Chapter LI

[Mimi and Harry write to Paddy and advise him of their approaching visit to Ireland.]

On board the Lapin Agil, Lisbon,
April 2d, 1906.

Dear Paddy,--You have been too long without a letter, so now we are both writing to you.

I am holding the pen and Harry is spelling the English words. That is why there are so many blots.

Dear Mr. Paddy, we cannot go back to Paris. We went there once and lived for three days at the old Maison du bon Tabac. It was so beastly. Harry says you (meaning me) must be very young to live where the people have nothing to do but to say what they will do some day. So we have grown up and do not do it.

We are now in Lisbon, where, Harry says, they used to have an earthquake. It has not swallowed up all the people, but there are a great many left. Harry says the girls are very pretty, but I do not think so.

It is better to be on a yacht when she is standing still than when she is walking. I do not like the sea, but Harry says it is good for me.

Please, Mr. Paddy, may we come to Ireland to see you? It was very naughty of you to quarrel with cousin Martha because she said you could not play golf. And to go back to Ireland in a huff. Of course, we shall say you play golf very well when we are at your castle.

Harry has bought the Château of Marcey-le-Rideau, and we are to descend there in the summer. One room is to be called Mr. Paddy’s room. Harry says it shall be very big, so that you can beat the floor with the golf clubs. He is building a little house in the grounds which we have named the Maison du bon Tabac. You may smoke there, Mr. Paddy, when you are angry and cannot get out of the bunker.

We met Madame Lea at Monte Carlo, and I did not bow to her. She has grown so ugly and has fallen in love with her husband. _Ah, mes enfants!_ What would happen to people if they were to fall in love with their husbands!

At Cintra, which is a very beautiful mountain near here, we met an American lady, who, Harry says, is an heiress. You should come out and marry her. Perhaps she would fall in love with you afterwards.

But I will not have anybody falling in love with Mr. Paddy. He is my friend. I wish him to die as a bachelor. Harry says he will do it, so I am happy.

Please say if we may come to your castle. The yacht will take us, but I shall go upon the railway line.

Your affectionate,
Mimi.

P.S.--Say if it’s convenient, old chap? Don’t for heaven’s sake turn your good sister out to grass, or anything of that sort. Just a bed and a crust, with a pipe and a whisky afterwards. It will be enough to see you, old Brian Boru. And God bless you, anyway.

THE END.

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES

The Bernhard Tauchnitz edition (Leipzig, 1910) was consulted for many of the changes listed below.

Cyrus Cuneo provided the frontispiece.

Minor spelling inconsistencies (e.g. Chatelet/Châtelet, music halls/music-halls, tiptoe/tip-toe, etc.) have been preserved.

Alterations to the text:

Punctuation fixes: some quotation mark pairings, and some missing periods and commas. Also, adjust some of the letterheads’ location lines to end with a comma.

Change four instances of Mr. _Fogg_ to _Frogg_.

[Chapter I]

Change “lunch in a frock coat and glory with Lea _d’ Alençon_” to _d’Alençon_.

[Chapter V]

“The suspicion that this chit of the _fétes_ foraines may yet startle” to _fêtes_.

[Chapter IX]

“but you will not have come here for the _fish ing_, perhaps?” to _fishing_.

[Chapter XII]

“bears witness once more to the smallness of this _terrestial_ globe” to _terrestrial_.

[Chapter XVI]

“for _litttle_ Martha insisted on shewing me the greenhouses” to _little_.

[Chapter XIX]

“the house which their old comrade Mimi _wil_ not enter” to _will_.

[Chapter XXVIII]

“Is it dreams, or _is_ spirits about?” to _are_.

[Chapter XXXIV]

“She posed _lanquidly_ and watched me with some cunning” to _languidly_.

[Chapter XLIX]

(letter signature) Change Lea _d’Alencon_ to _d’Alençon_.

[End of text]