Chapter XIV: Part 14

Agib no sooner touched the piece of cream-tart that had been set before him, than he pretended that he did not like it, and left it uncut. Schaban[Footnote: The Mahometans give this name generally to their black eunuchs.] (for such was the eunuch's name) did the same. The widow of Noureddin Ali observed, with regret, that her grandson did not like the tart. What! said she, does my child thus despise the work of my hands? Be it known to you, that not one in the world can make such cream-tarts, except myself and your father Bedreddin, whom I myself taught. My good mother, replied Agib, give me leave to tell you, that if you do not know how to make them better, there is a pastry-cook in this town who exceeds you. We were but just now at his shop, and ate of one that was much better than yours. The grandmother, frowning on the eunuch, said, How now, Schaban? was the care of my grandchild committed to you to carry him to eat at pastry-shops like a beggar? Madam, replied the eunuch, it is true we did stop a little while, and talked with the pastry-cook, but we did not eat with him. Pardon me, said Agib; we went into his shop, and there ate a cream-tart. Upon this, the lady, more incensed against the eunuch than before, rose in a passion from the table, and running to the tent of Schemseddin, informed him of the eunuch's crime, and that in such terms as tended more to inflame the vizier than to dispose him to excuse it. Schemseddin, who was naturally passionate, did not fail on this occasion to display his anger. He went forthwith to his sister-in-law's tent; and, making up to the eunuch, What! said he, you pitiful wretch, have you the impudence to abuse the trust I repose in you? Schaban, though sufficiently convicted by Agib's testimony, still denied the fact. But the child persisted in what he had already affirmed: Grandfather, said he, I can assure you that we did not only eat, but that both of us so much satisfied our appetites, that we have no occasion for supper; besides, the pastry-cook treated us with a large bowl of sherbet. Well, cried Schemseddin, turning to Schaban, after all this, will you continue to deny that you entered the pastry-cook's house, and ate there? Schaban had still the impudence to swear that it was not true. Then you are a liar! said the vizier; I will believe my grandchild rather than you; but, after all, if you can eat up this cream-tart on the table, I shall be persuaded that you have truth on your side.

Though Schaban had crammed himself immoderately before, yet he agreed to stand the test, and accordingly took a piece of the tart; but his stomach rising against it, he was obliged to spit it out of his mouth: he still, however, pursued the lie, pretending he had over-eaten himself the day before, so that his stomach was cloyed. The vizier, irritated by the eunuch's frivolous pretences, and convinced of his guilt, ordered him to lie flat upon the ground, and to be soundly bastinadoed. In undergoing this punishment, the poor wretch shrieked out prodigiously, and at last confessed the truth: I own, cried he, that we did eat a cream-tart at the pastry-cook's, and that it was much better than that upon the table. The widow of Noureddin thought it was out of spite to her, and with a design to mortify her, that Schaban commended the pastry-cook's tart; and accordingly said, I cannot believe the cook's tarts are better than mine, and am resolved to satisfy myself upon that head. Where does he live? Go immediately, and buy me one of his tarts. The eunuch having received of her the money necessary for the purchase, repaired to Bedreddin's shop, and, addressing him, Good Mr. Pastry-cook, said he, take this money, and let me have one of your cream-tarts; one of our ladies wants to taste them. Bedreddin chose one of the best, and gave it to the eunuch. Take this, said he, I will engage it is an excellent one, and can assure you that nobody is able to make the like unless it be my mother, who perhaps still lives. Schaban returned speedily to the tents, and gave the tart to Noureddin's widow, who snatched it eagerly, and broke off a piece; but had no sooner put it to her mouth, than she screamed and swooned away, Schemseddin, being present, was extremely surprised at the accident, threw water upon her face himself, and was very active in succouring her. As soon as she recovered, My God! cried she, it must certainly be my son, my dear Bedreddin, who made this tart!

When the vizier Schemseddin heard his sister-in-law say that the maker of the tart brought by the eunuch must without doubt be Bedreddin, he was overjoyed; but reflecting that his joy might prove groundless, and in all likelihood the conjecture of Noureddin's widow be false, Madam, said he, why are you of that mind? Do you think there may not be a pastry-cook in the world who knows how to make cream-tarts as well as your son? I own, replied she, there may be pastry-cooks who can make as good tarts; but as I make them after a peculiar manner, and nobody but my son is let into the secret, it must absolutely be he who made this. Come, my brother, added she in transport, let us call up mirth and joy; we have at last found what we have been so long looking for! Madam, said the vizier, I entreat you to moderate your impatience, for we shall quickly know the truth. All we have to do, is to bring the pastry-cook hither, and then you and my daughter will readily distinguish whether it is Bedreddin or not; but you must both be hidden, so as to have a view of him without his seeing you; for my design is to delay the discovery till we return to Cairo, where I propose to regale you with very agreeable diversion. He then left the ladies in their tent, and retired to his own, where he called for fifty of his men, and said to them, Take each of you a stick in your hands, and follow Schaban, who will conduct you to a pastry-cook's in the city. When you arrive there, break and dash in pieces all you find in the shop; if he asks you why you commit such disorder, only ask him again if it was not he who made the cream-tart that was brought from his house. If he owns himself the man, seine his person, fetter him, and bring him along with you; but take care you do not beat him, nor do him the least harm. Go, and lose no time.

The vizier's orders were immediately executed. The detachment, conducted by the black eunuch, went with expedition to Bedreddin's house, and broke in pieces the plates, kettles, copper-pans, tables, and all the other moveables and utensils they met with, and drowned the sherbet-shop with creams and comfits. Bedreddin, astonished at the sight, said, with a pitiful tone, Pray, good people, why do you serve me so? What is the matter? What have I done? Was it not you, said they, who sold this eunuch the cream-tart? Yes, replied he, I am the man, and who says any thing against it? I defy any one to make a better. Instead of giving him an answer, they continued to break all round them; even the oven was not spared. The neighbours in the mean time took the alarm; and, surprised to see fifty armed men commit such a disorder, asked the reason of such violence. Bedreddin said once more to the actors of it. Pray, tell me what crime I am guilty of, to have deserved this usage? Was it not you, replied they, who made the cream-tart you sold to the eunuch? Yes, it was I, replied he; I maintain it is a good one, and I do not deserve the usage you give me. However, without listening to him, they seized his person, and snatching the cloth off his turban, tied his hands with it behind his back; then dragging him by force out of his shop, they marched off with him. The mob gathering, and taking compassion on Bedreddin, took his part, and offered opposition to Schemseddin's men; but that very minute up came some officers from the governor of the city, who dispersed the people, and favoured the carrying off of Bedreddin; for Schemseddin had in the mean time gone to the governor's house to acquaint him with the order he had given, and to demand the interposition of force to favour the execution. The governor, who commanded all Syria in the name of the sultan of Egypt, was loath to refuse any thing to his master's vizier; so that Bedreddin was carried off, notwithstanding his cries and tears. It was needless for him to ask, by the way, those who forced him off, what fault had been found with his cream-tart, as they gave him no answer. In short, they carried him to the tents, and detained him till Schemseddin returned from the governor of Damascus's house.

Upon the vizier's return, Bedreddin Hassan was brought before him: My lord, said Bedreddin, with tears in his eyes, pray do me the favour to let me know wherein I have displeased you. Why, you wretch! said the vizier, was it not you who made the cream-tart you sent me? I own I am the man, replied Bedreddin; but pray what crime is that? I will punish you according to your deserts, said Schemseddin: it shall cost you your life for sending me such a sorry tart. Good God, cried Bedreddin, what news is this? Is it a capital crime to make a bad creamtart? Yes, said the vizier, and you are to expect no mercy from me. While this interview lasted, the ladies, who were hid, observed Bedreddin narrowly, and readily knew him, though he had been so long absent. They were so transported with joy, that they swooned away, and, when they recovered, would fain have run and fallen upon Bedreddin's neck; but the promise they had made to the vizier, not to discover themselves, restrained the tender emotions of love and nature.

Schemseddin, having resolved to set out that very night, ordered the tents to be struck, and the necessary preparations to be made for his journey. As for Bedreddin, he ordered him to be put into a chest or box well locked, and laid on a camel. When every thing was got ready, the vizier and his retinue began their march, and travelled all that night and the next day without stopping. In the evening they halted, when Bedreddin was taken out of his cage in order to be served with necessary refreshments, but still carefully kept at a distance from his mother and wife; and, during the whole expedition, which lasted twenty days, he was served in the same manner. When they arrived at Cairo, and had encamped in the neighbourhood of that place, Schemaeddin called for Bedreddin, gave orders in his presence to a carpenter to get some wood with all expedition, and make a stake. Heyday! said Bedreddin, what do you mean to do with a stake? Why, to nail you to it, replies Schemseddin; then to have you carried through all the quarters of the town, that the people may have the spectacle of a worthless pastry-cook who makes cream-tarts without pepper! Bedreddin cried out so comically, that Schemseddin could hardly keep his countenance: Good God, cried he, must I suffer a death, as cruel as ignominious, for not putting pepper in a cream-tart? Must I be rifled, and have all the godds in my house broken in pieces, imprisoned in a chest, and at last nailed to a stake? and all for not putting pepper in a cream-tart! Good God! who ever heard of such a thing? Are these the actions of Mussulmen, of persons who make professions of probity and justice, and practise all manner of good works? With these words he shed tears; and then renewing his complaint, No, continued he, never was man used so unjustly, nor so severely. Is it possible they should be capable of taking a man's life for not putting pepper in a cream-tart? Cursed be all cream-tarts, as well as the hour in which I was born! Would to God I had died that minute!

The disconsolate Bedreddin did not cease to pour forth his lamentations; and when the stake was brought, and the nails to nail him to it, he cried out bitterly at the horrid sight. Heaven! said he, canst thou suffer me to die an ignominious and painful death? And for what crime? Not for robbery or murder, or renouncing my religion, but for not putting pepper in a cream- tart!

Night being pretty far advanced, the vizier ordered Bedreddin to be put up again in his cage, saying to him, Stay here till to-morrow; the day shall not be spent before I give orders for your death. The chest or cage was then carried away, and laid upon the camel that had brought it from Damascus; at the same time all the other camels were loaded again, and the vizier, mounting his horse, ordered the camel that carried his nephew to march before him, thus entering the city, with all his equipage following. After passing through several streets, where nobody appeared, every one being in bed, he arrived at his house, where he ordered the chest to be taken down, but not to be opened till further orders. While his retinue were unloading the other camels, the vizier took Bedreddin's mother and his daughter aside; and, addressing himself to the latter, said, God be praised, my child, for this happy occasion of meeting your cousin and your husband. You surely remember in what order your chamber was on your wedding night; put every thing in the very same situation; and, in the mean time, if your memory do not serve you, I can supply you by a written account which I caused to be taken upon that occasion; and leave the rest to me.

The beautiful lady went joyfully about the orders of her father, who at the same time began to put things in the hall in the same order they were in when Bedreddin was there with the sultan of Egypt's hunch-backed groom. As he went over his manuscript, his domestics placed every moveable accordingly. The throne was not forgotten, nor the lighted wax-candles. When every thing was put to rights in the hall, the vizier went into his daughter's chamber, and put Bedreddin's clothes, with the purse of sequins, in their proper place. This done, he said to the beautiful lady, Undress yourself, my child, and go to bed. As soon as Bedreddin enters the room, complain of his being from you so long, and tell him, that when you awaked, you were astonished you did not find him by you. Press him to come to bed again; and to-morrow morning you will divert your mother-in-law and me by telling us what has passed between you and him. The vizier went from his daughter's apartment, and left her to undress and go to bed.

Schemseddin ordered all his domestics to leave the hall, except two or three, whom he ordered to remain. These he commanded to go and take Bedreddin out of the chest, to strip him to his shirt and drawers, conduct him in that condition to the hall, leave him there all alone, and shut the door upon him. Bedreddin, though overwhelmed with grief, had been asleep all the while; insomuch that the vizier's domestics had taken him put of the chest, and stripped him, before he awaked, and carried him so suddenly into the hall, that they did not give him time to bethink himself where he was. When he found himself alone in the hall, he looked round, and the objects of his sight recalling to his memory the circumstances of his marriage, he perceived with astonishment that it was the same hall where he had seen the sultan's groom of the stables. His surprise was still greater, when, approaching softly to the door of a chamber which he found open, he espied his clothes in the very place where he remembered to have left them on his wedding-night. My God! said he, rubbing his eyes, am I asleep or awake?

His wife, who in the mean time was diverting herself with his astonishment, suddenly opened the curtains of her bed; and, bending her head forward, My dear lord, said she, with a tender air, what do you there? Pr'ythee come to bed again; you have been out of it a long time. I was strangely surprised, when I awaked, at not finding you by me. Bedreddin's countenance changed when he perceived that the lady who spoke to him was the charming person he had lain with before; he therefore entered the room; but, calling to mind all that had passed for an interval of ten years, and not being able to persuade himself that it could have happened in one night, he went to the place where his clothes and the purse of sequins lay, and, after examining them very carefully, By Heaven, cried he, these are things that I can by no means comprehend! The lady, who enjoyed his confusion, said, Once more, I pray you, my lord, come to bed again; why do you stand? He then stepped towards the bed, and said to her, Pray, madam, tell me, is it long since I left you? The question, answered she, surprises me. Did you not rise from me but now? Your thoughts are surely very busy. Madam, replied Bedreddin, I do assure you that my thoughts are not very easy. I remember, indeed, to have been with you; but I remember, at the same time, that I have since lived ten years at Damascus. Now, if I was actually in bed with you this night, I cannot have been from you so long; these two things are inconsistent. Pray tell me what to think; whether my marriage with you be an illusion, or whether my absence from you be only a dream, Yes, my lord, cried she; doubtless you were light-headed when you thought you were at Damascus. Upon this Bedreddin laughed heartily, and said, What a comical fancy is this! I assure you, madam, this dream of mine will be very pleasant to you. Do but imagine, if you please, that I was at the gate of Damascus in my shirt and drawers, as I am here now; that I entered the town with the halloo of a mob who followed and insulted me; that I fled into a pastry-cook's, who adopted me, taught me his trade, and left me all he had when he died; and that after his death I kept a shop. In fine, madam, I had a great number of other adventures too tedious to recount; and all I can say is, that it was not amiss that I awaked, for they were going to nail me to a stake. Oh, Lord, and for what (cried the lady, feigning astonishment) would they have used you so cruelly? You must certainly have committed some enormous crime. Not in the least, replied Bedreddin; it was nothing in the world but a mere trifle, the most ridiculous thing you can think of. All the crime I was charged with, was selling a cream-tart that had no pepper in it. As for that matter, said the beautiful lady, laughing heartily, I must say they did you great injustice. Ah, madam, replied he, that was not all; for this cursed cream-tart was every thing in my shop broken to pieces, and myself bound, fettered, and flung into a chest, where I lay so close, that methinks I am there still. In fine, a carpenter was sent for, and he was ordered to get ready a stake for me; but, thanks be to God, all these things are no more than a dream.

Bedreddin was not easy all night; he awaked from time to time, and put the question to himself, whether he dreamed or was awake. He distrusted his felicity; and to ascertain whether it was real or not, opened the curtains, and looked round the room. I am not mistaken, said he; this is the same chamber which I entered, instead of the hunch-backed groom of the stables, and am now in bed with the fair lady who was designed for him. Day-light, which then appeared, had not yet dispelled his uneasiness, when the vizier Schemseddin, his uncle, knocked at the door, and went to bid him good-morrow.

Bedreddin was extremely surprised to see, on a sudden, a man whom he knew so well, and who now appeared with a quite different air from that with which he pronounced the terrible sentence of death against him. Ah! cried Bedreddin, it was you who condemned me so unjustly to a manner of death the thoughts of which make me shrink still; and all for a cream-tart without pepper. The vizier laughed heartily; but, to put him out of suspense, told him how, by the ministry of a genius, (for Bossu's relation had made him suspect the adventure) he had been at his house, and had married his daughter instead of the sultan's groom of the stables; he then acquainted him that he had discovered him to be his nephew by a book written by the hand of Noureddin Ali, and, pursuant to that discovery, had gone from Cairo to Balsora in quest of him. My dear nephew, added he, with embraces and all the marks of tenderness, I ask your pardon for all I have made you undergo since I discovered you: I had a mind to bring you to my house before I told you your happiness, which ought now to be so much the dearer to you as it has cost you so much perplexity. To atone for all your afflictions, comfort yourself with the joy of being in the company of those who ought to be dearest to you. While you are dressing yourself, I shall acquaint your mother, who is beyond measure impatient to see you; and will likewise bring to you your son, whom you saw at Damascus, and for whom you showed so much affection without knowing him. No words are sufficient to express the joy of Bedreddin when he saw his mother and his son. These three embraced, and showed all the transports which love and tenderness can inspire. The mother spoke to Bedreddin in the most moving terms; she mentioned the grief she had felt for his long absence, and the tears she had shed. Little Agib, instead of flying his father's embraces as at Damascus, received them with ail the marks of pleasure; while his father, divided between two objects so worthy of his love, thought he could not give sufficient proofs of his affection.

In the mean time Schemseddin went to the palace to give an account of the happy success of his travels to the sultan, who was so charmed with the recital, that he ordered it to be taken down in writing, and to be preserved among the archives of his kingdom. After Schemseddin's return to his house, having prepared a noble feast, he sat down at the table with his family, and all his household passed the day in social conviviality.

The vizier Giafar having made an end of the story of Bedreddin Hassan, told the Caliph Haroun Alraschid, that this was what he had to relate to his majesty. The caliph found the story so surprising, that, without further hesitation, he granted his slave Rihan's pardon, and to condole the young man for the grief of having unhappily deprived himself of a woman whom he loved so tenderly, he married him to one of his slaves, bestowed liberal gifts upon him, and entertained him until he died.

But, sir, said Scheherazade, observing that day began to appear, though the story I have how told you be agreeable, I have one that is even much more so. If your majesty will please to hear it the next night, I am certain you will be of the same mind. Schahriar rose without giving any answer, and was in a quandary what to do. The good sultaness, said he within himself, tells very long stories; and when once she begins one, there is no refusing to hear it out. I cannot tell whether I shall put her to death to-day or not. No, surely not, I will do nothing rashly: the story she promises is perhaps more diverting than those she has yet told, and I will not deprive myself of the pleasure of hearing it. Dinarzade did not fail to awake the sultaness of the Indies, who thus commenced her story.

THE STORY OF THE LITTLE HUNCH-BACK.

There was in former times at Casgar, upon the utmost borders of Tartary, a tailor who had a pretty wife, whom he ardently loved, and by whom he was loved in return. One day, as he sat at work, a little hunch-back my lord came and sat down at the shop-door, began singing, at same time playing upon a tabor. The tailor was pleased to hear him, and had a strong mind to take him to his house to make his wife merry: This little fellow, said he to his wife, will divert us both very agreeably. In fine, he invited my lord, who readily accepted of the invitation; the tailor then shut up his shop, and conducted him in. The little gentleman being arrived at the tailor's house, his wife covered the table, and they sat down to sup on a good large dish of fish; but as they ate heartily, the little crooked gentleman unluckily swallowed a large bone, of which he died in a few minutes, notwithstanding all the tailor and his wife could do to prevent it. Both were mightily frightened at the accident, especially as it happened in their house; and there was reason to fear, that if the justiciary magistrates should hear of it, they would be punished as assassins. The husband, however, found an expedient to get rid of the corpse: recollecting that there was a Jewish doctor who lived just by, he formed a project, to execute which, his wife and he took the corpse, the one by the feet and the other by the head, and carried it to the physician's house. They knocked at the door, from which ascended a steep pair of stairs to his chamber. As soon as they bad knocked, the servant-maid came down without any light; and, opening the door, asked what they wanted. Pr'ythee, go up again, said the tailor, and tell your master we have brought him a man that is very sick, and wants his advice. Here, putting a piece of money into her hand, give him that beforehand, to convince him that we have no mind to make him lose his labour. While the servant was gone up to acquaint her master with the welcome news, the tailor and his wife nimbly conveyed the hunch-backed corpse to the head of the stairs; and, leaving it there, ran off.

In the mean time, the maid, having told the doctor that a man and a woman staid for him at the door, desiring he would come down and look upon a sick man they had brought with them, and the maid clapping the money she had received into his hand, the doctor was transported with joy; being paid beforehand, he thought it was a good job, and should not be neglected. Light, light! cried he to the maid; follow me nimbly. However, without staying for the light, he got to the stair-head in such haste, that stumbling against the corps, he gave it such a kick, as made it tumble down quiite to the stair-foot, and with difficulty saved himself. A light, a light! cried he to the maid, quick, quick! at last the maid came with a light, and he went down stairs with her; but when he gav that the stumbling-block he had kicked down was a dead man, he was so frightened, that he invoked Moses, Aaron, Joshua, and Esdras, and all the other prophets of his law. Unhappy man that I am! said he, what induced me to come down without a light? I have e'en made an end of the fellow who was brought to me to be cured? I am undoubtedly the cause of his death, and unless, Esras's ass[Footnote: Here the Arabian author ridicules the Jews: this ass is that which, as the Mahometans believe, Esdras rode upon when he came from the Babylonian captivity to Jerusalem.] comes to assist me, I nm ruined: mercy on me, they will be here instantly, and drag me from my house as a murderer! But, notwithstanding the perplexity and jeopardy he was in, he had the precaution to shut his door, lest any one passing by in the street should observe the mischance, of which he reckoned himself the author. He then took the corpse into his wife's chamber, upon which she swooned away. Alas! cried she, we are utterly ruined! undone! undone! unless we fall upon some expedient or other to turn the corpse out of our house this night! Beyond all question, if we harbour it till morning, our lives must pay for it. What a sad mischance is this! Why, how did you kill this man? That is not the question, replied the Jew; our business now is to find out a remedy for such a shocking accident. They then consulted together how to get rid of the corpse that night. The doctor racked his brain in vain; he could not think of any stratagem to get clear: but his wife, who was more fertile in invention, said, there is a thought come into my head; let us carry.the corpse to the leads of our house, and tumble it down the chimney into the house of the Mussulman, our next neighbour. This Mussulman, or Turk, was one of the sultan's purveyors for furnishing oil, butter, and all sorts of fat, tallow, &c. and had a magazine in his house, in which the rats and mice made prodigious havoe.

The Jewish doctor approving the proposed expedient, his wife and he took the little hunch-back up to the roof of the house; and, clapping ropes under his arm-pits, let him down the chimney into the purveyor's chamber so softly and dexterously, that he stood upright against the wall as if he had been alive. When they found he stood firm, they pulled up the ropes, and left the gentleman in that posture. They were scarcely got into their chamber, when the purveyor went into his, being just come from a wedding feast, with a lantern in his hand. He was mightily surprised, when, by the light of his lantern, he descried a man standing upright in his chimney; but being a stout man, and apprehending it was a thief or a robber, he took up a large cane; and, making straight up to the hunch-back, Ah, said he, I thought it was the rats and the mice that ate my butter and tallow! and it is you that come down the chimney to rob me, is it? I question if ever you come back again on the same errand? This said, he fell foul of the man, and gave him a good many swinging thwacks with his cane: upon which the corpse fell down, running its nose against the ground, and the purveyor redoubled his blows: but, observing that the body did not move, he stood to consider a little; when, perceiving it was a corpse, fear succeeded his anger. Wretched man that I am! said he; what have I done? I have killed a man! alas, I have carried my revenge too far! good God, unless thou pityest me, my life is gone! Cursed, ten thousand times accursed, be the fat and the oil that gave occasion to the commission of so criminal an action. In fine, he stood pale and thunder-struck; he thought he saw the officers already come to drag him to condign punishment, and could not think what resolution to take.

The sultan of Casgar's purveyor did not observe the little gentleman's hunch when he was beating him, but as soon as he did, he threw out a thousand imprecations against him. Ah, you crooked hunch-back! cried he; would to God you had robbed me of all my fat, and I had not found you here! had it been so, I would not have been now so much perplexed for the sake of you and your nasty hunch. Oh! the stars that twinkle in the heavens give light to none but me in this dangerous Juncture! As soon as he had uttered these words, he took the little crooked corpse upon his shoulders, and carried it out of doors to the end of the street, where he set it upright against a shop, and then trudged home again without looking behind him.

A few minutes before the break of day, a Christian merchant, who was very rich, and furnished the sultan's palace with most things it wanted; this merchant, having sat up all night debauching, stepped out of his house to go to bathe. Though he was drunk, he was sensible that the night was far spent, and that the people would quickly be called to the morning prayers, which begin at break of day; he therefore quickened his pace to get in time to the bath, lest a Turk, meeting him in his way to the mosque, should carry him to prison for a drunkard. When he came to the end of the street, he stopped on some necessary occasion, and leaned against the shop where the sultan's purveyor had put the hunch-backed corpse; but the corpse being jostled, tumbled upon the merchant's back. The merchant thinking it was a robber that came to attack him, knocked him down with a hearty box on the ear, and, after redoubling his blows, cried out, Thieves! The outcry alarmed the watch, who came up immediately; and finding a Christian beating a Turk, (for crump-back was of our religion), What reason have you, said he, to abuse a Mussulman after this rate? He would have robbed me, replied the merchant, and jumped upon my back with intent to take me by the throat. If he did, said the watch, you have revenged yourself sufficiently; come, get off him. At the same time he stretched out his hand to help little crump-back up: but observing that he was dead, Ah! hey-day! said he, is it thus that a Christian dares to assassinate a Mussulman? So he laid hold of the Christian, and carried him to the sheriff's house, where he was kept till the judge was up, and ready to examine him. In the mean time, the Christian merchant grew sober, and the more he reflected upon his adventure, the less could he conceive how such single fisty-cuffs could kill the man. The judge having heard the report of the watch, and viewed the corpse, which they had taken care to bring to his house, interrogated the Christian merchant, who could not deny the crime, though he had not committed it. But the judge considering that little crump-back belonged to the sultan, (for he was one of his buffoons) would not put the Christian to death till he knew the sultan's pleasure. For this end he went to the palace, and acquainted the sultan with what had happened, and received from him this answer, I have no mercy to show to a Christian, who kills a Mussulman; go do your office. Upon this the judge ordered a gibbet to be erected, and sent criers all over the city to proclaim that they were about to hang a Christian for killing a Mussulman.

In fine, the merchant was brought out of gaol to the foot of the gallows; and the hangman, having put the rope about his neck, was going to throw him off, when the sultan's purveyor pushed through die crowd, made up to the gibbet, calling to the hangman to stop, for that the Christian had not committed the murder, but himself. The sheriff who attended the execution immediately put interrogatories to the purveyor, who told him every circumstance of his killing the little crump-back, and conveying his corpse to the place where the merchant found him. You were about, added he, to put to death an innocent person; for how can he be guilty of the death of a man who was dead before he saw him? My burden is sufficient in having killed a Turk, without loading my conscience with the additional charge of the death of a Christian who is not guilty.

The sultan of Casgar's purveyor having publicly charged himself with the death of the little hunch-backed man, the sheriff could not avoid doing justice to the merchant. Let the Christian go, said he, and hang this man in his room, since it appears by his own confession that he is guilty. Whereupon the hangman released the merchant, and clapped the rope round the purveyor's neck; but just as he was going to pull him up, he heard the voice of the Jewish doctor, earnestly entreating him to suspend the execution, and make room for him to throw himself at the foot of the gallows. When he appeared before the judge, My lord, said he, this Mussulman you are going to hang is not guilty: the crime rests with me. Last night a man and a woman, unknown to me, came to my house with a sick man they had brought along with them; and knocking at my door, my maid went and opened it without a light, and received from them a piece of money, with a commission to come and desire me, in their names, to step down and look upon the sick person. While she was delivering her message to me, they conveyed the sick person to the stair-head, and then disappeared. I went down, without staying for my servant to light a candle, and in the dark happened to stumble upon the sick person, and kicked him down stairs. In fine, I saw he was dead, and that it was the crooked Mussulman, whose death you are now about to avenge. So my wife and I took the corpse, and, after conveying it up to the leads of our house, moved it to the roof of the purveyor's house, our next neighbour, and let it down the chimney into the chamber. The purveyor, finding it in his house, took the little man for a thief, and, after beating him, concluded he had killed him; but that it was not so, you will be convinced by this my deposition; so that I am the only author of the murder: and though it was committed undesignedly, I have resolved to expiate my crime by keeping clear of the charge of the death of two Mussulmen, and hinder you from executing the sultan's purveyor, whose innocence I have now revealed. So pray dismiss him, and put me in his place, for I alone am the cause of the death of the little man.

The chief justice being persuaded that the Jewish doctor was the murderer, gave orders to the executioner to seize him, and release the purveyor. Accordingly the doctor was just going to be hung up, when the tailor appeared, crying to the executioner to hold his hand, and make room for him, that he might come and make his confession to the lord justice; which being done, My lord, said he to the judge, you have narrowly escaped taking away the lives of three innocent persons, but if you will have patience to hear me, I will discover to you the real murderer of the crook-backed man. If his death is to be expiated by another, that must be mine. Yesterday evening, as I was at work in my shop, and pretty merry, the little hunch-back came to my door half drunk, and sat down before it. He began to sing, so I invited him to pass the evening at my house. Accordingly, he accepted of the invitation, and went with me. We sat down to supper, and I gave him a plate of fish; but, in eating, a bone stuck in his throat; and though my wife and I did our utmost to relieve him, he died in a few minutes. His death affected us extremely; and from fear of being charged with it, we carried the corpse to the Jewish doctor's house, and knocked at the door. The maid coming down and opening it, I desired her to go up forthwith, and ask her master to come down and give his advice to a sick person that we had brought along with us; and withal, to encourage him, I charged her to give him a piece of money, which I put into her hand. When she was gone up, I carried hunch-back up stairs, laid him upon the uppermost step, and then my wife and I made the best of our way home. The doctor, in coming down, kicked the corpse down stairs, and thereupon he supposed himself to be the author of his death. Now, this being the case, continued he, release the doctor, and let me die in his room.

The chief justice, and all the spectators, could not sufficiently admire the strange emergencies that ensued upon the death of the little crooked gentleman. Let the Jewish doctor go, said the judge, and hang up the tailor, since he confesses the crime. It is certain this history is very uncommon, and deserves to be recorded in letters of gold. The executioner having dismissed the doctor, made every thing ready to tie up the tailor. While the executioner was making ready to hang up the tailor, the sultan of Casgar, wanting the company of his crooked jester, asked where he was. One of his officers answered, The hunch-back, sir, whom you inquire after, got drunk last night, and, contrary to his custom, slipped out of the palace, went a sauntering into the city, and was this morning found dead. A man was brought before the chief justice, and charged with the murder of him; but as he was going to be hanged, up came a man, and after him another, who took the charge upon themselves, and cleared each other. The examination has continued a long while, and the judge is now interrogating a third man who avows himself the real author of the murder.

Upon this intelligence, the sultan of Casgar sent a hussar to the place of execution. Go, said he to the messenger, make all the haste you can, bring the arraigned persons before me immediately, with the corpse of poor crump-back, that I may see him once more. Accordingly the hussar went, and happened to arrive at the place of execution at the time when the executioner was going to tie up the tailor. He cried aloud to the executioner to suspend the execution. The hangman, knowing the hussar, did not dare to proceed, but untied the tailor; and then the hussar acquainted the judge with the sultan's pleasure. The judge obeyed, and went straight to the palace, accompanied by the tailor, the Jewish doctor, and the Christian merchant; causing four of his men to carry the hunch corpse along with him. The judge, on appearing before the sultan, threw himself at the prince's feet, and, after recovering himself, gave him a faithful relation of what he knew of the story of the crump-backed man. The sultan found the story so uncommon, that he ordered his private historians to write it with all its circumstances. Then addressing himself to the audience, Did you ever hear, said he, such a surprising story as has happened on account of my little crooked buffoon? The Christian merchant then, after falling down, and saluting the earth with his forehead, spoke in the following manner: Most puisant monarch, said he, I know a story even more astonishing than that you have now spoken off; and if your majesty will give me leave, I will tell it you. The circumstances are such, that nobody can hear them without being moved. Well, said the sultan, I give you leave; and the merchant went on as follows.

THE STORY TOLD BY THE CHRISTIAN MERCHANT.

Sir, before I commence the recital of the story you have allowed me to tell, I beg leave to acquaint you, that I have not the honour to be born in a place that pertains to your majesty's empire. I am a stranger, born at Cairo in Egypt, one of the Coptic nations, and a professor of the Christian religion: my father was a broker, and got a good estate, which he left me at his death: I followed his example, and took up the same employment. One day at Cairo, as I was standing in the public resort for the corn-merchants, there came up to me a handsome young man, well clad, and mounted upon an ass. He saluted me, and pulling out his handkerchief, where he had a sample of sesame and Turkey corn, asked me what a bushel of such sesame would fetch? I examined the corn which the young man showed me, and told him it was worth a hundred drams of silver per bushel. 'Pray, said he, look out for some merchant to take it at that price, and come to me at the Victory-gate, where you will see a hut at a distance from the houses.' He then left me, and I showed the sample to several merchants, who told me they would take as much as I could spare at an hundred and ten drams per bushel; so that I made an account to get ten drams per bushel for my brokerage. Full of the expectation of this profit, I went forthwith to the Victory-gate, where I found the young merchant waiting for me, and he carried me into his granary, which was full of sesame. He had an hundred and fifty bushels of it, which I measured out, and, having carried them off upon asses, sold them for five thousand drams of silver. Now, out of this sum, said the young man, five hundred drams fall to you, at the rate of ten drams per bushel. I order you to take it, and apply it to your own use; and as for the rest, which is mine, do you take it out of the merchant's hand, and keep it till I call for it, as I nave no occasion for it at present. I made answer, that it should be ready for him whenever he pleased; and so took leave of him, with a grateful sense of his generosity.

In a month after, he came and asked for his four thousand five hundred drams of silver. I told him they were ready, and should be told down to him in a minute: he was mounted on his ass;, so I desired him to alight, and do me the honour to eat a mouthful with me before he received his money. No, said he, I cannot alight at present; I have urgent business that obliges me to be at a place hard by here; but I will return this way, and take the money, which I desire you would have in readiness. This said, he disappeared; and I still expected his return, but it was a full month before he came again. I thought with myself, the young man reposes a great trust in me, leaving so great a sum in my hands without knowing me; another would have been afraid lest I should have run away with it. To be short, he came again at the end of the third month, and was still mounted on his ass, but finer in his clothes than before. As soon as I saw him, I entreated him to alight, and asked him if he would not take his money? It is no matter for that, said he, with a pleasant easy air, I know it is in good hands; I will come and take it when all my other money is gone: adieu, continued he, I will come again towards the latter end of the week. He then clapped spurs to his ass, and away he went. Well, thought I to myself, he says he will see me towards the latter end of the week, but it is likely I may not see him for a great while; will go and make the most of his money, and get a good penny by it.

As it happened, I was not out of my conjecture, for it was a full year before I saw my young merchant again. Then he appeared indeed with richer apparel than before, but very thoughtful. I asked him to do me the honour to walk into my house: for this time, replied he, I will go in; but upon this condition, that you shall put yourself to no extraordinary charge upon my account. That shall be as you please, said I; only do me the favour to alight and walk in. He accordingly complied, and I gave orders for some sort of entertainment; and, while that was getting ready we fell into discourse together. When the victuals were got ready, we sat down at table. When he ate the first mouthful, I observed he fed himself with the left hand, and not with the right; I could not tell what to think of it; I thought within myself, ever since I knew this young man, he always appeared very polite: is it possible he can do this out of contempt? What can the matter be that he does not make use of his right hand? After we had done eating, and every thing was taken away, we sat down upon a sofa, when I presented him with a lozenge that was excellent for giving a sweet breath, but he still took it with his left hand. Then I accosted him in this manner: Sir, pray pardon the liberty I take in asking you what reason you have for not making use of your right hand; it is likely you have some disorder in that hand. Instead of answering, he fetched a deep sigh, and pulling out his right arm, which he had hitherto kept under his garment, showed me, to my great astonishment, that his hand had been cut off. Doubtless you were alarmed, said he, to see me feed myself with the left hand; but I leave you to judge whether it was in my power to do otherwise. May one ask you; said I, by what mischance it was that you lost your right hand? Upon that he fell into tears, and, after wiping his eyes, gave me the following relation.

You must know, said he, that I am a native of Bagdad, the son of a rich father, the most noted man in that city both for quality and riches. I had scarcely launched into the world, when falling into the company of travellers, and hearing wonders told of Egypt, especially of Grand Cairo, I was moved by their discourse, and took a longing desire to travel thither; but my father was then alive, and had not given me leave. In fine, he died, and thereupon, being my own master, I resolved to take a journey to Cairo. I laid out a large sum of money upon several sorts of fine stuffs of Bagdad and Moussol, and then undertook my journey.