Chapter XV: Letter VI: To Mr. J. T

_My dear worthy Friend_,

YOUR letter, though full of complaints about the state of your heart, was very much according to my mind, and gives me great hopes that God will carry on the good work he has begun in you, and lead you by his Holy Spirit through all those difficulties, under which you at present labour.

The desire that you have to be better than you find yourself at present, is God’s call, and will make itself to be more heard within you, if you give but way to it, and reverence it as such, humbly believing that he that calls, will, and only can help you to pay right and full obedience to it.

You seem to yourself to be all _infatuation and stupidity_, because your head and your heart are so contrary, the one delighting in heavenly notions, the other governed by earthly passions and pursuits. It is happy for you, that you know and acknowledge this: for only through this truth, through the full and deep perception of it, can you have any entrance, or so much as the beginning of an entrance into the liberty of the children of God. God is in this respect dealing with you, as he does with those, whose darkness is to be changed into light. Which can never be done, till you fully know 1. the real badness of your own heart, and 2. your utter inability to deliver yourself from it, by any sense or power of your own.

And was you in a better state, as to your own thinking, the matter would be worse with you. For the badness in your heart, though you had no sensibility of it, would still be there, and would only be concealed to your much greater hurt. For there it certainly is, whether it be seen and found, or not, and sooner or later, must shew itself in its full deformity, or the old man will never die the death which must be undergone, before the new man can be formed in us.

All that you complain of in your heart is common to man, as man. There is no heart that is without it. And this is the one ground, why every man, as such, however different in temper, complexion, or natural endowments from others, has one and the same reason, and absolute necessity of being born again.

Flesh and blood, and the spirit of this world, govern every spring in the heart of the natural man. And therefore you can never enough adore the ray of divine light, which breaking in upon your darkness, has discovered this to be the state of your heart, and raised even those faint wishes you feel to be delivered from it.

For faint as they are, they as certainly proceed from the goodness of God working in your soul, as the first dawning of the morning is wrought by the same sun, which helps us to the noon-day light. Firmly, therefore believe this, as a certain truth, that the present sensibility of your incapacity for goodness, is to be cherished as a heavenly seed, as the blessed work of God in your soul.

Could you like any thing in your own heart, or fancy any good to be in it, or believe that you had any power of your own to embrace the following truth, this comfortable opinion, would be your turning away from God and all goodness, and building iron walls of separation betwixt God and your soul.

For conversion to God, only then begins to be in _truth_, when we see nothing that can give us the least degree of hope, of trust, or comfort in any thing, that we are of ourselves.

To see vanity of vanities in all outward things, to loath and abhor certain sins, is indeed something, but yet as nothing in comparison of seeing and believing the vanity of vanities within us, and ourselves as unable to take one single step in true goodness, as to add one cubit to our stature.

Under this conviction, the gate of life is opened to us. And therefore it is, that all the preparatory parts of religion, all the various proceedings of God either over our _inward_, or _outward_ state, setting up and pulling down, giving, and taking away, light and darkness, comfort and distress, are for this only end, to bring us to this conviction, that all that can be called _life_, _good_, and _happiness_, is to come solely from God, and not the smallest spark of it from ourselves. When man was first created, all the good that he had in him was from God alone. This must be the state of man for ever.――From the beginning of time through all eternity, the creature can have no goodness, but that which God creates in it.

Our first goodness is lost, because our first father departed from a full, absolute dependance upon God. For a full, continual, unwavering dependance upon God, is that alone which keeps God in the creature, and the creature in God.

Our lost goodness can never come again, till by a power from Christ, we are brought out of ourselves, into that full and blessed dependance upon God, in which our first father should have lived.

What room now, my dear friend, for complaint at the sight, sense, and feeling of your inability to make yourself better? Did you want _this sense_, every part of your religion would only have the nature and vanity of idolatry. For you cannot come unto God, you cannot believe in him, you cannot worship him in spirit and truth, till he is regarded as the _only giver_, and you yourself as nothing else but the receiver of every heavenly good, that can possibly be in you.

God must for ever be God alone; heaven, and the heavenly nature are his, and must for ever be received only from him, and preserved, by an entire dependance upon, and trust in him. Now as all the religion of fallen man, fallen from God into himself, and the spirit of this world, has no other end, but to bring us back to an _entire dependance_ upon God; so we may justly say, Blessed is that light, happy is that conviction, which brings us into a full and settled despair, of ever having the least good from ourselves.

Then we are truly brought, and laid at the gate of mercy: at which gate, no soul ever did, or can lie in vain.

A broken and contrite heart God will not despise. That is, God will not pass by, overlook, or disregard it. But the heart is then only broken and contrite, when all its strong holds are broken down, and false coverings taken off, and it sees, with inwardly opened eyes, every thing to be bad, false, and rotten, that does, or can proceed from it as its own.

But you will perhaps, say, that _your conviction_ is only an uneasy sensibility of your own state, and has not the goodness of a broken and contrite heart in it.

Let it be so, yet it is right in order to it, and it can only begin, as it begins at present. Your conviction is certainly not full and perfect; for if it was, you would patiently expect, and look for help from God alone.

But whatever is wanting in your conviction, be it what it will, it cannot be added by yourself, nor come any other way, than as the highest degree of the divine life can come.

Know therefore your want of this, as of all other goodness. But know also at the same time, that it cannot be had through your own _willing_ and _running_, but through God that sheweth mercy; that is to say, through God who giveth us Jesus Christ. For Jesus Christ is the _one only mercy_ of God to all the fallen world.

Now if all the mercy of God is only to be found in Christ, if he alone can save us from our sins; if he alone has power to heal all our infirmities, and restore original righteousness, what room for any other pains, labour, or enquiry, but _where_ and _how_ Christ is to be found.

*It matters not what our evils are, deadness, blindness, infatuation, hardness of heart, covetousness, wrath, pride, and ambition, our remedy is always one and the same, always at hand, always certain and infallible. Seven devils are as easily cast out by Christ as one. He came into the world, not to save from this, or that disorder, but to destroy all the power and works of the devil in man.

If you ask _where_, and _how_ Christ is to be found? I answer, in your heart, and no where else.

Hear him, reverence him, submit to him as a discoverer and reprover of sin. Own his power and presence in the feeling of your guilt, and then he that wounded, will heal, he that found out the sin, will take it away, and he who shewed you your _den of thieves_, will turn it into a holy temple of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

And now, Sir, you may see, that your doubt whether your will was _really free, or not_, was groundless.

You have no freedom, or power of will, to assume any holy temper, or take hold of such degrees of goodness, as you have a mind to. For nothing is, or ever can be goodness in you, but the one _life_, _light_, and _spirit_ of Christ, revealed, and formed in your soul. Christ in us, is our only goodness, as Christ in us, is our hope of glory. But Christ in us is the pure free gift of God to us.

But you have a freedom of will, either to give up your helpless self, to the operation of God on your soul, or to rely upon your own _rational_ industry, and _natural_ strength of mind. This is the freedom in first setting out, which no man wants, or can want so long as he is in the body.

If therefore you have not that which you want to have of God, or are not that which you ought to be in Christ Jesus, it is not because you have no free power of leaving yourself in the hands, and under the operation of God, but because the same freedom of your will, seeks for help where it cannot ♦be had, namely, in some strength of your own.

♦ “he” replaced with “be”

When this freedom of the will wholly _leaves_ itself to God, saying, _not mine, but thy will be done_, then it hath that, which it willeth. The will of God is done in it. It is in God. It hath divine power. It worketh with God, and by God, and comes at length to be _that faith_, which can remove mountains; and nothing is too hard for it.

And now, my dear friend, let me tell you, that as here lies all the real freedom, which cannot be taken from you, so in the constant exercise of this freedom, that is, in a continual leaving yourself to, and depending upon the operation of God in your soul, lies all your road to heaven. No divine virtue can be had any other way.

All the excellency and power of faith, hope, love, patience, and resignation, have no other root but this _free, full leaving_ of yourself to God, and are only so many different expressions of your willing nothing, seeking nothing, trusting to nothing, but the _life-giving power_ of his holy presence in your soul.

To sum up all in a word. Wait patiently, trust humbly, depend only upon, seek solely to a God of light and love, of mercy and goodness, of glory and majesty, dwelling in your heart by faith. There you have the invisible upholder of all the creation, whose blessed operation will always be found by a humble, faithful, loving, calm, patient introversion of your heart to him, which will open itself to you, as soon as your heart is left wholly to his eternal ever-speaking word, and ever-sanctifying Spirit.

Beware of the eagerness of your own natural temper. Run not in any hasty ways of your own. Be patient under the sense of your own vanity and weakness; and patiently wait for God to do his own work in his own way. For you can go no faster than a full dependance upon God can carry you.

You will perhaps say, Am I then to be idle, and do nothing towards the salvation of my soul? No, you must by no means be idle, be but earnestly diligent, according to your measure, in all good works, which the law and the gospel direct you to, both with regard to yourself, and other people.

Outward good works to other people, may be justly considered as God’s errand on which you are sent, and therefore to be done faithfully, according to the will, and in obedience to him that sent you.

But nothing that you do, is in its proper state, or reaches its true end, till you do not depend upon any _doing_ that which is good, but by Christ, the wisdom and power of God. I caution you only against all eagerness of spirit, so far as it leads you to seek, and trust to something that is not God.

I recommend to you stillness, calmness, patience, not to make you lifeless, and indifferent about good works, or indeed with any regard to them, but solely with regard to your faith, that it may have its proper soil to grow in, and because all eagerness, restlessness, haste, and impatience, either with regard to God, or ourselves, are not only great hindrances, but real defects of our faith and dependance upon God.

Lastly, Be courageous, and full of hope, not by looking at any strength of your own; no, this will only help you to find more and more defects and weakness in yourself; but be courageous in faith, and hope, and dependance upon God. And be assured, that the one infallible way to all that is good, is never to be weary in waiting, trusting, and depending upon God manifested in Christ Jesus.

_I am your hearty friend and well-wisher._

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