Chapter VI: Act IV: SCENE:—A grass plat with trees in background (3)

RALPH. But you went out madam. A publishing house is like a barber shop.

SUSAN. (_Snorts._) Barber shop!

RALPH. Yes, when you leave you lose your turn.

SUSAN. Humph! I don’t know anything about barber shops, and I guess from your appearance you haven’t been in one lately either.

RALPH. Madam, the natural gallantry which appertains to my sex and calling forbids me to argue this question further with a lady. (_Sees that P. is gone, gives knowing look._) Satisfied of my own rights in the matter I yield to you, I go. (_Bows, exit R._)

SUSAN. He’s not so bad after all. But what a difference between poetry and its producers. All contrast in this world! Now Mr. Powers—(_reads same paragraph as before, looks up, discovers P. is gone, screams_)—all gone! That fire must be real, for there isn’t a soul in sight. (_Gong again._) Oh dear, if my novel should be burned it would be an irreparable loss to the world. The very thought makes me shudder. (_Runs out R. crying_ “fire! fire!”)

QUICK CURTAIN.

THE NEW WOMAN

A COMEDY OF A. D. 1950

IN THREE ACTS

BY T. S. DENISON

_Author of_
Odds with the Enemy, Initiating a Granger, Wanted, a Correspondent, A
Family Strike, Seth Greenback, Louva, the Pauper, Hans Von Smash,
Borrowing Trouble, Two Ghosts in White, The Pull-Back, Country Justice,
The Assessor, The Sparkling Cup, Our Country, Irish Linen
Peddler, The School Ma’am, Kansas Immigrants, An Only Daughter,
Too Much of a Good Thing, Under the Laurels, Hard Cider,
The Danger Signal, Wide Enough for Two, Pets of Society,
Is the Editor In? The New Woman, Patsy O’Wang, Rejected,
Only Cold Tea, Madam P’s Beauty Parlors, Topp’s
Twins, A First-Class Hotel, It’s all in the Pay-Streak,
The Cobbler, A Dude in a Cyclone, Friday Dialogues.

_Also the Novels,
The Man Behind, An Iron Crown, etc._

CHICAGO:
T. S. DENISON, PUBLISHER,
163 RANDOLPH STREET.

THE NEW WOMAN.

COPYRIGHT, 1895, BY T. S. DENISON.

CHARACTERS.

_Women._

MISS PINK T. HYKIGHT, Pres. of Club, who has never found a man good
enough for her. Motto of the Hykight’s “Soaring.”
MISS ROSA LIGHTFOOT, Secretary. Young and pretty.
MISS DOLLIE GIGLETTE, who is up to date.
MISS BIRDIE ROBBINS, no longer a “chicken,” and intensely anti-man.
MISS DAISY DOUGHFLYER, (Duffy, from the French Du Fay).
MARY, the stewardess who is known as “Smilax.”
OTHER WOMEN, only talked about—Ernestine Arlington, who is engaged,
and Willie Jones (not a boy), who is so very timid that the only
thing she can do is to elope.

_Horrid men._

JACK BLAKE, a collector for the gas company who is misunderstood by
Miss Hykight but much better understood by Rosa.
BERTIE HOWELL, “at leisure, don’t you know” and has time to fawnsy
Daisy.
MACK, the ice man who fancies Mary.

_Time of playing, one hour._

STAGE DIRECTIONS.

_R._ means right of the stage _C._, center; _R. C._, right center; _L._, left; _1 E._, first entrance; _U. E._, upper entrance, etc.; _D. F._, door in flat or back of the stage. The actor is supposed to be facing the audience.

COSTUMES.

BIRDIE ROBBINS, make-up of prim old maid.

MISS PINK T. HYKIGHT, stylish, modern according to taste.

DOLLIE GIGLETTE, mannish and easy swagger of a polite swell.

MARY, neat working dress.

OTHER LADIES, modern, according to taste.

BERTIE, _First Act_. Swell dude, bloomers, veil, long, pointed shoes with gilt chains from knee-buckles to toes of shoes, eye-glass, cane, and any other suitable extravagance. He must not however look vulgar. _Second Act._ Blue or brown drilling pants and working coat, slouch hat, whiskers, plumber’s kit, tongs, lead pipe, hammer, etc.

BLAKE, first appearance, plain business suit; second appearance more natty with buttonhole bouquet.

MACK, blue or brown wool shirt, overalls, slouch hat.

PROPERTIES.

Vase of flowers, letters for case, writing materials, book for club roll, hammer, pincers, solder, etc., for plumber all wrapped in piece of carpet; cane, eye-glass, coins.

NOTE—This play may be made very amusing if the actors enter heartily into the spirit of its absurdities. This is specially true of Bertie Howells and Dollie Giglette, but care must be exercised to avoid anything approaching coarseness.

THE NEW WOMAN.