Chapter V: Usurers and Curryers., 392 (15)

Not but that Charity is Free, and much at the Discretion of Him that is to Exercise it. It is Free, I say, to All Intents and Purposes, as to any Legal Coertion upon it, though at the same time, in Point of Conscience, a Man may lye under the Obligation of an Indispensable Duty. So that without forcing the Drift of this Fable, the Bishop is not to Blame here, the Matter simply Consider’d; for the First, Second, or Third Denyal, or for All together; for such Circumstances may be Suppos’d, with a Regard to the Manner, Time, and Persons, as might not only Acquit him for the Refusal, but have Reflected upon his Conduct, and Prudence, if he had Granted the Request: So that (with Veneration to the Divine Institution it self, and to Those that Live up to’t) we are to take This for the Figure of a _Loose_ and a _Covetous Prelate_, that Disgraces his _Character_ by his _Conversation_, and sets a Higher Rate upon a _Copper Farthing_, then upon an _Apostolical Benediction_. Now if This Bishop could have said, _Silver and Gold have I none_, the Author of This Fable would have Absolv’d him.

FAB. CCXCVII.

A _Lapwing_ Preferr’d.

Upon a General Invitation to the _Eagle_’s _Wedding_, there were several Birds of Quality among the Rest, that took it in Heavy Dudgeon to see a _Lapwing_ Plac’d at the Upper End of the Table. ’Tis true, they cry’d, he has a kind of a Coxcomb upon the Crown of him, and a Few Tawdry Feathers; but Alas, he never Eat a Good Meals Meat in his Life, till he came to This Preferment.

The MORAL.

_’Tis a Scandal to a Government, and there goes Envy along with it, where Honours are Conferr’d upon Men for Address, Beauty, and External Advantages, rather then for their Good Qualities and Virtues._

REFLEXION.

’Tis a Necessary Caution in All Preferments that they be Plac’d upon Fit Men; for the Right Motives; and for the Right Ends. The Advancing of a Fantastical Fool, or _Lapwing_, Reflects upon the Raiser of him; for ’tis an Ill sign, the very Liking of an Ill Man, and Implies, at least a Tacit Approbation of the Officers Defects. The Preferring of People indeed to Honourable Charges and Commissions, without either Brains, Bloud, Fortune, or Merit, may be so far Reputed a Great Work, as the making of Something out of Nothing, seems to be next door to a Creation: But the Character at last will not Excuse the Person so Dignify’d, from Open Envy and Secret Contempt, Where it falls out that the True Reason of the Choice, is either Fancy without Judgment, or Credulity without Enquiry, Information, or Tryal; the Latter is the more Harmless Mistake of the Two; for there’s somewhat of Generous in the Confidence, Notwithstanding the Error of the Facility: And as He that Trusts, to This Degree, does deserve not to be Deceived; so He that Betrays such a Trust, on the Other Hand, is not Worthy to Live. An Ill Reason, in fine, for an Ill Choice, is Worse then No Reason at all; for to proceed upon a Wrong Reason, is to Build upon a False Foundation. _Will and Pleasure_ is the Only Plea This Case will bear; for the Authority of the _Eagle her self_, we see, was not sufficient to Vindicate a _Worthless Minion_ from _Reproche_ and _Scorn_.

FAB. CCXCVIII.

A _Priest_ and _Pears_.

A _Jolly Gutling Priest_, that was Invited to a Wedding-Dinner, Stumbled upon a parcel of _Pears_ by the Way. The Man was sharp enough set to have made a Breakfast of them, but so taken up with the thought of the Wedding Chear, that he only Pist upon the _Pears_ in Contempt, and so went his Way. He was to Cross a River it seems, but finding the Waters so High, that there was No Passing, he was e’en glad to Trudge back again as Wise as he came, and to make a Meal of Those very _Pears_ that he had _Pist_ upon and _Despis’d_.

The MORAL.

_Hunger’s the Best Sauce._

REFLEXION.

This Fable shews us, that Delicate and Squeamish Humours in the Matters of Meats and Drinks, are Freak, and Phansy, rather then upon any Account of Nature, or Reason. (Some Few Insuperable Aversions only Excepted) There is a Pride, and an Affectation of Singularity, that is never to be pleas’d with any thing that’s Cheap and Common; and there’s also a Sensual Intemperance for the Gratifying of the Palate; but _Necessity, and No Choice_ cures either of These Evils. The _Priest_ did Ill in Vilifying These _Pears_; for All the Fruits of the Earth are the Gifts of Providence, which we ought to have a Reverence for: And he did Foolishly too in not Considering, that he Himself might come to stand in Need of them. But he was forc’d, in the Conclusion, to Eat That Himself, which he had made Unfit for any body else, and there was his Punishment. A Squeamish Fastidious Niceness in Meats and Drinks, must be Cur’d as we Cure Agues, by Starving.

FAB. CCXCIX.

A _Horse_ and a _Hog_.

A _Hog_ took Notice of a _Horse_ in the Height of his Courage, that was Just Advancing to Charge an Enemy, Why what a Fool art thou, says the _Hog_ to him, to make such Haste to be Destroy’d? That Consideration, says the _Horse_, may do well enough in the mouth of a wretched Creature that’s only Fatted up to be Kill’d by a Knife, but whenever I’m taken off, I’ll leave the Memory of a Good Name Behind me.

The MORAL.

_’Tis the Cause makes the Martyr._

REFLEXION.

He that Consults the Interest of his Carcass, before that of his Repution, or his Country, is Effectually but a Brute, under the Figure of a Man. An Honourable Death is to be Preferr’d before an Infamous Life. This _Hog_ in the Fable has but taken up the Words and Humour of a Bestial sort of People in the World: Men that lie Wallowing in their Lusts, their Debauches, and their Pleasures, and spending their Censures upon Men of Honour, and Publique Spirits, without any Regard to the Conscience of either Christian, Moral, or Political Duties. They are more Solicitous for the Pampering of their Bodies, then for the Saving of their Souls, or the Embalming of their Memories: and fall justly under the Reproof of the _Horse_ to the _Hog_ in This Emblem.

FAB. CCC.

A _Hunts-man_ and a _Currier_.

A _Currier_ bought a _Bear-Skin_ of a _Hunts-Man_, and laid him down ready Money for’t. The _Hunts-Man_ told him that he would Kill a _Bear_ next day, and he should have the Skin. The _Currier_, for his Curiosity, went out with the _Hunts-Man_ to the Chace, and Mounted a Tree, where he might see the Sport. The _Hunts-Man_ Advanc’d very Bravely up to the Den where the _Bear_ lay, and threw in his Dogs upon him. He Rustled out Immediately, and the Man Missing his Aim, the _Bear_ Overturn’d him. So the Fellow held his Breath, and lay Stone still, as if he were dead. The _Bear_ Snuffled, and smelt to him; took him for a Carcass, and so left him. When the _Bear_ was gone, and the Danger over, down comes the _Currier_ from the Tree, and bad the _Hunts-Man_ Rise. Heark ye, my Friend, says the _Currier_, the _Bear_ Whisper’d somewhat in your Ear, What was it, I prethee? Oh (says the _Hunts-Man_) he bad me have a Care for the Future, to make sure of the _Bear_, before I Sell his _Skin_.

The MORAL.

_Let no Man Undertake for more then he is able to make Good._

REFLEXION.

This is to bid us secure our selves Before hand of what we Undertake for, and not depend upon Uncertainties. Though with the Moralist’s Leave, the Uncertainty was on the Other Hand, and he that _Bought_ the Skin, ran a Greater Risque then T’other that _Sold_ it; and had the Worse End of the Staff. ’Tis Good Councel however, not to make our selves Answerable for Things out of our Power: Especially where there are Dangerous Contingencies in the Way, as we find in This Fable: For the _Bear_ was within a Hairs Breadth of Spoiling the Jest: It is much at this Rate that we make All our Bargains; We give our Time, Study, Interest, Liberty, and, in short, part with all that’s Precious, not only upon Uncertainties, but for Things we can never Obtain. There’s no depending upon _To-morrow_.

FAB. CCCI.

A _Hermit_ and a _Soldier_.

There was a _Holy-Man_ that took a _Soldier_ to Task, upon the Subject of his Profession, and laid before him the Hazzards, the Sins, and the Troubles that Attend People of that Trade; Wherefore, says he, for your Souls sake, Sir, Pray give it over. Well! _Father_, says the _Soldier_; I’ll do as you bid me; for really we are so Ill paid, and there’s so little to be Gotten by Pillage, that I Phansy I had e’en as good Betake my self to a Godly Life.

The MORAL.

_When People can Live no longer by their Sins, ’tis High Time for them to Mend their Manners._

REFLEXION.

Nature it self speaks in These Lively Images of Truth. Here’s a _Good Man_, and his _Penitent_ Preaching upon Two several Texts. The _Holy Father_ Enforces the Necessity of the _Soldier_’s _Repentance_, from the Wicked Course of Life that he Leads, and the Trade that he Drives. The _Soldier_, on the Other hand, is willing to be Converted, for the _Times are Dead_, he says, _and there’s Neither Pay, nor Plunder to be got_. The World has abundance of These _Proselytes_, that when they can be no longer Wicked to Advantage, take up an Outward Change of Profession, and pass presently for Babes of Grace, without the Least Symptoms, all this while, of any Inward Change of Mind. This was the Case of One of our _Modern Confessors_, and _Martyrs_, who took a Formal Leave of _Jesus Christ_, and told his _Ghostly Father_, that he was now fully Resolv’d not to Starve for his Religion. Now there are Millions and Millions in the World, of This Man’s Kidney, that have the Wit yet to keep their Tongues betwixt their Teeth, and to take up the same Resolution without Noise. How many Instances of the Power of Pay and Pillage, does Every day Produce in all manner of Dealings and Professions: For Religion and Property still March Hand in Hand, and Men will do Tricks like Dogs, for Crusts, and Change their Masters, both Heavenly, and Earthly, for Better Wages. Where’s That Law, or Text, that has not been Over-rul’d some time or other, and Distorted, by a False Gloss to make the Application Profitable, and Easie to the Good People? How often have we heard as Arrant Jangling in the Pulpits, as ever we did in the Steeples: And Professors Ringing as Awk as the Bells, to give notice of the Conflagration which They Themselves were Raising; for we have found it to our Cost, that the Multitude will sooner Kindle with a _Pernicious Doctrine_ then with a _Pudding-Lane Fire-Ball_. ’Tis not _Conscience_, but _Interest_ that Governs the World; and the Incomparable _Hudibras_ has hit the Point to a Hair.

_What’s Orthodox, and True Believing_
_Against a Conscience?_ A Good Living.
_What makes All Doctrines Plain and Clear?_
About Two Hundred Pound a Year.
_And That which was Prov’d True Before,_
_Prove False again?_ Two Hundred More.
_What makes the Breaking of all Oaths,_
_A Holy Duty?_ Food and Cloaths.

This it is, in fine, that makes the _Devil_ of a _Saint_, and a _Saint_ of a _Devil_; for your _Holy Apostate_ is the _Blackest_ of _Hypocrites_. The _Soldier_ turns _Religious_, and he shall do more Mischief in That Shape, then ever he did in the Other. For a Corrupted Zeal draws more Bloud then a Mercenary Malice.

FAB. CCCII.

A _Husband_ and _Wife_ twice _Marry’d_.

There happened a Match betwixt a _Widower_ and a _Widow_. The _Woman_ would be perpetually Twitting of her Second Husband, what a Man her First was; and her _Husband_ did not forget the Ringing of it in her Ears as often, what an Admirable Woman he had to his First Wife. As the _Woman_ was One day upon the Peevish Pin, a Poor Body comes to the Door, while the Froward Fit was upon her, to beg a Charity. Come in Poor Man (says the Woman) Here’s e’en the Leg of a Capon for thee, to Pray for the Soul of my First Husband. Nay, Faith, says the Husband, and when thy Hand is In, e’en take the Body and the Rest on’t, to pray for the Soul of My First Wife. This was Their way of Teizing One Another, and of Starving the Living to the Honour of the Dead: For they had but that One Capon betwixt them to Supper.

The MORAL.

Sauce for a Goose is Sauce for a Gander. _There’s no Contending with the Laws of God and Man, Especially against Those that have Power and Right on their Sides._

REFLEXION.

We may learn from This Fable, that it is Common Duty and Discretion, for Men and their Wives, when they are once Hamper’d, to make the Best of a Doubtful Game; for they are One to All Manner of Purposes, by which it is Possible for Two Persons to be United. Their Interest is One and the same, and there’s No Touching the Peace, or the Honour of the One, without Wounding That of the Other; but if there happens to be Any Absolute Necessity of Jangling, One of the Civilest ways of Reproche is That here before us; and it is but according to the Ordinary Guise and Freak of the World, when any thing comes Cross betwixt the Second Husband and Wife, to be still Celebrating the Memory of the Former. _My First Husband_ (Heaven Rest his Soul) and _My First Wife_, they Cry, was So and So, and would have done This and That. The Two Main Topiques to Chop Logick upon in These Domestique Disagreements, are commonly the Upbraiding One Another with what _I Was_, and what _I Might have been_; and what a Match I might have had (with a Pox) never considering what they _Are_, and that what they _Are_ they _Must_ be, which is the Only Point. ’Tis Forty to One that Controversies will Arise one time or Other in That State of Life, when it will be the Husbands Part, upon the Matter of Dignity, Preference, and Commission, to Moderate Matters, both by his Authority, and his Prudence; Which is but Consonant to Equity and Right Nature. Wherefore the Woman is Worse then Frantick, that, upon These Disputes, will be trying Conclusions with her Husband, for a Better, or a Worse. If he Truckles, she makes him a Coxcomb: If he keeps his Ground, she shews her self to be One, so that she lays all at stake upon the Contest, that a Sober Woman has to Lose. It is much better to give Way betimes to the Stronger, even upon the Matter of Prudence, as well as of Respect, then it would be to Contend at first, and then, either to Cross the Cudgels, or to be Baffled in the Conclusion. The Man and the Woman here never Consider’d that they gave away their Own Meat, and both Robb’d, and Discredited One Another in the Contest.

FAB. CCCIII.

A _Lyon_ and a _Mouse_.

A _Lyon_ that found himself Hamper’d in a Net, call’d to a _Mouse_ that was passing by, to help him out of the Snare, and he’d never forget the Kindness, he said. The _Mouse_ Gnaw’d the Threads to pieces, and when he had set the _Lyon_ at Liberty, desir’d him in Requital to give him his Daughter. The _Lyon_ was too Generous to Deny him Any thing, but most Unluckily, as the New Bride was just about to Step into the Marriage Bed, she happen’d to set her Foot upon her Husband at unawares, and Crush’d him to Death.

The MORAL.

_The Folly of an Inconsiderate Love. The Force of Gratitude, and Good Nature, and the Misery that Accompanies Unequal Matches._

REFLEXION.

All Matches, Friendships, and Societies are Dangerous and Inconvenient, where the Contractors are Not Equals: And the _Mouse_ under the Paw of the _Lyon_, does well enough set forth the Danger of such a Marriage.

FAB. CCCIV.

_Wax_ and _Brick_.

There was a Question started once about _Wax_, and _Brick_, why the One should be so Brittle, and liable to be Broken with Every Knock, and the Other bear up against All Injuries and Weathers, so Durable and Firm. The _Wax_ Philosophiz’d upon the Matter, and finding Out at last, that it was Burning made the _Brick_ so Hard, Cast it self into the _Fire_, upon an Opinion that Heat would Harden the _Wax_ too; but That which Consolidated the One, Dissolv’d the Other.

The MORAL.

_’Tis a Folly to try Conclusions without Understanding the Nature of the Matter in Question._

REFLEXION.

There’s No Trying of Experiments, without laying Things and Things together: For That which is agreeable to the Nature of One Thing, is Many times Contrary to the Nature of Another. Several Humours are to be Wrought upon several Ways, and the Case betwixt _Wax_ and _Brick_, is the very same Case too betwixt One Man and Another. Some are to be dealt withal by Fair Means; Others by Foul; and that which Hardens the One softens the Other.

FAB. CCCV.

A _Husbandman_ turn’d _Soldier_ and _Merchant_.

Oh the Endless Misery of the Life I lead! cries the Moiling _Husbandman_, to spend all my Days in Ploughing, Sowing, Digging, and Dunging, and to make Nothing on’t at last! Why now in a _Soldier_’s Life, there’s Honour to be got, and One Lucky Hit sets up a Man for Ever. Faith, I’ll e’en put off my Stock, Get me a Horse and Arms, and Try the Fortune of the War. Away he goes; Makes his Push; Stands the Shock of a Battel, and Compounds at last for the Leaving of a Leg or an Arm behind him, to go Home again. By this Time he has had his Bellyful of _Knight-Errantry_, and a New Freak takes him in the Crown. He might do better, he fancies, in the Way of a _Merchant_. This Maggot has no sooner set him agog; but he gets him a Ship Immediately; Freights her, and so away to Sea upon Adventure: Builds Castles in the Air, and Conceits Both the _Indies_ in his Coffers, before he gets so much as Clear of the Port. Well! and What’s the End of All This at last? He falls into Foul Weather, among Flats and Rocks, where Merchant, Vessel, Goods, and All are lost in One Common Wreck.

The MORAL.

_A Rambling Levity of Mind is commonly Fatal to us._

REFLEXION.

This Doctrine concerns those that Rashly Change their Condition and Fortune, and commonly fall into the Inconveniences that they thought to Avoid. He that’s Well, already, and, upon a Levity of Mind, Quits his Station, in hope to be Better, ’tis Forty to One he loses by the Change; for This Lightness is both a Vice, and a Disease, and rather the Wallowing of a Sickly Qualm, then any Reasonable Agitation of Councel and Debate. The Fault is not in the Place, or Bus’ness, but in the Stomach; and the Quitting of such a Course of Life, is but shifting Posture in a Fit of Sickness: Let a Man turn which Way he will, he is still as Restless and uneasie One way as Another. Not but that ’tis Reasonable for a Man, under any Calamity, to use the Best Means he can, Honestly, to get Clear on’t. Let it be Pain of Body, Distress of Mind, Loss of Liberty, Pinching Necessity of Fortune; Nay let it be Gout, Stone, or Torments, there’s Matter yet left for Industry, Councel, Generosity, or when All fails, for Philosophy, and Constancy of Mind to Work upon; and to Emprove All the Methods of Providence to our Advantage. Now All This is only an Honourable and Warrantable Conflict, with such Accidents and Circumstances as Providence is pleas’d to make use of, for the Tryal of our Faith and Virtue. So that These Strivings are not to be taken for a Contending with superior Powers; but they are Cases Excepted from the Uneasiness here in the Fable; which arises from a Dissatisfaction in such a Lot, as might make us abundantly happy if we would but keep our Desires within Those Bounds which God and Nature have Prescrib’d us. But Men under These Irregular Appetites, can never think themselves Well, so long as they fancy they Might be Better: And then from Better, they must Rise to be Best; and when That Best it self falls short of what they Expected from it, they are still as Poor and Miserable as if they had just Nothing at all. The _Husbandman_ Envies the _Soldier_; The _Soldier_ Envies the _Merchant_, and when he has try’d All Turns, and Projects, what with the Chance of War, Storms, and Pyrates, he sees his folly too late, and in Vain Wishes himself with his Hinds and his Flocks again. To say All in a Word, This Levity is both Attended, and Punish’d, with an Impossibility of Mending our Condition; for we Apply to our Bodies, and our Fortunes, when the Distemper lies in our Minds.

FAB. CCCVI.

An _Ass_ puts in for an _Office_.

There was a Bantering Droll got himself into a very Good Equipage and Employment, by an Admirable Faculty he had in Farting. The success of this Buffon Encourag’d an _Ass_ to put in for a place too; for, says he, I’ll Fart with That Puppy for his Commission, and leave it to the Judgment of Those that Preferr’d him, which has the Clearer, and the Better Scented Pipe of the Two.

The MORAL.

_Where Publique Ministers Encourage Buffonery, ’tis no wonder if Buffons set up for Publique Ministers._

REFLEXION.

This Fable, according to _Abstemius_, and Others, Touches the Humour of Those that Squander away their Money upon Vanity and Trifles: But it seems to Me to look quite Another Way. With _Abstemius_’s Favour, I should rather take This Fable to Strike at the Natural Consequences of Evil Examples, when the Unreasonableness of One Act shall be made use of as an Argument for Another, no less Unreasonable: for ’tis President, Effectually that Governs the World. Why should not One Fool be Preferr’d for Farting as well as Another? For in Cases of Competition, he that does Best, e’en in an Ill, or in a Weak Thing, has a kind of Claim, and Right to a Preference, and the Grosser the Foppery, or the Iniquity, the Fairer the Pretence.

This _Ass_’s putting up for an Office, Taxes the Perverting of Policy and Justice, in Conferring Those Honours, Charges, and Benefits, upon Parasites, Drolls, Buffons, and other Servile Instruments of Lust and Ambition, that are Due only to Men of Honour and Virtue. The Ministers of Government, and of Pleasure, should be carefully Distinguish’d; for it Corrupts both the Morals, and the Understandings of a Nation, when they find the Precepts of Common Honesty, and the Practices of State, to run so directly Counter, as to leave no Hope of Advancement, Credit, or Security, but by living in a Defiance to Nature and Reason: That is to say, by _Playing the Fool_, and _Farting_ for _Preferment_.

FAB. CCCVII.

A _River_ and a _Fountain_.

There Happen’d a Dispute betwixt a _River_ and a _Fountain_, which of the two should have the Preference. The _River_ Valu’d it self upon the Plenty and Variety of Fish that it Produc’d; The Advantages of Navigation; The many Brave Towns and Palaces that were Built upon the Banks of it; purely for the Pleasure of the Situation. And then for the General Satisfaction, in fine, that it Yielded to Mankind, in the Matter both of Convenience and Delight: Whereas (says the _River_) the _Fountain_ passes Obscurely through the Caverns of the Earth; lies Bury’d up in Moss, and comes Creeping into the World, as if it were asham’d to shew the Head. The _Fountain_ took the Insolence and the Vanity of This Reproche so Heinously, that it presently Choak’d up the _Spring_, and Stopt the Course of its Waters: Insomuch that the Channel was immediately dry’d up, and the Fish left Dead and Stinking in the Mud; as a Just Judgment upon the _Stream_ for Derogating from the _Original_ and _Author_ of All the Blessings it Enjoy’d.

The MORAL.

_He that Arrogates any Good to Himself, detracts from the Author of all the Good he Enjoys._

REFLEXION.

There are too many People in the World of the Humour of This _River_, that assume to Themselves what they receive from others, without ever so much as Thinking of the Heavenly Goodness that is the Author of Life it self, and of all the Blessings that Crown the Comfort of it.

This Fable is a kind of an Expostulatory Debate betwixt Bounty and Ingratitude; betwixt the Divine Goodness, and the Vain-Glorious Pride of Corrupt Nature. And the Iniquity of our Proceeding is much the Same, both towards God and Man. We are readier to Claim to our selves, then to Ascribe to Others, and most Dangerously given to Mistake the Gratuitous Blessings of Heaven, for the Fruits of our Own Industry and Virtue. The Fountain of all Goodness, and of all Good Things is God, Blessed for ever: But in the Dispensation of his Mercies to the World, some things he does by Himself, others by the Intervention of Natural Means, and by the Mediation of such Instruments as he has appointed for the Conveying of Those Benefits to us. According to this Order, Kings are, by Deputation, the Fountains of Honour and Preferment: And we find Men as Backward every Jot to Acknowledge Temporal, as they are to Acknowledge Spiritual Gifts and Bounties: So that we have Thankless Favourites as well as Graceless Christians. What a _Babel_ do they make now of the Nature of Things, rather then Own the Course of Providence in the Distribution of them! Insomuch that the Faculties that were given us for the Glory and Service of our Master, as well as for the Comfort of our Lives, and the Salvation of our Souls, are turn’d Point Blank against the very Reason and Intention of them. Sharpness of Wit is Emprov’d to the Dishonour of Him that Gave it. Atheism and Blasphemy Dress’d up like a Science, and the Understanding that was given us for the Finding out of the Truth, is Employ’d upon Paradoxing, and Ridiculing it. They Value themselves with the _River_, upon a Conceit, that the Fish, the Beauty, the Conveniency, is All their Own: And what is All This now, but either to Disclaim the Original, or to Defame it? That’s Obscure, they say, Neglected, Over-grown, and either Not taken Notice of, or not Found: And what’s the Issue now of This Vanity, and Distraction? A Judgment Treads upon the Heel on’t; for Providence stops the _Current_, lays the Channel Open, and Exposes it to Detestation and Scorn, in all its Filthiness.

FAB. CCCVIII.

A _Wicked Man_ and the _Devil_.

A Notorious _Malefactor_ that had Committed I know not how many Villanies, and run through the Discipline of as many Goals, made a Friend of the _Devil_, to help him out in all his Distresses. This Friend of his, brought him off many and many a time, and still as he was Taken up, again and again, he had his Recourse, over and over, to the same _Devil_ for succour. But upon his Last Summons, the _Devil_ came to him with a Great Bag of Old Shoes at his Back, and told him Plainly. Friend (says he) I’m at the End of my Line, and can Help ye No longer. I have beat the Hoof till I have Worn out all These Shoes in Your Service, and not One Penny left me to Buy more: So that you must e’en Excuse Me if I drop ye here.

The MORAL.

The Devil helps his Servants, _for a Season; but when they come once to a Pinch, he leaves ’em in the Lurch_.

REFLEXION.

Wickedness may Prosper for a while; but at the Long Run, He that sets All Knaves at Work, will most certainly Pay them their Wages. The Man pays Dear for his Protection that Pawns his Soul for’t: And it may be Another Observation, that _the Devil Himself will not work without Money_.

FAB. CCCIX.

A _Council_ of _Birds_ for _Chusing_ more _Kings_.

The _Birds_ were Mightily Possess’d with an Opinion, that it was utterly Impossible for the _Eagle_ alone to Administer Equal Justice to All her Subjects; And upon This Ground, there was a Motion put up, for Changing the _Monarchy_ into a _Republique_: But an Old Cunning _Crow_, that saw further into a Millstone then his Neighbours, with One Word of his Mouth Dash’d the Project. _The More Kings you Have_, says he, _the more Sacks there are to be Fill’d_: And so the Debate fell.

The MORAL.

_The Common People Hate all Government, and when they are Sick of it in One Form, they Fly to Another, but still they rather Incline to That which they Phansy Easiest to themselves._

REFLEXION.

This Emblem Insinuates a Government by _One_ to be less Burdensom, then a Government by _Many_. And it is well enough Adapted to a Profitable Allegory. The _Multitude_ of _Birds_ are Impos’d upon, that _One Monarch_ is not sufficient for the Discharging of the Office, and therefore there’s a Motion put up for the Erecting of More Kings: for Why, say they, should so many Millions of Men be Subjected to the Power and Will of One single Person? This Error was begotten betwixt Faction, and Interest. The One Manages by Design, and the Other falls in upon an Implicit Resignation; or else Yields, upon Facility, and Weakness. In the Conclusion, some Man of Observation, and Experience (as the _Crow_ for the purpose) carries them off Clear from the Reasoning Part, and Applies to the _Mobile_ in their Own Way: That is to say, in a Way of _Pocket-Arguments_. He never Troubled Himself about the _Original_ of _Power_, or the _Analogy_ betwixt _Monarchy_ in _Heaven_, and upon _Earth_; but gives them a short Stroke upon the Subject of _Profit_ and _Loss_. _You will find it easier_, says he, to _Fill One Sack then Many_: And That Allusion carry’d the Point.

FAB. CCCX.

A _Woman_ that would needs _Die_ for her _Husband_.

A Poor Woman was put out of her Wits in a manner for fear of losing her _Husband_. The Good Man was Sick and Given Over, and Nothing would serve the Turn, but Death must needs take Her instead of Him. She Call’d and Pray’d, and Pray’d and Call’d, till at last, Death Presented himself in a Horrible Shape at her Elbow. She very Civilly dropt him a Cursie; And _Pray Sir_, says she, _Do not Mistake your self; for the Person you come for lies in the Bed there_.

The MORAL.

_’Tis a Common Thing to Talk of Dying for a Friend; but when it comes to the Push once, ’tis no more then Talk at last._

REFLEXION.

This Confirms the Proverb, that _Charity begins at Home_, and when all is done, there’s No Man loves a Friend so Well, but he loves Himself Better. There are No People more Startled at Death, then Those that have gotten a Custom of Calling for’t. _Oh that Death would Deliver Me!_ (says One) _Oh, that Death would take Me in the Place of my Dear Husband!_ says T’other. But when Death comes to Present Himself indeed, and to take them at their Words, the Good Wife very Civilly puts the Change upon him, and tells him, that _the Person he comes for lies in the Bed there_. In few Words, to call for _Death_ in _Jest_, is _Vain_, and _Unprofitable_. To call for’t in _Earnest_, is _Impious_: And to call for’t _at all_, is both _Foolish_ and _Needless_; for _Death_ will most certainly come at his appointed time, whether he be call’d for or No.

FAB. CCCXI.

A _Son Singing_ at his _Mother_’s _Funeral_.

There was a Good Man that follow’d his Wives Body to the Grave, Weeping, and Wayling all the Way he went, while his Son follow’d the Corps, Singing. Why Sirrah, says the Father, You should Howle, and Wring your Hands, and do as I do, ye Rogue You; and not go _Sol-Fa-ing_ it about like a Mad-man. Why Father, says he, You give the Priests Money to Sing, and will you be Angry with Me for giving ye a Song _Gratis_? Well, says the Father, but that which may become the Priests will not always become You. ’Tis their Office to Sing; but it is Your Part to Cry.

The MORAL.

_Funeral Tears are as Arrantly Hir’d out as Mourning Cloaks: and so are the very Offices: And whether we go to our Graves Sniveling or Singing, ’tis all but according to the Fashion of the Country, and meer Form._

REFLEXION.

The Methods of Government, and of Humane Society, must be Preserv’d where Every Man has his Roll, and his Station Assign’d him; and it is not for One Man to break in upon the Province of Another. This Moral tells us also, that when One Man Condoles for the Distresses of Another, ’tis more for Money, or for Company, then for Kindness.

’Tis a slavish sort of Ceremony and Imposition, that People must be Train’d up, by certain Rules of Art, and Prescription, to the very Manage and Government of the most Free and Natural of our Affections; for we are Taught and Appointed the very Methods, and Degrees of Grieving, and _Rejoycing_; and to do Honour to the Dead, by the Counterfeit Lamentations of the Living. But this way of Mourning by Rule, is rather an Ostentation of Sorrow, then Indication of it. Now to say the Truth of the Matter, Terms and Modes have Corrupted the Sincerity of our Manners, as well toward our Living Friends, as to the Memory of Those Departed. We have hardly anything left in our Conversation that is Pure and Genuine: But the way of Civility in Fashion, casts a Blind over the Duty, under some Certain Customary Presidents of Empty Words: So that at This rate, we Impose One upon Another, without any regard to Faith, Truth, or Vertue. But we must Sing in some Cases, and Cry in Others, and there’s an End on’t.

FAB. CCCXII.

A _Jealous Husband_.

A _Jealous Husband_ Committed his Wife in Confidence to the Care and Custody of a Particular Friend; with the Promise of a Considerable Reward if he could but keep her Honest. After some Few Days, the Friend grew weary of his Charge, and Desir’d her Husband to take his Wife Home again, and Release him of his Bargain; for says he, I find it utterly impossible to Hinder a Woman from any thing she has a Mind to. If it were to turn a Bag of Fleas Loose into a Meadow every Morning a Grazing, and Fetch them Home again at Night, I durst be answerable with my Life for the Doing of it, to a single Flea, but T’other is a Commission I dare go no further in.

The MORAL.

_’Tis enough to make a Woman a Whore, but so much as to Phansy her One, and then ’tis to no Boot to be Jealous neither; for if the Humour takes her to be Jadish, ’tis not All the Locks, Bolts and Spies in Nature that can keep her Honest._

REFLEXION.

_Jealousy_, betwixt Man and Wife, does but provoke and Enflame the Appetite, as it sets the Invention at Work upon Ways and Means of giving One another the Slip: And when it comes to a Tryal of Skill once, ’tis a Carrying of the Cause to gain the Point, and there’s a kind of Perverse Reputation in getting the Better on’t. Briefly, ’tis Labour Lost on Both sides, while the One is never to be restrain’d, nor the Other to be satisfy’d: For Jealousy Rages as well without Reason as with it. Nay, the very Will to do a Thing is as Good as the Thing Done; And his Head is as Sick, that but fancies the Thing Done, as if he saw the very Doing of it with his own Eyes. The Ways of a Woman that has a mind to play _Fast_ and _Loose_, are as Unsearchable as the very Thoughts of her Heart; and therefore the Friend here was in the Right to Discharge Himself of his Trust, and throw up his Commission.

FAB. CCCXIII.

A _Man_ that would not take a _Clyster_.

When the Patient is Rich, there’s No Fear of Physicians about him, as Thick as Wasps to a Honey-Pot; and there was a Whole College of them call’d to a Consultation upon a _Purse-proud Dutch Man_, that was Troubled with a _Megrim_. The Doctors prescrib’d him a Clyster; The Patient fell into a Rage upon’t. Why _Certainly These People are all Mad_, says he, _to Talk of Curing a Man’s Head at his Tail_.

The MORAL.

_He that Consults his Physician, and will not follow his Advice, must be his Own Doctor: But let him take the Old Adage along with him._ He that Teaches Himself has a Fool to his Master.

REFLEXION.

’Tis a Miserable Thing, when Men that Understand Nothing at all, shall take upon them to Censure, and to Prejudge every thing that they do not Understand. What’s the Use of a College, if every Particular Man shall set up to be his Own Doctor? And ’tis the same Case where Subjects take upon them to Correct _Magnificat_, and to Prescribe to their Superiors. Let every Man be Trusted in his Own Way, and let the Doctor Prescribe to the _Patient_, and not the _Patient_ to the _Doctor_. For at the Rate of This Thick-skull’d Blunder-head, every _Plow Jobber_ shall take upon him to Read upon _Divinity_, _Law_, and _Politiques_, as well as _Physick_.

FAB. CCCXIV.

A _Wolfe_ and a _Sick Ass_.

There was a certaine _Wolfe_, that in a Qualm of Wonderful Charity, made a Visit to an _Ass_, that lay ill of a Violent Fever. He felt his Pulse very Gingerly; And, pray, my Good Friend, says he, Whereabouts is your Greatest Pain? Oh, Gently, says the _Ass_; for it Pricks me just there still where you lay your Finger.

FAB. CCCXV.

A _Fox_ and a _Sick Cock_.

A _Cock_ took his Bed upon a Fit of Sickness, and a _Fox_ of his Old Acquaintance, gave him the Complement of a Visit, and Ask’d him how he felt himself. Alas! says the _Cock_, I’m e’en ready to smother for want of Breath; and if you’d be pleas’d but to stand off, and give me a Little Fresh Air, I fancy I should be somewhat more at Ease.

The MORAL of the Two FABLES above.

_The Charity of our Death-Bed Visits from One to Another, is much at a Rate (generally Speaking) with that of a Carrion Crow to a Sheep; we smell a Carcase._

REFLEXION.

There are no Visits so officious, and Importune, as those that People think to get by; Especially when our Thoughts are taken up with Matters of Greater Moment. Besides, that there’s a Design upon us in the very Complement. These Fables may serve to Point out to us, that there are _Men_, as well as _Wolves_ and _Foxes_, that wait for the _Carcass_: That is to say, for an Office, an Estate, a Commission, Lands, Moneys, Jewels, or whatever else People lie Gaping for in Reversion, according to the Practice of the World: So that there’s Little Trust to These _Death Bed Ceremonies_; which, for the Greater Part, have more in them of Avarice, and Interest, then of Piety and Good Will: So that Effectually, a _Wolfe_’s Visiting a _Sick Ass_, is but _Saying Grace_ to a _Dead One_.

FAB. CCCXVI.

_Three Things_ are the _Better_ for _Beating_.

A Good Woman happen’d to pass by as a Company of Young Fellows were Cudgelling a Wallnut-Tree, and ask’d them what they did That for? This is only by the Way of Discipline, says one of the Lads; for ’tis Natural for _Asses_, _Women_, and _Wallnut-Trees_ to _Mend_ upon _Beating_.

The MORAL.

_Spur a Jade a Question, and he’ll kick ye an Answer._

REFLEXION.

People should not be too Inquisitive, without Considering how far They Themselves may be concern’d in the Answer to the Question.

FAB. CCCXVII.

The _Ass_’s _Wish_.

An _Ass_ was wishing in a hard Winter, for a Little Warm Weather, and a Mouthful of Fresh Grass to Knab upon, in Exchange for a Heartless Truss of Straw, and a Cold Lodging. In Good Time the Warm Weather, and the Fresh Grass comes on; but so much Toyl and Bus’ness along with it, that the _Ass_ grows quickly as Sick of the _Spring_ as he was of the _Winter_. His next Longing is for _Summer_; but what with Harvest Work, and other Drudgeries of That Season, he is Worse now then he was in the _Spring_; and then he fancies he shall never be Well till _Autumn_ comes; But There again, what with Carrying Apples, Grapes, Fewel, Winter-Provisions, _&c._ he finds himself in a Greater Hurry then ever. In fine, when he has trod the Circle of the Year in a Course of Restless Labour, his Last Prayer is for _Winter again_, and that he may but take up his Rest where he began his Complaint.

The MORAL.

_The Life of an Unsteady Man runs away in a Course of Vain Wishes, and Unprofitable Repentance: An Unsettled Mind can never be at Rest. There’s No Season without its Bus’ness._

REFLEXION.

The _Ass_’s _Wish_ here, is the Lively Image of a Foolish, and a Miserable Levity of Mind; and, in Truth, there is but too much in’t of the Figure, and the Bus’ness of Humane Life; for we spend our Days in a kind of Lazy Restless Indisposition, that looks as if we would fain be doing something, and yet never goes further, then to a Shifting from One Proposition to Another. _Wishing and Woulding_, (as they say) has somewhat in it of an Analogy to Stretching, and Yawning; We only Drowse when we think we Live, and our Time runs away in Fancying _Castles in the Air_, and in putting of Cases. The Inference that we are to draw from hence is This; If an Unsettled Head and Heart be so Grievous a Calamity, the Squaring of a Man’s Thoughts, Wishes, and Desires, to the Lot that Providence has set Out for him, is both a Blessing, and a Duty.

He that is still Weary of the Present, shall be most certainly Sollicitous for the Future. For the Present is only the Course of so many Moments into time to Come. He that Gapes after he knows not what, shall be sure to Lose his Longing. He Changes, out of Restlesness, not Choice, and so long as he carries the same Mind about him, the Circumstances of his Condition will never Alter the Case. His Present Thoughts are Uneasy, because his Present State does not Please him, and so he goes on at a Venture, Shifting and Casting about for somewhat else that may better Agree with him. The Batchelor wants a Wife; The Marry’d Man wants his Liberty; The Statesman has a Mind to be Private. The Country-man lives out of the World: The Man of Bus’ness is a Slave to’t; And he that’s out of Employment, makes it his Excuse, that he is forc’d to Drink or Whore for want of somewhat else to do. There’s no Measure to be taken of an Unsteady Mind; but still ’tis either too Much, or too Little; too Soon, or too Late. The Love of Novelty begets, and Encreases the Love of Novelty; and the oftner we Change, the more Dangerous and Troublesome do we find This Itch of Variety to be. The _Ass_ was Sick of the _Spring_; _Sicker_ yet of the _Summer_; _more Sick_ still of _Autumn_; and _Sickest of All_ of the _Winter_; till he’s brought, in the End, to Compound for his First Condition again, and so take up with That for his Satisfaction, which he reckon’d upon before for his Misfortune.

This it is, when Fickle and Foolish People will be Prescribing To, and Refining upon the Wise and Gracious Appointments of the Maker of the World. They know not what they Are, and they know not what they Would be, any further, then that they would not be what they are. Let their Present State in the World be what it will, there’s still something or other in’t that makes their Life Wearysome: And they are as Peevish Company to Themselves too, as they are to their Neighbours; for there’s not One Circumstance in Nature, but they shall find Matter to Pick a Quarrel at: Let it be Health, Fortune, Conversation, Kindred, Friends, it will be all a Case, so long as Weak, and Wayward Men shall go on Grumbling, and Civelling at the Works and Dispensations of Heaven. Were it not better now for People to be Quiet at first; and to sit down contentedly in the Post where Providence has Plac’d them? Were it not better to do the Great Work of Life Betimes, by the Help of a Seasonable Prudence and Vertue, then to Deliver up our selves to the Torments of Hopes and Fears, and be forc’d to do’t at last, by the Dear-bought Experience of our Follies, and the Necessity of giving over what we can do no Longer?

This is not yet to bar Honest Industry, or a Sober Application to those Ways, Studies, or Means that may probably Contribute to the Mending of a Man’s Fortune: Provided that he set up his Resolution before hand, not to let himself down below the Dignity of a Wise Man, be the Issue of his Endeavours what it will. He that is not Content at Present, carries the same Weakness along with him to his next Remove; for whoever either Passionately Covets any thing that he has Not, or feels himself Glutted with a Satiety of what he Possesses, has already lost his Hold: So that if we would be Happy, we must Fix upon some Foundation that can never Deceive us; and Govern our selves by the Measures of Sobriety and Justice. All the rest is but the _Ass_’s _Circulation_ of more and more Anxiety and Trouble.

FAB. CCCXVIII.

A _Cat_ and _Mice_.

As a Company of _Mice_ were Peeping out of their Holes for Discovery, they spy’d a _Cat_ upon a Shelf; that lay and look’d so Demurely, as if there had been neither Life nor Soul in her. Well (says one of the _Mice_) That’s a Good Natur’d Creature, I’ll Warrant her; One may read it in her very Looks; and truly I have the Greatest Mind in the World to make an Acquaintance with her. So said, and so done; but so soon as ever _Puss_ had her within Reach, she gave her to Understand, that the Face is not always the _Index_ of the Mind.

The MORAL.

_’Tis a Hard Matter for a Man to be Honest and Safe; for his very Charity and Good Nature Exposes, if it does not Betray him._

REFLEXION.

No Treachery so Mortal, as That which Covers it self under the Masque of Sanctity. A _Wolfe_ does a Great deal more Mischief in a _Sheep-Skin_, then in his _Own Shape_ and _Colour_. The _Mouse_ that took this _Cat_ for a _Saint_, has very Good Company, not only in her Mistake, but in her Misfortune too: For we have seen a whole Assembly of These _Mousing Saints_, that under the Masque of Zeal, Conscience, and Good Nature, have made a Shift to lay, I know not how many Kingdoms in Blood and Ashes.

FAB. CCCXIX.

A _Boar_ and a _Fox_.

As a _Boar_ was Whetting his Teeth against a Tree, up comes a _Fox_ to him. Pray what do you mean by That? (says he) for I see no Occasion for’t. Well, says the _Boar_, but I do; for when I come once to be Set upon, ’twill be too Late for me to be Whetting, when I should be Fighting.

FAB. CCCXX.

A _Wolfe_ and a _Porcupine_.

Your _Porcupine_ and your _Hedg-Hog_ are somewhat Alike, only the Former has longer and sharper Prickles then the Other; And these Prickles he can shoot, and Dart at an Enemy. There was a _Wolfe_ had a Mind to be Dealing with him, it he could but get him Disarm’d first; and so he told the _Porcupine_ in a friendly Way, That it did not look so well for People in a Time of Peace, to go Arm’d, as if they were in a State of War; and so Advis’d him to lay his Bristles aside; for (says he) You may Take them up again at Pleasure. Do you talk of a State of War? says the _Porcupine_, Why That’s my Present Case, and the very Reason of my Standing to my Arms, so long as a _Wolfe_ is in _Company_.

The MORAL of the Two FABLES above.

_No Man, or State can be safe in Peace, that is not always in Readiness to Encounter an Enemy in Case of a War._

REFLEXION.

All Bus’ness that is necessary to be done should be done Betimes: And there’s as little Trouble of doing it In Season too, as Out of Season: Neither is it Effectually done at all, but in the Proper Time of Doing it: So that ’tis Good Discretion, and Good Advice, to provide against Danger beforehand; for he that’s always Ready can never be taken with a _Why not_.

’Tis a piece of Good Councel, in All the Affairs of Humane Life, to take care of Securing our Selves that we may be not either Betray’d, or Surpriz’d: But as it is Wisdom to keep our Selves upon a Guard; so it is Matter of Good Manners also, and Respect; neither to do, nor to say any thing, that may Import a Jealousie or a Distrust. All the Duties of Government and Society; Nay, all Offices, Civil and Religious, where Prudence, Conscience, or Common Faith are concern’d, have their Proper Seasons. ’Tis too late to hinder Mischief when the Opportunity is once past, and therefore the Timing of Things is a Main Point in the Dispatch of All Affairs. There can be no Safe, or Sure Peace, where People are not always in Readiness for War; for the Common Well-being of Mankind, does not so much Depend upon the Faith of Men, and of Governments, as upon the Temporary and Contingent Occasions of Breaking the Peace with Advantage. ’Tis not Publique Justice Alone, that can Uphold a Government, without the Aid of Policy and Councel. Men do Naturally Indulge Those Opinions and Practices, that favour their Pretensions: and ’tis too much to Superadd Powerful Temptations to do Wrong, to the Force of Vicious Inclinations to do it. The _Boar_’s Whetting his Teeth, was only an Act of Necessary _Precaution_, for fear of the Worst: And the _Porcupine_ did Wisely too, in keeping himself upon his Guard when the Enemy was in View.

FAB. CCCXXI.

A _Mouse_ and a _Kite_.

A Simple _Mouse_ had the Fortune to be near at hand when a _Kite_ was taken in a Net. The _Kite_ begg’d of her to try if she could help her out. The _Mouse_ Gnaw’d a Hole in’t, and set her at Liberty; and the _Kite_ Eat up the _Mouse_ for her Pains.

The MORAL.

_Save a Thief from the Gallows and he’ll Cut your Throat._

REFLEXION.

’Tis No New Thing in the World to Return Evil for Good. Nay, there are some Natures so Soure, and so Ungrateful, that they are never to be Oblig’d. All _Kites_ of this Humour do not wear Feathers: Neither do All such _Mice_ wear Long Tails. There are Cases, wherein our Very Tenderness, and Charity, becomes a Snare to us; and there are People too, that fancy No Blood so sweet, as That of the Person to whom they stand Indebted for their Lives and Fortunes: But then if One Man should Cease to be Generous, and Charitable, because Another Man is Sordid, and Ungrateful; It would be much in the Power of the Basest of Vices to Extinguish the most Christian, and Humane of Vertues. These Lewd Examples May however, and Ought to Recommend Prudence and Caution to us; but without Killing, or Quenching Good Nature. There are, ’tis true, some People so Harden’d in Wickedness, as to have No Sense at all of the most Friendly Offices, or the Highest Benefits. Now in these Desperate Cases, a Man is little Better then _Felo-de-se_, that for the Helping of Another, Ventures the Undoing of Himself. Nay, and ’tis somewhat more then a Venture too, when a _Mouse_ lays it self at the Mercy of a _Kite_.

FAB. CCCXXII.

A _Cockle_ and _Jupiter_.