Chapter X: Bobby Coon's Trick

Mr. Bunny Rabbit laughed so long and so hard as he thought of how he had outwitted Grandfather Fox that it really seemed necessary to pat him vigorously on the back lest he should strangle and then two or three minutes more were wasted as he coughed and choked.

When this last spasm was at an end he wiped his eyes with the tips of his ears, as he said in an apologetic tone:

"I really couldn't help it, you know. To think that Grandfather Fox had chased me three or four times a year since I was old enough to run by myself, and that at last I should lead him into a trap from which he couldn't get out!"

Again Bunny gave way to his mirth, and for a time it really seemed as if the story never would be ended; but he finally drew his face down soberly, wiped his eyes again, and said, as he continued to rock back and forth with his knees in his paws:

"When I heard the old fellow yelping the way he never did before, I knew there wasn't any chance of his getting out of the trap, else he wouldn't have made such a terrible row for fear of letting Mr. Man know where he was, so I came out where he could see me, and oh, how ugly he did look!

"'So this is the mean kind of trick you fixed up to play on a poor old fox who never did you any harm?' he said with a whine, trying to look as if he'd always been a friend of mine.

"'You never did me any harm, Grandfather, because you couldn't catch me; but if you'd got your teeth in my back after coming across the fence, I reckon there isn't any question but that I'd been introduced to the company your wife has at home,' I said, keeping my ears bent over my back so's to get the first warning of when Mr. Man or his boy Tommy came up, as I know they would after a little while.

"'I was only trying to fool you, Bunny,' and the old fellow did his best to grin friendly-like. 'Can't you take a bit of a joke from one who has known you almost ever since you were born? I knew your father before you, and a right respectable rabbit he was.'

"'I suppose that was why you ate him!' I cried, suddenly remembering that it was this same old wretch who had eaten daddy. 'Most likely you tried to make out that he was a particular friend of yours, and that's why you did it.'

"'Was it your father I ate?' asked Grandfather Fox as if in surprise. 'Really you make me feel badly, Bunny, for I wouldn't hurt a single hair on the head of anybody belonging to you, and you ought to know that much by this time.'

"He didn't fool me a little bit, for I knew mighty well he would snap my nose off that very minute if I should be so foolish as to give him the chance.

"'Why don't you try to tell the truth for once in your life?' I asked, and before he could answer I heard somebody coming through the bushes, making as much noise as an elephant--that is, I reckon an elephant would raise just about such a racket, though I never saw one, but Mr. Crow told me all about 'em. He says he's seen more'n a million in his day, and I wouldn't wonder if that was the truth.

"It don't make any difference how much noise was being made; it was time for me to show Grandfather Fox my heels--that I knew without being told more than once, so off I went, moving mighty softly, for I didn't count on letting Mr. Man get his hands on me till after I'd had the pleasure of seeing that old fox's skin nailed on the side of the barn, and even then it's safe to say I'd keep my weather eye lifting pretty lively for danger, on account of Sonny Bunny if nothing more.

"After getting so far away that it didn't seem as if there could be any danger, I hid snug in a bush and waited. It wasn't many minutes before I heard the noise of a gun, and then I said that the end of Grandfather Fox was come; but I couldn't seem to make up my mind to go home and tell Mrs. Bunny the good news till I'd seen his skin on the barn, and we knew there wasn't the least bit of a chance he could come to life, so off I went limperty, limperty, limp, not going so fast but that I'd be sure to hear if any of the farm people were nosing about, when whom should I come plump up against but the president himself, hiding among the leaves as if he'd joined the Fur section of the club.

"'What in the name of goodness are you doing down here on the ground, Mr. Crow?' I asked, and you'd better believe I was surprised.

"'Didn't you ever hear of a bird's scratching around for something to eat, Mr. Rabbit?' he asked, cocking one eye up at me in the queerest kind of way.

"'But you were regularly hiding, Mr. Crow!' I cried, and do you know, that mixed him up so much that if there hadn't been feathers on his head I really believe you could have seen that he was blushing.

"'Well, to tell the truth, I was watching Mr. Man,' he said after a while, and that made me more surprised than ever, so I asked:

"'Why mightn't you do that better in a tree, sir? If I could fly as you can, and wanted to see what was going on, you can wager all the doughnuts Mrs. Man ever fried that I'd be up high in the air, where it would be possible to see what was going on without stretching my neck out of shape.'

"'As a rule I should do the same thing, Mr. Bunny; but, although I'm really ashamed to admit it, this is one of the days when I'm afraid of Mr. Man's gun. Now I wouldn't have you tell that to any living creature; but somehow, the sight of his gun sent the cold chills down every feather on my body. He's out for business this afternoon, and when I came across him he was carrying Bobby Coon by the tail, which shows he's ready to kill anything and everything that comes his way.'

"'Poor Mr. Coon!' I cried, and I felt mighty sorry, for Bobby and I had always been good friends, though I must admit that he has some habits of which I don't approve. 'Do you know how he happened to play in such hard luck, Mr. Crow?'

"'I didn't see the murder done; it was all finished when I flew just over Mr. Man's head, not knowing he was so near, because at the time my mind was roaming across the seas where I've spent so many happy days! He fired at me quicker than you could wag your ear, and I heard the shot whistling about my head until I got real nervous. Do you happen to know what he was up to a few minutes ago?'

"Then I told the president all that had happened from the time Grandfather Fox met me and he said, when I had finished the story:

"'I've always claimed, Bunny, that you're not as big a fool as you look, and you can prove it by going straight home instead of hanging around here, where you're in danger, simply for the satisfaction of seeing Mr. Fox's skin nailed up on the barn. Besides, it'll take Mr. Man a good hour to do the job as it should be done.'

"'Why don't you take your own advice, Mr. Crow?' I asked, and he replied with a flirt of his tail:

"'That's just what I'm about to do, Mr. Bunny. I only stopped here to see what Mr. Man was going to do with poor Bobby Coon, but there's no more sense in my doing that than there is for you to wait for the funeral of Grandfather Fox. I'm right glad he's dead, even though he never killed any of my relatives; but if I had a young family where a fox could get at them I shouldn't feel easy in mind a single minute when he was around, although I've heard said that the crows are not what you might call real good eating.'

"Then Mr. Crow stepped out into the open, where he could have a fair chance to raise his wings and off he sailed without a single 'caw,' which shows how nervous he really was.

"Well, I began to turn about, smelling the safest way home, for what Mr. Crow had said gave me the idea that perhaps I was foolish to spend my time so near the farm, especially when I could come before anybody was stirring next morning to see Grandfather Fox's skin, and just at the very minute I had hunched myself to jump who should come ambling along but Bobby Coon.

"You can't think what a start it gave me to see him after the president of our club had said he was dead! If he hadn't called in a way that would have been very unnatural for a dead coon it isn't certain I'd stayed to meet him. I was afraid it was nothing but his ghost I saw.

"'What is scaring you, Bunny? Don't you know me?'

"'Mr. Crow just told me you were dead; that he had seen Mr. Man carrying you home by the tail,' I said as soon as I could gather my wits and much to my surprise Bobby said, as if it was something that happened to him regularly:

"'That's just what Mr. Man was doing, Bunny, and I reckon he thought I was dead, all right. I'll tell you how it happened: I was asleep on a big branch that happened to grow near the ground, never dreaming there could be any danger, because I was in the very middle of the big woods, when Mr. Man came along and at the very moment I awakened he hit me a clip with the end of his gun. I had sense enough to understand that there wasn't any chance to get away then, and instead of trying to run I fell plump on the ground, lying there as if the breath had been entirely knocked out of my body, which came near being the truth on account of the fall--the clip he gave me wouldn't have killed a flea. Well, for all Mr. Man is so big he's considerable of a fool and without stopping to see if I were really dead he picked me up by the tail, walking off as if he had done something very brave.'

"Bobby stopped talking then, as if he had told the whole of his story, but I asked:

"'Did you wiggle out of his hands?'

"'There was no chance to do anything like that, Bunny, for he had wound my tail around two of his fingers till I thought certain he'd pull it out by the roots; but I had to bear the pain without grinning, and I hung wabbly-like, as a dead coon would, till we came to where Grandfather Fox was caught in a trap and then Mr. Man let out a yell as if he had just found a long-lost brother. Coons didn't amount to very much just then, when there was a fox skin to be taken that would bring in ten dollars or more, and down I was dropped so that Mr. Man could gather in the fur. I waited till I saw he had got well started at the work, and then off I sneaked. If it hadn't been for falling out of the tree, and having my tail twisted in such an ungentlemanly manner, I'd be as good as new. The wood folk can talk about never catching a weasel asleep; but I tell you it's a pretty cold day when any of the people from the farm can get the best of Brother Coon, unless they shoot him down before he's had a chance to show them some of his tricks.'

"Then Bobby chuckled and grinned as if he had done something wonderfully smart, and I'm not saying that he didn't; but I wanted him to know that if it hadn't been for my chucking Grandfather Fox into the trap he might not have come off so easy, and began to tell the story, beginning at the very first so's he'd know that some folks in the big woods were just as smart as the Coon family.

"I hadn't got into the thrilling part of it when suddenly I heard the sound of somebody's coming through the bushes, and before I could open my mouth to yell, who should show himself but that miserable dog Towser! Frightened! I was so scared that for five seconds I never raised a paw, and then, just as Bobby was ambling away at the best speed he could make, I came to myself.

"Oh me! oh my! how I did run! Instead of following Bobby, as I hoped Towser would, although I never had any grudge against a coon, what should that beast of a dog do but take after me, and I was so mixed up that I didn't know which way to turn; but kept my nose pointed in the same direction it was when I started."

Bunny ceased speaking very suddenly, sitting there motionless, gazing at the ferns which were being swayed to and fro by the gentle breeze, and it seemed best to wait until he was in the mood to continue, for it was only natural that his thoughts should be unpleasant as he contemplated the treachery of Towser in thus taking by surprise himself and Bobby Coon.