Chapter VIII: Act II: Scene I

(_A front scene. A poor hut or tent, the Princes are coming in slowly, some limping. They are in Wrenboys' clothes and the masks are in their hands_.)

_1st Prince_: This should be the hut where the Wrenboys told us to come.

_2nd Prince_: It is a poor looking place.

_3d Prince_: It is good to have any place to sit down in for a while. My back is aching.

_4th Prince_: My feet are all scratched and torn. There are blisters rising.

_5th Prince:_ I thought we would never come to the end of the road. The stones by the lake were so hard and so sharp.

_1st Prince_: It was a root of a tree I fell over that made these bruises on my knees. I was watching a hawk that was still and quiet up in the air, and when it made a swoop all of a sudden I stumbled and fell.

_2nd Prince_: It was in slipping where the rocks are high I gave this twist to my arm. I can hardly move it.

_3rd Prince_: But wasn't the sight of the sunset splendid over the lake? And the hills so blue!

_4th Prince_: I like the tall trees best. I tried to climb up one of them, but it was so smooth I did but slip and fall.

_1st Prince_: I would wish to walk as far as the hills, and to have a view of the ocean that is beyond.

_5th Prince_: I am hungry. I wonder where we will get our supper.

_4th Prince_: Not in this place, anyway, it must be making ready in some big guesthouse.

_3rd, Prince_: What will they give us, I wonder?

_2nd Prince_: I wish we had in our hand what they have ready for us at home.

_1st Prince_: What use would it be to us? Do you remember what we asked to be given, some jellies and a few grapes? It is not that much would satisfy me now.

_2nd Prince_: Indeed it would not. I never felt so sharp a hunger in my longest memory.

_3rd Prince_: It is roasted meat I would wish for.

_4th Prince_: There were pigeons in the tall trees. They will maybe give us a pigeon pie.

_5th Prince_: I would be content with a plate of minced turkey with poached eggs.

_1st Prince_: I would sooner have a roasted chicken, with bread sauce.

_2nd Prince_: Be quiet.... I think I hear someone coming! _(Looks out.)_

_3rd Prince: (Looking out.)_ I see him. He is not a right man ...he is very strange looking....

_4th Prince: (Looking out.)_ Oh! It is an Ogre! A Grugach!

_(All shrink back and hurriedly put on masks.)_

_Ogre: (Coming in: he wears a frightful mask, has red hair and a cloak of rough skins and carries a whip with many lashes_.) What makes ye late to-night, ye young schemers? What was it delayed ye? Lagging along the road.

_1st Prince_: We came as fast as we could. It was getting dusk in the wood.

_Ogre_: Dusk, good morrow to you! I'll dusk ye! I had a mind to go after ye and to change myself into the form of a wolf, and catch a hold of ye with my long sharp teeth!

_2nd Prince_: We did not know there was any great hurry.

_Ogre_: There is always hurry when you are on my messages. What did I bring you away from your own house for and put ye on the shaughraun for and keep ye wandering, if it was not to be serviceable and helpful to myself. Show me now what ye have in your pocket or your bag.

_3rd Prince_: This is all we got in the bag. (_Holds it out_.) It is but very little.

_Ogre_: (_Turning it out and counting it_.) Coppers! Silver! What is this? A piece of gold! Is that what ye call little? What notions ye have! Take care did ye keep any of it back! If ye did I'll skin ye with the lash of my cat-o'-nine-tails. (_Shakes it_.)

_4th Prince_: That is all we got. It should maybe pay for our supper in some place.

_Ogre_: What supper? To go buy supper with my money! It will go to add to my store of treasure in the cave that is under ground.

_5th Prince_: We are hungry, very hungry. When will the supper be ready?

_Ogre_: It will be ready whenever ye will ready it for yourselves. Ye should know that by this time.

_1st Prince_: We would make it ready if we were acquainted with the way.

_Ogre_: It is gone cracked ye are? What is it ye are thinking to get for your supper? What ailed ye that ye didn't climb a tree and suck a few pigeon's eggs?

_2nd Prince_: We were thinking of a pigeon pie.

_Ogre_: A what!!!

_2nd Prince_: A pigeon pie.

_Ogre_: Hurry on then making your pigeon pie! There are pigeons enough there in the corner, that a hawk that is my carrier brought me in a while ago. And there's a pike that was in the lake these hundred years, an otter is after leaving at my door.

_3rd Prince_: (_Taking a pigeon_.) I don't think this is a right pigeon.

_4th Prince_: Pigeons in a pie are not the pigeons that have feathers.

_5th Prince_: (_To Ogre_.) Please, sir, where can we find pigeons without feathers, that are trussed on a silver skewer?

_Ogre_: Aye? What's that?

_1st Prince_: Never mind. You'll anger him. Maybe we can pull the feathers off these. I have read of plucking a pigeon in our books. (_They begin to pluck_.)

_2nd Prince_: It is very hard work.

_3rd Prince_: I never knew feathers could stick in so hard.

_4th Prince_: The more we pull out the more there would seem to be left.

_5th Prince_: It will be a feather pie we will be getting in the end.

_1st Prince_: (_Throwing it down_.) It is no use. We might work at it to-day and to-morrow and be no nearer to a finish.

_2nd Prince_: The pike might be better.

_3rd Prince_: It has no feathers anyway.

_4th Prince_: (_Touching it_.) It is raw and bleeding!

_5th Prince_: We might roast it.

_1st Prince_: The fire is black out.

_2nd Prince_: I wonder what way can we kindle it?

_3rd Prince_: Better ask him. (_Points to Ogre_.)

_2nd Prince_: Please, sir, what way can we kindle the fire?

_Ogre_: What!

_4th Prince_: We would wish to light the fire.

_Ogre_: Well, do so.

_5th Prince_: If we had a box of matches....

_Ogre_: Matches! What are you talking about? Matches won't be invented for the next seven hundred years.

_1st Prince_: What can we do then, we are starving with hunger.

_Ogre_: Let ye blow a breath upon a coal under the ashes, and bring in small sticks from the wood.

_2nd Prince_: (_Blowing_.) The ashes are choking me.

_Ogre_: Very good. Then you'll put no delay on me, waiting till you'll cook your supper.

_3rd Prince_: Where can we get it then?

_Ogre_: You'll go without it, as you were too helpless to catch it, or to dress it, there's no one will force you to eat it.

_4th Prince_: If there is nothing for us to eat we had best pass the time in sleep.

_5th Prince_: I am all covered with ashes and dirt. (_To Ogre_.) Please, where can I find a towel and a piece of soap?

_Ogre_: Soap! Is it bewitched ye are or demented in the head? Did ever anyone hear of soap unless of a Saturday night? Letting on to be as dainty and as useless as those young princes beyond, that are kept closed up in a tower of glass. Come on now. If there is no food that suits you, leave it. It is time for us to get to work.

_1st Prince_: But it is bed-time.

_Ogre_: Your bed-time is the time when I have no more use for you. Don't you know I have made a plan? What was it I sent you for, spying out that place of the young princes? Wasn't it to see where is it that treasure is kept, the golden-handled sword of Justice that is used by the Guardian when he turns Judge.

_2nd Prince_: That is kept in the Courthouse.

_Ogre_: That's right ...in what part of it?

_3rd Prince_: What do you want it for?

_Ogre_: I have it in my mind this long time to get and to keep it in my cave under ground, along with the rest of my treasures that are in charge of my two enchanted cats. I have had near enough of grubbing for gold with a pick in the clefts and crannies of the earth. It is time for me to find some rest, and get into my hand what is ready worked and smelted and purified. We are going to that Courthouse to-night. If we cannot get in at the door, I will put ye in at the window and ye can open the door to myself. I will find out where the sword is, and away with us, and it in my hand.

_4th Prince_: But that would be stealing.

_Ogre_: What else would it be?

_4th Prince_: But that is wrong. It is against the law.

_Ogre_: The law! That is the Judge's trade. Breaking it is mine.

_5th Prince_: Ask him for it and maybe he will give it to you, he is so kind.

_Ogre_: I'll take no charity! What I get I'll earn by taking it. I would feel no pleasure it being given to me, any more than a huntsman would take pleasure being made a present of a dead fox, in place of getting a run across country after it. Come on now! We'll have the moon wasted. We'll hardly get there before the dawn of day.

_1st Prince_: Whatever time you get there the Guardian will be awake. There is a cock of Denmark perched on the curtain rod of his bed, specially to waken him if there is any stir.

_Ogre_: There is, is there? What a fool you think me to be. Do you see that pot?

_2nd Prince_: We do see it.

_Ogre_: Look what there is in it.

_3rd Prince_: Nothing but a few bare bones.

_Ogre_: Well, that is all that is left of the Judge's cock of Denmark, that was brought to me awhile ago by a fox that is my messenger, and that I have boiled and ate and devoured.

_All the Princes_: O! O! O!

_Ogre_: (_Cracking his whip_.) He was boiled in the little pot. Come on now and lead the way, or I give you my word it is in the big pot your own bones will be making broth for my breakfast in the morning! (_Cracks whip_.) Now, right about face! Quick march!

CURTAIN

SCENE II

_(The Winter Garden, evening. The Servant settling benches and a table.)_

_Guardian: (Coming in.)_ Are the Dowager Messengers come? They are late.

_Servant:_ They are come. They are at the looking-glasses settling themselves.

_Guardian:_ As soon as they are ready you will call in the Princes for their examination before them, and their tasks.

_Servant:_ I will.

_Guardian:_ The Messengers will have a good report to bring back of them. They have come to be good scholars, in poetry, in music, in languages, in history, in numbers and all sorts. The old Queen-Godmother will be well satisfied with their report.

_Servant:_ She might and she might not.

_Guardian:_ They would be hard to please if they are not well pleased with the lads, as to learning and as to manners and behaviour.

_Servant:_ Maybe so. Maybe so. There are strange things in the world.

_Guardian:_ You're in bad humour, my poor Gillie. Have you been quarrelling with the cook, or did you get up on the wrong side of your bed?

_Servant:_ There is times when it is hard not to be in a bad humour.

_Guardian:_ What are you grumbling and hinting at?

_Servant:_ There's times when it's hard to believe that witchcraft is gone out of the world.

_Guardian:_ That is a thing that has been done away with in this Island through my government, and through enlightenment and through learning.

_Servant:_ Maybe so. Maybe so.

_Guardian:_ I suppose a three-legged chicken has come out of the shell, or a magpie has come before you in your path? Or maybe some token in the stars?

_Servant:_ It would take more than that to put me astray.

_Guardian:_ Whatever it is you had best tell it out.

_Servant:_ To see lads of princes, sons of kings, and the makings of kings, that were mannerly and well behaved and as civil as a child a few hours ago, to be sitting in a corner at one time as if in dread of the light, and tricking and fooling and grabbing at other times.

_Guardian:_ Oh, is that all! The poor lads. They're out of their habits because of their Godmother's Messengers coming. They are making merry and funning, thinking there might be messages for them or presents.

_Servant:_ Funning is natural. But blowing their nose with their fingers is not natural.

_Guardian:_ High spirits. Just to torment you in their joy.

_Servant:_ To get a bit of chalk, and to make marks in the Hall of dancing, and to go playing hop-scotch.

_Guardian:_ High spirits, high spirits! I never saw boys better behaved or more gentle or with more sweetness of speech. I am thinking there is not one among them but will earn the name of Honey-mouth.

_Servant:_ Have it your own way. But is it a natural thing, I am asking, for the finger nails to make great growth in one day?

_Guardian:_ Stop, stop, be quiet. Here now are the Dowager Messengers. _(Two old ladies in travelling costume appear; bowing low to them.)_ You are welcome for the sake of her that sent you, and for your own sakes.

_1st Dowager Messenger:_ We are come from the Court of the Godmother Queen, for news of the Princes now in your charge;

She hopes they have manners, are minded well, and never let run at large;

For she never has yet got over the fret, of their five little cousins were swept away.

_Guardian:_ Let your mind be at ease, for you'll be well pleased with the youngsters you're going to see to-day.

They're learning the laws to speak and to pause--may be orators then, or Parliament men.

_2nd Dowager Messenger:_ Are they shielded from harm?

_Guardian:_

In my sheltering arm; Do their work and their play in a mannerly way And go holding their nose, and tipped on their toes, If they pass through a street, that they'll not soil their feet.

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: And next to good manners and next to good looks ...

_Guardian_: I know what you'll say ...she asks news of the cooks; I'm with her in putting them equal to books; There's some rule by coaxing and some rule by beating, But my principle is, tempt them on with good eating. When everything's said, isn't Sparta as dead As many a place never heard of black bread? And as to a lad who a tartlet refuses,-- If Cato stewed parsnips he hated the Muses!

_1st Dowager Messenger_: And at meals are they taught to behave as they ought?

_Guardian_: You'll be well satisfied and the Queen will have pride, You will see every Prince use a fork with his mince, And eating his peas like Alcibiades, Who would sooner go mute than play on the flute Lest it made him grimace and contorted his face.

_1st Dowager Messenger_: Oh, all that you say delights us to-day!

We'll have good news to bring of these sons of a king.

_Servant_: Here they are now coming.

(_Wrenboys in Princes' clothes come in awkwardly_.)

_Guardian_: Now put out a chair. Where these ladies may hear. Come over, my boys ...(Now what is that noise?) Come here, take your places, and show us your faces, And say out your task as these ladies will ask. I would wish them to know how you say _Parlez-vous_, And I'd like you to speak in original Greek And make numeration, and add up valuation; But to lead you with ease and on by degrees In case you are shy in the visitors' eye I will let you recite, as you easily might, The kings of that Island that no longer are silent But ask recognition and to take a position-- (Though if stories are true they ran about blue, While we in Hy-Brasil wore our silks to a frazzle--) So the rhymes you may say that I heard you to-day; And the opening will fall on the youngest of all.

_Servant:_ Let you stand up now and do as you are bid. _(Touches 5th Wrenboy_.)

_Guardian:_ Go on, my child, say out your lesson. William the First as the Conqueror known.... _(Boy puts finger in mouth and hangs his head.)_ Ah, he is shy. Don't be affrighted, go on now; don't you remember it?

_5th Wrenboy:_ I do not.

_Guardian:_ Try it again now. You said it off quite well this morning.

_5th Wrenboy:_ It fails me.

_Guardian:_ Now I will give you a start: "William the First as the Conqueror known, At the Battle of Hastings ascended the throne ..." Say that now.

_5th Wrenboy: (Nudging 4th.)_ Let you word it.

_4th Wrenboy: (To Guardian.)_ Let you word it again, sir.

_Guardian_: "William the First as the Conqueror known."

_4th Wrenboy_: William the First as the congereel known....

_Guardian_: What is that? You would not do it to vex me! Gillie is maybe right. There is something strange.... (_To another_.) You may try now. Go on to the next verse. "William called Rufus from having red hair." ..._(He does not answer_.) Say it anyone who knows....

_3rd Wrenboy: (Putting up his hand_.) I know a man that has red hair!

_All the Wrenboys: (Cheerfully)_ So do I! So do I!

_2nd Wrenboy_: He lives in the wood beyond! He is no way good! He is an Ogre, a Grugach....

_1st Wrenboy_: He can turn himself into the shape of a beast, or he can change his face at any time; sometimes he'll be that wicked you would think he was a wolf; he would skin you with his cat-o'-nine-tails!

_Guardian_: What gibberish are you talking?

_2nd Wrenboy_: He goes working underground to get gold!

_3rd Wrenboy_: It is minded by enchanted cats!

_4th Wrenboy_: They would tear in bits anyone that would find it!

_Guardian_: Now take care, lads, this is carrying a joke too far. I was wrong to begin with that silly history. Tell me out now the parts of speech.

"A noun's the name of anything
As school or garden, hoop or swing."

_5th Wrenboy_: An owl's the name of anything....

_Guardian_: A _noun_.

_5th Wrenboy_: An _owl_.

_Guardian_: Don't pretend you don't know it.

_5th Wrenboy_: I do know it. I know an owl that sits in the cleft of the hollow sycamore and eats its fill of mice, till it can hardly put a stir out of itself.

_Guardian_: I do wish you would stop talking nonsense.

_1st Wrenboy_: It is not, but sense. It devoured ere yesterday a whole fleet of young rats.

_2nd Wrenboy_: It's as wise as King Solomon.

_Guardian_: Gillie was right. There is surely something gone wrong in their heads.

_2nd Wrenboy_: Go out yourself and you'll see are we wrong in the head! Inside in the old sycamore he is sitting through the daylight.

_1st Dowager Messenger_: There is something gone wrong in _somebody's_ head.

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: (_Tapping her forehead_.) The poor Guardian; he is too long past his youth. It is well we came to look how things were going before it is too late.

_1st Dowager Messenger_: Ask them to say something they _do_ know.

_Guardian_: Here, you're good at arithmetic, say now your numbers.

_1st Wrenboy_: Twelve coppers make a shilling. I never handled more than that.

_Guardian_: (_Angrily_.) Well, do as the lady said, tell us something you _do_ know.

_2nd Wrenboy_: (_Standing up, excited_.) I know the way to make bird-lime, steeping willow rods in the stream....

_3rd Wrenboy_: I know how to use my fists; I knocked a tinker bigger than myself.

_4th Wrenboy_: I am the best at wrestling. I knocked _him_self. (_Pointing at 3rd_.)

_5th Wrenboy_: I that can skin a fawn after catching him running!

_2nd Dowager Messenger_. Where now did you get that learning?

_5th Wrenboy_: Here and there, rambling the woods, sleeping out at night. I would never starve in any place where grass grows!

_1st Dowager Messenger_: This is worse than neglect. The poor old Guardian the Queen put her trust in must be in his dotage.

_Guardian_: (_Hastily_.) Here, there is at least one thing you will not fail in. Take the harp (_hands it to the 1st Wrenboy_) and draw out of it sweet sounds, (_To Dowager Messengers_.) He can play a tune so sweet it has been known to send all the hearers into a sound sleep. Here now, touch the strings with all your skill.

(_1st Wrenboy bangs harp, making a crash_.)

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: (_With hands to ears_.) Mercy! Our poor ears!

_1st Dowager Messenger_: That is the poorest music we have ever heard.

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: That sound would send no one into their sleep. It would be more likely to send them into Bedlam.

_1st Dowager Messenger_: Whatever they knew last year, they have forgotten it all now.

_Guardian_: (_Weeping into his handkerchief_.) I don't know what has come upon them! At noon they were the most charming lads in the whole world. Their memory seems to have left them!

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: It is as if another memory had come to them. They did not learn those wild tricks shut up in the garden.

_Servant: (To Boys_.) Can't ye behave nice and not ugly? _(To Guardian_.) You would not believe me a while ago. I said and I say still there is enchantment on them, and spells.

_Guardian_: Oh, I would be sorry to think such a thing. But they never went on this way in their greenest youth.

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: If there is a spell upon them what way can it be taken off?

_Servant_: It is what I always heard, that to make a rod of iron red in the fire, and to burn the enchantment out of them is the only way.

_Guardian_: Oh, boys, do you hear that! You would not like to be burned with a red hot rod! Say out now what at all is the matter with you? What is it you feel within you that is putting you from your gentle ways?

_1st Wrenboy_: The thing that I feel in me is hunger. The thing I would wish to feel inside me is a good fistful of food.

_1st Dowager Messenger_: They have been starved and stinted! It would kill their Godmother on the moment if she was aware of that!

_Guardian_: It is a part of their playgame. They have everything they ask.

_2nd Wrenboy: I_ did not eat a farthing's worth since yesterday.

_3rd Wrenboy_: My teeth are rusty with the want of food!

_4th Wrenboy_: I want some dinner!

_5th Wrenboy_: We want something to eat!

_Guardian_: Give them whatever you have ready for them, Gillie.

_Servant: (Giving the plates.)_ Here is the supper ye gave orders for this morning.

_1st Wrenboy_: What is it at all?

_Servant_: It is your choice thing. Jellies and grapes from Spain.

_2nd Wrenboy: (Pushing away grapes)_ Berries! I thought to get better than berries from the bush.

_3rd Wrenboy_: There's not much satisfaction in berries!

_4th Wrenboy_: If it was a pig's foot now; or as much as a potato with a bit of dripping.

_5th Wrenboy: (Looking at jelly.)_ What now is this? It has like the appearance of frog spawn.

_1st Wrenboy_; Or the leavings of a fallen star.

_5th Wrenboy_: Shivering it is and shaking. It's not natural! (_Drops his plate_.)

_4th Wrenboy_: There is nothing here to satisfy our need.

_2nd. Dowager Messenger:_ I am nearly sorry for them, poor youngsters. When they were but little toddlers they never behaved like that at home.

_3rd Wrenboy_: It's the starvingest place ever I was in!

_1st Dowager Messenger_: There must be something in what they say. They would not ask for food if they were not in need of it. And the Guardian making so much talk about his table and his cooks. We cannot go home and report that they have no learning and no food.

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: As to learning I don't mind. But as to food, I would not wish to leave them without it for the night. They might be as small as cats in the morning.

_Guardian_: They are dreaming when they say they are in want of food.

_1st Dowager Messenger_: It is a dream that will waken up their Godmother.

_Servant_: Look, ma'am, at the table behind you, and you will see is this a scarce house! That is what is set out for yourselves, ma'am, lobsters from Aughanish! A fat turkey from the barley gardens! A spiced and larded sucking pig! Cakes and sweets and all sorts! It is not the want of provision was ever brought against us up to this!

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: If all this is for us, we would sooner give it up to those poor children.

(_To Wrenboys_.) Here, my dears, we will not eat while you are in want of food. We will give it all to you.

_1st Wrenboy_: Is it that we can have what is on that table?

_2nd Dowager Messenger_: You may, and welcome.

_1st Wrenboy: (With a shout.)_ Do you hear that news! Come on now. Take your chance! I'll have the first start! Skib scab! Hip, hip, hooray!

(_They rush at table and upset it, flinging themselves on the food_)

CURTAIN

ACT III