Chapter V: Part 5

_Sexte, diu mecum morbo vexaris eodem,
Humores acres nos cruciare solent.
Cum mihi sit morbus circum præcordia versans,
Exosus, querulus, difficilisque vocor.
At te ægrotantem plorant, miserantur amici,
In pedibus morbi vis quia tota sedet.
Comiter excusant te, cum saltare recusas,
Immunem clamant, namque podagra tenet.
Inter convivas at me cantare negantem,
Fastosum, querulum, difficilemque vocant.
Cum minus ardua res tibi sit saltatio, Sexte,
Quam sit cardiaco psallere sæpe mihi._

I departed from _Mutak_, and crossing over a Lake of a yellow Hue, I arriv’d at _Mikrok_, and proceeding to the capital City, I found the Gate shut. I was oblig’d to wait till the drowsy Centinel was pleas’d to open it, which was some considerable Time, it being secur’d with a Multitude of Locks, Bolts, and Bars. Entring, I observ’d a deep Silence reign throughout the whole City, except that my Ears were now and then assaulted by a Noise as of People snoring. I could not help fancying I was got into the Region of Sleep, as the Poets talk. Would to God, says I to myself, that several of the Magistrates, Senators, and a few other honest Countrymen of mine, who are dear Lovers of Peace, had had the Luck to be born in this blessed City! How sweetly and quietly would they live! And yet from the Signs in the Streets, and Inscriptions on the Houses, it was evident, that Arts and Sciences were not unknown here, and that Laws were exercis’d. Led by these Signs, I found out an Inn. No Entrance to be had. The Doors were all fast. And tho’ it was Noon with the rest of the World, it should seem it was Night to the Inhabitants of this City. At last, after having knock’d and bounc’d a long while, I was let in. Time is here divided into twenty-three Hours; nineteen of them are sacred to Sleep, the other four to Business. Suspecting, therefore, these People to be monstrously negligent both in their publick and private Affairs, I desir’d something to be brought me to eat, which they had ready in the House, fearing, if I had order’d any Thing to be dress’d, the Cook should fall asleep while it was about. But all Things are here done in the concisest and most compendious Manner; every Thing superfluous is omitted; and therefore this diminutive Day of theirs is long enough for all Sorts of Business. After Dinner, which was brought upon Table with a surprizing Expedition, my Host waited on me round the City. We went into a Temple, where we heard a Discourse, short indeed, with respect to the Time, but long enough considering its Importance. The Preacher went directly to his Subject. He us’d no Flourishes, no Tautologies, nor said one superfluous Thing. So that when I compare this Discourse with the long nauseous ones of Master _Petre_, the former is in Reality more copious than the latter. With the same Brevity Proceedings in Law are dispatch’d: The Advocates say all in few Words, and then produce their Witnesses. I remember to have seen a Copy of a Treaty of Alliance between this and a neighbouring Kingdom. It was couch’d in these Terms: _Let there be perpetual Friendship between the_ Mikrekians _and_ Splendikanians. _Let the Limits of the two Kingdoms be the River_ Klimac, _and the Top of Mount_ Zabor. _Sign’d_, &c. Thus in three Lines they express, what with us would require a Volume. Hence I am persuaded one may come to the Point with less Noise and less Loss of Time, if Superfluities were to be retrench’d; as a Traveller would find his Journey half as short again, were he always to go directly strait. The Natives here are Cypresses, and are distinguish’d from other Trees by Wens in their Forehead, which Wens have a stated Increase and Decrease. When they increase, a certain Humour distils from them, which falling upon the Eyes brings on a Drowsiness, and is an Indication of the approaching Night.

From hence to _Makrok_ is one Day’s Journey. Here the Inhabitants never sleep. Entring into the City, I stopp’d a Person, tho’ he seem’d to be in Haste, and begg’d he would be pleas’d to direct me to a good Inn. He reply’d he was very busy, and made the best of his Way forward. So great was the general Hurry of this Place, that they seem’d not to walk thro’ the Streets, but to run or fly, as if they were afraid of being too late. The least I could think was, that some Part of the City was on Fire, or that some other sudden and unlook’d for Disaster had frighted the Citizens out of their Senses. At last I cast my Eyes upon a Sign before a House, which signify’d it was an Inn. Here some were entring, others departing, others stumbling for Haste, insomuch that I was a Quarter of an Hour bustling in the Yard before I could gain Admittance. In a Moment I was ask’d a Multitude of impertinent Questions. One said, Where do you come from? Where are you going to? How long do you stay here? Another said, Will you dine alone, or with Company? If the latter, what Room will you dine in, the red, the green, the white, or the black Room? Or will you dine above Stairs, or below? with a thousand Impertinences of this Kind. My Host, who was a Clerk of one of the inferior Courts of Justice here, went away to Dinner, but soon return’d, and then gave me a long tedious Account of a Law-Suit that had been depending these ten Years, the Hearing of which was now coming on before the fourteenth Court. He told me, he hop’d it would be ended within two Years, since there were but two Courts remaining, beyond which there was no Appeal. He left me in great Astonishment, and convinc’d me, that this Nation was extremely busy in doing nothing. When my Landlord was gone, I walk’d about the House, and by Chance dropt upon a Library. It was large and well stock’d, with respect to the Number of Books, but a very indifferent one with respect to the Contents. Among those Books, which to Appearance were in best Condition, I observ’d the following,

1. Description of the Cathedral 24 Vols.
2. Relation of the Siege of _Pehunc_ 36 Vols.
3. Of the Use of the Herb _Slac_ 13 Vols.
4. Funeral Oration upon the Death of Senator _Jacksi_ 18 Vols.

My Landlord, at his Return to me, entertain’d me with a Description of the State of the City; and from what he said, I concluded that more Business was transacted by the sleepy _Mikrokians_, than by the waking _Makrokians_; that these play’d with the Shell, while the other eat the Kernel. The People here too are all Cypresses, and as to the outward Make of their Bodies, differ very little from the _Mikrokians_, excepting the Wens upon their Foreheads. They have not the same Blood or Juice in their Bodies which other Trees of this Globe have, but instead of Blood, they have a thicker Juice in their Veins, which is of a mercurial Quality and Appearance. Nay some think it is Quicksilver itself, inasmuch as in a Barometer it is found to have the same Effect.

At the Distance of about two Days Journey from hence lies the Republick of _Siklok_, which is divided into two Societies, in Alliance with each other, but govern’d by different and opposite Laws. The first is call’d _Miho_, founded by _Mihac_, a famous Lawgiver of old, and the _Lycurgus_ of the _Subterraneans_. In order to render his Republick stronger and more lasting, he made sumptuary Laws, which forbid all Luxury on the severest Penalties. And accordingly this Society, for its great Continence and Parsimony, may be justly call’d another _Sparta_. One Thing I wonder’d at, and that was, that in a Government so well constituted, and which piqu’d itself upon the Excellence of its Laws, there should be so many Beggars. For wherever I turn’d my Eyes, there was a Tree begging an Alms, which is a very troublesome Thing to Travellers. Upon a nice Inspection into the State of the Republick, I was convinc’d, that these Miseries flow’d from the too great Œconomy of the People. For all Luxury being proscrib’d, and the Rich baulking their Genius, and giving into no Indulgences, the common People of course must lead an indolent, idle, and beggarly Life, for want of Matter to make a proper Gain of. I concluded from hence, that rigid Parsimony in a State produces the same Inconveniences as an Obstruction of the Blood in a human Body. In the other Province, that of _Liho_, they live splendidly and jovially, and spare no Expence. Here Arts and Professions flourish; the People are encourag’d to Industry, and every Citizen has an Opportunity to raise a Fortune. Whoever is poor among them may fairly impute it to his own Negligence. Thus the Profusion of the Rich gives Life to the Body politick, as the Circulation of the Blood in the human Body gives Strength and Vigour to the Limbs.

The Territory of _Lama_ borders upon this. Here is the celebrated School of Physicians. With so much Ardour is the Study of Physick here pursued, that none are look’d upon as genuine Doctors, unless they come from the illustrious School of _Lama_. And hence this City is crouded with so many Doctors, that you see more of them than of all other Sorts of People put together. Whole Streets are fill’d with Shops of Apothecaries, and anatomical Instrument-Makers. Loitering about the City, I met a Tree offering to Sale the Bills of Mortality for the Year last past. I bought one of them, and to my great Surprize found the Births and Burials stand thus: Born fifty; buried six hundred. I could not conceive that in a Place, where _Apollo_ himself seem’d to have fix’d his Residence, there should be such a yearly Havock among the Citizens. I ask’d the Tree what unusual Plague or Pestilence had rag’d in the City the last Year. He reply’d, that two Years ago the Number of the Deceas’d was greater, that this was the common Proportion between the Births and Burials, and that the Inhabitants of _Lama_ were perpetually afflicted with Distempers, which hasten’d their Deaths; insomuch that in a short Time the City would be empty, if it were not supplied and recruited from the neighbouring Provinces. Upon this I hurry’d out of the City, not thinking it prudent to stay longer here, especially as the Name of a Physician, and the Sight of the anatomical Instruments, after what I had suffer’d in the Country of Philosophers, could not be very agreeable. Therefore leaving this Place, I never stopt, till I came to a Town four Miles distant, where the People live without Physicians, and without Diseases. In the Space of two Days, I arriv’d at the _Land of Liberty_. The People here are accountable to no Authority. They consist of separate Families, without being subject to any Laws or Power whatsoever. Yet an Appearance of Society is preserv’d, and in publick Matters they consult the Seniors, who perpetually exhort them to Peace and Unanimity, and admonish them never to depart from that primary Precept of Nature, of _doing to others, as you would be done by_. On all the Gates of the Cities and Villages a Statue of Liberty is erected trampling upon Chains and Fetters, with this Inscription over the Head, GOLDEN LIBERTY. In the first City I enter’d, all was quiet enough; yet I observ’d some of the Citizens distinguish’d themselves by certain Ribbands which they wore, and which, as I afterward understood, were Marks and Symbols of two Factions which then divided the People. The Avenues and Court-Yards of the Houses of the Great were lin’d with arm’d Soldiers, who always held themselves in Readiness, because the Truce being about two Days ago expir’d, the War was upon breaking out afresh. I fled away trembling as fast as I could, nor thought myself free, till I had convey’d myself out of Sight of this Land of Liberty.

The next Province is _Jochtan_, of which I had heard a short Description, which very much alarm’d me, and led me to think it must be the Seat of Disorder, Confusion, and Insecurity. For this Country was the Sink and Receptacle of all Religions. All the several Principles and Doctrines which prevail in any Part of this Globe, retire here as to their Center, and are taught publickly. Recollecting, therefore, what Troubles had been excited in _Europe_ by religious Differences, I was almost afraid to approach the capital City, the several Streets and Portions of which have all Churches and Temples for different and opposite Sects. But my Fears soon vanish’d, when I observ’d a profound Agreement and Concord reign in every Part. With respect to their Politicks, there was the same Face, the same Sentiments, the same Tranquillity, and the same Care in all. For as the Laws made it capital for one Member of the State to disturb another in his Way of Worship, or to molest him upon Account of any religious Difference, hence whatever Dissensions they had were without the least Appearance of Hostility, their Disputes were without Bitterness or Invectives, and they had no Aversions, because they had no Persecutions. There was a perpetual, but very honest and worthy Emulation among the several Sects, every one of which endeavour’d to demonstrate the Excellence of their Religion by the Purity of their Life and Morals. Thus by the Wisdom of the Magistrate, all these different Sentiments excited no more Troubles in the State, than did the different Shops of the Artists and Merchants in the _Forum_, where the Buyers are invited by the sole Goodness of the Commodity, and where they use neither Fraud, Force, or Disparagement. By these Means, the least Seed of Discord is stifled in the Birth, and that Sort of Emulation only encourag’d, which is honourable in itself, and advantageous to the State. This convinc’d me, that the religious Troubles which reign in many Places arise not from the Variety of Religions, but from Persecution alone. A sensible and learned _Jochtanian_ explain’d to me more at large the Genius of this Government, and the Causes of its Tranquillity. I heard him with Rapture, and his Observations I shall keep engrav’d on the Table of my Heart. I did indeed, for some Time, make Replies and Objections to him, but was at last forc’d to own myself vanquish’d, since he irresistibly prov’d all his Points by Arguments drawn from Experience. Asham’d, therefore, to contradict my Senses, and give the Lie to positive Matter of Fact, I was forc’d to own, that Liberty of Belief was the true Fountain of this Tranquillity and Concord. However, once more I attack’d my Adversary with an Argument different from all I had us’d. I told him it was the Duty of a Lawgiver, in erecting a Government, to regard the future, rather than the present Happiness of Mortals, and that he should conform his Scheme not so much to their Palate as to the Laws of God. To this he reply’d in this Manner: “My good Friend, says he, you are greatly deceiv’d, if you imagine that God, the Fountain of Truth, can be pleas’d with dissembled Worship. In other Nations, where all are oblig’d by publick Authority to one certain Rule of Faith, what a Door is open’d for Ignorance and Hypocrisy! Few, or none, have the Will or the Courage to discover their true Sentiments, and so they profess one Thing, and believe another. This makes the Study of Divinity a cold, lifeless Thing, and begets a Negligence in the Discovery of Truth. This also makes profane Learning more cultivated: For the Priests themselves, lest they should be branded with the Title of Hereticks, relinquish the Pursuit of sacred Things, and divert their Studies to other Subjects, where their Minds may range without Danger, and where their Liberty is not fetter’d. The Vulgar will still condemn all who depart from the reigning Doctrines. But Hypocrites and Dissemblers must be hateful to God, to whom a sincere, tho’ erroneous Belief, must be infinitely less displeasing than an orthodox, but pretended Faith.” Hearing this, I kept Silence, unable to dispute the Point any longer with so wise a People.

I had now been almost two Months out upon my Travels, when at last I arriv’d at _Tumbac_, a Territory contiguous to the _Potuan_ Dominions. I thought myself now at home, my wearisome Journey being almost finish’d. The Inhabitants of this Region are chiefly Wild Olives, extremely devout, and extremely censorious. In the first Inn I enter’d, I waited two Hours for my Breakfast, knocking and calling for it almost all that Time in vain. The Reason of this Delay, was the unseasonable Devotion of my Host, who would not, for the World, put his Hand to the least Thing, till he had finish’d his Morning Prayers.

_Tandem intrans magno porrexit murmure panem
Pallidus, & caulem misero mihi ponit alentem
Lanteram._

However, that Breakfast was one of the dearest in all my Travels, and I protest I never met with a Landlord more devout, or more unmerciful. Well! thought I to myself, this Landlord had better have pray’d less, and been more honest. But I dissembled my Resentment, well knowing how dangerous it is to provoke a Saint. The Citizens here were all _Cato’s_, all Censors of Manners. They walk’d up and down the Streets with pensive Looks and folded Arms, declaiming against the Vanity of the Times, and condemning every innocent Pleasure. Not a Gesture, not a Smile escap’d their Observation. And thus by their perpetual Censures, and envenom’d Zeal, they pass’d for Persons of eminent Sanctity. For my Part, as I was spent and exhausted with Fatigues, I made no Scruple of indulging in several innocent Diversions. But I got a bad Name by so doing, insomuch that every House I enter’d was like a Court of Justice, where I was sure to be arraign’d. Some, when they saw I was not at all mov’d by their Rebukes and Admonitions, shunn’d me like a Plague or a Contagion. I forbear to say more upon the Moroseness of this People: However, one Circumstance I must not omit, because it gives you their exact Character; and from this Sample you may judge of the rest. A certain _Tumbacian_, with whom I had been acquainted at _Potu_, being at an Inn, and seeing me go by, stept out to me, and press’d me to go in. I waited on him. As he had heard that I was far from being an Enemy to Pleasure, he gave me such a Lecture, and upbraided me with my Life and Morals in such Terms, that my Hair stood on End, and every Joint of me shook. But while our _Cato_ was discharging thus the Artillery of his Censures, the Glass had pass’d very insensibly, but very briskly, from one to the other, till in short we both fell fairly fuddled on the Floor, and were carried off half dead. Having slept off this Debauch, and recover’d my Reason, I set myself to examine into the Nature of these People’s Religion; and I made a fair Discovery, that their Zeal flow’d rather from some vicious Humours, or a Predominancy of the bilious Juices, than from true Piety. But I never communicated this to any one, and left them without saying a Word.

At last, after two compleat Months, I arriv’d at _Potu_, so extremely weary with such incessant Exercise, that my Legs had scarce Strength to support my Body. It was on the tenth Day of the Month of _Beeches_ that I enter’d this Capital. I went forthwith to his Serene Highness, and offer’d him my little Historical Collection, which he immediately order’d to be printed. (For it must be noted, that the Art of Printing, of which the _Europeans_ and _Chinese_ boast themselves to be Inventors, was of far greater Antiquity among the _Potuans_.) The People in general were so pleas’d with this Account of my Travels, that they were never weary of reading it. All Day long they were running about the Streets selling my Journal, and crying, as loud as they could, _A Journey round the World, by_ Scabba, _the King’s Messenger_. Elated with this Success, I gave a Loose to my Ambition, and aspir’d to some Employment of greater Weight and Dignity. But seeing my Hopes not quickly answer’d, I preferr’d a new Petition to the Prince, wherein extolling my late Labours, I earnestly implor’d his Highness to vouchsafe me a proper Recompence. The Prince, who was Humanity in the Abstract, was sensibly touch’d with my Case, and graciously promis’d that he would have a due Regard to me. He was as good as his Word: But his whole Favour terminated in the Enlargement of my annual Salary. I thought I had Reason to expect a far better Recompence, and therefore I could not rest contented with this. But as I would not trouble his Highness any further, I open’d my Grief to the Chancellor. He heard me with his usual Humanity, and promis’d me all the good Offices in his Power; but at the same Time admonish’d me to desist from so wild a Petition, and begg’d me to consider the Measure of my Abilities, and the Weakness of my Judgment. “Nature, says he, has been but a Step-Mother to you, and has deny’d you those Powers of the Mind, which are requisite for the more arduous Offices of the State; and therefore you should not aim at what it is not possible for you to procure. Nay, the Prince himself, were he to comply with this weak Request of yours, must suffer in his Fame, as a Violator of the Laws. Rest contented therefore with your Condition, and renounce a Hope, which Nature has made unreasonable.” In Conclusion, he own’d I had some Merit, and particularly extoll’d my late Performance. But it is not, says he, Merit of this Kind that paves the Way to State-Preferment. ’Tis true, you have drawn a very pretty Picture of the World; but if for a Performance of this Kind we were to gratify you with the most honourable Employments, why might not a Painter for drawing a great Likeness, or a Sculptor for exhibiting a Statue in just Proportion, with as much Reason expect to be made a Senator? Merit should doubtless meet with a Recompence, and Rewards should be assign’d to the Deserving; but then they should be Rewards of such a Nature, as that the Commonwealth receive no Detriment, and suffer no Ridicule.

These Admonitions silenc’d me for a While. But as I could not bear to think of growing old in this vile Employ, I resum’d that desperate Resolution, which had laid dormant a long Time, of attempting a Reformation in the State, by which Project I might, at one and the same Time, help forward the publick Good, and my own too.

A little before I set out upon my late Travels, I had closely study’d the Nature of this Government, to see if I could discover any Defects, and at the same Time what Remedies were proper for them. Since that, in the Province of _Cockleku_, I had observ’d that the Government there was in a tottering Condition, by reason of the Admission of Women to the Management of publick Affairs, that Sex being naturally ambitious, still aiming to extend their Power, nor ever resting till they have acquir’d a full and absolute Authority. Hereupon I determin’d to bring in a Bill to exclude that Sex from the Administration of publick Affairs. I flatter’d myself I should find Multitudes to abet and espouse this Point, since it was an easy Matter to make it very clear, and to shew beyond Contradiction the Misfortunes that flow from this Defect in the State, and the Danger the Male Sex was in, unless the Wings of such an unnatural Power were timely clipt. And if it should so happen, that the Abolition of this ancient Custom should appear to some to be too hazardous an Attempt, in such Case I humbly offer’d, that the Female Power should be at least restrain’d and abridg’d.

This Scheme of mine had three Ends in view. First, to remove an Inconvenience the State labour’d under. Secondly, by producing a Specimen of my Sagacity and Judgment, I had Hopes to mend my Condition. And, thirdly, I thought by these Means to revenge certain Taunts and Affronts I had receiv’d from many of the Females of this Country. I frankly confess, that my own private Interest, and a Desire of Revenge, were the _primum Mobile_ of this Project. But then I artfully conceal’d these Views, lest under a Pretence of publick Good, I should seem only to pursue my own, and so tread in the Steps of other Innovators, whose Schemes breathe nothing but the publick Good, when it is evident to the dullest Observer, that their private Interest is the Spring that moves the whole Machine.

And now, having drest my Project out to the best Advantage, and strengthen’d it by the most powerful Reasons I could invent, I waited upon the Prince, and humbly offer’d it to him. His Highness, who had always testify’d a great Regard to me, was thunderstruck at the Boldness and Folly of my Undertaking, which he foreboded must end in my irreparable Ruin. Wherefore he endeavour’d to dissuade me from this mad Attempt by the strongest Intreaties:

——_Precibusque minas regaliter addit._

I, for my Part, relying as well upon the Utility of my Project, as upon the Favour of the Male Sex (who I was in Hopes would not desert the common Cause) remain’d immovable to all his Highness said, nor could his repeated Admonitions vanquish my Obstinacy. In fine, according to the Custom of the Country, I was brought to the _Forum_, and there, with my Neck in a Halter, I stood waiting the Judgment of the Senate. That venerable Body debated the Matter, and soon came to a Resolution; which Resolution was sent up to the Prince for his Confirmation; and being return’d by him, was read aloud by a publick Officer. It run thus:

“After due Examination, we are of Opinion as follows: That the Project of _Scabba_, the King’s Messenger, to exclude the Female Sex from publick Business, cannot take Effect without the highest Detriment to the Commonwealth, since no less than Half of the Nation, which consists of the said Sex, must look upon this Innovation as a very great Hardship, and their Resentment may occasion infinite Disorders. Moreover we are of Opinion, that it is absurd and unjust, intirely to exclude Trees of the finest Talents from publick Honours, especially as Nature, who does nothing in vain, can never be suppos’d to have given them all those noble Advantages to no Purpose. We are persuaded, that for the Welfare of the State, Regard ought to be had not to the Name, but the Abilities of a Person. And as a Country may often labour under a Want of able Persons, we think it a great Folly, by one Act of Senate, to render one intire Half of the Nation incapable and unworthy of Employment, solely upon Account of their Birth. For these and divers other good Reasons we are of Opinion, that the said _Scabba_, for this foolish and rash Attempt, ought to be punish’d according to the Custom of our Ancestors.”

The Prince was extremely concern’d for my Misfortune, but as he never rescinded the Decree of the Senate, he sign’d it with his own Hand, and affix’d the Royal Seal to it, and commanded it to be made publick, inserting however this mollifying Clause, That as I was a Foreigner, a Native of a new and unknown World, where forward Geniuses are in great Esteem, I should be exempted from capital Punishment. But lest by a total Remission of the Sentence the Laws should suffer an Infringement, it was therefore thought fit to detain me in Prison till the Beginning of the Month of _Birches_, and that then, with other Violators of the Law, I should be banish’d to the Firmament.

This Sentence being publish’d, I was clapt into Prison. Some of my Friends persuaded me to protest against this Sentence, since among my Judges there were so many Matrons and Virgins, all Judges in their own Cause. Some advis’d me, as the safer Way, to make a fair Acknowledgment of my Crime, and lay the Blame upon my own native human Weakness. But this last Advice I rejected with great Constancy, out of Respect to Mankind, upon whose Character such a Confession would leave an indelible Blemish.

I heard soon after, that his Highness had determin’d to give me an absolute Pardon, if I would but only prostrate myself at his Feet, confess my Fault, and implore his Favour, although _Rahagna_ the Treasurer oppos’d that Motion with Might and Main. But, to speak the Truth, I was not displeas’d with the Sentence. For Death was not half so terrible to me as that Employment they pick’d out for me; and I was weary of conversing longer with these Trees, who had so high an Opinion of their Wisdom. I hop’d also to meet with better Treatment in the Firmament, where I had heard, that all Strangers, without Distinction, were kindly receiv’d.

CHAP. X.

_The Author’s Banishment to the_ +Firmament+.

I have hitherto said nothing concerning the strange and very singular Punishment the _Potuans_ have, of banishing to the Firmament: Wherefore I think myself oblig’d in this Place, to give some Account of it.

Twice every Year certain Birds of an enormous Magnitude appear upon this Globe. They are call’d _Cupac_, that is to say, Birds of Post, and at stated Seasons they come and go. It has long perplex’d the Subterranean Naturalists to account for this periodical Visit. Some think they descend upon this Planet in Quest of certain Insects, or large Flies, of which there are prodigious Numbers about this Time of the Year, and of which these Birds are exceedingly voracious. This Opinion is strengthen’d by this Circumstance, that when these Flies disappear, the Birds fly off towards the Firmament. An evident Proof of this we have in other Countries, where Birds by the same Instinct of Nature appear, and for the very same Causes. Others think that these Birds are train’d up and instructed to this very End and Purpose by the Inhabitants of the Firmament, like our Falcons and other Birds of Prey. This Hypothesis receives some Countenance from that Tenderness, Care, and Dexterity, which these Birds use in bringing home their Prey, and laying it gently down before their Masters. Other Circumstances also shew, that these Creatures are either thus instructed, or else that they have a certain Portion of Reason to direct them; for at the Approach of the Season of _Departure_, they are so tractable and tame, that they suffer certain Nets, or small Chains, to be thrown over them, under which they lie quiet for many Days, and are fed out of Hand by the Inhabitants with the aforesaid Flies, of which they take Care to provide a great Quantity for this very Purpose. For it is necessary to keep feeding them till all Things are prepar’d and got ready for those who are to be banish’d. The Apparatus for their Departure is as follows: On those Nets, in which they are intangled, a Box or Cage is fasten’d with Cords. Every Cage is capable of containing one Person. The Time now drawing near, and the Insects failing which supply’d them with Food, the Birds mount upon Wing, and cutting the Air, return to the Place from whence they came. Such was this wonderful Passage, by which I and several other Exiles were to be translated to a new World.

There were also at this Time two Citizens of _Potu_, who for different Crimes were sentenc’d to Banishment, and were now preparing for their Journey. One of these was a Metaphysician, who had incurr’d this Punishment by disputing concerning the Essence of God, and the Nature of spiritual Substances. He had satisfy’d the Law for his first Offence of this Kind, by undergoing the Punishment of _the Arm_; but being a second Time detected, he was condemn’d to be banish’d to the Firmament. The other was a Fanatick, who having conceiv’d some Doubts concerning Religion, and concerning the civil Rights of the State, attempted to subvert the Foundations of each. He refus’d to obey the publick Laws, under Pretence that such Obedience was contrary to the Dictates of his Conscience. His Friends endeavour’d, by the most powerful Arguments, to cure him of this Conceit, by shewing him how many Delusions these Impulses of Conscience and imaginary Inspirations were subject to; they told him, that Zeal and Conscience were often confounded with Melancholy and certain corrupt Humours of the Body; they demonstrated to him the egregious Folly of thus appealing to the Authority of Conscience, and how unjust it was to contend that the Impulses of his Mind should be a Rule to others, who might make use of the same Argument, and oppose Conscience to Conscience. At last they prov’d to him, that whoever firmly held this Principle, pretending Conscience for his Disobedience, ought to be excluded from the Rights and Benefits of the Community, since every good Subject should pay an implicit Obedience to the Laws; but that a Fanatick neither cou’d nor wou’d pay such an Obedience, since his Conscience was his sole Rule of Politicks. But as these Reasons had no Effect upon the Mind of our Fanatick, he continued obstinate and incorrigible, and so was condemn’d to the Firmament. Thus at this Time there were only three of us to undergo this Punishment, a Projector, a Metaphysician, and a Fanatick.

About the Beginning of the Month of _Birches_, we were all carry’d from Prison to separate Places. What became of the Metaphysician and the Fanatick I know not, as being too full of Cares for myself to mind any Thing else. Being brought to the destin’d Place of Departure, I was forthwith thrust into the Box or Cage, with as much Provision as would serve me for two or three Days. Soon after this, when the Birds found no more Flies brought them, as if they took the Hint, they left the Place, and flew off with incredible Celerity. The Distance of the Firmament from the Planet _Nazar_, is reputed by the Subterraneans to be about an hundred Miles. How long I was in passing from the one to the other I cannot say, but to me this ætherial Voyage seem’d to be no more than about four and twenty Hours. After a profound Silence, at last a confus’d Noise seem’d to reach my Ears, from whence I conjectur’d I was not far from Land. Then it was I perceiv’d that these Birds had been carefully exercis’d and instructed; for with great Art and Care they landed their Burden, so as not in the least to injure or hurt it. In a Moment I was surrounded with a prodigious Number of Monkies, the Sight of which put me into a very great Fright, remembring what I had suffer’d from these Animals upon the Planet _Nazar_. But my Fright redoubled, when I heard these Monkies articulately discourse with one another, and when I beheld them clad in diverse-colour’d Vestments. I then conjectur’d that they were the Inhabitants of this Country. But as after that Heap of Wonders I had been accustom’d to, nothing now could well seem new or strange, I began to recover my Courage, especially as I had observ’d that these Creatures approach’d me with an Air of Civility and Good-nature, taking me gently out of my Cage, and receiving me with the Humanity due to Strangers. Even Ambassadors in our World are hardly receiv’d with more Ceremony than I was. They all came one after another, and address’d me in these Words, _Pul Asser_. When they had repeated this Salutation pretty often, I repeated the same Words. Upon this they set up an immoderate Laugh, and by a Multitude of comic Gestures, signify’d they were highly delighted to hear me pronounce them. This made me conclude these People to be a light, babbling Race of Creatures, and vast Admirers of Novelty. When they spoke, you wou’d think so many Drums were beating, with so much Volubility, and so little out of Breath, they held on their Chattering. In a Word, as to Dress, Manners, Speech, and Form of Body, they were the very Reverse of the _Potuans_. At first they were all astonish’d at my Figure, and the chief Reason of that Astonishment was, that I wanted a Tail. For as among the whole Brute Creation none so much resemble the human Form as Monkies, so, had I had a Tail, they would have taken me for one of their own Species, especially as all those who had hitherto been transported from the Planet _Nazar_ to this Place, were of a Form extremely unlike their own. About the Time of my Arrival here the Sea ran very high, by reason of the near Approach of the Planet _Nazar_: For as with us the Tides of the Ocean correspond with the Course of the Moon, so the Ocean of this Firmament increases and decreases according to the Vicinity or Remoteness of the aforesaid Planet.

Presently I was conducted to a very noble House, all beautifully set off with costly Stone, Marble, Mirrors, Vases, and Tapestry. At the Gate were Centinels posted, which gave me to understand that this could not be the Dwelling of a vulgar Monkey. And I was soon inform’d, that it was the House of the Consul or chief Magistrate. He was very desirous of conversing with me, and therefore hir’d some Masters to instruct me in their Language. Near three Months had been spent upon my Instruction, at the Expiration of which, as I could now speak the Tongue pretty fluently, I hop’d to gain the Applause and Admiration of all, upon Account of the Forwardness of my Genius, and the Strength of my Memory. But my Tutors thought me slower and duller than ordinary, insomuch that they lost all Patience, and threaten’d to leave me off. And as at _Potu_ I was call’d in Derision _Scabba_, or Quick-Parts, so here, by reason of my Stupidity and Dulness, they gave me the Name of _Kadicoran_, which signifies a Clown, or Dunce. For those alone are here esteem’d, who are quick and nimble, and cover their Sense in a confus’d and rapid Volley of Words. While I was learning the Monkey-Language, my Host took me round the City, which I beheld dissolv’d in every Kind of Luxury. What with the Multitude of Coaches, Chaises, Valets, and a Croud of People hurrying every Way, we were obliged to use a Sort of Force to get on. Yet this was nothing, if compar’d to that Luxury which reign’d in the Metropolis, where, as in its Center, you might see all that mortal Vanity could invent. Being now taught the Language, I was brought to this famous Capital by my Host, who hop’d to purchase the Favour of a Senator, by making him a Present of so uncommon a Curiosity as I was. For the Form of Government here is aristocratical, so that the Sovereign Authority resides in the Grand Senate, the Members of which are all noble from first to last. None of plebeian Family can ever hope to be more than a Centurion or Prætor in the Provinces or lesser Cities. Sometimes, indeed, one of this Class may arrive at the Consulate, yet never without some very extraordinary Merit. Thus it was my Host obtain’d the Consulship; for so fertile was his Genius, that in the Space of one Month, he projected twenty-eight new Laws. And though not half of them were calculated for the Good of the Publick, yet they were Specimens of a fruitful Invention, and procur’d him a great Character. For throughout the whole subterranean World, there is no Place where Projectors are in more Esteem than in this. The capital City is call’d _Martinia_; it gives Name to the whole Country, and is famous for its fine Situation, for the Grandeur of its Buildings, its Commerce, and naval Force. For Extent of Ground, and Number of Inhabitants, I believe it may rival _Paris_. So crouded was every Street, that we were forc’d to beat our Way through to go to that Part of the City where the Syndick of the Senate liv’d. For he it was to whom the Consul was to present me.

When we drew near to the Syndick’s House, my Friend the Consul went into an Inn, to put himself in Order, and to compose his Person and Habit in a Manner fit to appear before the Syndick. Immediately there appear’d a little Army of occasional Valets or Footmen, commonly call’d _Maskatti_, whose Assistance every one makes use of before they enter the Palaces of the Senators. These brush your Cloaths, take out the Spots, and with the exactest Care adjust whatever is discompos’d, even to the smallest Plait. One of these _Maskatti_ took the Consul’s Sword, and wip’d it clean and bright, and then return’d it him. Another dress’d his Tail with Ribbands of various Colours: For these Monkies have nothing more at Heart than the Ornaments of their Tails. There were some Senators, and especially some of the Wives of the Senators, whose Tails on high Occasions could scarcely be dress’d out to the best Advantage under two or three hundred Pounds Sterling. A third approach’d the Consul with a geometrical Instrument, to take the Dimensions of his Cloaths, and to see if all hung in due Proportion. A fourth brought a Bottle of Paint, and with it improv’d his Visage. A fifth examin’d his Feet, from which he par’d the Superfluities. A sixth brought him perfum’d Water to wash with. In short, one brought a Towel, another a Comb, another a Looking-Glass, and all with an Exactness not inferior to that of a Geometrician measuring and adorning his Map. Oh! thought I to myself, how much Time and Expence must the Dress of the Ladies here require, when there is so much Fuss in tricking out one of our Sex? And, indeed, the _Martinian_ Ladies exceed all Bounds, and cover their Defects with such a Load of Paint, as makes their Persons offensive. For when the Sweat and Paint are pretty well united, it exhales an Odour like that of your great Kitchens; what you smell you know not, but this you know, that it is something very disagreeable.

My Host thus painted, powder’d, comb’d and polish’d, went to the Syndick’s Palace, attended only with three Valets. When he came to the Court-Yard he pull’d off his Shoes, lest he should afterwards disoblige the Marble Floor with Dirt or Dust. He was forc’d to stay a full Hour before the Syndick was inform’d that he was there, nor was he introduc’d without a proper Gratification to some of the Guards and Servants. The Syndick, seated on a gilt Settee, as soon as he espy’d me entring with my Host, burst out into an ungovernable Laughter, and afterward ask’d me a thousand trifling, foolish Questions. To every Reply I made him, he redoubled his Fits of Laughter.

_Ingeminat tremulos naso crispante cachinnos._

For my Part, I was of Opinion, that to play the Buffoon was reckon’d among the Virtues here, since the Government had made this Person Syndick, which is the second Dignity in the Senate; and I observ’d as much to my Friend. But he assur’d me, he was a Monkey of great Abilities, as appear’d from the Multitude of Business of various Sorts, which even in his greener Years he went through. For such was his Readiness of Perception, that even over a Glass he would transact Affairs of the utmost Weight; nay even at Dinner, or at Supper, between the Courses, he would often draw up a new Law. I enquir’d if such Laws, conceiv’d in so short a Space of Time, were of any considerable Duration. To this he only reply’d, that like other Laws they continued in Force, till it pleas’d the Senate to abrogate or repeal them.

The Syndick, having convers’d with me about half an Hour, and with full as great a Degree of Loquacity as our _European_ Barbers, turn’d himself about to my Friend, and told him, he would take me into the Number of his Servants, though upon Account of my slow Intellects he much doubted whether I could be good for any Thing. _I have myself_, reply’d my Friend the Consul, _observ’d a natural Torpor or Dulness in him, but give him Time for Reflexion, and you will find he has no contemptible Judgment_. That signifies little here, return’d the Syndick, since our Multiplicity of Business admits of no Delay. With these Words he fell to examining my Limbs and my Body, and after having survey’d them a short Time, he commanded me to lift up a certain Weight from the Ground, which I did without much Trouble. Upon this he told me, that though Nature had been unkind to me with respect to my Intellects, yet that she had in a Manner compensated that Defect by an extraordinary Strength of Body. I was then order’d to withdraw to another Apartment, where the Domesticks and Attendants receiv’d me with a good deal of Pleasure, though their excessive Impertinence and Gestures were troublesome enough. So many Questions they ask’d me concerning our World, I knew not how to answer them, and so gave them what came uppermost, some Truth, some Falshood, just to allay their impatient Curiosity.

At length my Friend returning, told me his Excellence did me the Honour to retain me in his Court. From the foregoing Conversation of the Syndick I could guess, that the Employment design’d for me was no very important one, probably his Valet, or his Butler; and upon enquiring what it was, my Friend said to me, His Excellence has been graciously pleas’d to appoint you one of his Body Chairmen, with an annual Salary of twenty-five _Stercolates_. (A _Martinian Stercolate_ is equal to about seven Shillings and Six-pence _Sterling_.) He has moreover engag’d, that you shall have the Honour of carrying only himself, or his Lady. I was thunderstruck with this Answer, and remonstrated in the most pathetic Manner how unworthy an Office this was for one of my ingenuous Education and Family. But some Courtiers rushing in in Heaps, interrupted me from speaking more, and half kill’d me with their Impertinence. For all the _Martinians_ are light, frothy, talking Creatures, that have a smooth, fluent Jargon of Words, without the least Mixture of Seriousness or Gravity. At length I was conducted to an Apartment, where Supper was ready; and having taken a moderate Repast, I retir’d to my Repose.

I threw myself upon my Bed, but such was the Disorder of my Mind, I could take no Sleep. The Disdain I was receiv’d with shock’d me to the highest Degree, and nothing less than a _Spartan_ Patience could digest so gross an Indignity. I heartily deplor’d my Fate, which seem’d severer now than what I had experienc’d in the Planet _Nazar_, and I could not help saying to myself, “What would here become of the _Kadoki_, or High Chancellor of _Potu_, a Person of inestimable Worth in his own Country, but who requir’d at least an intire Month to form a new Law? What would be the Fate of _Palmka_ in this Place, where the Senators make Laws between the Courses at Meals?” After a serious Consideration, I found myself translated from a Land of Sages to a Country of Fools. At last being tir’d with thinking, Sleep overpower’d me. I know not how long I slept, since there is here no Difference between Night and Day. For it is never dark except at one stated Time, when the subterranean Sun is in an Eclipse by the Interposition of the Planet _Nazar_. This Eclipse is very remarkable, because the aforesaid Planet, being not far from the Firmament, overshadows the whole Sun, and so always makes the Eclipse total. But as this happens but seldom, it makes no Alteration of Season, which is here invariably the same upon Account of the constant Presence of the Sun. Hence the Inhabitants are forc’d to have Recourse to various Inventions, as Groves, Baths, Walks, and Grotto’s, to qualify the Heat.

I was scarce awake, when a Monkey enter’d my Chamber, who told me he was my Comrade in Office, and with a slight Cord (being order’d so to do) he apply’d a fictitious Tail to my Posteriors, to make me look more like a Monkey. He then bid me get ready, because the Syndick within an Hour was to be carry’d to the Academy, to which Place he and his Brother Senators had receiv’d a formal Invitation. It seems there was to be a Promotion to a Doctor’s Degree at Ten o’Clock that Morning. It must be noted here, that though the Days are not distinguish’d from the Nights, by reason of the perpetual Presence of the Sun, yet are they distinguish’d into Hours, half Hours, and Quarters, and that by Means of Clocks or Hour-Glasses, so that Day and Night together take up about twenty-two Hours. Hence, if all the Clocks in the City were to stop at once, it would be impossible for the Citizens to recover the true Time, till they had consulted some of the Clocks in the next Neighbourhood. For there neither are, nor can be, any Sun-Dials, because there is never any Shadow, the Sun continually darting perpendicular Rays upon the Place. So that were you to dig a Well here, it would be illuminated to the Bottom. As to the Year, that is regulated and governed by the Course of the Planet _Nazar_ round the Sun.

At Ten o’Clock we took up his Excellence, and carry’d him to the Academy. Entring into the Auditory, we beheld the Doctors and Masters seated in Order, every one of which rose up as the Syndick pass’d by, and turning themselves about paid him their Compliments with their Tail. This is their Manner of doing Reverence. And this accounts for their Care in adorning their Tails. For my own Part, I confess these inverted Salutations seem’d extremely foolish and absurd. For to turn one’s Back upon any one, is among us a Mark of Indifference or Contempt: But every Nation has its particular Taste. The aforesaid Doctors and Masters were seated on each Side of the Auditory. In the lower Part of it was plac’d a Chair, in which sat the Candidate. Before the Act of Promotion, the following Question was discuss’d in a solemn Disputation, namely, _Whether the Sound, which Flies and other Insects make, comes through the Mouth, or the Posteriors?_ The President undertook the Defence of the former Opinion, which was attack’d by the Opponents with so much Ardour, that I was afraid it would have terminated in a bloody Battle. And most certainly they had come to Blows, but that the Senate rose up, and cool’d the Flame by their Authority. During the Dispute, a certain Monkey play’d upon a Pipe: This was the Moderator, who by the Management of his Musick, either in soft, or in smart Strains, would quicken the Dispute when it flagg’d and languish’d, or bring it down when it was noisy and violent. Tho’ very often all his Art had no Effect: So very hard a Matter it is to preserve the Temper, when the Dispute is upon such interesting Subjects. The same Thing often happens in our World, where, when the Dispute turns upon some very dubious and almost inexplicable Point, one may observe the Combatants are often work’d up to the most violent Agitations of Mind or Body. However, this threatning Quarrel which promis’d nothing but Blood and Slaughter, ended all in Compliments and Praises. Something like this obtains in our _European_ Universities, where, according to general Custom, the President, when the Dispute is clos’d, descends victorious and triumphant from the Chair.

This Preamble ended, they proceeded to the Act of Creation with these Ceremonies. The Candidate was plac’d in the Middle of the Auditory: Three of the University-Beadles walk’d gravely up to him, and threw a whole Pail-full of cold Water upon his Head; they then perfum’d him with Incense, and lastly gave him a Vomit to take off. Having perform’d this with the utmost Solemnity, they retir’d bowing, and declar’d him aloud a true and legitimate Doctor. Amaz’d at so many wonderful Ceremonies, I ask’d a certain learned Monkey who stood near me, the Meaning of all this. He told me, (pitying at the same Time my Ignorance) that by the Water, the Incense, and the Vomit, it was understood that the Candidate was to forsake his old Vices, and to assume a new Set of Manners, to distinguish him from the Vulgar. Hearing this, I deplor’d my own Stupidity, and full of Admiration, forbore to ask any farther Questions, for fear I should be thought to have never convers’d with any Thing above Brutes.