Chapter XII: Act V: Scene I

_A Room in_ SIMON’s _House_.

_Enter_ SIMON, GLOVER, FELT-MAKER, _and other of his
brethren_, AMINADAB, _and Servants_.

SIM. Is not that rebel Oliver, that traitor to my year,
’prehended yet?
AMIN. Not yet, so please your worship.
SIM. Not yet, sayest thou? how durst thou say, not yet,
and see me present? thou malapert, that art good for
nothing but to write and read! Is his loom seized upon?
AMIN. Yes, if it like your worship, and sixteen yards of
fustian.
SIM. Good: let a yard be saved to mend me between the
legs, the rest cut in pieces and given to the poor. ’Tis
heretic fustian, and should be burnt indeed; but being
worn threadbare, the shame will be as great: how think
you, neighbours?
GLOV. Greater, methinks, the longer it is wore;
Where[513] being once burnt, it can be burnt no more.
SIM. True, wise and most senseless.—How now, sirrah?

_Enter a_ FOOTMAN.

What’s he approaching here in dusty pumps?
AMIN. A footman, sir, to the great king of Kent.
SIM. The king of Kent? shake him by the hand for me.
Thou’rt welcome, footman: lo, my deputy shakes thee!
Come when my year is out, I’ll do’t myself.
If ’twere a dog that came from the king of Kent,
I keep those officers would shake him, I trow.
And what’s the news with thee, thou well-stew’d footman?
FOOT. The king, my master—
SIM. Ha!
FOOT. With a few Saxons,
Intends this night to make merry with you.
SIM. Merry with me? I should be sorry else, fellow,
And take it in ill part; so tell Kent’s king.
Why was I chosen, but that great men should make
Merry with me? there is a jest indeed!
Tell him I look’d for’t; and me much he wrongs,
If he forget Sim that cut out his thongs.
FOOT. I’ll run with your worship’s answer.
SIM. Do, I prithee. [_Exit_ FOOTMAN.
That fellow will be roasted against supper;
He’s half enough already; his brows baste him.
The king of Kent! the king of Kirsendom[514]
Shall not be better welcome;
For you must imagine now, neighbours, this is
The time when Kent stands out of Kirsendom,
For he that’s king here now was never kirsen’d.
This for your more instruction I thought fit,
That when you’re[515] dead you may teach your children
wit.—
Clerk!
AMIN. At your worship’s elbow.
SIM. I must turn
You from the hall to the kitchen to-night.
Give order that twelve pigs be roasted yellow,
Nine geese, and some three larks for piddling meat,
And twenty woodcocks: I’ll bid all my neighbours.
Give charge the mutton come in all blood-raw,
That’s[516] infidel’s meat; the king of Kent’s a pagan,
And must be servèd so. And let those officers
That seldom or never go to church bring it in,
’Twill be the better taken. Run, run.
[_Exit_ AMINADAB.
Come you hither now.
Take all my cushions down and thwack them soundly,
After my feast of millers; for their buttocks
Have left a peck of flour in them: beat them carefully
Over a bolting-hutch, there will be enough
For a pan-pudding, as your dame will handle it.
Then put fresh water into both the bough-pots,
And burn a little juniper in the hall-chimney:
[_Exeunt_ SERVANTS.
Like a beast as I was, I pissed out the fire last
night,
and never dreamt of the king’s coming.

_Re-enter_ AMINADAB.

How now, returned so quickly?
AMIN. Please your worship, here are a certain company of
players—
SIM. Ha, players!
AMIN. Country comedians, interluders, sir, desire your
worship’s favour and leave to enact in the town-hall.
SIM. In the town-hall? ’tis ten to one I never grant
them that. Call them before my worship. [_Exit_
AMINADAB.]—If my house will not serve their turn, I
would fain see the proudest he lend them a barn.

_Re-enter_ AMINADAB _with_ PLAYERS.[517]

Now, sirs, are you comedians?
SECOND PLAY. We are, sir; comedians, tragedians, tragi-
comedians, comi-tragedians, pastorists, humorists,
clownists, satirists: we have them, sir, from the hug to
the smile, from the smile to the laugh, from the laugh
to the handkerchief.
SIM. You’re very strong in the wrist, methinks. And must
all these good parts be cast away upon pedlars and
maltmen, ha?
FIRST PLAY. For want of better company, if it please
your worship.
SIM. What think you of me, my masters? Hum; have you
audacity enough to play before so high a person as
myself? Will not my countenance daunt you? for if you
play before me, I shall often look on you; I give you
that warning beforehand. Take it not ill, my masters, I
shall laugh at you, and truly when I am least offended
with you: it is my humour; but be not you abashed.
FIRST PLAY. Sir, we have play’d before a lord ere now,
Though we be country actors.
SIM. A lord? ha, ha!
Thou’lt find it a harder thing to please a mayor.
SECOND PLAY. We have a play wherein we use a horse.
SIM. Fellows, you use no horse-play in my house;
My rooms are rubb’d: keep it for hackney-men.
FIRST PLAY. We’ll not offer it to your worship.
SIM. Give me a play without a beast, I charge you.
SECOND PLAY. That’s hard; without a cuckold or a
drunkard?
SIM. O, those beasts are often the best men in a parish,
and must not be kept out. But which is your merriest
play? that I would hearken after.
SECOND PLAY. Your worship shall hear their names, and
take your choice.
SIM. And that’s plain dealing. Come, begin, sir.
SECOND PLAY. _The Whirligig_,[518] _The Whibble_, _The
Carwidgeon_.
SIM. Hey-day! what names are these?
SECOND PLAY. New names of late. _The Wild-goose
Chase._[519]
SIM. I understand thee now.
SECOND PLAY. _Gull upon Gull._
SIM. Why this is somewhat yet.
FIRST PLAY. _Woodcock of our side._[520]
SIM. Get thee further off then.
SECOND PLAY. _The Cheater and the Clown._
SIM. Is that come up again?
That was a play when I was ’prentice first.
SECOND PLAY. Ay, but the Cheater has learn’d more
tricks of late,
And gulls the Clown with new additions.
SIM. Then is your Clown a coxcomb; which is he?
FIRST PLAY. This is our Clown, sir.
SIM. Fie, fie, your company must fall upon him and beat
him: he’s too fair, i’faith, to make the people laugh.
FIRST PLAY. Not as he may be drest, sir.
SIM. Faith, dress him how you will, I’ll give him that
gift, he will never look half scurvily enough. O, the
clowns[521] that I have seen in my time! The very
peeping out of one of them would have made a young heir
laugh, though his father lay a-dying; a man undone in
law the day before (the saddest case that can be) might
for his twopence[522] have burst himself with laughing,
and ended all his miseries. Here was a merry world, my
masters!
Some talk of things of state, of puling stuff;
There’s nothing in a play to[523] a clown,
If he have the grace to hit on’t;[524] that’s the thing:
The king shews well, but he sets off the king.
But not the king of Kent, I mean not so;
The king is one, I mean, I do not know.
SECOND PLAY. Your worship speaks with safety, like a
rich man;
And for your finding fault, our hopes are greater,
Neither with him the Clown, nor me the Cheater.
SIM. Away, then; shift, Clown, to thy motley crupper.
[_Exeunt_ PLAYERS.
We’ll see them first, the king shall after supper.
GLOV. I commend your worship’s wisdom in that, master
mayor.
SIM. Nay, ’tis a point of justice, if it be well
examined, not to offer the king worse than I’ll see
myself. For a play may be dangerous: I have known a
great man poisoned in a play—
GLOV. What, have you, master mayor?
SIM. But to what purpose many times, I know not.
FELT. Methinks they should [not] destroy one another so.
SIM. O, no, no! he that’s poisoned is always made privy
to it; that’s one good order they have among them.—[_A
shout within._] What joyful throat is that? Aminadab,
what is the meaning of this cry?
AMIN. The rebel is taken.
SIM. Oliver the puritan?
AMIN. Oliver, puritan, and fustian-weaver altogether.
SIM. Fates, I thank you for this victorious day!
Bonfires of pease-straw burn, let the bells ring!
GLOV. There’s two in mending, and you know they
cannot.
SIM. Alas,[525] the tenor’s broken! ring out the
treble!

_Enter_ OLIVER, _brought in by_ OFFICERS.

I’m[526] over-cloy’d with joy.—Welcome, thou rebel!
OLIV. I scorn thy welcome, I.
SIM. Art thou yet so stout?
Wilt thou not stoop for grace? then get thee out.
OLIV. I was not born to stoop but to my loom;
That seiz’d upon, my stooping days are done.

In plain terms, if thou hast any thing to say to me,
send me away quickly, this is no biding-place; I
understand there are players in thy house; despatch me,
I charge thee, in the name of all the brethren.
SIM. Nay, now, proud rebel, I will make thee stay;
And, to thy greater torment, see a play.
OLIV. O devil! I conjure thee by Amsterdam![527]
SIM. Our word is past;
Justice may wink a while, but see at last.
[_Trumpet sounds to announce the commencement
of the play._
The play begins.[528] Hold, stop him, stop him!
OLIV. O that profane trumpet! O, O!
SIM. Set him down there, I charge you, officers.
OLIV. I’ll stop my ears and hide my eyes.[529]
SIM. Down with his golls,[530] I charge you.
OLIV. O tyranny, tyranny! revenge it, tribulation!
For rebels there are many deaths; but sure the only way
To execute a puritan, is seeing of a play.
O, I shall swound![531]
SIM. Which if thou dost, to spite thee,
A player’s boy shall bring thee aqua-vitæ.[532]

_Enter_ FIRST PLAYER _as_ FIRST CHEATER.

OLIV. O, I’ll not swound at all for’t, though I die.
SIM. Peace, here’s a rascal! list and edify.
FIRST PLAY. _I say still he’s an ass that cannot live by
his wits._
SIM. What a bold rascal’s this! he calls us all asses at
first dash: sure none of us live by our wits, unless it
be Oliver the puritan.
OLIV. I scorn as much to live by my wits as the proudest
of you all.
SIM. Why then you’re an ass for company; so hold your
prating.

_Enter_ SECOND PLAYER _as_ SECOND CHEATER.

FIRST[533] PLAY. _Fellow in arms, welcome! the news,
the news?_
SIM. Fellow in arms, quoth he? He may well call him
fellow in arms; I am sure they’re both out at the
elbows.
SECOND PLAY. _Be lively, my heart, be lively; the booty
is at hand. He’s but a fool of a yeoman’s eldest son;
he’s balanced on both sides, bully; he’s going to buy
household-stuff with one pocket, and to pay rent with
the other._
FIRST PLAY. _And if this be his last day, my chuck, he
shall forfeit his lease, quoth the one pocket, and eat
his meat in wooden platters, quoth the other._
SIM. Faith, then he’s not so wise as he ought to be, to
let such tatterdemallions get the upper hand of him.
FIRST PLAY. _He comes._

_Enter_ THIRD PLAYER _as_ CLOWN.

SECOND PLAY. _Ay, but smally to our comfort, with both
his hands in his pockets. How is it possible to pick a
lock, when the key is on the inside of the door?_
SIM. O neighbours, here’s the part now that carries away
the play! if the clown miscarry, farewell my hopes for
ever; the play’s spoiled.
THIRD PLAY. _They say there is a foolish kind of thing
called a cheater abroad, that will gull any yeoman’s son
of his purse, and laugh in his face like an Irishman. I
would fain meet with some of these creatures: I am in as
good state to be gulled now as ever I was in my life,
for I have two purses at this time about me, and I would
fain be acquainted with that rascal that would take one
of them now._
SIM. Faith, thou mayest be acquainted with two or three,
that will do their good wills, I warrant thee.
FIRST PLAY. _That way’s too plain, too easy, I’m
afraid._
SECOND PLAY. _Come, sir, your most familiar cheats
take best,
They shew like natural things and least suspected.
Give me a round shilling quickly._
FIRST PLAY. _It will fetch but one of his hands neither,
if it take._
SECOND PLAY. _Thou art too covetous: let’s have one
out first, prithee; there’s time enough to fetch out
th’ other after. Thou liest, ’tis lawful current
money._ [_They draw._
FIRST PLAY. _I say ’tis copper in some countries._
THIRD PLAY. _Here is a fray towards;[534] but I will
hold my hands, let who will part them._
SECOND PLAY. _Copper? I defy thee, and now I shall
disprove thee. Look you, here’s an honest yeoman’s son
of the country, a man of judgment—_
THIRD PLAY. _Pray you be covered, sir; I have eggs in my
cap, and cannot put it off._
SECOND PLAY. _Will you be tried by him?_
FIRST PLAY. _I am content, sir._
SIM. They look rather as if they would be tried next
sessions.
FIRST PLAY. _Pray give your judgment of this piece of
coin, sir._
THIRD PLAY. _Nay, if it be coin you strive about, let me
see it; I love money._
FIRST PLAY. _Look on it well, sir._
[_They pick his pocket._
SECOND PLAY. _Let him do his worst, sir._
THIRD PLAY. _You’d both need wear cut[535] clothes,
you’re so choleric._

SECOND PLAY. _Nay, rub it, and spare not, sir._
THIRD PLAY. _Now by this silver, gentlemen, it is good
money; would I had a hundred of them!_
SECOND PLAY. _We hope well, sir.—Th’ other pocket, and
we are made men._
[_Exeunt_ FIRST _and_ SECOND PLAYERS.
SIM. O neighbours, I begin to be sick of this fool, to
see him thus cozened! I would make his case my own.
THIRD PLAY. _Still would I meet with these things called
cheaters._
SIM. A whoreson coxcomb; they have met with thee. I can
no longer endure him with patience.
THIRD PLAY. _O my rent! my whole year’s rent!_
SIM. A murrain on you! This makes us landlords stay so
long for our money.
THIRD PLAY. _The cheaters have been here._
SIM. A scurvy hobby-horse, that could not leave his
money with me, having such a charge about him! A pox on
thee for an ass! thou play a clown! I will commit thee
for offering it.—Officers, away with him!
GLOV. What means your worship? why, you’ll spoil the
play, sir.
SIM. Before the king of Kent shall be thus serv’d,
I’ll play the clown myself.—Away with him!
[OFFICERS _seize_ THIRD PLAYER.
THIRD PLAY. With me? if it please your worship, ’twas my
part.
SIM. But ’twas a foolish part as ever thou playedst in
thy life: I’ll make thee smoke for it; I’ll teach thee
to understand to play a clown; thou shalt know every man
is not born to it.—Away with him quickly! He’ll have the
other pocket picked else; I heard them say it with my
own ears.

_Re-enter_ SECOND PLAYER _as_ SECOND CHEATER.

See, he’s come in another disguise to cheat thee again.
[_Exit_ THIRD PLAYER _with_ OFFICERS.
SECOND PLAY. Pish, whither goes he now?
SIM. Come on, sir, let us see what your knaveship can do
at me now: you must not think you have a clown in hand.
The fool I have committed too, for playing the part.
[_Throws off his gown, discovering his doublet
with a satin forepart, and a canvass back._
SECOND PLAY. What’s here to do?
GLOV. Fie, good sir, come away: will your worship base
yourself to play a clown?
SECOND PLAY. I beseech your worship let us have our own
clown; I know not how to go forwards else.
SIM. Knave, play out thy part with me, or I’ll lay thee
by the heels all the days of thy life.—Why, how now, my
masters, who is that laughed at me? cannot a man of
worship play the clown a little for his pleasure, but he
must be laughed at? Do you know who I am? Is the king’s
deputy of no better account among you? Was I chosen to
be laughed at?—Where’s my clerk?
AMIN. Here, if it please your worship.
SIM. Take a note of all those that laugh at me, that
when I have done, I may commit them. Let me see who dare
do it now.—And now to you once again, sir cheater: look
you, here are my purse-strings; I do defy thee.
SECOND PLAY. Good sir, tempt me not; my part is so
written, that I should cheat your worship if you were my
father.
SIM. I should have much joy to have such a rascal to my
son.
SECOND PLAY. Therefore I beseech your worship pardon me;
the part has more knavery in it than when your worship
saw it at first: I assure you you’ll be deceived in it,
sir; the new additions will take any man’s purse in
Kent, or Kirsendom.[536]
SIM. If thou canst take my purse, I’ll give it thee
freely:
And do thy worst, I charge thee, as thou’lt answer it.
SECOND PLAY. I shall offend your worship.
SIM. Knave, do it quickly.
SECOND PLAY. Say you so? then there’s for you, and here
is for me.
[_Throws meal in his face, takes his purse, and exit._
SIM. O bless me! neighbours, I am in a fog,
A cheater’s fog; I can see nobody.
GLOV. Run, follow him, officers.
SIM. Away! let him go; he will have all your purses, if
he come back. A pox on your new additions! they spoil
all the plays that ever they come in: the old way had no
such roguery in it. Call you this a merry comedy, when a
man’s eyes are put out in’t? Brother Honeysuckle——
[_Exit_ AMINADAB.
FELT. What says your sweet worship?
SIM. I make you deputy, to rule the town till I can see
again, which will be within these nine days at farthest.
Nothing grieves me now, but that I hear Oliver the rebel
laugh at me. A pox on your puritan face! this will make
you in love with plays as long as you live; we shall not
keep you from them now.
OLIV. In sincerity, I was never better pleased at an
exercise.[537] Ha, ha, ha!
SIM. Neighbours, what colour was the dust the rascal
threw in my face?
GLOV. ’Twas meal, if it please your worship.
SIM.. Meal! I am glad of it; I’ll hang the miller for
selling it.
GLOV. Nay, ten to one the cheater never bought it; he
stole it certainly.
SIM.. Why, then I’ll hang the cheater for stealing it,
and the miller for being out of the way when he did it.
FELT. Ay, but your worship was in the fault yourself;
you bid him do his worst.
SIM.. His worst? that’s true; but the rascal hath done
his best; for I know not how a villain could put out a
man’s eyes better, and leave them in his head, as he has
done mine.

_Re-enter_ AMINADAB.

AMIN. Where is my master’s worship?
SIM. How now, Aminadab? I hear thee, though I see thee
not.
AMIN. You are sure cozened, sir; they are all professed
cheaters: they have stolen two silver spoons, and the
clown took his heels with all celerity. They only take
the name of country comedians to abuse simple people
with a printed play or two, which they bought at
Canterbury for sixpence; and what is worse, they speak
but what they list of it, and fribble out the rest.
SIM.. Here’s no abuse[538] to the commonwealth, if a man
could see to look into it!
But mark the cunning of these cheating slaves,
First they make justice blind, then play the knaves.
HENG. [_without_] Where’s master mayor?
GLOV. Od’s precious, brother! the king of Kent is newly
alighted.
SIM. The king of Kent!
Where is he? that I should live to this day,
And yet not live to see to bid him welcome!

_Enter_ HENGIST, _attended_.

HENG. Where is Simonides, our friendly host?
SIM. Ah, blind as one that had been fox’d[539] a
seven-night!
HENG. Why, how now, man?
SIM. Faith, practising a clown’s part for your grace,
I have practis’d both my eyes out.
HENG. What need you practise that?
SIM. A man is never too old to learn; your grace will
say so, when you hear the jest of it: the truth is, my
lord, I meant to have been merry, and now it is my luck
to weep water and oatmeal; I shall see again at supper,
I make no doubt of it.
HENG. This is strange to me, sirs.

_Enter a_ GENTLEMAN.

GENT. Arm, arm, my lord!
HENG. What’s that?
GENT. With swiftest speed,
If ever you’ll behold the queen, your daughter,
Alive again.
HENG. Roxena?
GENT. They are besieg’d:
Aurelius Ambrose, and his brother Uther,
With numbers infinite of British forces,
Beset their castle, and they cannot ’scape
Without your speedy succour.
HENG. For her safety
I’ll forget food and rest; away!
SIM. I hope your worship will hear the jest ere you go.
HENG. The jest! torment me not.
SIM. I’ll follow you to Wales with a dog and a bell, but
I will tell it you.
HENG. Unseasonable folly! [_Exit with_ ATTENDANTS.
SIM. ’Tis sign of war when great men disagree.
Look to the rebel well, till I can see;
And when my sight’s[540] recover’d, I will have
His eyes pull’d out for a fortnight.
OLIV. My eyes? hang thee!
A deadly sin or two shall pluck them out first;
That is my resolution. Ha, ha, ha! [_Exeunt._

SCENE II.

_Before a Castle in Wales._

_Enter_ AURELIUS _and_ UTHER, _and_ LORDS, _with_
SOLDIERS.

UTH. My lord, the castle is so fortified—
AUR. Let wild-fire ruin it,
That his destruction may appear to him
In the figure of heaven’s wrath at the last day,
That murderer of our brother. Hence, away!
I’ll send my heart no peace till’t[541] be consum’d.

[_Enter above_ VORTIGER _and_ HORSUS.

UTH. There he appears again—behold, my lord!
AUR. O that the zealous fire on my soul’s altar,
To the high birth of virtue consecrated,
Would fit me with a lightning now to blast him,
Even as I look upon him!
UTH. Good my lord,
Your anger is too noble and too precious
To waste itself on guilt so foul as his:
Let ruin work her will.
VORT. Begirt all round?
HOR. All, all, my lord; ’tis folly to make doubt
of’t:[542]
You question things, that horror long ago
Resolv’d[543] us on.
VORT. Give me leave, Horsus, though——
HOR. Do what you will, sir; question them again;
I’ll tell them to you.
VORT. Not so, sir;
I will not have them told again.
HOR. It rests then—
VORT. That’s an ill word put in, when thy heart knows
There is no rest at all, but torment waking.[544]
HOR. True; my heart finds it, that sits weeping blood
now
For poor Roxena’s safety.—[_Aside._] You’ll confess, my
lord,
My love to you has brought me to this danger?
I could have liv’d, like Hengist king of Kent,
London, York, Lincoln, and Winchester,
Under the power of my command, the portion
Of my most just desert, enjoyèd now
By pettier deservers.
VORT. Say you so, sir?
And you’ll confess, since you began confession,
(A thing I should have died ere I had thought on),
You’ve marr’d the fashion of your affection utterly,
In your own wicked counsel, there you paid me:
You were bound in conscience to love me after;
You were bound to’t, as men in honesty,
That vitiate virgins, to give dowries to them:
My faith was pure before to a faithful woman.
HOR. My lord, my counsel—
VORT. Why, I’ll be judg’d by these
That knit death in their brows, and hold me now
Not worth the acception of a flattery;
Most of whose faces smil’d when I smil’d once.—
My lords!
UTH. Reply not, brother.
VORT. Seeds of scorn,
I mind you not; I speak to them alone
Whose force makes yours a power, which else were none.
Shew me the main food of your hate,
Which cannot be the murder of Constantius,
That crawls in your revenges, for your loves
Were violent long since that.
FIRST LORD. And had been still,
If from that pagan wound thou’dst kept thee free;
But when thou fled’st from heaven, we fled from thee.
VORT. This was your counsel now.
HOR. Mine? ’twas the counsel
Of your own lust and blood; your appetite knows it.
VORT. May thunder strike me from these walls, my
lords,
And leave me many leagues off from your eyes,
If this be not the man whose Stygian soul
Breath’d forth that counsel to me, and sole plotter
Of all those false injurious disgraces,
That have abus’d the virtuous patience
Of our religious queen.
HOR. A devil in madness!
VORT. Upon whose life I swear there sticks no stain
But what’s most wrongful: and where[545] now she thinks
A rape dwells on her honour, only I
Her ravisher was, and his the policy.
AUR. Inhuman practice![546]
VORT. Now you know the truth,
Will his death serve your fury?
HOR. My death?
VORT. Say, will it do it?
HOR. Say they should say ’twould do’t?
VORT. Why, then it must.
HOR. It must?
VORT. It shall.—
Speak but the word, it shall be yielded up.
HOR. Believe him not; he cannot do it.
VORT. Cannot?
HOR. ’Tis but a false and base insinuation
For his own life, and like his late submission.
VORT. O sting to honour! Alive or dead, thou goest
For that word’s rudeness only. [_Stabs him._
FIRST LORD. See, sin needs
No other destruction than [what] it breeds
In its own bosom.
VORT. Such another brings him.
HOR. What! has thy vile rage stampt a wound upon me?
I’ll send one to thy soul shall never heal for’t.
VORT. How, to my soul?
HOR. It shall be thy master torment,
Both for the pain and th’ everlastingness.
VORT. Ha, ha, ha!
HOR. Dost laugh? take leave of’t:[547] all eternity
Shall never see thee do so much again.
Know, thou’rt a cuckold.
VORT. What!
HOR. You change too soon, sir.
Roxena, whom thou’st rais’d to thy own ruin,
She was my whore in Germany.
VORT. Burst me open,
The violence of whirlwinds!
HOR. Hear me out first.
For her embrace, which my flesh yet sits warm in,
I was thy friend and follower.
VORT. Deafen me,
Thou most imperious noise that starts the world!
HOR. And to serve both our lusts, I practis’d with
thee
Against thy virtuous queen.
VORT. Bane to all comforts!
HOR. Whose faithful sweetness, too precious for thy
blood,
I made thee change for love’s hypocrisy.
VORT. Insufferable!
HOR. Only to make
My way to pleasure fearless, free, and fluent.
VORT. Hell’s trump is in that throat!
HOR. It shall sound shriller.
VORT. I’ll dam it up with death first.
[_They stab each other._ _Enter_ ROXENA _above_.
ROX. O for succour!
Who’s near me? Help me, save me! the flame follows me;
’Tis in the figure of young Vortimer, the prince,[548]
Whose life I took by poison.
HOR. Hold out, breath,
And I shall find thee quickly.
VORT. I will[549] tug
Thy soul out here.
HOR. Do, monster!
ROX. Vortiger!
VORT. Monster!
ROX. My lord!
VORT. Toad! Pagan!
HOR. Viper! Christian!
ROX. O hear me, O help me, my love, my lord! ’tis
here!
Horsus, look up, if not to succour me,
To see me yet consum’d. O what is love,
When life is not regarded!
VORT. What strength’s left
I’ll fix upon thy throat.
HOR. I have some force yet.
[_They stab each other_, HORSUS _falls_.
ROX. No way to ’scape? is this the end of glory?
Doubly beset with enemies’ wrath, and fire?
It comes nearer—rivers and fountains, fall!—
It sucks away my breath; I cannot give
A curse to sin, and hear’t out while I live.
Help, help! [_Falls._
VORT. Burn, burn! Now I can tend thee.
Take time with her in torment, call her life
Afar off to thee, dry up her strumpet-blood,
And hardly parch the skin; let one heat strangle her,
Another fetch her to her sense again,
And the worst pain be only her reviving;
Follow her eternally! O mystical harlot,
Thou hast thy full due! Whom lust crown’d queen before,
Flames crown her now a most triumphant whore;
And that end crowns them all! [_Falls._
AUR. Our peace is full
In yon usurper’s fall; nor have I known
A judgment meet [the bad] more fearfully.
Here, take this ring; deliver the good queen,
And those grave pledges of her murder’d honour,
Her worthy father and her noble uncle.
[_Exit_ SECOND LORD _with ring_. _Trumpets sound._
How now! the meaning of these sounds?

_Enter_ DEVONSHIRE, STAFFORD, _and_ SOLDIERS, _with_
HENGIST _prisoner_.

HEN. The consumer has been here; she’s gone, she’s
lost;
In glowing cinders now lie all my joys:
The headlong fortune of my rash captivity
Strikes not so deep a wound into my hopes
As thy dear loss.
AUR. Her father and her uncle!
FIRST LORD. They are indeed, my lord.
AUR. Part of my wishes.
What fortunate power has prevented[550] me,
And ere my love came, brought them victory?
FIRST LORD. My wonder sticks in Hengist, king of Kent.
DEVONSHIRE. My lord, to make that plain which now I
see
Fix’d in astonishment; the only name
Of your return and being, brought such gladness
To this distracted kingdom, that, to express
A thankfulness to heaven, it grew great
In charitable actions; from which goodness
We taste our liberty, who liv’d engag’d
Upon the innocence of woman’s honour,
(A kindness that even threaten’d to undo us):
And having newly but enjoy’d the benefit
And fruits of our enlargement, ’twas our happiness
To intercept this monster of ambition,
Bred in these times of usurpation,
The rankness of whose insolence and treason
Grew to such height, ’twas arm’d to bid you battle;
Whom, as our fame’s redemption, on our knees
We present captive.
AUR. Had it needed reason,
You richly came provided. I understood
Not your deserts till now.—My honour’d lords,
Is this that German Saxon, whose least thirst
Could not be satisfied under a province?
HENG. Had but my fate directed this bold arm
To thy life, the whole kingdom had been mine;
That was my hope’s great aim: I have a thirst
Could never have been full quench’d under all;
The whole must do’t, or nothing.
AUR. A strange drought!
And what a little ground shall death now teach you
To be content withal!
HENG. Why let it then,
For none else can; you’ve nam’d the only way
To limit my ambition; a full cure
For all my fading hopes and sickly fears;
Nor shall it be less welcome to me now,
Than a fresh acquisition would have been
Unto my new-built kingdoms. Life to me,
’Less it be glorious, is a misery.
AUR. That pleasure we will do you.—Lead him out:
And when we have inflicted our just doom
On his usurping head, it will become
Our pious care to see this realm secur’d
From the convulsions it hath long endur’d.
[_Exeunt omnes._

------------------------------------------------------------------------

BLURT, MASTER-CONSTABLE.

_Blvrt, Master-Constable. Or The Spaniards Night-walke. As it
hath bin sundry times priuately acted by the Children of
Paules._

———— ———— _Patresq; severi
Fronde comas vincti coenant, et carmina dictant._

_London, Printed for Henry Rockytt, and are to be solde at the
long shop vnder S. Mildreds Church in the Poultry._ 1602. 4to.

This drama was reprinted (without notes, or any attempt to
rectify the errors of the old copy,) in a volume of rare
occurrence, edited by Chetwood, and entitled _A Select
Collection of Old Plays_, Dublin, 12mo. 1750.

“Blurt, master constable” (equivalent to—A fig for the
constable!) was a proverbial phrase: see _English Prouerbs_, p.
14 (first series), appended to Howell’s _Lexicon Tetraglotton_,
1660. Gifford thinks that Ben Jonson alludes to Middleton’s
comedy in a _Tale of a Tub_, where Hilts says, “You’ll clap a
dog of wax as soon, _old Blurt_.” _Works_, vol. vi. p. 158.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
DUKE OF VENICE.
HIPPOLITO, _brother to_ VIOLETTA.
CAMILLO, _in love with_ VIOLETTA.
BAPTISTA, }
BENTIVOGLIO, } _Venetian gentlemen_.
VIRGILIO, }
ASORINO, }
CURVETTO, _an old courtier_.
FONTINELLE, _a French gentleman, taken prisoner by_
CAMILLO.
LAZARILLO DE TORMES, _a Spaniard_.
DOYT, _page to_ HIPPOLITO.
DANDYPRAT, _page to_ CAMILLO.
TRUEPENNY, _page to_ VIOLETTA.
PILCHER, _page to_ LAZARILLO.
FRISCO, _servant to_ IMPERIA.
BLURT, _master-constable_.
SLUBBER, _a beadle, his clerk_.
WOODCOCK, _a watchman_.
FRIAR.
_Gentlemen_, _Servingmen_, _Watchmen_, _&c._

VIOLETTA, _sister to_ HIPPOLITO.
IMPERIA, _a courtesan_.
TRIVIA, }
SIMPERINA, } _her attendants_.
_Ladies._

SCENE, VENICE.

BLURT, MASTER-CONSTABLE.

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