Chapter III: Part 3

The subterranean Memoirs shew, that some Ages ago such Classes of Dignities were in use, and that they were establish’d by Law; but it appear’d that they were the Source of infinite Disorders. It was an intolerable Evil, for an elder Brother to give Place to his younger, or a Parent to his Child; so that at length each shunning the other’s Company, it put a Stop to all Conversation and good Fellowship. But these were not the only Grievances. For in Process of Time it came to that Pass, that the more noble and worthy Trees, whom Nature had bless’d with the strongest Capacities, and with the greatest Number of Branches, were seated in the lowest Places at Feasts and Assemblies. For no Tree of real Virtue and intrinsick Worth, could bring himself to sue for a Title or Mark of Preheminence, which from his Soul he despis’d. And on the contrary, the more profligate and worthless Sort of Trees would incessantly teaze their Royal Master with Petitions, till they had even extorted a Title that might in a Manner hide the Poverty of their Nature, and be a Skreen for their Vices. Hence it came to pass, that Titles were at last look’d upon as certain Indications of the vilest Trees. Their Festivals and solemn Meetings, were, to Strangers, a Spectacle the most absurd that can be imagin’d. There might they behold Brambles and Bushes in the most honourable Seats, while the lofty Cedar and the noble Oak, each of whom Nature had adorn’d with ten or twelve Tire of Branches, took the remotest and most obscure Seats. Even the Ladies had Titles; they were Counsellors of the Houshold, Counsellors of State, Counsellors of Court. And this blew up the Coals of Discord more in that weaker Sex than in the other. To such an Excess this vain Ambition rose, that they to whom Nature had been so unkind, as to afford them no more than two or three Pair of Branches, even they absurdly affected the Title of _Trees of ten or twelve Branches_. This Vanity is just as ridiculous, as if the most deform’d Monster in Nature should affect to pass for a Beauty, or a Man of the meanest Original give himself the Airs of a Man of Quality. When this Evil had arriv’d to its highest Pitch, and the whole Kingdom upon the Brink of being ruin’d, every Mortal grasping at empty Names, and dishonourable Titles, a certain Native of _Keba_ had the Hardiness to propose a Law for the abolishing this Custom. This same Person was, according to the usual Custom, brought into the _Forum_, with a Halter about his Neck. The Senate being set, and proceeding to vote, the Proposal passed without any open Opposition, and was judg’d useful to the Commonwealth. Upon this he was crown’d with a Garland of Flowers, and led into the City in Triumph, amidst the Shouts and Acclamations of the Populace. And when in Process of Time it was discover’d how advantageous the Repeal of these Laws was, the Projector was advanc’d to the Honour of _Kadoki_, or High Chancellor.

Ever since this Time, the Law for preserving this Equality among the Subjects, has been inviolably observ’d. Yet the Repeal did not put a Stop to all Emulation; for every one now endeavour’d to shine by true Virtue and real Merit. It appears from the Annals of this Empire, that from that Time to this, has been but one Projector who twice attempted to revive the Distinction of Dignities; but for his first Effort he was condemn’d to the _Venæ-section_, and since he persisted in his Attempt, he was banish’d to the Firmament. Now therefore no Ranks or Titles of Honour obtain here, only the supreme Magistrate declares some Professions to be nobler than others, by which Declaration, notwithstanding, nobody has a Right of assuming the chief Seats in publick Assemblies. This small Difference we find in the Edicts and Letters mandatory of the Sovereign, which generally end with these Words: “We command and enjoin all Husbandmen, Inventors of Machines for the Manufactures, Merchants, Tradesmen, Philosophers, Officers of the Court, _&c._”

I was inform’d, that in the Archives of the Prince, this Catalogue of Honour was preserv’d.

1. Those who had assisted the Government with their Wealth and Fortunes in its greatest Streights.

2. Officers who serve _gratis_ and without Salary or Pension.

3. Husbandmen of eight Branches and upwards.

4. Husbandmen of seven Branches and under.

5. Inventors or Erectors of Machines for Manufactures.

6. Operators who exercise the more necessary Callings and Employments.

7. Philosophers and graduate Doctors of both Sexes.

8. Artisans.

9. Merchants.

10. Officers of the Court, with a Salary of 500 _Rupats_.

11. Officers of the Court, with a Salary of 1000 _Rupats_.

This Series of Honours seem’d very ridiculous to me, as it must to everyone of our Globe. I guess’d indeed at some of the Reasons for this inverted Order, what Foundation it was grounded on, and by what Arguments the Subterraneans would defend it. But I confess upon the whole it was a Paradox I could not comprehend.

Among other Things worthy of Observation, I remark’d the following: The more Benefit any one receiv’d from the Government, with a proportional Modesty and Humility he carry’d himself. Thus I frequently saw _Bospolak_, the richest Man in the _Potuan_ Dominions, receive all he met with such Condescension, that he lower’d all his Branches, and by inclining his Head, testify’d to every common Tree his grateful Sense of the Publick Favours. Upon my asking the Reason, I was told, that thus it ought to be, since upon no Subject more Benefits were confer’d, and that therefore he was the greatest Debtor to the Commonwealth. Not that he was oblig’d by any Law to this Condescension; but as the _Potuans_ in general act wisely and judiciously, so they make a voluntary Virtue of it, holding themselves bound to use such a Behaviour as Gratitude would dictate; far otherwise than it is with us, where those, whom their Country has loaded with Wealth and Titles, receive their Inferiors with a lofty and contemptuous Air.

But the most deserving Subjects of all, and who receive the most universal Honour and Respect, are the Parents of a numerous Offspring. These are the Heroes of the Subterranean World, and their Memory is held sacred with Posterity. They are also the only Persons upon whom the Name of +Great+ is conferr’d. Not so with us; where the Destroyers of Mankind are complimented with that Title. One may easily guess what Sentiments they would entertain here of _Alexander the Great_ and _Julius Cæsar_, each of whom having slain their Millions, died without Offspring. I remember to have seen at _Keba_ this Epitaph of a Husbandman: “_Here lies Jochtan the Great, Father of thirty Children, the Heroe of his Time_.” It must be observ’d, that in order to acquire this Glory, the mere Procreation of Children is not alone sufficient, unless they be also liberally and virtuously educated.

In the enacting Laws, they proceed with a Deliberation equal to that of the old _Romans_. The Proposal of a new Law is fix’d upon all the Courts and Places of Resort through out the City. The Citizens are free to examine it, and send their Sentiments and Advices upon it to _the College of Wise Men_, instituted for this very Purpose. Here every Thing is weigh’d that concerns the enacting, the disannulling, approving, correcting, limiting, or extending this Law. And when it has thus gone through all this Trial and Examination, it is offer’d to the Prince for his Consent and Authority. This Delay may seem absurd to some; but the Consequence of this Caution is, that their Laws are immortal; and I have been inform’d, that not one of their Laws for these five hundred Years past has suffer’d the least Alteration.

In the Custody of the Sovereign, there is a List of the most worthy and valuable Trees, together with Certificates of their Learning from the _Karatti_, and of their Life and Morals from their Neighbours. Hence the Republick are never in Want of proper Persons to fill the vacant Offices. It is particularly worth remarking, that no one has a Right or Freedom to live in any City or Village without a Certificate from the Place they came from, and Security for their future Behaviour.

A Law once enacted by publick Authority, all future canvassing and criticising upon it is prohibited upon Pain of Death. So that in their Politicks, their Liberty seems to be more restrained than in their Religion. The Reason they assign is this: “If any one err in Matters of Faith and Speculation, at his own Peril he errs; but if any one call in Question the establish’d Laws, or endeavour to pervert the Sense of them by some new Gloss or Interpretation, he is an Enemy to Society.”

Something has already been said of the State and Oeconomy of the Court. It has been observ’d, that the _Kadoki_, or High Chancellor, is the Supreme Officer. Next to him is the _Smirian_, or High Treasurer. This Post was in my Time discharg’d by a Widow of seven Branches, call’d _Rahagna_, who for her eminent Integrity and other great Endowments, was advanced to an Office of that Weight and Trust. Long had she presided at the Head of the Treasury, even many Years before the Death of her Husband, who, tho’ extremely well vers’d in the State of the Finances, yet was entirely ruled by the Counsels and Authority of his Wife, and never ventur’d to act upon his own Judgment; hence he was more her Official or Deputy than her Husband. The Edicts and Ordinances indeed were issued out in his Name, as often as she was hindred, by Lyings-in, or any other Malady; yet nothing was esteem’d firm and authentic till her Subscription or Seal was affixed to it. _Rahagna_ had two Brothers, one of which was Butler, and the other Butcher to the Court; nor, tho’ they had a Sister in the highest Exaltation, did they dare to aim at any Thing greater by Reason of the Poverty and Slenderness of their Abilities: With so much Equity are Preferments here distributed.

This Lady, tho’ ingag’d in the most arduous Affairs of the Kingdom, yet at the same Time suckled an Infant she was deliver’d of soon after the Death of her Husband. This I thought was too troublesome and too mean an Employment for so great a Matron. And upon my giving my Opinion, they reply’d in this Manner: “Can you imagine that Nature has given Breasts to Women only as a softer Ornament, and not rather for the Nourishment of their Offspring? The Quality of the Milk, and the Temper of the Nurse, go farther than we imagine, in forming the Disposition of the Infant. And Mothers who disdain to nourish their own Issue, dissolve one of the finest and strongest Ties of Nature.” And hence there is hardly a Lady throughout all these Dominions but suckles her own Children.

The Heir apparent of the Crown was a Youth of six Years old, in whom ’twas easy to discover the Seeds of many great and shining Virtues. Nature had been so liberal, as to adorn him with six Pair of Branches; an uncommon Circumstance in that tender Age. His Preceptor, the wisest Tree in all the Empire, instructed him in the Knowledge of the Creator, in History, in Mathematicks and moral Philosophy. I obtain’d a Sight of that Moral System or Political Compendium, which he compos’d for the Use of his Pupil. The Title of it was, _Mahalda Libab helil_, which in the Subterranean Language signifies _a Key to Government_. It consists of a Collection of Precepts and Maxims, the most solid and advantageous; some of which I yet perfectly remember, and shall here set them down.

* * * * *

1. Aspersions or Encomiums are not hastily to be credited; but the Judgment is to be suspended, till an indubitable Knowledge can be procur’d.

2. When any one is accus’d and convicted of a Crime, it should be examin’d what Good the Delinquent has ever done; thus his good Actions being compar’d with his bad, let Reason interpose and pronounce Sentence.

3. Those Counsellors who are given to Contradiction and Contest, the Sovereign may safely confide in as the heartiest Subjects; for no one will expose themselves to Danger, but those to whom the Welfare of their Country is dearer than their private Safety.

4. Let none but large estated Men compose the Senate. Their Advantage is united with the Publick Advantage: Whereas those who possess but a moveable Estate, look upon the Kingdom not as their Country, but as an Inn, and themselves as Travellers.

5. The Prince may make use of the Ministry or Agency of bad Men, if they should happen to be fit for a particular Business, but never load them with uncommon Favours; for if a wicked or an obnoxious Man be receiv’d into Favour, the worst of Subjects will rise under his Patronage, and work themselves into Office.

6. Let him most of all suspect those, who perpetually haunt the Court: Such either have committed, or are prepar’d to commit the most daring Things.

7. Let him be very backward to reward those who are most impatient of Honours. For as no one begs an Alms till oppress’d with Poverty and Hunger, so none insatiably haunt after Dignities, but who despair to rise by real Merit and Virtue.

8. The eighth Precept is indeed a very useful one, but what I could not be pleas’d with upon Account of the odious Example with which it was illustrated. The Precept is this: No Subject is to be consider’d as altogether useless; none are so dull but may be made subservient to some good Purpose, nay even may be made to excel in some Point. For Instance, one excels in Judgment, another in Ingenuity; one’s Excellence shall be in the Mind, another’s in the Body; this shall make a good Judge, that a better Advocate. One shall have a vast Power of Invention, another shall labour at the Execution of a Thing; insomuch, that there are few entirely unprofitable. That some Creatures indeed seem so, is not the Fault of the Creator, but of those who will not perceive or enquire where their chief Strength lies, and follow that Clue. This Position he thus illustrated. We have seen, says he, in this our Age, one of the Superterranean Animals, who, by the unanimous Suffrage of all was deem’d as an unprofitable Load upon the Earth, by reason of that Quickness and Forwardness of his Judgment; but yet we see his great Swiftness of Foot is of no small Service to us. Upon reading this Paragraph, I could not help saying, _This is a very honest Preface, but a scandalous Conclusion_.

9. It is of no small Importance to a Prince who would know the Arts of governing, to be very nice and cautious in the Choice of a Preceptor to the Heir of his Dominions. Let him therefore chuse one of remarkable Piety, and eminent Learning, since from the Institution of the future Successor, the Welfare of the State must be determin’d. What we learn in the tender Age of Life, passes into Nature. Hence it is necessary, that the young Prince’s Tutor should be a Lover of his Country, that he may instil into his Prince a Love for his Subjects, the first and principal Mark that all his Precepts should be aim’d at.

10. ’Tis necessary the Prince should study the Genius of his Government, and conform to it; and if he would correct the Disorders of his Subjects, let him do it rather from his own Example than the Laws.

——_Velocius & citius nos
Corrumpunt vitiorum exempla domestica, magnis
Cum subeant animos autoribus._

11. Let none be suffer’d to be idle, since such are a dead Weight upon their Country. By constant Industry and Toil, the Republick rises into Strength and Power; nor is there any Room left for pernicious Counsels and Contrivances against the State. And therefore it is safer for the State to allow the Subjects their insignificant Diversions, than to indulge them in a Laziness, which would be a Source of Conspiracies.

12. Let the Prince preserve Peace among his Subjects; however, it would not be amiss to encourage an Emulation among his Counsellors, as it leads to the Discovery of Truth. A skilful Judge will often extract the Truth from the Passions of the Advocates.

13. He would act wisely, if in Affairs of the last Moment he heard the Sentiments of every Member of the Senate, and that, rather apart than when conven’d. For in a full Senate, where Opinions are openly given, it often falls out that the most fluent Speaker bears all before him with a Torrent of Eloquence, and so the Sovereign hears but one Opinion.

14. Punishments are not less necessary than Rewards: The first puts a Stop to Evil, as the latter encourages Good. Hence it may not be wrong even to reward a bad Subject for a good Action, if it were only, that others may thereby be whetted up and incited to do their Duty vigorously.

15. In Promotions to Honours and publick Posts, let Regard be had principally to the Person’s Dexterity and Adroitness for that particular Employment. Though Piety and Integrity are of themselves most commendable Virtues, yet ’tis possible we may be deceiv’d by their Appearance. Every one would affect a Sanctity of Behaviour, if he knew that this Shew of Virtue was the Road to Honours; and would in Words profess the utmost Probity and Uprightness, with the same View. Besides, it is no easy Matter to form a Judgment of a Person’s Virtues, till he is admitted to Employment, in which, as upon a Stage, he is to exhibit Specimens of his Virtues. But nothing is easier than to make Experiment of any one’s Aptness for Business before-hand. It is infinitely harder for the Stupid and the Ignorant to conceal their Stupidity and Ignorance, than for a Hypocrite to cover his Impiety, or a Knave his Roguery. Besides, great Abilities and much Virtue are not so very opposite but they may be often found united in the same Character. And if a Person of large Abilities be at the same Time honest and virtuous, nothing more can be wanting. An Ignorant is either good or bad; if bad, who knows what Monsters Ignorance and Wickedness in Conjunction produce? If good, his very Dulness must indubitably hinder the Exercise of his Virtues. And if he of himself neither can nor dare attempt the Commission of some atrocious Crime, yet the Servant, whose Assistance he must make use of, in all Likelihood may. A foolish Landlord has commonly a roguish Bailiff, and a dull Justice a knavish Clerk, who fearlesly commits Frauds and Errors under the Protection of his Master. In Promotions therefore, let Dexterity be the principal Thing regarded.

16. Let none be hastily censur’d as ambitious, for aiming at an Employment he is in Reality unfit for, or for that Reason excluded from all Hopes of Preferment. For if, in the Distribution of publick Honours, the Prince should happen to adhere to this Rule too closely, the most Ambitious will soon put on the Mask of Humility, as a safer Road and a shorter Cut to Preferment. And thus the Sovereign would, contrary to his Inclination, prefer the most forward Worshippers of Fortune, as being to all Appearance the most humble; that is, he would prefer those, who about the Time of any Vacancy pretend to fly from Court and retire into the Shade, giving out by their Friends that they are averse to Grandeur. To illustrate this Point, he inserted an Example of one who, during the Vacancy of a considerable Employment he was all on Fire to obtain, wrote to the Prince to this Effect, _viz._ “That it was reported, that his Serene Highness design’d the vacant Dignity for him, tho’ sollicited for it by Numbers; that he for his Part must beg Leave to decline an Office to which he profess’d himself unequal; that he intreated his Majesty to confer it upon some more proper Person, and that being perfectly contented with his present Station, he aspir’d to nothing greater.” The Monarch mov’d with so strong an Attestation of Humility, preferr’d this humble Hypocrite to the said Dignity. But he soon learnt that he was abus’d; for no Minister ever behav’d with such Pride, or acted with such Weakness.

17. To set a poor Insolvent at the Head of the Treasury, is the same Thing as to put a hungry Man in your Pantry. Nor is a covetous rich Man a better Choice. The former has nothing, and the other thinks nothing enough.

18. Let there be no Foundations or Establishments for the Maintenance of slothful Trees. Accordingly, throughout this Empire, the Monasteries and Colleges admit only the Industrious and the Diligent; those who either by some useful Manufacture help to advance the Interest of the Republick, or who by their Studies and Learning can be an Ornament to the Society they are Members of. A few Monasteries indeed are to be excepted, which maintain the Aged and the Helpless; such by the Privilege of Age being exempted from all Labour.

19. When the Disorders of the State call loud for Reformation, it will be right to proceed slowly in it. For to endeavour to extirpate inveterate Evils at a Blow is as absurd as to prescribe Purging, Bleeding, and Vomiting all at once to a Patient.

20. Those who boldly attempt every Thing, and undertake a Multitude of Affairs together, are either Fools who have not duly compar’d their own Strength with the Weight of the Things, or else they are wicked and unnatural Members of their Society, who consult their own Interest alone, instead of that of the Commonwealth. A prudent Man will try his Arms before he takes his Burden up; and an honest Subject, who loves his Country, will not transact the Affairs of it superficially.

CHAP. VIII.

_Of the_ +Academy+.

In this Empire there are three great Schools or Universities, one at _Potu_, another at _Keba_, and a third at _Nahami_. The Studies pursued there are History, Œconomy, Mathematicks, and Law. As to their Divinity, since it is so short and concise, as that the Whole is contain’d in the Compass of a couple of Pages, importing, That we ought to love and adore Almighty God, the Creator and Governor of Things, who in some State of Existence hereafter will reward Virtue and punish Vice; as this, I say, is the Main of their Divinity, so it is no academical Study, nor indeed can it be, since it is prohibited by Law to have any Controversy about the Essence or Attributes of God. Physick, in like Manner, is not reckon’d among the Studies of the University; for since these Trees live all sober Lives, internal Diseases are almost wholly unknown. I say nothing of Metaphysicks, and such transcendental Learning, since it has been observ’d above, that to dispute about the Essence of the Divine Being, about the Qualities of Angels, or the Nature of Spirits, incurr’d the Punishment of _the Arm_, and Confinement in their _Bedlam_.

The academical Exercises are these: The young Students, during the Time of their Probation, are oblig’d to give Solutions of certain difficult and curious Questions, which are propos’d at stated Times, with a Reward to those who give the most ingenious and elegant Expositions. By these Means, the true Genius of the Students is discover’d, what the utmost Reach of their Capacity is, and in what Branch of Knowledge they are most likely to shine. Every one imploys himself in one only Science. An universal Scholar is a Chimæra; and the Affectation of such a Character is a Mark of a loose and unsettled Genius. Hence it is, that the Sciences, confin’d within such narrow Bounds, are soon brought to Perfection. The several Doctors likewise exhibit yearly Specimens of their Learning. The moral Philosopher clears some abstruse speculative Point. The Historian compiles a History, or some Part of History. The Mathematician throws fresh Light upon his Science by some new and ingenious Hypothesis. The Lawyers are oblig’d to make some eloquent Harangues: And these alone study Rhetoric or Oratory, because it is to these alone such a Study will be advantageous when they come to be Advocates. When I told them, that all our academical Specimens of all Sorts were in the labour’d and oratorical Style, they freely condemn’d such an Institution, replying, that if every Artisan were oblig’d to make a Shoe, and exhibit Specimens of such their Work, ’tis certain that Shoemakers alone would bear away the Prize. I purposely omitted to speak of our scholastic Disputations, because such Exercises were there but in equal Estimation with dramatical Performances. Their Doctors and publick Teachers never deliver their Instructions in a harsh, pedantick, and imperious Manner, as the Philosophers of our World, but forming some agreeable and delightful Fiction, they dress up and inculcate a salutary Truth with all the Charms of Fancy and Imagination.

’Tis surprizing to behold with what Solemnity the academical Promotions are made. For they take the extremest Care not to furnish the least Matter for Ridicule, or to be guilty of any theatrical Levities, rightly judging that a plain and grave Simplicity should distinguish the Exercises of an University from the Diversions of a Stage, lest otherwise the liberal Arts should run into Disesteem. Upon this, I would not venture to mention the least Syllable of our academical Degrees and Promotions, since what happen’d to me at _Keba_, when I gave a Description of this Kind of Honours, was ample Reason for my eternal Silence upon this Head.

Besides these Academies, the great Cities have their several Seminaries or Colleges, where the nicest Examination is made into the Talents of every Scholar, what his particular Capacity is, and in what Kind of Learning he gives the most promising Hopes of excelling. During the Time of my Probation in the Seminary at _Keba_, there were four Sons of the High Priest who were all educated in the Art of War; four others of Senatorian Quality were instructed in Trade; and two young Virgins learnt Navigation. For here the Genius alone is regarded, without any Respect to Sex or Condition. The Examination being made, the Governors of the Seminaries give Testimonials to the Examinants with a Veracity I have elsewhere spoke of. These Testimonials are perfectly just and impartial; tho’ I myself thought otherwise, since that which I obtain’d from them appear’d to me absurd, ridiculous and unjust.

None is here suffer’d to be an Author till after thirty Years of Age, and till he shall be deem’d by his Judges ripe and fit for such an Undertaking; consequently, few Books are here publish’d; but then they are well digested, and full of Meaning. Hence, tho’ I had wrote five or six Dissertations while under Age, I never discover’d it to any Creature for fear of drawing down their Ridicule. Enough has now been said of the Religion, Policy, and Literature of this People. But there are, besides, several Things peculiar to them, which are worthy of our Observation and Remembrance.

If one Tree challenges another, the Challenger is for ever forbid the Use of Arms. He is condemn’d, like a Minor, to live under Guardianship, as not knowing how to rule his Affections. With us the Case is different, where Appeals to the Sword are Marks of an heroic Soul, especially in the North, which must have given Birth to this abominable Custom, since Challenges and Duels were entirely unknown among the _Greeks_, _Romans_, and other ancienter Nations.

I observ’d one strange Custom in their Manner of administring Justice. The Names of the contesting Parties are conceal’d from the Judges; and the Differences are not decided in the Place where they arose, but the Case is sent to the more remote Provinces to be determin’d. The Reason of this strange Custom is this. Experience taught them, that Judges were often corrupted by Presents, or sway’d by Partiality. These Temptations they think they effectually remove, if the Parties are conceal’d, if the Names of the Plaintiff and Defendant, together with the Names of the Lands or Estates litigated, be all unknown. The Reasons and Arguments alone are sent, at the Discretion of the Prince, to whatever Court of Justice he thinks fit, with certain Marks and Characters; for Example, “_Whether_ A _who is in Possession, ought to restore the Thing possess’d at the Suit and Motion of_ B.” I should rejoice to find such a Custom introduc’d among us, since we often experience the fatal Force of Corruption and Partiality in the Minds of our Judges.

Justice in general is freely administer’d without Respect of Persons. Against the Prince only no Action can lie during his Life, but upon his Death the publick Accusers, or (if one may so call them) the Council for the Kingdom, cite him to Judgment. There in full Senate the Actions of the departed Monarch are strictly examin’d, and at length Sentence is pronounc’d, which according to the Merit of the Deceas’d is distinguish’d by different Words and Characters, such as these, _Laudably_; _Not illaudably_; _Well_; _Not ill_; _Tolerably_; _Indifferently_; which Words are proclaim’d aloud to the People, and afterwards engrav’d on the Monument of the Deceas’d. The _Potuans_ give this Account of that Custom: That the Prince while living cannot be proceeded against without great Commotions and Disturbances; for that during his Life a perfect Obedience and inviolable Veneration should still be paid him, which indeed is the very Basis of Government. But when that Obligation is dissolv’d by Death, the Subjects then have Liberty to call his Actions to a strict Account. Thus by this salutary, tho’ very paradoxical Law, the Security of the Sovereign is provided for, his Authority not at all invaded, and the Welfare of the People at the same Time promoted. For these Characters, tho’ given to the Dead, are to the Living so many Spurs to Virtue. The _Potuan_ Histories for four hundred Years afford only two Instances of Princes who bore the last mention’d Character, that is, that of _Indifferent_. All the others obtain’d either the _Laudable_ or the _Not illaudable_ Character, as appears from the Inscriptions upon their sepulchral Monuments, which have escap’d the Injuries of Time. The Character of _Indifferent_, which in the _Potuan_ Language is call’d _Rip-fac-si_, causes such Grief in the Royal Family, that the Successor of the deceas’d Prince, with all his Kindred, mourn for six whole Months. And so far are the Heirs from resenting the odious Character given by the Judges, that it becomes a new Incentive to them to signalize themselves by noble and worthy Actions, and to efface the Infamy of the Family by a Conduct full of Virtue, Prudence, Justice and Moderation.

The Cause why one of the two Princes above-mention’d had the Title of _Indifferent_ given him, was this: The _Potuans_ are a brave and warlike People; they never declare War themselves, but if War be declar’d against them they push it with all imaginable Vigour. By these Means they are the Umpires between contending Nations, and the several Kingdoms of this Globe submit to their mild and pacific Sway. But a Prince, by Name _Mikleta_, seiz’d with the Ambition of extending his Dominions, made War upon a neighbouring Kingdom, and subdued it. But as much as the victorious _Potuans_ gain’d by the Conquest, so much they lost of their ancient Renown; the Love of the bordering Nations was now chang’d into Dread and Jealousy; and that high Idea of their Justice, by which the State grew into Reputation, was now vanish’d. The _Potuans_ finding this, to regain the lost Affections of their angry Neighbours, branded the Memory of the deceas’d Prince with this Mark of Infamy. What the Crime of the other _indifferent_ Prince was, is not altogether so clear.

Their publick Doctors or Teachers are such as have attain’d to the third Age. To explain this it must be observ’d, that here Life is divided into three Ages. The first is that in which they are instructed in publick Affairs. In the second they publickly pursue and exercise what they have learnt. And in the third, being honourably dismiss’d from their Employments, they then take upon them the Instruction of the Juniors. Hence, none have a Right to teach in publick but such as are grown old in the Administration of publick Affairs, since none are so capable of laying down solid Rules as those who have drawn their Knowledge from long Experience.

If any one already infamous for the Immorality of his Life should however give wholesome Advice to the State, the Name of the Person is suppress’d, lest it should lose its Effect from the Character of its Author, and the Decree pursuant to such Advice is shelter’d under the Name of some more honourable Person. Thus the good Opinion is known, and the bad Author conceal’d.

I was inform’d, that with respect to Religion, it was prohibited to dispute about the prime Articles of Faith, particularly about the Essence and Attributes of the Deity. But as to all other Points, it is free for every one to propose their Opinions and engage in Controversies. For, say they, the Inconveniences which arise from such Contentions may be compar’d to Storms, which indeed throw down Houses, but at the same Time cleanse the Air, and prevent that Putrefaction which would arise from a stagnant Atmosphere. The Reason of their having few Holidays, is, lest a Spirit of Idleness should creep upon them; for the _Potuans_ believe that good People as duly worship God when employ’d in useful Labours, as they do by Vows and Prayers.

The Study of Poetry meets with but cold Encouragement; yet they are not altogether destitute of Poets. But the subterranean Poetry differs from Prose only in the Sublimity of Style; and they receiv’d what I told them concerning our Rhime and Measure with the utmost Derision.

Among the _Potuan_ Doctors some are call’d _Professors of Taste_. It is their Province to see that the Minds of the Youth are not employ’d in senseless Controversies and Things of no Use; to take Care that no trivial and vulgar Writings get abroad to poison and debauch the Taste; and to suppress or blot out from every Book whatever is writ in Defiance of common Sense. And to this End alone certain Persons are appointed to revise and censure Books; far otherwise than it is in our World, where the Licensers of Books shall suppress the very best, only perhaps because they deviate something from the reigning Opinions, from the receiv’d Manner of Expression, or because they lash the Vices of the Age with too strong a Sincerity, and too fine a Vivacity. By this Means, great Geniuses are in a Manner suffocated and stifled, and Writings of a good Stamp are for ever buried. But yet, as the _Potuans_ have a free Commerce with the Neighbour Nations, among other Commodities, some Books of a poor and trivial Turn will creep abroad. Upon which Account Censors are appointed by the State, who from Time to Time visit the Booksellers Shops. These are call’d _Syla-Macati_, that is, _Purgers of Booksellers Shops_. For as among us there is a certain Sort of Men, who brush and cleanse our Chimnies once a Year, so those Censors, who pry and examine into the Books that are put to Sale, cleanse away all the Dregs, that is, such Books, or Parts of Books, as would deprave the Taste, and convey them to the Jaques. Bless me! said I to myself, What Havock would be made among our Books, if such an Institution were to take Place among us!

But what cannot be enough commended, is the Care they take in sounding the Genius of their Youth, in order to know what Course of Life they will be fittest for. For as in Musick a judicious Ear distinguishes every little Sound; in the same Manner these piercing Judges of the Virtues and Vices of the Mind, form their Sentiments from some seemingly inconsiderable Hints, from perhaps a Cast of the Eye, from a Frown, from Dejection, Mirth, Laughter, Speech, and even Silence. ’Tis by these Things they easily know every one’s Propensity, and also what is contrary to his Constitution.

But to return to what concerns myself. I pass’d my Time, it may be well imagin’d, not in the most agreeable Manner with these paradoxical Trees, who treated me with Disdain upon Account of that too forward and unsettled Judgment which they imputed to me. I grew impatient under those Scoffs they were ever flinging out; for they even went so far, as to give me the Nick-name of _Skabba_, which in their Language signifies _over-hasty_. But what chagrin’d me most, was that my very Laundress, tho’ of the Dregs of the Populace, and one of the most miserable and indigent Trees herself, did not even scruple to call me by that Name of Reproach.

CHAP. IX.

_The Author’s Journey round the Planet_

+Nazar.+

Having continued in the unpleasing Employment of King’s Messenger for two whole Years, and carry’d the Royal Mandates and Letters Patents to every Province of the Empire, I at last grew tir’d of so troublesome and so unworthy an Office. Accordingly I again and again petition’d his Serene Highness to grant me an honourable Dismission, and at the same Time sollicited a more reputable Employment. But I met with nothing but Repulses from his Highness, whose constant Reply was, that a more important Office was above my Strength and Capacity. He alledg’d also, that the Laws and Customs of the Country were Death to my Hopes, in that they admitted only fit and proper Persons to the most eminent and arduous Posts of Government; that therefore I must make a Virtue of Necessity, and rest myself contented, till I had done something to merit better Fortune. He concluded his Advice in Terms like those of the Poet,

_Metiri se quemque suo modulo ac pede fas est.
E cœlo magnum descendit Nosce teipsum,
Figendum ac memori tractandum pectore._

These repeated Refusals were enough to throw me upon the most daring and desperate Designs. From that Day forward my Invention was upon the Rack to produce something, that should demonstrate the Excellence of my Genius, and wipe away my present Infamy. Accordingly, for a whole Year I study’d the Laws and Customs of the Country with an invincible Application, resolv’d to discover, whether there were in them any Defects that requir’d a Reformation. I open’d my Design to a certain Bush, with whom I had contracted a close Intimacy, and with whom I us’d to converse very freely upon all Subjects, whether grave or gay. He thought my Design not altogether absurd, but extremely question’d, whether it would be of any Service to the State. He added, that it should be the Care of a Reformer, to be a thorough Master of the Nature and Genius of the Country he intends to reform; because the same Thing might, in different Countries, produce different Effects, as the same Medicine may be good for some Bodies, and pernicious to others. He likewise inform’d me of the Danger I expos’d myself to in this Experiment, that no less than my Life depended on it, which must be a Forfeit to the State, should my Project have the Misfortune to be condemn’d by the Judges. He therefore ardently intreated me to bestow a little more Reflexion on this Affair; tho’ he did not plainly dissuade me from my Attempt, since he thought it not impossible, that a Sagacity, like mine, might at length discover something useful, as well to myself, as to the State. I took the Advice of my Friend, and for a Time laid aside my Scheme, and with a laudable Patience continued to discharge my Duty, by visiting the various Cities and Provinces of the Kingdom after the usual Manner. These repeated Expeditions furnish’d me with an Opportunity of making Enquiries into the State of the Kingdom, as well as that of the bordering Nations; and lest what I had observ’d in my Travels should escape my Memory, I penn’d it all down, and making a little Volume of it, humbly presented it to the Prince. How much his Serene Highness was taken with this Work appear’d afterward, by his doing me the Honour to commend my Labours in full Senate; and having again attentively perus’d my Book, he was pleas’d to make use of my Services in a farther Discovery of the whole Planet _Nazar_. I expected a different Recompence for my Labours, but was forc’d to say with the Poet,

——_Virtus laudatur & alget._

But since I was fond of Novelty, and had Hopes that so bountiful a Prince would never leave me unrewarded after my Return, I set about the Work with a good Degree of Pleasure.

The whole Globe of the Planet _Nazar_, altho’ scarce six hundred Miles in Circumference, yet to the Inhabitants appears of an immense Extent, by Reason of the Slowness of their Motion. And hence to this Day a great many Countries, and particularly the more remote ones, are utterly unknown to the Natives. A _Potuan_ would hardly be able to travel over this Globe on foot in two Years. But what embarrass’d me most, was the Fear I had that a Variety of Languages would put me to great Difficulties. But I was soon undeceiv’d, and reviv’d to hear, that the Inhabitants of the whole Planet, tho’ wonderfully different in their Manners, yet all spoke the same Tongue; and besides this, that the whole Race of Trees were in the main harmless, sociable, and beneficent Beings, so that I might, without the least Danger, make the Tour of the whole Globe. This redoubled my Ardour, and in the Month of _Poplars_ I began my Journey.

What follows is so marvellous, that it looks more like a poetic Fiction, or the Chimæras of ungovern’d Fancy, than Reality and Truth; especially since those Varieties, both of Body Mind, which in this Journey I met with, are such as one would never expect to find between the most distant Nations. It must be observ’d, that many Kingdoms here are separated from each other by Seas and Straits, not unlike the _Archipelago_ in _Europe_. These Straits are seldom cross’d; but for the Benefit of Travellers, there are certain Ferrymen that keep their Stations on the Banks in Readiness to transport the Passengers. It is very rare, that the Natives ever venture beyond the Limits of their own Country; and if compell’d, by Necessity, to make a Voyage, they soon return, as if impatient of a foreign Soil. Hence, as many Nations as there are, you see so many new Worlds in a Manner. The principal Cause of this vast Dissimilitude, is the different Nature of the Lands, as appears from the various Colours on the Surface, and from the surprizing Difference between the Plants, Herbs, and Fruits; it is the less Wonder, therefore, if with that Diversity of the Soil, and the Products of it, there should also be found a no less surprizing Variety of Inhabitants, and even opposite Natures and Tempers. In our World, indeed, even Nations the most remote, differ very little from each other in Genius, Manners, Learning, Shape and Colour. For since the Nature of the Earth is almost every where the same, except that one Part is more fruitful than another, and since the Nature of our Plants, Herbs, and Water, is nearly the same every where, hence nothing heterogeneous or uncommon is produc’d, as in this subterranean Planet, where every Tract of Land has its own peculiar Property. Strangers are allow’d to trade and travel, but not to settle out of their own Country; nor, indeed, could such a Liberty be well granted, considering the great Diversity and Opposition of Natures between each other. Hence all Foreigners that you meet with, are either Merchants or Travellers. The Countries which border upon the _Potuan_ Dominions, are nearly of the same Nature with them. Their Inhabitants were formerly often at War with the _Potuans_; but at this Day they are either in Alliance with them, or having been subdued, they now rest contented in their Subjection to so mild a Power. But if you once cross the great Sea, which divides their whole Globe, new Scenes present themselves, together with new and strange Creatures unknown to the _Potuans_. One only Thing they have in common, and that is, that all the Creatures of this Globe are rational Trees, and all use the same Dialect. This makes Travelling very pleasant, especially as the Merchants and Foreigners, perpetually passing thro’ every Province, give People an Opportunity of seeing Creatures extreamly strange and unlike themselves. Thus much I thought proper to premise, lest tender Ears should be offended with the subsequent Narration, and the Author reproach’d with Want of Veracity.

It would be a tiresome and an unprofitable Task, to recount every Thing singly, and in exact historical Order, that I met with in my Travels. Let it suffice, that I give an Account of those particular People only, whose Character, Description, and Manners have something so unusual and marvellous in them, that upon their Account this Planet of _Nazar_ may be reckon’d one of the principal Prodigies of the Universe. I must here call to Mind an Observation I have before made, that this whole Race and Country of rational Trees differ very little in Sense and Judgment from the _Potuans_; but in their Rites and Customs, in their Make and Temper, there is so much Diversity, that every Province you would swear to be a new World.

In the Province of _Quamso_, which is the first beyond the Sea, the Inhabitants are subject to no Infirmities or Diseases of Body, but each enjoys a perfect Health from Youth to latest Age. I could not help thinking them the most happy of Mortals. But upon a slight Acquaintance with them, I found myself infinitely mistaken. For as, upon one Hand, I saw nobody sad or sorrowful; so upon the other, I saw nobody pleas’d and joyful. For as we never highly relish the Serenity of the Heavens, and the Weather, unless we have been sensible of the Hardships of a different Temperature of the Air; so these Trees taste no Felicity, because it is perpetual and uninterrupted, and never know the Pleasure of Health, for want of knowing the Misery of Diseases. Their Life is one eternal Indolence. Their Enjoyments are never exquisite, and those alone can taste the Sweets of Life, who have their Pleasures season’d with a little Pain. I protest, that I never found, in any Country upon the Face of the Earth, such lifeless Creatures, or such cold and insipid Conversations. The People are harmless, but deserve neither your Love or Hatred. You fear no Affront, and you expect no Favour. In a Word, here is nothing either to please or displease. Besides, as that continual Health never brings the Image of Death before their Eyes, nor ever moves their Concern towards the Afflicted and Diseased, so they pass their Days in dull Security, and never know the generous Warmths of Pity and Compassion; nor do the least Footsteps of Love, or any such tender Affection appear there. In Truth, Diseases remind us of our Mortality, excite us to die well, and keep the Soul as it were equipt for its Journey to that World from whence none return; and as they afflict us with Pain, so they inspire a Sympathy towards others when afflicted. This leads one easily to discern how much Diseases, and the Danger of dying, contribute to Charity, Love, and all the social Affections, and that those People unjustly complain of their Creator for appointing these Afflictions, which are so full of real Advantage. It must be observ’d, that these Trees, as often as they remove into other Places, are expos’d to the same Evils and Casualties of Life that others are. This is a Proof to me, that they are indebted to the Climate for this peculiar Advantage, if indeed it can be call’d an Advantage.

The Province of _Lalac_, surnam’d _Mascatta_, or the _Blest_, seems to correspond with its Name; for there the Earth produces all Things spontaneously.

_Flumina jam lactis, jam flumina Nectaris ibant,
Flavaque de viridi stillabant ilice mella:
Ipsa quoque immunis, rastroque intacta, nec ullis
Saucia vomeribus, per se dabat omnia tellus._

But this extraordinary Circumstance does not render the Natives one Jot happier. For as there is no Need of Labour to procure their daily Sustenance, they spend their Days in Softness, Sloth, and Luxury, and so lay the Foundation of innumerable Diseases, and untimely Deaths. The Nature of this Country affords ample Matter for our serious Reflexion; in particular it appears, from the Condition of the People, that Husbandmen, Servants and Labourers, are far happier than those, who, free from the Fatigue of providing for themselves, are devoted to Idleness and Pleasure.

_Nempe inamarescunt epulæ sine fine petitæ,
Illusique pedes vitiosum ferre recusant
Corpus._

Hence follows a Train of vicious Actions, desperate Resolutions, and violent Deaths, which are here observ’d to be very common. For the perpetual Affluence in which they live, in Length of Time quite wears away all Taste and Sense of Pleasure, and almost infallibly introduces a downright Loathing of Life. Thus this Region, which appear’d at first like the Abodes of the Blest, was in Reality the Seat of Sorrow, and more an Object of my Compassion than my Envy.

_Hoc celerare fugam, terrâque excedere jussit._

The next Province is that of _Mardak_; they are _Cypresses_, all of the same Form and Height, and differ only from each other by the different Make of their Eyes. Some have long Eyes, some square Eyes; some have small ones, others have Eyes so large as to take up the whole Space of the Forehead. Some are born with two, others with three, and some with four Eyes. There are also those who have only one Eye; and these might be reputed the Offspring of _Polyphemus_, but that their one Eye is seated in the hinder Part of the Head. And hence, according to the different Shape of their Eyes, they are divided into so many Tribes, the Names of which are as follows:

1. _Nagiri_, or those who have long Eyes, and to whom consequently every Object appears long.

2. _Naquiri_, those who have square Eyes.

3. _Talampi_, the small Eyes.

4. _Faraku_, those who have two Eyes, one of which is more oblique than the other.

5. _Mehanki_, three Eyes.

6. _Tarrasuki_, four Eyes.

7. _Harramba_, those whose Eyes occupy the Space of the whole Forehead.

8. _Skadolki_, those who have only one Eye in the hinder Part of the Head.

The most numerous, and of course the most powerful Tribe, is that of the _Nagiri_, or those who have long Eyes, and to whom consequently all Objects appear long. From this Tribe are taken the Senators, the Priests, and all such as bear Office in the State. These sit at the Helm, nor do they admit any one from another Tribe to a Post in the Government, unless he shall first confess, and confirm his Confession with an Oath, that a certain Tablet, dedicated to the Sun, and plac’d in the most conspicuous Part of the Temple, appears to him to be long. This sacred Tablet of the Sun is the principal Object of the _Mardakanian_ Worship. Hence the honester Part of the Citizens, who start at Perjury, are excluded from all publick Honours, and what is worse, are expos’d to a thousand Sneers, Railleries, and even Persecutions; and tho’ they over and over protest, that they cannot disbelieve their Eyes, they are still complain’d of, and what is only a Fault of Nature, is imputed to their Obstinacy and Malice.

The Form of the Oath, which all, who are admitted to publick Employments and Honours, are forc’d to subscribe to, is this,

_Kaka manasca quihompu miriac Facku mesimbrii Caphani Crukkia Manascar quebriac Krusundora._

That is, I _A. B._ do swear, that the sacred Tablet of the Sun appears to me to be long, and I promise that I will persist in this Opinion to my last Breath.

After this Oath, they are declar’d fit for the Service of the State, and are incorporated into the Tribe of the _Nagiri_.

The Day after my Arrival, as I was sauntring in the Market-Place, I beheld an old Man, whom they were hurrying away to be scourg’d. A large Croud of _Cypresses_ follow’d him, with Scoffs and Revilings. Upon my inquiring the Cause, I was inform’d, that he was a Heretick, who openly taught, that the Tablet of the Sun seem’d to him to be square; and in that diabolical Opinion he had obstinately persisted, after repeated Admonitions.