Chapter XIX: Magna Charter

There also happened in this reign the memorable Charta, known as Magna Charter on account of the Latin _Magna_ (great) and Charter (a Charter); this was the first of the famous Chartas and Gartas of the Realm and was invented by the Barons on a desert island in the Thames called Ganymede. By congregating there, armed to the teeth, the Barons compelled John to sign the Magna Charter, which said:

1. That no one was to be put to death, save for some reason--(except
the Common People).

2. That everyone should be free--(except the Common People).

3. That everything should be of the same weight and measure
throughout the Realm--(except the Common People).

4. That the Courts should be stationary, instead of following a very
tiresome mediæval official known as the _King’s Person_ all over
the country.

5. That “no person should be fined to his utter ruin”--(except the
King’s Person).

6. That the Barons should not be tried except by a special jury of
other Barons who would understand.

Magna Charter was therefore the chief cause of Democracy in England, and thus a _Good Thing_ for everyone (except the Common People).

After this King John hadn’t a leg to stand on and was therefore known as “John Lackshanks.”

FINAL ACTS OF MISGOVERNMENT

John finally demonstrated his utter incompetence by losing the Crown and all his clothes in the wash and then dying of a surfeit of peaches and no cyder; thus his awful reign came to an end.