Chapter XLI: Rules of Wars in the Xviiith Century

Although the Succession of Wars went on nearly the whole time in the XVIIIth Century, the countries kept on making a treaty called the Treaty of Paris (or Utrecht).

This Treaty was a Good Thing and laid down the Rules for fighting the wars; these were:--

(1) that there should be a mutual restitution of conquests except
that England should keep Gibraltar, Malta, Minorca, Canada, India,
etc.;

(2) that France should hand over to England the West Indian islands
of San Flamingo, Tapioca, Sago, Dago, Bezique and Contango, while
the Dutch were always to have Lumbago and the Laxative Islands;

(3) that everyone, however Infantile or even insane, should renounce
all claim to the Spanish throne;

(4) that the King (or Queen) of France should admit that the King
(or Queen) of England was King (or Queen) of England and should
not harbour the Young Pretender, but that _the fortifications of
Dunkirk should be disgruntled and raised to the ground_.

Thus, as soon as the fortifications of Dunkirk had been gruntled again, or the Young Pretender was found in a harbour in France, or it was discovered that the Dutch had not got Lumbago, etc., the countries knew that it was time for the treaty to be signed again, so that the War could continue in an orderly manner.