Chapter XIV: Minor Cheats of Men of the World

Ruses and frauds allowable by custom in society 259

THE

SHARPER DETECTED AND EXPOSED.

AN ANECDOTE BY WAY OF INTRODUCTION.

A DANGEROUS PROFESSOR.

Whatever, dear reader, may be the value you attach to the knowledge of the knaveries I am about to reveal to you, you will assuredly never pay so dearly for them as I have.

You will easily understand, that the tricks and impostures exposed in this work, are not the inventions of my own brain. I have collected them, one by one, from sharpers, or have been obliged to find them out as best I could.

My researches have been both difficult and dangerous. Sharpers do not willingly part with the arts on which they depend for their livelihood; and, moreover, you are driven, by your investigations, into a society which may often expose you to serious personal risk.

When I was but a novice in the art of legerdemain, I often went, as I have mentioned in my "Confessions," to the house of a manufacturer of articles used for jugglery, named Père Roujol, hoping to meet there some lover of magic, or professor of the art of legerdemain.

The kind Père Roujol had taken a great fancy to me; he knew my passion for what he termed "natural philosophy rendered amusing," and took pleasure in giving me these opportunities of obtaining useful hints on the subject.

He spoke to me one day, of a man named Elias Hausheer, whom he had met at a "café."

"This man," said he to me, "appears very clever, but from a few words he let fall, it strikes me that he makes more use of his dexterity in winning at play, than for the harmless amusement of the public."

Hausheer's character was of little consequence to me; he might be the greatest blackleg in Paris; I only cared to know that he was clever, and I hoped to learn from him a good deal that would be useful.

I thanked my old friend for his information, and decided to call on M. Hausheer the following morning about ten o'clock.

I was at this time only known as a mechanician, and I feared that my being so, would hardly procure me an introduction to the great man.

An idea just then crossed my brain; I had recently invented a little mechanical bird, which sang and hopped about on the top of a snuff-box. I thought that perhaps this work of art, a very valuable one, by-the-bye, would serve my purpose, and I took it with me.

Feeling more confidence in the result of my visit, I directed my steps towards the Rue de l'Écu d'Or, where the great man in question resided. I say great man, not in a spirit of irony, but because, in my monomania, my imagination pictured M. Hausheer as having a large fortune, and all other advantages in keeping with his wonderful talents.

I did not know the Rue de l'Écu d'Or at all. I was much surprised, on arriving there, at its miserable and poverty-stricken appearance, but without stopping to reflect on this first disenchantment, I walked on until I came to No. 8, which was the address mentioned on the card I held in my hand.

A long, straight alley, damp and dirty, served as an entrance to the house. I entered it resolutely.

"Does M. Hausheer live here?" I asked, rapping on one of the dingy-looking panes of a sort of glass-box, over which the word "Porter," was written.

A man with a grey beard, cut to a peak, like a well-pointed pencil, with a bootjack in one hand, and a boot in the other, opened one of the panes, and with a strong German accent, asked me what I wanted.

"M. Hausheer," I replied.

"I don't know such a person: there are none but Germans in this house."

"Well," replied I, "if I may judge from the name I've just mentioned, the person I want ought to be a German."

I presented the card which I held in my hand.

The polisher of boots put on his spectacles, and after having read the name of his lodger, said:

"Ah! M. Hhhaoushheer," aspirating, with great force, the letter H, as if to give me a lesson in pronouncing the German language. "Yes, yes, he lives on the second floor, at the end of the corridor, to the left."

Thus instructed, I mounted the staircase until I reached the second story, proceeding along a dark corridor, at the end of which I discovered a door, at which I rapped. Loud sounds and laughter were heard from within.

A woman, whose exact age it would be difficult to guess, so dirty and worn with age were both herself and her dress, opened the door a very little way.

Remembering the lesson of my friend with the bootjack below, I asked, "Is M. Hhhaoushheer at home?"

"Come in, and go to that door," replied the woman, pointing to a glass-door at the end of the apartment.

Notwithstanding a nauseating odour which assailed my nostrils, and the wretched appearance of the whole place, I resolved on following up an adventure which promised some amusement.

The noise I had heard, proceeded from half-a-dozen children, more than half naked, and extremely dirty, who were playing and shouting.

The room was large, and they had it all to themselves, for there was no furniture in it.

Striding over one, and pushing aside another, I opened a glass-door, and found myself in a bedroom.

I will not attempt to depict this apartment, but will leave it to the imagination of my readers, who, after the description given of the preceding room, may easily imagine it was far from clean or comfortable.

No one was there to receive me. I ventured, however, to utter once more the name of the magician I had come to see.

Two curtains, which had once been white, were suddenly drawn aside, and in the centre appeared a gaunt-looking head, covered with a cotton nightcap, yellow from age and long usage.

"What do you want, young man?" asked this odd-looking individual, addressing me.

"To see M. Hausheer," I replied.

"I am M. Hausheer"--and my interlocutor eyed me in a way which seemed to say--"And what next?"

My illusions, so poetical a quarter of an hour before, were, you may well believe, entirely dissipated. M. Hausheer only inspired me with feelings of disgust.

I should have liked to have departed at once; but how could I do so? I must, at all events, say something before retiring.

"Sir," said I, "Père Roujol has been speaking to me about you, and of your skill in legerdemain. From what he said, I have been induced to come and talk to you, about an art in which I passionately delight; but do not disturb yourself, I will come again another time."

"No, no! Wait an instant--I understand, from what you say, you are come with the intention of taking some lessons from me."

I made no reply, fearing to bind myself to an engagement, of which I did not clearly see the end.

Hausheer, however, construed my silence into a consent, and thinking, doubtless, of the money he should gain, jumped straight out of bed. He was partly dressed, but, without troubling himself to put on any more clothes, he approached me.

"Let us see what you know, young man; what progress have you made in the science?" said he, offering me a pack of cards.

Far from accepting his invitation to give him a proof of my abilities, I repeated my desire to shorten my visit. But the wary professor did not intend thus to lose his prey. That I had come to take a lesson was evident, and he was determined that a lesson I should have, whether I now wished for it or not.

Still I persisted in my determination to retire.

Judging it would be wiser to persuade, than to force me, to stay, Hausheer began to exhibit, as a specimen of his skill, some tricks with cards, which he performed with marvellous dexterity.

From this moment, all the apprehension and disgust which I had previously felt, if I may so express it, completely vanished; admiration had replaced every other feeling. I was now as eager to remain, as I had before been to depart.

It was now my turn to astonish the professor; so I took out my celebrated snuff-box, and presenting it to him, I touched a spring, when out flew my little automaton, hopping, singing, and flapping his wings; and, when all these operations were finished, vanishing as if by enchantment.

As long as my bird was singing, my attention was riveted on it, but when it had finished, I glanced at Hausheer, to judge what effect it had produced on him. I was struck by the covetous expression that flashed from his eyes. It seemed to me that he glanced furtively from side to side in a singular manner, as if debating with himself how he could, by any possibility, gain possession of my snuff-box; his face was pale, and his hands, which he stretched towards me, were tremulous with agitation.

"How do you like it?" I asked him.

Instead of answering me, Hausheer walked across the room to a cabinet, opened it hurriedly, and took out something which he concealed under his clothes.

"It is very pretty," said he, at length, turning towards me; "but, I say, young man, you must leave it with me to show to one of my friends, who is rich, and will buy it."

"This box is not for sale," replied I; "it is an order, and, indeed, I ought to take it home to-day."

"Oh! that's of no consequence. I will show it to my friend, and you can take it home afterwards."

To this observation I made no reply, but wrapping the box up in paper, I was just going to put it back into my pocket, when Hausheer rushed up to me, rage sparkling in his eyes.

I confess I felt alarmed; and my alarm was not lessened, when my aggressor, backing me up into a corner of the room, exclaimed, in a voice I shall never forget, "I will have it; do you hear?"

At the same time he put his hand inside his flannel waistcoat, the poor and flimsy texture of which, permitted me to see the bony fingers of Hausheer clutch the handle of what I supposed to be a dagger.

The feeling of self-preservation restored all my energies. The danger was imminent. I prepared for a desperate struggle.

I put my snuff-box quickly into my pocket, to leave my hands at liberty, and looked stedfastly at Hausheer, to read in his eyes, if possible, what was to be his next move.

He hesitated for a moment, seeming at a loss to know what it would be best to do. It may be, that the dogged expression of my countenance, or perhaps the impossibility of committing a murder without detection, made him pause; or he may have wished to try once more, by persuasion, to gain his ends, before proceeding to extreme measures. The whole expression of his physiognomy underwent an instantaneous alteration; he was evidently trying to calm himself, and his full purple lips essayed to form themselves into a smile.

"Do tell me," said he, "why you won't lend me your snuff-box?" tapping me familiarly on the shoulder at the same time.

"Devil take it, man," I replied, as calmly as my agitated feelings would allow me, "you are so quick, you don't give one time to explain oneself." To this observation he uttered some gibberish, to which I paid no attention, so much was I preoccupied with my own thoughts. Dreading a recurrence of his former violence, I was pondering on some plan to escape, and was lucky enough to hit on the following:--

"Look here," I exclaimed, forcing myself to speak in as natural a tone of voice as possible, "you are sure that you can sell this piece of mechanism for me?"

"Certainly," replied Hausheer; "I am quite sure of it, for my friend is very rich."

"Oh! then, if your friend is so rich, you can do me a great service, my dear sir."

"What is it?"

"I possess a snuff-box similar to this, as regards the mechanical part of it; but as the box itself is of chased gold, it is too expensive an article for me to dispose of easily. I should, therefore, be very glad if your friend would buy it."

It is well said, that, to believe oneself more clever than others, is the way to be deceived. The cunning rascal never perceived the snare I had laid for him.

"That would suit him better still," said he. "Come, let us go, and get this treasure."

"Willingly," I replied. "Finish dressing yourself, and I'll wait for you; without," I added, "you would like to accompany me in the state you now are?"

This little _plaisanterie_ did not provoke a smile from Hausheer; he contented himself with offering me a chair, and proceeded to finish his toilette.

During this time I was contriving the plot for my revenge.

At length we started.

The Rue de l'Écu d'Or was at the back of the Hôtel de Ville. The Rue de Vendôme au Marais, where I lived, was not far off; besides, each of us had reasons of his own for hastening his steps; so we were soon there.

I rapped at my door, and, as soon as it was opened, I entered in advance of my companion, and, turning round and standing so as to prevent his entrance, I said to him, in a calm voice, mingled with irony--

"M. Hausheer, I have some business to transact in this house, which will detain me some time. I hope, therefore, you will not trouble yourself to wait for me."

"And the snuff-box with the bird?" said the German, reddening with vexation.

"Oh! you shall have that another time," I replied, in a mischievously significant tone of voice, and shut the door hastily in his face.

As Hausheer departed, I heard him utter a perfect volley of oaths and imprecations, amidst which, the words, "I have been a great blockhead," were distinctly audible.

These volleys of abuse mattered little to me; I was in my own house, and had nothing to fear. I left the rascally juggler to his anger and his regrets.

Some months afterwards, I was one day reading the "Gazette des Tribunaux," when my eye was arrested by the name of Elias Hausheer, figuring amongst a gang of sharpers of the worst kind.

The phrase, "I have been a great blockhead," recurred to my mind. I could now understand its true meaning. Hausheer was not a man to stick at trifles: he was a blockhead for not having possessed himself of my snuff-box at _any price_.

The recollection of it made me shudder.

The knowledge of the danger I had incurred made me more prudent for the future, but did not prevent me from following my researches, only, instead of going myself on such occasions, I now always sent a third party. I employed, as my agent, a young man whom I knew to be respectable enough, though much of his time was passed in "estaminets" and gaming-houses, and I paid handsomely for each new trick that he brought me.

At such a statement I fancy I hear my reader exclaim: "Why pay so much for learning a thing which is wrong? Is it not the act of a fool or a monomaniac?"

I acknowledge my weakness; but, dear reader, had it not been for this monomania, I should never have had the success I have enjoyed.

I always intended turning my knowledge to a good account; many circumstances have retarded the fulfilment of my intentions; but at length I have the honour of presenting the result of my labours to you, under the title of,--

"THE SHARPER DETECTED AND EXPOSED."

THE TRICKS OF SHARPERS EXPOSED.