Chapter XXI: Appendix: By O. A. Carr

(Page 31.)

Our mother made our clothes from the same piece, which, for many years, was her own weaving; and our resemblance was such in childhood that many thought we were twins. For sixteen years we were together day and night--in the field, in the school-room, in the home. "Bud and Ol.," our familiar names, were pronounced together, and the presence of one suggested the other. Our separation came when I said good-by to go to Kentucky University, and then to the other side of the earth. I can even now recall my feelings when I would go into Fitzroy Gardens, Melbourne, Australia, where, alone, I would read Owen's letters over and over. Though himself not a preacher, he came as near as any one I ever knew to an identification of his life with the lives of those who preach the word.

After my return from Australia it was our happiness to go together to a church composed of many whom I baptized when I began preaching forty-five years ago, some of them our relatives. The building was within a mile of where we were born, and near the site of the first school-house we ever entered. There were the boys and girls with whom we played in childhood, heads of families now. Such an audience was an inspiration to me, and especially the presence of "Bud." I ever felt that I could preach better when he was hearing. We went over the familiar roads planning a meeting to be held when the weather would permit, and I thought this happiness would be mine, but alas! there came the telegram: "Bud is very sick, come at once." We all came to him, except one brother who was far away. There were the chairs my mother used, my father's desk, the little chair in which I sat in earliest childhood, and the pictures on the wall of those whom my brother loved. There, amid all to remind me of early days, I took my seat beside him with the sad duty on me to report to the physician his pulse and fever day and night. What was revealed by his tearful eyes fixed upon us can never be put in a book; but when the physician told him he must die, he simply said "I am ready."

With the exception of a short sojourn in Missouri and Illinois Owen spent his life in Kentucky, at May's Lick, also at Lexington, Maysville and Mt. Carmel. The call for a young man who neither blasphemed nor drank secured for him his first business engagement at Lexington. He was engaged in Maysville many years, and he spent his earnings in helping our afflicted parents; and from the needy he never turned away. After the death of father and mother, Owen made his home with his sister, Mary E. Goddard, near Mt. Carmel, whence he was called to go up higher, Thursday, January 14, 1902.

Owen Carr was a Christian. His life was very quiet, but useful. His faith was simple, his convictions were strong and he was true to them. To maintain what he held to be truth I believe he would have laid down his life. Yes, he did this in effect, toiling for the good of others, bearing heavy burdens of suffering, fulfilling his mission to the family, in the community, in the church. How can I speak his praise? Does he know, now, how we all loved him? No words could ever tell it.

A companion wrote: "Though our association was not long at any one time, yet he was so transparent and companionable that in a short time I knew Owen Carr well. He was one of the few men in the world that I really loved ardently; and I have his obituary on the 'Treasure page' of my little scrap book. He was the divinest and sweetest impersonation of unostentatious unselfishness and of transparent honesty and integrity that I ever knew among men.

J. H. M."

IN MEMORY OF THE NOBLE.

(Page 46.)

"Not of the blood," though they were Englishmen: "nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man", and yet the Myalls, Eneas, Jonas, George and Edward, stand in memory as NOBLE MEN. In the days of their activity, their motto seemed to be: "We will do more than any others". Of these four men two--Jonas at May's Lick, and Edward, at Maysville, Kentucky--still live, and they are my witnesses. Eneas and Jonas Myall were blacksmiths; and they shod one hundred mules in a day, at a time when mules were driven overland to market! Energy, perseverance, generosity characterized these men--each in his own way.--Remembrance of them has been with me and has been presented to the young men in many lands and on both sides of the earth.

Of Eneas Myall Longfellow's words in "THE VILLAGE BLACKSMITH" are true in almost every line.

If money was to be raised for benevolent purposes Eneas Myall was the one to secure it; for he headed the list with a liberal offering, and while others did the talking, he did the work. He was more eloquent in deed than they were in speech: hence May's Lick church was in the lead of all churches in that part of the country in expenditures at home and abroad. As a deacon in the church he was well nigh perfection. I have never seen a better.

His constancy made him great in usefulness. For more than sixty years he led the songs in the May's Lick church. For a period of twenty years he was never known to be absent from the meeting on Lord's day morning and night and the Wednesday night prayer meeting except on one occasion, when he went to Paris to see his sick brother. His best singing was done, as it seems, on occasions when the boy, his protege, was in the pulpit. Such singing is seldom heard now-a-days as was heard when these men, Ed., George, Jonas and Eneas Myall sang together with Eneas to lead. There was only one occasion, as I remember, when Eneas Myall could not sing, and that was the morning when my father came forward to confess his faith in Jesus. He wept for joy; but could not talk--could not sing. The circumstances seemed to me to magnify his sincerity; for it was just at the close of the war. Eneas Myall was of strong prejudice, and he was opposed to my father politically, but the welcome he extended seemed to say: we differ out yonder in the world where political troubles are, and war rages; but here, in the church, there is peace, and we have fellowship. When I took my father down into the water to bury him with Christ in baptism, Eneas Myall had recovered himself so as to sing:

"How happy are they, who their Savior obey."

It is not strange that a man possessed of such firmness, such perseverance and such energy should become wealthy. His earnings increased: He sowed with an unsparing hand, and he reaped bountifully. Wealth did not make him proud nor dry up the fountain of his generosity. He seemed never so happy as when he was dividing what he possessed with his friends. When he and his good wife, "aunt Sallie" would spread the banquet, and he would gather all the preachers he could find and those who loved such company to his house, and around the table where he presided, what a feast for body and soul was there! What preacher who has ever been at May's Lick does not remember Eneas Myall and his family? He has gone; and shall we ever see his like again? Before him across the silent river had passed his faithful wife and the elders of the May's Lick church, as nearly models, as mortals could be expected to be, of what the Scriptures say of bishops, elders, pastors. What a church that was! over which Aaron Mitchell, Waller Small and Benjamin James presided, and taught by precept and example and led and protected, in those days when Walter Scott did the preaching and Eneas Myall led in song!

MY SHEEP.

(Page 272.)

"A sheep can never become a goat!" True of the woolly quadruped but this fact is no reply to my sermon; for the Savior was not talking about animals. He meant people when he said "My sheep hear my voice and follow me". That is what sheep (animals) do; hence people who hear his voice and follow him he calls his sheep; and says "they shall never perish". Who? His sheep; that is, people who hear his voice and follow him. If they should cease to hear his voice and follow they would cease to be his sheep and the Savior did not say of such, "they shall never perish."

But were they his sheep before they heard his voice.

They might have been called "sheep" on account of some other resemblance, such as proneness to wander away, need of guidance, of protection; but for these reasons it would not be true of them that "they shall never perish". It is certain that they would perish; hence the Great Good Shepherd came and called them home, saved and protected them.

If you say they were his sheep because he died for them--"laid down his life for the sheep", I answer: He called them his sheep before he laid down his life for them; and when he died it was not for them alone but "he died for all".

The truth is that the characteristic of sheep, to hear and follow, is possessed by all mankind; and whose sheep they are depends upon whose voice they hear and whom they follow. They are not the Savior's sheep unless they hear HIS voice and follow HIM. When persons do turn away from other voices and give heed to HIS they become HIS sheep. Would you say, this is not true, and give as a reason, "a GOAT can never become a SHEEP?" As well say this as to say "a sheep can never become a goat" as a proof that a believer may not, can not, cease to be a believer.

The one expression is fate fixed as fatally as is the other; and neither of them contains any Scripture idea.

* * * * *

The TRIAL was unique. The purpose was to determine whether I should be permitted to use their baptistry; and this depended on whether I was sound on what they called "the design of the ordinance." There were the officers of the Baptist Church to hear and a lawyer to ask questions. He put them in such a way that each question could be answered by simply quoting the Scripture; and that was happy; it was right, too, whether he intended it or not: "What do you believe baptism is for--what purpose has it?" Answer. "Repent and be baptized--in the name of Jesus the Christ FOR the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." Acts 2:38.

"Do you regard it as a saving ordinance?" Answer--"He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved." Mark 16:15-16.

"Yes, we believe that: of course, we believe the Scriptures, but what do YOU THINK? Do you think a person cannot be saved without baptism?" Answer--"I think just what the Savior says: 'He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved.' It is not my privilege to THINK anything except what the Savior said, and what his Apostles preached and practiced. Aside from this I have no ability to think; for I have nothing to think about." "Well, our Savior says: 'he that believeth not shall be damned' and he does not say he that believeth not and is not baptized shall be damned." "Does not this show that baptism is not necessary to salvation, that it is not a saving ordinance?" Answer--"Baptism is not named in that clause, hence, we cannot think what that clause says and have baptism in mind at all; since it is not there. The way to be saved, Jesus says, is: 'he that believeth and is baptized shall be saved;' but the way to be damned, he says, is, 'he that believeth not shall be damned.' I think just what the Savior says on the subject of DAMNATION; and I think just what he says on the subject of SALVATION."

Then Brother Jones, a Baptist, addressed the meeting in substance thus: "Brethren, I have heard every sermon our young brother has preached in Hobart, and I have found no fault with it. He says just what the Scriptures say, and surely you cannot refuse that. You heard the sermon on, 'What must I do to be saved'"? Then Brother Jones gave an outline of that sermon--the first I had ever heard that I understood--heard it from W. T. Moore at May's Lick, Ky., and from him I learned how to preach it. Thereupon a good man of the company of Baptists arose and said: "I would rather give up my life than countenance FREE-GRACE preaching." I did not want him to give up his life, and so the interview ended with my resolution not to use the baptistry; I would use the public baths instead.

MRS. CARR AND A LITTLE BOY--THIRTY-FIVE YEARS AGO.

(Page 198.)

A letter to be read between the lines. "Melbourne, Australia, September 5, 1909."

"DEAR BROTHER CARR:

"Father wishes me to express to you how very sorry he was to hear of Mrs. Carr's death, and how deeply he was moved by the touching references to and description of her beautiful life and character. She, indeed, was a wonderful woman, and must be sorely missed by many. It must be a terrible blank in your home and we deeply feel for you. Father felt it very much and very often spoke of her. Indeed, I felt it too. My mind goes back to my school days when my sister, Eliza (now gone many years) and I attended Mrs. Carr's school in Melbourne. I was then but a little fellow--about eleven years of age--(I am now forty-five and have three children.) It was a school for young ladies, but four of us boys were allowed to go--George Thomson, Willie Robinson, Willie Church and myself--and many a heart ache, I think, we boys gave Mrs. Carr. I can remember that Mrs. Carr put me in a room by myself for fighting Willie Church. I was in terrible disgrace that day; and I remember you came into the room and asked me what I had been doing. I told you I had been fighting Willie Church; for which you gave me to understand how naughty it was to fight. Then, I think, you were sorry for me, and said: 'Never mind Nat., we will have some fun,' which we did; and in the midst of it all Mrs. Carr came in and we both got in for it. The poor dear lady was doing what she thought best for me, and instead of punishment I was having a good time, with you. However, she was always very, very kind. I do not know that during my young life anyone so impressed me as the dear soul that has gone from us all; and I see by the book you sent us that I am not alone in this respect.

"The Church at Lygon Street is still to the fore. What delight it would give us all in Melbourne if you could manage to pay us a visit! Would it be possible for you to do so? You know the distance now is not so great as when you were here. The trip would do you good; and you could stay at my house (and we would have some fun.) The fine, grand steamers now running out to Australia should tempt you, and what a pleasure it would give us all to know that you were coming--won't you come? NAT. HADDOW."

"AVOID ALL OFFENSE."

(Page 186.)

The admonition, so impressive then, and needed always, caused the revision of many a manuscript from that time on. "That which offends will never convince." But then, when one's position is assailed, the very assault is considered an offense: such is human nature. Few are sufficiently civilized to discuss religious differences and at the same time "avoid all offense;" for each one holds his religious position as sacred, whereas, it is sacred only when it is true, when it is divine.

The Rev. James Ballantyne, a prominent preacher in Melbourne, had issued a tract. It was no offense for him so to do: it was right--even noble from his view of it. But did he present the truth? was the question, and it is the question even now, and ought to be inquired into by everyone. To help in this it was resolved that a REPLY be issued. To "avoid all offense" Mrs. Carr was requested to go over the manuscript word by word. What she approved it is hoped will not be an "offense" to the reader. The language of the author was quoted, his very words, and the reply followed each paragraph, thus:

"BAPTISM"--"ITS ORIGIN."

"It is not of man, but of God. Jesus Christ himself instituted it. We find it in the apostolic commission, 'Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in (into) the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.'"

TRUE.

"ITS DESIGN."

"It represents and seals the union of the soul with Christ. It is the pledge that all covenant blessings will be bestowed. It is the visible sign of our engagement to be Christ's, by receiving him in faith, and laying ourselves on the altar of his service. It is our initiation into the membership of the visible Church. It is the badge of our public Christian profession, proclaiming our separation from the world and our union with all who bear the name of Jesus."

THE ABOVE IS IN SUBSTANCE, WHAT THE PRESBYTERIAN CONFESSION OF FAITH SAYS, INSTEAD OF WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS IS THE DESIGN OF BAPTISM. WHOEVER READ IN THE BIBLE THAT BAPTISM IS A SIGN OR A SEAL, OR A SYMBOL OF ANYTHING? PAUL SAYS, "YE WERE SEALED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT," EPH. 1:13 AND 4:30. THE REV. BALLANTYNE SAYS, BAPTISM IS THE SEAL. THE OBJECT OF HIS TRACT, AS STATED IN HIS PREFACE WAS TO UTTER A WARNING WORD TO THE YOUNG, NOT TO LET FEELING TAKE THE PRECEDENCE OF ENLIGHTENED CONVICTION, AND NOT TO MAKE TOO MUCH OF BAPTISM. AND THIS IS THE WAY HE BEGINS: BY PUTTING BAPTISM IN THE PLACE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, AND BY MAKING BAPTISM SEAL THE UNION OF THE SOUL WITH CHRIST. REMEMBER THIS: "YE ARDENT AND IMPULSIVE MINDS" WHAT SAITH THE SCRIPTURE ON THE DESIGN OF BAPTISM, "THUS IT BECOMETH US TO FULFILL ALL RIGHTEOUSNESS," MAT. 3:15; "HE THAT BELIEVETH AND IS BAPTIZED SHALL BE SAVED," MARK 16:16; "REPENT AND BE BAPTIZED IN THE NAME OF JESUS THE CHRIST FOR THE REMISSION OF SINS, AND YE SHALL RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT," ACTS 2:38; "AS MANY OF YOU AS HAVE BEEN BAPTIZED INTO CHRIST HAVE PUT ON CHRIST," GAL. 3:27. BAPTISM IS A BIBLE THEME, AND WHY NOT WRITE ABOUT IT IN BIBLE LANGUAGE?

"The words do not declare that Faith must go before Baptism. The Greek word translated BAPTIZED is baptistheis. The proper meaning of this is, HAVING BEEN BAPTIZED. Anyone who knows the parts of the Greek verb knows this. The passage, then, reads thus: 'He that believeth, having been baptized, shall be saved.' So then, after all, the passage is just as favorable to infant baptism as any passage could be."

BAPTISTHEIS MEANS HAVING BEEN BAPTIZED. THIS IS STRICTLY TRUE. IT IS ALSO STRICTLY TRUE THAT "PISTEUSAS" IS THE FIRST AORIST PARTICIPLE, AND LITERALLY MEANS HAVING BELIEVED. "ANYONE WHO KNOWS THE PARTS OF THE GREEK VERB KNOWS THIS." THE PASSAGE, THEN, READS THUS: "HE HAVING BELIEVED, AND HAVING BEEN BAPTIZED SHALL BE SAVED." SO, THEN, AFTER ALL, THE PASSAGE IS JUST AS UNSUITABLE TO INFANT BAPTISM AS ANY PASSAGE COULD BE.

* * * * *

FROM THE ALUMNAE.

How often do we recall the mornings dear Mrs. Carr called us into the study hall, or kept us in the dining room to give us those sweet, motherly 'little talks.' How often her words come to us as we see her standing there among us, and, in her gentle, tactful way, a way which belonged only to her, telling us and advising us about those little things which play such important part in the formation of habits and character.

Well do we all remember the little talk about the dirt's being swept into the corner, or left behind the door; how that in time such habits would tell upon our characters; that a neatly kept room was but an expression of a girl's inner self.

Her precious words we treasure in our hearts and value beyond all price. How often have we heard her say: "My dear girls, this I say for your good. It may be hard for you to receive it, and you may not know now the value of it; but you will know in after life." And then would follow those talks about decorum. "Think nothing, do nothing that you would be ashamed for your father and mother to know. Write nothing to your intimate friend that would not bear the light. Admit nothing here into your college home that would defile. Carr-Burdette College is the child of my brain and heart, dedicated to you. Our home is our castle, and let us guard it sacredly. Character is everything in a young lady's life; knowledge is good, but the wisdom which is from above is best. I know that some of you girls think I am exacting, think that I am too strict; but you will know hereafter that your best friend is the one who tells you kindly of your faults and helps you to correct them; and you will be grateful after awhile for having given heed to many things that you do not like now. You will say in your hearts: 'I see now that Mrs. Carr was right, and I am glad she said NO to many of my wishes and warned me against so many little things that tempted me.' I would deny you nothing you want except those things that I think will injure you. I am sleepless at night, thinking of you, planning for your good, how I can best discharge the weighty responsibility that is on me."

She was happiest when she knew she was pleasing us, would join in our merry-making, and laugh aloud at our pranks. To reward us was her delight. What happy talks she made when she bestowed medals and honors! Talks, sparkling with wit and glowing with love and enthusiasm, on that last night of the session before we all went home. She is on the rostrum, the medals in their cases are on the stand; she takes them up, displays them to the audience, one by one, and talks about each, its meaning, what it is for, talks to the audience about the girl who is to receive it and who could ever equal her grace of diction and whole-souled sympathy? How she kept the audience in suspense, in excitement; how she amused all by her wit, and then, with tearful joy, pinned the medal on the girl whom she called to the rostrum to receive it. Holding up the house-keeper's medal, she would say to the audience: "This medal I esteem the best of all; the best house-keeper is to be the most honored. To be neat, to be orderly, to show ability to keep a home, to mind the little things that make for neatness, to sweep in the corners, to be tasteful--all this is to be lovely in conduct; and, remember, that all honors of every kind bestowed by Carr-Burdette College have this meaning namely, every medal, every diploma is hedged about by conduct."

* * * * *

TO MATTIE'S MEMORY.

[From a letter written by O. A. Carr.]

"Carr-Burdette College, Sherman, Texas, is the monument to the memory of my dear departed wife. She gave the last thirteen years of her life to the college. I feel that she literally sacrificed her life in the accomplishment of her high purpose; for I know she toiled beyond her strength, forgetful of self. She conceived of building the college as a Home and School for young women, and of how the funds were to be secured. She planned the building, which was erected under her immediate supervision, and there is not an idea in it that is not hers. She devised and toiled to within a few days of her death, and expended all earnings on the college, that she might attain her ideal.

According to her heart's desire that the college should never suspend its work, and that her purposes may be carried out as nearly as possible, I, with the assistance of able and devoted teachers, continue the struggle. I can not do the work my dear wife did; nor do I think that any one else could do what she has been doing all these years; but an honest effort will be made to accomplish her purpose--that Carr-Burdette College may continue to be her IDEAL, as it is now her MONUMENT.

Saturday, October 26, 1907, on her return from shopping with some of the students, I offered to assist Mattie with the writing. She said: "I am not able to think now; I must rest." The next day she was unable to rise. The physician pronounced the trouble lagrippe, and he assured me, even at noon, Thursday, that she would recover. Alas! at 7:30 p. m. the same day, death came. There was no symptom of suffering. She seemed to be sleeping.

The loving hands of students and teachers and kind friends arranged all for the funeral--the first public assembly held in the college over which she did not preside and direct in detail. Her lifeless body lay in her own beautiful college parlor, where the funeral was conducted by Brother J. H. Fuller and Brother A. O. Riall assisted by Brother R. D. Smith, and Dr. Clyce, President of Austin College. Mattie told me years ago that she wished Brother Graham, with whom she was associated at Hamilton College, and Brother McGarvey, to preach her funeral; but Brother Graham had gone where there are no funerals, and Brother McGarvey could not be here. The students in a line of march descended the stairway, preceded by a young girl in white, who bore their beautiful floral offering. They stood on either side of the casket and sang (1) "Some Day", (2) "Going Home", (3) "My Savior First of All", (4) "I Am Only Waiting Here", (5) "Sweet By and By."

One who knew Mattie well wrote me years ago, saying, "I know of no one who can show a more valid claim than yourself to have a living commentary on the last chapter of Proverbs". That chapter was read from the twelfth verse to the conclusion, by Brother Smith, and Brother Fuller chose as the text for his beautiful, hopeful discourse, "The gift of God is eternal life, through our Lord Jesus the Christ".

For nearly forty years Mattie and I have toiled together. She took responsibility, financial and domestic from me, and bore it herself. I trusted to her judgment, and felt that all was well when she approved. And now, at night, I sit alone where we used to sit together. I look around to see her, but see only her empty chair."

* * * * *

Transcriber's Note:

Inconsistent spellings and hyphenation have been retained. Obvious printer errors fixed. Many punctuation errors repaired.

In the footnote of page 192 missing letters "Alex. would have me take him to see the mother of Brother Be. sley who went to Australia..."

End of Project Gutenberg's The Story of a Life, by J. Breckenridge Ellis

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