Chapter CV: Letter CIII: To Mrs. W----E

Charles Street, Sept. 5, 1779.

DEAR MADAM,

YOUR wonder will be equal to your indignation--when--(after due apologies for the liberty of this address--and a few good-natured protestations of friendship and so forth--with an injunction to strict secresy) I inform you that it is absolutely necessary for your immediate setting out for Red-lion Court.--Your good man is only running after all the young gypsies about the neighbourhood--all colours--black or fair--are alike;--this is the effect of country air--and your nursing.--The good man made his appearance on Thursday evening last--the glow of health in his face--joy in his eyes.--“Wife, Joe, and little Frank all well, and myself never better in my life;”--a pretty girl he led by the hand--and, as if one petticoat plague was not enough, he insisted upon taking away two of mine--and carried his point against every reasonable odds: away they all went to the play--and God only knows where else--I threatened him with a modest report to Melchbourn, but he seemed to care very lightly about it;--so I humbly advise, as your best method of taming him, either to insist upon his speedily coming down to you--or else your immediate setting out for home:--at present he only attempts our daughters--but, should you be absent a month longer, I tremble for our wives;--for my part, I have some reason, for here both wife and daughters are as fond of Mr. W----e as they dare own--Seriously, I think, you should coax him down, if only for a fortnight; for it is amazing how much better he is for the short time he was absent--and this I take to be the pleasantest and wholesomest time for the country, if the evening dews are carefully guarded against--I shall advise him strongly to take the other trip--and I trust your documents, with the innocent simplicity of all around him--fine air--exercise--new milk--and the smell of new hay--will make him ten thousand times worse than he is--you won’t like him the worse for that. My love attends cousins I---- and F----.

I am, dear Madam,
most sincerely yours to command,

IGNATIUS SANCHO.

Mrs. Sancho joins me in every thing but the abuse of Mr. W----e.