Chapter II: Part 2

_Plu._ Regimus, regitis, re_gunt_,
Is much like a bear in a punt.

_Rule_ 3. Should you be desired to give the English of each person in the tense which you are repeating, you may (we mean a class of you), follow a plan adopted with great success and striking effect in that kind of dramatic representation entitled "A Grand Opera," that of _singing_ what you have to _say_. Hold up your head, turn out your toes, clear your voices, and begin. A-hem!

[Plate:
GOING THROUGH THE VERBS.
AUDIO--I HEAR.]

Fourth Conjugation. Audio.

_Trio._

_Sing._ Audio, I hear the Tartar drum!
Audis, Thou hearest the Tartar drum!
Audit, He hears the Tartar drum!--
the Tartar drum! the Tartar drum!

_Chorus._ He hears!
He hears!

He h - - e - - - a - - rs the Tar - tar drum!
_Plu._ Audimus, We hear the Tartar drum, &c.

VERBS IRREGULAR--

Are _regular_ bores. The above Rules are equally applicable to them, and also to the

DEFECTIVE VERBS;

Concerning which it may be asserted, that though almost all of them have tenses more or less imperfect, there are some which have not a single _Imperfect Tense_.

IMPERSONAL VERBS.

Such as delectat, it delighteth; decet, it becometh, &c., answer to such English verbs as take the word _it_ before them. When we consider that _it_ is a term of endearment used in speaking to babies, as "it's a pretty dear," we cannot help thinking that Verbs Impersonal ought to be _pet_ verbs. Such however, is not, as far as we know, the fact.

+OF A PARTICIPLE.+

A participle is a hybrid part of speech; a kind of mongrel-cross, between a noun and a verb. It is two parts verbs, and four parts noun; wherefore its composition may be likened unto the milk sold in and about London, which is usually watered in the proportion of four to two. The properties of the noun belonging to it, are, number, gender, case, and declension; those of the verb, tense, and signification.

As a horse hath four legs, so hath a verb four participles.

_Air._-- Bonnets of Blue.

There 's one of the present,-- and then,
There 's one of the future in _rus_;
Of the tense preterperfect a third,-- and again,
A fourth of the future in _dus_.

Participles are declined like nouns adjective, as-- but no! how can we ask our fair (blue) readers to decline _a-man's_ (amans) loving.

Now here we feel called upon to say a few words on the difference between a man's loving and a woman's loving. It has often been a question, whether do men or women love most _dearly_? To us the matter does not appear to admit of a doubt. We defy any of our male readers to be in love (when they are old and silly enough) for six months without finding themselves most grievously out of pocket. We have a friend who was in that unfortunate condition for about a month, and it cost him at least seven and sixpence a week in fees to the maid servant, and that without once being enabled to exchange a word with the object of his affections. At last he began to think that he was paying rather too dear for his whistle; so he gave it up. What girl would have held on so long, and laid out so much money without a return-- not of soft affection, but of hard cash? Women, indeed, instead of loving dearly, love, according to our own experience, particularly cheaply. Think of what they save, by taking their admirers "shopping" with them, in ribands, bracelets, and the like, to say nothing of coach-hire, pastry-cooks, and the price of admission, when they go with them to the play. And we should like to hear of the young lady who in these days would dispose of her hand at any thing less than a good round sum if she could help it-- no, no. To love _dearly_ is the precious prerogative of the lords of the creation alone.

But we are forgetting our participles.

The participle of the present tense ends in _ans_, or _ens_; as Flagellans, whipping; Lædens, hurting.

That of the future in _rus_, signifies a likelihood, or design of doing something, as Flagellaturus, about to whip; Læsurus, about to hurt.

That of the preterperfect tense has generally a passive signification, and ends in _us_, as Flagellatus, whipped; Læsus, hurt.

That of the future in _dus_ has also a passive signification, as Flagellandus, to be whipped; Lædendus, to be hurt.

_Note_ 1. All participles are declined like nouns adjective. We recommend the above participles to be declined like _winking_.

2. There are three things that are not hurt by whipping-- a top, a syllabub, and a cream.

+OF AN ADVERB.+

Convex and concave spectacles are contrivances used to increase or diminish the magnitude of objects.

Adverbs are parts of speech used to increase or diminish the signification of words.

Spectacles are joined to the bridge of the nose.

Adverbs are joined to nouns adjective, and verbs. Benè, well; multùm, much; malè, ill, &c. are adverbs.

Cæsar _multûm_ conturbavit indigenas:

Cæsar much astonished the natives.

+OF A CONJUNCTION.+

A conjunction is a part of speech that joineth together; wherefore it may be likened unto many things; for instance--

To glue, to paste, to gum arabic, to mortar, (for it joins words and sentences together _like bricks_), to Roman cement, (_Latin_ conjunctions more especially), to white of egg, to isinglass, to putty, to adhesive plaster, to matrimony.

Conjunctions are thus used.

Ova _et_ lardum, eggs and bacon. Dimidium dimidium_que_, half-and-half. Amor _et_ dementia, love and madness.

+OF A PREPOSITION.+

A Preposition is a part of speech commonly _set before_ another word. Words, however, do not eat each other, though men have been known to eat words. Ab, ad, ante, &c. prepositions.

Sometimes a preposition is joined in composition with another word, as _pro_stratus, knocked down-- floored.

Tullius ab aquario _pro_stratus est:

Tully was knocked down by a waterman.

+OF AN INTERJECTION.+

An interjection is a word expressing a sudden emotion or feeling, as Hei! Oh dear!-- Heu! Lack-a-day!-- Hem! Brute, Hollo! Brutus.-- Euge! Tite, Bravo! Titus.

We here find ourselves approaching the delightful subject of the three Concords, with which we shall make short work, first, for fear of further _Accidence_, and, secondly, because we are no fonder than boys are of _repetitions_, which, were we to follow the Eton Grammar in the Concords, we should be obliged to make in the Syntax.

However, there are just one or two points to be mentioned.

_Rule._ (Text-hand copy-books.) "Ask no questions."

_Exception._ When you want to find where the concord should be, ask the following--

Who? or what?-- to find the nominative case to the verb.

Whom? or what? with the verb, for the accusative after it.

Who? or what? with the adjective, for the substantive to the adjective.

Who? or what? with the verb, for the antecedent to the relative.

But remember, that the use of the interrogatives who? and what? however justifiable in grammar, is very impertinent in conversation. What, for example, can be more ill-bred than to say, Who are you? Indeed, most questions are ill mannered. We do not speak of such expressions as, Has your mother sold her mangle? and the like, used only by persons who have never asked themselves where they expect to go to? but of all unnecessary demands whatever. "Sir," said the great Dr. Johnson, "it is uncivil to be continually asking, Why is a dog's tail short, or why is a cow's tail long."

+OF THE GENDERS OF NOUNS,+

Commonly known by the name of

_"Propria Quæ Maribus."_

As the "Propria Quæ Maribus" is no joke, and the "As in Præsenti" is too much of a joke, we must do with them as we did with the verbs. Singing a song is always esteemed a valid substitute for telling a story; and the indulgence which we would have extended to us in this respect, is that universally granted to civilized society.

Let the "Propria Quæ Maribus" be turned into a series of exercises, thus, or in like manner--

_Air._-- "Here 's to the maiden of bashful fifteen."

All names of the male kind you masculine call,
Ut sunt (for example), Divorum,
Mars, Bacchus, Apollo, the deities all,
And Cato, Virgilius, virorum.
Latin 's a bore, and bothers me sore,
Oh how I wish that my lesson was o'er.

Fluviorum, ut Tibris, Orontes likewise,
Fine rivers in ocean that lost are,
And Mensium-- October an instance supplies;
Ventorum, ut Libs, Notus, Auster.
Latin 's a bore, &c.

We do not pretend that the mode of study here recommended, is perfectly original. The genuine Propria Quæ Maribus, and As in Præsenti, like the writings of the most remote antiquity, consist of certain useful truths recorded in harmonious numbers. It has been a question among commentators, whether these interesting compositions were originally intended to be said or sung. Analogy (we mean that derived from the works of Homer and Virgil) would incline us to the latter opinion, which however does not appear to have been generally entertained in the schools. We shall give one more specimen in the above style; and we beg it may be remembered, that in so doing, we have no wish to detract in any way from the merit of the illustrious poet in the Eton Grammar; all we think is, that he might have introduced a little more _comicality_ into his work, while he was about it.

+OF THE PRETERPERFECT TENSE, &c. OF VERBS.+

_Otherwise the "As in Præsenti."_

As in Præsenti-- Preterperfect-- avi,
Oh! send me well done, lean, and lots of gravy,
Save lavo, lavi, nexo, nexui.
Ah! me-- how sweet is cream with apple-pie,
Juvi from juvo, secui from seco,
Could n't I lie and tipple, more Græco!
From neco, necui, and mico, word
Which micui makes, Oh! roast goose, lovely bird!
Plico which plicui gives. Delightful grub!
And frico, fricas, fricui, to rub--
So domo, tono, domui, tonui make.
And sono, sonui.-- Lead me to the stake,
I mean the beef-_stake_-- crepo, crepui too,
Which means to _crack_ (as roasted chestnuts do,)
Then veto, vetui makes-- _forbidding_ sound,
Cubo, to lie along (these verbs confound
Ye gods) makes cubui, do gives rightly dedi;
What viler object than a coat that 's seedy?--
Sto to form steti has a predilection;
Well-- let it if it likes, I've no objection.
&c. &c. &c.

+SYNTAXIS,+

_or the Construction of Grammar._

_Q._ What part of the grammar resembles the indulgences sold in the middle ages?

_A._ _Sin_-tax.

THE FIRST CONCORD;
THE NOMINATIVE CASE AND THE VERB.

Where there is much _personality_, there is generally little concord.

However, a verb personal agrees with its nominative case in number and person, as Sera nunquam est ad bonos mores via, The way to good manners is never too late. Mind that, brother Jonathan.

_Note_-- The above maxim is especially worthy of the attention of neophytes in law and medicine; of the gods in the gallery, and of Members of the _House_.

The nominative case of pronouns is rarely expressed, except for the sake of distinction or emphasis, as--

_Tu_ es exquisitus, _tu_ es,

_You_ 're a nice man, _you_ are.

Sometimes a sentence is the nominative case to the verb, as

Ingenuas pugni didicisse fideliter artes,
Mollitos mores non sinit esse viri.

The faithful study of the fistic art
From mawkish softness guards a Briton's heart.

[Plate:
INGENUAS PUGNI DIDICISSE FIDELITER ARTES
MOLLITOS MORES NON SINIT ESSE VIRI.]

Who can doubt it? But, besides, we have much to say in praise of boxing. In the first place, it is a _classical_ accomplishment. To say nothing of the Olympic and Isthmian Games, which are of themselves sufficient proof of the elegant and _fanciful_ tastes of the ancients; we need only allude to the fact, that the _Corinthians_ are universally celebrated for their proficiency in this science. Then, of its eminently _social_ tendency, there can be no doubt. What can be more conducive to good fellowship, and conviviality than the frequent _tapping of claret_, attendant both on its study and practice? Nor can its beneficial influence on the fine arts be called in question, seeing that its immediate object is to teach us the _use of our hands_. And (which perhaps is the most pursuasive argument of all), it is particularly pleasing to the fair sex, who besides their well known admiration of _bravery_, are, to a woman, devotedly attached to the _ring_.

Sometimes an adverb with a genitive case stands in the place of the nominative, as--

Partim astutorum mordebantur,

Part of the knowing ones were bit.

We must contend that the above is a _racy_ observation.

EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE.

Verbs of the infinitive mood-- but hold. Remember that there is scarcely any rule without an exception; and this axiom particularly applies to the Syntax. We used to wish it did not; because then we should not have had so much to learn-- to resume however--

Verbs of the infinitive mood often have set before them an accusative case instead of a nominative; the conjunction quod, or ut, being left out, as

Annam reginam aiunt occubuisse:

They say that Queen Anne's dead.

A verb placed between two nominative cases of different numbers, is not like a donkey between two stacks of hay, it makes choice of one or the other, and agrees with it, as

Amygdalæ amaræ venenum _est_,

Bitter almonds _is_ poison.

We have written the English beneath the Latin. Perhaps it may be imagined that we think good English _beneath_ us.

A singular noun of multitude is sometimes joined to a plural verb; as

Pars puerorum philosophum secuti sunt,

Part of the boys followed the philosopher.

And so they would now, particularly if they saw one in costume.

Verbs impersonal have no nominative case before them, as

Tædet me Grammatices, I am weary of Grammar.

Pertæsum est Syntaxeos, I am quite sick of Syntax.

Mirificum visum est Socratem in gyrum saltantem videre,

It seemed wonderful to behold Socrates jumping Jim Crow.

SECOND CONCORD.
THE SUBSTANTIVE AND THE ADJECTIVE.

Adjectives, participles, and pronouns agree with the substantive in gender, number, and case, as

Vir exiguo conventui, sobrioque idoneus:

A nice man for a small tea-party.

The Spartans, probably, were men of this kind; their aversion to drunkenness being well known.

Observe how close the concord is between substantive and adjective. The ties of wedlock are nothing to it; for, besides that in that happy state there is very often not a little discord, it is quite impossible that man and wife should ever agree in _gender_.

Sometimes a sentence supplies the place of a substantive; the adjective being placed in the neuter gender, as

Audito reginam leones c[oe]nantes visisse:

It being heard that Her Majesty had gone to see the lions at supper.

THIRD CONCORD.
THE RELATIVE AND THE ANTECEDENT.

The relative and antecedent hit it off very well together; they agree one with the other in gender, number, and person, as

Qui plenos haurit cyathos, madidusque quiescit,
Ille bonam degit vitam, moriturque facetus.

"He who drinks plenty, and goes to bed mellow,
Lives as he ought to do, and dies a jolly fellow."

Horace was the fellow for this kind of thing. Cato must have been a regular wet blanket.

Sometimes a sentence is placed for an antecedent, as

Heliogabalus, spiritu contento, viginti quatuor ostrearum
demersit in alvum, quod Dandoni etiam longé antecellit.

Heliogabalus, at one breath, swallowed two dozen of oysters,
which beats even Dando out and out.

Many of the ancients could swallow a good deal.

A relative placed between two substantives of different genders and numbers, sometimes agrees with the latter, as

Pueri tuentur illum librum quæ Latina Grammatices et Comica dicitur.

Boys regard that book which is called the Comic Latin Grammar.

Sometimes a relative agrees with the primitive, which is understood in the possessive, as

Mirabantur impudentiam suam qui ad reginam literas misit.

They wondered at his impudence, who wrote a letter to the queen.

If a nominative case be interposed between the relative and the verb, the relative is governed by the verb, or by some other word which is placed in the sentence with the verb, as

Luciferi quos Prometheus surripuit, ad Jovem cujus numen contempsit,
pertinebant.

The Lucifers which Prometheus shirked, belonged to Jupiter,
whose authority he despised.

In fact, Prometheus _made light_ of Jupiter's _lightning_.

We now take leave of the Concords, observing only how pleasant it is to see _relatives agree_.

[Plate:
PROMETHEUS VINCTUS.]

Our next subject is the

CONSTRUCTION OF NOUNS SUBSTANTIVE.

Which is not quite so amusing as the construction of small boats, paper kites, pinwheels, crackers, or any other mode of displaying the faculty of "constructiveness"-- though in one sense the construction of nouns substantive, is not unlike the construction of _puzzles_.

When two substantives of a different signification meet together, the latter is put in the genitive case, as

Ulysses lumen Cyclopis extinxit:

Ulysses doused the glim of the Cyclops.

This genitive case is sometimes changed into a dative, as

Urbi pater est, urbique maritus. --Gram. Eton.

He is the father of the city, and the husband of the city.

He must have been a pretty fellow, whoever he was.

An adjective of the neuter gender, put without a substantive, sometimes requires a genitive case, as

Paululùm honestatis sartori sufficit:

A very little honesty is enough for a tailor.

A genitive case is sometimes placed alone; the preceding substantive being understood by the figure ellipsis, as

Ubi ad magistri veneris, cave verbum de porco:

When you are come to the master's (house), not a word about the pig.

The word pig is a very general term, and is used to signify not only the animal so called, and such of the human race as resemble him in habits, appearance, or feelings; but also to denote a variety of little things, which it is sometimes necessary to keep secret. A pedagogue now and then discovers a _pig-tail_ appended to his coat collar-- this, or rather the way in which it got there, is one of the little _pigs_ in question. Robbing the larder or the garden is another; so is insinuating horse-hairs into the cane, or putting cobbler's wax on the seat of learning -- we mean the master's stool. A sort of _pig_ (or rather a _rat_) is sometimes _smelt_ by the master on taking his nightly walk though the dormitories, when roast fowl, mince pies, bread and cheese, shrub, punch, &c. have been slyly smuggled into those places of repose. Shirking down town is always a _pig_, and the consequences thereof, in case of discovery, a great _bore_.

Considering that a secret is a _pig_, it is singular that betraying one should be called letting the _cat_ out of the bag.

[Plate:
SMELLING A PIG.]

Two substantives respecting the same thing are put in the same case, as

Telemachum, juvenem bonæ indolis, Calypso existimavit.

Calypso thought Telemachus a nice young man.

By the way, what a nice young man Virgil makes out Marcellus to have been!

Praise, dispraise, or the quality of a thing is placed in the ablative, and also in the genitive case-- as

Vir paucorum verborum et magni appetitûs:

A man of few words and large appetite.

Paterfamilias. Vir multis miseriis:

A father of a family. A man of many woes.

The man of most _woes_, however, is a hackney-coachman.

Opus, need, and usus, need, require an ablative case, as

Didoni marito opus erat;

Dido had need of a husband.

Æneæ c[oe]nâ usus erat;

Æneas had need of a dinner.

But opus appears to be sometimes placed like an adjective for necessarius, necessary, as

Regi Anthropophagorum coquus opus est:

The King of the Cannibal Islands wants a cook.

Which would serve his purpose best-- a valet-de-chambre who _dresses_ men, or a wit, who _roasts_ them?

THE CONSTRUCTION OF NOUNS ADJECTIVE.

THE GENITIVE CASE AFTER THE ADJECTIVE.

Adjectives which signify desire, knowledge, memory, fear, and the contrary to these, require a genitive case, as

Est natura vetularum obtrectationis avida:

The nature of old women is fond of scandal.

This particularly applies to old maids. As those delightful creatures now-a-days, not content with being _grey_ aspire to be actually _blue_; we cannot help recommending to them a kind of study, for which their propensity to _cutting up_ renders them peculiarly adapted; we mean _Anatomy_. And since it is on the foulest and most odious points of character that they chiefly delight to dwell, we more especially suggest to them the pursuit of _Morbid Anatomy_, as one which is likely to be attended both with gratification and success.

Mens tempestatum præscia:

A mind foreknowing the weather.

A piece of _sea-weed_ has often, heretofore, been used as a barometer; but it is only of late that this purpose has been answered by a _murphy_.

Immemor beneficii:

Unmindful of a kindness.

The sort of kindness one is least likely to forget is that which our master used to say he conferred upon us, when he was inculcating learning by means of the rod. We cannot help thinking, however, that he began _at the wrong end_.

Imperitus rerum:

Unacquainted with the world, i.e. Not 'up to snuff'.

Much controversy has been wasted in attempts to determine the origin of the phrase "up to snuff". Some have contended that it was suggested by the well-known quality possessed by snuff, of _clearing the head_; but this idea is far fetched, not to say absurd. Others will have that the expression was derived from Snofe, or Snoffe, the name of a cunning rogue who flourished about the time of the first crusade; so that "up to Snoffe" signified as clever, or knowing, as Snoffe; and was in process of time converted into "up to snuff." This opinion is deserving of notice; though the only argument in its favour is, that the phrase in question was in vogue long before the discovery of tobacco. Probably the soundest view is that which connects it with the proper name Znoufe, which in ancient High-Dutch is equivalent to Mercury, whose reputation for astuteness among the ancients was exceedingly great. Conf. Hookey-Walk, ii. 13. Hok. Pok. Wonk-Fum. viii. 24. Cheek. Marin. passim, with a host of commentators, ancient and modern.

Roscius timidus Deorum fuit:

_Roscius_ was afraid of the _Gods_.

Adjectives ending in _ax_, derived from verbs, also require a genitive case, as

Tempus edax rerum:

Time is the consumer of all things.

Hence Time is sometimes figured as an alderman.

Nouns partitive, nouns of number, nouns comparative and superlative, and certain adjectives put partitively, require a genitive case, from which also they take their gender; as

Utrum horum mavis accipe:

Take which of those two things you had rather.

So Queen Eleanor gave Fair Rosamond her choice between the dagger and the bowl of poison. This, to our mind, would have been like choosing a tree to be hanged on.

Primus fidicinum fuit Orpheus:

Orpheus was the first of fiddlers.

He is said to have charmed the hearts of broomsticks.

Momus lepidissimus erat Deorum:

Momus was the funniest of the Gods.

Other deities may have made Jupiter shake his head. Momus used to make him shake his sides.

Sequimur te, sancte deorum:

We follow thee, O sacred deity.

Namely, the aforesaid Momus. He is the only heathen god that we should have had much reverence for, and certainly the only one that we should ever have sacrificed to at all. The offering most commonly made to the god of laughter was, probably, _a sacrifice of propriety_.

But the above nouns are also used with these prepositions, a, ab, de, e, ex, inter, ante; as,

Primus inter philosophos Democritus est:

Democritus is the first amongst philosophers.

And why? Because he alone was wise enough to find out that laughing is better than crying. He it was who first proved to the world that philosophy and comicality are, in fact, one science; and that the more we learn the more we laugh. We forget whether it was he or Aristotle who made the remark, that man is the only laughing animal except the hyæna.

_Secundus_ sometimes requires a dative case, as

Haud ulli veterum virtute secundus:

Inferior to none of the ancients in valour.

Surely Virgil in saying this, had an eye to a hero, whose fame has been perpetuated in the verses of a later poet.

"Some talk of Alexander, and some of Pericles,
Of Conon and Lysander, and Alcibiades;
But of all the gallant heroes, there 's none for to compare,
With my ri-fol-de-riddle-iddle-lol to the British grenadier!"

An interrogative, and the word which answers to it, shall be of the same case and tense, except words of a different construction be made use of; as

Quarum rerum nulla est satietas? Pomorum.

Of what things is there no fulness? Of fruit.

Dr. Johnson used to say that he never got as much wall fruit as he could eat.

THE DATIVE CASE AFTER THE ADJECTIVE.

Adjectives by which advantage, disadvantage, likeness, unlikeness, pleasure, submission, or relation to any thing is signified, require a dative case; as

Astaci incocti patriæ idonei sunt in pace; cocti autem in bello.

Raw lobsters are serviceable to their country in peace; but boiled
ones in war.

Lobster's _claws_ are nasty things to get into.

The Corporation of London seemed very much afraid of the _Police clause_.

One of the reasons why a soldier is sometimes called a lobster, probably is, that the latter is a _marine_ animal.

Balænæ persimile:

Very like a whale.

Qui color albus erat nunc est contrarius albo:

The colour which was white is now contrary to white.

Some people will swear white is black to gain their ends; and a man who will do this, though he may not always be--

Jucundus amicis:

Pleasant to his friends;

is nevertheless frequently so to his _constituents_.

Hither are referred nouns compounded of the preposition _con_, as contubernalis, a comrade; commilito, a fellow soldier, &c. You must _con_ all such words attentively before you can _con_strue well, or the _con_sequence will be, that you will be _con_siderably blown up, if not _con_foundedly flogged.

Some of these which signify similitude, are also joined to a genitive case, as

Par uncti fulminis:

Like greased lightning.

The familiarity of our transatlantic friends with the nature of the electric fluid, is no doubt owing to the discoveries of their countryman Franklin. _Q._ Was the lightning which that philosopher drew down from the clouds, of the kind mentioned in the example?

Communis, common; alienus, strange; immunis, free, are joined to a genitive, dative, and also to an ablative case, with a preposition, as

Aures longæ communes asinorum sunt:

Long ears are common to asses.

Though _musical_ ears are not. We even doubt whether they would have the slightest admiration for _Bray_-ham.

Non sunt communes caudæ hominibus:

Tails are not common to men.

Except coat-tails, shirt-tails, pig-tails, and rats'-tails-- to which en-_tails_ may perhaps also be added, though these last are often cut off.

Non alienus a poculo cerevisiæ:

Not averse to a pot of beer.

We should think we were not; and should as soon think of engaging in an unnatural quarrel with our bread and butter.

Natus, born; commodus, convenient; incommodus, inconvenient; utilis, useful; inutilis, useless; vehemens, earnest; aptus, fit, are sometimes also joined to an accusative case with a preposition, as

Natus ad laqueum:

Born to a halter.

Those who are reserved for this exalted destiny, are said to enjoy a peculiar immunity from drowning. Is this the reason why _watermen_ are such a set of rogues?

To prevent mistakes, it should be mentioned, that the _watermen_ here meant are those who, by their own account, are so called from their office being _to shut the doors of hackney coaches_.

Verbal adjectives ending in _bilis_, taken passively, and participles made adjectives ending in _dus_, require a dative case; as

Nulli penetrabilis astro;

Penetrable by no _star_--

not fond of _acting_?

O venerande mihi Liston! te luget Olympus:

O Liston, to be venerated by me the _Olympic_ bewails thee.

THE ACCUSATIVE CASE AFTER THE ADJECTIVE.

The measure of quantity is put after adjectives, in the accusative, the ablative, and the genitive case, as

Anguis centum pedes longus:

A snake a hundred feet long.

Arbor gummifera, alta mille et quingentis passibus.

A gum-tree a mile and a half high.

Aranea, lata pedum denum:

A spider ten feet broad.

An accusative case is sometimes put after adjectives and participles, where the preposition secundum, appears to be understood, as

Os humerosque asello similis:

Like to a cod-fish as to his head and shoulders.

Some men _are_ exceedingly like a cod-fish, as to their head and shoulders, and they often endeavour to increase this natural resemblance as much as possible, by wearing _gills_.

THE ABLATIVE CASE AFTER THE ADJECTIVE.

Adjectives which relate to plenty or want, sometimes require an ablative, sometimes a genitive case, as

Amor et melle et felle est f[oe]cundissimus:

Love is very full both of honey and gall.

The _honey_ of love is-- we do not know exactly what. Honey, however, is Latin for love, as the Irishman said.

The gall of love consists in

First. Tight boots, in which it is often necessary to do penance before _our Lady's_ window. This is at all events very _galling_.

Secondly. In lover's sighs, to which it communicates their peculiar _bitterness_.

Thirdly. Another very _galling_ thing in love is being cut out.

Fourthly. Love is one of the passions treated of by _Gall_ and Spurzheim.

Adjectives and substantives govern an ablative case, signifying the cause and the form, or the manner of a thing, as

Demosthenes vociferatione raucus erat:

Demosthenes was hoarse with bawling.

Nomine grammaticus, re barbarus:

A grammarian in name; in reality a barbarian.

Like many of the old masters-- we do not mean painters-- though we certainly allude to _brothers of the brush_-- perhaps it would be better to call them _brothers of the angle_, on account of their partiality to the _rod_. Does the reader _twig_? If so, it is unnecessary to _branch_ out into a discussion with regard to the nature of the barbarity hinted at-- a kind of barbarity which, though it may proclaim its perpetrators to be by no means allied to the _feline_ race, connects them most decidedly with the _canine_ species.

Dignus, worthy; indignus, unworthy; præditus, endued; captus, disabled; contentus, content; extorris, banished; fretus, relying upon; liber, free; with adjectives signifying price, require an ablative case, as

Leander dignus erat meliore fato:

Leander was worthy of a better fate.

Poor fellow! first to be head over ears in love, and then over head and ears in the sea! Shocking! What an _hero_ic young man he must have been.-- What _a duck_, too, the fair Hero must have thought him as she watched him from her lonely tower, nearing her every moment, as he cleft with lusty arm the foaming herring-pond. We mean the Hellespont-- but no matter. What a _goose_ he must have been considered by any one else who happened to know of his nightly exploits! How miserably he was _gulled_ at last! Never mind. If Leander went to the _fishes_ for love, many a better man than he, has, before and since, gone, from the same cause, to the _dogs_.

Conscientia procuratoris solidis sex, denariis octo, venale est;

A lawyer's conscience is to be sold for six and eightpence.

Some of these, sometimes admit a genitive case, as

Carmina digna deæ:

Verses worthy of a goddess.

Whether the following verses are worthy of a goddess or not, we shall not attempt to decide; they were addressed to one at all events-- at least to a being who, if _idolizing_ constitutes a goddess, may, perhaps, be termed one. We met with them in turning over the pages of an album.

LINES BY A FOND LOVER.

Lovely maid, with rapture swelling,
Should these pages meet thine eye,
Clouds of absence soft dispelling;
Vacant memory heaves a sigh.

As the rose, with fragrance weeping,
Trembles to the tuneful wave,
So my heart shall twine unsleeping,
Till it canopies the grave!

Though another's smiles requited,
Envious fate my doom should be:
Joy for ever disunited,
Think, ah! think, at times on me!

Oft amid the spicy gloaming,
Where the brakes their songs instil,
Fond affection silent roaming,
Loves to linger by the rill--

There when echo's voice consoling,
Hears the nightingale complain,
Gentle sighs my lips controlling,
Bind my soul in beauty's chain.

Oft in slumber's deep recesses,
I thy mirror'd image see;
Fancy mocks the vain caresses
I would lavish like a bee!

But how vain is glittering sadness!
Hark, I hear distraction's knell!
Torture gilds my heart with madness!
Now for ever fare thee well!

It would be interesting as well as instructive to settle the difference between love verses and nonsense verses, if this were the proper place for doing so. But we are not yet come to the Prosody; nor shall we arrive there very soon unless we get on with the Syntax.

Comparatives, when they may be explained by the word quam, than, require an ablative case, as

Achilles Agamemnone velocior erat:

Achilles was a faster man than Agamemnon.

_Fast men_ in modern times are very apt to _outrun the constable_.

Tanto, by so much, quanto, by how much, hoc, by this, eo, by this, and quo, by which; with some other words which signify the measure of exceeding; likewise ætate, by age, and natu, by birth, are often joined to comparatives and superlatives, as

Tanto deformissimus, quanto sapientissimus philosophorum.

By so much the ugliest, by how much the wisest of philosophers.

Such an one was Socrates. It is all very well to have a contemplative disposition; but it need not be accompanied by a _contemplative nose_.

Quo plus habent, eo plus cupiunt:

The more they have the more they want.

This is a curious fact in the natural history of school-boys, considered in relation to roast beef and plum pudding.

Maximum ætate virum in totâ Kentuckiâ contudi:

I whopped the oldest man in all Kentucky.

THE CONSTRUCTION OF PRONOUNS.

All those who would understand the construction of pronouns, should take care to be well versed in the distinction between _meum_ and _tuum_, ignorance of which often gives rise to the disagreeable necessity of becoming too intimately acquainted with _quod_.

Mei, of me, tui, of thee, sui, of himself, nostri, of us, vestri, of you, (the genitive cases of their primitives ego, tu, &c.) are used when a person is signified, as

Languet desiderio tui:

He languishes for want of you.

You cannot give a more acceptable piece of information than the above, to any young lady. The fairer and more amiable sex always like to have something-- if not to love, at least to pity.

Parsque tui lateat corpore clausa meo. --_Eton Gram._

And a part of you may lie shut up in my body.

Or rather _may_ it so lie! How forcibly a sucking pig hanging up outside a pork-butcher's shop always recals this beautiful line of Ovid's to the mind!

Meus, mine, tuus, thine, suus, his own (Cocknicè his'n), noster, ours, vester, yours, are used when action, or the possession of a thing is signified; as

Qui bona quæ non sunt sua furtim subripit, ille
Tempore quo capitur, carcere clausus erit:

Him as prigs wot isn 't his'n,
Ven he's cotch'd 'll go to pris'n.

These possessive pronouns, meus, tuus, suus, noster, and vester, take after them these genitive cases,-- ipsius, of himself, solius, of him alone, unius, of one, duorum, of two, trium, of three, &c., omnium, of all, plurium, of more, paucorum, of few, cujusque, of every one, and also the genitive cases of participles, which are referred to the primitive word understood; as

Meis unius impensis pocula sex exhausi:

I drank six pots to my own cheek.

We wonder that any one should have the _face_ to say so.

Sui and suus are reciprocal pronouns, that is, they have always relation to that which went before, and was most to be noted in the sentence, as--

Jonathanus nimium admiratur se:

Jonathan admires himself too much.

Parcit erroribus suis, He spares his own errors.

Magnoperè Jonathanus rogat ne se derideas, Jonathan earnestly begs
that you would not laugh at him.

If you _do_, take care that he does not _blow you up_ one of these fine days.

These demonstrative pronouns, hic, iste, and ille are thus distinguished: hic points out the nearest to me; iste him who is by you; ille him who is at a distance from both of us.

In making _game_ of the Syntax, we regard them as _pointers_.

When hic and ille are referred to two things or persons going before, hic generally relates to the latter, ille to the former, as

Richardus Thomasque suum de more bibebant,
Ebrius hic vappis, ebrius ille mero:

Both Dick and Tom caroused away like swine,
Tom drunk with swipes, and Dicky drunk with wine.

THE CONSTRUCTION OF VERBS.

THE NOMINATIVE CASE AFTER THE VERB.

Verbs substantive, as sum, I am, forem, I might be, fio, I am made, existo, I am; verbs passive of calling, as nominor, I am named, appellor, I am called, dicor, I am said, vocor, I am called, nuncupor, I am named, and the like to them, as videor, I am seen, habeor, I am accounted, existimor, I am thought, have the same cases before and after them, as

Adeps viridis est summum bonum:

Green fat is the chief good.

Even among the ancients, _turtles_ were the emblems of love; which, next to eating and drinking, has always been the first object of human pursuit. This fact proves, very satisfactorily, two things, first, their proficiency in the science of gastronomy; and, secondly, their extreme susceptibility of the tender passion.

Pileus vocatur tegula:

A hat is called a tile.

Likewise all verbs in a manner admit after them an adjective, which agrees with the nominative case of the verb, in case, gender, and number, as

Pii orant taciti. --_Eton Gram._

The pious pray silently.

Is this a sly rap at the Quakers?

THE GENITIVE CASE AFTER THE VERB.

Sum requires a genitive case as often as it signifies possession, duty, sign, or that which relates to any thing; as

Quod rapidam trahit Ætatem pecus est Melib[oe]i,

The cattle _wot_ drags the _Age_, fast coach, is Melib[oe]us's.

Alas! that such an Age should be banished by the Age of rail-roads!-- let us hear the

COACHMAN'S LAMENT.

_Air._-- "Oh give me but my Arab steed."

Farewell my ribbons, and, alack!
Farewell my tidy drag;
Mail-coach-men now have got the _sack_,
And engineers the _bag_.

My heart and whip alike are broke--
I've lost my varmint team
That used to cut away like _smoke_,
But could n't go like _steam_.

It is, indeed, a bitter _cup_,
Thus to be sent to _pot_;
My bosom boils at boiling up
A gallop or a trot.

My very brain with _fury_ 's rack'd,
That railways are the _rage_;
I'm sure you'll never find them _act_,
Like our old English _stage_.

A man whose _passion_ 's crost, is sore,
Then pray excuse my _pet_;
I ne'er was _overturn'd_ before,
But now am quite _upset_.

These nominative cases are excepted from the above rule, meum, mine, tuum, thine, suum, his, noster, our, vester, your, humanum, human, belluinum brutal, and the like, as

Non est tuum aviam instruere:

Don't teach your grandmother-- to suck eggs.

Humanum est inebriari.

It is a human frailty-- or an amiable weakness-- to get drunk.

Lord Byron proves it to be a _human_ frailty.

"_Man_ being _reasonable_, _must_ get drunk."

Another poet (anon.) proves it to be an _amiable_ one, by establishing the analogy which exists between it and an intoxication of another kind--

"Love is like a dizziness,
Never lets a poor man go about his business."

Verbs of accusing, condemning, advising, acquitting, and the like, require a genitive case which signifies the charge; as

Qui alterum accusat probri, eum ipsum se intueri oportet.

It is fit that he who accuses another of dishonesty
should look into himself.

If this maxim were acted up to, what attorney could we ever get to frame an indictment?

Furti damnatus, "tres menses" adeptus est:

Being condemned of theft, he had "three months."

We do not see much _fun_ in that. We cannot help thinking, however, that "Three Months at Brixton," would form a taking (at least a _thief_-taking) title for a novel.

Admoneto magistrum squalidarum vestium:

Put the master in mind of his seedy clothes.

That is if you want a _good dressing_.

This genitive case is sometimes changed into an ablative, either with or without a preposition, as

Putavi de calendis Aprilibus te esse admonendum:

I thought that you ought to be reminded of the first of April.

Young reader! were you ever, on the above anniversary, sent to the cobbler's for pigeons' milk, and dismissed with _strap-oil_ for your _pains_? Were your domestic and alimentive affections ever sported with by the false intelligence that a letter from home and a large cake were waiting for you below! Or worse, did some waggish, but inconsiderate friend ever send you a fool's-cap and a hamper of stones?

Reader, of a more advanced age, were you ever?-- but we cannot go on-- Oh! Matilda-- we might have been your _slave_-- but it was cruel of you to _sell_ us in such a manner.

Uterque, both, nullus, none, alter, the other, neuter, neither of the two, alius, another, ambo, both, and the superlative degree, are joined to verbs of that kind only in the ablative case, as

Fratris, an asini, trucidationis accusas me? Utroque,
sed sceleris unius:

Do you accuse me of killing my brother or my donkey?
Of both; but of one crime.

Satago, to be busy about a thing, misereor and miseresco, to pity, require a genitive case, as

Qui ducit uxorem rerum satagit:

He who marries a wife has his hands full of business.

We hear frequently of lovers being _distracted_. Husbands are much more so.

O! tergi miserere mei non digna ferentis:

Oh! have pity on my back, suffering things undeserved.

Reminiscor, to remember, obliviscor, to forget, memini, to remember, recorder, to call to mind, admit a genitive or accusative case, as

Reminiscere nonarum Novembrium:

Remember the fifth of November.

No wonder that so many _squibs_ are let off on that day; considering the political feeling connected with it.

Hoc te spectantem me meminisse precor:

When this you see remember me.

How particularly anxious all young men and women who are lovers, and all waiters and chambermaids, whether they are lovers or no, besides coachmen and porters of all kinds, seem to be _remembered_. A coachman in one respect especially resembles a lover; he always wishes to be remembered by his _fare_.

Potior, to gain, is joined either to a genitive or to an ablative case, as

Xantippe, marito subacto, femoralium potita fuit.

Xantippe, her husband being overcome, gained the breeches.

Terentius Thrace potitus est:

Terence got a Tartar.

At least he said he did, when he took the prisoner who would n't let him come.

THE DATIVE CASE AFTER THE VERB.

All verbs govern a dative case of that thing to or for which any thing is gotten or taken away, as

Diminuam tibi caput:

I will break your head.

Eheu! mihi circulum ademit!

Oh dear, he has taken away my hoop!

What a thing it is to be a junior boy!

Verbs of various kinds belong to the above rule. In the first place verbs signifying advantage or disadvantage govern a dative case, as

Judæi ad commodandum nobis vivunt:

The Jews live to accommodate us.

Or accommodate us to live-- which?

Of these juvo, lædo, delecto, and some others, require an accusative case, as

Maritum quies plurimum juvat:

Rest very much delighteth a married man-- when he can get it.

Verbs of comparing govern a dative case, as

Ajacem "Surdo" componere sæpe solebam:

I was often accustomed to compare Ajax to the "Deaf un,"--
not because he was hard of hearing, but hard in hitting.

Sometimes, however, they require an ablative case with the preposition cum; sometimes an accusative case with the prepositions ad and inter, as

Comparo _Pompeium_ cum _globo nivali_:

I compare _Pompey_ with a _snow-ball_.

Pompey is called in the schools a proper name. Whether it is a _proper name_ for a nigger or not, may be questioned. It may also be doubted whether a negro can ever rightly be called "snow-ball," except he be _an ice_ man; in which case even though he should be the knave of _clubs_, it is obvious that he ought never to be _black balled_.

Si ad pensum verberatio comparetur nihil est:

If a flogging be compared to an imposition, it is nothing.

A flogging is a fly-blow, or at least a _flea_-blow to the boy, and a task only to the master; whereas an imposition is a task to the boy, and very often a _verse_ task.

Verbs of giving and of restoring govern a dative case, as

Learius unicuique filiarum dimidium coronæ dedit:

Lear gave his daughters half-a-crown a-piece.

Hence we are enabled to gain some notion of the great value of money in the time of the Ancient Britons.

Verbs of promising and of paying govern a dative case; as

Menelaus Paridi fustuarium promisit:

Menelaus promised Paris a drubbing.

"Gubernatoris" est pendere sartoribus pecuniam:

It is the place of "the governor" to pay tailors.

Hence young men may learn how desirable it is to be "in statu pupillari." True, in that state of felicity, they are somewhat under control, but the above example, and many others of a like nature, sufficiently prove, that such restriction, compared to the responsibilities of manhood, is but a _minor_ inconvenience.

Verbs of commanding and telling govern a dative case, as

Alexander, vinosus, animis imperare non potuit:

Alexander, when drunk, could not command his temper.

Thus, in a state of beer, he committed manslaughter at least, by killing and slaying his friend Clitus. We could not resist the temptation to mention this fact, since, as we have so often laughed at its narration in those interesting compositions called themes, we thought there must needs be something very funny about it. Alexander the Great, be it remarked, for the special behoof of schoolboys, furnishes an example of any virtue or vice descanted on in any prose task or poem under the sun.

Antonio dixit Augustus Lepidum veteratorem fuisse.

Augustus told Antony that Lepidus was a humbug.

We don't know exactly where this historical fact is mentioned. _Lepidus_ is a _funny_ name.

Except, from the foregoing rule, rego, to rule, guberno, to govern, which have an accusative case; tempero and moderor, to rule, which have sometimes a dative, sometimes an accusative case; as

Luna regit ministros:

The moon rules the ministers.

That is to say, when it is at the full, and resembles a great O.

Præco pauperes gubernat:

The beadle governs the paupers.

Non semper temperat ipse sibi:

He does not always govern himself.

Non animos mollit proprios, nec temperat iras:

He neither softens his own mind, nor tempers his anger.

Ecce, Ducrow moderatur equos:

Lo, Ducrow manages the horses.

_Q._ Why is a general officer like a writing-master?

_A._ Because he is a _ruler of lines_.

Verbs of trusting govern a dative case, as

Credite, f[oe]mineæ, juvenes, committere menti,
Nil nisi lene decet.

Believe me, young men, it is fit to entrust nothing to a female mind
but what is _soft_.

In fact, _soft nothings_ are fittest for the ear of a lady.

Pomarius poetæ non credit:

The costermonger trusts not the poet.

How wrong, therefore, it is to call him a _green_ grocer.

Verbs of complying with and of opposing govern a dative case, as

Nunquam obtemperat tiro hodiernus magistro:

A modern apprentice never obeys his master.

Verbs of threatening and of being angry govern a dative case, as

Utrique latronum mortem est minitatus:

He threatened death to both of the robbers,--

By presenting a pistol right and left at each of them. This when done by some well-disposed sailor in a melodrame, constitutes a situation of thrilling interest.

Sum with its compounds, except possum, governs a dative case, as

Oculi nigri non semper sunt faciei ornamentum:

Black eyes are not always an ornament to the face.

Verbs compounded with these adverbs, bene, well, satis, enough, male, ill, and with these prepositions, præ, ad, con, sub, ante, post, ob, in, inter, for the most part govern a dative case, as

Saginatio multis hominibus benefacit:

Cramming does good to many men.

For instance, it does good to aldermen, especially in these days of reform, _by enlarging the Corporation_. Cramming, or rather the effect of it, benefits medical men, who again do good to their patients by _cramming_ them in another way. There is also a species of cramming which is found very serviceable at the Universities, by enabling certain students to _pass in a crowd._

In this respect however it differs essentially from aldermanic cramming, which enhances the difficulty of such a feat in a very remarkable manner.

Puellæ, aliæ aliis prælucere student:

Girls endeavour to outshine one another.

And yet they _make light_, as much as they can, of each other's charms and accomplishments.

Intempestive parum longe prospicienti Doctori adlusit.

He joked unseasonably on the short-sighted Doctor.

Johnson was not so short-sighted as to be blind to a joke.

Not a few of the verbs mentioned in the last rule, sometimes change the dative into another case; as

Præstat ingenio alius alium:

One exceeds another in ability.

Thus one boy learns Latin and Greek better than the rest; another learns slang. One is a good hand at construing, another at climbing. Some boys are peculiarly skilled at casting accounts, others in casting stones. Here we have a boy of a small appetite and many words, there one of a large appetite and few words. Sometimes precocious talent is evinced for playing the fiddle, sometimes for playing a _stick_; sometimes, again, a strong propensity is discovered for playing the fool. This boy makes verses, as it were, by inspiration; that boy shows an equal capacity in making mouths. The most peculiar talent, however, and the one most exclusive of all others, is that of riding. Those who are destined to attain great proficiency in this science, can seldom do any thing else; and usually begin their career by being _horsed_ at school.

Est, for habeo to have, governs a dative case, as

Est mihi qui vestes custodit avunculus omnes:

I have an uncle who takes care of all my clothes.

Suppetit, it sufficeth, is like to this, as

Pauper enim non est cui rerum suppetit usus:

For he is not poor, to whom the use of things suffices.

The two last examples must suggest a rather alarming idea to those who are accustomed to propitiate the relation to whom we have just alluded, by relinquishing _their habits_. Is it possible that he can ever _use_ one's _things_? We recommend this query to the serious consideration of theatrical persons, and all others who are addicted to _spouting_.

_Sum_ with many _others_ admits a double dative case, as

Exitio est avidis alvus pueris:

The belly is the destruction of greedy boys.

Particularly those of _Eton_ College.

Sometimes this dative case tibi, or sibi, or also mihi, is added for the sake of elegance in expression, as

Cato suam sibi uxorem Hortensio vendidit:

Cato sold his own wife to Hortensius.

Some say he only lent her. The fact most probably is, that the lady, being tired of her husband, wished to be a-_loan_.

THE ACCUSATIVE CASE AFTER THE VERB.

Verbs transitive, of what kind soever, whether active, deponent, or common, require an accusative case, as

Procuratorem fugito, nam subdolus idem est:

Avoid an attorney, for the same is a cunning rogue.

Yet the legal profession are always boasting of their _deeds_.

Verbs neuter have an accusative case of a like signification to themselves, as

Pomarii asinus duram servit servitutem:

A coster-monger's donkey serves a hard servitude.

Poor animal! A _Sterne_ heart was once melted by thy sufferings-- how then must they affect that of the _gentle_ reader?

There are some verbs which have an accusative case by a figure, as

Nec vox hominem sonat;

Nor does your voice sound like a human creature's.

This may be said of boys of various kinds-- as pot-boys, butcher's boys, baker's boys, and other boys who are in the habit of bawling down areas; also of several descriptions of men, as cab-men, coach-men, watch-men, and dust-men. The same may likewise be asserted of some women, such as apple-women, oyster-women, fish-women, and match-women. Here also the singing of charity children of both sexes, and the voices of parish-clerks, may be specified, and, lastly, of many foreigners whose names terminate in ini.

Verbs of asking, of teaching, of clothing, and of concealing, commonly govern two accusative cases, as

Ego docebo te, adolescentule, lectiones tuas:

_I'll_ teach you your lessons, young man.

This speech is usually the prelude to something which elicits that exemplification of the vocative case which has been given in the first part of the Grammar.

Some verbs of this kind have an accusative case even in the passive voice, as

Bis denos posceris versus de scoparum manubrio:

You are required to make twenty verses on a broomstick.

Why should not a broomstick form the subject of a poetical effusion, when the material of the broom itself is so often used in schools to stimulate inventive genius?

Nouns appellative are commonly added with a preposition to verbs which denote motion, as

Interea ad templum non æquæ Palladis ibant
Crinibus Iliades passis. _Virgil._