Chapter IV: Act III

_Garden of the_ REACH HASLAMS' _house in Palace Gardens. House
front to the left. At the back, shrubberies and trees. In centre,
an arbour or pergola, with the open side to the footlights. Under
the shelter of this a table, with remains of a meal._

TIME: _Next morning 4 a.m. Magnificent sunrise_.

CEDRIC _is sitting at the table, having finished eating. He is
still in evening dress, and dishevelled._

(_Enter_ CHARLES _through
shrubberies from back. He wears
the same costume as in previous
act, with hat, stick, etc._)

CEDRIC. Hello?

CHARLES. So _you're_ here, are you?

CEDRIC. (_Wiping his mouth._) I am.

CHARLES. Well, what's happened?

CEDRIC. What do you mean?

CHARLES. What do I mean? You and Flora, of course!

CEDRIC. Nothing more.

CHARLES. Then is it off?

CEDRIC. (_With a nervous laugh._) Right bang off! (_Pause._)

CHARLES. You look as if you'd been up all night.

CEDRIC. (_Nods._) What time is it? My watch has stopped.

CHARLES. About four. I'm a trifle late. (_Sits down to table._)
Well, my boy, I've got a bit of news for you. I don't know
whether it'll influence you, but---- (_startled_). Look here,
have you been eating my supper?

CEDRIC. Was it for you?

CHARLES. I must say this really is a bit too thick!

CEDRIC. How should I know it was for you?

CHARLES. Of course you knew!

CEDRIC. It was all laid here. The fact is, I went off to sleep. I
must have slept solid for about four hours. When I woke up just
now, I was as hungry as a dog, so I just--I never thought----

CHARLES. Never thought be damned!

CEDRIC. Awfully sorry. Here's some bread. What's this news?

CHARLES. (_Taking bread._) What's the good of being sorry? It was
entirely on account of you I had no tea yesterday and no dinner
either, and now I'm dashed if you haven't gone and eaten my
supper too!

CEDRIC. What's this news?

CHARLES. (_Eating._) If I hadn't had some sultana at the office I
don't know what I should have done. I've a good mind not to tell
you! (_Taking paper from his pocket._) Here! This is a second
edition, just off the machines (_opening paper_). Oh, curse! Mind
the ink! (_Looking at his hands, after giving paper to_ CEDRIC,
_who examines it_.) There you are! (_indicating a paragraph in
the paper_).

(CEDRIC _reads, then rises_.)

CEDRIC. (_After reflection._) See here, boy. You just go to bed out
of the way and don't ever let on that you've shown me this paper
or even knew what there was in it. Do you hear? (_Putting paper
in his pocket._)

CHARLES. I hear. But why?

CEDRIC. Never mind why.

CHARLES. But the newsagent will deliver the mater's copy here at
eight o'clock, and by half-past eight you may bet everybody in
the place----

CEDRIC. I'm going to do something long before eight o'clock.

CHARLES. What are you going to do?

CEDRIC. I'm going to see Flora, and tell her I've altered my view
completely. If she knew I'd seen the paper she'd be bound to
think I'd only come round because of _that_, and she wouldn't
listen to me--don't you see, idiot?

CHARLES. I see. But haven't you altered your view because of that?

CEDRIC. (_Coldly._) What's that got to do with you? The point is
that at any rate I can go honeymooning now with a free mind.
That's the point.

CHARLES. And do you reckon all this'll be on the straight?

CEDRIC. I don't care whether it's on the straight or not.
(_Savagely._) _I've got to have that woman_--confound her! and
I'm going to.

CHARLES. Where is she?

CEDRIC. She's in the spare room next to the mater's.

CHARLES. And how do you intend to get at her?

CEDRIC. I'm going to call her, and ask her to dress and come down
at once. Then I shall talk to her, here. With a bit of luck I may
be off with her and on the way to Colchester at six o'clock. Is
there plenty of petrol in the stable?

CHARLES. Yes. I say--it's not _right_, you know!

CEDRIC. Shut up. (_Going._) Did Fisher clean the car last night?

CHARLES. How do I know? He ought to have done. I say----

CEDRIC. (_Stopping._) Well?

CHARLES. I suppose you don't want any advice from me?

CEDRIC. No. (_Turns and stops again._) What?

CHARLES. I was only going to say that you'd better change those
clothes and make yourself look less of an absolute waster.

CEDRIC. Well, of course! I expect I can dress quicker than she can,
can't I? I've thought of all that.

(_He turns finally to leave._)

(_Enter_ FLORA _from house, meeting
him. She is fully dressed in
morning street attire, and
carries a handbag._)

FLORA. (_Staggered._) _Good_ morning!

CEDRIC. (_Staggered._) Good _morning_!

CHARLES. Hello, Flo! What's the meaning of this?

FLORA. Couldn't sleep.

CEDRIC. (_Hastily and nervously._) I shall be down in two jiffs.
(_Aside to_ CHARLES.) See you don't let her go. (_Exit into
house._)

FLORA. I guessed you'd be having your supper just about now. That's
why I came down here.

CHARLES. (_Pleased._) That's fine. Only I'm not having my supper.
Cedric's eaten it all. He's been out here all night, and he's
eaten it all--except this (_showing bread_).

FLORA. My poor boy! But here's a couple of bananas. Have you ever
tried banana sandwiches?

CHARLES. No. Are they any good?

FLORA. Are they any good! Never had a banana sandwich! Shall I make
you some?

CHARLES. I wish you would. (_Silence, while she sets about
sandwiches._)

FLORA. Well, how long shall I have to wait?

CHARLES. Wait?

FLORA. To hear what happened to Mr. Frampington, of course. Did
they take him in at Bow Street?

CHARLES. Oh, yes.

FLORA. Do you know--I'm rather sorry. Somehow I should have liked
him to get clear away. Here! (_Gives him a sandwich, which he
eats. Then solemnly_) Now, Charlie, I'm going. I want to be gone
before anybody's up.

CHARLES. What occurred last night?

FLORA. Oh! terrific scenes! terrific scenes! and I really can't
face your mother this morning at breakfast. I couldn't do it. And
it's quite unnecessary. So I'm going to the Great Western Hotel.
I shall pretend I've arrived by a night train. And I want you to
see that my trunks are brought there later. Here! (_Gives him
another sandwich._)

CHARLES. All serene! Thanks! (_After thought._) I say--_I_ rather
like Frampington, too.

FLORA. Why?

CHARLES. I don't know. It's due to him--somehow--I feel like you
feel.... I say, Flora, has it ever occurred to you that I'm a
mere cipher in this house?

FLORA. Really?

CHARLES. I'm nobody. I'm pitched about everywhere.

FLORA. You don't mean--my trunks?

CHARLES. Not a bit. Of course I don't. I mean the way they treat
me. Here Cedric's a perfect duke, in his own line. But will
he have me on the works? Not much. Says I must strike out for
myself, and all sorts of tommyrot. And in the end I'm set to
night-work like a blooming nigger. People might think we were
hard up for five quid a week, instead of simply rolling in
coin--rolling in it! Why shouldn't I go round the world or
something! I'm only twenty-two.

FLORA. That all?

CHARLES. I go out and work all night. Then I come home and discover
Cedric couldn't find anything better to do than eat my supper.
Five servants in this house. But do you suppose there'd have
been the least chance of me getting anything to eat before
eight o'clock, at the earliest, if you hadn't invented these
sandwiches? Not much! Thanks! (_Takes two more._) But that's not
what I meant. What I really meant was--who introduced my people
to you? I did. I knew you at the Baths Club six months before
his lordship Cedric and the mater kindly invited themselves to
have tea with me there, and then I didn't count any more! Cedric
simply shovelled me up and chucked me into a corner. In less
than twenty-four hours he was in love with you. But did he ask
my permission? Did he think about me for one instant? Not much!
The fact is, they simply make use of me ... and so--I rather like
Frampington. Understand?

FLORA. Yes.

CHARLES. Of course, I'm sorry about what's happened--as far as
you are concerned. But as far as Cedric's concerned, I can't
help thinking it serves him jolly well right. Cedric's too
cocksure--in everything.

FLORA. That's quite true.

CHARLES. (_Hesitating._) Yes.

FLORA. What else have you got on your mind?

CHARLES. Well, I don't know if I ought to tell you.

FLORA. Certainly you ought to tell me.

CHARLES. You think so?

FLORA. Unless, of course, you agree with all the things your dear
mother's been saying to me.

CHARLES. It's about Klopstock.

FLORA. About Klopstock?

CHARLES. He's had an accident.

FLORA. What?

CHARLES. Broken his leg.

FLORA. How? Came down too quickly?

CHARLES. No. Driving to his hotel last night his motor ran into a
statue of Bismarck, and he was thrown out.

FLORA. Motor cars are really too dangerous. I wonder any aviator
cares to trust himself to them.

CHARLES. (_Admiringly._) Now it's very funny. I often want to say
things like that, only I can never think of them. Cedric--he can
come out with them sometimes, and so can the dad. But you're the
only woman I ever struck that could.

FLORA. Charlie, you're a dear. I suppose he'll be laid up for five
or six weeks.

CHARLES. Who? Klopstock? You bet. You see what it means?

FLORA. Quite. What I don't see is why you should have hesitated to
tell me about it. I suppose you've told Cedric?

CHARLES. Yes. I brought an early copy of the paper with it in.

FLORA. Where is it?

CHARLES. Cedric's cleared off with it.

FLORA. Well, if Cedric knows, why shouldn't I?

CHARLES. Ask me another! Look here, I'm giving the show away, but
I've got my conscience to think of. This is a serious matter. I
mean--really serious! I don't like it, but it's my duty to warn
you.

FLORA. Well?

CHARLES. Cedric told me I wasn't to say a word. He said I wasn't to
let on that I'd told _him_.

FLORA. And did you promise?

CHARLES. I should think I didn't. Not me!

FLORA. Had Cedric been out here all _night_?

CHARLES. Yes. Told me he slept like a top in that chair, then woke
up and ate my supper.

FLORA. But why should he want you not to say anything about
Klopstock? (_Enter_ CEDRIC, _in a lounge suit, somewhat awry,
with a hat_. FLORA _continues in the same tone to_ CHARLES.)
Here, have this last one (_offering him another sandwich. To_
CEDRIC). It appears you've been eating what doesn't belong to
you. So I've done my best with bananas and stale bread to fill
the breach.

CHARLES. (_Nervous._) You've forgotten your hair, my boy.

CEDRIC. (_With a gesture; low to_ CHARLES.) Hook it! (_He repeats
the gesture._)

(_Exit_ CHARLES _unwillingly, into house_.)

FLORA. (_Primly._) I'm just going. I meant to leave before any of
you were up. I thought that would be the wisest thing to do. But
Charles begged me to stop and look after him a bit.

CEDRIC. What's he been entertaining you with?

FLORA. Oh! his grievances. They're rather real, you know.

CEDRIC. Do you know, when I went in just now I was meaning to knock
at your door and ask you to get up at once. Curious thing, that
you should have been coming downstairs at that very moment!

FLORA. Why this desire to begin the day so early?

CEDRIC. Look here, Flora, let's go, now! Fisher won't be up, but
the car's cleaned and there's plenty of petrol. Come on. Just you
and I.

FLORA. (_Innocently._) Where?

CEDRIC. Chelmsford. I can wake the Bishop and tell him we want
the job done at eight o'clock instead of twelve. Any old verger
and charwoman will do for witnesses. The thing will be all over
before the mater's out of bed. We can telephone to 'em from
Chelmsford with the pleasing news. (_Pause. As_ FLORA _says
nothing, he continues, rather less confidently_.) It'll give 'em
an appetite for breakfast.

FLORA. (_Ironically._) Any other details?

CEDRIC. (_With rough persuasiveness._) Come on!

FLORA. (_Ironically._) Then you've decided that we are to get
married, after all?

CEDRIC. Well, a marriage can't be broken off like--like this! It's
unthinkable. What would any unprejudiced outsider say, if he was
asked? He'd say we were off our blooming heads. The thing simply
won't bear examination. (_Moves towards her._) Come----

FLORA. And I'm to be carried by storm?.... Great saving of argument!

CEDRIC. Now listen----

FLORA. Well?

CEDRIC. Will you talk man to man? Straight?

FLORA. As one honest Injun to another!

CEDRIC. (_Picking up a dish off the table._) If you make one more
joke, I'll smash every darned bit of crockery on this table.
(_Gesture of destruction._)

FLORA. (_Coldly._) Now if I agree to listen quietly and talk
reasonably, it mustn't be understood that I'm open to argument.
(_Sits down._)

CEDRIC. All right, all right!

FLORA. Because I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. The thing that's--that's
really upset our applecart may seem perfectly childish to the
unprejudiced outsider. But I don't propose to consult the
unprejudiced outsider. Might as well take the case before a
jury and engage a couple of K.C.'s. You know as well as I know
that it isn't perfectly childish. It isn't childish at all. Its
fundamental. We've been unlucky. But then in another sense we've
been lucky. We're free. We aren't tied, thank Heaven. Man to man,
Cedric, it would be too much humiliation--yes, humiliation--for
me to marry anybody that looks on marriage as you look on it. And
as it's just as impossible for you to change your opinion as it
is for me to change mine, we shan't exactly go down to Colchester
this morning.... More's the pity.

CEDRIC. Well, I _have_ changed my opinion. So let's go.

FLORA. You've changed your opinion? How have you changed your
opinion?

CEDRIC. I've sat there all this blessed night thinking it over.

FLORA. Really?

CEDRIC. Yes. Do you suppose I could sleep any more than you could?
What do you take me for? The more I thought it over, the more I
saw I'd been mistaken. Now--half a minute! I can't honestly blame
myself, you know. And so I won't pretend to--especially as we're
talking straight. I told you what I felt, right out, and then
I offered to give way. I couldn't do anything else. Well, you
wouldn't have that. Mind you, I think you were quite right in
refusing to let me give way against my better judgment. I admire
you for that even more than I did. But I don't give way now
against my judgment--I give way with it.

FLORA. But how has your judgment altered? Why?

CEDRIC. I don't know. How _do_ people's judgments alter? I
gradually saw the force of what you'd said. _Of course_ a man's
marriage must come in front of everything else! _Of course_ the
idea of letting any business matter interfere with the honeymoon
is monstrous! I cannot imagine how it was I couldn't see that
yesterday. The only explanation is that up to yesterday I'd never
lived for anything except my job. Force of habit! One has to get
a bit used to a new state of affairs. I suppose it was the sudden
shock of the news that sent me a bit off the track. Look here,
Flora, you don't want me to go on in this strain. You don't want
me to grovel. I'm not the grovelling sort ... I was mistaken.

FLORA. (_In a new quiet tone._) Cedric, what happened in your
mother's study after I went upstairs last night?

CEDRIC. Nothing whatever. I cleared out instantly afterwards.
I've been here ever since, and I haven't spoken to a soul except
Charlie. Why?

FLORA. Nothing.

CEDRIC. But why do you say "Nothing" like that?

FLORA. Cedric, I was just wondering how this conversation of yours
really did come about. It occurred to me that perhaps something
might have happened--in business----

CEDRIC. (_Nervous._) How--"something"--in business?

FLORA. Something--I don't know--something that would leave you
free after all for a full month, so that in being converted you
wouldn't have to sacrifice anything at all.

CEDRIC. But how could anything have happened?

FLORA. I don't know, but with that telephone so handy in your
mother's study---- All manner of things happen nowadays over the
telephone--especially in the middle of the night.

CEDRIC. (_Relieved. Affecting a cheerful irony._) What notions
she does get into her head! My dear girl, nothing whatever
has happened--so far as I know. Of course nothing _could_. My
conversion, as you call it, is due simply and solely to my
thinking things over.

FLORA. Honour bright?

CEDRIC. (_Firmly._) Certainly!... Then you really imagined I was
capable of such a--you couldn't trust me----

FLORA. It isn't _you_ I couldn't trust. It's the human nature _in_
you that I had my doubts about. It's always so apt to get the
better of people, and make them play tricks they'd never dream of
by themselves.

CEDRIC. (_Shocked but forgiving._) Fluff!

FLORA. (_Somewhat coldly._) I'm only being man to man.

CEDRIC. Look here, Flora, it's barely twelve hours since that
vulgar idiot Klopstock shoved himself into our honeymoon. Barely
twelve hours. We were in love with each other up till then,
weren't we? (_Silence._) Weren't we?

FLORA. (_Primly._) Yes.

CEDRIC. Very much? (_Silence._) I say very much?

FLORA. (_More primly._) Yes.

CEDRIC. Well, if you know as much about human nature as you make
out, you know perfectly well that we must still be very much in
love with each other. I mean _now, here_! Anyone might think, to
hear some of the talk that went on last night, and even to see us
at this moment, that we didn't care twopence for each other. But
a passion won't be knocked on the head like that. You can't get
over it--we're still damnably in love. We've had a row--good!
It's been an infernal nuisance--good! I've been an ass, if you
like--good! And what then? You're in love with a man who's been
an ass--that's all. But you _are_ in love with him. Moreover,
he's ceased to be an ass!... Now, Flora, one ass is enough. Are
you going to listen to reason or not?

FLORA. But your mother----

CEDRIC. (_Picking up a piece of crockery and dashing it violently
to the ground; then, controlling himself, after a pause, in a
low, tense voice._) My mother be blowed!

(_A pause._ MR. _and_ MRS. REACH
HASLAM _appear at the house-door.
They show surprise at the
spectacle of_ FLORA _and_ CEDRIC
_with an appealing undecided
gesture_.)

FLORA. (_Advancing to meet_ CEDRIC.) Cedric!

(FLORA _suddenly perceives_ MR.
_and_ MRS. REACH HASLAM _and
completely changes her attitude,
going towards them_.)

MRS. R. HASLAM. Really----

FLORA. (_Lightly._) So we've _all_ got up with the sparrows!

MR. R. HASLAM. No. These two particular sparrows have just come out
for a breath of air before retiring to their nest for the day.
(_Yawns._)

MRS. R. HASLAM. Work is work, young lady, and insists on being
done (_with meaning_), whatever else happens or does not happen.

FLORA. Ah! The birthrate article--has the poor thing been declining
all this time?

CEDRIC. (_Anxious for his parents to depart._) Mother, you ought to
go to bed at once--you look absolutely exhausted.

MRS. R. HASLAM. Is it surprising? I was just saying to your father
that if this kind of thing was likely to occur often I should
have to devise some way of procuring tea at sunrise.

FLORA. But do you want some tea?

MRS. R. HASLAM. I never want what I can't have. I shall doubtless
hold out till eight o'clock.

CEDRIC. Couldn't the dad make you some?

MRS. R. HASLAM. Impossible, child! At four o'clock in the morning!

MR. R. HASLAM. The cook always locks up the kitchen to keep
Cuthbert and Fisher out.

CEDRIC. Seems odd that in a house like this you can't have a cup of
tea whenever you happen to want it!

MRS. R. HASLAM. (_Coldly resenting this criticism of her
housekeeping._) Father, shall we go?

FLORA. May _I_ give you some tea?

MRS. R. HASLAM. It's very good of you to offer me tea in my own
garden, but----

FLORA. (_With great charm._) Not at all. (_Opening her bag._) I
have my Thermos. I filled it yesterday before starting. You see,
we had no programme, and I didn't know where we might ultimately
be landed. Besides, I never travel without it. (_She unscrews
the Thermos flask and pours out the steaming tea into the patent
cover. Then undoes a little packet containing sugar._) One lump,
isn't it? (_Handing the cup, with a spoon, to_ MRS. REACH HASLAM,
_who accepts it_.) Sit down and drink it. I guessed about forty
places where I _might_ pour that tea out--and they were all
wrong! (MRS. REACH HASLAM _discovers that the tea is scalding_.)
It _is_ hot, isn't it?

MRS. R. HASLAM. (_Sipping._) I'm afraid you didn't sleep very well,
Flora.

FLORA. Why?

MRS. R. HASLAM. You're down so exceedingly early.

FLORA. The fact is, I could not get off to sleep.

MR. R. HASLAM. (_Half to himself._) I put a complete set of my
wife's novels in each of the spare bedrooms only yesterday.
(_With a faint air of being puzzled._)

FLORA. Another cup?

MRS. R. HASLAM. No, thanks. Excellent.

FLORA. I'm so glad I was here. You know, it's quite easy to have
tea at any hour of the night. But of course, with all your
other work, you can't be troubled with the little details of
housekeeping.

MRS. R. HASLAM. (_Nettled._) My _other_ work!... No doubt when
you're settled down with Cedric you will be able to show him what
true housekeeping really is.

FLORA. Settled down with Cedric!

MRS. R. HASLAM. My dear, I had intended to make no comment on the
singular coincidence of you and Cedric being here in the garden
at four in the morning. I did not mean to inquire into the
significance of this broken crockery, nor of your attitude and
tone to Cedric before you caught sight of me. But I am a trained
observer. You may remember that last night----

CEDRIC. Mater, why don't you go to bed?

MRS. R. HASLAM. You may remember that last night I hinted that
before very long you'd probably be throwing yourself into
Cedric's arms (_benevolently_). And I'm delighted to see that
pride has not stood in your way. Delighted! How you got him
down here into the garden I don't know, and it doesn't matter.
(_Slight pause._)

FLORA. (_To_ CEDRIC.) Anything to say?

CEDRIC. You're quite wrong, mother. The fact is I've now come to
the conclusion that Flora was perfectly right last night.

MRS. R. HASLAM. About what?

CEDRIC. In arguing that _nothing_ ought to stand in the way of the
honeymoon. And I've just been telling her so.

FLORA. But he forgot to tell me that there _is_ nothing now to
stand in the way of the honeymoon.

MRS. R. HASLAM. What do you mean?

FLORA. Klopstock has broken his leg and can't move for at least six
weeks. (_Startled movement by_ CEDRIC. _Quietly gracious, to_
CEDRIC.) Didn't you know? (_Silence._) Cedric, didn't you
know?

CEDRIC. (_With gruff reluctance._) Yes ... of course, Charlie gave
me away?

FLORA. Charlie merely told me, as he told you.

MRS. R. HASLAM. Everything is all right, then.

FLORA. Do you think so? Cedric and I were supposed to be talking
like honest Injuns----

MRS. R. HASLAM. Honest Injuns?

FLORA. Well, as man to man, then. Anyway, straight! And yet he
positively assured me that nothing had happened, to influence
him except my arguments. Whereas the fact was he knew that
owing to this broken leg he could go away with a perfectly easy
conscience. My arguments hadn't influenced him at all. His
principles haven't really changed at all! But now he's safe as
regards Klopstock he doesn't care a fig for his principles. His
mind is free for pleasure, now--it wasn't before--and so in order
to enjoy himself for a month he'd sacrifice _any_ principles.
Just like a man, that is! And there's something else. He was so
desperately and madly anxious to have me that he told another
simply appalling cold-blooded fib. He said he had sat up all
through the night thinking over my arguments, without a wink of
sleep. I suppose he thought that would touch me. Now the truth
is that he slept very well, and woke up with such an appetite
that he ate the whole of Charlie's supper except two bananas. I
won't mention his references to his mother. But I think I've said
enough to show that I didn't come down at four o'clock in the
morning precisely in order to throw myself into your son's arms.
Can you imagine a woman silly enough to marry a man who on the
very day of the wedding would try to deceive her as Cedric has
tried to deceive me?

MRS. R. HASLAM. (_Majestic._) Father! We had better go. (_She
moves towards house. After reflection, savagely to_ FLORA, _over
her shoulder_.) I rejoice that the breach is now definite.

(_Exit into house._)

(CEDRIC _moodily goes up garden out of sight_.)

MR. R. HASLAM. (_Protesting._) Hannah! (_Half to himself, looking
at his watch._) An inflammable hour--four o'clock!

FLORA. We seem to be left alone together.

MR. R. HASLAM. (_Cheerfully._) Yes, but I must go.

FLORA. However do you manage to be always so calm and cheerful?
I've noticed you in the most difficult situations----

MR. R. HASLAM. You have.... You see I've my own private life to
fall back on.

FLORA. (_Interested._) Have you? Where? I never----

MR. R. HASLAM. (_Tapping his forehead._) Here!

FLORA. I see.

MR. R. HASLAM. And my collection--that always keeps me amused.

FLORA. Your collection?

MR. R. HASLAM. My collection of private opinions (_tapping his
head_). Here, too!

MRS. R. HASLAM. (_Off._) Father!

MR. R. HASLAM. (_With cheerful acquiescence._) Yes, my dear. (_To_
FLORA.) Au revoir, I hope.

(_Exit into house._)

(_Vague noise of_ CEDRIC _privately
cursing behind, out of sight_.)

FLORA. (_Going up a little._) Cedric, when you've done swearing up
there, I want to apologise to you.

(_Re-enter_ CEDRIC. _They look at each other._)

CEDRIC. Apologise?

FLORA. My human nature ran away with me. My human nature couldn't
resist the temptation to fulfil your prayer. You demanded that
your mother should be blowed--and she has been. Unfortunately it
meant you being blowed, too. Now let's go.

CEDRIC. Go where?

FLORA. (_Innocently._) To Chelmsford, of course. Isn't there a
newspaper train about a quarter past five?

CEDRIC. (_Shaking his head in a maze._) I'm dashed if I know where
I am----

FLORA. I'm dashed if you are quite wide awake, my poor boy. Can't
you see how amply you've proved that you look on marriage as
seriously as any woman could desire--more seriously than any
woman ought to desire. Last night you hesitated to sacrifice your
aeroplane to me. But this morning you tell the most frightful
lies on the chance of getting hold of me--although I gave you
every encouragement to be truthful. You take the most frightful
risks of being found out. You'll run any danger of trouble and
unhappiness in the future if only you can capture me now. You
smash crockery. You behave meanly, _miserably_. You forfeit even
your own self-respect. Cedric, that is what I like. It's just
that that shows how much in earnest you are. Your deeds are far
superior to your arguments.... Cedric----

CEDRIC. What?

FLORA. After all, your dear mother's prophecy was quite correct. I
_was_ just going to throw myself into your arms--but of course I
couldn't do it while she was there, could I? (_Picks up Thermos
cup, to screw it on to the flask, holding it at arm's length._)
Henceforth, sacred!

(CEDRIC _roughly seizes her and kisses her_.)

(_After freeing herself, as she puts the flask in the bag._) It's a
good thing I like them rough.

CEDRIC. What?

FLORA. A man--and his chin.

CEDRIC. (_Snatching at the bag and looking at his watch._) Let's go
out by the garden.... Probably find a cab. Motor would make too
much noise, and rouse the mater. She'll never get over this.

FLORA. (_Calmly._) Oh yes, she will. We all shall. (_Stops._) But
my trunks, and yours?

CEDRIC. I'll wire to Charlie from Liverpool Street to bring them
down.... Confound him!

CURTAIN.

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TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES

Silently corrected simple spelling, grammar, and typographical
errors.

Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.

Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.