Chapter VI: An Unwelcome Passenger

TOMINA looked rather relieved than otherwise at the interruption. Harry dashed to the door with a shout of welcome.

"I'm living with her now. Isn't she a pretty lady?"

"You're in luck's way, young man. Do you think you could make yourself scarce for a little?"

"Harry, run out into the kitchen and stay with Susan till I call you," Tomina said.

The child obeyed her.

Then Dr. Merton took a seat.

"Well, this isn't a professional visit to-day. I heard last night of your kind deed, and have come to ask what you mean to do?"

Tomina sat back in her chair and looked at him with laughing eyes.

"I really haven't the faintest idea what I mean to do. I live in the present, as you know. Please don't credit me with being a philanthropist, for it was just an impulse. He is an adorably pretty boy! And he began to talk so confidentially and quaintly to me that I thought he would amuse me for a day or two. What queer things children are! He seems so deeply, powerfully religious, if you know what I mean. I hear he is Mrs. Francis's 'protégé.' I suppose that accounts for it."

"I think it does. Eleanor Francis has a wonderful gift of influence, and a little child is so susceptible."

"He hardly seems like a villager's child. Has he any special history?"

"Yes. His grandmother, Mrs. Chugg, was once Mrs. Francis's nurse. She married the butler—a most superior man, and for some time kept one of the lodges on the Digbys' property. Her daughter was a very pretty, refined girl, and was very often at the Hall playing with the children there. She married very well, a rising young architect who did a good bit of business for the old squire. They went to London, and in three years' time, both died of scarlet fever, a virulent type—he took it first and she contracted it nursing him. Their little boy came back to live with his grandmother. That's his history.

"I don't think we shall let him go to the workhouse. If you are tired of him already, you had better hand him over to me. I am quite ready to give him a home for the present. Harry and I are old friends."

"I haven't said that I am tired of him. You are too fond of jumping to conclusions."

"Children want an infinite amount of patience and care," said Dr. Merton, looking at Tomina gravely; "are you very fond of them?"

"Not as a class, but if they are very pretty and amusing, I lose my heart to them. And Harry has a way with him. Oh, I dare say I had better hand him over to you. I fancy I might not be able to satisfy his requirements. I certainly am behind him in Biblical knowledge. I don't even possess a Bible of my own. I have one in town, I believe, but I never used it."

Tomina always had a perverse longing to shock Dr. Merton, but he never rose to her bait.

"You're improving in looks," he said. "Our country life suits you. How does the van work?"

Tomina's eyes sparkled. She spoke naturally now.

"I am getting to love it. The slow leisurely motion suits me. I think I have adapted myself very quickly to my—my banishment! I never thought that country people of the lower orders, could be so interesting. They're pathetic, and comic and tragic by turns. I listen to their talk and am learning a lot."

"I hear the carrier's van is a great success," said Dr. Merton, heartily.

"Well, we have only had two days of it as yet. I've had some funny experiences. The first day I took up a book pedlar, who preached me a sermon. He was rather a dear. I fancy I have tumbled into a nest of good people down here. When are you going to have your turn with me, Dr. Merton? I am sure you are longing to begin!"

"I want you to be healthy both in body and soul," responded Dr. Merton, gravely. "You will tell me your soul is none of my business, but I say that the soul affects the body, and as you have been trying to kill both, these few years, I am naturally anxious that you should learn the laws of health for both."

Tomina's eyes twinkled with mischief. She folded her hands in her lap.

"Please go on," she said.

"Oh, I am not going to preach. But I do think that every civilised Christian should own and read the Book that contains those laws."

"I suppose you mean the Bible, but I don't think that says much about our bodies, does it?"

"Doesn't it? You look and see. We have wandered from our point. How long do you want to keep Harry?"

Tomina did not reply. She was gazing out of the window somewhat wistfully.

The doctor longed to know her thoughts, but he waited in silence.

At last, she said—

"Do you really want him so much? I believe you are like me, though, of course, you wouldn't allow it for worlds! You have your lonely moments, when you get bored to death with yourself and your thoughts, and you seek distraction!"

Dr. Merton smiled.

"I hope the quiet simple life is not going to fail you."

"If it keeps quiet and simple it won't," said Tomina, emphatically. "But if fragments of the other world keep flying across my path, I shall, as the Americans would say, 'quit'!"

Then she smiled, and Tomina's smile made every one feel at once what a joyous thing life was.

"I came across rather a big fragment the other day," she continued, "but it went as quickly as it came, and as I'm determined to live in the present, I oughtn't to give it a thought."

Dr. Merton opened his mouth as if about to speak, then shut his lips determinedly.

"And Harry?"

"Oh, Harry. Leave him with me a little longer. Are you going to adopt him?"

"I have not thought of doing so; only I thought I would keep him till Mrs. Francis returns, and then we can talk over his future together."

"Poor little waif! Has he no relations on his father's side?"

"I am afraid not. But that will require investigation. Mrs. Francis knows about his belongings better than I do. I must be off. I am thankful to leave him in such good hands as yours, and if he proves too much for you, let me know at once."

Just as the doctor was going out at the door, he turned.

"By the way, somebody was asking after you the other day. A Colonel Norman, whose father has recently died. His mother lives about five miles off. I believe he is retiring from the service and going to look after the property."

"I used to know a Major Norman," said Tomina, indifferently, "but he is not a friend of mine."

The doctor went.

Tomina sat very still. An impertinent robin perched upon the window-sill and lifting up his head, looked at her saucily. Then there was a rush of small feet along the passage and he flew away.

"Susan is cooking me a fruit tart. She says I can pick up the snails in the ivy, and Thor could be made to draw your wheelbarrow, couldn't he? Oh! There's such lots to do! Do come on and help me."

Harry had got hold of her, and had dragged her out into the garden before she had time to protest.

For the rest of that day, Tomina gave herself over to childhood and to childhood's games.

When she was tired, she handed Harry over to Susan, who soon became his willing slave. He certainly kept them both lively, and however mischievous and restless by day, he was a little angel when bed-time came. Tomina was obliged to be always present during his prayers. She said to Susan one evening, when she came away from him—

"Do all children consider that the Almighty's sole occupation consists in watching over them and listening to every word that comes from their lips? Harry thinks that his concerns come first and foremost in the world to his Creator!"

"Ah well," said Susan, "'tis said, ma'am, 'of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.' They were very dear to our Lord, and 'twould be better for all of us if we were more like them!"

"I suppose it would," was Tomina's grave reply.

Carrier's day came round again. But it dawned in lashing showers of rain, which set in for a steady downpour when the time to start came.

Tomina had thought of taking Harry with her, but that was impossible now. She arrayed herself in her oilskins, and as she surveyed herself in her glass, she laughed aloud.

"I'm looking a genuine carrier now," she said to Susan.

"Well, ma'am, you're really very like a man in them things. But 'tis rough weather for you, all said and done!"

She had only four passengers to start with. Bill Short was, of course, in attendance, and she made up for the lack of passengers in the hampers and parcels which were packed in.

Rain and wind beat in their faces as they started. The whole country was obliterated by a grey driving mist. Tomina sat well back under the awning and drove. The four women snuggled together in the back of the van, and talked in low voices over the shortcomings of their families and the depression of trade. Everybody seemed out of spirits, including Bran, who plodded doggedly along, occasionally shaking his great mane when it became water-logged, and Thor, who tucked himself under the shelter of the van and held his tail well between his legs.

Presently, as they began to ascend a long steep hill, they overtook a pedestrian in mackintosh and slouch hat, well pulled down over his eyes. He hailed them as soon as he saw them, and climbed up into the front seat by the side of Tomina.

"A bad day for you," he said pleasantly.

Tomina turned in her seat and stared at him. There was no mistaking that voice. It was Colonel Norman again.

For an instant, Tomina wondered if she were recognised, but only for an instant. Then a swift furious colour rose in her cheeks, as she encountered his keen steady gaze.

"Why wouldn't you see me the other day? You might have known we should be bound to meet before long."

"I call this an impertinent intrusion," said Tomina, in icy tones.

"Surely not? Surely a carrier's van is open to any and all who can pay his fare? I am going to Damerton on business."

"Then you could have driven yourself."

"But I wanted to see you and have a talk with you, and this was my opportunity."

His tone was very determined.

Tomina was so dumfounded by the blow fate had dealt her that she was absolutely silent.

He continued after a pause.

"I heard of your disappearance from town, but I little thought I should find you in my own county. Is there any special reason for this masquerade? When I remember you in the old days, I can hardly reconcile—"

Then Tomina turned her head.

"The old days, as you call them, are dead and buried, and so is every one and everything associated with them."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I do."

"Thank Heaven! That leaves me a fair fresh field! Tomina, I am going to begin to court you again. I won't even attempt to explain away or apologise for the past. There is no past. You and I are in a new fresh world, the only man and woman in it so far as I am concerned. I felt an hour ago that the very heavens were weeping for our spoiled lives, and irrevocable mistakes, our pitiful failures of life with its glorious possibilities.

"Now what is the rain? It is washing and purging and beautifying all that has become besmirched with the dust of time. You and I are new creatures. We have evolved a fresh era, our future lies before us, to be made or marred according to our likings. We are at the beginning of our friendship."

Tomina received this burst of eloquence with a very slight and indifferent shrug of her pretty shoulders. Her back was almost turned upon him. Only Bran was conscious of an unusual and spasmodic tightening of his reins.

After a moment's silence, she spoke.

"You have twisted my words to suit yourself. If neither of us has a past, we are absolute strangers one to the other, and I intend that we remain as such. I never wish to know you, and no amount of effort on your part will make me do it. As a gentleman, and I believe you are one, you cannot force your presence upon me!"

"I can and will do anything to break down the barrier between us!"

There was a tense silence, then the Colonel spoke again.

"No, I am not going to play your game any more. Neither of us can forget the past; you think that you cannot forgive it. How long ago is it? It is eight years to-day since your head was lying on my shoulder, and we sealed our compact with our lips. I have never had but one woman in my life, and I never shall. I was hot-headed and jealous, I own. I was arbitrary where I ought to have been persuasive. You overheard something that you misconstrued, and I was too proud to exonerate myself. We both determined to put each other out of our lives.

"I've worked hard and allowed myself no time for thinking. Now I have retired, and isn't it a remarkable thing that every day since I have been home, your personality has haunted me? I never knew until I met you the other day that we were neighbours. Tomina, my heart still beats true for you; it has never wandered from you. Why should we pretend to be strangers? You know that we are not."

Tomina's face was stern and set. It was the woman who showed hardness and determination; the man's face was softened, and into his eyes had crept a pitying tenderness.

The top of the hill was reached. Without a word, she whipped up Bran more severely than was her wont. He broke into a sharp trot. The van swayed and creaked and groaned, and one could hardly hear oneself speak. The rain still lashed into their faces. Tomina began to wish for some fresh passengers. How could she endure six or seven miles more of Colonel Norman's company?

When they were once more forced to go slowly, she spoke—

"I came down to this part by doctor's orders. I have been very unwell, and I thought I had found peace and rest, and freedom from all that I have learnt to dislike. I do not intend that you shall spoil my life again. You did it once, and a 'burnt child dreads the fire.' I never will speak to you willingly again. Nothing that you can say or do will make me change my mind."

Then scorn and anger crept into her voice.

"You acknowledge that all these years you have never given me a thought! Why should you do so now? Your world always came first with you. It is only in your idle moments that you consider women to be useful to you. You forget that women now are not mere playthings for men."

"You were never a plaything in my eyes."

"No, perhaps I used the wrong word. It was on the subject of play that we differed so. You considered you had the right to withhold from me any pleasure that you deemed fit to condemn. Your will was always to come paramount. I was to be your obedient servant. And your straight-laced Pharisaical views of life were to be mine, you reminded me, when I became your wife. Thank Heaven, I escaped from such bondage. Did you think that my grudge against you was because you told your chum that the only chance for an undisciplined girl was for her to marry a man who could always master her?"

"That speech of mine was not in reference to you. I never had a chance to explain. Davis was working as a curate in the slums; we were talking about factory girls and their ways."

Tomina laughed scornfully.

"What does it matter now? I say that that was only an indication of your habit of thought. I was a young joyous-hearted girl in those days. I felt kindly disposed towards all my fellow-creatures. I could have been led, but never, never driven! You turned my gladness into bitterness. You made me hate all goodness and good people and religion in every shape and form. If I had cared enough, you would have driven me to the devil. You took my love, but you only wanted it to minister to your needs. I was to be your bird in a cage to sing to you, but my wings were to be clipped, and you would have gone on clipping and clipping till no feather was left!"

Tomina paused for breath. Her voice was low pitched; not one of the women in the van could hear what she said, but passion vibrated through every word.

Colonel Norman looked straight in front of him, and again there was a tense silence between them. Then he drew a long deep breath.

"I never knew a woman's love could turn into such hate!" he said. And clapping down a shilling on the wooden seat, he said curtly, "My fare," and swung himself down upon the muddy road. He raised his hat, and fell behind the van.

Tomina never looked out or noticed whether he trudged behind them for long. She only felt when she reached Damerton that she would give all she possessed to be able to creep into her bed at home and cry herself to sleep, so tired and weary, so utterly miserable was she!

But business had to be done, and her day had only just commenced. She had always had plenty of self-control, and it did not fail her now.

In the afternoon, the weather cleared. The return journey was made in sunshine, and every bush and tree seemed to lift up their heads to greet it.

"Jus' like our days," said old Mrs. Crabbe, who was somewhat of a philosopher; "we gets a reg'lar downpour o' trouble and set-backs, and then it all goes, and the sun comes out beter'n ever."

"Will the sun ever come out for me?" thought Tomina. "I am sure it will not."

Susan was not surprised when the next day came and found Tomina in bed with a racking head and high temperature. Even Harry's prattle had to be hushed.

"I always said she wouldn't be fit to stand rough weather," said Susan to herself. "She's got a chill and is going to be really ill. I shall send for the doctor, and he'll have to take away the child."