Chapter III: Part 3

_Poet_. Let him be civil, doe: undo him; I, that's the next way. I will not take (if he be civil once) two hundred pound a year to live with him; be civil? there's a trim perswasion.

_Capt_. If thou beest civil Knight, as _Jove_ defends it, get thee another nose, that will be pull'd off by the angry boyes for thy conversion: the children thou shalt get on this Civillian cannot inherit by the law, th'are _Ethnicks_, and all thy sport meer Moral leacherie: when they are grown, having but little in 'em, they may prove Haberdashers, or gross Grocers, like their dear Damm there: prethee be civil Knight, in time thou maist read to thy houshold, and be drunk once a year: this would shew finely.

_Young Lo_. I wonder sweet heart you will offer this, you do not understand these Gentlemen: I will be short and pithy: I had rather cast you off by the way of charge: these are Creatures, that nothing goes to the maintenance of but Corn and Water. I will keep these fellows just in the competencie of two Hens.

_Wid_. If you can cast it so Sir, you have my liking. If they eat less, I should not be offended: But how these Sir, can live upon so little as Corn and Water, I am unbelieving.

_Young Lo_. Why prethee sweet heart what's your Ale? is not that Corn and Water, my sweet Widow?

_Wid_. I but my sweet Knight where's the meat to this, and cloaths that they must look for?

_Young Lo_. In this short sentence Ale, is all included: Meat, Drink, and Cloth; These are no ravening Footmen, no fellows, that at Ordinaries dare eat their eighteen pence thrice out before they rise, and yet goe hungry to play, and crack more nuts than would suffice a dozen Squirrels; besides the din, which is damnable: I had rather rail, and be confin'd to a _Boatmaker_, than live amongst such rascals; these are people of such a clean discretion in their diet, of such a moderate sustenance, that they sweat if they but smell hot meat. _Porredge_ is poison, they hate a Kitchin as they hate a Counter, and show 'em but a Feather-bed they swound. Ale is their eating and their drinking surely, which keeps their bodies clear, and soluble. Bread is a binder, and for that abolisht even in their Ale, whose lost room fills an apple, which is more airy and of subtiler nature. The rest they take is little, and that little is little easie: For like strict men of order, they do correct their bodies with a bench, or a poor stubborn table; if a chimny offer it self with some few broken rushes, they are in down: when they are sick, that's drunk, they may have fresh straw, else they do despise these worldly pamperings. For their poor apparel, 'tis worn out to the diet; new they seek none, and if a man should offer, they are angrie, scarce to be reconcil'd again with him: you shall not hear 'em ask one a cast doublet once in a year, which is modesty befitting my poor friends: you see their _Wardrobe_, though slender, competent: For shirts I take it, they are things worn out of their remembrance. Lousie they will be when they list, and _mangie_, which shows a fine variety: and then to cure 'em, a _Tanners_ limepit, which is little charge, two dogs, and these; these two may be cur'd for 3. pence.

_Wid_. You have half perswaded me, pray use your pleasure: and my good friends since I do know your diet, I'le take an order, meat shall not offend you, you shall have Ale.

_Capt_. We ask no more, let it be, mighty Lady: and if we perish, then our own sins on us.

_Young Lo_. Come forward Gentlemen, to Church my boys, when we have done, I'le give you cheer in bowles. [_Exeunt._

_Actus Quintus. Scena Prima._

_Enter_ Elder Loveless.

_Elder Lo_. This senseless woman vexes me to th' heart, she will not from my memory: would she were a man for one two hours, that I might beat her. If I had been unhansome, old or jealous, 'thad been an even lay she might have scorn'd me; but to be young, and by this light I think as proper as the proudest; made as clean, as straight, and strong backt; means and manners equal with the best cloth of silver Sir i'th' kingdom: But these are things at some time of the Moon, below the cut of Canvas: sure she has some Meeching Rascal in her house, some Hind, that she hath seen bear (like another _Milo_) quarters of Malt upon his back, and sing with't, Thrash all day, and i'th' evening in his stockings, strike up a Hornpipe, and there stink two hours, and ne're a whit the worse man; these are they, these steel chin'd Rascals that undo us all. Would I had been a Carter, or a Coachman, I had done the deed e're this time.

_Enter_ Servant.

_Ser_. Sir, there's a Gentleman without would speak with you.

_Elder Lo_. Bid him come in.

_Enter_ Welford.

_Wel_. By your leave Sir.

_Elder Lo_. You are welcome, what's your will Sir?

_Wel_. Have you forgotten me?

_Elder Lo_. I do not much remember you.

_Wel_. You must Sir. I am that Gentleman you pleas'd to wrong, in your disguise, I have inquired you out.

_Elder Lo_. I was disguised indeed Sir if I wrong'd you, pray where and when?

_Wel_. In such a Ladies house, I need not name her.

_Elder Lo_. I do remember you, you seem'd to be a Sutor to that Lady?

_Wel_. If you remember this, do not forget how scurvily you us'd me: that was no place to quarrel in, pray you think of it; if you be honest you dare fight with me, without more urging, else I must provoke ye.

_Elder Lo_. Sir I dare fight, but never for a woman, I will not have her in my cause, she's mortal, and so is not my anger: if you have brought a nobler subject for our Swords, I am for you; in this I would be loth to prick my Finger. And where you say I wrong'd you, 'tis so far from my profession, that amongst my fears, to do wrong is the greatest: credit me we have been both abused, (not by our selves, for that I hold a spleen, no sin of malice, and may with man enough be best forgoten,) but by that willfull, scornful piece of hatred, that much forgetful Lady: for whose sake, if we should leave our reason, and run on upon our sense, like _Rams_, the little world of good men would laugh at us, and despise us, fixing upon our desperate memories the never-worn out names of Fools and Fencers. Sir 'tis not fear, but reason makes me tell you; in this I had rather help you Sir, than hurt you, and you shall find it, though you throw your self into as many dangers as she offers, though you redeem her lost name every day, and find her out new honours with your Sword, you shall but be her mirth as I have been.

_Wel_. I ask you mercy Sir, you have ta'ne my edge off: yet I would fain be even with this Lady.

_Elder Lo_. In which I'le be your helper: we are two, and they are two: two Sisters, rich alike, only the elder has the prouder Dowry: In troth I pity this disgrace in you, yet of mine own I am senceless: do but follow my Counsel, and I'le pawn my spirit, we'l overreach 'em yet; the means is this--

_Enter_ Servant.

_Ser_. Sir there's a Gentlewoma[n] will needs speak with you, I cannot keep her out, she's entred Sir.

_Elder Lo_. It is the waiting woman, pray be not seen: sirrah hold her in discourse a while: hark in your ear, go and dispatch it quickly, when I come in, I'le tell you all the project.

_Wel_. I care not which I have. [_Exit_ Welford.

_Elder Lo_. Away, 'tis done, she must not see you: now Lady _Guiniver_ what news with you?

_Enter_ Abigal.

_Abig_. Pray leave these frumps Sir, and receive this letter.

_Elder Lo_. From whom good vanity?

_Abig_. 'Tis from my Lady Sir: Alas good soul, she cries and takes on!

_Elder Lo_. Do's she so good Soul? wou'd she not have a Cawdle? do's she send you with your fine Oratory goody _Tully_ to tye me to believe again? bring out the Cat-hounds, I'le make you take a tree Whore, then with my tiller bring down your _Gibship_, and then have you cast, and hung up i'th' Warren.

_Abig_. I am no beast Sir, would you knew it.

_Elder Lo_. Wou'd I did, for I am yet very doubtful; what will you say now?

_Abig_. Nothing not I.

_Elder Lo_. Art thou a woman, and say nothing?

_Abig_. Unless you'l hear me with more moderation, I can speak wise enough.

_Elder Lo_. And loud enough? will your Lady love me?

_Abig_. It seems so by her letter, and her lamentations; but you are such another man.

_Elder Lo_. Not such another as I was, Mumps; nor will not be: I'le read her fine Epistle: ha, ha, ha, is not thy Mistress mad?

_Abig_. For you she will be, 'tis a shame you should use a poor Gentlewoman so untowardly; she loves the ground you tread on; and you (hard heart) because she jested with you, mean to kill her; 'tis a fine conquest as they say.

_Elder Lo_. Hast thou so much moisture in the Whitleather hide yet, that thou canst cry? I wou'd have sworn thou hadst been touchwood five year since; nay let it rain, thy face chops for a shower like a dry Dunghil.

_Abig_. I'le not indure this Ribauldry; farewel i'th' Devils name; if my Lady die, I'le be sworn before a Jury, thou art the cause on't.

_Elder Lo_. Do Maukin do, deliver to your Lady from me this: I mean to see her, if I have no other business: which before I'le want to come to her, I mean to go seek birds nests: yet I may come too: but if I come, from this door till I see her, will I think how to rail vildly at her; how to vex her, and make her cry so much, that the Physician if she fall sick upon't, shall find the cause to be want of Urine, and she remediless dye in her Heresie: Farewell old Adage, I hope to see the Boys make Potguns on thee.

_Abig_. Th'art a vile man, God bless my issue from thee.

_Elder Lo_. Thou hast but one, and that's in thy left crupper, that makes thee hobble so; you must be ground i'th' breach like a Top, you'I ne're spin well else: Farewell Fytchock. [_Exeunt_.

_Enter_ Lady _alone_.

_Lady_. Is it not strange that every womans will should track out new wayes to disturb her self? if I should call my reason to account, it cannot answer why I keep my self from mine own wish, and stop the man I love from his; and every hour repent again, yet still go on: I know 'tis like a man, that wants his natural sleep, and growing dull would gladly give the remnant of his life for two hours rest; yet through his frowardness, will rather choose to watch another man, drowsie as he, than take his own repose. All this I know: yet a strange peevishness and anger, not to have the power to do things unexpected, carries me away to mine own ruine: I had rather die sometimes than not disgrace in public him whom people think I love, and do't with oaths, and am in earnest then: O what are we! Men, you must answer this, that dare obey such things as we command. How now? what newes?

_Enter_ Abigal.

_Abi_. Faith Madam none worth hearing.

_Lady_. Is he not come?

_Abi_. No truly.

_Lady_. Nor has he writ?

_Abigal_. Neither. I pray God you have not undone your self.

_Lady_. Why, but what saies he?

_Abi_. Faith he talks strangely.

_Lady_. How strangely?

_Abi_. First at your Letter he laught extremely.

_Lady_. What, in contempt?

_Abi._ He laught monstrous loud, as he would die, and when you wrote it I think you were in no such merry mood, to provoke him that way: and having done he cried Alas for her, and violently laught again.

_Lady._ Did he?

_Abi._ Yes, till I was angry.

_Lady._ Angry, why? why wert thou angry? he did doe but well, I did deserve it, he had been a fool, an unfit man for any one to love, had he not laught thus at me: you were angry, that show'd your folly; I shall love him more for that, than all that ere he did before: but said he nothing else?

_Abi._ Many uncertain things: he said though you had mockt him, because you were a woman, he could wish to do you so much favour as to see you: yet he said, he knew you rash, and was loth to offend you with the sight of one, whom now he was bound not to leave.

_Lady._ What one was that?

_Abi._ I know not, but truly I do fear there is a making up there: for I heard the servants, as I past by some, whisper such a thing: and as I came back through the hall, there were two or three Clarks writing great conveyances in hast, which they said were for their Mistris joynture.

_Lady._ 'Tis very like, and fit it should be so, for he does think, and reasonably think, that I should keep him with my idle tricks for ever ere he be married.

_Abi._ At last he said, it should go hard but he would see you for your satisfaction.

_Lady._ All we that are called Women, know as well as men, it were a far more noble thing to grace where we are grace't, and give respect there where we are respected: yet we practise a wilder course, and never bend our eyes on men with pleasure, till they find the way to give us a neglect: then we, too late, perceive the loss of what we might have had, and dote to death.

_Enter_ Martha.

_Mar._ Sister, yonder's your Servant, with a Gentlewoman with him.

_Lady._ Where?

_Mar._ Close at the door.

_Lady._ Alas I am undone, I fear he is be[t]roth'd, What kind of woman is she?

_Mar._ A most ill favoured one, with her Masque on: And how her face should mend the rest I know not.

_La._ But yet her mind was of a milder stuff than mine was.

_Enter_ Elder Loveless, _and_ Welford _in Womans apparel._

_Lady._ Now I see him, if my heart swell not again (away thou womans pride) so that I cannot speak a gentle word to him, let me not live.

_Elder Lo._ By your leave here.

_Lady._ How now, what new trick invites you hither? Ha'you a fine device again?

_Elder Lo._ Faith this is the finest device I have now: How dost thou sweet heart?

_Wel._ Why very well, so long as I may please You my dear Lover. I nor can, nor will Be ill when you are well, well when you are ill.

_Elder Lo._ O thy sweet temper! what would I have given, that Lady had been like thee: seest thou her? that face (my love) join'd with thy humble mind, had made a wench indeed.

_Wel._ Alas my love, what God hath done, I dare not think to mend. I use no paint, nor any drugs of Art, my hands and face will shew it.

_La._ Why what thing have you brought to shew us there? do you take mony for it?

_Elder Lo._ A Godlike thing, not to be bought for mony: 'tis my Mistris: in whom there is no passion, nor no scorn: what I will is for law; pray you salute her.

_Lady._ Salute her? by this good light, I would not kiss her for half my wealth.

_Elder Lo._ Why? why pray you? You shall see me do't afore you; look you.

_Lady._ Now fie upon thee, a beast would not have don't. I would not kiss thee of a month to gain a Kingdom.

_Elder Lo._ Marry you shall not be troubled.

_Lady._ Why was there ever such a _Meg_ as this? Sure thou art mad.

_Elder Lo._ I was mad once, when I lov'd pictures; for what are shape and colours else, but pictures? in that tawnie hide there lies an endless mass of vertues, when all your red and white ones want it.

_Lady._ And this is she you are to marry, is't not?

_Elder Lo._ Yes indeed is't.

_Lady._ God give you joy.

_Elder Lo._ Amen.

_Wel._ I thank yo[u], as unknown for your good wish. The like to you when ever you shall wed.

_Elder Lo._ O gentle Spirit!

_Lady._ You thank me? I pray Keep your breath nearer you, I do not like it.

_Wel._ I would not willingly offend at all, Much less a Lady of your worthie parts.

_Elder Lo._ Sweet, Sweet!

_La._ I do not think this woman can by nature be thus, Thus ugly; sure she's some common Strumpet, Deform'd with exercise of sin?

_Wel._ O Sir believe not this, for Heaven so comfort me as I am free from foul pollution with any man; my honour ta'ne away, I am no woman.

_Elder Lo._ Arise my dearest Soul; I do not credit it. Alas, I fear her tender heart will break with this reproach; fie that you know no more civility to a weak Virgin. 'Tis no matter Sweet, let her say what she will, thou art not worse to me, and therefore not at all; be careless.

_Wel._ For all things else I would, but for mine honor; Me thinks.

_Elder Lo._ Alas, thine honour is not stain'd, Is this the business that you sent for me about?

_Mar._ Faith Sister you are much to blame, to use a woman, whatsoe're she be, thus; I'le salute her: You are welcome hither.

_Wel._ I humbly thank you.

_Elder Lo._ Milde yet as the Dove, for all these injuries. Come shall we goe, I love thee not so ill to keep thee here a jesting stock. Adue to the worlds end.

_Lady._ Why whither now?

_Elder Lo._ Nay you shall never know, because you shall not find me.

_Lady._ I pray let me speak with you.

_Elder Lo._ 'Tis very well: come.

_Lady._ I pray you let me speak with you.

_Elder Lo._ Yes for another mock.

_Lady._ By Heaven I have no mocks: good Sir a word.

_Elder Lo._ Though you deserve not so much at my hands, yet if you be in such earnest, I'le speak a word with you; but I beseech you be brief: for in good faith there's a Parson and a licence stay for us i'th' Church all this while: and you know 'tis night.

_Lady._ Sir, give me hearing patiently, and whatsoever I have heretofore spoke jestingly, forget: for as I hope for mercy any where, what I shall utter now is from my heart, and as I mean.

_Elder Lo._ Well, well, what do you mean?

_Lady._ Was not I once your Mistress, and you my Servant?

_Elder Lo._ O 'tis about the old matter.

_Lady._ Nay good Sir stay me out; I would but hear you excuse your self, why you should take this woman, and leave me.

_Elder Lo._ Prethee why not, deserves she not as much as you?

_Lady._ I think not, if you will look With an indifferency upon us both.

_Elder Lo._ Upon your faces, 'tis true: but if judiciously we shall cast our eyes upon your minds, you are a thousand women of her in worth: she cannot swound in jest, nor set her lover tasks, to shew her peevishness, and his affection, nor cross what he saies, though it be Canonical. She's a good plain wench, that will do as I will have her, and bring me lusty Boys to throw the Sledge, and lift at Pigs of Lead: and for a Wife, she's far beyond you: what can you do in a houshold to provide for your issue, but lye i' bed and get 'em? your business is to dress you, and at idle hours to eat; when she can do a thousand profitable things: she can do pretty well in the Pastry, and knows how Pullen should be cram'd, she cuts Cambrick at a thread, weaves Bone-lace, and quilts Balls; and what are you good for?

_Lady._ Admit it true, that she were far beyond me in all respects, does that give you a licence to forswear your self?

_Elder Lo._ Forswear my self, how?

_Lady._ Perhaps you have forgotten the innumerable oaths you have utter'd in disclaiming all for Wives but me: I'le not remember you: God give you joy.

_Elder Lo._ Nay but conceive me, the intent of oaths is ever understood: Admit I should protest to such a friend, to see him at his Lodging to morrow: Divines would never hold me perjur'd if I were struck blind, or he hid him where my diligent search could not find him: so there were no cross act of mine own in't. Can it be imagined I mean to force you to Marriage, and to have you whether you will or no?

_Lady._ Alas you need not. I make already tender of my self, and then you are forsworn.

_Elder Lo._ Some sin I see indeed must necessarily fall upon me, as whosoever deals with Women shall never utterly avoid it: yet I would chuse the least ill; which is to forsake you, that have done me all the abuses of a malignant Woman, contemn'd my service, and would have held me prating about Marriage, till I had been past getting of Children: then her that hath forsaken her Family, and put her tender body in my hand, upon my word--

_Lady._ Which of us swore you first to?

_Elder Lo._ Why to you.

_Lady._ Which oath is to be kept then?

_Elder Lo._ I prethee do not urge my sins unto me, Without I could amend 'em.

_Lady._ Why you may by wedding me.

_Elder Lo._ How will that satisfie my word to her?

_Lady._ 'Tis not to be kept, and needs no satisfaction, 'Tis an error fit for repentance only.

_Elder Lo._ Shall I live to wrong that tender hearted Virgin so? It may not be.

_Lady._ Why may it not be?

_Elder Lo._ I swear I would rather marry thee than her: but yet mine honesty?

_Lady._ What honesty? 'Tis more preserv'd this way: Come, by this light, servant, thou shalt, I'le kiss thee on't.

_Elder Lo._ This kiss indeed is sweet, pray God no sin lie under it.

_Lady._ There is no sin at all, try but another.

_Wel._ O my heart!

_Mar._ Help Sister, this Lady swounds.

_Elder Lo._ How do you?

_Wel._ Why very well, if you be so.

_Elder Lo._ Since a quiet mind lives not in any Woman, I shall do a most ungodly thing. Hear me one word more, which by all my hopes I will not alter, I did make an oath when you delai'd me so, that this very night I would be married. Now if you will go without delay, suddenly, as late as it is, with your own Minister to your own Chapel, I'le wed you and to bed.

_Lady._ A match dear servant.

_Elder Lo._ For if you should forsake me now, I care not, she would not though for all her injuries, such is her spirit. If I be not ashamed to kiss her now I part, may I not live.

_Wel._ I see you go, as slily as you think to steal away: yet I will pray for you; all blessings of the world light on you two, that you may live to be an aged pair. All curses on me if I do not speak what I do wish indeed.

_Elder Lo._ If I can speak to purpose to her, I am a villain.

_Lady._ Servant away.

_Mar._ Sister, will you Marry that inconstant man? think you he will not cast you off to morrow, to wrong a Lady thus, lookt she like dirt, 'twas basely done. May you ne're prosper with him.

_Wel._ Now God forbid. Alas I was unworthy, so I told him.

_Mar._ That was your modesty, too good for him. I would not see your wedding for a world.

_Lady._ Chuse chuse, come _Younglove_.

[_Exit_ La. Elder Lo. _and_ Young.

_Mar._ Dry up your eyes forsooth, you shall not think we are all such uncivil beasts as these. Would I knew how to give you a revenge.

_Wel._ So would not I: No let me suffer truly, that I desire.

_Mar._ Pray walk in with me, 'tis very late, and you shall stay all night: your bed shall be no worse than mine; I wish I could but do you right.

_Wel._ My humble thanks: God grant I may but live to quit your love. [_Exeunt._

_Enter_ Young Loveless _and_ Savil.

_Young Lo._ Did your Master send for me _Savil_?

_Sav._ Yes, he did send for your worship Sir.

_Young Lo._ Do you know the business?

_Sav._ Alas Sir, I know nothing, nor am imployed beyond my hours of eating. My dancing days are done Sir.

_Young Lo._ What art thou now then?

_Sav._ If you consider me in little, I am with your worships reverence Sir, a Rascal: one that upon the next anger of your Brother, must raise a sconce by the high way, and sell switches; my wife is learning now Sir, to weave inkle.

_Young Lo._ What dost thou mean to do with thy Children _Savil_?

_Sav._ My eldest boy is half a Rogue already, he was born bursten, and your worship knows, that is a pretty step to mens compassions. My youngest boy I purpose Sir to bind for ten years to a G[ao]ler, to draw under him, that he may shew us mercy in his function.

_Young Lo._ Your family is quartered with discretion: you are resolved to Cant then: where _Savil_ shall your scene lie?

_Sav._ Beggers must be no chusers. In every place (I take it) but the stocks.

_Young Lo._ This is your drinking, and your whoring _Savil_, I told you of it, but your heart was hardened.

_Sav._ 'Tis true, you were the first that told me of it I do remember yet in tears, you told me you would have Whores, and in that passion Sir, you broke out thus; Thou miserable man, repent, and brew three Strikes more in a Hogshead. 'Tis noon e're we be drunk now, and the time can tarry for no man.

_Young Lo._ Y'are grown a bitter Gentleman. I see misery can clear your head better than Mustard, I'le be a sutor for your Keys again Sir.

_Sav._ Will you but be so gracious to me Sir? I shall be bound.

_Young Lo._ You shall Sir To your bunch again, or I'le miss foully.

_Enter_ Morecraft.

_Mor._ Save you Gentleman, save you.

_Young Lo._ Now Polecat, what young Rabets nest have you to draw?

_Mor._ Come, prethee be familiar Knight.

_Young Lo._ Away Fox, I'le send for Terriers for you.

_Mor._ Thou art wide yet: I'le keep thee companie.

_Young Lo._ I am about some business; Indentures, If ye follow me I'le beat you: take heed, A[s] I live I'le cancel your Coxcomb.

_Mor._ Thou art cozen'd now, I am no usurer: What poor fellow's this?

_Savil._ I am poor indeed Sir.

_Mor._ Give him mony Knight.

_Young Lo._ Do you begin the offering.

_Mor._ There poor fellow, here's an Angel for thee.

_Young Lo._ Art thou in earnest _Morecraft_?

_Mor._ Yes faith Knight, I'le follow thy example: thou hadst land and thousands, thou spendst, and flungst away, and yet it flows in double: I purchased, wrung, and wierdraw'd, for my wealth, lost, and was cozen'd: for which I make a vow, to trie all the waies above ground, but I'le find a constant means to riches without curses.

_Young Lo._ I am glad of your conversion Master _Morecraft_: Y'are in a fair course, pray pursue it still.

_Mor._ Come, we are all gallants now, I'le keep thee company; Here honest fellow, for this Gentlemans sake, there's two Angels more for thee.

_Savil._ God quite you Sir, and keep you long in this mind.

_Young Lo._ Wilt thou persevere?

_Mor._ Till I have a penny. I have brave cloathes a making, and two horses; canst thou not help me to a match Knight, I'le lay a thousand pound upon my crop-ear.

_Yo. Lo._ Foot, this is stranger than an _Africk_ monster, There will be no more talk of the _Cleve_ wars Whilst this lasts, come, I'le put thee into blood.

_Sav._ Would all his damn'd tribe were as tender hearted. I beseech you let this Gentleman join with you in the recovery of my Keyes; I like his good beginning Sir, the whilst I'le pray for both your worships.

_Young Lo._ He shall Sir.

_Mor._ Shall we goe noble Knight? I would fain be acquainted.

_Young Lo._ I'le be your Servant Sir. [_Exeunt._

_Enter_ Elder Loveless, _and_ Lady.

_Elder Lo._ Faith my sweet Lady, I have caught you now, maugre your subtilties, and fine devices, be coy again now.

_Lady._ Prethee sweet-heart tell true.

_Elder Lo._ By this light, by all the pleasures I have had this night, by your lost maidenhead, you are cozened meerly. I have cast beyond your wit. That Gentleman is your retainer _Welford_.

_Lady._ It cannot be so.

_Elder Lo._ Your Sister has found it so, or I mistake, mark how she blushes when you see her next. Ha, ha, ha, I shall not travel now, ha, ha, ha.

_Lady._ Prethee sweet heart be quiet, thou hast angred me at heart.

_Elder Lo._ I'le please you soon again.

_La._ Welford?

_Elder Lo._ I _Welford_, hee's a young handsome fellow, well bred and landed, your Sister can instruct you in his good parts, better than I by this time.

_Lady._ Uds foot am I fetcht over thus?

_Elder Lo._ Yes i'faith. And over shall be fetcht again, never fear it.

_Lady._ I must be patient, though it torture me: You have got the Sun Sir.

_Elder Lo._ And the Moon too, in which I'le be the man.

_Lady._ But had I known this, had I but surmiz'd it, you should have hunted three trains more, before you had come to th' course, you should have hankt o'th' bridle, Sir, i'faith.

_El. Lo._ I knew it, and min'd with you, and so blew you up. Now you may see the Gentlewoman: stand close.

_Enter_ Welford, _and_ Martha.

_Mar._ For Gods sake Sir, be private in this business, You have undone me else. O God, what have I done?

_Wel._ No harm I warrant thee.

_Mar._ How shall I look upon my friends again? With what face?

_Wel._ Why e'ne with that: 'tis a good one, thou canst not find a better: look upon all the faces thou shall see there, and you shall find 'em smooth still, fair still, sweet still, and to your thinking honest; those have done as much as you have yet, or dare doe Mistris, and yet they keep no stir.

_Mar._ Good Sir goe in, and put your womans cloaths on: If you be seen thus, I am lost for ever.

_Wel._ I'le watch you for that Mistris: I am no fool, here will I tarry till the house be up and witness with me.

_Mar._ Good dear friend goe in.

_Wel._ To bed again if you please, else I am fixt here till there be notice taken what I am, and what I have done: if you could juggle me into my woman-hood again, and so cog me out of your company, all this would be forsworn, and I again an _asinego_, as your Sister left me. No, I'le have it known and publisht; then if you'le be a whore, forsake me and be asham'd: and when you can hold no longer, marry some cast _Cleve Captain_, and sell Bottle-ale.

_Mar._ I dare not stay Sir, use me modestly, I am your wife.

_Wel._ Goe in, I'le make up all.

_Elder Lo._ I'le be a witness of your naked truth Sir: this is the Gentlewoman, prethee look upon him, that is he that made me break my faith sweet: but thank your Sister, she hath soder'd it.

_Lady._ What a dull ass was I, I could not see this wencher from a wench: twenty to one, if I had been but tender like my Sister, he had served me such a slippery trick too.

_Wel._ Twenty to one I had.

_Elder Lo._ I would have watcht you Sir, by your good patience, for ferreting in my ground.

_Lady._ You have been with my Sister.

_Wel._ Yes to bring.

_Elder Lo._ An heir into the world he means.

_Lady._ There is no chafing now.

_Wel._ I have had my part on't: I have been chaft this three hours, that's the least, I am reasonable cool now.

_Lady._ Cannot you fare well, but you must cry roast-meat?

_Wel._ He that fares well, and will not bless the founders, is either surfeited, or ill taught, Lady, for mine own part, I have found so sweet a diet, I can commend it, though I cannot spare it.

_Elder Lo._ How like you this dish, _Welford_, I made a supper on't, and fed so heartily, I could not sleep.

_Lady._ By this light, had I but scented out your [train], ye had slept with a bare pillow in your arms and kist that, or else the bed-post, for any wife ye had got this twelve-month yet: I would have vext you more than a try'd post-horse; and been longer bearing, than ever after-game at _Irish_ was. Lord, that I were unmarried again.

_Elder Lo._ Lady I would not undertake ye, were you again a _Haggard_, for the best cast of four Ladys i'th' Kingdom: you were ever tickle-footed, and would not truss round.

_Wel._ Is she fast?

_Elder Lo._ She was all night lockt here boy.

_Wel._ Then you may lure her without fear of losing: take off her Cranes. You have a delicate Gentlewoman to your Sister: Lord what a prettie furie she was in, when she perceived I was a man: but I thank God I satisfied her scruple, without the Parson o'th' town.

_Elder Lo._ What did ye?

_Wel._ Madam, can you tell what we did?

_Elder Lo._ She has a shrewd guess at it I see it by her.

_Lady._ Well you may mock us: but my large Gentlewoman, my _Mary Ambre_, had I but seen into you, you should have had another bed-fellow, fitter a great deal for your itch.

_Wel._ I thank you Lady, me thought it was well, You are so curious.

_Enter_ Young Loveless, _his_ Lady, Morecraft, Savil, _and two Servingmen._

_El. Lo._ Get on your doublet, here comes my Brother.

_Yo. Lo._ Good morrow Brother, and all good to your Lady.

_Mor._ God save you and good morrow to you all.

_El. Lo._ Good morrow. Here's a poor brother of yours.

_Lady._ Fie how this shames me.

_Mor._ Prethee good fellow help me to a cup of beer.

_Ser._ I will Sir.

_Yo. Lo._ Brother what makes you here? will this Lady do? Will she? is she not nettl'd still?

_Elder Lo._ No I have cur'd her. Mr. _Welford_, pray know this Gentleman is my Brother.

_Wel._ Sir I shall long to love him.

_Yo. Lo._ I shall not be your debter Sir. But how is't with you?

_Elder Lo._ As well as may be man: I am married: your new acquaintance hath her Sister, and all's well.

_Yo. Lo._ I am glad on't. Now my prettie Lady Sister, How do you find my Brother?

_Lady._ Almost as wild as you are.

_Yo. Lo._ He will make the better husband: you have tried him?

_Lady._ Against my will Sir.

_Yo. Lo._ Hee'l make your will amends soon, do not doubt it. But Sir I must intreat you to be better known To this converted _Jew_ here.

_Ser._ Here's Beer for you Sir.

_Mor._ And here's for you an Angel: Pray buy no Land, 'twill never prosper Sir.

_Elder Lo._ How's this?

_Yo. Lo._ Bless you, and then I'le tell: He's turn'd Gallant.

_Elder Lo._ Gallant?

_Yo. Lo._ I Gallant, and is now called, _Cutting Morecraft_: The reason I'le inform you at more leisure.

_Wel._ O good Sir let me know him presently.

_Young Lo._ You shall hug one another.

_Mor._ Sir I must keep you company.

_Elder Lo._ And reason.

_Young Lo._ Cutting _Morecraft_ faces about, I must present another.

_Mor._ As many as you will Sir, I am for 'em.

_Wel._ Sir I shall do you service.

_Mor._ I shall look for't in good faith Sir.

_Elder Lo._ Prethee good sweet heart kiss him.

_Lady._ Who, that fellow?

_Savil._ Sir will it please you to remember me: my keys good Sir.

_Young Lo._ I'le doe it presently.

_El. Lo._ Come thou shalt kiss him for our sport sake.

_La._ Let him come on then; and do you hear, do not instruct me in these tricks, for you may repent it.

_El. Lo._ That at my peril. Lusty Mr. _Morecraft_, Here is a Lady would salute you.

_Mor._ She shall not lose her longing Sir: what is she?

_Elder Lo._ My wife Sir.

_Mor._ She must be then my Mistres.

_Lady._ Must I Sir?

_Elder Lo._ O yes, you must.

_Mor._ And you must take this ring, a poor pawn Of some fiftie pound.

_El Lo._ Take it by any means, 'tis lawfull prize.

_Lady._ Sir I shall call you servant.

_Mor._ I shall be proud on't: what fellow's that?

_Young Lo._ My Ladies Coachman.

_Mor._ There's something, (my friend) for you to buy whips, And for you Sir, and you Sir.

_Elder Lo._ Under a miracle this is the strangest I ever heard of.

_Mor._ What, shall we play, or drink? what shall we doe? Who will hunt with me for a hundred pounds?

_Wel._ Stranger and Stranger! Sir you shall find sport after a day or two.

_Young Lo._ Sir I have a sute unto you Concerning your old servant _Savil_.

_Elder Lo._ O, for his keys, I know it.

_Savil._ Now Sir, strike in.

_Mor._ Sir I must have you grant me.

_Elder Lo._ 'Tis done Sir, take your keys again: But hark you _Savil_, leave off the motions Of the flesh, and be honest, or else you shall graze again: I'le try you once more.

_Savil._ If ever I be taken drunk, or whoring, Take off the biggest key i'th' bunch, and open My head with it Sir: I humbly thank your worships.

_Elder Lo._ Nay then I see we must keep holiday. _Enter_ Roger, _and_ Abigal. Here's the last couple in hell.

_Roger._ Joy be among you all.

_Lady._ Why how now Sir, what is the meaning of this emblem?

_Roger._ Marriage an't like your worship.

_Lady._ Are you married?

_Roger._ As well as the next Priest could doe it, Madam.

_Elder Lo._ I think the sign's in _Gemini_, here's such coupling.

_Wel._ Sir _Roger_, what will you take to lie from your sweet-heart to night?

_Roger._ Not the best benefice in your worships gift Sir.

_Wel._ A whorson, how he swells.

_Young Lo._ How many times to night Sir _Roger_?

_Roger._ Sir you grow scurrilous: What I shall do, I shall do: I shall not need your help.

_Young Lo._ For horse flesh _Roger_.

_Elder Lo._ Come prethee be not angry, 'tis a day Given wholly to our mirth.

_Lady._ It shall be so Sir: Sir _Roger_ and his Bride, We shall intreat to be at our charge.

_El. Lo._ _Welford_ get you to the Church: by this light, You shall not lie with her again, till y'are married.

_Wel._ I am gone.

_Mor._ To every Bride I dedicate this day Six healths a piece, and it shall goe hard, But every one a Jewell: Come be mad boys.

_El. Lo._ Th'art in a good beginning: come who leads? Sir _Roger_, you shall have the _Van_: lead the way: Would every dogged wench had such a day. [_Exeunt._

(A) The | Scornful | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was Acted (with great applause) by the children of Her Majesties | Revels in the Blacke | Fryers. Written by | Fra. Beaumont and Jo. Fletcher, Gent. | London | Printed for Myles Partrich, and are to be sold | at his Shop at the George neere St Dunstans | Church in Fleet-streete. 1616.

(B) The | Scorneful | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was now lately Acted (with | great applause) by the Kings | Majesties servants, at the | Blacke Fryers. | Written by | Fra. Beaumont, and Jo. Fletcher, | Gentlemen. | London, | Printed for M.P. and are to be sold by | Thomas Jones, at the blacke Raven, in | the Strand. 1625.

(C) The | Scornefull | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was now lately Acted (with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, | at the Blacke-Fryers. | Written | By Fran: Beaumont, and Jo: Fletcher, | Gentlemen. | The third Edition. | London. | Printed by B.A. and T.F. for T. Jones, and are to be sold at his | Shop in St. Dunstans Church-yard in Fleet-street. | 1630.

(D) The | Scornfull | Ladie. | A Comedy. | As it was now lately Acted (with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, | at the Blacke-Fryers. | Written by Francis Beaymont, and John Fletcher, Gentlemen. | The fourth Edition. | London, | Printed by A.M. 1635.

(E) The | Scornfull | Lady. | A Comedy. | As it was now lately Acted (with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, [at the Blacke-Fryers. | Written by Francis Beaumont, and John Fletcher. Gentlemen. | The fift Edition. | London, | Printed by M.P. for Robert Wilson, and are to be sold at | his shop in Holborne at Grayes-Inne Gate. | 1639.

(F) The | Scornfull | Lady. | A Comedy. | As it was Acted (with great applause) by | the late Kings Majesties Servants, | at the Black-Fryers. | Written by Francis Beaumont, and John Fletcher. Gentlemen. | The sixt Edition, Corrected and | amended. | London: | Printed for Humphrey Moseley, and are to be sold at his Shop | at the Princes Armes in St. Pauls Church-yard. 1651. (The British Museum copy lacks the printer's device on the title-page, possessed by other copies seen; it varies also slightly in spelling etc.)

(G) The | Scornful | Lady: | A | Comedy. | As it is now Acted at the | Theater Royal, | by | His Majesties Servants. | Written by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher Gent. | The Seventh Edition. | London: | Printed by A. Maxwell and R. Roberts, for D.N. and T.C. and are | to be sold by Simon Neale, at the Three Pidgeons in | Bedford-street in Covent-Garden, 1677.

p. 231,
l. 5. A omits list of Persons Represented in the Play.
B--E print the list on the back of the title-page, under the
heading 'The Actors are these.'
In F and G the same list is printed on a separate page following
the title-page.
G] The Names of the Actors.
l. 8. B and C] the eldest. D--G] the elder.

p. 232, l. 1. A] a Userer. l. 4. A] Savill make the boate stay. B _prints_ '_Savil._ Make the boat stay,' as if the rest of the speech were spoken by Savil. C--G for '_Savil_' print '_Yo. Lo._,' thus giving the words to Young Loveless. l. 9. E and G] at home marry. l. 10. A--E and G] your countrey. F] your own country. A and B] then to travell for diseases, and returne following the Court in a nightcap, and die without issue. l. 15. Here and throughout the scene for 'Younglove' D--G] Abigall. l. 16. A--C] Mistres. D] Mistrisse. E--G] Mistris. l. 22. A and B] for me. l. 33. E--G _omit_] Exit.

p. 233, l. 2. G] acted Loves. l. 3. A, B and E--G] murtherers. l. 6. A and B] that shall be. l. 12. A--G] woman. l. 25. A--G _omit_] and. l. 31. F] out there. l. 35. D--G for _Younglove_] Abigall.

p. 234, l. 5. F] time of place. l. 16. E--G _omit_] Yes. l. 19. E--G] that can. l. 27. F] deadfull. l. 37. G] and put. l. 39. A and B] with you for laughter.

p. 235, l. 10. A and B] and so you satisfied. l. 17. B] doeth. l. 28. A] Hipochrists. E and F] Hipocrasse. G] Hippocrass. l. 34. A and B] his yeere. l. 31. G] said she.

p. 236, l. 9. B] doeth. D and E] with you. l. 17. G _omits one_] that. l. 19. G] I'le live.

p. 237, l. 1. A and B] with three guards. l. 4. D] wesse. E--G] wisse. l. 10. D--G] Abigall. l. 14. E--G] happily. l. 21. A--E] may call. l. 25. A--G] as on others. A--G _omit_] that. l. 27. A--G] A my credit. l. 30. A and B] beginnings. l. 31. G] maid. l. 32. E and G] bed. l. 33. D--G] doe you not. l. 35. D--G] Abigall.

p. 238, l. 2. A and B] rid hard. l. 25. A] other woemen the housholds of. B--G] of the households. G] of as good. l. 28. F and G] tho not so coy. D--G] Abigall. l. 36. A--G] God.

p. 239, l. 7. G] Call'd. l. 17. A] your names. l. 32. A] the weomen. l. 33. A and B] an needlesse. E--G _omit_] a. F] her comes. G _and sometimes_ F] here comes.

p. 240, l. 4. E--G _omit_] of. F and G] I do inculcate Divine Homilies. l. 13. G] man neglect. l. 16. A and B] I pray ye. A--G] and whilst. l. 19. B] your Lay. l. 20. C--F] ingenuous. l. 23. A] I shall beate. l. 25. A--E] forget one, who. F and G] forget then who. l. 34. A and B] how Hoppes goe.

p. 241, l. 6. A--G] to keep. l. 14. F and G] like a Gentlemen. l. 15. F _omits_] me. l. 23. D--G] Yet, that. l. 25. A--E _omit_] of. F and G] Ile here no more, this is. l. 30. A--E and G] comes. l. 39. A] Gent.

p. 242, l. 6. A--G _omit_] etc. l. 7. B--G] help all. l. 22. A and B] warre, that cries. l. 27. G] has knockt. l. 32. D--G _omit_] even. A--G] a conscience. l. 34. A--E _omit_] he.

p. 243, l. 6. E--G] pound. l. 11. A and B] We will have nobody talke wisely neither. F] Will you not. l. 17. A--C] ath Coram. l. 25. F and G _omit_] that. l. 27. F and G] sir, to expound it. l. 28. 2nd Folio _misprints_] iuterpretation. l. 37. A and B _omit_] Sir. l. 40. F _omits_] keep.

p. 244, l. 1. F and G _add after_ part] Savil. l. 6. D--G _add_] Finis Actus Primus. F and G _add_] _Omnes._ O brave Loveless! (F=Lovelace) Exeunt omnes. l. 12. F and G _omit_] Lady. l. 13. F and G] that complaint. l. 28. F and G] it loveth. l. 34. A] premised.

p. 245, l. 11. D--G] reprov'd him. l. 22. F and G] hath made. l. 23. A and B _misprint_] Maria. l. 25. F and G] with a. l. 27. A and B] He's fast. l. 39. F and G _omit_] Sir.

p. 246, l. 4. A, B and G] Gentlewoman. l. 23. G _omits_] indeed. l. 26. F and G] smile hath. l. 28. A--E and G] cropping off. l. 34. E and G] meditations. l. 36. F and G] and experience the. E--G] collection. l. 39. F and G] thus to.

p. 248, ll. 3 and 4. G] and fornication. l. 24. A and G] set.

p. 249, l. 10. A--C, E--G] appeares. l. 11. A] drown. l. 12. G] Sir Aeneas. l. 34. A and B] Gentlewoman.

p. 250, l. 15. A--G] a Gods name.

p. 251, l. 11. A and B _add_] Drinke to my friend Captaine. l. 14. A, B, F and G _add at end_] Sir. l. 15. A--G] cursie. F] a tittle. l. 16. G] would strive, Sir. F] I will strive, Sir. l. 22. Second Folio _misprints_] Youn. l. 24. A] to feede more fishes. l. 30. F and G] pray you let. l. 34. A] a ful rouse. ll. 36 and 37. D and F] I bear. l. 39. A--G] a your knees.

p. 252, l. 12. A] finde. l. 32. F and G _for_ Capt. (character) _read_ Sav. _and add_ 'Let's in and drink and give' etc.

p. 253, l. 5. F and G] be you your. l. 27. D--F] love chamber. G] dares. l. 34. A--C] will stoop. l. 35. A] feede ill. l. 36. A--G] which for I was his wife and gave way to. l. 39. F] in patience of.

p. 254, l. 1. D and E] gossip too. l. 3. E and F] from whence. l. 9. F _misprints_] crown'd at. l. 21. E--G] have the money. l. 23. F and G] provided my wise. l. 26. F] Here's here. ll. 30 and 31. F and G] for thine. l. 32. F _omits_] well.

p. 255, l. 1. A] the faith. l. 11. D--G] mony fit for. l. 13. A--D, F and G] afore. l. 14. G _omits_] all. ll. 18 and 19. D--G] turne up. l. 20. G] Ship. l. 22. G] poor man. l. 26. D, F and G] against the. l. 28. A--G] thy staffe of office there, thy pen and Ink-horne. Noble boy. l. 29. A] sed. ll. 30 and 31. A--G] thy seat. l. 34. F and G] men immortal. l. 37. A] that shall. l. 40. A] What meane they Captaine.

p. 256, l. 8. F and G] pounds. l. 9. F and G] by this hand. l. 13. F and G] There is six Angels in earnest. l. 17. A] all in. l. 25. F and G _omit_] so be it. l. 35. A and B] at charge. l. 40. A--G _add_] Finis Actus Secundi.

p. 257, l. 2. A _omits_] and drops her glove. l. 3. A--C] tels. l. 8. A, B and D--G] Lenvoy. l. 16. F and G] No, Sir.

p. 258, l. 10. D, E and G] come here to speak with. l. 18. F and G] I say I. l. 26. A _misprints_] ralkt. F and G] with the. l. 29. F and G] Troth guess. l. 33. F] Gentlewomen. l. 36. A and B] But one, I am. C] or Woman.

p. 259, l. 1. A] shall not you. l. 16. A--C and E--G] no such. l. 19. A--C and E--G] tender Sir, whose gentle bloud. l. 29. A _omits_] be. l. 31. A and G] as he. l. 34. A _omits_] They draw. l. 36. F and G _omit_] Jesus.

p. 260, l. 4. A and B _omit_] Why. l. 11. F] but none so. l. 26. A]wilde. B, C and E--G] vild. l. 31. F and G] sword. l. 33. B and G] a hazard.

p. 261, l. 1. A and B] which is prone inough. C--G] are prone. l. 5. A] anger lost. l. 10. F and G] least share in. l. 25. D, F and G] are you. l. 33. A and B] self from such temptations. G] self from temptations. l. 34. A--D, F and G] Pray leape. G] the matter. C] whether would. l. 38. A--C, E and G] should.

p. 262, l. 6. F and G _omit_] a. l. 11. A--C] see. l. 12. E] Of any. l. 20. F and G] his ruin. l. 27. C _omits_] him. E--G] with these. l. 37. E--G] leave them to others. l. 40. C] works a mine.

p. 263, l. 13. A] certaine. l. 18. E--G] spoken. l. 19. F] ask you. l. 20. E--G] forward. l. 32. G] hard-hearted. l. 35. F and G] me to do.

p. 264, l. 4. E--G] could redeem. l. 10. D, F and G] This. l. 24. A] you have so. l. 27. E and G] By this light.

p. 265, l. 10. F] by your troth. l. 11. A] could. l. 15. C] cold meats. l. 23. F and G] we would. l. 27. F and G] that thou art here. l. 29. F and G] use thee. l. 33. A and B] offending. l. 34. F and G] Thou art nothing ... for love's sake.

p. 266, l. 3. G _omits_] I hope. l. 13. F and G] thy face. l. 14. A--G _omit_] for. ll. 21 and 22. F and G] companion. l. 25. A] amable. l. 38. G _adds at end_] I hope.