Chapter III: Act III

SCENE I: _Night. Fog. The bank of one of the Petrograd canals.
Lanterns are seen in the distance. A cast iron gate is seen
distinctly in the foreground. Beyond it, the canal and the
other side are enveloped in darkness, and enormous houses are
outlined faintly in the background. Lights are seen in some of
the windows here and there—the lights are faint and motionless
like yellow spots._

_HENRY TILE and FEKLUSHA are standing and talking, half leaning
against the gate. Henry is smoking a cigar._

HENRY

You are drunk, Feklusha, you are absolutely drunk. Your eyes are green. Come.

FEKLUSHA

I won’t.

HENRY

Shall I call a cab? Then you won’t have to drag your feet.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want to.

HENRY

I’ll give you some more cognac.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want any. You’re drunk yourself. I don’t want to go to your apartment—leave me alone. I don’t want to!

HENRY

Don’t yell.

FEKLUSHA

I’m not yelling.

_Pause._

Let me go, Henry. I will go down on my knees before you, if you like. I will go down on my knees before you, but let me go, or I will shout again.

HENRY

Alexandrov!

FEKLUSHA

I won’t. Why did you take me along?

_Cries._

I was hiding, but you found me—I can’t bear it any more. I don’t want to go to that tavern any more. I don’t want your cognac, I want to go home—my wife is waiting for me.

HENRY

You are drunk. Don’t cry, it’s foolish. Listen, have you forgotten what you wanted to do? Try to recall! Recall! You were planning to betray me when I run away with the money—in order to get one third. That would make you rich—rich! Recall!

FEKLUSHA

Well, I wanted to do it, but now I don’t want to do it. I was driven insane by your maps; I began to feel like a bloodhound. I was running and running, without knowing where I was running. The day I met you on the Nevsky was cursed—I felt happy—I had found an old friend!

HENRY

Yes, that day was cursed. You express yourself precisely. Come to my house, come; it will be very nice there. Have you forgotten? We will light all the lamps, I will get some cognac.

FEKLUSHA

I won’t go. That’s my last word, Mr. Tile.

HENRY

Call me Henry.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want to. Either you run away with your million or—to the devil with it all! To the devil!

HENRY

Very well, I’ll run away. Have another drink, it’s cognac.

FEKLUSHA

Where did you get it?

_Drinks from the bottle._

Very good. And you?

HENRY

I’ll have a drink, too.

_Drinks._

FEKLUSHA

_Laughs._

Fine comrades! The people of your bank should see you now—how funny! By God!

HENRY

_Laughs softly._

They are sleeping, and they see in their dreams that Henry Tile is busy with his arithmetic. While Henry Tile is drinking cognac with Feklusha.

_Both laugh, swaying._

FEKLUSHA

Where are we? I don’t know this place. Where are we, Henry?

HENRY

This is the Catherine Canal. And that is the fog—and there is the water. Do you want to spit into the water?

FEKLUSHA

I do.

_Spits._

And what is that?

HENRY

Those are the lighted windows of the houses on the other side. Someone is awake.

FEKLUSHA

And I thought only we were awake. Haven’t you any more cognac? I would drink some more. I feel cold.

HENRY

Come to my apartment, and I’ll give you more. There is a little round table, and on the table are cognac and punch. Are you fond of punch?

FEKLUSHA

_Still obstinate, but weakening_,

I won’t go. Either you run away right now, or—! Why don’t you run away? What sort of a thief are you? Upon my word of honor! I’ll throw myself into the canal, by God, I will!

HENRY

Oh, what a sly little beast you are! You are all very sly beasts, and you want to be slier than Henry Tile, but you cannot. He will deceive you, Feklusha! I was jesting. You may run after me night and day, but you will not overtake me. You will lose your reason altogether, your eyes will turn yellow, you will be howling at the door, but you will not overtake me!

FEKLUSHA

My eyes are yellow now. And you are also drunk.

HENRY

You are foolish! I cannot be drunk. I drink this—(_Throws the bottle into the water_)—and it turns into fire, it burns like a flame. I am full of fire!

FEKLUSHA

I would have run away twenty times.

HENRY

Oh, yes. You would have run away twenty times. Another fool would have run away twenty times—and twenty times the police would have caught another fool! But I am waiting. I am thinking and waiting. Oh, I have grown tired of making plans and upsetting them, but soon I am going to have a plan which cannot be upset—and then I shall disappear. One, two, three—Uf!

_Blows at his fingers._

Where is Henry Tile? Disappeared. Excuse me, he has put on a magic cap. Feklusha! Could you overtake a phantom?

FEKLUSHA

_Laughing plaintively_:

Now it seems to me that I believe you again. You are a real tempter—a demon. I had better go home.

HENRY

Believe me, please, believe me! I have a remarkable mind which sees everything. You say this is the fog, and I am telling you that these are the wings on which Henry Tile will fly away. I have a remarkable mind; it thinks while others sleep. What is it thinking about? Everything! Oh, what dreams I see, what a happy man I am!

_Laughs happily._

Excuse me, I pushed you.

FEKLUSHA

Never mind, Henry, that’s nothing.

HENRY

That’s impolite. Excuse me. Fools ask me, What do you do all day long, you are always alone? Why, I haven’t enough days and nights for thinking! Thinking! Thinking! They take me to see gay women, they take me as if I were sick and needed a cure, and they ask me, Isn’t it fine, Henry Tile? And I say to them, Very good! What a wonderful orgy!

_Laughs._

FEKLUSHA

_Also laughing_:

Are the women nice?

HENRY

You are foolish. As if I needed women! For a trifling sum I can be immoral—how foolish! Listen, I am now thirty-four years old, and I may live another thirty-four years—and what if I should be old, that doesn’t matter. The Popes of Rome are made Popes only when they are old—that doesn’t matter. And in America—or wherever I shall be, wherever there will be the man who will emerge from the stupid skin of Henry Tile—in America I will invest my million. Oh, I know how to handle money! I have a plan, I have given much thought to it, I have considered everything, and I know a dozen combinations which will bring me a hundred millions in five years. Is that good—a hundred millions?

FEKLUSHA

What a question!

HENRY

No, Feklusha, that isn’t so good—but a thousand millions, but two thousand millions—that is good! Then I could live! Then I could amuse myself! On that I could have palaces, buy women, be the benefactor of idiots, have a Henry Tile of my own who would love accuracy—then I could amuse myself! I will amuse myself!

FEKLUSHA

No, I don’t want to. Leave me, Henry. My dear fellow! Why did you take me by the hand? Leave me.

HENRY

You must believe me, my old friend! You must love me. I have a remarkable mind.

FEKLUSHA

I do love you, I do love you!

HENRY

_Bending down towards him, softly_:

Silence! Do you know that I, Henry Tile, am a criminal? I _am_!

FEKLUSHA

Really? At last, thank God!

HENRY

You can think of money only? No, it isn’t _money_. It is women—it is little children who are still lisping, “Henry, Henry!” It is the murder of human beings, it is deception, it is betrayal, mockery, falsehood, cruelty—and what else is there? What else is there that Henry Tile has not yet tried?

FEKLUSHA

_Faintly_:

Leave me.

HENRY

We are going to have cognac soon—you like cognac? Or punch? My dear Alexandrov, I will give you punch, yes, as much as you like.

FEKLUSHA

Again punch? I don’t want any.

_Rudely_:

When did you manage all this? You are lying, you haven’t enough money for all that. I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense, that’s enough!

HENRY

_Laughing happily_:

I am preparing myself, I must know everything. You remember how they taught us at school? I am preparing myself. I am painting pictures, I am a famous painter. I have achieved everything!

FEKLUSHA

Leave me alone.

HENRY

Be silent, or I will throw you into the water! I have achieved everything. They—these people—they know only the body of crime, but I, Henry Tile, I have penetrated into its soul. Oh, how I know the soul of murder!

FEKLUSHA

I’ll call a policeman.

HENRY

Keep quiet, you fool!

FEKLUSHA

_Loudly_:

Po——

_Henry closes his mouth. A light struggle, followed by a pause.
Only the frightened outcry of Feklusha and the heavy breathing
of Henry are heard._

HENRY

But I was only jesting. This is so foolish. I was jesting, don’t you understand? You will not cry now, will you?

FEKLUSHA

No. I was scared.

HENRY

Of course, of course! You thought I was talking seriously, and you were frightened. Don’t shiver like that, don’t shiver. You are a poor little rabbit, while I am a wolf, isn’t that so?

_Laughs, trying to appear kind._

I am a wolf, am I not?

FEKLUSHA

I like you very much, Henry—you are my benefactor. Why should I cry?

_Sobs._

Leave me, I am chilled, I may catch a bad cold.

HENRY

Yes, yes, it is very damp and foggy, you may catch cold, my dear fellow. Your health is very poor. You mustn’t shiver. Don’t—we will go soon. Shall we go or will you wait a little? I’ll wait.

FEKLUSHA

I am going in a little while.

HENRY

Oh, what a foolish little beast! He is shivering! But we will warm him up with hot punch, with very hot punch, and we will have some music. Do you like music, Feklusha?

FEKLUSHA

I do. Some one is coming. Let my hand go.

HENRY

_Laughing_:

That is the King of the Forest, Feklusha. “The child, all shivering, is clinging to its father.” Who’s coming? Who wants to scare my little rabbit?

_Laughs._

That’s nothing: It’s a lady in a large hat. It’s a beautiful woman for a song, and you will be a Don Juan to-night!

FEKLUSHA

No.

HENRY

Yes, yes. You said so yourself. Well, smile, smile—you are a splendid fellow!

_A woman with a large hat and bent wet plumes emerges silently
from the fog._

HENRY

Good evening, beautiful lady. May I know why you are walking alone in such bad weather?

_The woman looks at them silently._

HENRY

_Laughing_:

Don’t be silent, Feklusha, you must be a gallant cavalier. Ask her. You are a Don Juan this evening.

FEKLUSHA

What shall I ask her? Aren’t you afraid to walk alone, mademoiselle?

HENRY

_Laughing_:

He says, aren’t you afraid to walk alone? Well? Now let us hear the beautiful lady’s answer. Well?

_The woman is laughing and waving her hand._

WOMAN

Good evening, friends. Are you laughing at me or not? What are you standing here for, at the canal? Were you waiting for me?

HENRY

She asks: Were we waiting for her? Well, Feklusha, answer. She is a very nice lady.

FEKLUSHA

What shall I answer? You are so strange, Henry! Let’s take a cab, and that’s all. What’s the use of answering?

HENRY

_Rejoicing_:

That’s it! There’s a brave fellow!

_Both laugh. The woman, after thinking awhile, also laughs._

WOMAN

Are you drunk? Why do you stand near the canal? I am chilled, I am going home. What time is it?

FEKLUSHA

Happy people don’t watch the time. Henry, what did I say? Happy people don’t watch the time!

_Laughs loudly; Henry also laughs, clapping him on the
shoulder._

WOMAN

If you are so happy, take me along with you. I am also happy. My friends have nicknamed me “Happy Jennie.” I bring luck with me wherever I go. They all praise me. Come, why are we standing here? The bird on my hat is afraid of the rain!

FEKLUSHA

_Laughing_:

Happy people don’t watch the time? What? And what were you thinking of, Jennie?

HENRY

_Approvingly_:

Yes, yes, Feklusha, you have let loose. But we must ask the beautiful lady about her price.

WOMAN

What’s the sense of that? You are talking nonsense. Let us go, and that’s all.

HENRY

Feklusha! It was Henry Tile who asked what is your price. He was afraid the price would be too high.

WOMAN

Oh, not at all.

HENRY

_Laughing_:

Yes, he was afraid! But we are not afraid and we ask you to come along, Happy Jennie. Now we are all happy.

FEKLUSHA

All! I like her. You take her. Jennie, do you like cognac?

HENRY

Of course, she is coming along with us, of course. And there will be cognac, and hot punch. Come!

WOMAN

But where are you taking me? I am afraid to go to a strange place.

FEKLUSHA

We are kind people, Jennie—don’t be afraid. Henry, shall I take her arm? Jennie, your arm! Oh, what a little hand!

HENRY

But you are a real Don Juan! Come. And I will be your protector. Go, my dear children, I will follow.

_They go. Henry follows them._

WOMAN

Where are we going?

FEKLUSHA

Do you love me, Jennie? I am a kind man.

_The bank is deserted. Fog. Night._

_Curtain_

SCENE II: _The same night. When the curtain goes up after a
brief intermission, the audience sees the same unfinished room
in Henry’s apartment. The room is brightly lighted. On the
table are cognac and fruit._

_HENRY, FEKLUSHA and “HAPPY JENNIE” are seated at the table,
drinking. They have already drunk a great deal. The table is in
disorder. FEKLUSHA, intoxicated, is without a coat, in a soiled
shirt and torn vest. The woman’s waist is partly unfastened,
but she still wears her large hat with the wet plumes._

HENRY

Have another glass, Jennie. Please. And eat this pear.

WOMAN

_Merci_, I feel embarrassed. You are the host but you are not drinking anything yourself!

HENRY

Oh, no. I am drinking, too. Please—Your health, “Happy Jennie!”

FEKLUSHA

I drink your health, too!

WOMAN

I’ll be drunk. Well, here’s to the health of the one who loves!

_They drink._

WOMAN

I’d like to have some lemon. How much do you pay for your apartment?

HENRY

Twelve hundred.

WOMAN

Including the porter?

HENRY

Oh, yes. Including the porter.

WOMAN

That isn’t expensive. And a nice neighborhood, too. Well—

_To Feklusha_:

What is it? Why do you pull me?

FEKLUSHA

Jennie, take off your hat!

HENRY

Feklusha, you are impolite to the lady, you should be attentive to her, instead of pulling her. Fie!

FEKLUSHA

Let her take her hat off! Tell her. Jennie, take your hat off!

WOMAN

What do you want of my hat? Let it dry. It’ll dry better on my head. You’re not going to buy me another one, anyway.

HENRY

And don’t pull her hair!

WOMAN

It didn’t hurt. We are having such a serious conversation here, and he bothers me. That isn’t expensive, twelve hundred—not expensive at all. But you should let some of the rooms. What’s the use of keeping them vacant? They’re empty. Ah, you have filled my glass again, how quick you are!

HENRY

Your health!

WOMAN

My health is all right. Now, really, the rooms are empty. And good rooms, too. Anybody would take them—so many people need rooms, and here they are idle. Put out a green sign in front of the house: “Two rooms to let.”

HENRY

And with windows on the sunny side—that is very important.

WOMAN

With windows facing the sun, why not? Write it out and paste it downstairs, or the porter will do it. You wouldn’t have to bother. Do you keep a cook, or do you have your meals at a restaurant?

HENRY

At a restaurant. You know, there is so much trouble when you have a cook.

WOMAN

Oh, yes, sometimes you get a cook who will give you a lot of trouble! But, oh, you men, how little you know how to live! It’s funny to look at you!

HENRY

Another drink!

WOMAN

_Merci._ Don’t you think it’s too much? I’d like some lemon.

_To Feklusha_:

Again? How annoying you are—what is it you want?

FEKLUSHA

You came up with me, not with him. Tell her, Henry!

_Henry and the woman laugh._

WOMAN

Of course with you, with you. Well, give me your lips. I’ll kiss you—don’t be angry.

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want to be. You must love me, do you hear?

HENRY

He is jealous. Feklusha, are you jealous?

WOMAN

Jealous into the bargain, just think of it. Oh, you fussy little goat!

HENRY

He is a very jealous rabbit!

WOMAN

Oh, you foolish Feklusha! Look, even your friend is laughing at you, he is thinking, how foolish you are, and your beard is like that of a goat. Oh, you little goat!

_Strokes Feklusha by the beard; he laughs happily._

FEKLUSHA

Let go! Jennie!

WOMAN

No, I won’t. Are you going to be jealous? Are you going to be jealous? You little rabbit. I was jesting a little. Now I can have another drink. Have a drink, Feklusha!

HENRY

She loves you.

WOMAN

Of course, I love him, he is so funny. Well, you gaping fool, why do you spill the drink on the tablecloth? You’re spilling it on the cloth, and it’ll have to be washed. Be careful.

_To Henry_:

We’ve spilled so much, excuse us!

HENRY

Never mind, that doesn’t matter. Have this pear, please. Why don’t you have some fruit? Feklusha, have some.

FEKLUSHA

I am eating. He is very kindhearted, Jennie. He is very kindhearted, isn’t he?

WOMAN

He is the host, but he doesn’t touch anything himself.

HENRY

Oh, no!

FEKLUSHA

I love you very much, Henry. I love him very much, Jennie—he is kindhearted. I know him well. He calls me “Alexandrov”—and I come rushing to him. You can’t get away from him—Oh, no!

WOMAN

Oh, I am tired sitting up this way. May I sit on the couch? It’s softer there.

FEKLUSHA

I’ll sit down, too.

HENRY

Of course, please. Alexandrov, why don’t you help the lady?

WOMAN

_Laughing, intoxicated_:

Or I am going to wash the dishes right away. I am so foolish. Others do all sorts of things, but when I have had too much to drink, I start washing plates, cleaning knives and forks! It’s very funny! I wash a little, but I smash a heap of dishes.

HENRY

If that will give you pleasure——

WOMAN

Oh, no. I am not drunk yet. Ah, that’s good.

_Sits down on the couch._

And you, little rabbit, sit down, and I am going to tell you a little story. Once upon a time there was a little rabbit—his ears were long—Oh, so long!

_She tickles Feklusha’s hand, he laughs and withdraws his hand.
Henry looks at them from the distance. He is silent, as though
not there at all._

FEKLUSHA

Do you love me, Jennie?

WOMAN

I love you, I love you, of course I love you! Once upon a time there was a little rabbit.

FEKLUSHA

Do you feel chilly?

WOMAN

I feel warm now—I was chilly before. Wait, I’ll take my hat off. I’m tired of it—to the devil with it! Look at the plumes! My dear, I had been pacing the sidewalks ever since five o’clock—that’s enough to chill anybody.

FEKLUSHA

_Laughs._

And I have five children!

WOMAN

_Laughing_:

Oh, you rabbit! What do you want so many children for? I had one, and lost it—and you have five! Girls?

FEKLUSHA

Three girls, and one little boy died—Sasha. How many is that altogether?

WOMAN

Well, of course, girls. Just think of it! I had a little boy, a little rascal.

FEKLUSHA

Now, let us count!

WOMAN

What’s the use of counting? You are a queer fellow. What an accountant you are—counting his children on his fingers! Stop it!

FEKLUSHA

You’re wrong, Jennie. It’s always best to count, or you may forget. Wait, I’ll ask him. Henry, how many children have I, eh?

_Henry maintains silence, his eyes closed._

WOMAN

I guess he is dozing, be quiet! Let him sleep a little.

FEKLUSHA

Aren’t you afraid of him?

WOMAN

Why should I be afraid of him? You are impolite to me, but he is very polite. I like him very much. Be quiet, let him sleep.

FEKLUSHA

He knows how to count! He has a million!

WOMAN

Really?

FEKLUSHA

_Laughs._

I am doing it purposely. I am sly, too. He thought I was away, but I—he is wise, but at the same time he’s a fool, a big fool.

WOMAN

He is wiser than you. Are you wise? Let me see.

FEKLUSHA

I fooled him.

_Laughs._

He thought I was away, but I was standing beneath his window every night. I watched all his tracks. He can’t run away from me—Oh, no!

WOMAN

Don’t shout!

FEKLUSHA

I am not shouting. “Alexandrov!” You’ll find out the kind of man Alexandrov is! I’ll make you wince! I can cry, and I can dance, if I want to—that’s the kind of man I am. And if I want to, I can kill myself, and then, go and look for Alexandrov! “Alexandrov!”

WOMAN

You are just talking downright nonsense.

FEKLUSHA

It isn’t nonsense. You have no right to say that to me. I’ll hit you on the jaw.

WOMAN

What an angry rabbit you are!

FEKLUSHA

No, I am not a rabbit. I am a man. It was he who made me a rabbit, but I am a man. I have no ability, but I am a man. I have a heart beating here, I believe in God, but he doesn’t. What right has he?

_Crying_:

I can’t bear it any more!

WOMAN

Now, now! What is it you can’t bear?

FEKLUSHA

_Weeping_:

I can’t bear it any more!

WOMAN

Stop it, I am sick of it. Or I’ll fall asleep, do you hear?

FEKLUSHA

Kiss me.

WOMAN

First he cries, then he wants me to kiss him. There!

FEKLUSHA

I don’t want you to kiss me. Your nose is crooked. Why did you come here with a crooked nose? Get out!

WOMAN

Get out yourself! Just think of him! You didn’t invite me here. Get out yourself! You nasty little rabbit!

FEKLUSHA

Jennie!

HENRY

_Loudly_:

Alexandrov! Do you want some more cognac? Now, now—no fighting. Don’t raise your hand!

FEKLUSHA

I am not fighting. It is she.

HENRY

You had a little quarrel? That’s nothing. That’ll pass. Have some cognac, Happy Jennie.

FEKLUSHA

_Laughs._

Her nose is crooked, Henry. The devil brought her to us!

WOMAN

And who brought you?

_Puts on her hat angrily._

HENRY

Oh, aren’t you ashamed, Alexandrov? You are offending our guest! That isn’t right. What sort of a man are you?

FEKLUSHA

_Laughs._

The devil brought her here.

HENRY

Then you should be grateful to him, and not angry. If the devil had brought me such a woman, I would have said to him, Thank you! And I would have clasped his hairy, honest hand!

_Laughs._

Oh, yes, that would be an honest hand! Or do you think that the devil cannot have an honest hand? What do you think, Jennie?

WOMAN

There are all kinds of devils, just as there are all kinds of people.

HENRY

_Solemnly_:

Do you hear, Alexandrov, you fool? Drink, liven up your dull brain! Drink, Jennie, drink some more—drink faster! Soon the cock will crow. My night is passing, and I haven’t had a single one of my dreams. Drink faster. Swallow the fire! Here I, Henry Tile, am swallowing fire! Look! One, two, three!

_Drinks a large glass of cognac._

FEKLUSHA

I too! Look, Henry! I too!

_Empties his glass, coughs; the woman, laughing, taps him on
the shoulder._

WOMAN

So will I!

HENRY

He too! All of us! Drink faster, I beg you, my dear guests, I beg you: drink faster! The night is passing rapidly, but we must be faster than the night. Let us rush like wild horses. Do you know how to neigh like a horse, Feklusha?

FEKLUSHA

I do. What time is it? I must go to work to-morrow.

HENRY

What work? You are out of your mind. What work are you talking about? Have you forgotten, my old friend, have you forgotten that you are working for me?

FEKLUSHA

I am done for!

_Drinks._

Jennie, drink!

WOMAN

I’m drinking.

_Laughs._

You’re driving us fast.

_They drink, loudly clanking their glasses._

HENRY

Jennie, kiss Feklusha. Feklusha, kiss Jennie.

WOMAN

Drinking and kissing!

HENRY

Quick. I want to see how a man kisses the woman he loves. Just think of it, I have never seen it. Well?

FEKLUSHA

Well?

WOMAN

_Laughing._

There!

_They kiss._

HENRY

More—more—more passionately! Ah! That’s the way!

WOMAN

_Laughing_:

What a queer fellow—he’s never seen it before. Now, my little rabbit, we are like husband and wife—we kissed each other three times.

FEKLUSHA

I love you.

HENRY

Good! Oh, I know something else. We are all going to laugh soon. Wait. I’ll be back in a minute—just a minute!

_Goes to his bedroom quickly._

WOMAN

I am drunk, my dear little rabbit—the whole room is dancing before my eyes.

_Laughs._

What is he up to now—the flatterer?

FEKLUSHA

Kiss me some more. Everything seems to be dancing. It’s so funny!

WOMAN

That’ll do. Let me rather stroke your head now. What thin hair the little rabbit has—the crows seem to have pulled them out. Have the crows pulled out your hair, little rabbit?

FEKLUSHA

The crows.

_Henry Tile enters, with changed make-up, and changed walk. He
has on a light wig, baldheaded, and red beard. His cheeks are
very red. He stops and looks silently at the frightened woman
and at Feklusha._

WOMAN

Who is that? Listen!

FEKLUSHA

Look here, there’s nobody here! Who’s that? Why are you staring at us like that?

_Calls, frightened_:

Henry, somebody is here!

_Henry laughs triumphantly._

HENRY

_Distorting his words_:

Permit me to ask you: Is Henry Tile at home or has he fled already? I am an Englishman—Sir Edward Thomson. I am red-headed.

FEKLUSHA

Is it possible? Henry! By God, I have sobered up! I was wondering who it was—I was scared to death. Is it possible?

_Laughs. Henry and the woman also laugh._

HENRY

You didn’t recognize me?

FEKLUSHA

How could I? And your figure, even the figure—and that red beard!

_Laughs._

WOMAN

And baldheaded. But why baldheaded?

HENRY

Look!

_He walks across the room with a changed gait, imitating an
Englishman._

FEKLUSHA

Wonderful, quite a different man. I don’t understand a thing! I am out of my mind. Is that you, Henry?

HENRY

I. I can change my walk, I can change my voice, and everything else. Every night I put on this costume, I look at myself in the mirror, and I walk up and down this room alone. I am practicing. Do you understand me now, you fool?

FEKLUSHA

That’s what I call wonderful. That’s really wonderful. Jennie, do you see? It isn’t enough to kiss his hand—that’s what I say.

HENRY

_Changing his voice_:

Don’t you want some music, Mr. Alexandrov, and you, my beautiful lady? I am a musician, and at your service.

FEKLUSHA

I do, please, let us have it. Jennie, music!

HENRY

I am a famous musician. Listen, Feklusha, I will play for you “The Waltz of the Dogs.” Listen!

_He sits down with his usual affected manner, emphasizing it,
and plays “The Waltz of the Dogs,” explaining as he plays_:

Little dogs are dancing. Nice little dogs. Ti—ta—ta!

FEKLUSHA

Little dogs—well, well!

HENRY

This way. This way. They pull them by a string—they hold out bits of sugar—ta-ta-ti-ti-. And then the little dogs lift their feet—this way—this way—and they dance—the foolish little dogs. This way, this way!

FEKLUSHA

More! Please, play it again!

WOMAN

More! More!

HENRY

No. That’s enough.

_He walks away from the piano quickly; he stares at the woman
furiously, and then at Feklusha, and he stamps his foot._

Who am I? Oh you fools! The best musicians in the world will play for me, and I will step with my foot—I will crush their stupid violin with my foot, and will say “Enough!” I will stand with my feet upon your stupid music! Enough! The most beautiful of women will fall at my feet and kiss the mud of my soles, and I will stand with my foot upon her beautiful naked breast and say, Enough! And she will be crushed while still kissing with dying lips. Enough! I will cry! Enough, you foolish, trivial, unworthy—creature!

_He bangs the piano with great force._

WOMAN

Oh, don’t! Better play some more.

FEKLUSHA

Don’t, Henry. I am afraid! You’d better play—about the little dogs. Let the little dogs dance again.

HENRY

The little dogs?

FEKLUSHA

Yes.

_Laughs happily._

How they pull them by the string, and they lift their little feet, their little feet!

_Raises his feet._

HENRY

Their little feet?

FEKLUSHA

Yes. Please. I like it.

HENRY

Yes, yes.

_Laughs._

He likes it, he likes it. Very well, then, the little dogs.

WOMAN AND FEKLUSHA

_Begging_:

The little dogs?...

HENRY

_Sitting down at the piano; with changed voice._

Listen! I am a famous musician, and here I am playing for you the famous “Waltz of the Dogs.” Dance.

_He plays_ “The Waltz of the Dogs.” _Feklusha, raising his
hands, and imitating a dog dancing, turns around easily on his
toes. His face is serious and solemn. The woman joins him.
Raising her hands, she also dances turning around easily, as in
a dream. Her face, too, is serious and attentive._

_Turning around his red head and red cheeks, showing his white
teeth, Henry looks back at them, laughing and playing._

_Curtain_