Chapter XII: Act III

SCENE—_Reception room of tourist hotel, Florida; folding doors
in flat C.; piano by wall, R.; settee by wall, L., table C.
littered with old periodicals, and some oranges in basket;
R. R., and steamship advts. on the walls; chairs ad lib; big
ox horns, stuffed bird, alligator, or other familiar hotel
trapping. If not convenient to have door in flat, entrance may
be at either side, by re-arrangement of furniture. Doors always
open. FLORENCE and RACHEL discovered as curtain rises._

FLO. Rachel, how do you like your first experience down South?

RACHEL. It is all so odd.

FLO. Are you enjoying it?

RACH. Oh, so much. I always wanted to travel. I never hoped to get such a trip as this. The trees and everything are so different.

FLO. It is much stranger still in Mexico; if you could only have seen that.

RACH. I’ll never forget your kindness in giving me this trip.

FLO. Thank papa, Rachel, I was selfish and didn’t want any maid. It looks foolish for a girl like me to have a maid.

RACH. It’s no harm. Mr. Lawton wants you to get strong again.

FLO. (_Rather sadly._) Rachel, don’t you think I am strong?

RACH. Oh, yes! You look much better lately.

_ENTER MR. LAW., D. F._

LAW. I’ve been looking for you, daughter. What is your programme for to-day? A drive or a sail?

FLO. I don’t care which, papa, I enjoy everything that pleases you.

LAW. But I want you to choose for yourself. I am such an old traveler I have seen about everything.

FLO. What do you say, Rachel?

RACH. Laws! Miss Flossie, it ain’t for me to choose.

FLO. But what do you like? Are you afraid of the water?

RACH. I don’t know. Do they get sea sick?

LAW. Not on the river. Florence, they are catching chameleons now in the garden.

FLO. Oh, I want to see them! (_Exit D. F._)

RACH. So do I! (_Going D. F._)

LAW. Rachel!

RACH. Sir!

LAW. Come here, I want to speak to you. I have made an important discovery.

RACH. Land sakes! none of the trunks missing?

LAW. (_Laughs._) The trunks are all right. I’ve found somebody here that Florence knows!

RACH. Who?

LAW. That Colorado partner of—of you know whom.

RACH. Dear me! how’d he get so far?

LAW. He is here on his wedding trip. In this hotel. Do you think Flossie would like to meet them?

RACH. I don’t know. It might worry her and—

LAW. Recall the old times! Just what I thought. But then, she might be glad to see them. They were very kind to her. Rough people, but good as gold. He is putting on style. Best rooms in the house!

RACH. Hadn’t we better keep clear of them for a day or two and sort of prepare her for it?

LAW. But how can you in a hotel like this? Everybody sees everybody else. If we weren’t fatigued already, I’d go on to Lake Worth to-day.

RACH. Then the best way is to ask her right out, whether she cares to see them.

LAW. I know her answer. She’ll think it a duty.

RACH. The sooner the better then, I think.

LAW. Very well, I’ll go and talk to her. (_Exit D. F._)

RACH. Well aint that odder’n Dick’s hatband! The idee of meeting people from the four quarters of the globe. These tourists seem to keep on forever running to and fro on the earth. How can they afford it? Money goes like water! I never dreamed o’ such expense! (_Sees oranges on table._) And an orange here aint nothin’ more than a potato was where I was raised. I’m going to take one! (_Takes orange._)

_ENTER HERB., suddenly, D. F.; RACHEL, surprised, looks guilty and starts out quickly, D. F._

HERB. (_Excitedly._) Rachel!

RACH. Mr. Herbert—what is it?

HERB. Where’s Flossie? (_Lowering voice._)

RACH. In the garden.

HERB. I must find her at once! It is very important.

RACH. Yes, I know.

HERB. You know! Have you seen _him_?

RACH. Him? Who?

HERB. Why Vance, of course!

RACH. (_Startled._) Mercy me! Mr. Herbert, is he here?

HERB. Yes, and may meet her any minute!

RACH. (_Excitedly._) That might give her a relapse. She’s awfully nervous yet.

HERB. I know it. What can we do?

RACH. We must get her away at once!

HERB. I have a different idea.

RACH. What is that?

HERB. I’ll make him explain his conduct or—

RACH. Oh Herbie, please don’t think of that! Remember what happened before! Those miners are dreadful men! He’ll kill you, sure!

HERB. He’ll not get a chance! I’ll get the drop and he can apologize or do worse. I’ll find him at once.

RACH. Oh Herbert, don’t. (_Grasps his arm._)

HERB. Let me go. I’ll not endure such an insult to my sister. As long as he took me for some one else he had an excuse, but now that he knows I am her brother, his conduct is infamous. (_Going D. F._)

RACH. (_Trying to restrain him._) But your father—speak to him first.

HERB. Father would call him to account if they met.

RACH. But he would not hurt your father. They never quarreled.

HERB. He shall answer for his conduct.

RACH. Oh, think of her—she loves him yet.

HERB. I am thinking of her. The traitor! (_Goes hurriedly D. F. pushing RACHEL aside._)

RACH. (_Excitedly._) What shall I do? Oh, where is Mr. Lawton? Another such shock will kill her. I must find Mr. Lawton immediately. (_Exit RACH. rapidly as_

_ENTER ROGERS and WIFE, L., runs against R., and drops orange._)

ROG. Beg pardon, madam! (_She never stops._) Cuss it, that gal’s crazy.

MRS. R. Jim, you must quit swearin’.

ROG. I’m tryin’ my level best. Cuss it isn’t swearin’ at all. Say, Mollie, aint this great?

MRS. R. What’s great?

ROG. Why, this country an’ everything. Oranges right on the trees till they’re yaller as gold, an’ strawberries in February. (_Picks orange from floor._)

MRS. R. I haint seen any strawberries, Jim. They’re not on the table.

ROG. Well no, of course not. They go north to sell. Ye couldn’t expect to see ’em on the table.

MRS. R. Why not? What’s the use of havin’ money if it won’t buy things as soon as other people gets ’em an’ as good?

ROG. I reckon that’s right, but ye see these Floridy people figger both ways. The hotel makes ye pay fur the berries jist the same as if ye got ’em an’ then sells ’em fur market. Savvy?

MRS. R. I’m sick an’ tired o’ bacon an’ canned stuff. Had ’em all my life in the Rocky Mountains.

ROG. But Mollie, jist think o’ the other curus things, the palmettos an’ the alligators—

MRS. R. We can’t eat the alligators.

ROG. But we kin take one home in a cigyar box.

MRS. R. Indeed we wont. It makes me tired to see people trottin’ round with a lot o’ hand bags and Florida canes.

ROG. Made in New York—

MRS. R. An’ alligators in boxes, smellin’ like fury. Women doin’ it, too! An’ fussin over chameleons an’ carryin’ green cocoanuts home. As if sich things were of any account out o’ their right place.

ROG. There’s another thing, Mollie, ’at makes me still tireder.

MRS. R. What’s that?

ROG. Eatin’ fish. We’ve had ’em three times a day ever sence we’ve been in Floridy. I reckon we’ll haf to eat all the fish in Injun river, an’ there’s a slew of ’em. Wy, a man told me this mornin’ ’at sometimes they was so thick in the river that ye couldn’t row a boat. Oars jist slipped over solid fish as if the river was greased.

MRS. R. Jim, that man took you fur a tenderfoot.

ROG. Mebbe so. As I don’t know much about Floridy I couldn’t dispute him, but I up an’ told him about that time the mountain lions were so plenty in the Gunnison country ’at we had to kick ’em away from round the fire afore we could git breakfast, an’ we couldn’t tell when it thundered fur their infernal roarin’. I put that at him as a sort of a feeler.

MRS. R. Jim, I’m sick o’ the whole business.

ROG. (_With feeling._) Say now, Mollie, ye don’t mean it. On yer weddin’ trip an’ tired of it? (_Caressing her._) Mollie, ye don’t mean _me_ too, do you?

MRS. R. (_Smiling._) No, Jim, I don’t mean you, but I’m tired bein’ stared at an’ pointed out.

ROG. Wy Mollie, d’ye s’pose they’re onto our racket?

MRS. R. Jim, your slang is dreadful. Can’t you drop a little of it. Of course everybody can see that we are bride and groom.

ROG. How on earth can they tell?

MRS. R. Humph! An’ you that spoony—

ROG. Then it’s me that makes ye tired, an’ my ways. (_Sadly._) Mollie, you don’t know what you have said. Ye’re ashamed o’ me.

MRS. R. No, I am not, Jim. I am not ashamed of anything, but I am disgusted. People talk nice to our faces and laugh at us behind our backs.

ROG. Why, cuss ’em. I could buy the whole caboodle of ’em.

MRS. R. No, ye couldn’t, Jim. These people have money, and what’s more, they are used to it, and get the worth of their money travelin’. We don’t.

ROG. Worth o’ their money! How does that old skate git the worth o’ his money who goes trottin’ round with what he calls a _vally de shamber_ to put his clothes on? Mollie, I never want nobody puttin’ my clothes on me. Why, it aint decent. When I git as wuthless as that cuss, I want ’em to take me out an’ lynch me.

MRS. R. But when that man orders anything, the waiters get it at once.

ROG. So they do fur us. I plunk down a dollar an’ they git a gait on.

MRS. R. An’ they laugh at ye afterwards.

ROG. (_Angry._) Laugh at me! How d’ye know?

MRS. R. I’ve overheard them.

ROG. Well, there’ll be a dead nigger if they do it agin.

MRS. R. Jim, you mustn’t talk that way. We can’t blame ’em. We don’t know how to act, I guess.

ROG. No, Mollie, I reckon we aint in it.

MRS. R. Let’s go back home!

ROG. All right. Vance is tired of it, too.

MRS. R. Vance tired? Why, he knows how to act. He’s been with the best.

ROG. He’s sick of it. Goin’ to Europe or some’ers.

MRS. R. Poor Vance! I’m awful sorry. D’ye s’pose he’ll ever git over that shootin’ of _her_ brother.

ROG. No! Say, Mollie (_confidentially_), I s’pose I oughtn’t to tell. He asked me not to, but that’s why he’s goin’ so sudden. He’s so restless, he can’t stay in one place.

MRS. R. I’m awful sorry fur Vance.

ROG. You bet. If I was him I’d get onto that lead agin or burn some powder. I never seen whiter people than them Lawtons.

MRS. R. But how could they make up after that?

ROG. Old man is A1.

MRS. R. He doesn’t want to marry the old man!

ROG. No, but I’d have an assay anyway an’ see if there wasn’t a trace. If the button wasn’t bigger’n a pin-head I’d foller the lead. As fur the young lady, she’s all pay streak clean through, an’ a thousand dollars to the ton, an’ purty as a peach. If I wasn’t taken a’ready, Mollie—

MRS. R. Now Jim, don’t be silly. You do say such things an’ people hear.

ROG. Let ’em hear! who cares?

MRS. R. I s’pose he’s never seen her sence.

ROG. Seein’ her would be awful hard to do after shootin’ her brother before her eyes!

MRS. R. But it was all a terrible mistake, nobody was to blame.

ROG. D’ye think they could ever forgit that?

MRS. R. Mebbe not, but I b’lieve both of ’em would be better fur havin’ a talk. Vance is too good an’ true to go dodgin’ anybody.

ROG. That’s what!

MRS. R. I wish they could meet. She loves him to death.

ROG. D’ye think so, Mollie?

MRS. R. I know it. Why she nearly went out of her head after the shootin’.

ROG. Why couldn’t I tell him that?

MRS. R. (_Emphatically._) Don’t think of such a thing.

ROG. Hist, Mollie! (_He hears VANCE coming._)

_ENTER VANCE, D. F._

VANCE. Good morning, Mrs. Rogers!

MRS. R. Good morning, Mr. Vance! I am so glad to see you. I am so weary of seein’ nobody but strangers an’ niggers day after day.

VANCE. I’m very sorry then that I have come to announce my immediate departure.

MRS. R. So ye’re goin’ to leave us?

VANCE. (_Sadly._) Yes, I’m sorry, but I—I have changed my plans.

MRS. R. Purty sudden, aint it?

VANCE. Rather! Well, you see, Mrs. Rogers, I’m a nervous, restless sort of chap. Always was, you know.

ROG. Pard, come back to the mountains with us.

VANCE. (_Surprised._) What! Are you going, too?

ROG. Yes, Mollie’s gittin’ tired of society.

VANCE. I don’t blame her. Such a hurly-burly, come-and-go sort of life as this is intolerable.

MRS. R. I can’t bear it.

ROG. The Grouse is all tore up about it. Says people make fun of us. I said let me ketch ’em at it.

MRS. R. (_Warningly._) Jim!

ROG. What do I care fur ’em? I pay as I go.

VANCE. Yes, of course.

MRS. R. Pay as you go! Just as if money did everything. They have money an’ edication, we have nothin’ but money.

ROG. (_Vexed._) Don’t say that, Mrs. Rogers. Taint so. We have somethin’ else. We’ve horse sense. That’s more’n that old galoot with the _vally de shamber_ kin say. An’ look at that arm. Aint that something? I’ve driv a drill three foot into solid granite in the Lucy, an’ I kin do it agin. An’ that old gilly an’ his _vally de shamber_ couldn’t both do that in a week, to save their necks.

MRS. R. They don’t have to drill holes in rocks.

ROG. Well, I’ll drill a hole in the next feller ’at laughs at you, Mollie. An’ I’ll make it big enough fur him to put in a skylight. Cuss ’em, what do I care for Floridy, an’ dudes from down East, an’ gals dressed to kill. None of ’em as purty as you!

MRS. R. Jim Rogers!

ROG. An’ if some o’ them dudes aint a holy show, I’ll eat a live alligater.

VANCE. I think you are oversensitive, Mrs. Rogers. You’ll get used to this after a while and like it better.

MRS. R. Harvey Vance, why don’t you like it then? It’s your own kind.

VANCE. (_Uneasy._) Well—in fact I never was much for show and style, and—in fact it occurred to me to see Europe while I have a chance. (_Going._)

ROG. Goin’ to pack up?

VANCE. Yes. I want to catch the next Savannah boat. (_Exit._)

ROG. Say Mollie, le’s us pack our traps an’ the whole outfit’ll go to Europe.

MRS. R. Good land! Jim Rogers, are you crazy? (_Servant raps at door._)

ROG. Come in.

_ENTER servant with card on tray._

ROG. (_Takes card._) Somebody callin’ on us, Mollie. Waltz ’em in. (_Servant grins._) Say, looky hyur, are you grinnin’ at me, you cussed Ethiopian monkey?[1] I’ll break yer neck! (_Grabs at waiter who drops tray and flies out as ROG. throws tray after him. MRS. R. fit of laughter._) Cyards everywhere! Instead o’ comin’ right in. I can’t stand this foolery nether.

[1] If waiter is white, substitute: “You cussed dried-herrin’,
Floridy cracker.”

_ENTER MR. LAW and FLO._

LAW. Mr. Rogers, I believe.

ROG. That’s me! Why, how are you, Mr. Lawton. Awful glad to see you. (_Introducing._) My wife! Used to be the Grouse, you know.

LAW. Mrs. Rogers, I’m delighted. You remember my daughter.

MRS. R. Yes, indeed!

FLO. Oh, very well. (_They kiss._) My dear friends, married! Many congratulations.

ROG. Yes, Mollie an’ me thought we’d hitch.

MRS. R. James!

ROG. Get married I mean, an’ now we’re on our weddin’ tower.

LAW. Let me also extend my heartiest congratulations. (_To MRS. R._) Of course you are enjoying your trip. We should never ask a bride that question.

MRS. R. Why yes—that is—

ROG. She’s kickin’ a little. Haint got used to tippin’ everybody every time she turns round. I ain’t carin’ fur expense.

MRS. R. James, that’s not interestin’ to other folks. (_JIM looks at her then at MR. L._)

FLO. I’m _so_ glad to see you, Mrs. Rogers, you look so well—

ROG. Lookin’ well! I should say. Mollie, I call that neat. (_Women aside._)

LAW. (_Laughing._) Rogers, (_in half aside_) you’re in great luck.

ROG. You bet! I’m right on the pay streak. Han’some bird and stuff to buy the feathers.

LAW. We owe you and your wife a great deal.

ROG. Not a red! Wy, cuss it, I owe you somethin’ I can’t never pay. To think I let them fight—it makes me sick to think of it. Am I doin’ right to mention it?

LAW. What’s done is done.

_ENTER RACHEL, D. F., running, out of breath._

RACH. (_Excitedly._) Oh Mr. Lawton!

LAW. What is the matter, Rachel?

FLO. Rachel, speak!

RACH. I’m so out of breath (_gasps_), he’s lookin’ for him.

ROG. (_Excitedly._) Who’s lookin’ for who?

FLO. Rachel, you make me nervous.

LAW. Speak Rachel! What ails you?

RACH. I’ve run everywhere lookin’ for you. Mr. Herbert is lookin’ for Vance.

ROG. Herbert! Wy, he’s dead!

LAW. }
} Dead!
FLO. }

ROG. Yes, the jewel (_duel_) they fit in the mountains. Is that gal crazy?

LAW. My son is not dead, he got well.

ROG. Not dead! Got well! The cussed paper said he was dead.

LAW. A reporter’s mistake.

ROG. We’ll, I’ll be—that beats _me_.

FLO. (_Soliloquy._) That is why _he_ never came. (_With anguish._) Oh! oh! (_MRS. R. helps her to settee._)

LAW. Rachel, where are they?

RACH. I don’t know, sir. But Mr. Herbert has a pistol. Oh, they’ll shoot.

FLO. That is terrible! Do stop them please! Quick!

ROG. Lookin’ fur ’im with a gun. Cuss _me_ if that don’t mind me of old times. I’ll take a hand I ’low. (_Changes._) Say, I haint no gun. (_Excitedly._) Mollie, I told you we’d need a gun.

LAW. Run, you are young. Explain. Command peace.

ROG. Now, how _kin_ a man command peace with no gun. Why, he wouldn’t have no more say than a baby.

MRS. R. Jim, do go. Speak to them.

ROG. Bet yer life I’ll try! (_Runs out D. F._)

LAW. (_Anxiously._) Daughter, have courage. It’ll be all right. What a mistake.

FLO. But I can’t see him. Take me to my room, papa.

LAW. Yes dear. (_They start, she leaning on his arm._)

_ENTER ROG., hurriedly, D. F._

ROG. It’s _all_ right. No shootin’. Here they are.

_ENTER VANCE and HERB., D. F._

HERB. Yes, it is all right. Father, welcome Mr. Vance, _my friend_. (_L. and V. shake hands cordially._)

ROG. Mollie, I’m so awful glad, I want to raise ole Nick!

MRS. R. Jim, be still.

ROG. Well, it’s all right, pard. (_Seizes V.’S hand._)

VANCE. No, it is _not_ all right yet. It is for the one most wronged to say that. (_To FLO._) Miss Lawton—

FLO. Harvey!

VANCE. Can you forgive me? (_Looks at her. Pause._) Yes?

FLO. Yes. (_She extends her hand greatly overcome. They meet aside L., others gather R._)

ROG. (_To MOLLIE._) I told you. Say, Mr. Lawton, this is a great country after all. It’s good enough for me.

HERB. There’s luck in it, too.

LAW. It is not bad I think.

ROG. (_Turns toward V. and F._) Pard, goin’ to Europe now?

MRS. R. (_Pulls at his arm._) Let ’em alone!

VANCE. Why yes; with Mr. Lawton’s permission.

LAW. Vance, I leave all those things to the parties interested.

VANCE. What do you say, Flossie?

FLO. Harvey—we—we’ll think it over.

ROG. That’s jist the way the Grouse talked when I asked her. It’s a go! Mollie, git to packin’ the trunks. We’ll be in the party. (_Dress stage. Looks at watch, suddenly changes, looks at watch._) Holy Moses! Mollie, we’re to go a fishin’ to-day an’ the boat’s been waiting two hours at two dollars an hour.

TABLEAU.

_R._ _L._

HERB., LAWTON, MRS. R., ROG., VANCE, FLO., RACH.

SLOW CURTAIN.

THE COBBLER

A MONOLOGUE OF HUMOR AND PATHOS

BY T. S. DENISON

_Author of_
Odds with the Enemy, Initiating a Granger, Wanted, a Correspondent, A
Family Strike, Seth Greenback, Louva, the Pauper, Hans Von Smash,
Borrowing Trouble, Two Ghosts in White, The Pull-Back, Country Justice,
The Assessor, The Sparkling Cup, Our Country, Irish Linen
Peddler, The School Ma’am, Kansas Immigrants, An Only Daughter,
Too Much of a Good Thing, Under the Laurels, Hard Cider,
The Danger Signal, Wide Enough for Two, Pets of Society,
Is the Editor In? The New Woman, Patsy O’Wang, Rejected,
Only Cold Tea, Madam P’s Beauty Parlors, Topp’s
Twins, A First-Class Hotel, It’s all in the Pay-Streak,
The Cobbler, A Dude in a Cyclone, Friday Dialogues.

_Also the Novels,
The Man Behind, An Iron Crown, etc._

CHICAGO:
T. S. DENISON, PUBLISHER,
163 RANDOLPH STREET.

THE COBBLER.

COPYRIGHT, 1895, BY T. S. DENISON.

CHARACTER.

THE COBBLER, who while examining old shoes in his shop,
discourses about their various owners.

COSTUME.

The Cobbler should make up as old man, poorly dressed, gray wig, spectacles.

THE COBBLER.

SCENE—_A cobbler’s shop. Shoemaker’s bench and kit, shelves,
empty dry goods box, two paper shoe boxes, roll of leather
leaning in corner, lasts hanging on wall, old shoes scattered
about and scraps of leather on floor, old chair with one leg
broken. Bench well down C. so cobbler can move round freely in
shop. Cobbler with apron and make-up to suit._

COBBLER. (_As curtain rises is hammering a piece of sole leather on his lap stone._) That sole’s got to be jist right, jist so thick an’ no thicker. It’s fur Lawyer Boyd and I ’low no more particklerer man lives this side o’ Jordan. Always kickin’ about something. Said the last pair o’ shoes I made him didn’t fit anywhere except on his corns. Was ashamed of ’em every time he plead a case. Felt humiliated every time he saw ’em. (_Plies hammer vigorously._) Plague take it! I wouldn’t hurt a lawyer’s feelin’s fur the world, specially _his_ feelin’s. That man is downright insultin’ in his ways. Jist because I promised him a pair o’ new shoes last Thanksgivin’ an’ didn’t git ’em ready till Christmas he stormed round like a house afire. Said I was worse ’n the tailor an’ _he_ don’t never get anything ready on time. Some people thinks theirs is the only job in town. As if a shoemaker wasn’t human an’ consekently _had_ to fail in his promises _sometimes_. That old pettifogger actooally said if I was responsible he’d cane me. I’d like to see ’im try it. It’s thirty year sence anybody tried _that_ game on me. But he’s good pay an’ bin my customer fur thirty odd year. An’ customers aint none too plenty these days o’ factry shoes. It’s mostly patchin’ an’ people puttin’ on airs as if they was conferrin’ favors lettin’ you patch their old shoes. Old Boyd has a tongue, though, if he _is_ a gentleman. Said I want no better’n a tramp printer, an’ a dozen o’ them want worth the price of a glass o’ beer. Durn him! Cobblin’ is a better business ’n the law any day. In my day I had the best trade in Illinois. I’ve made shoes fur judges, an’ generals, yes, an’ fur a president, _too_. Made one pair fur Abe Lincoln when he was up here in ’59 pleadin’ a case. He come in an’, sez he, “I want a pair o’ kip shoes, make ’em easy!” That was all the directions. When he come fur ’em they went on like grease, an’, sez he, “That’s the way _I_ like ’em.” He didn’t pinch ’em an’ stomp round the shop an’ smell the leather an’ ask if it was split. He wasn’t that sort. He went away an’ left his old ones an’ like a fool I throwed ’em away. I’d give a thousand dollars fur ’em this minnit. No, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t afford to give one dollar fur ’em, but I ’low there are folks ’at would.

_Knocking at door. Goes to door and carries on conversation with one outside. COBBLER only is heard._

Heh? Minister wants his shoes? They aint done yet. Promised yisterday. So they was, but my old woman wasn’t well yisterday afternoon and I had to stay at home with her. When’ll he git ’em? To-morrow. Sure? (_Testily._) I said to-morrow. (_Comes back down grumbling._) Some people thinks ye kin do everything at onct. The minister kin write sermons in his slippers, cordin’ to my tell. Where are his shoes? (_Rummages._) Plague take it. I’m gittin’ forgitfuller every day. People thinks a shoemaker ought to carry everything in his mind. Next thing they’ll be wantin’ me to sleep with their old shoes. (_Finds shoes._) Humph! Easy to tell they was preacher’s shoes. He’s mighty keerful of ’em. Has to be on his salary, an’ people not a payin’ up prompt. They’ve been blacked an’ blacked till they aint much left but blackin’ an’ cracks. Not wuth mendin’ nohow, but I s’pose I’ll have to doctor ’em up somehow. They ought to be _foxed_ but that’ud cost mor ’n they’re worth.

_Throws shoes in pail of water with splash. Takes up another pair._

These are old Mrs. Green’s. Now jist see the patches! An’ she wants ’em gone over agin. Jacob’s coat aint a circumstance to _her_ shoes. That woman is tighter ’n a swelled bung. Last time I patched them shoes it took half a day an’ I charged her fifty cents coz I knowed I couldn’t git seventy-five. She said it was an outrage and cut up like a drunken fiddler till I was ashamed of her. Said thirty-five cents was a big price an’ she wouldn’t pay a red cent more. The old skinflint! (_Angrily._) I jist wont fool with them shoes any more. (_Throws them aside._) I don’t care if she does own half the town. I wouldn’t be in her shoes for half the earth. I uster want to be rich, but sence I see how riches has affected old Mrs. Green I’m better satisfied to be poor. (_Noise outside._) What’s all that racket?

_COBBLER goes to door and looks out._

That’s the movin’ wagons. The landlord’s been sayin’ these fifteen year he’d pull down this old place and build. I got sorter used to his talk and paid no attention to the notice. (_Feels in his pockets._) Where is that notice? I’m gittin’ more ’n more forgitful every day. (_Sits on bench._) Thirty odd year in one place an’ then move! I hoped it wouldn’t come in my time. (_Chin on hands._) I made old Judge Henry’s shoes here an’ I made Gen. Bridge’s boots here, the very pair he was killed in at Chickamaugy an’ I made Lincoln’s shoes here. They’re all dead long ago an’ I’m here yet. Thirty year in one place. It’s jist like movin’ an’ old tree. It’ll most likely dwindle an’ it takes more coddlin’ than a dozen young ones an’ then if it lives it’ll never do no great things. But there aint no use cryin’ over spilt milk. I’ll have to pack up.

_Rises, gets big dry goods box from corner and commences to sort the old shoes._

I ’low half this old truck might as well be burned, but what a fuss there’d be if some of these trumpery old things were lost. Old Mrs. Green would—well, I’ll jist wrap _hers_ up safe and sound. If they got injured I’d have to make her a new pair, nothin’ short of it, an’ then likely she’d want damages for the trouble I caused her. (_Finishes wrapping MRS. GREEN’S shoes and lays them up carefully on shelf. Picks up another pair._) Great Christopher! Here’s a pair of old Mrs. Jink’s shoes and I promised ’em to-day never thinkin’ of the movin’. There’ll be music if she don’t git ’em. She’s the only person in town I don’t dare to disappoint. Tried it once an’ it lasted me twenty year. Tongue! That woman could talk down a parrot house any day. She’s a buzz saw worked by ’lectricity. The old hyena! Why, that time she wanted to go away visitin’ her sister’s an’ her shoes wasn’t quite done—such a tongue lashin’ as I got. I don’t care much for people’s chinnin’ genally. Some I laugh at, an’ some I humor, but I stood like a stacher before her and dasn’t open my mouth. There must be sich things as special providences, fur old man Jinks is deaf as a post.

_Throws some shoes into box. Takes up large pair and pauses. Looks intently at them._

Why, if them aint Col. Sawyer’s shoes. Might a known ’em by the size, biggest foot in the state I reckon. He never got any repairin’ done ’cause I had no other shoes in the shop big enough for his feet to change into. Canal boats we uster call ’em. Why, the colonel’s been gone west these ten year. An’ I’m mighty sorry the town lost him. Soul as big as his feet—his immortal soul I mean. (_Laughs._) He did the town some good. Always startin’ some enterprise an’ keepin’ it a goin’, too. He didn’t set round till he took root like some people in this town. He _was_ a customer. Two pairs of new shoes an’ one pair of boots a year at ten dollars a pair. An’ no patchin’, ’cause he always said life was too short to wait fur patches. An’ he never kicked either if I was a month or so late on promise. He was a gentleman an’ never tried to browbeat poor folks.

_Throws shoes in box. Takes up another pair._

Farmer Snooks! (_Laughs heartily._) By ginger! that was funny. (_Laughs till he holds his sides._) Made that pair for Snooks an’ agreed to take it in trade. Fust thing I knowed, one night when I went home, I found a wagon load o’ turnips in the cellar. Mariar was hot but she’s one o’ them kind ’at never says much. Says she, “Cy, what on airth did you buy so many turnips fur?” Sez I, “I vum if I know. I told Snooks I’d take trade, but I guess I clean forgot to say what kind o’ trade.” Mariar she never said no more but jist cooked turnips every day fur about two months. Of course I dasn’t say nothin’, till one day she got dreadful pained an’ sick, an’ the doctor had to come on the run. He said she was threatened with dropisy, an’ I jist fed the rest o’ them turnips to the pigs. They kin work their spoiled truck off on the minister an’ the editor, for they can’t help theirselves, but they don’t work it off on me no more.

_Takes up another pair._

By jingo, there’s an old shoe of Jake Hart’s. Know it by the way he always run ’em down. I ’low they’re not any worse run down than Jake was. Poor feller, didn’t he go to the dogs after his mother left him a fortune? Want a nicer woman in town than Mrs. Hart. But she died at the right time. Poor Jake! Best hearted feller ye ever see. I made the first pair of boots he ever had when he wasn’t higher than that. (_Holds hand to show height._) His mother fetched him in. He spied a piece of red morocco; he would have that fur tops in spite of her. Jake painted everything red. Races, whiskey, bad company, an’ then shootin’ that man. Guess the man needed shootin’, but Jake had to vamoose. I wonder where he is now? Nobody’ll ever know I reckon. It’s always that way in this world, we aint missed long.

_Opens an old shoe box._

What’s this? (_Brushes off dust, reads, “Nellie Blake.”_) Well I vum! I didn’t know that any of Nellie Blake’s shoes was here yit. (_Muses._) What’ll I do with _them_? I can’t throw _them_ away. She was the best girl that ever lived in this town. There aint many angels anywhere on earth, I ’low, but Nellie was one if there be any. I wonder if she would have changed if she’d have lived? No I guess she’d be the same to-day. Her an’ Jake Hart was good friends. Jined yards an’ played together. Jake went among the best then. People said he liked Nellie, fur after she died he seemed all broke up like, an’ went away with his mother to travel. I wonder if I ought to send them shoes to her mother? I don’t know, mebbe it would please her, seein’ Nellie was an only child. No, I guess it might do more harm than good. (_With feeling._) I know what that is. I have a little pair of shoes out at the toes that I dasn’t show Mariar, though I know she has things of our little Jack hid away. (_Gets out little shoes. Looks at them fondly, wipes his glasses with handkerchief._) These durn specs is gittin’ so I can’t see nothin’. Our little Jack! I kin see him now, runnin’ down the street to call me to dinner. He was the youngest and we took to him more than to tothers. I’ll lay away Nellie’s shoes and keep them along with Jack’s. They was friends, too. (_Wipes glasses._) My specs seems awful dusty. (_Looks fondly at shoes as he puts them away._) Jack is waitin’ fur Mariar an’ me. It wont be very long now till we’ll see him.

CURTAIN.

DENISON’S ACTING PLAYS.

Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given.

M. F.

COMEDIES, MELODRAMAS, Etc.

All that Glitters is not Gold, 2 acts, 2 hrs. 6 3
Aunt Dinah’s Pledge, temperance, 2 acts, 1 hr. 6 3
Beggar Venus, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. (25c) 6 4
Blow for Blow, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 5 4
Bonnybell, operetta, 1 h. (25c) 2 5
Caste, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. 5 3
Chimney Corner, 2 acts, 1 hr. 30 min. 5 2
Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs. 7 4
Diplomates, 4 acts, 3 hrs. (25c) 5 5
Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. (25c) 8 4
Early Vows, 2 acts, 1 hr. (25c) 4 2
East Lynne, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 8 7
Elma, The Fairy Child, 1 hr. 45 min., operetta. (25c) 9 15
Enchanted Wood (The), 1 hr. 45 min., operetta. (35c) 5 6
Eulalia, 1 h. 30 min. (25c) 3 6
From Sumter to Appomattox, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. (25c) 6 2
Fruits of the Wine Cup, temperance, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4
Handy Andy, Irish, 2 acts, 1 hr. 30 min. 8 3
Home, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 4 3
Jedediah Judkins, J.P., 4 acts, 2 hr. 30 min. (25c) 7 5
Lady of Lyons, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. 8 4
London Assurance, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. 9 3
Lost in London, 3 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. 6 3
Louva the Pauper, 5 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. 9 4
Michael Erle, 2 acts, 1 hr. 30 m. 8 3
Mitsu-Yu-Nissi, Japanese Wedding, 1 hr. 15 min. 6 6
Money, 5 acts, 3 hrs. 9 3
My Wife’s Relations, 1 hr. 4 6
Not such a Fool as he Looks, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 5 3
Odds with the Enemy, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 7 4
Only Daughter (An), 3 acts, 1 hr. 15 min. 5 2
On the Brink, temperance, 2 acts, 2 hrs. 12 3
Our Country, 3 acts. 1 hr. 10 3
Ours, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. 6 3
Out in the Streets, temperance, 1 hr. 15 min. 6 4
Pet of Parsons’ Ranch, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 9 3
Pocahontas, musical burlesque, 2 acts, 1 hr. 10 2
Rivals, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 45 min. 8 4
School Ma’am (The), 4 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. 6 5
Sea Drift, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 6 2
Seth Greenback, 4 acts, 1 hr. 15 min. 7 3
Shadow Castle, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. (25c) 5 4
Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 20 min. 8 3
Solon Shingle 1 hr. 30 min. 7 2
Sparkling Cup, temperance, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 12 4
Ten Nights in a Barroom, temperance, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 7 4
Ticket of Leave Man, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 45 min. 8 3
Tony, the Convict, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. (25c) 7 4
Toodles, 2 acts, 1 hr. 15 min. 6 2
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2¼ h. (25c) 8 3
Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. 5 4
Under the Spell, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 30 min. (25c) 7 3
Wedding Trip (The), 2 acts, 1 hr. 3 2
Won at Last, 3 acts, 1 hr. 45 min. 7 3
Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3

FARCES AND SKETCHES.

Assessor, sketch, 10 min. 3 2
Babes in Wood, burlesque, 25 min. 4 3
Bad Job, 30 min. 3 2
Bardell vs. Pickwick, 25 min. 6 2
Beautiful Forever, 30 min. 2 2
Blind Margaret, musical, 30 m. 3 3
Borrowing Trouble, 25 min. 3 5
Breezy Call, 25 min. 2 1
Bumble’s Courtship, sketch, 18 min. 1 1
Cabman No. 93, 40 min. 2 2
Christmas Ship, musical, 20 m. 4 3
Circumlocution Office, 20 min. 6 0
Country Justice, 15 min. 8 0
Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 min. 3 2
Cut off with a Shilling, 25 min. 2 1
Deception, 30 min. 3 2
Desperate Situation, 25 min. 2 3
Dutchman in Ireland, 20 min. 3 0
Fair Encounter, sketch, 20 m. 0 2
Family Strike, 20 min. 3 3
Free-Knowledge-ist, 2 acts, 25 min. 3 3
Friendly Move, sketch, 20 m. 4 0
Hans Von Smash, 30 min. 4 3
Hard Cider, temperance, 15 m. 4 2
Homœopathy, Irish, 30 min. 5 3
Ici on Parle Français, 40 m. 4 3
I’ll Stay Awhile, 20 min. 4 0
I’m not Mesilf at All, Irish, 25 min. 3 2
Initiating a Granger, 25 min. 8 0
In the Dark, 25 min. 4 2
In the Wrong House, 20 min. 4 2
Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min. 3 3
Is the Editor in? 20 min. 4 2
John Smith, 30 min. 5 3
Just My Luck, 20 min. 4 3
Kansas Immigrants, 20 min. 5 1
Kiss in the Dark, 30 min. 2 3
Larkins’ Love Letters, 50 min. 3 2
Limerick Boy, 30 min. 5 2
Love and Rain, sketch, 20 m. 1 1
Lucky Sixpence, 30 min. 4 2
Lucy’s Old Man, sketch, 15 m. 2 3
Mike Donovan, 15 min. 1 3
Misses Beers, 25 min. 3 3
Mistake in Identity, sketch, 15 min. 0 2
Model of a Wife, 25 min. 3 2
Movement Cure, 15 min. 5 0
Mrs. Gamp’s Tea, sketch, 15 m. 0 2
My Jeremiah, 20 min. 3 2
My Lord in Livery, 45 min. 4 3
My Neighbor’s Wife, 45 min. 3 3
My Turn Next, 50 min. 4 3
Narrow Escape, sketch, 15 m. 0 2
Not at Home, 15 min. 2 0
On Guard, 25 min. 4 2
Persecuted Dutchman, 35 min. 6 3
Pets of Society, 30 min. 0 7
Played and Lost, sketch, 15 m. 3 2
Pull Back, 20 min. 0 6
Quiet Family, 45 min. 4 4
Realm of Time, musical allegory, 30 min. 8 15
Regular Fix, 50 min. 6 4
Rough Diamond, 40 min. 4 3
Row in Kitchen and Politician’s Breakfast, 2 monologues 1 1
Silent Woman, 25 min. 2 1
Slasher and Crasher, 1 h. 15 m. 5 2
Squeers’ School, sketch, 18 m. 4 2
Taming a Tiger, 20 min. 3 0
That Rascal Pat, 35 min. 3 2
Too Much of a Good Thing, 50 min. 3 6
Turn Him Out, 50 min. 3 3
Twenty Minutes Under Umbrella, sketch, 20 min. 1 1
Two Bonnycastles, 45 min. 3 3
Two Gay Deceivers, 25 min. 3 0
Two Gents in a Fix, 20 min. 2 0
Two Ghosts in White, 25 min. 0 8
Two Puddifoots, 40 min. 3 3
Uncle Dick’s Mistake, 20 min. 3 2
Very Pleasant Evening, 30 m. 3 0
Wanted a Correspondent, 1 hr. 4 4
Which Will He Marry? 30 m. 2 8
White Caps (The), musical, 30 min. 0 8
Who Told The Lie? 30 min. 5 3
Wide Enough for Two, 50 min. 5 2
Women of Lowenburg, historical sketch, 5 scenes, 50 m. 10 10
Woman Hater (The), 30 min. 2 1
Wonderful Letter, 25 min. 4 1
Wooing Under Difficulties, 35 min. 4 3
Yankee Peddler, 1 hr. 7 3

ETHIOPIAN FARCES.

Academy of Stars, 15 min. 5 1
All Expenses: Or, Nobody’s Son, 10 min. 2 0
Baby Coach Parade, 20 min. 4 2
Back from Californy; Or, Old Clothes, 12 min. 3 0
Deaf, In a Horn, 12 min. 2 0
Hamlet the Dainty, 15 min. 6 1
Handy Andy, 12 min. 2 0
Haunted House, 8 min. 2 0
Joke on Squinim (The), 25 m. 4 2
Jumbo Jum, 30 min. 4 3
Mischievous Nigger (The), 20 min. 4 2
No Cure, No Pay, 10 min. 3 1
Othello and Desdemona, 12 m. 2 0
Prof. Black’s Funnygraph, 15 min. 6 0
Quarrelsome Servants, 8 min. 3 0
Rooms to Let, 15 min. 2 1
Sham Doctor (The), 15 min. 4 2
Sports on a Lark, 8 min. 3 0
Stage Struck Darky, 10 min. 2 1
Stocks Up, Stocks Down, 8 m. 2 0
Tricks, 10 min. 5 2
Two Pompeys (The), 8 min. 4 0
Uncle Jeff, 25 min. 5 2
Unhappy Pair (An), 10 min. 3 0
Villikens and His Dinah 20 m. 4 1
Wax Works at Play, 30 min. 3 1
William Tell, 15 min. 4 0

The publisher believes that he can say truthfully that Denison’s list of plays is on the whole the best selected and most successful in the market. _New Plays_ will be added from time to time.

_Manuscripts_, not only of plays but of any books similar to those in Denison’s catalogue, will receive careful attention and if accepted will be paid for at current prices.

T. S. DENISON, Publisher, 163 Randolph St., Chicago.

CHOICE PLAYS AND AMUSEMENT BOOKS.

Plays by T. S. DENISON.

That the plays written by T. S. Denison are, all things considered, the best for amateurs, is attested by their very large and increasing sale.

New plays in =this type=.

ACTS. TIME. M. F.

COMEDIES.

Odds With the Enemy, 5, 2 hrs. 7—4
Seth Greenback, 4, 1 h. 15 m. 7—3
The School Ma’am, 4, 1 h. 45 m. 6—5
Only Daughter, 3, 1 h. 15 m. 5—2
Louva, the Pauper, 5, 2 hrs. 9—4
Under the Laurels, 5, 2 hrs. 5—4
Danger Signal, 2, 1 h. 45 m. 7—4
Our Country, Historical Play, 3, 1 h. 10—5
=Topp’s Twins=, 4, 2 hrs. 6—4
=It’s all in Pay Streak=, 3, 1 h. 40 m. 4—3
=The New Woman=, 3, 1 h. 3—6

FARCES.

Initiating a Granger, 25 m. 8—
Wanted, a Correspondent, 2, 45 m. 4—4
A Family Strike, 20 m. 3—3
Two Ghosts in White, 20 m. —8
The Assessor, 10 m. 3—2
Borrowing Trouble, 20 m. 3—5
Country Justice, 20 m. 8—
The Pull-Back, 20 m. —6
Hans von Smash, 2, 30 m. 4—3
Irish Linen Peddler, 2, 40 m. 3—3
Kansas Immigrants, 20 m. 5—1
Too Much of Good Thing, 45 m. 3—6
Is the Editor In? 20 m. 4—2
Pets of Society, 20 m. —7
Wide Enough for Two, 45 m. 5—2
=Patsy O’Wang=, 35 m. 4—3
=Rejected=, 40 m. 5—3
=A First-Class Hotel=, 20 m. 4—
=Mad. Princeton’s Temple of Beauty=, 20 m. —6
=Dude in Cyclone=, 20 m. 5—3
=The Cobbler=, 10 m. 1—

TEMPERANCE.

The Sparkling Cup, 5, 2 hrs. 12—4
Hard Cider, 10 m. 4—2
=Only Cold Tea=, 20 m. 3—3

☞ =Topp’s Twins= and =It’s all in the Pay Streak=, =25c.= each. All others, =15c.= each. Postpaid.

_Large Catalogue Free._

DIALOGUES.

=Friday Afternoon Dialogues.=
Twenty-five original pieces, 25c.
=When the Lessons are Over.=
New Dialogues, New Drills. New Plays, 25c.
=Dialogues from Dickens.=
Thirteen Selections, 25c.
=All Sorts of Dialogues.=
Just out. Dialogues for youths, children, and little tots,
also pieces for special occasions, 25c.

SPEAKERS.

=Friday Afternoon Speaker.=
For pupils of all ages, 25c.
=Choice Pieces for Little People=, 25c.
=Patriotic Speaker.=
Carefully selected from best authors, 25c.
=Dialect Readings.=
Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc., 25c.
=Sunday School Pieces=, 25c.
=Scrap-Book Recitations.=
A choice collection of pieces, pathetic, humorous,
descriptive, prose and poetry. Eleven Nos., per No. 25c.

TABLEAUX AND SHADOWS.

=Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes=,
Charades, and how to prepare them, 25c.
=School and Parlor Tableaux.=
For school, church and parlor, 25c.
=Wax Figgers of Mrs. Jarley.=
With full directions for preparing, 25c.

OPERETTAS.

Bonnybell, 25c.
Elma, the Fairy Child, 25c.
Eulalia, 25c.
Enchanted Wood, 35c
Pocahontas, 15c.

SPECIALTIES.

=Private Theatricals.=
How to select plays, form, cast, rehearsals, rain,
lightning, etc., 25c.
=Negro Minstrels.=
Just the book needed. Tells the whole thing, 25c.
=Work and Play.=
A gem of a book for children in school or church
entertainments, 25c.
=Pranks and Pastimes.=
All sorts of games, puzzles, shadow scenes, etc., for
evening parties, 25c.
=Social Card Games.=
An excellent manual of all common games, also _tricks_
and _diversions_, 35c.
=Debater’s Handbook= (cloth), 50c.
=Good Manners=, 25c.
=Everybody’s Letter-Writer=, 25c.

T. S. DENISON, Publisher, 163 Randolph St., Chicago.

SCRAP-BOOK RECITATIONS,

By HENRY M. SOPER,

_President of Soper School of Oratory, Chicago_.

Twelve Numbers, 144 pp. Each, Post Paid, 25 Cents Per Number.

=No. 1.= Contains a great range of pieces for all ages, from 10 years upward. Also the “FATHER OF HIS COUNTRY,” an admirable exercise, arranged for schools: Music, Recitations, Dialogues, Tableaux, etc.

“Excells anything we have ever seen for the purpose.”—_Eclectic Teacher._

=No. 2.= Contains prize oration, “Battle of Gettysburg” (in no other publication). Also “TEMPERANCE SUPPLEMENT,” comprising some of the finest recitations extant.

“The selections are fresh, pure and elevating.”—_Missouri Teacher._

=No. 3.= Has “The Problem of Life,” from Theodore Tilton’s master oration (published nowhere else), “The Battle of Cannæ,” a copyrighted Historical Poem; “CHRISTMAS SUPPLEMENT,” of Recitations and Dialogues.

“There is such a variety of prose and poetry, pathos, fun and narrative as is not often found in the compass of one small book.”—_Practical Teacher._

=No. 4.= Has the finest Decoration Day Poem extant.—“The Heroes and the Flowers;” A Heroic Medley; “Battle of Mission Ridge;” A Temperance Song Recital; Choice Humor, etc.

“Good in variety and will suit all moods and conditions.”—_Inter Ocean, Chicago._

=No. 5.= Contains the famous “Chariot Race” from “Ben Hur;” copyrighted selection by Bill Nye; Grady’s “New South;” Wit, Humor, Pathos, etc., in great variety.

“Some of the best specimens of the patriotic and humorous styles.”—_N. Y. School Journal._

=No. 6.= Has the “Ballad of Mary Jane,” a Popular School Pantomime and Recitation, 6 characters; A Humorous Medley; Riley’s “Elf Child;” Fine Eulogies on Grant and Logan.

=No. 7.= Has “Cupid among the Strawberries,” One Act Comedy (2 males and 3 females), “Mission of the Press,” a prize oration; Ingalls’ Eulogy on Burns; How Blinks Named the Baby, and much of latest humor, etc.

=No. 8.= SOPER’S PATRIOTIC SPEAKER.—Washington Centennial Speeches of Depew, Albertson, Mason, McIntyre, Gunsaulus, Hirsch, Burrows, Thurston, Blake; also Choicest Patriotic Orations and Poems, from Cicero down to the present day; for all occasions.

=No. 9.= Has the famous Interstate College Contest Oration, “Individualism in Society” by M. H. Lyon; “How It Really Was,” a humorous dialogue (4 characters); “Irish Molly,” new heroic historical poem; “Queen of the May,” introducing several characters; appropriate songs, recitations, etc. Several other fine selections.

=No. 10.= Contains selections for Washington’s Birthday, Thanksgiving and other holidays. This number is largely _humorous_, pieces by Robt. Burdette, Mark Twain, T. S. Denison, _Detroit Free Press_; Also “Auntie’s Courtship;” “The Bicycle Girl;” “The Facial Family;” “Presentation of the Trumpet;” etc.

“The selections are admirable.”—_Eli Perkins_ (_Melville E. Landon_).

=No. 11.= Full of new and good things; will be fully up to its predecessors. Contains Prize Contest Orations. SUPPLEMENT OF ORIGINAL SELECTIONS by W. H. Head, including: “He Laughed at Fire,” monologue for a man (very funny); “The Trials of a Columbian Guard;” humorous dialect recitation, “Dot New Song,” etc. Ready April 1, 1895.

=SOPER’S DIALECT READINGS.= Full of Fun—French, German, Negro, Scotch, Yankee, Chinese, Hoosier, Italian, Cockney and Yorkshire Dialects, 144 pages, 25 cts.

“Just the thing for those in search of recitations in dialects.”—_Popular Educator._

T. S. DENISON, Publisher,
163 Randolph Street, CHICAGO.