCLXXXIV.

A _Lamb_, a _Wolf_ and a _Goat_.

A _Wolf_ overheard a _Lamb_ Bleating among the _Goats_. D’ye hear Little One, (says the _Wolf_,) if it be your Dam you want, she’s yonder in the Field. Ay (says the _Lamb_,) but I am not looking for her that was my Mother for her _Own_ sake, but for her that Nurses me up, and Suckles me out of _Pure Charity_, and _Good Nature_. Can any thing be Dearer to you, says the _Wolf_, then she that brought you forth? Very Right, says the _Lamb_; and without knowing or caring what she did: And pray what did she bring me forth _for_ too, but to Ease her self of a _Burden_, and to deliver me out of her own Belly, into the Hands of the _Butcher_? I am more Beholden to her that took Pity of me when I was in the World already, then to her that brought me into’t, I know not how. ’Tis _Charity_, not _Nature_, or _Necessity_ that does the Office of a _Tender Mother_.

The MORAL.

_There’s a difference betwixt Reverence and Affection; the one goes to the Character, and the other to the Person, and so distinguishes Duty from Inclination. Our Mothers brought us into the World; a Stranger takes us up, and Preserves us in’t. So that here’s both a Friend and a Parent in the case, and the Obligation of the one, must not destroy the Respect I owe to the other; nor the Respect the Obligation: And none but an Enemy will advise us to quit either._

REFLEXION.

Men are not so sensible of Laws and Duty, as they are of Kindness and Good Nature; beside, that the _Wolf_s Pretence or Care for the Poor _Lamb_, was a Charity that began at Home.

There is an _Affection_ of _Nature_, and that which we call a _Filial Duty_; and there is an _Affection_ that is grounded upon the Moral Considerations of _Benevolence_ and _Friendship_. In the one, we lye under an Obligation of Reverence and Respect to a Parent, be the Father or Mother what they will; in the other, we pay a Regard to _Civil Acknowledgements_ and _Virtue_. Nature, and the Principles of Nature must be kept Sacred; but Men cannot Love to what degree, or whom, or what they please: So that in many Cases, we pay a _Veneration_ upon _One_ Score, and an _Affection_ upon _Another_; and this Fable does very well distinguish the _Gratitude_ from the _Respect_. The _Wolf_’s Preaching to the _Lamb_, is no Ill Emblem of a _Scandalous Minister_, that _Discredits_ a very _Good Sermon_ with an _Ill Life_, and gives the Lie to his _Doctrin_, in his _Practice_. The _Wolf_ took the same Care of the _Lamb_, that the _Keepers of our Liberties_ in former days did of the Innocent People of _England_. They pretended to put us out of Harms way from others, that they might Devour us themselves.

FAB. CCCLXXXV.

_Jupiter’s Altar_ Robb’d.

A _Thief_ Kindled his Torch at _Jupiter_’s Altar, and then Robb’d the Temple by the Light on’t. As he was Packing away with his Sacrilegious Burden, a Voice, either of Heaven, or of Conscience, Pursu’d him. The Time will come (says that Voice) when this Impious Villany of Yours shall cost ye Dear; not for the Value of what you have Stoll’n, but for the Contempt of Heaven and Religion, that you ought to have a Veneration for. _Jupiter_ has taken care however to prevent these Insolent Affronts for the Time to come, by an Express Prohibition of any Communication for the future, betwixt the Fire upon _his Altars_, and that of _Common Use_.

The MORAL.

_Nothing more Familiar then to cover Sacrilege, Murder, Treason_, &c. _with a Text. And we are also to learn from hence, that we have no greater Enemies many times, then those we have Nurs’d and Bred up; and that Divine Vengeance comes sure at Last, though it may be long first._

REFLEXION.

The Kindling of a Torch at the Altar, and then Robbing the Church by the Light on’t, is an Old Invention contriv’d betwixt the World, the Flesh and the Devil; and will never be out of Date, so long as we hold any Intelligence with the Common Enemies of Mankind. There’s nothing cuts Religion, like Religion it self: Texts are put up against Texts, and one Scripture made to fight against another; insomuch, that the Rule of Faith is Perverted into a Doctrin of Heresie and Schism; and the Gospel of Peace is made a Voucher for Sedition and Rebellion. There’s nothing commoner then to cite Holy Writ for the Overturning of Religion, and to Over-rule one Divine Authority with another; nay, and when all is done, to Justifie the Sacrilege of Seizing and Employing the Revenues of the Church to Prophane Uses. And whence comes this Confusion and Self-Contradiction all this while? but that the Manage of Holy Matters falls many times into the Hands of Men of more Polite Curiosity and Skill, then Evangelical Zeal and Affection. The School-men have spun the Thread too fine, and made _Christianity_ look liker a Course of _Philosophy_, then a _System_ of _Faith_ and _Supernatural Revelation_: So that the Spirit of it Evaporates into Niceties and Exercises of the Brain; and the Contention is not for Truth, but Victory. The whole Business in fine, is sour’d into Altercation and Cavil; but all must be Remitted to the Judgment of the Great Day, when every Man shall receive according to his Works: And Wo be then to the _Church Robbers_ that shall be found among them that serve at the _Altar_. But ’tis no New Thing for Men that call themselves _Professors_ and _Disciples_, to _Sell_ and to _Betray_ their _Lord and Master_; For Men that wear the Livery of the Church, and Eat the Bread on’t, to offer Sacrilegious Violence to their Holy Mother. And this is the case of _Jupiter’s Altar Robb’d_ by the Light of his own Torch: When the House of God is Rifl’d and Dishonour’d by his own Domesticks; that is to say, when the Sacrilege is Countenanc’d by the Authority of a Holy Character, and the Violence supported by a Text.

FAB. CCCLXXXVI.

The _Crows_ and the _Pigeons_.

There happen’d a Suit in Law betwixt the Two Families of the _Crows_ and the _Pigeons_; but for Quietness sake, they agreed upon an Order of Reference, and the _Kite_ was to be _Arbitrator_. The Cause was Heard, and Judgment given for the _Crows_.

The MORAL.

Ask my Brother if I’m a Thief. _One Criminal upon the Bench, will be sure to bring off another at the Barr._

REFLEXION.

Innocency is almost sure to be worsted, wherever it may be Abus’d with Security and Advantage. _Guilty or not Guilty_, is not so much the Point in the Case here of the _Crows_ and the _Pigeons_; for the matter in question, is the _Person_ or _Party_, not the _Fact_. The One’s in the Plot, let him be never so Innocent; and the other is as white as the Driven Snow, let him be never so Criminal. There are _Cabals_, _Ignoramus_’s, _False Witnesses_, among _Men_, as well as among _Birds_, with all the Pompous Formalities of Countenancing Fraud and Corruption, with the Sacred Name of _Justice_. Set a _Kite_ upon the _Bench_, and ’tis Forty to one he’ll bring off a _Crow_ at the _Barr_. Briefly, there is nothing more in the Iniquity of this Fiction, then what we see every day made good in common Business and Practice. ’Tis but dressing up a _Bird of Prey_ in his _Cap and Furs_, to make a Judge of him; and so for a _Knight of the Post_, ’tis but dubbing him with the Title of a _King’s Evidence_, and the Work is done: For in these Cases, _Judge_, _Jury_, and _Witnesses_ are all of a Piece.

FAB. CCCLXXXVII.

A _Gard’ner_ and his _Landlord_.

A Man that had made himself a very Fine Garden, was so Pester’d with a _Hare_ among his Roots, his Plants, and his Flowers, that away goes he immediately to his Landlord, (a great Huntsman it seems,) and tells him a Lamentable Story of the Havock that this poor _Hare_ had made in his Grounds. The Gentleman takes Pity of his Tenant, and early the next Morning goes over to him with all his People and his Dogs about him: They call in the First Place for Breakfast, Eat up his Victuals, Drink him Dry, and Kiss his Pretty Daughter into the Bargain. So soon as they have done all the Mischief they can within Doors, out they march into the Gardens to Beat for the _Hare_: And there down with the Hedges; the Garden-Stuff goes all to Wreck, and not so much as a Leaf scapes ’em toward the Picking of a Sallad. Well, (says the _Gard’ner_) this is the way of the World, when the Poor sue for Relief to the Great. My Noble Friend here has done me more Damage in the Civility and Respect of these Two Hours, then the uttermost Spite of the _Hare_ could have done me in twice as many Ages.

The MORAL.

_Appeals are Dangerous from the Weaker to the Stronger, where the Remedy proves many times worse then the Disease._

REFLEXION.

He that finds himself Uneasie, and proposes to mend his Condition in what case or in what manner soever, should do well to sit down and Compute within himself; _What do I suffer by this Grievance? Can I Remove it or no? What will it Cost me? Shall I get or Lose by the Change? Will it be worth my while, or not?_ Now this is all matter of Course in our ordinary Dealings upon the Truck, and in common Bargains; and yet where the Peace and Liberty of the Mind, or the Character of a Wise or a Good Man lyes at Stake, we take up Resolutions Hand over Head, without Calculating upon the Profit or Loss of the Thing in Question; as in the Instance of the Poor _Gard’ner_ here. He might have Treated a Brace of _Hares_ sure, much Cheaper that a _Troup_ of _Horsemen_, with so many Packs of _Dogs_, and such a Gang of _Ruffians_ at the Heels of ’em. Had not he better have born _Wat_’s Nibling of his Plants and Roots now, then the Huntsman’s Fooling with his Daughter, and the Eating him out of House and Home? The Breaking down of his Fences; the Laying of his Garden Wast, and taking his Childrens Meat out of their Mouths, over and above? But all this Befel him for want of Deliberating beforehand, and setting one thing against another. Now if the Allusion of this Fable be so Instructive to us, and so necessary to be well attended and apply’d, even in the common Affairs and Dealings of this World, what shall that Man say for himself, that’s Guilty of the same Temerity and Imprudence over and over, in the case of _Temporal_ and _Eternal_! Is it that we do not Believe the Doctrin of a Future State, or that we do not think on’t; or (which is worst of all,) that we do not Mind it? For we Live as if we were more sensible of the Hares, then of the Devils.

FAB. CCCLXXXVIII.

_Jupiter_’s Two _Wallets_.

When _Jupiter_ made Man, he gave him _Two Satchels_; one for his _Neighbours Faults_, t’other for his _Own_. These Bags he threw over his Shoulders, and the Former he carried Before him, the Other Behind. So that this Fashion came up a great while ago it seems, and it has continu’d in the World ever since.

The MORAL.

_Every Man living is partial in his own Case; but it is the Humour of Mankind to have our Neighbours Faults always in our Eye, and to cast our own over our Shoulders, out of sight._

REFLEXION.

That which _Jupiter_ does in the _Fable_, _Nature_ does in the _Life_. We are here admonish’d of a Double Fault; want of Charity and Justice toward others, and want of a Christian Scrutiny and Examination into our Selves: So that here’s the Sin of Detraction in making other People worse then they are, and the Sin of Pride and Hypocrisie, in Boasting our Selves to be better. It were well if we could Place our _Transgressions_ out of the Ken, as well of our _Consciences_ as of our _Eyes_: But these are only Amusements to put off the Evil Day a little longer, that will certainly overtake us at last. The _Mythologist_ does well enough however; in Assigning that to _Jupiter_, which we our selves are but too prone to do, upon a Propension of _Nature_; that is to say, of Nature corrupted; for there is both a Sin and a Frailty in’t, to be over Censorious of our Neighbours, and as Partial to our selves.

_Out of Sight, Out of Mind_, they say; and at this rate one Fault is made use of to excuse another. We do not _Repent_, because we do not _Think_ on’t; and so the Neglect is made an Excuse for the Impenitence. We live like Spendthrifts, that know themselves to be desperately in Debt, and dare not look into their Accounts to see how the Reckoning stands. Nay ’tis the Case of too many of us, that we keep no Books neither; or at the Best, do not know where to find them. Self-Love is still attended with a Contempt of others, and a Common Mistake of Matters at Home as well as Abroad; For we keep Registers of our Neighbours Faults, and none of their Good Deeds; and no Memorials all this while, of what we do amiss our Selves. But [_I am not as this Publican_] is the very Top of our Righteousness.

Thus goes the World, and a lewd Practice it is, for one Man to value himself upon the Wickedness of another: But the Worst of all is yet behind; that is to say, to think our selves safe, so long as we keep our Iniquities from the Knowledge of Men, and out of our own View and Memory, without any Awe of that Justice that never Sleeps, and of that All-seeing Eye and Wisdom that Observes all our Mis-doings, and has them perpetually in his Sight.

FAB. CCCLXXXIX.

A _King_ and a _Rich Subject_.

A Certain Prince that had a very wealthy overgrown Subject, found it convenient to make a Traitor of him, provided it could but handsomly be brought about: So the Man was taken into Custody, and the _King_’s _Evidence_ produced against him for _Consults_ at this Place, and at that, against the Life of the King, and the Peace of the Government; and for Receiving, Comforting, and Abetting the Enemies of the Crown. The Man had the Character of a very Loyal Person, and People were almost at their Wits end, to hear of so horrid an Accusation against him. But the Witnesses Swore Home, and one of them Extremely Positive, that if his House at that very Instant were but narrowly Search’d for Men and Arms, they would find such a Provision, that the Modern Discoveries at _Tichbourn_ and _Flixham_, were Nothing to’t. The pretended Criminal began now to Moralize upon the Story, and so away goes he to His Majesty; casts himself at his Feet, and promises that if he might but have as Ample a Pardon as other Witnesses to _Consults_ have had before him, he would shew him the very Bottom of the Plot. I cannot deny, says he, but I have a great many of the Enemies of your Royal Crown and Dignity at this time Conceal’d in my House; and if your Majesty shall be pleased to appoint any Person to make Seizure of them, they shall be immediately Delivered up. So the Prince Order’d a Squadron of his Guards, and a Trusty Officer in the Head of ’em, to go along with him. The Gentleman led them very Frankly to his Coffers, and shew’d them his Treasure. These are the Traytors, says he, that you are to take care of, and pray be pleas’d to _see that they may be kept in safe Custody till they shall be Deliver’d by Due Course of Law_.

The MORAL.

_We may gather from hence, that Riches are many times but a Snare to us; and that Money makes many a Man a Traitor: But if a Body will Compound at last with his Estate to save his Life, when he has nothing left him, he may be at Rest. For a Certificate of Poverty is as good as a Protection._

REFLEXION.

The Story of _Ahab_ and _Naboth_ comes directly to the Point of this Fable; that is to say, as the King and Subject, with the Iniquity of the Subornation and Practice: Only the one was a Poor Subject, and the other a Rich, which does not one jot alter the Morality of the Case. The Old Saying, that [_Money does all things_] is not much wide of the Truth; for it gives, and it takes away, it makes Honest Men and Knaves, Fools and Philosophers; and so forward _Mutatis Mutandis_, to the End of the Chapter. There’s not any Corruption in Nature, but Money is at one end on’t; The whole World is under the Dominion of it; for all things under the Sun are Bought and Sold. But as it gives Men Reputation, so it brings People into Snares and Dangers too; It exposes them to Factions, Robbers, Cheats, Knights of the Post, and the like: It fills their Heads and their Hearts with Cares and Disquiets. And what at last are all the Baggs and Possessions that Rich Men take so much Pride and Pleasure in, but Spunges Deposited in their own Hands, till there shall be occasion to squeeze them for the Publick Use!

FAB. CCCXC.

A _Merchant_ and a _Seaman_.

A _Merchant_ at Sea was asking the _Ships-Master_, What Death his Father Dy’d? He told him that his Father, his Grandfather, and his Great Grandfather were all Drown’d. Well, says the _Merchant_, and are not you your self afraid of being Drown’d too? No, not I, says the _Skipper_. But Pray, says t’other again, What Death did _Your_ Father, Grandfather, and Great Grandfather Dye? Why they Dy’d all in their Beds, says the _Merchant_. Very good, says the _Skipper_, and why should I be any more afraid of going to _Sea_, then you are of going to _Bed_?

The MORAL.

_He that troubles his Head with drawing Consequences from meer Contingencies, shall never be at Rest: And this is further to mind us, that in an Honest Course of Life, we are not to fear Death._

REFLEXION.