Chapter V: Usurers and Curryers., 392 (8)

A _Physician_ Undertakes a Woman with Sore Eyes, upon the Terms of _No Cure No Mony_. His Way was to Dawb ’em quite up with Oyntments, and while she was in that Pickle, to carry off a Spoon or a Porringer, or Somewhat or Other, at the End of his Visit. The Woman’s Eyes Mended, and still as she came More and More to her self again, there was Every Day less and less left in the House to be seen. The _Doctor_ came to her at last, and told her; Mistress, says he, I have Discharg’d my Part, Your Eyes are perfectly Well again, and pray let me be Paid now according to Our Agreement. Alas, Sir, says she, I’m a Great deal Worse then I was the First Minute you Undertook me; for I could see Plate, Hangings, Paintings, and Other Goods of Value about my House, ’till You had the Ordering of me; but I am now brought to such a Pass, that I can see nothing at all.

The MORAL.

_There are Few Good Offices done for Other People, which the Benefactor does not hope to be the Better for Himself._

REFLEXION.

This Fancy is Half Knavery, Half Humour, and the Doctor’s Part in’t is no more then according to the Common Practice of the World, in Law, as well as in Physick, when People make the Remedy Worse then the Disease; as when a Man spends the Fee Simple of an Estate in a Contest for the Title. The Barber that Pick’d the Gentleman’s Pocket while he was Washing of his Face, Wrote after this Copy. The Moral holds forth This Matter of Advice to us, not to Contract any Obligations Rashly; for Good Offices in course are rather Baits, and Snares, then Benefits; and there are some Certain People, that a Sober Man would not Venture the being Beholden to. The Poor Woman here, had her Jest for her Houshold-Stuff; and the Vain Satisfaction of paying her Physician with a Conceit for his Money. It Minds me of the Orator that was to Teach a Young Man Rhetorick, on Condition of Double Pay upon the Perfecting of him in his Profession, and not a Penny before; The Master follow’d his Scholar Close, and came to him at last for his Money, according to the Bargain; The Young Fellow begg’d him over and over to Forbear it a while, but could not Prevail. He told him Then, that there was nothing Due to him; for if Rhetorick be (as you say) the Art or Power of Persuasion; and if I cannot prevail with you to forbear your Money, I am not Master of my Trade yet. This was the Woman’s Way of Reasoning with the Physician. The Doctor would have his Money for the Curing of her Eyes, and the Woman shuffl’d it off that she was not Cur’d, for she could see nothing at all, which was One Fallacy upon Another.

FAB. CXV.

A _Cat_ and _Mice_.

There was a House mightily troubl’d with _Mice_, and a Notable _Cat_ there was, that Time after Time had Pick’d up so Many of ’em, that they agreed among themselves to keep above in the Cieling; for they found that upon the Plain Floor there was No Living for ’em. This spoil’d _Puss’s_ Sport, unless she could find a way to Trepan them Down again. So she Leapt up to a Pin that was driven into the Wall, and there hung like a Pole-Cat in a Warren, to Amuse them. The _Mice_ took Notice of it, and One Wiser then the rest Stretch’d out his Neck to learn the Truth of the Matter, and so soon as ever he found how ’twas. Ah, says he, You may Hang there till Your Heart Akes; for if you were but a Dish-Clout, as you are a Counterfeiting-Devil of a _Cat_, here’s not a Creature will come Near ye.

The MORAL.

_Let no Man lay himself at the Mercy of a known Enemy under any Shew, or Pretence Whatsoever; for he forfeits his Discretion, even though he should happen to Save his Carcass, and his Fortune._

REFLEXION.

What we cannot Compass by Force, must be brought about by Invention, and Address, but then on the Other hand, in All Cases of Hazzard, Things would be well Weigh’d and Examin’d before we Trust. This Fable is the Fiction of a Case not Altogether Incredible. ’Tis a Common Thing for an Old Jade to Counterfeit Lame, for fear of Hard Riding: For a Duck to run Flapping and Fluttering away, as if she were Maim’d, to carry People from her Young: as there’s a Story of a _Fox_ that was Hard Hunted, and Hung himself up by the Teeth in a Warren among the Vermin to put the Dogs to a Loss. Without any more Words, Twenty Instances might be given to shew how near That which we call Impulse, or Instinct, comes to Reason: For the _Cats Policy_ was no Other in truth, then That we call _Sleeping Dog-Sleep_: And there was the very same Fore-thought, and Design in’t too, which in a Construction of Law and Equity passes for _Malice Prepense_.

FAB. CXVI.

An _Ape_ and a _Fox_.

Upon the Decease of a _Lyon_ of Late Famous Memory, the Beasts Met in Council to Chuse a King. There were Several Put up; but One was not of a Make for a _King_, Another Wanted either Brains, or Strength, or Stature, or Humour, or something else; but in fine, the _Buffoon-Ape_ with his Grimaces and Gamboles, carry’d it from the Whole Field by I know not how many Voices. The _Fox_ (being one of the Pretenders) Stomach’d it Extreamly to see the Choice go against him, and presently Rounds the _New-Elect_ in the Ear, with a piece of Secret Service that he could do him. Sir, says he, I have Discover’d some Hidden Treasure Yonder: But ’tis a Royalty that belongs to Your Majesty, and I have nothing to do with it. So he Carry’d the _Ape_ to take Possession: And what should This Treasure be, but a Bait in a Ditch. The _Ape_ layes his Hand upon’t, and the Trap springs and Catches him by the Fingers. _Ah Thou Perfidious Wretch_, cries the _Ape_! Or thou simple Prince, rather, replies the _Fox_. You a Governour of Others, with a Vengeance, that han’t Wit enough to look to your own Fingers.

The MORAL.

_Governours should be Men of Business rather then Pleasure. There’s One Great Folly in Making an Ill Choice of a Ruler, and Another in the Acceptance of it; for it Exposes Authority to Scorn._

REFLEXION.

Rashness, and Want of Consideration, is ever Unfortunate. Men should not take a Charge upon them that they are not Fit for; as if Singing, Dancing, and Shewing of Tricks, were Qualifications for a Governor. _Baudoin_ says, that this Fable, shews not only the Envy and Malignity of the _Fox_; but the Imprudence of the Electors in the Choice of Ministers and Officers, that are not made for Bus’ness. Here’s first an _Ape_ made a King, for shewing Tricks, and making Fools Faces: And the _Fox_ is then to put a Slur upon him, in Exposing him for Sport, to the Scorn of the People.

Here’s an _Ape_ chosen _King_, in Succession to a _Lyon_; which stands for a Short, and a Plain Representation of the Best and the Worst of Governments under the Dignity of the One, and the Indignity of the Other. It sets forth the Case and Unhappiness of _Elective Kingdoms_, where Canvassing and Faction has commonly too great a hand in the Election. Nor is there any Wonder, to see Drolls and Tumblers Advanc’d to Charges of Honor and Profit, where Ignorance and Popularity sways the Choice: And nothing so fit as an _Ape_, for a Commission of State, where a Gambole, or a Grimace, passes for a Qualifying Title to the Exercise of Power.

It is no Wonder again, where People are so Mistaken in the Faculties and Capacities of Government, that they depart also from the Veneration that’s due to’t; and when the Main Ends of it shall come to be Disappointed. For every _Jack-Pudding_ with _Æsop’s Fox_ here, will be Ridiculing Palpable Weaknesses, and Exposing those (almost Sacred) Imperfections, and Defects which they ought to Cover. What’s a Character of Honor upon the Shoulders of a Man that has neither a Soul Answerable to’t, nor a True Sense of the Dignity, but a Mark set up for every Common Fool to shoot his Bolt at! When _Apes_ are in _Power_, there will never want _Foxes_ to _Play_ upon them.

FAB. CXVII.

A _Smith_ and his _Dog_.

A _Blacksmith_ took Notice of a _Cur_ he had, that would be perpetually Sleeping, so long as his Master was at his Hammer; but whenever he went to Dinner, the _Dog_ would be sure to make One. So he Ask’d the _Dog_ the Reason on’t. What’s the Meaning of it, says he, that so long as I’m at the Forge, you are still taking your Nap; but so soon as my Chops begin to Walk, yours must be Walking too for Company? There’s a Time to Sleep (says the _Dog_) and a Time to Wake; and Every thing is Well done that is done in Due Season.

The MORAL.

_All Creatures do Naturally look to the Main Chance; that is to say, the Bus’ness of Food and Propagation._

REFLEXION.

That which Men do by Reason, Beasts do by Instinct. There’s No Living without Food and Rest; and Nature appoints the Season, both for the One, and for the Other. A _Dog_ Wakes to his Dinner, as a Man that’s to Travel next day, does for his Journey, and his Bus’ness. He lies down to Sleep with the Hour in’s Head, and when the Time comes, he needs neither Clock nor Cock to call him. Custom puts Nature into a Method of Expecting, and Attending all the Offices of Life at such and such Certain Hours and Seasons, as we are us’d to: And there needed no more then This, to make the _Master’s Dining Time_, the _Dog’s Waking Time_.

FAB. CXVIII.

A _Boasting Mule_.

There was a _Favourite Mule_, that was High Fed, and in the Pride of Flesh and Mettle, would still be Bragging of his Family, and his Ancestors. My Father (says he) was a Courser, and though I say it that should not say’t, I my self take after him. He had no sooner spoke the Words, but he was put to the Tryal of his Heels, and did not only shew himself a Jade; but in the very Heat of his Ostentation, his Father fell a Braying, which Minded him of his Original, and the Whole Field made Sport on’t, when they found him to be the Son of an _Ass_.

The MORAL.

_A Bragging Fool that’s Rais’d out of a Dunghill, and sets up for a Man of Quality, is Ashamed of Nothing in This World but of his Own Father._

REFLEXION.

This touches the Case of Those Mean Upstarts, that when they come once to be preferr’d, forget their Fathers, and have not the Wit to Consider, how soon Fortune may set them Down again where she took ’em up; but yet at last, when they come to be minded of their Original, it makes many a Proud Fool sensible of a Scandalous Extraction, that has no Shame at all for a Scandalous Life.

’Tis hardly safe to Descant upon a _Boasting Mule_, in a _Fable_, when there are so many of his Brethren in the World, that will Take it to Themselves. Nay, and Over and Above the Self-conceited Vanity of These Brutes, there are none so forward neither, to Bespatter Men of Bloud and Quality, as those that have most Reason to be Asham’d of their Descent. This Pride of Pedigree is Easily run down, if there be not Power Joyn’d to the Ostentation: But where there is Authority given to the Folly, as well as to the Fool, the Indignation that it raises makes the Insolence Insupportable. Nothing Dash’d the Confidence of the Mule like the Braying of the Ass in the very Interim, while he was Dilating upon his Genealogy. As who should say, _Remember your Father, Sirrah_. This comes to the Case of a _Spaniard_, that was Wonderfully upon the Huff about his Extraction, and would needs Prove himself of such a Family by the Spelling of his Name; a Cavalier in the Company, with whom he had the Controversy, very Civilly yielded him the Point; for (says he) I have Examin’d the Records of a certain House of Correction, and I find your Grandfather was Whipt there by That Name. We have in fine a World of _Boasting Mules_ among us, that don’t care for being Minded of their _Braying Fathers_: But ’tis the Fate of These Vain-Glorious Fops to be Thus Met withal, and your Counterfeit Men of Honor seldom Come off better; Wherefore let every Man look well about him before he boasts of his Pedigree, to make sure that there be not an _Asse_ in the Family.

FAB. CXIX.

A _Dog_ and a _Wolf_.

A _Wolf_ took a _Dog_ napping at his Master’s Door, and when he was Just about to Worry him, the Poor Creature beg’d hard only for a Reprieve. Alas (says he) I’m as Lean at present as Carrion; but we have a Wedding at our House within these Two or Three Days, that will Plump me up you shall see with Good Chear. Pray have but Patience till Then, and when I’m in a Little Better Case, I’ll throw my self in the very Mouth of ye. The _Wolf_ took his Word, and so let him go; but passing some Few Days after by the same House again, he spy’d the _Dog_ in the _Hall_, and bad him Remember his Promise. Heark ye, my Friend, says the _Dog_; Whenever you Catch me Asleep again, on the Wrong side of the Door, never Trouble your Head to Wait for a Wedding.

The MORAL.

_Experience Works upon many Brutes more than upon Some Men. They are not to be Gull’d twice with the same Trick; And at the Worst, a Bad Shift is Better than None._

REFLEXION.

’Tis good to Provide against All Chances both Sleeping and Waking; for a Man cannot be too Circumspect, upon Condition on the other hand, that his Caution do not make him Over-sollicitous. Past Dangers make us Wiser for the Future; As the _Dog_, after he had been snapt at the Door, had the Wit to lie in the Hall; which tells us that a Wise Body is not to be Caught Twice by the same Snare and Trick. His Promise to the _Wolf_ was a kind of a _Dog-Case of Conscience_, and the _Wolf_ play’d the Fool in Taking his Word, for That which he was not obliged to Perform.

FAB. CXX.

A _Lyon_ and a _Bull_.

In the Days of Yore, when _Bulls_ liv’d upon _Mutton_, there was a _Lyon_ had a Design upon a Mighty _Bull_, and gave him a very Civil Invitation to come and Sup with him; for, says he, I have gotten a _Sheep_, and you must needs take Part on’t. The _Bull_ Promis’d, and Went; but so soon as ever he saw what a Clutter there was with Huge, Over-grown Pots, Pans, and Spits, away he scowr’d Immediately. The _Lyon_ presently call’d after him, and Ask’d him, _Whither in such Haste?_ Oh, says the _Bull_, ’tis High Time for me to be Jogging, when I see such Preparation: for this Provision looks as if you were to have a _Bull_ for your Supper, rather then a _Mutton_.

The MORAL.

_When a Man has both an Interest and an Inclination to Betray us, there’s No Trusting him._

REFLEXION.

There’s No Trusting to the Fair Words and Countenances of Bloudy Men: He’s sure to be Ruin’d that lays himself at the Mercy of those that Live upon the Spoil. Their very Complements are Snares; as the _Lyon’s_ Invitation of the _Bull_ to Sup with him, was but the Cover of a Design he had to Sup upon the _Bull_ himself.

FAB. CXXI.

A _Lyon_ in _Love_.

A _Lyon_ in Love with a Country Lass, and desir’d her Father’s Consent to have her in Marriage. The Answer he gave was Churlish enough. He’d never Agree to’t he said, upon any Terms, to marry his Daughter to a Beast. The _Lyon_ gave him a Sour Look upon’t, which brought the Bumkin, upon Second Thoughts, to strike up a Bargain with him, upon these Conditions: that his Teeth should be Drawn, and his Nails Par’d; for Those were Things, he said, that the Foolish Girl was Terribly afraid of. The _Lyon_ sends for a Surgeon immediately to do the Work; (as what will not Love make a Body do?) And so soon as ever the Operation was Over, he goes and Challenges the Father upon his Promise. The Countryman seeing the _Lyon_ Disarm’d, Pluck’d up a Good Heart, and with a Swinging Cudgel so order’d the Matter, that he brake off the Match.

The MORAL.

_An Extravagant Love, consults neither Life, Fortune, nor Reputation, but Sacrifices All that can be Dear to a Man of Sense and Honour, to the Transports of an Inconsiderate Passion._

REFLEXION.

This Fable will look well enough in the Moral, how Fantastical soever it may appear at first Blush, in the Lines and Traces of it. Here’s a _Beast_ in Love with a _Virgin_; which is but a Reverse of the Preposterous Passions we meet with Frequently in the World, when Reasonable Creatures of Both Sexes fall in love with Those, that in the Allusion may (almost without a Figure) pass for Beasts. There’s Nothing so Fierce, or so Savage, but Love will Soften it; Nothing so Generous, but it will Debauch it; Nothing so sharp-sighted in Other Matters, but it throws a Mist before the Eyes on’t. It puts the Philosopher beside his _Latin_; and to sum up All in a Little, where This Passion Domineers, neither Honour, nor Virtue, is able to stand before it. The _Lyons_ parting with his _Teeth_, and his _Clawes_, in a Complement to his New Mistress, is no more then what we see Every Day Exemplify’d in the Case of making over Estates and Joyntures, with the Malice Prepense all this While of holding their Noses to the Grindstone, and with the Girls Father here, of Jilting them at last.

FAB. CXXII.

A _Lyoness_ and a _Fox_.

A Numerous Issue passes in the World for a Blessing; and This Consideration made a _Fox_ cast it in the Teeth of a _Lyoness_, that she brought forth but One Whelp at a time. Very Right, says the Other, but then That _One_ is a _Lyon_.

The MORAL.

_’Tis a Common Thing to value things more by the Number, then by the Excellency of them._

REFLEXION.

There are more Fools in the World then Wise Men, and more Knaves then Honest Men; so that it is not Number, but Excellency, that Inhances the Value of Any thing. The most copious Writers are commonly the Arrantest Scriblers; and in so much Talking, the Tongue is apt to run before the Wit: _In Many Words there is Folly, but a Word in Season is like Apples of Gold in Pictures of Silver_: Says the Oracle of Truth it self. And we have it from the same Authority, that our very _Prayers_, when they are Loud and Long, are in the Sight of Heaven no better then so much _Babbling_; and that they have more in them of Hypocrisy and Ostentation, then of Affection and Judgment. The Great Creator of the Universe, whose single _FIAT_ was sufficient to have made Ten Thousand Worlds in the Twinkling of an Eye, Allowed himself Six Days yet for the Finishing of his Purpose: Paus’d upon Every Days Work, Consider’d of it, Review’d it, and Pronounc’d it _Good_, and so Proceeded. Right Reason Moves, in some Proportion, by the same Steps and Degrees with This Inimitable Example: It Deliberates, Projects, Executes, Weighs, and Approves. Nature does Nothing in a Huddle, and Human Prudence should Govern it self by the same Measures. A Plurality of Voices, ’tis true, carries the Question in all our Debates, but rather as an Expedient for Peace, then an Eviction of the Right; for there are Millions of Errors to one Reason, and Truth; And a _Point_ is not so Easy to be Hit: In a Word, the Old Saying is a shrewd One; that _Wise Men Propose, and Fools Determine_. Take the World to pieces, and there are a thousand Sots to one Philosopher: and as many Swarms of Flyes to One Eagle. _Lyons_ do not come into the World in _Litters_.

FAB. CXXIII.

Two _Cocks_ Fighting.

Two _Cocks_ fought a Duel for the Mastery of a Dunghil. He that was Worsted, slunk away into a Corner, and Hid himself; T’other takes his Flight up to the Top of the House, and there with Crowing and Clapping of his Wings makes Proclamation of his Victory. An _Eagle_ made a Stoop at him in the Middle of his Exultation, and carry’d him away. By This Accident, the Other _Cock_ had a Good Riddance of his Rival; took Possession of the Province they Contended for, and had all his Mistresses to Himself again.

The MORAL.

_A Wise, and a Generous Enemy will make a Modest Use of a Victory; for Fortune is Variable._

REFLEXION.

This Combat of _Two Cocks_ for a _Dunghil_, may be Moraliz’d by an Application of it to the Competition of the Greatest Princes, for Empire and Dominion. For what’s the World more than a Mass of Dirt on the One hand, as to the Subject of the Quarrel; and there’s the same Thirst of Blood too, betwixt the Combatants, on the other. We have again, the Various Chance of War Exhibited on Both Sides; For ’tis with _Kings_, as with These _Cocks_. He that’s a Victor This Moment, may be a Slave the Next: And this Volubility of Human Affairs, what is it but either the Sport, or the Judgment of Providence, in the Punishment of Arrogance and Oppression! We are given finally to Understand, that as the Levity of Fortune leaves us Nothing to Trust to, or to Presume upon, so at the same Time there’s Nothing to Despair of. The _Conquering Cock_ was _Cut_ off in the very _Song_ of his _Triumph_: and the _Conquer’d_ re-instated in the Possession of his former Pretences.

FAB. CXXIV.

A _Fawn_ and a _Stag_.

A _Fawn_ was Reasoning the Matter with a _Stag_, why he should run away from the _Dogs_ still; for, says he, you are Bigger and Stronger then they. If you have a Mind to stand, y’are better Arm’d; and then y’are Fleeter if you’ll Run for’t. I can’t Imagine what should make you so Fearful of a Company of Pityful Curs. Nay, says the _Stag_, ’tis All True that you say, and ’tis no more then I say to my self Many _Times_, and yet whatever the Matter is, let me take up what Resolutions I please, when I hear the _Hounds_ once, I cannot but betake my self to my Heels.

The MORAL.

_’Tis One thing to know what we ought to do, and Another thing to Execute it; and to bring up our Practice to our Philosophy: He that is naturally a Coward is not to be made Valiant by Councel._

REFLEXION.

Natural Infirmities are well nigh Insuperable; and Men that are Cowards by Complexion, are hardly ever to be made Valiant by Discourse. But They are Conscious yet of the Scandal of that Weakness, and may make a shift perhaps to Reason themselves now and then into a kind of Temporary Resolution, which they have not the Power afterwards to go Thorough with. We find it to be much the same Case in the Government of our Affections and Appetites, that it is in These Bodily Frailties of Temperament and Complexion. Providence has Arm’d us with Powers and Faculties, sufficient for the Confounding all the Enemies we have to Encounter. We have Life and Death before us: That is to say, Good and Evil; And we know which is which too: Beside that it is at our Choice to Take or to Refuse. So that we understand what we ought to do; but when we come to Deliberate, we play Booty against our selves: And while our Judgments and our Consciences direct us One Way, our Corruptions Hurry us Another. This _Stag_, in fine, is a Thorough Emblem of the State and Infirmity of Mankind. We are Both of us Arm’d and Provided, either for the Combat, or for Flight. We see the Danger; we Ponder upon it; and now and then by Fits, take up some Faint Resolutions to Outbrave and break through it: But in the Conclusion, we shrink upon the Trial; We betake our selves from our Heads to our Heels; from Reason to Flesh and Blood; from our Strength to our Weaknesses, and suffer under One Common Fate.

FAB. CXXV.

_Jupiter_ and a _Bee_.

A _Bee_ made _Jupiter_ a Present of a Pot of Honey, which was so kindly Taken, that he bad her Ask what she would, and it should be Granted her. The _Bee_ desir’d, that wherever she should set her Sting, it might be Mortal. _Jupiter_ was loth to leave Mankind at the Mercy of a Little Spiteful Insect, and so bad her have a care how she Kill’d any Body; for what Person soever she Attacqu’d, if she left her Sting behind her, it should cost her Her Life.

The MORAL.

_Spiteful Prayers are no better then Curses in a Disguise, and the Granting of them turns commonly to the Mischief of the Petitioner._

REFLEXION.

Cruelty and Revenge are directly contrary to the very Nature of the Divine Goodness, and the Mischief that is Design’d for Other People returns commonly upon the Head of the Author.

How many Men are there in the World, that put up as Malicious Prayers in Christian Assemblies to the True God, as the _Bee_ does to _Jupiter_ here in the Fable! And Prayers too against their very Patrons and Masters; their Benefactors, that Entertain, Feed, and Protect them. Will Heaven Hear These Prayers, shall we think, (or Curses rather) and not Punish them? This _Bee_ did not Pray for a Power to Kill, without a Previous Disposition and Design to put that Venemous Power in Execution. She had Mischief in her Heart already, and only Wanted some Destructive Faculty, answerable to her Will: And so pray’d to _Jupiter_, as Men do in many Cases to the _Jehovah_, for the Blessing of an Ability to Commit Murder.

FAB. CXXVI.

_Wasps_ in a _Honey-Pot_.

There was a Whole Swarm of _Wasps_ got into a _Honey-Pot_, and there they Cloy’d and Clamm’d themselves, till there was no getting Out again; which brought them to Understand in the Conclusion, that they had paid Dear for their Sweet-Meats.

The MORAL.

_Loose Pleasures become Necessary to Us by the frequent Use of them, and when they come once to be Habitual, there’s no getting Clear again._

REFLEXION.

These _Wasps_ in a _Honey-Pot_, are so many Sensual Men that are Plung’d in their Lusts and Pleasures; and when they are once Glu’d to them, ’tis a very Hard Matter to Work themselves Out. We have an Emblem here of those Foolish Voluptuous Men, that Sacrifice the Peace, the Honour, the Comfort, and all other Substantial Satisfactions of Life, to the Temptation of a Liquorish Palate. And so for the Liberties of Wine, Women, Feasting, and Jolly Company; The Pomp and Splendor of Courts and Parades, _&c._ It comes All to the same Point; for when Men are once Dipt; what with the Engagements of Sense, Custom, Facility; Nay and I might have said, with the very Shame of Departing from what they have given themselves up to, they go on with _Æsop’s_ Flyes, till they are Stifled in their very Pleasures.

FAB. CXXVII.

A _Young Man_ and a _Swallow_.

A _Prodigal Young Fellow_ that had sold his Cloths to his very Shirt, upon the Sight of a Swallow that came before her Time, made Account that Summer was now at Hand, and away went That too. There happen’d after This, a Fit of Bitter Cold Weather, that almost starv’d both the _Bird_, and the _Spendthrift_. Well (says the Fellow to Himself) This Sot of a _Swallow_ has been the Ruin of us Both.

The MORAL.

_Extraordinary Cases are Excepted out of the General Rules of Life: So that Irregular Accidents and Instances are not to be drawn into President._

REFLEXION.

Every Man Stands or Falls to his Own Reason; and it is No Excuse to say that I was Misled by Example, or Conjecture, when I had the Means before me of Informing my self Better. If This Prodigal had but Consulted the Almanack, or his own Experience, it would have set him Right in the Course of the Seasons, or the Old Proverb Methinks might have satisfy’d him, that _One Swallow makes no Summer_, Unless the Fable perchance should fall out to be the Ancienter of the Two, and the Occasion of that Proverb: But there are Certain Extravagants among People of all Sizes and Professions, and there must be no Drawing of General Rules from Particular Exceptions.

FAB. CXXVIII.

_Mercury_ and a _Carpenter_.

A _Carpenter_ dropt his Ax into a River, and put up a Prayer to _Mercury_ to help him to’t again. _Mercury_ Div’d for’t, and brought him up a Golden One: but That was not it, the Fellow said: And so he Plung’d a Second Time, and Fetch’d up Another, of Silver. He said That was not it neither. He try’d once again, and then Up comes an Ax with a Wooden Handle, which the _Carpenter_ said, was the very Tool that he had Lost. Well! (says _Mercury_) thou art so Just a Poor Wretch, that I’ll give thee All three now for thy Honesty. This Story was got into Every body’s Mouth, and the Rumour being Spread, it came into a Knave’s Head to Try the Same Experiment over again. And so away goes, He, and Down he Sits, Sniv’ling and Yelping upon the Bank of a River, that he had Dropt his Ax into the Water there. _Mercury_ that was at hand it seems, heard his Lamentation, and Dipping once again for his Ax, as he had done for the Other; up he brings him a Golden Ax, and Asks the Fellow if That were it. Yes, Yes, says he, This is it. Oh thou Impudent Sot, cries _Mercury_; to think of putting Tricks upon Him that sees through the very Heart of thee.

The MORAL.

_The Great Searcher of our Hearts is not to be Impos’d upon, but he will take his Own Time either to Reward or Punish._

REFLEXION.

Heaven Hates Dissemblers, and Hypocrites, as it Loves Men of Truth and Integrity. He that fancies he can Impose upon _Jupiter_ takes him for a _Cully_.

_Baudoin_ Moralizes the Matter thus; that _Mercury’s_ called upon, and Sent as the Patron of Artizans. The Practice of Truth and Justice can never fail of a Reward in the Conclusion, and the bringing in of a God to the Relief of a Poor Man, shews that it is from Heaven that the Needy are to Expect Redress.

Here are Two Men at their Prayers; The One a Downright _Plain Dealer_; and the Other a Trimming, Designing _Hypocrite_. The Former has a Reverence in his Heart for the Power that he Invokes; He is not to be Corrupted with Gold, or Silver. He stands in Awe of his Conscience, and makes good his Profession, with his Practice; Receiving in the End, the Blessing of a Reward for his Integrity. The Other Worships with his Eyes, his Hands, and his Voice; but All This is only to Cover the Cheat of a Rotten Heart. He acknowledges a Divine Power, but at the Same Time he makes a Mock on’t, and Provokes it. He stands Convinc’d that God knows All the Secrets of his Heart, and yet tells him a Lye to his Face. There is No such Masque, in fine, for the Greatest of Impieties, as a Veil of Religion. _This Praying Carpenter here would have made_ Mercury _a Broker to his Knavery_: and we have a world of Praying Christians too, that write after his Copy.

FAB. CXXIX.

A _Fox_ and _Grapes_.

There was a Time, when a _Fox_ would have Ventur’d as far for a Bunch of _Grapes_, as for a Shoulder of _Mutton_, and it was a _Fox_ of Those days, and That Palate, that stood Gaping under a Vine, and licking his Lips at a most Delicious Cluster of Grapes that he had Spy’d out there; He fetch’d a Hundred and a Hundred Leaps at it, till at last, when he was as Weary as a Dog, and found that there was No Good to be done; _Hang ’em_ (says He) _they are as Sour as Crabs_; and so away he went, turning off the Disappointment with a Jest.

FAB. CXXX.

A _Wolf_ and a _Lyon_.

As a _Wolf_ and a _Lyon_ were abroad upon Adventure together, Heark, (says the _Wolf_) Don’t you hear the Bleating of _Sheep_? My Life for Yours Sir, I’ll go fetch ye a Purchase. Away he goes, and follows his Ear, till he came just under the Sheepfold: But it was so well fortify’d, and the Dogs asleep so Near it, that back he comes Sneaking to the _Lyon_ again, and tells him, There are _Sheep_ Yonder (says he) ’tis true, but they are as Lean as Carrion, and we had e’en as good let ’em alone till they have more Flesh on their Backs.

The MORAL of the Two FABLES above.

_’Tis Matter of Skill and Address, when a man cannot Honestly Compass what he would be at, to Appear Easy and Indifferent upon All Repulses and Disappointments._

REFLEXION.

’Tis a Point of Good Discretion to make a Virtue of Necessity, and to Content our selves without what we cannot get, though we have never so much a Mind to’t; for ’tis a Turn of Art to seem to Despise what we cannot Compass, and to put off a Miscarriage with a Jest; Beside, that it is Better to have People think a man could Gain Such or such a Point if he Would, then that he Would, but cannot.

The _Foxes_ Put-off in This Fable, is a most Instructive Point of Philosophy towards the Government of our Lives; Provided that His Fooling may be made Our Earnest; as it would be much for our Honour and Quiet so to be. No man shall ever be Miserable, if he can but keep Clear of the Snare of Hopes and Fears; and _Antidote_ himself against the Flatteries of the One, and the Alarms of the Other: It is a High Point of Christian, as well as of Civil Prudence; for a Man to say Thus to Himself before-hand, of a Thing that he has a Mind to [_If I cannot get it, I shall be Better without it._] Or if he can but say after the Missing of it, [_It was better Lost then found._] Now if we cannot Arrive at the Pitch of making This Indifference a Virtue indeed, we may however so Disguise it yet, (though in a case of Necessity) as to make it Look like one: Not but that it would be much better if we could Attain to the Perfection it self, as well as we may in Appearance Cover the Disgrace.

I knew a Fine Lady once, and she was a Woman of Sense, Quality, and a very Generous Mind. She lay under Mortifications in abundance, and yet was never Observ’d to be Peevish or Angry upon any Provocation Whatsoever; and the Reason she gave for’t was This: [_It Will make Me Look Old_,] So that it is not so much the want of Ability to master our Affections, as the want of Resolution to go thorough with the Experiment. This is a way to keep us Firm in All Tryals: or if He, that upon a True Principle, lives without any Disquiet of Thought, may be said to be Happy: It Emproves all our Disappointments into Providences, when he can let fall the Vain Desire of any thing without feeling the Loss of it. It comes All to a Case now, upon the force of the Moral, whether we Quit, as the _Fox_ did the _Grapes_, because he could not come at them, or as the _Wolf_ did the _Sheep_, because he durst not Venture upon ’em. But be it either the One or the Other, there’s a Virtue, and a Blessing in’t, Both ways, in getting the Better of our Passions: which might certainly be done, if we had but half the Tenderness for our Minds and Consciences, that we have for our Carcasses, and our Fortunes.

FAB. CXXXI.

A _Boy_ and a _Snake_.

A _Boy_ was Groping for Eeles, and laid his hand upon a _Snake_, but the _Snake_, finding it was Pure Simplicity, and not Malice, Admonish’d him of his Mistake; Keep yourself Well while you are Well, says the _Snake_; for if you Meddle with Me, You’ll Repent your Bargain.

The MORAL.

_’Tis the Intention, Morally Speaking, that makes the Action Good or Bad; and even Brutes themselves will put a Difference betwixt Harms of Ill Will and Mischance._

REFLEXION.

’Tis Wisdom as well as Justice, to Distinguish betwixt Actions of Misadventure, and of Design. Every Thing has at least Two Handles to’t, and Both Parts should be well Examin’d, before a Man can make either a Warrantable Judgment, or a Prudent Choice. The _Boy’s_ Mistake here is no more than what we have Every day before our Eyes in common Practice: And That which the _Snake_ says to the _Boy_, Every Man’s Reason says to Himself. What is his taking a _Snake_ for an _Eele_, but our taking Vice for Virtue? He did it Unwarily: And so do We Many times too. He took the One for the Other, because they were so much Alike, that at first View he could not Distinguish them. And are not Virtue and Vice as Like, in several Instances, as One Egg is to Another? How shall a Man know, at first Blush, Hypocrisie from Piety; True Charity from Ostentation? or the Devil Himself with a Glory about him, from an Angel of Light? Time and Examination may do much, but the _Boy_ was Groping, and in the Dark, and so might Well be Mistaken. The _Snake_ Told him of his Error, and the Danger of it, but Pass’d it over, because there was no _Ill Will_ in’t. This is the very Case of Our Reason to us, in all our Misdoings: It Checks us for what’s Past, and Advises us for the Future, to have a care of False Appearances: Just as the _Snake_ did to the _Child_ here.

FAB. CXXXII.

A _Fowler_ and a _Partridge_.

A _Fowler_ had taken a _Partridge_, and the Bird offer’d her self to Decoy as many of her Companions into the Snare as she could, upon Condition that he would give her Quarter. No, says he, You shall Dye the rather for that very Reason, because you would be so Base as to Betray your Friends to save your self.

The MORAL.

_Of all Scandalous and Lewd Offices, That of a Traytor is Certainly the Basest; for it Undermines the very Foundations of Society._

REFLEXION.

Treachery is a Sin against Common Faith, Honour, and Human Society, A Villany, in short, that’s never to be Approv’d, how Convenient soever in some Cases to be made use of. The _Fowler’s_ here, was a Wise and a Generous Resolution, upon the _Partridges_ Proposal; for all Traytors are Mercenaries; and Whoever Betrays One Master for Advantage, will Betray Another for a Better Price. But as all manner of Treachery is Abominable in the Sight both of God and Man, and stands Reprehended in this Fable: So there are Certain Kinds and Degrees of it, that are yet more Execrable and Odious, One than Another. There is first a Treachery by Complexion, which was the _Partridges_ Case. Her Heart Fail’d her, and she would fain have Compounded for her Own Life, by the Betraying of her Fellows. This was an Unhappy Infirmity, but the Weakness all this while, does not Excuse the Perfidy, though it may seem in some Measure to Extenuate the Crime, by the Poor Creatures lying under almost an Insuperable Frailty. The _Fowler_ however made an Example of her for a Terror to Others. Now if a Treachery of this Quality be so Unpardonable, what shall we say to Those _Judases_ that Dip in the Dish with their Masters, and then for so many Pieces of Silver, deliver them up to be Crucify’d? What shall we say to Those that Sell their Country, their Souls and their Religion, for Mony, and Rate Divinity at so much a Pound? And then to Consummate the Wickedness, Finish the Work with Malice, that they began with Avarice.

FAB. CXXXIII.

A _Hare_ and a _Tortoise_.

What a Dull Heavy Creature (says a _Hare_) is This same _Tortoise_! And yet (says the _Tortoise_) I’ll run with you for a Wager. ’Twas _Done_ and _Done_, and the _Fox_, by Consent, was to be the Judg. They started together, and the _Tortoise_ kept Jogging on still, ’till he came to the End of the Course. The _Hare_ lay’d himself down about Midway, and took a Nap; for, says he, I can fetch up the _Tortoise_ when I please: But he Over-slept himself it seems, for when he came to wake, though he scudded away as fast as ’twas possible, the _Tortoise_ got to the Post before him, and Won the Wager.

The MORAL.

Up and be Doing, _is an Edifying Text; for Action is the Bus’ness of Life, and there’s no Thought of ever coming to the End of our Journey in time, if we Sleep by the Way_.

REFLEXION.

Unnecessary Delays in all Pressing Affairs are but just so much time Lost, beside the Hazard of Intervening Contingencies that may Endanger a Total Disappointment. Let not the Work of _to day_ be put off ’till _to morrow_; for the Future is Uncertain; and he that lyes down to Sleep in the Middle of Bus’ness that requires Action, does not know whether he shall live to ’wake again: Or with the _Hare_ in the Fable here, Out-sleep his Opportunity. A Plodding Diligence brings us sooner to our Journey’s End, then a Fluttering Way of Advancing by Starts and by Stops; for ’tis Perseverance Alone that can carry us Thorough-Stitch.

FAB. CXXXIV.

_Apples_ and _Horse-Turds_.

Upon a very great Fall of Rain, the Current carried Away a Huge Heap of _Apples_, together with a Dunghill that lay in the Water-Course. They Floated a good while together like Brethren and Companions; and as they went thus Dancing down in the Stream, the _Horse-Turds_ would be every foot crying out still, Alack a day! _How We Apples Swim!_

FAB. CXXXV.

A _Peach_, an _Apple_, and a _Blackberry_.

There happen’d a Controversy once betwixt a _Peach_ and an _Apple_, which was the Fairer Fruit of the Two. They were so Loud in their Discourse, that a _Blackberry_ from the next Hedg, Over-heard them. Come (says the _Blackberry_) We are _All Friends_, and pray let’s have No Jangling among our selves.

The MORAL of the Two FABLES above.

_Every Thing would be Thought Greater in the World then it is, and the Root of it is This, that it first thinks it self so._

REFLEXION.

’Tis a Vanity Common in the World, for Every Pretending Coxcomb to make himself One of the Party still with his Betters. They cry [_We_] to Every thing, and make themselves Necessary upon all Occasions, and to All Purposes and People, when upon the Truth of the Matter, they are found to be good for Just Nothing at all.

[_We_] _Apples_ cry the _Horse-Turds_. [We] the King’s Officers, crys the Fellow that carrys Guts to the Bears. [We] crys the Scum of the Nation to the Bench, to the Court, to the City, to the Church, to Parliaments, and Councils. There’s Nothing so Great, but the Little People cry [We] to’t still. [We’ll] do This, and [We’ll] do That, and [We’ll] Undertake for This and T’other. This is in a Familiar Way, the Common Style of the Licentious Multitude, to the Scandal of all Honorable Commissions, and of Those that Manage them. And This Humour of [_Weing_] holds as well in Matters of State, and of Understanding, as in the Point of Honour and Quality. ’Twas [We] in the Persons of the Fish-Wives and the Broom-Men. [We] again in the Resolutions of _Billingsgate_, and _Grub-street_, that took upon them to Prescribe in Matters of Religion and Government. [We] won’t lose our Religion, was the Cry of Every Ignorant Atheist. [We’ll] stand up for our Properties was the Beggers Song that liv’d upon the Alms Basket. And [We] for our Liberties, cry the Slaves of All Times and Interests; Nay and None so streight Lac’d as Common Cheats upon the Topique of Conscience. And so it was [We] again in the name of the Multitude, that did Every thing that was thought worth the Doing. Now if the Dregs of the People will be Opening, and Crying [We] to Every thing; the _Mobile_ has a Wide Mouth, and there’s No Stopping it. But the Arrogance of the Rabbles Assuming at This Rate, is Nothing to the Meanness of their Superiors, when they shall descend to keep such Company; or to make use of such Tools or Engines. ’Tis not half so bad for the _Apples_ to cry [We] _Horse-Turds_, as it would be for Men of State, and Caball, to cry [We] _Tinkers_ and _Carr-Men_. But this is a Supposition, not to enter so much as into the Thought of any Man of Sense or Honour. This Fable will also bear as Edifying, and as Pertinent a Moral, in the Inversion, as it does the Other Way. _We Rogues_, on the _One_ Hand, is Every jot as _Emphatical_, as _We Princes_ on the _Other_.

FAB. CXXXVI.

A _Mole_ and _her Dam_.

Mother (says a _Mole_ to her _Dam_) _Here’s a Strange Smell Methinks_. And then she was at it again, _There’s a Mulberry-Tree I perceive_. And so a Third Time, _What a Clattering of Hammers do I hear_. Daughter says the Old One, You have now quite Betray’d your self; for I thought You had Wanted only One Sense, and now I find you want Three; for you can neither Hear, nor Smell, any more then you can See.

The MORAL.

_Men Labour under Many Imperfections that No Body would take Notice of, if themselves were not Over sollicitous to Conceal them._

REFLEXION.

Boasters are Naturally Falsifyers, and the People of All Others that put their Shams the Worst together. Their Imperfections would not be Half so much taken Notice of, if their Own Vanity did not make Proclamation of them; As a Blind Lady that I knew, was never Well, but when she was Discoursing of Colours. _’Tis a Strange Thing, the Impudence of some Women!_ Was a Word often in the Mouth of a Precise Dame, who her self was as Common as the King’s High-Way. I knew Another that was never without _Limon-Pill_ in her Mouth, to Correct an Unsavoury Vapour of her Own, and yet would be Perpetually Inveighing against Foul Breaths. Now This way of Covering Defects, Scandals or Inconveniences, is the Only Way of Exposing them.

FAB. CXXXVII.

_Wasps_, _Partridges_, and a _Husbandman_.

A Flight of _Wasps_, and a Covy of _Partridges_ that were hard put to’t for Water, went to a _Farmer_, and begg’d a Soup of him to Quench their Thirst. The _Partridges_ offer’d to Dig his Vineyard for’t, and the _Wasps_ to secure him from Thieves. Pray hold your Hand, says the Good Man; I have Oxen and Dogs that do me These Offices already, without standing upon Terms. And therefore it will become me to Provide for them in the First Place.

The MORAL.

Charity begins at Home, _but the Necessary Duty of it in One Place, does not Discharge the Christian Exercise of it in another_.

REFLEXION.

Charity is a Humane, as well as a Christian Virtue, and there is a place for it, even upon Brutes, under the Duty of Tenderness and Good Nature, as well as upon Men; but still with a Distinction by way of Preference, that it is to be Employ’d in the First Place upon those that have the Fairest Right to’t: ’Tis One thing I must Confess, to Condition for a Good Office, and Another thing to do it _Gratis_; so that the Husbandman took the Proposal by the Right Handle in that Respect: But his being provided of Servants already, to do his Work was no Excuse for his Want of Charity to Relieve his Distressed Neighbor.

FAB. CXXXVIII.

_Jupiter_ and a _Serpent_.

_Jupiter_ had Presents made him upon his _Wedding-Day_, Greater, or Less, from All Living Creatures. A _Serpent_ brought him a _Rose_ in his Mouth for an Offering. The _Thing_ was Acceptable enough, but not the _Presenter_; for (says _Jupiter_) though Gifts are Welcome to me, of Themselves, I must not yet receive any from a _Serpent_.

The MORAL.

_He that receives a Present, Contracts an Obligation; which a Body would be Asham’d of in the Case of an Ill Man; for it looks toward making a Friendship with him._

REFLEXION.

A Good Man would not Willingly lye under any Obligation to a Person of a Lewd Character and Conversation; for beside the Danger he Incurs, it would not be for his Credit neither, where Presents are Scandals, and rather Snares than Benefits. ’Tis a kind of Incumbrance upon the freedom of a Generous Mind, to be in debt to an Ill Man, even upon any Score whatsoever, that does but carry the face of Good Will, or Respect; for ’tis a Debt that a Man’s both Asham’d and Weary of, ’till ’tis paid off. He lives uneasily under the Burden of it, and Consequently, it is the Debt of All Others that ought first to be Answer’d. And there’s no Cancelling the Bonds of Honor and Justice. Kindnesses are to be paid _in specie_, as well as Money. That is to say, there must be Affection in the Return, as well as Justice. Now as there can be No True Friendship betwixt a Good Man and a Wicked Man, there should be no Intercourse betwixt them that looks like Friendship, and therefore the Less Commerce the Better. As _Jupiter_, we see, would have Nothing to do with the _Serpent_.

FAB. CXXXIX.

A _Flea_ and a _Man_.

A Fellow finding somewhat Prick him, Popt his finger upon the Place, and it prov’d to be a _Flea_. What art thou, says he, for an Animal, to Suck thy Livelyhood out of my Carcass? Why ’tis the Livelyhood, (says the _Flea_) that Nature has Allotted me, and My Stinging is not Mortal neither. Well, says the Man, but ’tis Troublesome however; and now I Have ye, I’ll secure ye for ever Hurting me again, either Little or Much.

The MORAL.

Live and Let Live, _is the Rule of Common Justice, but if People will be Troublesome on the One hand, the Obligation is Discharg’d on the Other_.

REFLEXION.

It is as Natural for a _Man_ to Kill a _Flea_, as it is for a _Flea_ to Bite a _Man_. There’s a kind of self-Preservation on Both sides, and without Any Malice on Either Hand. The _Flea_ cannot Live without _Nourishment_, nor the _Man_ without _Rest_. So that here’s only a Present Dispatch on the One Hand, to prevent a Lingring Death on the Other, (as a Restless Life is in Truth no Better). There are in the World as many Illustrations of This Fable, as there are Instances of Petulant, Pragmatical, and Impertinent People that Break in upon Men of Government and Business. _Distractions_ have much in them of _Flea-bitings_; That is to say, they keep us Waking, and Hinder our Repose. The _Flea_ thought it hard to suffer Death for an Importunity: But to a Man that knows how to Value his Time and his Quiet, One Importunity upon the Neck of Another, is the Killing of a Man Alive, and the very Worst of Deaths.

FAB. CXL.

A _Flea_ and _Hercules_.

There was a Fellow, that upon a _Flea-Biting_ call’d out to _Hercules_ for Help. The _Flea_ gets away, and the Man Expostulates upon the Matter. Well! _Hercules_; (says he) You that would not take My Part against a Sorry _Flea_, will never stand by me in a Time of Need, against a more Powerful Enemy.

The MORAL.

_We Neglect God in Greater Matters, and Petition him for Trifles, nay and Take Pet at last if we cannot have our Askings._

REFLEXION.