Chapter XII: Letter II: "February 24, 1787

"Dear Friend,--After an interval of silence, remembering my promise, I
again continue my story.

"My personal sufferings have not been less than those of Trenck. His,
I am acquainted with only from the inaccurate relations I have heard:
my own I have felt. A colonel in the Prussian service, whose name was
Hallasch, was four years my companion; he was insane, and believed
himself the Christ that was to appear at the millennium: he persecuted
me with his reveries, which I was obliged to listen to, and approve,
or suffer violence from one stronger than myself.

"The society of men or books, everything that could console or amuse,
were forbidden me; and I considered it as wonderful that I did not
myself grow mad, in the company of this madman. Four hard winters I
existed without feeling the feeble emanation of a winter sun, much
less the warmth of fire. The madman felt more pity than my keeper,
and lent me his cloak to cover my body, though the other denied me a
truss of straw, notwithstanding I had lost the use of my hands and
feet. The place where we were confined was called a chamber; it
rather resembled the temple of Cloacina. The noxious damps and
vapours so poisoned my blood that an unskilful surgeon, who tortured
me during nine months, with insult as a Prussian traitor, and state
criminal, I lost the greatest part of my jaw.

"Schottendorf was our governor and tyrant; a man who repaid the
friendship he found in the mansion of my fathers--with cruelty. He
was ripe for the sickle, and Time cut him off. Tormentini and Galer
were his successors in office, by them we were carefully watched, but
we were treated with commiseration. Their precautions rendered
imprisonment less wretched. Ever shall I hold their memory sacred.
Yet, benevolent as they were, their goodness was exceeded by that of
Rottensteiner, the head gaoler. He considered his prisoners as his
children; and he was their benefactor. Of this I had experience,
during two years after the release of Hallasch.

"Here I but cursorily describe misery, at which the monarch shall
shudder, if the blood of a tyrant flow not in his veins. Theresa
could not wish these things. But she was fallible, and not
omniscient.

"From the above narrative, you will perceive how opposite the effects
must be which the histories of Baron Trenck and of myself must
produce.

"Trenck left his dungeon shielded from contempt; the day of freedom
was the day of triumph. I, on the contrary, was exposed to every
calamity. The spirit of Trenck again raised itself. I have laboured
many a night that I might neither beg nor perish the following day:
working for judges who neither knew law nor had powers of mind to
behold the beauty of justice: settling accounts that, item after item,
did not prove that the lord they were intended for, was an imbecile
dupe.

"Trenck remembers his calamities, but the remembrance is advantageous
to himself and his family; while with me, the past did but increase,
did but agonise, the present and the future. He was not like me,
obliged to crouch in presence of those vulgar, those incapable minds,
that do but consider the bent back as the footstool of pride. Every
man is too busy to act in behalf of others; pity me therefore, but
advise me not to hope assistance, by petitioning princes at second
hand. I know your good wishes, and, for these, I have nothing to
return but barren thanks.--I am, &c."

The reasons why I published the foregoing letters are already stated, and will appear satisfactory to the reader. Once more to affairs that concern myself.

I met at Berlin many old friends of both sexes; among others, an aged invalid came to see me, who was at Glatz, in 1746, when I cut my way through the guard. He was one of the sentinels before my door, whom I had thrown down the stairs.

The hour of quitting Berlin, and continuing my journey into Prussia, towards Konigsberg, approached. On the eve of my departure, I had the happiness of conversing with her Royal Highness the Princess Amelia, sister of Frederic the Great. She protected me in my hour of adversity; heaped benefits upon me, and contributed to gain my deliverance. She received me as a friend, as an aged patriot; and laid her commands upon me to write to my wife, and request that she would come to Berlin, in the month of June, with her two eldest daughters. I received her promise that the happiness of the latter should be her care; nay, that she would remember my wife in her will.

At this moment, when about to depart, she asked me if I had money sufficient for my journey: "Yes, madam," was my reply; "I want nothing, ask nothing; but may you remember my children!"

The deep feeling with which I pronounced these words moved the princess; she showed me how she comprehended my meaning, and said, "Return, my friend, quickly: I shall be most happy to see you."

I left the room: a kind of indecision came over me. I was inclined to remain longer at Berlin. Had I done so, my presence would have been of great advantage to my children. Alas! under the guidance of my evil genius, I began my journey. The purpose for which I came to Berlin was frustrated: for after my departure, the Princess Amelia died!

Peace be to thy ashes, noble princess! Thy will was good, and be that sufficient. I shall not want materials to write a commentary on the history of Frederic, when, in company with thee, I shall wander on the banks of Styx; there the events that happened on this earth may be written without danger.

So proceed we with our story.