Chapter VII

Sure such a day as this was never seen!--THOMAS THUMB.

The day, th' important day!--ADDISON.

O giorno felice!--ITALIAN.

RURAL SCENERY.--THE BRIDAL COSTUME.--OLD FRIENDS.--LITTLE BILLY
GREATLY GROWN.--THE MARRIAGE.--A SCENE OF MORTALITY.--CONCLUSION.

The morning of the happy day destined to unite our lovers was
ushered into the world with a blue sky, and the ringing of bells.
Maidens, united in bonds of amity and artificial roses, come
dancing to the pipe and tabor; while groups of children and
chickens add hilarity to the unison of congenial minds. On the left
of the village are seen plantations of tufted turnips; on the right
a dilapidated dog-kennel,

With venerable grandeur marks the scene;

while every where the delighted eye catches monstrous mountains and
minute daisies. In a word,

All nature wears one universal grin.

The procession now set forward to the church. The bride was habited
in white drapery. Ten signs of the Zodiac, worked in spangles,
sparkled round its edge, but Virgo was omitted at her own desire;
and the bridegroom proposed to dispense with Capricorn. Sweet
delicacy! She held a pot of myrtle in her hand, and wore on her
head a small lighted torch, emblematical of Hymen. The boys and
girls bounded about her, and old Margueritone begged the favour of
lighting her pipe at her la'ship's head.

'Aha, I remember you!' said little Billy, pointing his plump and
dimpled finger at her. She remarked how tall he was grown, and took
him in her arms; while he playfully beat her with an infinitude of
small thumps.

The marriage ceremony passed off with great spirit; and the fond
bridegroom, as he pressed her to his heart, felt how pure, how
delicious are the joys of virtue.

That evening, he gave a _fête champetre_ to the peasantry; and,
afterwards, a magnificent supper to his friends.

The company consisted of Lord Lilliput, Sir James Brobdignag,
little Billy, Anacharsis Clootz, and Joe Miller.

Nothing, they thought, could add to their happiness; but they were
miserably mistaken. A messenger, pale as Priam's, rushed into the
room, and proclaimed Lord Theodore a peer of Great Britain, as his
father had died the night before.

All present congratulated Lord De Willoughby on this prosperous
turn of affairs; while himself and his charming bride exchanged a
look that spoke volumes.

Little Billy then pledged him in a goblet of Falernian; but he very
properly refused, alleging, that as the dear child was in love with
Hysterica, he had probably poisoned the wine, in a fit of jealousy.
The whole party were in raptures at this mark of his lordship's
discretion.

After supper, little Billy rose, and bowing gracefully to the
bride, stabbed himself to the heart.

Our readers may now wish to learn what became of the remaining
personages in this narrative.

Count Stiletto is dead; Lord Lilliput is no more; Sir James
Brobdignag has departed this life; Anacharsis Clootz is in his
grave; and Mr. J. Miller is in another, and we trust, a better
world.

Old Margueritone expired with the bible in her hand, and the
coroner's inquest brought in a verdict of lunacy.

Having thus conducted our lovers to the summit of human happiness,
we shall take leave of our readers with this moral reflection:--

THE FALLING OUT OF LOVERS IS THE RENEWAL OF LOVE.

THE END.

I must now leave you to prepare my dress for the ball. The ball-room, which occupies an entire wing of the house, is full of artists and workmen; but her ladyship will not permit me to see it till the night of the dance; as, she says, she means to surprise me with its splendour. Cynics may say what they will against expensive decorations; but in my opinion, whatever tends to promote taste in the fine arts (and a mental is in some degree productive of a moral taste); whatever furnishes artizans with employment, and excites their emulation, must improve the condition of society.

Adieu.