Chapter XII: Palace, Uganda--Continued (2)

Whilst this was going on, the Kamraviona, taking advantage of my having opened the door with the gun, walked in to make his salutations. A blacksmith produced two very handsome spears, and a fisherman a basket of fish, from which two fish were taken out and given to me. The king then sat on his iron chair, and I on a wooden box which I had contrived to stuff with the royal grass he gave me, and so made a complete miniature imitation of his throne. The folly in now allowing me to sit upon my portable iron stool, as an ingenious device for carrying out my determination to sit before him like an Englishman. I wished to be communicative, and, giving him a purse of money, told him the use and value of the several coins; but he paid little regard to them, and soon put them down. The small-talk of Uganda had much more attractions to his mind than the wonders of the outer world, and he kept it up with his Kamraviona until rain fell and dispersed the company.

19th.--As the queen, to avoid future difficulties, desired my officers to acquaint her beforehand whenever I wished to call upon her, I sent Nasib early to say I would call in the afternoon; but he had to wait till the evening before he could deliver the message, though she had been drumming and playing all the day. She then complained against my men for robbing her gardeners on the highway, wished to know why I didn't call upon her oftener, appointed the following morning for an interview, and begged I would bring her some liver medicines, as she suffered from constant twinges in her right side, sealing her "letter" with a present of a nest of eggs and one fowl.

Whilst Nasib was away, I went to the Kamraviona to treat him as I had the king. He appeared a little more affable to-day, yet still delighted in nothing but what was frivolous. My beard, for instance, engrossed the major part of the conversation; all the Waganda would come out in future with hairy faces; but when I told them that, to produce such a growth, they must wash their faces with milk, and allow a cat to lick it off, they turned up their noses in utter contempt.

20th.--I became dead tired of living all alone, with nothing else to occupy my time save making these notes every day in my office letter-book, as my store of stationery was left at Karague. I had no chance of seeing any visitors, save the tiresome pages, who asked me to give or to do something for the king every day; and my prospect was cheerless, as I had been flatly refused a visit to Usoga until Grant should come. For want of better amusement, I made a page of Lugoi, a sharp little lad, son of the late Beluch, but adopted by Uledi, and treated him as a son, which he declared he wished to be, for he liked me better than Uledi as a father. He said he disliked Uganda, where people's lives are taken like those of fowls; and wished to live at the coast, the only place he ever heard of, where all the Wanguana come from--great swells in Lugoi's estimation. Now, with Lugoi dressed in a new white pillow-case, with holes trimmed with black tape for his head and arms to go through, a dagger tied with red bindera round his waist, and a square of red blanket rolled on his shoulder as a napkin, for my gun to rest on, or in place of a goat-skin run when he wished to sit down, I walked off to inquire how the Kamraviona was, and took my pictures with me.

Lugoi's dress, however, absorbed all their thoughts, and he was made to take it off and put it on again as often as any fresh visitor came to call. Hardly a word was said about anything else; even the pictures, which generally are in such demand, attracted but little notice. I asked the Kamraviona to allow me to draw his pet dog; when the king's sister Miengo came in and sat down, laughing and joking with me immoderately.

At first there was a demur about my drawing the dog--whether from fear of bewitching the animal or not, I cannot say; but instead of producing the pet--a beautifully-formed cream-coloured dog--a common black one was brought in, which I tied in front of Miengo, and then drew both woman and dog together. After this unlawful act was discovered, of drawing the king's sister without his consent, the whole company roared with laughter, and pretended nervous excitement lest I should book them likewise. One of my men, Sangoro, did not return to camp last night from foraging; and as my men suspect the Waganda must have murdered him, I told the Kamraviona, requesting him to find out; but he coolly said, "Look for him yourselves two days more, for Wanguana often make friends with our people, and so slip away from their masters; but as they are also often murdered, provided you cannot find him in that time, we will have the Mganga out."

21st.--Last night I was turned out of my bed by a terrible hue and cry from the quarter allotted to Rozaro and his Wanyambo companions; for the Waganda had threatened to demolish my men, one by one, for seizing their pombe and plaintains, though done according to the orders of the king; and now, finding the Wanyambo nearest to the road, they set on them by moonlight, with spear and club, maltreating them severely, till, with reinforcements, the Wanyambo gained the ascendancy, seized two spears and one shield as a trophy, and drove their enemies off. In the morning, I sent the Wakungu off with the trophies to the king, again complaining that he had turned my men into a pack of highwaymen, and, as I foresaw, had thus created enmity between the Waganda and them, much to my annoyance. I therefore begged he would institute some means to prevent any further occurrence of such scenes, otherwise I would use firearms in self-defence.

Whilst these men were on this mission, I went on a like errand to the queen, taking my page Lugoi with the liver medicine. The first object of remark was Lugoi, as indeed it was everywhere; for, as I walked along, crowds ran after the little phenomenon. Then came the liver questions; and, finally what I wanted--her complaint against my men for robbing on the road, as it gave me the opportunity of telling her the king was doing what I had been trying to undo with my stick ever since I left the coast; and I begged she would use influence to correct these disagreeables. She told me for the future to send my men to her palace for food, and rob no more; in the meanwhile, here were some plantains for them. She then rose and walked away, leaving me extremely disappointed that I could not make some more tangible arrangement with her--such as, if my men came and found the gate shut, what were they to do then? there were forty-five of them; how much would she allow; etc. etc. But this was a true specimen of the method of transacting business among the royal family of Uganda. They gave orders without knowing how they are to be carried out, and treat all practical arrangements as trifling details not worth attending to.

After this unsatisfactory interview, I repaired to the king's, knowing the power of my gun to obtain an interview, whilst doubting the ability of the Wakungu to gain an audience for me. Such was the case. These men had been sitting all day without seeing the king, and three shots opened his gate immediately to me. He was sitting on the iron chair in the shade of the court, attended by some eighty women, tweedling the loading rod in his fingers; but as my rod appeared a better one than his, they were exchanged. I then gave him a tortoise-shell comb to comb his hair straight with, as he invariably remarked on the beautiful manner in which I dressed my hair, making my uncap to show it to his women, and afterwards asked my men to bring on the affair of last night. They feared, they said, to speak on such subjects whilst the women were present. I begged for a private audience; still they would not speak until encouraged and urged beyond all patience. I said, in Kisuahili, "Kbakka" (king), "my men are afraid to tell you what I want to say"; when Maula, taking advantage of my having engaged his attention, though the king did not understand one word I said, said of himself, by way of currying favour, "I saw a wonderful gun in Rumankika's hands, with six barrells; not a short one like your fiver" (meaning the revolving pistol) "but a long one, as long as my arm." "Indeed," says the king, "we must have that." A page was then sent for by Maula, who, giving him a bit of stick representing the gun required, told him to fetch it immediately.

The king then said to me, "What is powder made of?" I began with sulphur (kibriti), intending to explain everything; but the word kibriti was enough for him, and a second stick was sent for kibriti, the bearer being told to hurry for his life and fetch it. The king now ordered some high officers who were in waiting to approach. They come, almost crouching to their knees, with eyes averted from the women, and n'yanzigged for the favour of being called, till they streamed with perspiration. Four young women, virgins, the daughters of these high officers, nicely dressed, were shown in as brides, and ordered to sit with the other women. A gamekeeper brought in baskets small antelopes, called mpeo--with straight horns resembling those of the saltiana, but with coats like the hog-deer of India--intended for the royal kitchen. Elderly gentlemen led in goats as commutation for offences, and went through the ceremonies due for the favour of being relieved of so much property. Ten cows were then driven in, plundered from Unyoro, and outside, the voices of the brave army who captured them were heard n'yanzigging vehemently. Lastly, some beautifully made shields were presented, and, because extolled, n'yanzigged over; when the king rose abruptly and walked straight away, leaving my fools of men no better off for food, no reparation for their broken heads, than if I had never gone there.

22d.--I called on the queen to inquire after her health, and to know how my men were to be fed; but, without giving me time to speak, she flew at me again about my men plundering. The old story was repeated; I had forty-five hungry men, who must have food, and unless either she or the king would make some proper provision for them, I could not help it. Again she promised to feed them, but she objected to them bearing swords, "for of what use are swords? If the Waganda don't like the Wanguana, can swords prevail in our country?" And, saying this, she walked away. I thought to myself that she must have directed the attack upon my camp last night and is angry at the Wanguana swords driving her men away. At 3 p.m. I visited the king, to have a private chat, and state my grievances; but the three shots fired brought him out to levee, when animals and sundry other things were presented; and appointments of Wakungu were made for the late gallant services of some of the men in plundering Unyoro.

The old executioner, Kunza, being present, I asked the king to pardon his son. Surprised, at first Mtesa said, "Can it be possible Bana has asked for this?" And when assured, in great glee he ordered the lad's release, amidst shouts of laughter from everybody but the agitated father, who n'yanzigged, cried, and fell at my feet, making a host of powerful signs as a token of his gratitude; for his heart was too full of emotion to give utterance to his feelings. The king them, in high good-humour, said, "You have called on me many times without broaching the subject of Usoga, and perhaps you may fancy we are not exerting ourselves in the matter; but my army is only now returning from war" (meaning plundering in Unyoro), "and I am collecting another one, which will open Usoga effectually." Before I could say anything, the king started up in his usual manner, inviting a select few to follow him to another court, when my medicine-chest was inspected, and I was asked to operate for fistula on one of the royal executioners. I had no opportunity of incurring this responsibility; for while professing to prepare for the operation, the king went off it a fling.

When I got home I found Sangoro, whom we thought lost or murdered, quietly ensconced in camp. He had been foraging by himself a long way from camp, in a neighbourhood where many of the king's women are kept; and it being forbidden ground, he was taken up by the keepers, placed in the stocks, and fed, until to-day, when he extricated his legs by means of his sword, and ran away. My ever-grumbling men mobbed me again, clamouring for food, saying, as they eyed my goats, I lived at ease and overlooked their wants. In vain I told them they had fared more abundantly than I had since we entered Uganda; whilst I spared my goats to have a little flesh of their cows as rapidly as possible, selling the skins for pombe, which I seldom tasted; they robbed me as long as I had cloth or beads, and now they had all become as fat as hogs by lifting food off the Waganda lands. As I could not quiet them, I directed that, early next morning, Maula should go to the king and Nasib to the queen, while I proposed going to Kamraviona's to work them all three about this affair of food.

23d.--According to the plan of last night, I called early on the Kamraviona. He promised me assistance, but with an air which seemed to say, What are the sufferings of other men to me? So I went home to breakfast, doubting if anything ever would be done. As Kaggo, however, the second officer of importance, had expressed a wish to see me, I sent Bombay to him for food, and waited the upshot. Presently the king sent to say he wished to see me with my compass; for the blackguard Maula had told him I possessed a wonderful instrument, by looking at which I could find my way all over the world. I went as requested, and found the king sitting outside the palace on my chair dressed in cloths, with my silk neckerchief and crest-ring, playing his flute in concert with his brothers, some thirty-odd young men and boys, one half of them manacled, the other half free, with an officer watching over them to see that they committed no intrigues.

We then both sat side by side in the shade of the courtwalls, conversed and had music by turns; for the king had invited his brothers here to please me, the first step towards winning the coveted compass. My hair must now be shown and admired, then my shoes taken off and inspected, and my trousers tucked up to show that I am white all over. Just at this time Bombay, who had been in great request, came before us laden with plantains. This was most opportune; for the king asked what he had been about, and then the true state of the case as regards my difficulties in obtaining food were, I fancy, for the first time, made known to him. In a great fit of indignation he said, "I once killed a hundred Wakungu in a single day, and now, if they won't feed my guests, I will kill a hundred more; for I know the physic for bumptiousness." Then, sending his brothers away, he asked me to follow him into the back part of the palace, as he loved me so much he must show me everything. We walked along under the umbrella, first looking down one street of huts, then up another, and, finally, passing the sleeping-chamber, stopped at one adjoining it. "That hut," said the king, "is the one I sleep in; no one of my wives dare venture within it unless I call her." He let me feel immediately that for the distinction conferred on me in showing me this sacred hut a return was expected. Could I after that refuse him such a mere trifle as a compass? I told him he might as well put my eyes out and ask me to walk home, as take away that little instrument, which could be of no use to him, as he could not read or understand it. But this only excited his cupidity; he watched it twirling round and pointing to the north, and looked and begged again, until, tired of his importunities, I told him I must wait until the Usoga road was open before I could part with it, and then the compass would be nothing to what I would give him. Hearing this, "That is all on my shoulders; as sure as I live it shall be done; for that country has no king, and I have long been desirous of taking it." I declined, however, to give him the instrument on the security of his promise, and he went to breakfast.

I walked off to Usungu to see what I could do for him in his misery. I found that he had a complication of evils entirely beyond my healing power, and among them inveterate forms of the diseases which are generally associated with civilisation and its social evils. I could do nothing to cure him, but promised to do whatever was in my power to alleviate his sufferings.

24th.--Before breakfast I called on poor Usungu, prescribing hot coffee to be drunk with milk every morning, which astonished him not a little, as the negroes only use coffee for chewing. He gave my men pombe and plantains. On my return I met a page sent to invite me to the palace. I found the king sitting with a number of women. He was dressed in European clothes, part of them being a pair of trousers he begged for yesterday, that he might appear like Bana. This was his first appearance in trousers, and his whole attire, contrasting strangely with his native habiliments, was in his opinion very becoming, though to me a little ridiculous; for the legs of the trousers, as well as the sleeves of the waistcoat, were much too short, so that his black feet and hands stuck out at the extremities as an organ-player's monkey's do, whilst the cockscomb on his head prevented a fez cap, which was part of his special costume for the occasion, from sitting properly. This display over, the women were sent away, and I saw shown into a court, where a large number of plantains were placed in a line upon the ground for my men to take away, and we were promised the same treat every day. From this we proceeded to another court, where we sat in the shade together, when the women returned again, but were all dumb, because my interpreters dared not for their lives say anything, even on my account, to the king's women. Getting tired, I took out my sketch-book and drew Lubuga, the pet, which amused the king immensely as he recognised her cockscomb.

Then twenty naked virgins, the daughters of Wakungu, all smeared and shining with grease, each holding a small square of mbugu for a fig-leaf, marched in a line before us, as a fresh addition to the harem, whilst the happy fathers floundered n'yanzigging on the ground, delighted to find their darlings appreciated by the king. Seeing this done in such a quiet mild way before all my men, who dared not lift their heads to see it, made me burst into a roar of laughter, and the king, catching the infection from me, laughed as well: but the laughing did not end there--for the pages, for once giving way to nature, kept bursting--my men chuckled in sudden gusts--while even the women, holding their mouths for fear of detection, responded--and we all laughed together. Then a sedate old dame rose from the squatting mass, ordered the virgins to right-about, and marched them off, showing their still more naked reverses. I now obtained permission for the Wakungu to call upon me, and fancied I only required my interpreters to speak out like men when I had anything to say, to make my residence in Uganda both amusing and instructive; but though the king, carried off by the prevailing good-humour of the scene we had both witnessed, supported me, I found that he had counter-ordered what he had said as soon as I had gone, and, in fact, no Mkungu ever dared come near me.

25th.--To-day I visited Usungu again, and found him better. He gave pombe and plantains for my people, but would not talk to me, though I told him he had permission to call on me.

I have now been for some time within the court precincts, and have consequently had an opportunity of witnessing court customs. Among these, nearly every day since I have changed my residence, incredible as it may appear to be, I have seen one, two, or three of the wretched palace women led away to execution, tied by the hand, and dragged along by one of the body-guard, crying out, as she went to premature death, "Hai Minange!" (O my lord!) "Kbakka!" (My king!) "Hai N'yawo!" (My mother!) at the top of her voice, in the utmost despair and lamentation; and yet there was not a soul who dared lift hand to save any of them, though many might be heard privately commenting on their beauty.

26th.--To-day, to amuse the king, I drew a picture of himself holding a levee, and proceeded to visit him. On the way I found the highroad thronged with cattle captured in Unyoro; and on arrival at the ante-chamber, amongst the officers in waiting, Masimbi (Mr Cowries or Shells), the queen's uncle, and Congow, a young general, who once led an army into Unyoro, past Kamrasi's palace. They said they had obtained leave for me to visit them, and were eagerly looking out for the happy event. At once, on firing, I was admitted to the king's favourite place, which, now that the king had a movable chair to sit upon, was the shade of the court screen. We had a chat; the picture was shown to the women; the king would like to have some more, and gave me leave to draw in the palace any time I liked. At the same time he asked for my paint-box, merely to look at it. Though I repeatedly dunned him for it, I could never get it back from him until I was preparing to leave Uganda.

27th.--After breakfast I started on a visit to Congow; but finding he had gone to the king as usual, called at Masimbi's and he being absent also, I took advantage of my proximity to the queen's palace to call on her majesty. For hours I was kept waiting; firstly, because she was at breakfast; secondly, because she was "putting on medicine"; and, thirdly, because the sun was too powerful for her complexion; when I became tired of her nonsense, and said, "If she does not wish to see me, she had better say so at once, else I shall walk away; for the last time I came I saw her but for a minute, when she rudely turned her back upon me, and left me sitting by myself." I was told not to be in a hurry--she would see me in the evening. This promise might probably be fulfilled six blessed hours from the time when it was made; but I thought to myself, every place in Uganda is alike when there is no company at home, and so I resolved to sit the time out, like Patience on a monument, hoping something funny might turn up after all.

At last her majesty stumps out, squats behind my red blanket, which is converted into a permanent screen, and says hastily, or rather testily, "Can't Bana perceive the angry state of the weather?--clouds flying about, and the wind blowing half a gale? Whenever that is the case, I cannot venture out." Taking her lie without an answer, I said, I had now been fifty days or so doing nothing in Uganda--not one single visitor of my own rank ever came near me, and I could not associated with people far below her condition and mine--in fact, all I had to amuse me at home now was watching a hen lay her eggs upon my spare bed. Her majesty became genial, as she had been before, and promised to provide me with suitable society. I then told her I had desired my officers several times to ask the king how marriages were conducted in this country, as they appeared so different from ours, but they always said they dared not put such a question to him, and now I hoped she would explain it to me. To tell her I could not get anything from the king, I knew would be the surest way of eliciting what I wanted from her, because of the jealousy between the two courts; and in this instance it was fully proved, for she brightened up at once, and, when I got her to understand something of what I meant by a marriage ceremony, in high good humour entered on a long explanation, to the following effect:--

There are no such things as marriages in Uganda; there are no ceremonies attached to it. If any Mkungu possessed of a pretty daughter committed an offence, he might give her to the king as a peace-offering; if any neighbouring king had a pretty daughter, and the king of Uganda wanted her, she might be demanded as a fitting tribute. The Wakungu in Uganda are supplied with women by the king, according to their merits, from seizures in battle abroad, or seizures from refractory officers at home. The women are not regarded as property according to the Wanyamuezi practice, though many exchange their daughters; and some women, for misdemeanours, are sold into slavery; whilst others are flogged, or are degraded to do all the menial services of the house.

The Wakungu then changed the subject by asking, if I married a black woman, would there be any offspring, and what would be their colour? The company now became jovial, when the queen improved it by making a significant gesture, and with roars of laughter asking me if I would like to be her son-in-law, for she had some beautiful daughters, either of the Wahuma, or Waganda breed. Rather staggered at first by this awful proposal, I consulted Bombay what I should do with one if I got her. He, looking more to number one than my convenience, said, "By all means accept the offer, for if YOU don't like her, WE should, and it would be a good means of getting her out of this land of death, for all black people love Zanzibar." The rest need not be told; as a matter of course I had to appear very much gratified, and as the bowl went round, all became uproarious. I must wait a day or two, however, that a proper selection might be made; and when the marriage came off, I was to chain the fair one two or three days, until she became used to me, else, from mere fright, she might run away.

To keep up the spirits of the queen, though her frequent potions of pombe had wellnigh done enough, I admired her neck-ring, composed of copper wire, with a running inlaid twist of iron, and asked her why she wore such a wreath of vine-leaves, as I had often seen on some of the Wakungu. On this she produced a number of rings similar to the one she wore, and taking off her own, placed it round my neck. Then, pointing to her wreath, she said, "This is the badge of a kidnapper's office--whoever wears it, catches little children." I inferred that its possession, as an insignia of royalty, conferred on the bearer the power of seizure, as the great seal in this country confers power on public officers.

The queen's dinner was now announced; and, desiring me to remain where I was for a short time, she went to it. She sent me several dishes (plantain-leaves), with well-cooked beef and mutton, and a variety of vegetables, from her table, as well as a number of round moist napkins, made in the shape of wafers, from the freshly-drawn plantain fibres, to wash the hands and face with. There was no doubt now about her culinary accomplishments. I told her so when she returned, and that I enjoyed her parties all the more because they ended with a dinner. "More pombe, more pombe," cried the queen, full of mirth and glee, helping everybody round in turn, and shouting and laughing at their Kiganda witticisms--making, though I knew not a word said, an amusing scene to behold--till the sun sank; and her majesty remarking it, turned to her court and said, "If I get up, will Bana also rise, and not accuse me of deserting him?" With this speech a general rising took place, and, watching the queen's retiring, I stood with my hat in hand, whilst all the Wakungu fell upon their knees, and then all separated.

28th.--I went to the palace, and found, as usual, a large levee waiting the king's pleasure to appear; amongst whom were the Kamraviona, Masimbi, and the king's sister Miengo. I fired my gun, and admitted at once, but none of the others could follow me save Miengo. The king, sitting on the chair with his women by his side, ordered twelve cloths, the presents of former Arab visitors, to be brought before him; and all of these I was desired to turn into European garments, like my own coats, trousers, and waistcoats. It was no use saying I had no tailors--the thing must be done somehow; for he admired my costume exceedingly, and wished to imitate it now he had cloth enough for ever to dispense with the mbugu.

As I had often begged the king to induce his men, who are all wonderfully clever artisans, to imitate the chair and other things I gave him, I now told him if he would order some of his sempsters, who are far cleverer with the needle than my men, to my camp, I would cut up some old clothes, and so teach them how to work. This was agreed to, and five cows were offered as a reward; but as his men never came, mine had to do the job.

Maula then engaged the king's attention for fully an hour, relating what wonderful things Bana kept in his house, if his majesty would only deign to see them; and for this humbug got rewarded by a present of three women. Just at this juncture an adjutant flew overhead, and, by way of fun, I presented my gun, when the excited king, like a boy from school, jumped up, forgetting his company, and cried, "Come, Bana, and shoot the nundo; I know where he has gone--follow me." And away we went, first through one court, then through another, till we found the nundo perched on a tree, looking like a sedate old gentleman with a bald head, and very sharp, long nose. Politeness lost the bird; for whilst I wished the king to shoot, he wished me to do so, from fear of missing it himself. He did not care about vultures--he could practise at them at any time; but he wanted a nundo above all things. The bird, however, took the hint, and flew away.