Chapter XLIII: Letter XLII: To Mr. M

February 9, 1777.

ZOUNDS! if alive--what ails you? if dead--why did you not send me word?--Where’s my Tristram?--What, are all bucks alike!--all promise, and no--but I won’t put myself in a passion--I have but one foot, and no head--go-to--why, what a devil of a rate dost thou ride at anathematizing and reprobating poor ----! pho! thou simpleton--he deserves thy pity--and whoever harbours a grain of contempt for his fellow-creatures--either in the school of poverty or misfortune--that Being is below contempt--and lives the scorn of men--and shame of devils.--Thou shalt not think evil of ----; nor shall he, either by word or thought, dispraisingly speak or think of M----.

In regard to thy N----, thou art right--guard her well--but chiefly guard her from the traitor in her own fair breast, which, while it is the seat of purity and unsullied honor--fancies its neighbours to be the same--nor sees the serpent in the flowery foliage--till it stings--and then farewell sweet peace and its attendant riches.

I have only time to thank you for the leaves, and to lament your want of perspicuity in writing.--My love to George when you see him--and two loves to Nancy--tell her I could fold her to my bosom with the same tender pressure I do my girls--shut my eyes--draw her to my heart--and call her Daughter!--and thou, monkey-face, write me a decent letter--or you shall have another trimming from yours,

I. SANCHO.

Look’ye Sir, I write to the ringing of the shop-door bell--I write--betwixt serving--gossiping--and lying. Alas! what cramps to poor genius!

For THE GENERAL ADVERTISER.

The outline of a plan for establishing a most respectable body of
Seamen to the number 20,000, to be ever ready for the manning a
fleet upon twelve days notice.

THE proposer is humbly of opinion, that his plan is capable of many wholesome improvements, which he thinks would prove no unprofitable study, even to the Lords of the Admiralty.

Ist, Let the number of seamen, now upon actual service, be each man inrolled upon his Majesty’s books, at the rate of 5_l._ _per annum_ for life; let them also receive the same quarterly, or half-yearly, upon personal application.

IIdly, Let books be opened for them in all his Majesty’s different yards and sea ports, and there their dwelling, age, time they have served, &c. to be fairly entered; each man to bring a certificate from his ship, signed by the captain, or some one he shall please to depute.

IIIdly, As an encouragement to his Majesty’s service and population at the same time, let there be instituted in each of the ship-yards, or ports, &c. of these Kingdoms, a kind of asylum, or house of refuge, for the sons of these honest tars, to be received therein at the age of six years; there to be taught navigation, or, after the common school learning, to be bound to such parts of ship-building as they by nature are most inclined to; such as chuse sea service, to be disposed on board his Majesty’s ships at fifteen years old, and to be enrolled upon the pension-books after ten years faithful service, unless better provided for.

Might not there be some plan hit on to employ the daughters, as well as sons of poor sailors? Does not our Fisheries (if they should ever happen to be attended to) open many doors of useful employment for both sexes?

To defray the above, I would advise the following methods:

First, The pension of 5_l._ _per_ man for 20,000, amounts only to 100,000_l._: let this be taken from the Irish list; it will surely be better employed, than in the present mode for Pensioners of noble blood.

Secondly, Let the book and office keepers at the different yards, ports, &c. be collected from under-officers who have served with reputation; it will be a decent retreat for them in the evening of life, and only a grateful reward for past service.

May some able hand, guided by a benevolent heart, point out and strongly recommend something of this sort, that the honoured name of England may be rescued from the scandalous censure of man-stealing, and from the ingratitude also of letting their preservers perish in the time of peace!

I am, Sir, yours, &c.

+Africanus.+