Chapter V: Act II

_Enter_ PETER. "Jewhillikins! This is a nice garden. What pesky villains all these people must be, considerin' that they wear good clothes and don't break the furnitoor. There's that chap that deserted his wife. I'll fix him."--_Hides himself in an arbor._

_Enter_ PLAUSIBLE VILLAIN.--"Confusion! Can the bumpkin suspect me? In order to avert suspicion, I will confide everything to the friendly air."--_Relates his past life and future plans, at the top of his lungs, and then returns to the house._

_Enter_ PREPOSTEROUS UNCLE, _and various_ TEDIOUS PEOPLE, _who all want to marry_ BLANCHE. _They converse tediously and go away again. Applause! Enter_ BLANCHE _and_ PLAUSIBLE VILLAIN.

PLAUSIBLE VILLAIN.--"Confusion! Can the bumpkin suspect me? BLANCHE, we must fly to-night. Not a moment is to be lost."

_Re-enter_ PETER. "Jewhillikins! BLANCHE, I want to talk a spell with yon."--To PLAUSTBLE VILLAIN "Go into the haouse, will you?"--_He goes_.

BLANCHE, "What do you want, PETER? Why do you tear my dress, and scratch your head so persistently?"

PETER. "Jewhillikins! That feller you love is a scoundrel. I'll prove it. Will you believe it after it's proved?"

BLANCHE, (_With a fine sense of what is truly womanly_.) "Of course I won't believe it. I despise proofs and arguments."

_Enter_ TEDIOUS PEOPLE _and_ IREELEVANT PEOPLE. _They converse more tediously and irrelevantly than before. At last the carpenters, who have been out for beer, return and drop the curtain._