Chapter XXII

We now behold Angelo ruined, and unnoticed by his worldly friends, pillaged and deserted by an abandoned mistress, forsaken even by the child he loved, forgotten and shunned in his adversity by all, save Gabrielle, by all save her whom in his prosperity he had insulted, injured, and betrayed. She, and she alone, was his firm sheet anchor in the storm; his friend, his comforter, she accompanied him to a wretched abode, far, far different indeed to those he had been accustomed to, an abode, such as would have excited the contempt of ephemeral friends, and which none would have entered who loved him not for himself alone.

Gabrielle entered it, and smiled like his guardian angel upon the desolate walls; her smile was a ray of light through his bosom, it revealed at once comfort and despair, for it showed him to himself unworthy of the bliss of calling such a creature his!

Yet in justice to the superior soul of Gabrielle be it said, that all benignant as she was, the compassion which she showed towards Angelo was no longer in any degree the effect of an idolatrous love, neither could former duties longer influence her, but it sprang from a native and transcendent generosity; tender, forbearing and patient as she was, she possessed a proud mind.

The primary source of her endurance in unparalleled suffering, was not in a mean, selfish, or ignoble passion, which crouched most abject beneath ill treatment, and which no indignities, no cruelty could alter; not in such source did it originate, but in her duty to her children; to bear and forbear, for _them_, she deemed not disgrace, but glorious martyrdom! Fatal and unforeseen events had exonerated her from this sacred and painful duty, fraught throughout with bitterness and severest trial.

Firm and unshrinking she had bared her bosom to the darts levelled against it; now she beheld him who had loaded her with remorse and anguish, beheld him distressed, agonized, humbled to the dust. It was not surely in the most abject nature still to love! it could belong only to the most noble still to pity! Such was Gabrielle’s, she could cherish neither hate nor revenge against him she had loved once, neither could she still love when her firm mind had received conviction that the object was at heart unworthy--but this precluded not pity, and she felt it a duty incumbent on her to perform from that, all that the profoundest and most invincible love could have dictated. Exalted was the soul of Gabrielle, and beautiful her religion, which taught her charity towards every one’s errors but her own.

Thus then the unhappy Angelo received from her unwearied attention; she sought as much as possible to detach his mind from dwelling on his situation, and exerted herself to cheer and to soothe him by such reasoning as was suggested by the divine influence of fervent piety, that looks not with a vain sorrow upon the afflictions of this life, but extracts from them the sacred hope of future _better_ existence, for which _sorrow_ best purifies the soul!

All was however vain: Angelo possessed not the towering mind of his comforter, he could not rise superior to the influence of situation, he felt himself a wretch within and without, surrounding circumstances filled him with dismay, and his conscience loaded him with reproach.

Nature by degrees became overpowered, he sunk into an alarming malady, and incapable of opposing by energy or reason that useless regret and ceaseless repining which aggravated his disorder, he was compelled to resort to his bed, from whence never more he expected to arise. Mean time Gabrielle, who laboured under a malady far more dangerous than that of Angelo, the malady of the _heart_, who had been for long supported by her energies alone, now found it necessary doubly to exert herself, and to become the nurse and attendant of Angelo, as she was his only stay and hope.

It was requisite however to call in medical aid, and this, together with the additional expences incurred by his illness, began to shew the alarming probability that such calls might ensue as she would be unprepared to answer.

During the desertion of Angelo her expenditure, never prodigal, had been considerably abridged; it was owing to this circumstance that she had been hitherto enabled to compass the difficulties that had occurred, and to assist Angelo when he no longer possessed resources for himself. Her rational and anticipating mind, had not failed to suggest to her, that in order to preserve themselves from future dreadful embarrassment, it would be necessary that some plan should be resorted to, to prolong their present trifling means of subsistence.

The whole treasure they mutually possessed were the jewels of Gabrielle, and a small sum in specie. These of themselves could not long suffice, and hence the necessity conceived by Gabrielle of concerting some plan for future support, ere the present means should be entirely exhausted. The illness of Angelo, however, deranged and frustrated her intentions; already she had found it requisite to part with a few of her most inconsiderable ornaments; and learning from the physician she had employed for him, that he conceived him in a state which would render it prudent to call in other advice, she perceived there would exist an inevitable occasion for parting immediately with the most valuable ones.

The recovery of Angelo being a primary object, she determined that every consideration should yield to it, whether of calculating prudence or otherwise. As soon therefore as the physician who, after visiting him declared his opinion to Gabrielle, had departed, she returned into the chamber of Angelo, and approached his bedside.

With that eager anxiety, which in sickness is naturally manifested towards one whom experience has proved to be the only earthly being interested in their welfare, Angelo, soon as he saw her, stretched forth his feverish hands, and in a faint voice exclaimed, “Oh, Gabrielle, tell me, am I to live or die?”

“Live, assuredly,” she replied with a celestial smile, and tenderly taking his hand. The indisposition of Angelo was chiefly occasioned by the indulgence of a useless and consuming grief, which he had neither fortitude nor energy to repel, rather than any real bodily ailment. It was a strong affection of the nervous system, accompanied by deep depression of spirits and extreme irritability, which rendered his malady more alarming than dangerous.

Frequently trifles would overcome him so much that he would burst into tears; thus the feebleness of his mind increased his physical debility, and rendered him incapable of the smallest exertion.

Now that he beheld Gabrielle standing beside him, and looking upon him with that tender benignant countenance, he was suddenly struck with the remembrance of the evils he had brought upon her, and could not avoid contrasting his conduct with the generosity and magnanimity of her’s toward him; the impression was too strong for his disorganized feelings, tears rushed to his eyes, and incapable of restraining his emotion, he sobbed aloud. Gabrielle, infinitely affected, sat beside him, and endeavoured her utmost to sooth: by degrees she succeeded, and when she observed him calm, she said, “Angelo, it will be requisite that for a short time I should leave you; will you promise me that you will endeavour to sleep? I shall then have the satisfaction of knowing that you will not want any thing during my absence.”

“What, are _you_ going to desert me too at last?” cried he, in a mournful voice.

“But I will return immediately; will you not trust me, Angelo?”

“And if I should die in your absence, who will care for the wretched Angelo? who will visit his cold corpse?--no one, no. Ah! who would ever have thought such could have been my fate?” At this he shed bitter though silent tears, while Gabrielle almost wept to perceive such lamentable imbecility of mind; but fearing to increase by joining in this vain depression, she subdued her emotion, and cried, “Oh, my dear Angelo, you must conquer these melancholy ideas; believe me it is a weakness, wholly unworthy you. If you desire that I should not quit you at present, most certainly I will not; yet if for a few moments you could permit, I should rather, for sooner or later I must;--I will procure you an attendant during my absence.”

“An attendant!” exclaimed Angelo, “what! would you leave me to the mercy of hired wretches?--Oh, my God! let me die at once, if such is to be my lot.”

Gabrielle, who had arisen, now patiently resumed her seat beside him; she thought it useless and improper to irritate him by further argument, and secretly determined that if, as she hoped, he should fall into a slumber, she would seize that opportunity of escaping to dispose of her jewels, and return home with all the speed in her power. Angelo remained silent for a considerable time; Gabrielle flattered herself he was asleep, and to ascertain, she made a gentle movement to rise. Immediately Angelo with a violent start drew the curtains aside; his face was pale as death, over which his dark hair hanging dishevelled, gave him an air of wildness.

“Gabrielle! for God’s sake do not leave me yet,” he cried; “I think I shall be better in a little time, and able to bear your absence; but will you not inform me where you are so desirous of going?”

From the air of alarm visible in his countenance, the idea now first struck Gabrielle that he really apprehended she intended if possible to escape from him, and desert him. Feeling for the horror with which such an idea must impress his weakened mind, and anxious that for a moment even he should not continue to indulge it, she decided rather to acknowledge to him the real object of her mission abroad, though under other circumstances she would infinitely have preferred the concealment of it, lest it should give to his heart a pang she could spare him. Looking at him with a smile therefore, she said, “Since you are so desirous of knowing my motive, I will not disguise it from you, and then I hope you will have no further hesitation at parting with me for a few moments. I have some jewels, which are altogether useless to me, in our present state--my object is to dispose of them, as--as I have occasion for money.”

Angelo with a sudden spring raised his weak frame in the bed; he fixed his eyes upon Gabrielle with a wild stare, his features were convulsed, and in a faltering voice he said, “What--what jewels do you mean?”

“I will shew them to you,” answered Gabrielle, wishing to divert his emotion, which she attributed solely to the sad necessity she had inferred of parting with her jewels, and rising, she approached a small trunk in the room, from which she took those she had intended to dispose of, and brought them to Angelo. The instant he cast his eyes upon them he uttered a groan of anguish, his lips quivered, he clasped his hands together, and sinking back, he faintly murmured “They are false!--they are false!”

“False!” cried Gabrielle, who beheld with horror, if Angelo spoke reason, her best hopes destroyed; “False, said you?”

“Oh! yes, yes,” groaned the agonised Angelo, “_I robbed_ you of yours, and placed those in their stead! I----” Overcome by his terrible feelings, he made a frenzied attempt to spring from the bed, and cast himself upon the floors the feeble strength of Gabrielle opposed itself to his, she with difficulty retained him in bed, and in a state of insensibility his beating head fell heavy upon the pillow.

Alone, unaided, Gabrielle applied herself to his restoration; by degrees he recovered from apparent death, but it was only to vent in delirium his weakened powers; he raved aloud--he inflicted blows upon his shattered frame; and the overpowered Gabrielle, finding it longer impossible to cope with him, beheld herself under the painful necessity of calling in other aid; and absolutely exhausted, Angelo at length fell into a sleep, deep and profound as the sleep of the tomb.

Gabrielle seized that opportunity of leaving the room for a moment, and without quitting the house, found she could procure for him an attendant, one of those persons who, in offering their services for the sick, have no other idea than of the emolument to be thus derived, and whose sources of livelihood are in the misfortunes, sickness, and distress of others. This being, Gabrielle was however glad upon any terms to hire, and every step she took convinced her more and more of the necessity there existed of obtaining some speedy means of compassing her encreased expences.

As the mind of Angelo could not at this juncture be considered in a state of sanity, the introduction of a stranger into his apartment could excite no unpleasant feelings.

With a heavy heart, Gabrielle then proceeded to gather together such other ornaments as she still possessed, and made a selection from them of those she considered most valuable, and capable of supplying present exigencies. Reluctantly then resigning to the care of the attendant the still sleeping Angelo, she hastily departed to dispose of them the best she could.

Unfortunately for her, however, she discovered that the worst possible period of attempting to obtain money, is precisely that in which it is most needed. Those to whom she applied, easily perceived, that though she wished to obtain for her jewels the utmost that she could, in default of obtaining what she wished, she must of necessity take what she could procure; this was enough, the extremity so dreadful for her, was their harvest, and that advantage was unfeelingly reaped from her distress, which perhaps had not otherwise been thought of; for one half of the world lives and flourishes by the misfortunes or follies of the other half. Thus she was compelled to accept a fourth part only of what she had flattered herself with easily obtaining, and returned to her chearless home with a heavier heart than she had left it, and her mind filled with gloomiest forebodings of the future.

At length the physicians who had been called in, either in compassion for the evident embarrassment of her situation, or under apprehension that their attendance and advice must ultimately remain unpaid, informed her that they had ascertained the malady of Angelo to arise solely from an undue irritation of the nerves, that it was more of the mind than of the body, consequently irremediable by the art of medicine, and that they therefore could be of no further service.

Such being the decision of the physicians, Gabrielle was once more determined to undertake alone the charge and restoration of Angelo; she dismissed, therefore, the attendant she had temporarily hired, (who in daily expectation of his death had anticipated from the anguish of Gabrielle, and her consequent indifference to worldly matters, no inconsiderable booty, of which she was thus disappointed,) and enacted herself at once into nurse, physician, and attendant, and by her judicious management and tender care had soon the happiness of beholding Angelo in a gradual state of amendment.

He recovered perfectly his reason, and his body being so much debilitated by sickness, he was no longer subject to paroxysms of delirium. In a short time he became enabled to quit his bed for several hours in the course of the day, and ultimately to forsake it altogether. But this change was not produced by magic, it cost the patient persevering Gabrielle infinite pain, distress of mind, and the privation of almost every comfort in existence; her care was unremitting, indefatigable, she scarcely slept by night, or rested during the day, and intent on procuring for Angelo every nourishment that might restore his strength, she almost forgot to take any for herself, and remembered to do so only, when her failing powers informed her, that in order to support him, it was necessary she should support herself.

But the time was now arrived when the sufferings of Gabrielle were to exceed all she had hitherto experienced. Till this period, though want had gleamed in perspective upon them, and well she knew that it must approach, if some means of keeping it at a distance were not devised, still want in perspective, and immediate want, are widely different, for the one is only imagined, while the other is felt; one excites apprehension, and the other despair.

Gabrielle had now parted with every article of value she possessed; next she had parted with all which the most rigid necessity did not compel her to retain, and now having nothing more left which might be bartered for subsistence, she with a shudder beheld that the gaunt fiend was rapidly approaching, and that if exertion were not instantly made to elude its fell grasp, soon it would overpower them.

Yet it was not for herself that Gabrielle felt or shuddered; to her, death would have been but a transition from perpetual misery to eternal peace, she would have hailed it with joy, embraced it with eagerness; but for the sufferings of another, she had not fortitude to die! all her anxiety was for Angelo, all her indifference for herself.

As Angelo was however now so much restored both in mind and body, he would permit her to leave him sometimes, and even with patience endure her absence. Thus when Gabrielle beheld that their means were so rapidly decreasing, and that ere long they must completely cease, she one day quitted him with the resolution of not returning till she had obtained some mean of certain subsistence, and to shrink from nothing, not in itself dishonourable, that might enable her yet a little longer to support with the forsaken Angelo the burthen of existence.

With this purpose therefore settled in her mind, though undecided as to the mode of pursuing it, she wandered along the populous streets, musing as she went, unobserved, or if observed, unnoticed; for her air bespoke unhappiness, and her attire poverty, appearances not calculated certainly to attract the pleasure-seeking eyes of the world. Who, indeed, need apprehend officious observation that under _such_ circumstances wanders forth!

Passing a print shop, accidentally she raised her eyes; she beheld in the window a various assortment of drawings, so placed as to strike the beholder to the best advantage; involuntarily she stopped, for she had an exquisite taste in drawing, which the departed Montmorency had delighted to cherish and improve, and an idea had flashed across her mind that induced her hastily to approach the window: she inspected the prints, and a modest sense of her own superior powers in designing and colouring such subjects as were before her, consisting chiefly of flowers, caused her pale cheek to mantle with a conscious blush, and yielding to the sudden impulse which actuated her, timidly she entered the shop.

The cold money-getting face of the man within damped in an instant her rising hopes and deranged her ideas. She was aroused however by the complaisant inquiry of what she desired, and forcing herself by an effort to overcome the emotion of shame, so naturally felt by a noble mind when for the first time it beholds itself in the novel situation of dependance, she faltered out an intimation that she would be happy to be employed in that branch of his merchandise which consisted in flower painting. She stopped, and the unusual throbbing of her heart informed her, that for the first time she had asked _a favour_!

From the obsequious, kind and smiling countenance of the man who sells his goods, and _receives_ for them money, this person’s changed suddenly to the proud, consequential, and imposing countenance of the man who purchases, and _gives_ money; for there is a wide difference with beings of this description, between the act of receiving even the merest trifle, and that of giving it; the first still leaves them in the rank of the person obliged, the latter places them in the important and unusual light of having conferred a favour.

Of these opposite positions the person whom Gabrielle addressed was perfectly sensible; he therefore in a careless and familiar tone replied that he had no objection to oblige her if she was in _distress_, though he had already more applications than he could attend to, and more hands than he knew how to employ; he concluded by observing that the difficulties of the times were great, and that he could not undertake to promise any great consideration for the very best style of painting.

All this the proud daughter of Montmorency bore, for she felt that her purpose was good: the difficulty of compassing that which required to be done, always strung her energies anew; she acceded therefore to the hard terms and mercenary stipulations of the shopkeeper, with an anguished smile, and returned home with employment sufficient for several days.

Gabrielle was again in a novel situation, that of labouring for a livelihood; still she acquitted herself, as hitherto she had done, to admiration. “Oh! spirit of my father!” would she ejaculate, “could’st thou look down from thy bright abode, thou would’st not disapprove; _this_ would not have vexed thy mortal pride to heart-breaking, for in this there is _no dishonour_!”

As she reflected that had she at this juncture been reduced to absolute want without the means of procuring even the morrow’s meal, Providence would thus have assisted her, and warded the horrors of such a day; she felt her heart glow with gratitude to the throne of beneficence, and with a pleasure such as for long she had not experienced.

Thus are we ever the creatures of immediate predicament; the circumstance which at one time to anticipate might have overwhelmed with despair, proves in its occurrence at another a source of rejoicing; events take their hue from the moment, and are only good or bad according to their comparative relations. Who could have imagined that the talents of Gabrielle, cultivated beneath the tender care and elegant instructions of her father, would ever have availed her as a mean of livelihood, or that she should consider herself fortunate in procuring with difficulty the opportunity of rendering them such? Yet thus it was, though only a few years back she would have viewed the bare possibility of present certainty with horror almost staggering belief.

Reaching home, Gabrielle applied with alacrity to her task, and, such is the divine effect of energy, felt even her mind lightened by such application, though confessedly for bread, and diverted from the contemplation of surrounding ills. But Angelo was incapable of emulating her, incapable even of attempting to do so; he could only gaze with wonder and admiration, without being animated by a portion of her heavenly fire; so true it is that great minds only can bear adversity. Gabrielle, though thus she laboured and exerted herself more for the benefit of the unhappy imbecile Angelo than for herself, endeavoured, with her genuine delicacy, to disguise that it was absolutely for support that she did so; she worked with cheerfulness, and sought rather to impress upon his mind that it was chiefly for amusement she thus occupied herself.

She dreaded he should feel that he depended upon her for subsistence, and her superior soul shrank from weighing him down with such a sense of obligation, and from a gratitude that, far from pleasing, would have distressed and shocked her.

But Angelo could not be for ever thus deceived; he beheld the incessant toil of this noble but unfortunate being; he beheld too that it was for him she toiled; the sense of his own unworthiness pressed heavy on his heart, and while it filled him with a profound melancholy, still further incapacitated him from what he would have considered a fruitless exertion to cope with or join his efforts to hers.

Often would he gaze upon the downcast, pale, and fading countenance, to which the gay flower she was painting and decking with all the animation of nature, formed, as it bloomed beneath her hand, a garish contrast. Often would he consider that while calling into artificial life by the magic of her pencil the frailest productions of nature, she was herself withering fast into real decay, perishing while she bade them bloom. Often then would he burst involuntarily into a passion of tears, throw himself at her feet, seize her wan hands, kiss them, and regard her with an anguish that defied the power of words.

In the mean time, however, the most active exertions could not balance her expences: as Angelo appeared still declining, she could not resist the desire of procuring for him every delicacy that she conceived likely to tempt or allure his sickly appetite, and though she lived upon the coarsest fare, and would not allow herself even a sufficiency of that, still daily she found her means becoming more and more inadequate, for though a miser, she was such to herself alone.

One evening that she was as usual busily employed, she felt a sudden weakness coming over her, her eyes grew dim, her head giddy, her trembling fingers relaxed their hold of the pencil, and unable to conquer the overpowering sensation, she sunk back in her chair.

Angelo, terrified, flew to her assistance; she made an effort, and with a languid smile entreated him not to be alarmed; scarce had she uttered the words, ere her heavy head, in which a thousand bells seemed jingling, dropped upon his shoulder, and her senses fled.

Now was Angelo compelled to exert himself; he took her in his arms and placed her on the bed, chafed her sunken temples and cold hands, shed over her torrents of tears, and in bitter anguish accused himself of having murdered the most angelic being upon earth; but had he known the true cause of Gabrielle’s indisposition, what then would have been his sensations, what his self-reproaches? The truth was, that intent as usual upon Angelo, and regardless of herself, she had expended almost the whole of the trifling sum she had in the morning obtained, in the purchase of a delicacy of which she knew Angelo to be extremely fond; it was however expensive as it was rare, and Gabrielle determined not to partake of it, that the gratification might be prolonged to Angelo.

Yet how evade his earnest persuasions? The idea suggested itself of affecting that she had taken refreshment while abroad, and was incapable of accepting more, though at the same time nothing had been further from her intentions, as such she would have deemed wanton expenditure, after having already gone far beyond what her slender means might authorize; and she promised herself that she should find no inconvenience in dispensing with an occasional meal, as long as by so doing she could procure some indulgences for Angelo.

But Gabrielle, neither apprehending, nor respecting the delicacy of her nature, acted more in conformity to its spirit than to its strength. In considering only the first, she over rated the last, and from dispensing in the commencement with one meal less a day, and sensible of no immediate injury, she next dispensed with two, and ultimately often with any. This was one of those days on which she had not tasted food, and had been without from an early hour on the day preceding. She had walked, exerted herself, added by various efforts to her exhaustion, and had ventured without allowing herself the smallest refreshment, to resume, as soon as other cares had been completed, her occupation. Nature however was no longer capable of enduring such cruel imposition, and sunk beneath the extraordinary efforts she required from it.

When by degrees she recovered from her swoon, she, became sensible of the cause that had induced it, and yielded to the entreaties of Angelo that she would take a little of the wine she had procured for him, which was one of those luxuries she still persisted in obtaining for him, and ever as resolutely refused to partake of. For the present however she consented to relax in a slight degree the severity of her laws against herself, and, as Angelo supported her in his arms, accepted from his hand a small portion of the wine, which considerably revived her, and she became enabled to rise from the bed, but still so much enfeebled as to be under the necessity of abstaining more reluctantly from her employment, though she was sufficiently imprudent to hazard the attempt.