Chapter I: Act I

_The curtain rises, showing the Second Best Throne Room of the King and Queen. It may either be hung with softly draped curtains, or have walls, representing gray rock, hung with old tapestries behind the throne and on the side walls. There is one entrance at the right, near the rear wall. In the center rear is a dais, and upon it a divan. At the right of the dais, near the front of the stage, is a chest. Opposite, at the left, is a cradle, with a small stool near by._[3]

_The King is seated on the divan, which is the throne, half facing the right wall, working out a plan of battle with toy knights on a board. The Queen is seated on the chest, facing the audience. She is surrounded by half opened parchments, and is scribbling in a hurried, worried, manner, with a quill pen. Both she and the King are dressed for the christening, and are wearing crowns._

QUEEN (_frantically_).

Oh dear, I’m having such an awful time!

KING (_not looking up_).

What’s that?

QUEEN.

Oh yes, you always say, “What’s that?”
Oh dear!

KING.

Yes, here my knights would make a charge.

QUEEN.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what can I do?

KING (_mildly_).

I’m sure I don’t know. What’s the matter dear?--
These knights would steal up in the dark, and then--

QUEEN (_interrupting crossly_).

And then they’d all be killed, I surely hope.

KING.

My dear, but what an odd remark to make.

QUEEN (_biting her pen_).

Well, you’d say odd things, too, if you were me.

KING (_reprovingly_).

“If you were _I_,” my dear, you should have said.
You are so careless in these little things,
I can’t imagine what your school was like.

QUEEN.

I never went to school, I’ve told you that.
A nice old wizard taught me everything.

KING (_not much interested_).

Ah, yes, arithmetic, and things like that--

QUEEN.

No, elementary magic! nothing dull
Like spelling, writing, and arithmetic.
We used to have a lesson every day:
Transforming things, stones into little cakes
With icing,--useful things like that _we_ learned. (_She turns back
to her work._)
Oh dear, I simply can not get this straight!

KING.

What is that you want to do my dear?

QUEEN.

I’m copying the baby’s Christening list
To give the steward--so he’ll know the names
Of all the people that I’ve asked to come.
And now I cannot read the names myself.
I wrote them in a hurry. I don’t know
Who is invited now--or who is not.
The thing is in a simply awful mess,
And now it’s getting late, and all the guests
Will be there in a minute! Dear, oh dear!

KING (_Gets up and comes to her side. He takes up the parchments
and puzzles over them_).

The writing is a bit like beetle tracks--

QUEEN.

Oh hurry, do, it’s really awfully late.

KING (_frowning_).

Let’s see whom you’ve asked first. What names are these?

QUEEN.

Those are my cousins, you remember them,
They gave us that enchanted silver bowl
When we were married.

KING.

Yes, oh yes, of course.
The Fairy of the Golden Isles--I see--
The Fairy of the Silver Rivers, and
The Fairy of the Crystal Mountains. Yes,
I do remember them now, perfectly.
Nice fairies, too. How stupid to forget.
Who are all these?

QUEEN.

They’re the more common guests
Who’ll just come in for tea this afternoon,
After our ceremonies all are through.

KING.

Ah, Cinderella and the Prince, I see.
Bluebeard? (_very angrily._) I don’t see why you asked that man!

QUEEN.

His wife is my _best_ friend.

KING (_with meaning_).

She won’t be, long.
Who’se this? Aladdin?

QUEEN.

Yes, he’s visiting.

KING.

King Cole--I hope _he_ comes. Perhaps he’ll stay
And smoke a pipe after the rest have gone. (_reading hurriedly._)
Fairy of hum te-hum-te-hum te-hum,
King of the hum te-hum te-hum te-hum,
Queen hum-te-de, King tum te tum te tum,
Te tum-te tum--King of the Pearly-gates.
Prince of the Pomegranate Garden-tum-te-tum--
My gracious, but you’ve surely asked a lot.

QUEEN (_proudly_).

Yes, it’s the biggest party ever held
In all the kingdoms. Baby should be proud. (_She looks in the
cradle._)
That all this great big party’s just for her,
Just for her Christening. Oh the sweetum’s thing.
See--see--the duckie!

KING.

Shsh--don’t wake her up. (_He looks at the list again._)
What’s this name here that seems to be scratched out?

QUEEN.

Why I don’t know, I’m sure. What can it be?

KING.

It looks like “Stable Calves”--it can’t be that,
Now can it? That’s an awfully funny name
It seems to me, for any fairy. Why,
The “Fairy of the Stable Calves”--Oh no!
I’m sure we don’t know anyone like that.

QUEEN (_recognizing it_).

I know--it’s “Fairy of the Sable Caves”!

KING (_amazed_).

Gadzooks! Aunt Fairy of the Sable Caves!

QUEEN (_sitting down on the edge of the dais in
horror_).

I’m ’fraid I’ve done a simply dreadful thing!
What shall I do! I wrote that name down last,
And scribbled it so badly, that, well, that
When I sent all my invitations off
I couldn’t read her name, and so I thought
That it was something that had been scratched out,
And so, and so--

KING (_angrily_).

Odds-bodkins! zounds! gadzooks!
Then do you mean she wasn’t asked at all?

QUEEN (_sulkily_).

Such language isn’t necessary dear.

KING (_half apologetically but still angry_).

Well, I forgot--I’m sorry--but my sweet,--
You didn’t send her invitation off?
Aunt Fairy of the Sable Caves left out!
Zounds, she’ll be simply raving when she hears!
Her temper’s worse than twenty bottles bees!

QUEEN (_going toward King_).

It’s just a social error, dear, that’s all.
I’m awfully sorry--’cause she is your aunt,
But then, to tell the truth, I never did,
I never could have liked her, very much.

KING.

She surely has a frightful temper. Zounds!
I wouldn’t have offended her for worlds!
It’s just your carelessness again my dear.
She may be very horrid over this.
If you would _only_ be more careful, pet.

QUEEN (_starting to weep_).

Oh yes, I’ll try. I truly will. Oh dear!

KING (_nervously walking up and down_).

I wonder if there’s anything to do.
A note apologizing? It’s too late.
Well, well. We’ll simply make the best of it.

(_Queen flings herself weeping on the divan._)

QUEEN.

Oh everything is just too horrible.
I’d rather be a rabbit or a toad,
Or anything alive (_sob_) except a queen.

KING (_trying to quiet her_).

There, there, my dear, there, there, now stop, you must.
You’ll wake the baby. Stop! your eyes will be
All red and puffy for the Christening.
Get up and put your crown on straight, at once.
And put some powder on your nose. Now come--
Or else you know you’ll be a perfect sight.

QUEEN (_sobbing_).

I am one anyway, so I don’t care.

KING (_frantically_).

Get up I say. Now do be sensible.

(_Page enters, bows with formality and stands at attention._)

PAGE (_in loud and even tones_).

Oh, great and glorious ruler of this realm,
Oh fair and beauteous queen of all the land,
A guest awaits, in thy reception hall,
And rests her from her journey.

KING.

What’s the name?

PAGE (_still at attention_).

“The Fairy of the Golden Isles,” oh king.

(_Queen jumps to her feet._)

QUEEN.

I haven’t even time to fix my hair (_she fixes it_).
You should have told me it was getting late. (_She dabs her face
with a little powder puff._)
My eyes look better now I think, don’t you?

KING (_takes a handkerchief and wipes a tear away from
the side of her cheek_).

There, that’s the last old tear--no one would know
You’d ever cried in all your life. That’s fine!

QUEEN.

Now, is my crown on straight?

KING.

Oh yes, it’s fine.
How is my collar? Is it very mussed?

QUEEN.

No, not a bit. (_She looks in cradle._) The baby’s still asleep.
Just see how sweet! (_She sits down primly on the divan._)
I think we’re ready now.

KING (_taking up the parchment list of names from the chest_).

Give this unto the steward, boy. But first
Announce the Fairy of the Golden Isles.

(_The Page bows and backs out. The King straightens the room up a little._)

KING.

I’m sure I hope the banquet is all right.

QUEEN.

Everything came except the pomegranates,
And _rainbow_ fish instead of golden carp! (_Annoyed._)

KING.

Well, we can do without them, I suppose.

QUEEN.

I hope those young spring peacocks won’t be tough,
And that the Roc’s egg omelette isn’t flat.

KING (_Sits beside Queen on divan. In doing so he rests his hand
behind her, and then suddenly leaps to his feet_).

Ouch--Ouch! (_putting finger in mouth_.)

QUEEN (_anxious_).

Oh dear, whatever have you done?

KING (_mumbling_).

I’ve pricked it like the very mischief, dear.

QUEEN.

Pricked it--what on?

KING (_crossly_).

On something sharp, of course.

QUEEN.

Oh I’m so sorry! Let me see it, do.

KING.

It’s bleeding! Ouch!

QUEEN (_tearing her handkerchief_).

Here, do it up with this. (_She winds it around his finger._)
I wonder if that page has hidden tacks
Beneath our cushions.

KING (_fiercely_).

If he has--I’ll just--

(_Page enters and bows low. The King sits down suddenly._)

PAGE.

Oh great and gracious king of all this realm.

KING (_interrupting in a dreadfully fierce voice_).

Stop that--come here--no, nearer, on your knees. (_The Page obeys,
terrified._)
Tell me the truth now sirrah--did you put
Tacks underneath these cushions? If you did
I’ll send you to my deepest dungeon dark
Beneath the castle moat, and for a month,
Feed you on bread and water. Now, the truth!

PAGE (_terrified_).

Oh no great ruler; no, I never did.

KING.

Then tell me what it was that pricked my hand.

PAGE (_picking up from the divan beside the King, one of
the lead knights he had been manouvering at the beginning
of the play_).

Mayhap, oh king, you pricked your hand on this. (_He holds up the
little knight, and the King touches its spear gingerly._)

KING.

I guess that’s it. They’re spilled all over here.
The spear _is_ awfully sharp. Here, hide them quick.
Pick that one up before the guests arrive. (_He sweeps knights into
his hand and gives them to the Page._)

QUEEN.

Just stick them underneath the throne.

(_Page obeys._)

KING.

That’s right.
What was it now, you were about to say.

PAGE (_rising, but trembling_).

Oh kind and gracious ruler of this land,
Oh thrice fair beauteous and lovely queen,
The Fairy of the Golden Isles is now
Approaching, up the gold and marble stairs.

KING.

We will receive our cousin, with all joy.

PAGE (_backs out_).

I go, oh king, benign and bounteous.

KING (_to Queen_).

I only hope the baby stays asleep.
She’s apt to yell so awfully when she wakes.

PAGE (_standing at the door_).

The Fairy of the Golden Isles is come.

(_The Fairy of the Golden Isles enters, beautifully dressed, carrying a golden ball on a cushion._)

(_She kneels before the King and Queen who kiss her solemnly on the forehead._)

KING.

All welcome cousin, on this Christening day,
All welcome for our daughter and ourselves.

QUEEN.

All welcome cousin of the Golden Isles.
Our hearts dance like the golden blooms of spring
To see you here.

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

And mine rejoices, too.
Sings, and is glad, like wind-kissed daisy fields.
Sings, and is glad on this glad Christening day.

QUEEN (_changing to an informal manner_).

Now don’t you want to see our baby?
Why!
How well you’re looking! What a lovely dress!

(_They all rise and look into the cradle, speaking rather low._)

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

Oh what a darling! Why you never said
How awfully sweet she was.

QUEEN.

She _is_ quite sweet.

KING (_turning his moustache proudly_).

We seem to like her rather well, you know.

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

Well, I should think you would (_to the Queen_).
She’s beautiful!
I think she looks exactly like you, dear.

QUEEN.

Oh no, she looks exactly like the king--
Except the beard--of course. (_Tweaks his beard._)

KING.

You flatter me.

(_Enter Page._)

PAGE.

Oh great and glorious ruler of this realm,
Oh fair and beauteous queen of all the land,
Oh radiant Fairy of the Golden Isles--
The Fairy of the Crystal Mountains comes.

QUEEN.

We will receive her here at once.

QUEEN.

Yes--yes.

(_Page bows and backs out._)

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

My dear, your baby simply is too sweet!

PAGE (_reenters_).

The Fairy of the Crystal Mountains, sire.

(_Page goes out as the Fairy of the Crystal Mountains enters, beautifully dressed, carrying the crystal globe of wisdom. She kneels in front of the King and Queen. They kiss her on the forehead._)

KING.

All welcome cousin, on this Christening day.
All welcome for our daughter and ourselves.

QUEEN.

Thou of the Crystal Mountains--welcome thrice.
Our hearts dance like the crystal mists that waft
About your mountain tops, to welcome you.

FAIRY OF THE CRYSTAL MOUNTAINS.

Mine dances too, like glad nymphs in the mists,
Dances and sings on this glad Christening day. (_Changing her
manner, and getting up._)
Now let me see the baby, I can’t wait! (_All look in cradle._)
Oh what a darling! Isn’t she too, too dear!
She looks exactly like the King, I think.

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

I think she looks exactly like the Queen.

(_Page enters._)

PAGE.

Oh great and glorious ruler of the realm,
Oh fair and beauteous queen of all this land,
Oh radiant Fairy of the Golden Isles,
Fair Fairy of the Crystal Mountains, lo
The Fairy of the Silver Rivers comes.

(_The Fairy of the Silver Rivers enters immediately, beautifully dressed, bearing the mirror of beauty. She kneels before the King and Queen who kiss her on the forehead._)

KING.

All welcome cousin, on this Christening day.
All welcome for our daughter and ourselves.

QUEEN.

All welcome--Fairy of the Silver Streams.
Our hearts dance like glad ripples on thy waves
To see thee here.

FAIRY OF THE SILVER RIVERS.

Mine dances, too, like sunlight on the waves,
Dances and sings, on this glad Christening day.--
And I have brought a gift to give thy babe.

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

And so have I--

FAIRY OF THE CRYSTAL MOUNTAINS.

And I--

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

I thought I’d wait
Until the others came, so we could dance
Our magic gift dance as we give our gifts.

FAIRY OF THE SILVER RIVERS.

Why, that’s a good idea--(_looks in cradle._)
How sweet she is!
I don’t know which I think she looks like more.

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

Her mother.

FAIRY OF THE CRYSTAL MOUNTAINS.

No, her father.

FAIRY OF THE SILVER RIVERS.

Like you both.
My, she’s the loveliest baby that I’ve seen.

QUEEN (_smiling_).

I’m glad you like her. But I’d like to know
Just where you got your dresses. Why, my dears,
They’re wonderful! they’re simply exquisite!

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES.

We got them for to-day--we think they’re nice.

KING.

I hate to interrupt this pleasant chat.
But all our other guests will be here soon.

FAIRY OF THE CRYSTAL MOUNTAINS.

And we must dance our dance and give our gifts. (_Goes to cradle._)
We’ll have to pull it out a little way,
It’s much too close against the wall to dance.

(_They pull the cradle to the center of the stage and begin
a slow dance about it._)[4]

FAIRY OF THE GOLDEN ISLES (_holds ball high in air_).

Lo--this golden glowing toy
Is the ball of mirth and joy,
As a Christening gift I leave thee.
Keep it, and no harm will grieve thee. (_She puts it in the cradle
and kisses the baby._)

FAIRY OF THE CRYSTAL MOUNTAINS (_holds up globe_).

Lo, this crystal globe, before
Thy feet I lay. Deep wisdom’s lore
Is hid therein--Long-bearded sages
Have sought this secret of the ages. (_She puts it in the cradle and
kisses the baby._)

FAIRY OF THE SILVER RIVERS (_holds up mirror_).

The mirror of beauty I give to thee,
Thy face will greet thee happily,
The fairest face in all the land--

(_Enter Page, running breathlessly._)

PAGE.

I crave thy pardon sire, but I fear!

KING.

What is the matter boy? What is all this?
What do you mean by interrupting us?

PAGE.

Another guest, a dreadful, cross, cross guest!
Her eyes are flashing--oh she’s coming now.

(_All listen in consternation to angry sounds without. The fairies huddle together. The Queen edges close to the King. The Page, trembling, scuttles to one side of the dais._)

QUEEN (_terrified_).

What can it be?

(_The Fairy of the Sable Caves rushes in the door like a whirlwind. All the others open their mouths with astonishment and stand staring, in a semicircle. She stands looking at them in derision._)

FAIRY OF THE SABLE CAVES.

Well, what’s the matter? Are you all struck dumb?
I s’pose you don’t remember who I am,
Or else perhaps you’re overcome with joy
At seeing me. Oh close your foolish mouths. (_They close their
mouths sheepishly._)
Well, since I’ve come, what have you got to say,
Now for yourselves?

KING (_with difficulty_).

We’re awfully sorry--it--

FAIRY OF THE SABLE CAVES (_disagreeably_).

Oh yes, of course, it was an oversight--
You “wouldn’t _mean_ to do it for the world”--
I know those old excuses all by heart.
It doesn’t change the matter--not a bit.
You’re giving a tremendous Christening,
And I, and I--you’ve simply “overlooked.”
No, I was not invited--not a word!
Left out! the Fairy of the Sable Caves!
While these poor silly, frilly fairies here, (_She points to three
Fairies who shudder and cling together._)
Are given posts of honor. Yes, that’s right.
You’re scared, I’m glad, no one can slight _me_ twice.
You’ll all be sorry, good and sorry, too.
Show me the baby.

QUEEN (_terrified_).

There she is, in there.

FAIRY OF THE SABLE CAVES.

That ugly baby! looks just like you both. (_looking at the King’s
hand._)
What’s that old rag around your finger for?

KING.

I pricked it, badly.

FAIRY OF THE SABLE CAVES.

Pricked it? Pricked it--humph!

QUEEN.

We’re very sorry, it was all my fault.

FAIRY OF THE SABLE CAVES.

It doesn’t matter now whose fault it was,
You should have thought of that before.

QUEEN.

Oh please!

FAIRY OF THE SABLE CAVES.

Oh you will rue the day you slighted me--(_She faces the audience,
waving her arms and weaving a spell._)
Oh evil spirits of the blackest night!
Oh ghosts and goblins, ghouls and specters drear--
Oh wraiths who haunt dim starlit country roads--
Demons and trolls who dwell in dungeon moats--
Come near[5]--come near and weave a spell with me,
Come near and make a Christening present drear,
A Christening present for this sleeping child.

KING (_starting forward_).

You shall not hurt my daughter! I forbid.

FAIRY OF THE SABLE CAVES.

Back, back, or I will turn you into stone. (_She compels him to step
back._)
Hark to the spell I lay upon this child:
For sixteen years these silly spells shall last--(_pointing to three
fairies._)
She shall be happy, wise, and beautiful--
Dance in the sunlight--sing and laugh and play--
And then--and then--draw near, ye elves of doom,
Draw near ye spirits of my cave’s deep gloom,
Upon a _distaff_ sharp your child shall prick
Her finger, till it bleeds; and pale and sick
She’ll grow--(_beckoning_) imps from my cobweb tangled sky!
Pale, wan, and ill and then your child will--

(_She stands triumphant while the others cower in fear._)

KING (_interrupting_).

No--oh no--not _that_--have mercy--oh--I pray!

FAIRY OF THE SABLE CAVES.

Good-bye, I hope you’ll have a pleasant day.

(_She laughs wildly and rushes out. The Queen flings herself sobbing upon the King. The others recover a bit._)

FAIRY OF THE SILVER RIVERS (_comes forward toward Queen_).

Stop crying now, there’s something I can do.
Her power equals mine and so I can’t
Destroy her evil charms entirely.
But I can make them less, less, horrible.
Give me your hands. (_The three Fairies join hands over the
cradle._) Now close your eyes and wish.
Wish that the words I say will all come true.
The Princess shall not die, she shall not die,
But fall asleep instead, and sleep and sleep,
Sleep for a hundred years, until at last,
A prince shall break the spell by kissing her,
And she shall wake again to life and joy.

(_All drop hands and the tension is relaxed._)

KING (_mopping face with handkerchief_).

Well, I can’t tell you how obliged I am,
You’re too--too kind--I--well--I simply can’t.

QUEEN.

We have no words, we feel, far, far too much.
I don’t believe in evil spells at all,
Only in good ones, never bad ones.
(_To King_) But I’ll never have a distaff in this house.

KING.

We’ll be on the safe side. Ho page--attend! (_The Page hurriedly
comes before him._)
Proclaim to all my people in the land,
That from this time no distaff may be brought
Within my castle walls, on pain of death.
And he who disobeys me--dies at once.

PAGE.

I go--oh sire! (_He goes out._)

QUEEN (_frantically to King_).

Oh, I simply can’t
Go on and have the party after this.

KING.

You must, now pull yourself together, dear,
And make it a success; smile, grit your teeth!

QUEEN (_to Fairies_).

Don’t look so sad my dears, it’s over now,
We’ll all forget it for the afternoon.

PAGE (_entering_).

Oh great and glorious rulers of this realm,
The Christening guests await thee, all without.

KING.

Then let us go to them. Come on, my dear.

QUEEN (_goes to cradle_).

We’ll take the princess then. Come sweetums, come,
Come to your Christening, sweet. Come, everyone. (_The Page lifts up
the cradle, as he does so the Queen turns to the Fairies._)
Forget that wicked charm, it mustn’t spoil
Our lovely Christening party, and besides,
All evil spells are nonsense; so my dears,
We’ll simply _never_ think of it again.

(_The Page goes out bearing the cradle. The others follow in single file. Queen, King and Fairies._)

Curtain.