Chapter XII (11)

The Blooming Damozel 26
_Sister Helen._
Apple, and Orange, and Nectarine 70
O Mother Carey, Mother! 70
Mother Eve. _Mabel Peacock_ 70
O, Weary Mother, Drive the Cows to Roost 71
A Twilight Fantasy 71
O, for a Brandy and Soda 71
Butter, and Eggs, and a Pound of Cheese.
_C. S. Calverley_ 71
Paper, and Pens, and a Bottle of Ink 72
Agriculture’s Latest Rôle. _Punch_ 72
O, the Dinner was Fine to see. _Truth_ 72
I would I were a Cigarette 73
Ah Night! Blind Germ of Days to be 73
A Goodly Balance is Fair to see 73
O, London Town 74
Cimabuella. _Bayard Taylor_ 74
A Legend of Camelot. _Punch_ 75
_The Leaf_
Imitazione 75
De la tige détachée 75
Thou Poor Leaf. _Lord Macaulay_ 75
_Remember_, by Miss Christina Rossetti 76
Remember it. _Judy_ 76
Ding Dong. _The Light Green_ 76

George R. Sims.

_Ostler Joe._ (By Permission) 35
Teamster Jim. _R. J. Burdette_ 37
“Ostler Joe” and Mrs. J. B. Potter 37
Hustler Jim 37
_Billy’s Rose_, (By Permission.) 38
Billy’s Nose. _F. Rawkins_ 39
_The Lifeboat._
The Tricycle. _Cassell’s Journal_ 39
The Terror of Tadger’s Rents 40
Another “Bagonet” Ballad 40
The Ballad Monger 43
Little Flo’. _Truth_ 43
The Coster’s Plea 44
_The Lights of London Town_ 42
Those Wights of London Town 42
The Lights o’ Ascot Heath 42
Sally 44
Christmas Day in the Beer House 45
A Coster’s Conversion 45

Slang, Cant, and Flash Songs.

The House Breaker’s Song 271
Nix my Dolly, Pals, Fake away 271
Dear Bill, this Stone Jug 271
The Chick-a-Leary Cove 272
The Thieves’ Chaunt 272
Dartmoor is a tidy place 272
Joe quickly his sand had Sold 272
Millbank for thick shins 272
The Beggar’s Curse (1609) 273
Clear out――Look sharp 273
Frisky Moll’s Song 273
Ye Morts and ye Dells 274
Ode to the King of the Mendicants 274
Oath of the Canting Crew 274
Life and Death of the Darkman’s Budge 274
The Game of High Toby 275
The Double Cross 275
Flash Anecdote, and Translation 275
The Leary Man 276
Song of the Young Prig 276
Death of Socrates 277
’Arry at a Political Picnic 277
Life in Gaol. _The Chequers_ 279
The Twenty Craftsmen 279
Retoure my Dear Dell 280
The Pickpockets’ Chaunt 280
A Cant Handbill 281
W. H. Ainsworth on Slang and Cant 281
The Printer’s Epitaph 282
Books of Reference on Slang and Cant 282
Continental Books on “Argot,” or Slang 285
American and Colonial Slang 285

Algernon Charles Swinburne.

_Before the Beginning of Years_ 1
American Parody 1
Before the Beginning of Post 1
Now in the Railway Years 2
_For Winter’s Rains and Ruins are Over_ 2
For Mayfair’s Balls and Ballets are over 2
_Dolores and Poems and Ballads_ 2
When Waters are Rent with Commotion 2
Pain and Travel. _Fun_ 5
Our Lady Champagne. _Judy_ 6, 26
Mosquitos Again. _J. B. Stephens_ 6
Brandy and Soda. _H. Howard_ 7
Our M.D. of Spain. _Punch_ 7
Octopus. _The Light Green_ 8
Procuratores. _Shotover Papers_ 8
Oh, Vanished Benevolent Bobby 8
Oh, Nymph with the Nicest of Noses 9
O Blood-bitten Lip all Aflame 16
Stylites. _Walter Parke_ 18
Thou Magpie and Stump 22
The Days of the Dunces are Over 31
All pale from the past we draw nigh thee 33
“Disgust,” a Parody of “Despair” 22
O Season supposed of all Free Flowers 22
I trow, Wild Friends. _S. K. Cowan_ 23
Ah! Love, if Love lie still. _J. M. Lowry_ 23
Also Thine Eyes were Mild 23
The God and the Damosel, 1879. _The World_ 23
Soft is the Smell of it 24
I See the Sad Sorrow 24
A. C. Swinburne and Victor Hugo 25
The Pigmy and Portative Horner 26
I Sing of the Months 27
I am the Lady of Shalott 27
Strophes from a Song after Moonrise 28
Is not this the First Lord of Your Choice? 31
_The Ballad of Burdens_ 3
A Burden of Foul Weathers 3
The Burden of Strange Seasons 4
The Burden of Long Fielding 4
The Burden of Hard Hitting 5
The Burden of Old Women 5
How Jack Harris became Æsthetic 17
The Lay of Macaroni. _Bayard Taylor_ 17
To Ada I. Menken. _The Tomahawk_ 18
Parody of A. C. S. by Mortimer Collins 19
“O Cool in the Summer is Salad.” 19
Between the Gate Post and the Gate 21
A Song after Sunset 21
Oh, April Showers 21
“The Heptalogia.” _Nephelidia_ 21
_Ballad of Dreamland._
I hid my Head on a Rug from Moses 17
The Sorest stress of the Season’s over 18
She hid herself in the _Soirée_ Kettle 16
_A Century of Roundels_ 25
Far-fetched and dear bought 25
What Gain were mine 25
Magician of Song and of Sound 25
A Trio of Roundels 26
_March._ An Ode 26
Another Ode to March 27
_The Commomweal_ 29
_The Question_ 29
The Answer. _The Daily News_ 29
The “Question” answered. _Truth_ 29
_A Match._
“If Love were what the Rose is” 9
If You were Queen of Bloaters 9
If Life were never Bitter. _M. Collins_ 10
If you were an Elector. _E. Hamilton_ 10
If you were what your Nose is 10
If I were Big Nat Langham. _Punch_ 11
I am your Dr. Jekyll 11
If it be but a Dream or a Vision 16
If I were Anglo-Saxon. _Punch_ 20
If Love were dhudeen olden 141
_The Interpreters_ 11
Parodies from _The Weekly Dispatch_ 12
Imparadised by my Environment 13
Parody from _The Family Herald_ 13
Home, Sweet Home, _à la_ Swinburne 13
Short Space shall be Hereafter 14
Vaccine after _Faustine_ 14
A Song after Sunset. _Judy_ 15
The Mad, Mad Muse. _R. J. Burdette_ 15
I have made me an End of the Moods 16
_Clear the Way!_ 30
Rail Away! _Punch_ 30
_A Word for the Navy_ 30
A Word for the Poet 30
The Palace of Bric-à-Brac 32
Baby, see the flowers! 32
England, what of the fight? 32
Oh, thy swift, subtle, slanting, services 32
Mr. Swinburne’s prose writings 32, 205
The Session of the Poets. _R. Buchanan_ 33
Paddy Blake on Swinburne 34
An Utter Passion uttered Utterly. _Kottabos_ 81
Lines on a Dead Dog. _College Rhymes_ 204
The Song of Sir Palamede. _H. G. Cone_
“With flow exhaustless of alliterate words.” 205

Martin Farquhar Tupper.

Cuthbert Bede’s Parody 89
The Queen of Oude 89
Beer, that hath entered my head 90
Philosophy of Sausages 90
The Fall of Tupper 90
Going to the Wash 90
Tupper in the Clouds. _Andrew Lang_ 90
The Welcome to the Princess Alexandra 168

Oscar Wilde.

Biographical Memoranda 78
Sala on “Requiescat” 78
A Villanelle, after Oscar Wilde 66
There’s _Oscar Wylde_, that Gifted Chylde 79
What a Shame and what a Pity 79
Narcissus in Camden. _The Century_ 79
Oscar Wilde and Walt Whitman 79
Oscar Interviewed. _Punch_ 80
Sainte Margérie. _An Imitation_ 81
Oh, fainting of Lilies with broken stem 81
Meseem’d that Love. _Kottabos_ 81
Consummate Dish! full many an ancient Crack 81
Impressions, by Oscuro Wildegoose 81
A List of Parodies on O. W. 82
The Public House 82
Five-and-Seventy Maidens, free 82
A Barrel of Beer and a Glass of Gin hot 83
Sing hey! Potatoes and Paint. _H. C. Waring_ 83

――――

ARNOLD, MATTHEW. _The Forsaken Merman_ 200
The Saturday Review on Arnold’s poems 200
Parody by W. H. Mallock 200
Christmas Thoughts. _The World_ 201
BLOOMFIELD, ROBERT. The Bishop’s wish. _Punch_ 192
The Pot Boy. _C. Thirlwall_ 192
BUTLER, SAMUEL. Parodies and Imitations of Hudibras 259
CALVERLEY, C. S. On the River 84
COLLINS, MORTIMER. The Birds 19
Oh, Summer said to Winter 206
Lady, very fair are you 206
Careless Rhymer, it is True 206
COMIC History of England. In verse 207
CORNWALL, BARRY. The Omnibus 322
COUNTRY Quarter Session. _Three or Four Parsons_ 203
Two or three facts 203
Two or three “dears” 203
CRABBE, REV. G. The Theatre. _Rejected Addresses_ 94
CROSS Readings 287
CUMULATIVE Parodies 270
DARWIN, DR. ERASMUS. _Now stood Eliza_ 198
Parody on above from _Diogenes_ 199
_The Loves of the Plants._ The Loves of the Triangles 199
The Loves of the Lowlier Plants 200
Natural Selection. Founded on Darwin 200
Miss, I’ m a Pensive Protoplasm. _S. Brooks_ 200
Parody Epitaph on Darwin 200
ÆSTHETIC School, The 69
FITZGERALD, W. T. _Britons to Arms!_ 95
Loyal Effusion. _Rejected Addresses_ 96
GAY’S “Beggar’s Opera. Parodies of songs in 198
GEORGE BARNWELL. Parody, _Rejected Addresses_ 96
“Sam,” by _Shirley Brooks_ 97
HEBER, DR. REGINALD. _From Greenland’s icy Mountains_ 98
From Cashmere’s icy Mountains 98
Address to Women Missionaries 98
From Chatham’s pleasant Mountains 99
HORACES’S Odes.
Buttons you booby. _Shirley Brooks_ 197
On the Commencement of Term 197
Thackeray’s Versions 198
November, 1858 198
Railway Horace 198
INGELOW, MISS JEAN. _The Apple-Woman’s Song_ 195
Calverley’s Parodies of above 196
Lovers, and a Reflection 196
The Shrimp Gatherers. _Bayard Taylor_ 196
The Letter L. _Daily News_ 197
I AM COLONEL NORTH of the Horse Marines,
_Financial News_ 203
JOHNSON, DR. SAMUEL. Ode to a Girl in the Temple, 1777 188
Parody of Dr. Johnson’s “Prologue” for Drury Lane
in 1847 188
LAST Arrival, The. _G. W. Cable_ 270
LEIGH, HENRY S. _The Twins_ 100
In the Strand. _Judy_ 100
LORNE, MARQUIS OF. _Guido and Lita_ Parodied 202
LOST Chord, The. The Lost Chord. _G. R. Sims_ 45
The Lost Shot. _Corporal_ 45
The Legislative Organ 128
LYTTELTON’S Ode, & a Parody by Tobias Smollett 187
MACARONIC Poems. The Death of the Sea Serpent 327
MALLET, David. _William and Margaret_ 91
French and Latin Versions 92
Dr. Johnson’s Ghost 92
Giles Scroggin’s Ghost 93
A Polished Version of the same 93
MOCK Heroic Poems, and Imitations of the Dunciad 179
MORRIS, LEWIS. _The Imperial Institute Ode_ 99
The Ode as it ought to have been. _Truth_ 99
Poet and Poetaster. _The Star_ 100
MORRIS, WILLIAM. The Volsung Tale 26
Behold the Works of W. Morris 76
In the Cushioned Abbey Pew 76
All Sides of the River. _Once a Week_ 77
The Monthly Parodies, after Morris’s
“Earthly Paradise.” _Gleeson White_ 77
NUTSHELL Novels 202
OLDEST Classical Burlesque Battle of the Frogs and Mice 328
PATMORE, COVENTRY. The Baby in the House. _S. Brooks_ 194
The Spoons. _Puppet Show Album_ 195
The Person of the House. _Heptalogia_ 229
Poetical Criticism from the _Athenæum_ 229
PYGMALION; or, the Statue Fair. _Hornet_ 326
ROWE, NICHOLAS. _Colin’s Complaint_ 186
Corydon Querens 186
A Parody by _George Canning_ 187
Bow Bells. _Henry S. Leigh_ 187
SCOTT, CLEMENT W. _The Women of Mumble’s Head._
The Wreck of the steamship “Puffin” 46
_A Tale of the 10th Hussars_, and a Parody on it 46
The Garden of Sleep 46
SCOTT, SIR WALTER. Paddy Dunbar. (_Young Lochinvar_) 161
O’SHAUGHNESSY. ARTHUR W. E.
Blue Moonshine. _F. G. Stokes_ 83
Frangipanni. _Judy_ 83
On the River 84
SPENSER, EDMUND. List of works written in the
Spenserian stanza. _J. Bouchier_ 189
The Alley. _Alexander Pope_ 189
The Holidayer. _Funny Folks_ 189
STERRY J. ASHBY. Georgy 84
The Muse in Manacles 64
SWIFT, JONATHAN. The State Coach 190
The Happy Life of a Country Parson. _A. Pope_ 191
The Logicians Refuted. _O. Goldsmith_ 191
A New Simile. _O. Goldsmith_ 191
TENNYSON, ALFRED. King Arthur, growing very tired 20
The Cigar-Smokers 142
Nicotina. (_Oriana_) 144
The Weed. (_The Brook_) 145
“VERNON AVICK.” Song on Sir W. Vernon Harcourt 34
WATTS, DR. How Doth the Nasty Dirty Man 138
’Twas the Voice of the Doctor 138
WHITE, HENRY KIRKE. _It is not that my Lot is low_ 188
It is not that my “Place” was low 188
WILSON’S _Isle of Palms_, imitated by James Brown 192

Transcriber’s Note:

This book was written in a period when many words had not become standardized in their spelling. Words may have multiple spelling variations or inconsistent hyphenation in the text. These have been left unchanged unless indicated below.

Words and phrases in italics are surrounded by underscores, _like this_. Obvious printing errors, such as backwards, upside down, unprinted or partially printed letters, were corrected. Final stops missing at the end of sentences and abbreviations were added. Duplicate words at line endings or page breaks were removed.

Footnotes were renumbered sequentially and were moved to the end of the book. There are two anchors to Footnote [47]. Anchors for [286] and [322] were unprinted; anchors were added where they may belong.

Illustrated drop capitals letters at beginnings of paragraphs are indicated thus: n the beginning.

Unprinted diacriticals were added to words in languages other than English. Use of quotation marks is not standardized; minor adjustments were made for clarity of text. Extraneous punctuation was deleted.

The St. James’s Street ballad and its parody are presented in sequence, not side by side.

Spelling corrections:

shall the mandate he/be spoken
first appeared in the colums/columns
in lines of unequal lengths ocasionally/occasionally
the/she sit down and weep,
Michelstown’s/Mitchelstown’s murderous shot
bicylist/bicyclist to his lamp:
Dose schillen did ask it, dot schoolemaster/schoolmaster
written by H. B. Farmie/Farnie
Keats’s ‘Imitation of Spencer/Spenser
And as, forsooth, such cates/cakes
Swowflakes/Snowflakes white,
friend of mine took notige/notice of
shamless/shameless, unreasonable, treasonable
man with hugh/huge bush of beard
and on potatoe/potato cans
sandy loams of Cambridshire/Cambridgeshire
magnificently-dessicated/desiccated veins
The formost/foremost wins!
apophthegm/apothegm
we shall now Retreive/Retrieve
Luxurously/Luxuriously rolling in coaches
Superviser/Supervisor the servant
insufficent/insufficient to prevent it
preface to the Pantomine/Pantomime
copywright/copyright