Chapter III: "fool Proof"

It will be remembered that it had been our intention to buy a cheap car. However, we did not, because Ruth decided that this would not be so economical as we had supposed! First, we looked at the smallest and cheapest car on the market. It was a two-cylinder, not much larger than a perambulator, and as noisy as a donkey-engine. The salesman said that for himself he did not care for one of those perfectly silent cars: "There is too much danger of accidents. You come upon people suddenly, before they have time to jump, and the first thing you know you have a ten-thousand-dollar suit on your hands. But with this car there is no such danger, for people have time to get out of the way before they are hurt." I must say this impressed me, but Ruth, who knows nothing of the dangers of driving, remarked that she did not think people would be much hurt if that car did hit them. "Besides," she added, "no conversation would be possible in such a car."

The man replied that there was not much chance in a car where you were blowing the Klaxon all the time. "And, now," he said, "let me give you a demonstration." To this we agreed, but as there was room for but one besides the driver, he suggested that I should try it first. So I chugged round the block while the demonstrator explained how many miles "she" would do on a gallon, and how little oil it took to lubricate "her." But when it came Ruth's turn, the engine stalled, and no power would move it. So we did not buy that one.

Well, we looked at many cars of many makes, but the cheap ones were uncomfortable, and the comfortable ones were too dear, and I was almost in despair, for the time was passing and I felt that I must have a little time to practise driving before starting on such a journey as we had planned. But a chance word decided me. We were looking at a "Frontenac." It was a most attractive-looking "runabout," and Ruth said it "fitted her back" better than any we had seen, and so, though the price was more than we had intended to pay, I saw she had set her heart upon it, and was asking myself if I could not economize somewhere else and let her have what she wanted, when the salesman, who of course was a mind-reader, remarked: "This is a new model. We built it because there was no car on the market built for a 'gentleman's' use. You see, no one with this car would need a chauffeur, though, as you may have noticed, there is a seat which folds up, so that if one wished to pick up a friend, or take a chauffeur for a special occasion, it could be done." Then he added, as if speaking to himself, while he laid his hand caressingly on the mud-guard: "What I like about this car is that she is practically 'FOOL PROOF.'" He had spoken the inevitable word. That was the kind of car I had been looking for! Then followed an explanation of the "self-starter"--"something found on no other car." I hesitated no longer. I paid the deposit and he said the car was mine. It was not cheap, but, as the testimonials say, "If I could not buy its mate I would not sell it for twice the amount I paid!"

One does not receive a car the day one pays for it. There are still many things to buy in the way of accessories, and as a result the car was not in my hands until the day before I was required to turn it over to the shipper. I therefore had time only to drive around the park three times before I was required to deliver the car at the dock.

I was glad to find that I did better alone than when profanity was being barked into my ear at every turn!

Of course I stalled several times through failure to "give her gas," but the self-starter had taken the sting out of that, and I drove back to the garage feeling that I was now prepared to risk the two most precious lives in the world with a fair margin of safety!