Chapter XXIX

The Emperor Charles had received a letter from England, from Philip, who was now married to the Queen of that country.

"Sir and Father," the letter ran,--"It is matter of sore
displeasure to me that I should have to live in a country like
this where the accursed heretics swarm like fleas and worms and
locusts. Fire and sword are needed to remove them from the trunk
of that tree of life which is our Holy Mother the Church. And,
as if this were not trouble enough, I have also to put up with
being regarded not as a King but merely as the husband of the
Queen; for in very truth apart from her I am destitute of all
authority. And the English make mock of me, spreading broadcast
the most shameful pamphlets which assert that I am being bribed
by the Pope to afflict their country with every kind of impious
burning and persecution. Nor can I discover who it is that writes
these pamphlets, nor yet who prints them. And when I try to raise
from the people some necessary contribution (for in their malice
and wickedness they often leave me without any money at all),
they answer by advising me, in coarse lampoons, to ask of Satan
in whose pay I am. Parliament makes excuses for fear of my sting,
but I can get nothing out of them. And meanwhile the walls of
London are covered with the grossest pictures representing me
as a parricide who is ready to strike down your Majesty for the
sake of my inheritance. But well you know, my Lord and Father,
that notwithstanding all the hopes of a legitimate ambition,
I most certainly desire that your Majesty may enjoy yet long and
glorious years of rule. Furthermore, there are circulating through
the city certain engravings on copper which show me torturing
animals and laughing the while. But well you know, Sire, that if
ever it has happened to me to taste this profane pleasure, I have
surely never laughed thereat. But they try to make out that this
innocent sport is a sort of crime, despite the fact that animals
have no souls, and although it is assuredly permitted to all men,
especially if they be of Royal birth, to make use of brute beasts
even unto death for purposes of honest recreation. But in this
land of England the people are so fond of animals that they treat
their animals better than their own servants. The stables and
dog-kennels are kept like palaces, and I have known great lords
who pass the night on the same litter with their horse. To crown
all, my noble Wife and Queen is barren, and these people have the
outrageous effrontery to declare that I am to blame and not she,
who is in other respects a most jealous and intractable woman,
and amorous to excess. Sir and Father, I pray daily that the Lord
God may have me in his grace, and I live in hopes that another
throne may be given me, even though it be with the Turk, what
time I still await that other glorious throne to which I shall
be one day called by the honour of being the son of your very
Glorious and Victorious Majesty.

(Signed) Phle."

To this letter the Emperor made reply in the following terms:

"Sir and Son,--You have bitter enemies, I do not dispute it; but
you must try to endure them without vexation in anticipation of
the yet more brilliant crown that shall be yours hereafter. I have
already made it widely known that I am determined to retire from
my lordship over the Low Countries and other of my dominions,
for I am growing old and gouty, and I know that I shall not
long be able to withstand King Henry the Second of France, for
Fortune ever favours the young. You should remember also that
so long as you are master of England, you will be as a thorn in
the side of our enemy France. Truly I suffered a nasty defeat at
Metz, and lost there near forty thousand men. I was compelled
to retreat before the King of Saxony. If God does not soon see
fit by a stroke of His good and divine will to re-establish me
in the force and vigour of my prime, I am inclined, Sir and Son,
to quit my kingdoms altogether and to leave them to you.

"Have patience therefore, and do your duty meanwhile against the
heretics, sparing none of them, man, woman, girl, or child, for
I am credibly informed that Madame your Queen has been minded to
treat them mercifully, and this is a great grief to me.

"Your affectionate father,

"(Signed) Charles."