Chapter I

YE BOOK OF COPPERHEADS

By Anonymous

YE BOOK OF COPPERHEADS

"_ Continue this united League."--Richard the Third, III. 1_.

`|There once was a Copperhead snake tried to Bite Uncle Sam by mistake;

```But the Seven League Boot on old Uncle Sam's foot

````Soon crushed this pestiferous snake.

|A soldier came back from the war, with many an honorable scar;

```But the Copperheads cried, "Served you right if you'd died

````In this curst _Abolitionist_ war!"

|The old Tory dragon is dead, but she left us some eggs in her stead;

``Two were smashed in the yolk, but the third hatched and broke,

```And out came a vile Copperhead.

|There was once a young giant asleep, and round him two serpents did creep;

```But he stopped their vile breath, and squeezed them to death,

````This giant aroused from his sleep.

|There once was a Copperhead vile, who attempted to damage a

```So he tried it in truth, but soon broke every tooth

````On that rusty and crusty Old File.

"_Nor doth this Wood lack Worlds."--Midsummer Night's Dream, II. 2._

|There was an old Snake in New York said for peace all the people should work;

``"But if war _must_ come, let us fight here _at home!!_"

```Quoth sanguiloquent Ben of New York.

_"One of those who worship dirty gods."--Cymbeline, III. 8._

|There once was a chap named Vallandigham, whom the Copperheads chose for commanding 'em;

```But a trip to the South soon silenced his mouth,

````And the world as a _Tory_ is branding him.

|With War Democrats Seymour's for war; with Peace cowards for peace he'll hurrah;

```Let him get in the way of the mower some day,

````And He'll find there's no quibbling with war.

|The Copperhead lotterie hath a curious policie;

``For a man of low rank can draw naught save a blank,

````Unless an accomplice he be.

|There once was a twistified Reed who took for his pattern Snake-Weed;

```Till the Copperheads all, great, middling, and small

````Seemed _straight_ by the side of this Reed.

|There's a character very well known, Who bubbles for ages has blown;

```But the best he has made since at _bubbling_ he played,

````From a Copperhead pipe have been thrown.

````_"And what Stock he springs of!!"--Coriolan, II. 3._

|Copper stocks are uncertain to buy, though this Copperhead's stock's very high;

```But we still might improve this stock of his love,

````By adding the _right_ sort of tie.

|There was an old War Horse, a clerical, who thought our Republic chimerical;

```"For the Union," he said, "he never had prayed,"

````This mordacious old War Horse cholerical.

```_" There is no goodness in the worm,"--Antony and Cleopatra, V. 2._

|The abominable Copperhead worms! With their wriggles, and twists, and their squirms!

```But the gardener, they say, will soon find out a way

````To kill the vile Copperhead worms.

```_"There are many complaints, Davy, about that."--King Henry IV., V. 1._

|There was a Stern Statesman astute, who so often went in to _recruit_,

```That a Rattlesnake fat revolved in his hat,

````While a Copperhead squirmed in his boot.

```_"So much dishonor my fair stars."--King Richard 111., IV. 1._

|The traitor our Common Cents mars, And on Liberty plainly he wars,

```Taking Freedom away from the Union, I say,

````When he cuts out her head from the stars.

_"And so the lion vanished."--Midsummer Night's Dream, V. 1._

|While it did us great harm, Abolition was the height of the Lion's ambition;

```Now with Copperhead _tale_ he stings himself pale.

````And furaciously scorns Abolition.

```_"Will this Wood take fire?"--Merry Wives of Windsor, V. 5._

|Union, a fagot we take; But 'twould be a tremendous mistake,

```To use rotten old Wood which never was good,

````And then bind it up with a Snake.

|There once was a Patriot whose rigor reached such a remarkable figure,

```That he'd rather go down in the water and drown

````Than be saved by the help of a nigger.

|There once were some rascals near Reading thought fighting was easy as wedding;

```But being well kicked, and most terribly licked,

````They mournfully mizzled from Reading.

_"O wicked Wall!"--Midsummer Night's Dream, V. 1._

|There once was an old _party_-Wall, quite _cracked_ and just ready to fall;

```The Copperheads came and completed its shame

````By sticking their Bills on this Wall.

|There once was a bottle of Porter, which the Copperheads thought was all water;

```But when the cork popped, the Copperheads dropped,

````And were stunned by the _vim_ of the Porter!

|There once was a Snake who said "Hey! There's an Eagle I'll take for my prey!"

```But the bird with his bill did the Copperhead kill,

````And bore him in triumph away.

```_"Exit shall be strangling a snake."--Love's Labor's Lost, V. 1._

|The Copperhead traitors all, our army "base hirelings" call

```But some fine summer day The "boys," just for play,

````Will settle the Copperheads all.

Amen!

GOTHAM-MITES.

|I like such Brooks," said Falstaff once;

``Had he meant _ours_ he'd been a dunce;

`The devil, whom all things evil please,

``Could never stand such Bruoks as these.=

`In the Tyrol on mountain high

``"The Devil's Marble" you may spy;

`And if in the World you long remain,

``You'll probably meet the same again.=

`Och, Johnny, my gun--let the truth be aid,

``What the divil made _ye_ turn Copperhid?

`Sure it was hivvy what ye bore,

``Wid the brass in your face yees had before.=

`There's a song how Old Nick took a journey,

``With a corporation attorney;

`But there is one _fouler_, whom even the old prowler

``Would fear as a friend on a journey.=

1.

`"The man who made that order," said

``Judge B. in court, "was a _meat-head_."

`Oh what a head that head would be,

``Just _meted_ Judge, to match with thee!=

2.

`"Just roll that nigger out of court!"

``The Judge exclaimed with solemn port;

`"I tell you very truly now,

``Nigs _at the bar_ I won't allow!"=

`At a Copperhead meeting the crier

``Paused an instant to hear his gun fire;

`The cannon was loaded, and when it exploded,

``Said he--"List to the voice of our sire!"=

``There was old party named M------,

``Who went from bad doctrines to worse.

`If at law he should see his name prefaced by _re,_

``It will show what he _should_ feel; this M------.=

```There was a small Cozening shyster;

``Said he, "Every case is an _eyester;_

`Give the parties the shells if you can, and nought else,

``Unless the Court tips you a hi-ster."=

``There's a man at the _Bar_ who, we know,

``Is in politics terribly _low_;

`For he keeps in the clubs the secessional cubs,

``Who in _propria persona_ can't go.=

``There's a very bad-minis-trator,

``A_ très petite pomme de tater_,

`Who tears feelings to rags, presenting of flags;

``This oily old adminis-_traitor_.=

``There's a wide-awake Copperhead cratur',

``Who is Eli by name and by natur';

`Displaying for one neither fashion _nor ton_,

``This un-national nativist traitor.=

CHECKER-BOARDERS AND KEYSTONERS

|There was an old person, J. B.,

``An old Public Func-tion-arie; [agreed,

`When they swore, "We'll secede!" he just smiled, "I'm

``"You've a sure friend, you know, in J. B.=

``There was a smart lawyer named W------

``Who from Union men made quite a fortun';

`But his wealth he despised, with Secesh fraternized,

``This apo-state-olical W------.=

``There was a twistortulous Heed,

``Who hoped that Secesh might succeed;

`For he said, "It's my natur' to act like a traitor,

``Since it runs in the joints of a Heed."=

``There once was a Copperhead Diddle,

``Who played to the Heed second fiddle;

`When they said, "It is small!" it replied, not at all,

`Says he, "I ain't dead--as a live Copperhead

``I'm a squirmulous vermiform Wriggler."=

``There was an old servant called Peter,

``So moody in humor and feature

`Because the good people from the church with a steeple

``Expelled this old saturnine Peter.=

``There was a sharp lawyer, one P-,

``Whose thoughts never got through his still lips;

`And all he would say was "ah!" "h'm!" "oh!" and "ay

``This pauciloquent person named P-.=

``There was a neat sarpent--a Coiler--

``True son of the ancient Beguiler;

`Who told such a whopper, he burst out his copper,

``And frightfully fractured his biler.=

`It's a full-blooded Copperhead Diddle!"=

`There was an ex-governing Wiggler,

`A political huckster and higgler;

``Quoth "Aristocracy"

``To Fourth Ward "Vulgarity,"

`"You are dregs, I am froth; and our interests both

``Are opposed to this working, d'ye see!"=

MODERN HEATHEN-IANS

``There was an ex-editor, L------,

``Who rowed in the _Courier_ punt,

`But to twist around more, he jumped out on the shore,

``That contortious poetical L------.=

``Oh G------ T------ C------ was one

``Who thought himself quite a great gun;

`So Treason he shouted, "Constitution" he spouted,

``But Boston grew hot for such "Union Men"--so

``He herds in New York with Fernando & Co.=

``To the cause of his country adverse,

``Is the man whom all honest men curse.

`Do you ask what's his name? oh, ne'er believe Fame,

``If it be not Ex-President Pierce.=

``In Eighteen Hundred and Fifty-Six,

``A poet, disgusted with Pierce's tricks,

``Said that he down to the dust should go,

``To grovel there in infamy low.

``And in Eighteen Hundred and Sixty-Three,

``The prophecy came to pass, I see,

``Since in the dust and on the ground,

``As a Copperhead Pierce goes squirming round".=

``What a pity that Joshua D.

``A good Insolvency lawyer should be,

``Yet cannot, in politics, as we see,

``Keep his own good name from bankruptcie!=

``John C. passes, now and then,

``For one of Boston's League-al men.

``Mistake me not--he doth intrigue

``With the Liquor--not the Union--League!=

``Gamblers, Wood-ites, thieves, and asses,

``Scrapings of the dangerous classes,

``Pettifoggers malign, but weak,

``Who dare not fight and cannot speak;

``_Trash_ which the war-tide rolling high

``Has cast ashore in scorn to dry;

``"Aristocrats" who fear to wage

``Brave battle in a stirring age,

``As did their glorious sires before,

``Who won thereby the fame they wore;

``Oh G. S. H--------, tell us true.

``Is this fit company for you?=

SHAKSPEARE ON THE COPPERHEADS.

```"What would you have, you curs,

`That like nor peace nor war? The one affrights you,

`The other makes you proud. He that trusts to you,

`Where he should find you lions, finds you hares;

`Where foxes, geese; you are no surer, no,

`Than is the coal of fire upon the ice,

`Or hailstone in the sun. Your virtue is,

`To make him worthy whose offence subdues him,

`And curse that justice did it. Who deserves greatness

`Deserves your hate; and your affections are

`A sick man's appetite, who desires most that

`Which would increase his evil. He that depends

`Upon your favors swims with fins of lead,

`And hews down oaks with rushes."--_Coriolanus, I. 1._

"THOSE DEVOTED COPPERHEADS."

`"Our sympathies are all confined at home; yet it is just

`possible we may help those devoted Copperheads in the only

`way we know how--also, that they, on their side, are now

`about ripe to aid us in the only way we could accept their

`aid. If our troops should this summer appear within their

`borders anywhere between Cairo and Philadelphia, they would

`be hailed as friends by a population pretty well cured now of

`_Pluribus Unum_. Their cry would be, not Union, but deli-

`verance. _Wait then, and watch, and keep your lights burning,

`ye Knights of the Golden Circle!"--Richmond Enquirer_, 18th

`May, 1863.