Chapter C: Custance. Tibet. Annot Alyface. Trupeny

_C. Custance._ Nay come forth all three: and come hither pretie mayde:
Will not so many forewarnings make you afrayde?

_Tib. Talk._ Yes forsoth.

_C. Custance._ But stil be a runner up and downe
Still be a bringer of tidings and tokens to towne.

_Tib. Talk._ No forsoth mistresse. 5

_C. Custance._ Is all your delite and joy
In whiskyng and ramping[468] abroade like a Tom boy.

_Tib. Talk._ Forsoth these were there too, Annot and Trupenie.

_Trupenie._ Yea but ye alone tooke it, ye can not denie.

_Annot Aly._ Yea that ye did.

_Tibet._ But if I had not, ye twaine would.

_C. Custance._ You great calfe ye should have more witte, so ye
should: 10
But why shoulde any of you take such things in hande.

_Tibet._ Because it came from him that must be your husbande.

_C. Custance._ How do ye know that?

_Tibet._ Forsoth the boy did say so.

_C. Custance._ What was his name?

_An. Alyface._ We asked not.

_C. Custance._ No?[469]

_An. Aliface._ He is not farre gone of likelyhod. 15

_Trupeny._ I will see.

_C. Custance._ If thou canst finde him in the streete bring him to me.

_Trupenie._ Yes. _Exeat._

_C. Custance._ Well ye naughty girles, if ever I perceive
That henceforth you do letters or tokens receive,
To bring unto me from any person or place,
Except ye first shewe me the partie face to face, 20
Eyther thou or thou, full truly abye[470] thou shalt.

_Tibet._ Pardon this, and the next tyme pouder me in salt.

_C. Custance._ I shall make all girles by you twaine to beware.

_Tibet._ If ever I offende againe do not me spare.
But if ever I see that false boy any more 25
By your mistreshyps licence I tell you afore
I will rather have my cote twentie times swinged,
Than on the naughtie wag not to be avenged.

_C. Custance._ Good wenches would not so rampe abrode ydelly,
But keepe within doores, and plie their work earnestly, D ii 30
If one would speake with me that is a man likely,
Ye shall have right good thanke to bring me worde quickly.
But otherwyse with messages to come in post
From henceforth I promise you, shall be to your cost.
Get you in to your work. 35

_Tib. An._ Yes forsoth.

_C. Custance._ Hence both twaine.
And let me see you play me such a part againe.
[_Exeant_ TIB. _and_ AN.]

_Trupeny_ [_entering_]. Maistresse, I have runne past the farre ende
of the streete,
Yet can I not yonder craftie boy see nor meete.

_C. Custance._ No?

_Trupeny._ Yet I looked as farre beyonde the people.
As one may see out of the toppe of Paules steeple. 40

_C. Custance._ Hence in at doores, and let me no more be vext.

_Trupeny._ Forgeve me this one fault, and lay on for the next.

_C. Custance._ Now will I in too, for I thinke so God me mende,
This will prove some foolishe matter in the ende. _Exeat._

Actus. [i]ii. Scæna. i.

MATHEWE MERYGREEKE.

_M. Mery._ Nowe say thys againe: he hath somewhat to dooing
Which followeth the trace of one that is wowing,
Specially that hath no more wit in his hedde,
Than my cousin Roister Doister withall is ledde.
I am sent in all haste to espie and to marke 5
How our letters and tokens are likely to warke.
Maister Roister Doister must have aunswere in haste
For he loveth not to spende much labour in waste.
Nowe as for Christian Custance by this light,
Though she had not hir trouth to Gawin Goodluck plight, 10
Yet rather than with such a loutishe dolte to marie,
I dare say woulde lyve a poore lyfe solitarie,
But fayne woulde I speake with Custance if I wist how
To laugh at the matter, yond commeth one forth now.

Actus. iii. Scæna. ii. D ii _b_

TIBET. M. MERYGREEKE. CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE.

_Tib. Talk._ Ah that I might but once in my life have a sight
Of him that made us all so yll shent by this light,
He should never escape if I had him by the eare,
But even from his head, I would it bite or teare.
Yea and if one of them were not inowe, 5
I would bite them both off, I make God avow.

_M. Mery._ What is he, whome this little mouse doth so threaten?

_Tib. Talk._ I woulde teache him I trow, to make girles shent or
beaten.

_M. Mery._ I will call hir: Maide with whome are ye so hastie?

_Tib. Talk._ Not with you sir, but with a little wag-pastie, 10
A deceiver of folkes, by subtill craft and guile.

_M. Mery._ I knowe where she is: Dobinet hath wrought some wile.

_Tib. Talk._ He brought a ring and token which he sayd was sent
From our dames husbande, but I wot well I was shent:
For it liked hir as well to tell you no lies, 15
As water in hir shyppe, or salt cast in hir eies:
And yet whence it came neyther we nor she can tell.

_M. Mery._ We shall have sport anone: I like this very well.
And dwell ye here with mistresse Custance faire maide?

_Tib. Talk._ Yea mary doe I sir: what would ye have sayd? 20

_M. Mery._ A little message unto hir by worde of mouth.

_Tib. Talk._ No messages by your leave, nor tokens forsoth.

_M. Mery._ Then help me to speke with hir.

_Tibet._ With a good wil that.
Here she commeth forth. Now speake ye know best what.

[CUSTANCE _enters_.]

_C. Custance._ None other life with you maide, but abrode to skip? 25

_Tib. Talk._ Forsoth here is one would speake with your
mistresship.[471]

_C. Custance._ Ah, have ye ben learning of mo messages now?

_Tib. Talk._ I would not heare his minde, but bad him shewe it to you.

_C. Custance._ In at dores.

_Tib. Talk._ I am gon. _Ex._

_M. Mery._ Dame Custance god ye save.

_C. Custance._ Welcome friend Merygreeke: and what thing wold
ye have? D iii[472] 30

_M. Mery._ I am come to you a little matter to breake.

_C. Custance._ But see it be honest, else better not to speake.

_M. Mery._ Howe feele ye your selfe affected here of late?

_C. Custance._ I feele no maner chaunge but after the olde rate.
But whereby do ye meane? 35

_M. Mery._ Concerning mariage.
Doth not love lade you?

_C. Custance._ I feele no such cariage.[473]

_M. Mery._ Doe ye feele no pangues of dotage? aunswere me right.

_C. Custance._ I dote so, that I make but one sleepe all the night
But what neede all these wordes?

_M. Mery._ Oh Jesus, will ye see
What dissemblyng creatures these same women be? 40
The gentleman ye wote of, whome ye doe so love,
That ye woulde fayne marrie him, yf ye durst it move,
Emong other riche widowes, which are of him glad,
Lest ye for lesing of him perchaunce might runne mad,
Is nowe contented that upon your sute making, 45
Ye be as one in election of taking.

_C. Custance._ What a tale is this? that I wote of? whome I love?

_M. Mery._ Yea and he is as loving a worme againe as a dove.
Een of very pitie he is willyng you to take,
Bicause ye shall not destroy your selfe for his sake. 50

_C. Custance._ Mary God yelde his mashyp what ever he be,
It is gentmanly spoken.

_M. Mery._ Is it not trowe ye?
If ye have the grace now to offer your self, ye speede.

_C. Custance._ As muche as though I did, this time it shall not neede,
But what gentman is it, I pray you tell me plaine, 55
That woweth so finely?

_M. Mery._ Lo where ye be againe,
As though ye knewe him not.

_C. Custance._ Tush ye speake in jest.

_M. Mery._ Nay sure, the partie is in good knacking[474] earnest,
And have you he will (he sayth) and have you he must.

_C. Custance._ I am promised duryng my life, that is just. 60

_M. Mery._ Mary so thinketh he, unto him alone.

_C. Custance._ No creature hath my faith and trouth but one,
That is Gawin Goodlucke: and if it be not hee,
He hath no title this way what ever he be, D iii _b_
Nor I know none to whome I have such worde spoken. 65

_M. Mery._ Ye knowe him not[,] you[,] by his letter and token[!]

_C. Custance._ In dede true it is, that a letter I have,
But I never reade it yet as God me save.

_M. Mery._ Ye a woman? and your letter so long unredde.

_C. Custance._ Ye may therby know what hast I have to wedde. 70
But now who it is, for my hande I knowe by gesse.

_M. Mery._ Ah well I say.

_C. Custance._ It is Roister Doister doubtlesse.

_M. Mery._ Will ye never leave this dissimulation?
Ye know hym not.

_C. Custance._ But by imagination,
For no man there is but a very dolt and loute 75
That to wowe a Widowe woulde so go about.
He shall never have me hys wife while he doe live.

_M. Mery._ Then will he have you if he may, so mote I thrive,
And he biddeth you sende him worde by me,
That ye humbly beseech him, ye may his wife be, 80
And that there shall be no let in you nor mistrust,
But to be wedded on Sunday next if he lust,
And biddeth you to looke for him.

_C. Custance._ Doth he byd so?

_M. Mery._ When he commeth, aske hym whether he did or no?

_C. Custance._ Goe say, that I bid him keepe him warme at home 85
For if he come abroade, he shall cough me a mome.[475]
My mynde was vexed, I shrew his head sottish dolt.

_M. Mery._ He hath in his head[----][476]

_C. Custance._ As much braine as a burbolt.[477]

_M. Mery._ Well dame Custance, if he heare you thus play choploge.[478]

_C. Custance._ What will he? 90

_M. Mery._ Play the devill in the horologe.[479]

_C. Custance._ I defye him loute.

_M. Mery._ Shall I tell hym what ye say?

_C. Custance._ Yea and adde what so ever thou canst, I thee pray,
And I will avouche it what so ever it bee.

_M. Mery._ Then let me alone we will laugh well ye shall see,
It will not be long ere he will hither resorte. 95

_C. Custance._ Let hym come when hym lust, I wishe no better
sport.
Fare ye well, I will in, and read my great letter.
I shall to my wower make answere the better. _Exeat._ D iv

Actus. iii. Scæna. iii.

MATHEW MERYGREEKE. ROISTER DOISTER.

_M. Mery._ Nowe that the whole answere in my devise doth rest,
I shall paint out our wower in colours of the best.
And all that I say shall be on Custances mouth,
She is author of all that I shall speake forsoth.
But yond commeth Roister Doister nowe in a traunce. 5

_R. Royster._ _Juno_ sende me this day good lucke and good chaunce.
I can not but come see how Merygreeke doth speede.

_M. Mery_ [_aside_]. I will not see him, but give him a jutte in
deede.[480]
I crie your mastershyp mercie[!] [_running hard into him_]

_R. Royster._ And whither now?

_M. Mery._ As fast as I could runne sir in post against you. 10
But why speake ye so faintly, or why are ye so sad?

_R. Royster._ Thou knowest the proverbe, bycause I can not be had.
Hast thou spoken with this woman?

_M. Mery._ Yea that I have.

_R. Royster._ And what will this geare be?

_M. Mery._ No so God me save.

_R. Royster._ Hast thou a flat answer? 15

_M. Mery._ Nay a sharp answer.

_R. Royster._ What

_M. Mery._ Ye shall not (she sayth) by hir will marry hir cat.
Ye are such a calfe, such an asse, such a blocke,
Such a lilburne,[481] such a hoball,[482] such a lobcocke,[483]
And bicause ye shoulde come to hir at no season,
She despised your maship out of all reason. 20
Bawawe[484] what ye say (ko I) of such a jentman,
Nay I feare him not (ko she) doe the best he can.
He vaunteth him selfe for a man of prowesse greate,
Where as a good gander I dare say may him beate.
And where he is louted[485] and laughed to skorne, 25
For the veriest dolte that ever was borne,
And veriest lubber, sloven and beast,
Living in this worlde from the west to the east: D iv _b_
Yet of himselfe hath he suche opinion,
That in all the worlde is not the like minion.[486] 30
He thinketh eche woman to be brought in dotage
With the onely sight of his goodly personage:
Yet none that will have hym: we do hym loute and flocke,[487]
And make him among us, our common sporting stocke,
And so would I now (ko she) save onely bicause, 35
Better nay (ko I) I lust not medle with dawes.
Ye are happy (ko I) that ye are a woman,
This would cost you your life in case ye were a man.

_R. Royster._ Yea an hundred thousand pound should not save hir life.

_M. Mery._ No but that ye wowe hir to have hir to your wife, 40
But I coulde not stoppe hir mouth.

_R. Royster._ Heigh how alas,

_M. Mery._ Be of good cheere man, and let the worlde passe.[488]

_R. Royster._ What shall I doe or say nowe that it will not bee.

_M. Mery._ Ye shall have choice of a thousande as good as shee,
And ye must pardon hir, it is for lacke of witte. 45

_R. Royster._ Yea, for were not I an husbande for hir fitte?
Well what should I now doe?

_M. Mery._ In faith I can not tell.

_R. Royster._ I will go home and die.

_M. Mery._ Then shall I bidde toll the bell?

_R. Royster._ No.

_M. Mery._ God have mercie on your soule, ah good gentleman,
That er ye shuld th[u]s dye for an unkinde woman, 50
Will ye drinke once ere ye goe.

_R. Royster._ No, no, I will none.

_M. Mery._ How feele[489] your soule to God.

_R. Royster._ I am nigh gone.

_M. Mery._ And shall we hence streight?

_R. Royster._ Yea.

_M. Mery._ _Placebo dilexi._
Maister [R]oister Doister will streight go home and die.
_ut infra._[490] 54

_R. Royster._ Heigh how, alas, the pangs of death my hearte do breake.

_M. Mery._ Holde your peace for shame sir, a dead man may not speake.
_Nequando_: What mourners and what torches shall we have?

_R. Royster._ None.

_M. Mery._ _Dirige._ He will go darklyng to his grave,
_Neque, lux, neque crux, neque mourners, neque_ clinke,
He will steale to heaven, unknowing to God I thinke. 60
_A porta inferi_, who shall your goodes possesse?

_R. Royster._ Thou shall be my sectour,[491] and have all more
and lesse. E i

_M. Mery._ _Requiem æternam._ Now God reward your mastershyp.
And I will crie halfepenie doale for your worshyp.
Come forth sirs, heare the dolefull newes I shall you tell.
_Evocat servos militis._ 65
Our good maister here will no longer with us dwell,
But in spite of Custance, which hath hym weried,
Let us see his mashyp solemnely buried.
And while some piece of his soule is yet hym within,
Some part of his funeralls let us here begin. 70
_Audiui vocem_, All men take heede by this one gentleman,
Howe you sette your love upon an unkinde woman.
For these women be all such madde pievishe elves,
They will not be wonne except it please them selves.
But in fayth Custance if ever ye come in hell, 75
Maister Roister Doister shall serve you as well.
And will ye needes go from us thus in very deede?

_R. Royster._ Yea in good sadnesse[!]

_M. Mery._ Now Jesus Christ be your speede.
Good night Roger olde knave, farewell Roger olde knave,
Good night Roger[492] olde knave, knave knap. _ut infra._[493]
Pray for the late maister Roister Doisters soule, 81
And come forth parish Clarke, let the passing bell toll.
Pray for your mayster sirs, and for hym ring a peale.
_Ad servos militis._
He was your right good maister while he was in heale.
_Qui Lazarum_. 85

_R. Royster._ Heigh how.

_M. Mery._ Dead men go not so fast
_In Paradisum_. 87

_R. Royster._ Heihow.

_M. Mery._ Soft, heare what I have cast.[494]

_R. Royster._ I will heare nothing, I am past.

_M. Mery._ Whough, wellaway.
Ye may tarie one houre, and heare what I shall say, 90
Ye were best sir for a while to revive againe,
And quite them er ye go.

_R. Royster._ Trowest thou so?

_M. Mery._ Ye plain.

_R. Royster._ How may I revive being nowe so farre past?

_M. Mery._ I will rubbe your temples, and fette you againe at last.

_R. Royster._ It will not be possible. 95

_M. Mery_ [_rubbing R.'s temples roughly_]. Yes for twentie pounde.

_R. Royster._ Armes[!][495] what dost thou?

_M. Mery._ Fet you again out of your sound[496]
By this crosse ye were nigh gone in deede, I might feele
Your soule departing within an inche of your heele. E i _b_
Now folow my counsell.

_R. Royster._ What is it?

_M. Mery._ If I wer you,
Custance should eft seeke to me, ere I woulde bowe. 100

_R. Royster._ Well, as thou wilt have me, even so will I doe.

_M. Mery._ Then shall ye revive againe for an houre or two.

_R. Royster._ As thou wilt I am content for a little space.

_M. Mery._ Good happe is not hastie:[497] yet in space com[e]th
grace,[498]
To speake with Custance your selfe shoulde be very well, 105
What good therof may come, nor I, nor you can tell.
But now the matter standeth upon your mariage,
Ye must now take unto you a lustie courage.[499]
Ye may not speake with a faint heart to Custance,
But with a lusty breast[500] and countenance, 110
That she may knowe she hath to answere to a man.

_R. Royster._ Yes I can do that as well as any can.

_M. Mery._ Then bicause ye must Custance face to face wowe,
Let us see how to behave your selfe ye can doe.
Ye must have a portely bragge after your estate. 115

_R. Roister._ Tushe, I can handle that after the best rate.

_M. Mery._ Well done, so loe, up man with your head and chin,
Up with that snoute man: so loe, nowe ye begin,
So, that is somewhat like, but[,] prankie[501] cote, nay[,]
whan[!]
That is a lustie brute,[502] handes under your side man: 120
So loe, now is it even as it shoulde[503] bee,
That is somewhat like, for a man of your degree.
Then must ye stately goe, jetting[504] up and downe,
Tut, can ye no better shake the taile of your gowne?
There loe, such a lustie bragge it is ye must make. 125

_R. Royster._ To come behind, and make curtsie, thou must som
pains take.

_M. Mery._ Else were I much to blame, I thanke your mastershyp[,][505]
The lorde one day[--]all to begrime you with worshyp,
[_M. pushes violently against R._]
Backe sir sauce,[506] let gentlefolkes have elbowe roome,
Voyde sirs, see ye not maister Roister Doister come? 130
Make place my maisters. [_Knocks against R._]

_R. Royster._ Thou justlest nowe to nigh.

_M. Mery._ Back al rude loutes. E ii

_R. Royster._ Tush.

_M. Mery._ I crie your maship mercy
Hoighdagh, if faire fine mistresse Custance sawe you now,
Ralph Royster Doister were hir owne I warrant you.

_R. Royster._ Neare[507] an M by your girdle?[508] 135

_M. Mery._ Your good mastershyps
Maistershyp, were hir owne Mistreshyps mistreshyps,
Ye were take[509] up for haukes, ye were gone, ye were gone,
But now one other thing more yet I thinke upon.

_R. Royster._ Shewe what it is.

_M. Mery._ A wower be he never so poore
Must play and sing before his bestbeloves doore, 140
How much more than you?

_R. Royster._ Thou speakest wel out of dout.

_M. Mery._ And perchaunce that woulde make hir the sooner come out.

_R. Royster._ Goe call my Musitians, bydde them high apace.

_M. Mery._ I wyll be here with them ere ye can say trey ace.[510]
_Exeat._

_R. Royster._ This was well sayde of Merrygreeke, I lowe hys wit, 145
Before my sweete hearts dore we will have a fit[,]
That if my love come forth, that I may with hir talke,
I doubt not but this geare shall on my side walke.
But lo, how well Merygreeke is returned sence.

_M. Mery_ [_returning with the musicians_]. There hath grown no
grasse on my heele since I went hence, 150
Lo here have I brought that shall make you pastance.

_R. Royster._ Come sirs let us sing to winne my deare love Custance.

_Cantent._[511]

_M. Mery._ Lo where she commeth, some countenaunce to hir make.
And ye shall heare me be plaine with hir for your sake. 154

Actus. iii. Scæna. iiii.

CUSTANCE. MERYGREEKE. ROISTER DOISTER.

_C. Custance._ What gaudyng[512] and foolyng is this afore my doore?

_M. Mery._ May not folks be honest, pray you, though they be pore?

_C. Custance._ As that thing may be true, so rich folks may be fooles,

_R. Royster._ Hir talke is as fine as she had learned in schooles.

_M. Mery._ Looke partly towarde hir, and drawe a little nere. E ii _b_

_C. Custance._ Get ye home idle folkes. 6

_M. Mery._ Why may not we be here?
Nay and ye will haze,[513] haze: otherwise I tell you plaine,
And ye will not haze, then give us our geare againe.

_C. Custance._ In deede I have of yours much gay things God save all.

_R. Royster._ Speake gently unto hir, and let hir take all. 10

_M. Mery._ Ye are to tender hearted: shall she make us dawes?
Nay dame, I will be plaine with you in my friends cause.

_R. Royster._ Let all this passe sweete heart and accept my
service.[514]

_C. Custance._ I will not be served with a foole in no wise,
When I choose an husbande I hope to take a man. 15

_M. Mery._ And where will ye finde one which can doe that he can?
Now thys man towarde you being so kinde,
You not to make him an answere somewhat to his minde.

_C. Custance._ I sent him a full answere by you dyd I not?

_M. Mery._ And I reported it. 20

_C. Custance._ Nay I must speake it againe.

_R. Royster._ No no, he tolde it all.

_M. Mery._ Was I not metely plaine?

_R. Royster._ Yes.

_M. Mery._ But I would not tell all, for faith if I had
With you dame Custance ere this houre it had been bad,
And not without cause: for this goodly personage,
Ment no lesse than to joyne with you in mariage. 25

_C. Custance._ Let him wast no more labour nor sute about me.

_M. Mery._ Ye know not where your preferment lieth I see,
He sending you such a token, ring and letter.

_C. Custance._ Mary here it is, ye never sawe a better.

_M. Mery._ Let us see your letter. 30

_C. Custance._ Holde, reade it if ye can.
And see what letter it is to winne a woman.

_M. Mery_ [_takes the letter and reads_]. To mine owne deare coney
birde, swete heart, and pigsny
Good Mistresse Custance present these by and by,
Of this superscription do ye blame the stile?

_C. Custance._ With the rest as good stuffe as ye redde a great
while. 35

_M. Mery._ Sweete mistresse where as I love you nothing at all,[515]
Regarding your substance and richesse chiefe of all,
For your personage, beautie, demeanour and wit,
I commende me unto you never a whit. E iii
Sorie to heare report of your good welfare. 40
For (as I heare say) suche your conditions are,
That ye be worthie favour of no living man,
To be abhorred of every honest man.
To be taken for a woman enclined to vice.
Nothing at all to Vertue gyving hir due price. 45
Wherfore concerning mariage, ye are thought
Suche a fine Paragon, as nere honest man bought.
And nowe by these presentes I do you advertise
That I am minded to marrie you in no wise.
For your goodes and substance, I coulde bee content 50
To take you as ye are. If ye mynde to bee my wyfe,
Ye shall be assured for the tyme of my lyfe,
I will keepe ye ryght well, from good rayment and fare,
Ye shall not be kepte but in sorowe and care.
Ye shall in no wyse lyve at your owne libertie, 55
Doe and say what ye lust, ye shall never please me,
But when ye are mery, I will be all sadde,
When ye are sory, I will be very gladde.
When ye seeke your heartes ease, I will be unkinde,
At no tyme, in me shall ye muche gentlenesse finde. 60
But all things contrary to your will and minde,
Shall be done: otherwise I wyll not be behinde
To speake. And as for all them that woulde do you wrong
I will so helpe and mainteyne, ye[516] shall not lyve long.
Nor any foolishe dolte, shall cumbre you but I.[517] 65
I, who ere say nay, wyll sticke by you tyll I die,
Thus good mistresse Custance, the lorde you save and kepe,
From me Roister Doister, whether I wake or slepe.
Who favoureth you no lesse, (ye may be bolde)
Than this letter purporteth, which ye have unfolde. 70

_C. Custance._ Howe by this letter of love? is it not fine?

_R. Royster._ By the armes of Caleys[518] it is none of myne.

_M. Mery._ Fie you are fowle to blame this is your owne hand. E iii _b_

_C. Custance._ Might not a woman be proude of such an husbande?

_M. Mery._ Ah that ye would in a letter shew such despite. 75

_R. Royster._ Oh I would I had hym here, the which did it endite.

_M. Mery._ Why ye made it your selfe ye tolde me by this light.

_R. Royster._ Yea I ment I wrote it myne owne selfe yesternight.

_C. Custance._ Ywis sir, I would not have sent you such a mocke.

_R. Royster._ Ye may so take it, but I ment it not so by cocke. 80

_M. Mery._ Who can blame this woman to fume and frette and
rage?
Tut, tut, your selfe nowe have marde your owne marriage.
Well, yet mistresse Custance, if ye can this remitte,
This gentleman other wise may your love requitte. 84

_C. Custance._ No God be with you both, and seeke[519] no more to me.
_Exeat._

_R. Royster._ Wough, she is gone for ever, I shall hir no more see.

_M. Mery._ What weepe? fye for shame, and blubber? for manhods sake,
Never lette your foe so muche pleasure of you take.
Rather play the mans parte, and doe love refraine.
If she despise you een despise ye hir againe. 90

_R. Royster._ By gosse[520] and for thy sake I defye hir in deede.

_M. Mery._ Yea and perchaunce that way ye shall much sooner speede,
For one madde propretie these women have in fey,
When ye will, they will not: Will not ye, then will they.
Ah foolishe woman, ah moste unluckie Custance, 95
Ah unfortunate woman, ah pievishe Custance,
Art thou to thine harmes so obstinately bent,
That thou canst not see where lieth thine high preferment?
Canst thou not lub[521] dis man, which coulde lub dee so well?
Art thou so much thine own foe[?] 100

_R. Royster._ Thou dost the truth tell.

_M. Mery._ Wel I lament.

_R. Royster._ So do I.

_M. Mery._ Wherfor?

_R. Royster._ For this thing
Bicause she is gone.

_M. Mery._ I mourne for an other thing.

_R. Royster._ What is it Merygreeke, wherfore thou dost griefe take?

_M. Mery._ That I am not a woman myselfe for your sake,
I would have you my selfe, and a strawe for yond Gill, 105
And mocke[522] much of you though it were against my will.
I would not I warrant you, fall in such a rage, E iv
As so to refuse suche a goodly personage.

_R. Royster._ In faith I heartily thanke thee Merygreeke.

_M. Mery._ And I were a woman. 110

_R. Royster._ Thou wouldest to me seeke.

_M. Mery._ For though I say it, a goodly person ye bee.

_R. Royster._ No, no.

_M. Mery._ Yes a goodly man as ere I dyd see.

_R. Royster._ No, I am a poore homely man as God made mee.

_M. Mery._ By the faith that I owe to God sir, but ye bee.
Woulde I might for your sake, spend a thousande pound land. 115

_R. Royster._ I dare say thou wouldest have me to thy husbande.

_M. Mery._ Yea: And I were the fairest lady in the shiere,
And knewe you as I know you, and see you nowe here.
Well I say no more.

_R. Royster._ Grammercies with all my hart.

_M. Mery._ But since that can not be, will ye play a wise parte? 120

_R. Royster._ How should I?

_M. Mery._ Refraine[523] from Custance a while now.
And I warrant hir soone right glad to seeke to you,
Ye shall see hir anon come on hir knees creeping.
And pray you to be good to hir salte teares weeping.

_R. Royster._ But what and she come not? 125

_M. Mery._ In faith then farewel she.
Or else if ye be wroth, ye may avenged be.

_R. Royster._ By cocks precious potsticke, and een so I shall.
I wyll utterly destroy hir, and house and all,
But I woulde be avenged in the meane space,
On that vile scribler, that did my wowyng disgrace. 130

_M. Mery._ Scribler (ko you) in deede he is worthy no lesse.
I will call hym to you, and ye bidde me doubtlesse.

_R. Royster._ Yes, for although he had as many lives,
As a thousande widowes, and a thousande wives,
As a thousande lyons, and a thousand rattes, 135
A thousande wolves, and a thousande cattes,
A thousande bulles, and a thousande calves,
And a thousande legions divided in halves,
He shall never scape death on my swordes point,
Though I shoulde be torne therfore joynt by joynt. 140

_M. Mery._ Nay, if ye will kyll him, I will not fette him, E iv _b_
I will not in so muche extremitie sette him,
He may yet amende sir, and be an honest man,
Therefore pardon him good soule, as muche as ye can.

_R. Royster._ Well, for thy sake, this once with his lyfe he shall
passe, 145
But I wyll hewe hym all to pieces by the Masse.

_M. Mery._ Nay fayth ye shall promise that he shall no harme have,
Else I will not set him.

_R. Royster._ I shall so God me save.
But I may chide him a good.[524]

_M. Mery._ Yea that do hardely.

_R. Royster._ Go then. 150

_M. Mery._ I returne, and bring him to you by and by. _Ex._

Actus iii. Scæna v.

ROISTER DOISTER. MATHEWE MERYGREEKE. SCRIVENER.

_R. Royster._ What is a gentleman but his worde and his promise?
I must nowe save this vilaines lyfe in any wife,
And yet at hym already my handes doe tickle,
I shall uneth holde them, they wyll be so fickle.
But lo and Merygreeke have not brought him sens? 5

_M. Mery_ [_entering with the Scriv._]. Nay I woulde I had of my
purse payde fortie pens.

_Scrivener._ So woulde I too: but it needed not that stounde,

_M. Mery._ But the jentman[525] had rather spent five thousande
pounde,
For it disgraced him at least five tymes so muche.

_Scrivener._ He disgraced hym selfe, his loutishnesse is suche. 10

_R. Royster._ Howe long they stande prating? Why comst thou not away?

_M. Mery._ Come nowe to hymselfe, and hearke what he will say.

_Scrivener._ I am not afrayde in his presence to appeere.

_R. Royster._ Arte thou come felow?

_Scrivener._ How thinke you? am I not here? 14

_R. Royster._ What hindrance hast thou done me, and what villanie?

_Scrivener._ It hath come of thy selfe, if thou hast had any.

_R. Royster._ All the stocke thou comest of later or rather,[526]
From thy fyrst fathers grandfathers fathers father,
Nor all that shall come of thee to the worldes ende, F i
Though to three score generations they descende, 20
Can be able to make me a just recompense,
For this trespasse of thine and this one offense.

_Scrivener._ Wherin?

_R. Royster._ Did not you make me a letter brother?[527]

_Scrivener._ Pay the like hire, I will make you suche an other.

_R. Royster._ Nay see and these whooreson Phariseys and Scribes 25
Doe not get their livyng by polling[528] and bribes.[529]
If it were not for shame
[_advances towards the Scr. to strike him._]

_Scrivener_[530]. Nay holde thy hands still.

_M. Mery._ Why[,] did ye not promise that ye would not him spill?

_Scrivener_ [_prepares to fight_]. Let him not spare me.
[_Strikes R._]

_R. Royster._ Why wilt thou strike me again?

_Scrivener._ Ye shall have as good as ye bring of me that is plaine. 30

_M. Mery._ I can not blame him sir, though your blowes wold him greve.
For he knoweth present death to ensue of all ye geve.

_R. Royster._ Well, this man for once hath purchased thy pardon.

_Scrivener._ And what say ye to me? or else I will be gon.

_R. Royster._ I say the letter thou madest me was not good. 35

_Scrivener._ Then did ye wrong copy it of likelyhood.

_R. Royster._ Yes, out of thy copy worde for worde I wrote.

_Scrivener._ Then was it as ye prayed to have it I wote,
But in reading and pointyng there was made some faulte.

_R. Royster._ I wote not, but it made all my matter to haulte. 40

_Scrivener._ How say you, is this mine originall or no?

_R. Royster._ The selfe same that I wrote out of, so mote I go.

_Scrivener._ Loke you on your owne fist,[531] and I will looke on
this.
And let this man be judge whether I reade amisse.
To myne owne dere coney birde, sweete heart, and pigsny,[532] 45
Good mistresse Custance, present these by and by.
How now? doth not this superscription agree?

_R. Royster._ Reade that is within, and there ye shall the fault see.

_Scrivener._ Sweete mistresse, where as I love you, nothing at all
Regarding your richesse and substance: chiefe of all 50
For your personage, beautie, demeanour and witte
I commende me unto you: Never a whitte
Sory to heare reporte of your good welfare. F i _b_
For (as I heare say) suche your conditions are,
That ye be worthie favour: of no living man 55
To be abhorred: of every honest man
To be taken for a woman enclined to vice
Nothing at all: to vertue giving hir due price.
Wherefore concerning mariage, ye are thought
Suche a fine Paragon, as nere honest man bought. 60
And nowe by these presents I doe you advertise,
That I am minded to marrie you: In no wyse
For your goodes and substance: I can be content
To take you as you are: yf ye will be my wife,
Ye shall be assured for the time of my life, 65
I wyll keepe you right well: from good raiment and fare,
Ye shall not be kept: but in sorowe and care
Ye shall in no wyse lyve: at your owne libertie,
Doe and say what ye lust: ye shall never please me
But when ye are merrie: I will bee all sadde 70
When ye are sorie: I wyll be very gladde
When ye seeke your heartes ease: I will be unkinde
At no time: in me shall ye muche gentlenesse finde.
But all things contrary to your will and minde
Shall be done otherwise: I wyll not be behynde 75
To speake: And as for all they that woulde do you wrong,
(I wyll so helpe and maintayne ye) shall not lyve long.
Nor any foolishe dolte shall cumber you, but I,
I, who ere say nay, wyll sticke by you tyll I die.
Thus good mistresse Custance, the lorde you save and kepe. 80
From me Roister Doister, whether I wake or slepe,
Who favoureth you no lesse, (ye may be bolde)
Than this letter purporteth, which ye have unfolde.
Now sir, what default can ye finde in this letter?

_R. Royster._ Of truth in my mynde there can not be a better. 85

_Scrivener._ Then was the fault in readyng, and not in writyng,
No nor I dare say in the fourme of endityng, F ii
But who read this letter, that it sounded so nought?

_M. Mery._ I redde it in deede.

_Scrivener._ Ye red it not as ye ought.

_R. Royster._ Why thou wretched villaine was all this same fault in
thee? [_Advances angrily against M._] 90

_M. Mery_ [_strikes R._]. I knocke your costarde[533] if ye offer to
strike me.

_R. Royster._ Strikest thou in deede? and I offer but in jest?

_M. Mery._ Yea and rappe you againe except ye can sit in rest.
And I will no longer tarie here me beleve.

_R. Royster._ What wilt thou be angry, and I do thee forgeve? 95
Fare thou well scribler, I crie thee mercie in deede.

_Scrivener._ Fare ye well bibbler, and worthily may ye speede.

_R. Royster._ If it were an other but thou, it were a knave.

_M. Mery._ Ye are an other your selfe sir, the lorde us both save,
Albeit in this matter I must your pardon crave, 100
Alas woulde ye wyshe in me the witte that ye have?
But as for my fault I can quickely amende,
I will shewe Custance it was I that did offende.

_R. Royster._ By so doing hir anger may be reformed.

_M. Mery._ But if by no entreatie she will be turned, 105
Then sette lyght by hir and bee as testie as shee,
And doe your force upon hir with extremitie.

_R. Roister._ Come on therefore lette us go home in sadnesse.

_M. Mery._ That if force shall neede all may be in a readinesse,[534]
And as for thys letter hardely[535] let all go, 110
We wyll know where[536] she refuse you for that or no.
_Exeant am_[_bo._]

Actus iiii. Scæna i.

SYM SURESBY.

_Sim Sure._ Is there any man but I Sym Suresby alone,
That would have taken such an enterprise him upon,
In suche an outragious tempest as this was.
Suche a daungerous gulfe of the sea to passe. F ii _b_
I thinke verily _Neptunes_ mightie godshyp, 5
Was angry with some that was in our shyp,
And but for the honestie which in me he founde,
I thinke for the others sake we had bene drownde.
But fye on that servant which for his maisters wealth[537]
Will sticke for to hazarde both his lyfe and his health. 10
My maister Gawyn Goodlucke after me a day
Bicause of the weather, thought best hys shyppe to stay,
And now that I have the rough sourges so well past,
God graunt I may finde all things safe here at last.
Then will I thinke all my travaile well spent. 15
Nowe the first poynt wherfore my maister hath me sent
Is to salute dame Christian Custance his wife[538]
Espoused: whome he tendreth no lesse than his life,
I must see how it is with hir well or wrong,
And whether for him she doth not now thinke long: 20
Then to other friendes I have a message or tway,
And then so to returne and mete him on the way.
Now wyll I goe knocke that I may dispatche with speede,
But loe forth commeth hir selfe happily in deede.

Actus iiii. Scæna ii.

CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE. SIM. SURESBY.

_C. Custance._ I come to see if any more stirryng be here,
But what straunger is this, which doth to me appere?

_Sym Surs._ I will speake to hir: Dame the lorde you save and see.

_C. Custance._ What friende Sym Suresby? Forsoth right welcome ye be,
Howe doth mine owne Gawyn Goodlucke, I pray the tell? 5

_S. Suresby._ When he knoweth of your health he will be perfect well.

_C. Custance._ If he have perfect helth, I am as I would be. F iii

_Sim. Sure._ Suche newes will please him well, this is as it should
be.

_C. Custance._ I thinke now long for him.

_Sym Sure._ And he as long for you. 10

_C. Custance._ When wil he be at home?

_Sym Sure._ His heart is here een now
His body commeth after.

_C. Custance._ I woulde see that faine.

_Sim Sure._ As fast as wynde and sayle can cary it a maine.
But what two men are yonde comming hitherwarde?

_C. Custance._ Now I shrew their best Christmasse chekes[539] both
togetherward. 14

Actus. iiii. Scæna. iii.

CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE. SYM SURESBY. RALPH ROISTER. MATHEW MERYGREKE.
TRUPENY.

_C. Custance._ What meane these lewde felowes thus to trouble me stil?
Sym Suresby here perchance shal therof deme som yll.
And shall su[s]pect[540] in me some point of naughtinesse,
And they come hitherward.

_Sim Sure._ What is their businesse?

_C. Custance._ I have nought to them, nor they to me in sadnesse 5

_Sim Sure._ Let us hearken them, somewhat there is I feare it.

_R. Royster._ I will speake out aloude best, that she may heare it.

_M. Mery._ Nay alas, ye may so feare hir out of hir wit.

_R. Royster._ By the crosse of my sworde, I will hurt hir no whit.

_M. Mery._ Will ye doe no harme in deede, shall I trust your worde? 10

_R. Royster._ By Roister Doisters fayth I will speake but in borde.

_Sim Sure._ Let us hearken them, somwhat there is I feare it.

_R. Royster._ I will speake out aloude, I care not who heare it:
Sirs, see that my harnesse, my tergat, and my shield,
Be made as bright now, as when I was last in fielde, 15
As white as I shoulde to warre againe to morrowe:
For sicke shall I be, but I worke some folke sorow.
Therfore see that all shine as bright as sainct George,
Or as doth a key newly come from the Smiths forge.
I woulde have my sworde and harnesse to shine so bright,[541]
F iii _b_ 20
That I might therwith dimme mine enimies sight,
I would have it cast beames as fast I tell you playne,
As doth the glittryng grasse after a showre of raine.
And see that in case I shoulde neede to come to arming,
All things may be ready at a minutes warning, 25
For such chaunce may chaunce in an houre, do ye heare?

_M. Mery._ As perchance shall not chaunce againe in seven yeare.

_R. Royster._ Now draw we neare to hir, and here what shall be sayde.
[_Advances towards Cust._]

_M. Mery._ But I woulde not have you make hir too muche afrayde.

_R. Royster._ Well founde sweete wife[542] (I trust) for al this your
soure looke. 30

_C. Custance._ Wife, why cal ye me wife?

_Sim Sure._ [_enters while the last words are spoken_]. Wife? this
gear goth acrook.

_M. Mery._ Nay mistresse Custance, I warrant you, our letter
Is not as we redde een nowe, but much better,
And where ye halfe stomaked this gentleman afore,
For this same letter, ye wyll love hym now therefore, 35
Nor it is not this letter, though ye were a queene,
That shoulde breake marriage betweene you twaine I weene.

_C. Custance._ I did not refuse hym for the letters sake.

_R. Royster._ Then ye are content me for your husbande to take.

_C. Custance._ You for my husbande to take? nothing lesse truely. 40

_R. Royster._ Yea say so, sweete spouse, afore straungers hardly.

_M. Mery._ And though I have here his letter of love with me,
Yet his ryng and tokens he sent, keepe safe with ye.

_C. Custance._ A mischiefe take his tokens, and him and thee too.
But what prate I with fooles? have I nought else to doo? 45
Come in with me Sym Suresby to take some repast.

_Sim Sure._ I must ere I drinke by your leave, goe in all hast,
To a place or two, with earnest letters of his.

_C. Custance._ Then come drink here with me.

_Sim Sure._ I thank you.

_C. Custance._ Do not misse.
You shall have a token to your maister with you. 50

_Sym Sure._ No tokens this time gramercies, God be with you.
_Exeat._

_C. Custance._ Surely this fellowe misdeemeth some yll in me.
Which thing but God helpe, will go neere to spill me.

_R. Royster._ Yea farewell fellow, and tell thy maister Goodlucke
That he cometh to late of thys blossome to plucke. F iv 55
Let him keepe him there still, or at least wise make no hast.
As for his labour hither he shall spende in wast.
His betters be in place nowe.

_M. Mery_ [_aside_]. As long as it will hold.

_C. Custance._ I will be even with thee thou beast, thou mayst be
bolde.

_R. Royster._ Will ye have us then? 60

_C. Custance._ I will never have thee.[543]

_R. Royster._ Then will I have you!

_C. Custance._ No, the devill shall have thee.
I have gotten this houre more shame and harme by thee,
Then all thy life days thou canst do me honestie.

_M. Mery [to Roister_]. Why nowe may ye see what it comth too in the
ende,
To make a deadly foe of your most loving frende: 65
[_To Custance_]. And ywis this letter if ye woulde heare it now--

_C. Custance._ I will heare none of it.

_M. Mery_ [_to Cust._]. In faith would ravishe you.

_C. Custance._ He hath stained my name for ever this is cleare.

_R. Royster._ I can make all as well in an houre--

_M. Mery_ [_aside_]. As ten yeare--
[_To Cust._]. How say ye, will ye have him? 70

_C. Custance._ No.

_M. Mery._ Will ye take him?

_C. Custance._ I defie him.

_M. Mery._ At my word?

_C. Custance._ A shame take him.
Waste no more wynde, for it will never bee.

_M. Mery._ This one faulte with twaine shall be mended, ye shall see.
Gentle mistresse Custance now, good mistresse Custance,
Honey mistresse Custance now, sweete mistresse Custance, 75
Golden mistresse Custance now, white[544] mistresse Custance,
Silken mistresse Custance now, faire mistresse Custance.

_C. Custance._ Faith rather than to mary with suche a doltishe loute,
I woulde matche my selfe with a beggar out of doute.

_M. Mery._ Then I can say no more, to speede we are not like, 80
Except ye rappe out a ragge of your Rhetorike.

_C. Custance._ Speake not of winnyng me: for it shall never be so.

_R. Royster._ Yes dame, I will have you whether ye will or no,
I commaunde you to love me, wherfore shoulde ye not?
Is not my love to you chafing and burning hot? 85

_M. Mery._ Too hir, that is well sayd.

_R. Royster._ Shall I so breake my braine
To dote upon you, and ye not love us againe?

_M. Mery._ Wel sayd yet.

_C. Custance._ Go to[,] you goose.

_R. Royster._ I say Kit Custance,
In case ye will not haze,[545] well, better yes perchaunce.
F iv _b_

_C. Custance._ Avaunt lozell,[546] picke thee hence. 90

_M. Mery._ Well sir, ye perceive,
For all your kinde offer, she will not you receive.

_R. Royster._ Then a strawe for hir, and a strawe for hir againe,
She shall not be my wife, woulde she never so faine,
No and though she would be at ten thousand pounde cost.

_M. Mery._ Lo dame, ye may see what an husbande ye have lost. 95

_C. Custance._ Yea, no force, a jewell muche better lost than founde.

_M. Mery._ Ah, ye will not beleve how this doth my heart wounde.
How shoulde a mariage betwene you be towarde,
If both parties drawe backe, and become so frowarde.

_R. Royster_ [_threatening, advancing upon Cust._]. Nay dame, I will
fire thee out of thy house,[547] 100
And destroy thee and all thine, and that by and by.

_M. Mery._ Nay for the passion of God sir, do not so.

_R. Royster._ Yes, except she will say yea to that she sayd no.

_C. Custance._ And what, be there no officers trow we, in towne
To checke idle loytrers,[548] braggyng up and downe? 105
Where be they, by whome vacabunds shoulde be represt?
That poore sillie[549] Widowes might live in peace and rest.
Shall I never ridde thee out of my companie?
I will call for helpe, what hough, come forth Trupenie.

_Trupenie_ [_entering_]. Anon. What is your will mistresse? dyd ye
call me? 110

_C. Custance._ Yea, go runne apace, and as fast as may be,
Pray Tristram Trusty, my moste assured frende,
To be here by and by, that he may me defende.

_Trupenie._ That message so quickly shall be done by Gods grace,
That at my returne ye shall say, I went apace. _Exeat._ 115

_C. Custance._ Then shall we see I trowe, whether ye shall do me
harme,

_R. Royster._ Yes in faith Kitte, I shall thee[550] and thine so
charme,
That all women incarnate by thee may beware.

_C. Custance._ Nay, as for charming me, come hither if thou dare,
I shall cloute thee tyll thou stinke, both thee and thy
traine, 120
And coyle thee mine owne handes, and sende thee home againe.

_R. Royster._ Yea sayst thou me that dame? dost thou me threaten?
Goe we, I still see whether I shall be beaten. Gi

_M. Mery._ Nay for the paishe[551] of God, let me now treate peace,
For bloudshed will there be in case this strife increace. 125
Ah good dame Custance, take better way with you.

_C. Custance._ Let him do his worst.

_M. Mery._ [_Roister advances upon Cust., attempts to strike_]. Yeld
in time. [_to Cust._]

_R. Royster_ [_is beaten back by Cust.; retiring to Mery._:]. Come
hence thou. _Exeant Roister et Mery._

Actus. iiii. Scæna. iiii.

CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE. ANOT ALYFACE. TIBET T. M. MUMBLECRUST.

_C. Custance._ So sirra, if I should not with hym take this way,
I should not be ridde of him I thinke till doomes day,
I will call forth my folkes, that without any mockes
If he come agayne we may give him rappes and knockes.
Mage Mumblecrust, come forth, and Tibet Talke apace. 5
Yea and come forth too, mistresse Annot Alyface.
[_Enter the maids._]
_Annot Aly._ I come.

_Tibet._ And I am here.

_M. Mumb._ And I am here too at length.

_C. Custance._ Like warriers if nede bee, ye must shew your strength
The man that this day hath thus begiled you,
Is Ralph Roister Doister, whome ye know well inowe,[552] 10
The moste loute and dastarde that ever on grounde trode.

_Tib. Talk._ I see all folke mocke hym when he goth abrode.

_C. Custance._ What pretie maide? will ye talke when I speake?

_Tib. Talk._ No forsooth good mistresse.

_C. Custance._ Will ye my tale breake?
He threatneth to come hither with all his force to fight, 15
I charge you if he come[:] on him with all your might[!]

_M. Mumbl._ I with my distaffe will reache hym one rappe,

_Tib. Talk._ And I with my newe broome will sweepe hym one swappe,
And then with our greate clubbe I will reache hym one rappe[--]

_An. Aliface._ And I with our skimmer will fling him one flappe. 20

_Tib. Talk._ Then Trupenies fireforke will him shrewdly fray,
And you with the spitte may drive him quite away.

_C. Custance._ Go make all ready, that it may be een so. Gi _b_

_Tib. Talk._ For my parte I shrewe them that last about it go.
_Exeant._

Actus. iiii. Scæna. v.

CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE. TRUPENIE. TRISTRAM TRUSTY. C. CUSTANCE.

_C. Custance._ Trupenie dyd promise me to runne a great pace,
My friend Tristram Trusty to set into this place.
Indeede he dwelleth hence a good stert[553] I confesse:
But yet a quicke messanger might twice since[,] as I gesse,
Have gone and come againe. Ah yond I spie him now. 5

_Trupeny_ [_enters with Trusty, whom he leaves behind_]. Ye are a slow
goer sir, I make God avow.
My mistresse Custance will in me put all the blame.
Your leggs be longer than myne: come apace for shame.

_C. Custance._ I can[554] thee thanke Trupenie, thou hast done right
wele.

_Trupeny._ Maistresse since I went no grasse hath growne on my hele, 10
But maister Tristram Trustie here maketh no speede.

_C. Custance._ That he came at all I thanke him in very deede,
For now have I neede of the helpe of some wise man.

_T. Trusty._ Then may I be gone againe, for none such I [a]m.

_Trupenie._ Ye may bee by your going: for no Alderman 15
Can goe I dare say, a sadder pace than ye can.

_C. Custance._ Trupenie get thee in, thou shalt among them knowe,
How to use thy selfe, like a propre man I trowe.

_Trupeny._ I go. [_Ex._]

_C. Custance._ Now Tristram Trusty I thank you right much.
For at my first sending to come ye never grutch. 20

_T. Trusty._ Dame Custance God ye saue, and while my life shall last,
For my friende Goodlucks sake ye shall not sende in wast.

_C. Custance._ He shal give you thanks.

_T. Trusty._ I will do much for his sake[!]

_C. Custance._ But alack, I feare, great displeasure shall be take.

_T. Trusty._ Wherfore? 25

_C. Custance._ For a foolish matter.

_T. Trusty._ What is your cause[?]

_C. Custance._ I am yll accombred with a couple of dawes.

_T. Trusty._ Nay weepe not woman: but tell me what your cause is G ii
As concerning my friende is any thing amisse?

_C. Custance._ No not on my part: but here was Sym Suresby[--]

_T. Trustie._ He was with me and told me so. 30

_C. Custance._ And he stoode by
While Ralph Roister Doister with helpe of Merygreeke,
For promise of mariage dyd unto me seeke.[555]

_T. Trusty._ And had ye made any promise before them twaine[?]

_C. Custance._ No I had rather be torne in pieces and flaine,
No man hath my faith and trouth, but Gawyn Goodlucke, 35
And that before Suresby dyd I say, and there stucke,
But of certaine letters there were suche words spoken.

_T. Trustie._ He tolde me that too.

_C. Custance._ And of a ring and token.
That Suresby I spied, dyd more than halfe suspect,
That I my faith to Gawyn Goodlucke dyd reiect. 40

_T. Trusty._ But there was no such matter dame Custance in deede?

_C. Custance._ If ever my head thought it, God sende me yll speede.
Wherfore I beseech you, with me to be a witnesse,
That in all my lyfe I never intended thing lesse,
And what a brainsicke foole Ralph Roister Doister is, 45
Your selfe know well enough.

_T. Trusty._ Ye say full true ywis.

_C. Custance._ Bicause to bee his wife I ne graunt nor apply,[556]
Hither will he com he sweareth by and by,
To kill both me and myne, and beate downe my house flat.
Therfore I pray your aide. 50

_T. Trustie._ I warrant you that.

_C. Custance._ Have I so many yeres lived a sobre life,
And shewed my selfe honest, mayde, widowe, and wyfe
And nowe to be abused in such a vile sorte,
Ye see howe poore Widowes lyve all voyde of comfort.

_T. Trusty._ I warrant hym do you no harme nor wrong at all. 55

_C. Custance._ No, but Mathew Merygreeke doth me most appall,[557]
That he woulde joyne hym selfe with suche a wretched loute.

_T. Trusty._ He doth it for a jest I knowe hym out of doubte,
And here cometh Merygreke.

_C. Custance._ Then shal we here his mind.

Actus. iiii. Scæna. vi. G ii _b_

MERYGREKE. CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE. TRIST. TRUSTY.

_M. Mery._ Custance and Trustie both, I doe you here well finde.

_C. Custance._ Ah Mathew Merygreeke, ye have used me well.

_M. Mery._ Nowe for altogether[558] ye must your answere tell.
Will ye have this man, woman? or else will ye not?
Else will he come never bore so brymme[559] nor tost so hot. 5

_Tris. and Cu._ But why joyn ye with him.

_T. Trusty._ For mirth?

_C. Custance._ Or else in sadnesse[?]

_M. Mery._ The more fond of you both! hardly yᵉ[560] mater gesse[!]

_Tristram._ Lo how say ye dame?

_M. Mery._ Why do ye thinke dame Custance
That in this wowyng I have ment ought but pastance?

_C. Custance._[561] Much things ye spake, I wote, to maintaine his
dotage. 10

_M. Mery._ But well might ye judge I spake it all in mockage?[562]
For why? Is Roister Doister a fitte husband for you?

_T. Trusty._ I dare say ye never thought it.

_M. Mery._ No to God I vow.
And did not I knowe afore of the insurance[563]
Betweene Gawyn Goodlucke, and Christian Custance? 15
And dyd not I for the nonce, by my conveyance,[564]
Reade his letter in a wrong sense for daliance?
That if you coulde have take it up at the first bounde,
We should therat such a sporte and pastime have founde,
That all the whole towne should have ben the merier. 20

_C. Custance._ Ill ake your heades both, I was never werier,
Nor never more vexte since the first day I was borne.

_T. Trusty._ But very well I wist he here did all in scorne.

_C. Custance._ But I feared thereof to take dishonestie.

_M. Mery._ This should both have made sport, and shewed your
honestie 25
And Goodlucke I dare sweare, your witte therin would low.

_T. Trusty._ Yea, being no worse than we know it to be now.

_M. Mery._ And nothing yet to late, for when I come to him,
Hither will he repaire with a sheepes looke full grim,
By plaine force and violence to drive you to yelde. G iii 30

_C. Custance._ It ye two bidde me, we will with him pitche a fielde,
I and my maides together.

_M. Mery._ Let us see, be bolde.

_C. Custance._ Ye shall see womens warre.

_T. Trusty._ That fight wil I behold.

_M. Mery._ If occasion serve, takyng his parte full brim,
I will strike at you, but the rappe shall light on him. 35
When we first appeare.

_C. Custance._ Then will I runne away
As though I were afeard.

_T. Trusty._ Do you that part wel play
And I will sue for peace.

_M. Mery._ And I wil set him on.
Then will he looke as fierce as a Cotssold lyon.[565]

_T. Trusty._ But when gost thou for him? 40

_M. Mery._ That do I very nowe.

_C. Custance._ Ye shall find us here.

_M. Mery._ Wel god have mercy on you. _Ex._

_T. Trusty._ There is no cause of feare, the least boy in the streete:

_C. Custance._ Nay, the least girle I have, will make him take his
feete.
But hearke, me thinke they make preparation.

_T. Trusty._ No force, it will be a good recreation. 45

_C. Custance._ I will stand within, and steppe forth speedily,
And so make as though I ranne away dreadfully. [_Exeant._]

Actus. iiii. Scæna. vii.

R. ROYSTER. M. MERYGREEKE. C. CUSTANCE. D. DOUGHTIE. HARPAX. TRISTRAM
TRUSTY.

_R. Royster._ Nowe sirs, keepe your ray,[566] and see your heartes be
stoute,
But where be these caitifes, me think they dare not route,[567]
How sayst thou Merygreeke? What doth Kit Custance say?

_M. Mery._ I am loth to tell you.

_R. Royster._ Tushe speake man, yea or nay?

_M. Mery._ Forsooth sir, I have spoken for you all that I can. 5
But if ye winne hir, ye must een play the man,
Een to fight it out, ye must a mans heart take.

_R. Royster._ Yes, they shall know, and[568] thou knowest I have a
stomacke.

[_M. Mery._] A stomacke (quod you) yea, as good as ere man had.
G iii _b_

_R. Royster._ I trowe they shall finde and feele that I am a lad. 10

_M. Mery._ By this crosse I have seene you eate your meate as well,
As any that ere I have seene of or heard tell,
A stomacke quod you? he that will that denie
I know was never at dynner in your companie.

_R. Royster._ Nay, the stomacke of a man it is that I meane. 15

_M. Mery._ Nay the stomacke of a horse or a dogge I weene.

_R. Royster._ Nay a mans stomacke with a weapon meane I.

_M. Mery._ Ten men can scarce match you with a spoone in a pie.

_R. Royster._ Nay the stomake of a man to trie in strife.

_M. Mery._ I never sawe your stomake cloyed yet in my lyfe. 20

_R. Royster._ Tushe I meane in strife or fighting to trie.

_M. Mery._ We shall see how ye will strike nowe being angry.

_R. Royster_ [_strikes M._]. Have at thy pate then, and save thy head
if thou may.

_M. Mery._ [_strikes R. again_]. Nay then have at your pate agyne by
this day,

_R. Royster._ Nay thou mayst not strike at me againe in no wise. 25

_M. Mery._ I can not in fight make to you suche warrantise:
But as for your foes here let them the bargaine bie.[569]

_R. Royster._ Nay as for they, shall every mothers childe die.
And in this my fume a little thing might make me,
To beate downe house and all, and else the devill take me. 30

_M. Mery._ If I were as ye be, by gogs deare mother,
I woulde not leave one stone upon an other.
Though she woulde redeeme it with twentie thousand poundes.

_R. Royster._ It shall be even so, by his lily woundes.

_M. Mery._ Bee not at one with hir upon any amendes. 35

_R. Royster._ No though she make to me never so many frendes.
Nor if all the worlde for hir woulde undertake,[570]
No not God hymselfe neither, shal not hir peace make,
On therfore, marche forwarde,--soft, stay a whyle yet.[!]

_M. Mery._ On. 40

_R. Royster._ Tary.

_M. Mery._ Forth.

_R. Royster._ Back.

_M. Mery._ On.

_R. Royster._ Soft. Now forward set. [_march against the house._]

_C. Custance_ [_entering_:]. What businesse have we here? out[!]
alas, alas! [_retires for fun._]

_R. Royster._ Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Dydst thou see that Merygreeke? how afrayde she was?
Dydst thou see how she fledde apace out of my sight? [G iv]
Ah good sweete Custance I pitie hir by this light. 45

_M. Mery._ That tender heart of yours wyll marre altogether,
Thus will ye be turned with waggyng of a fether.

_R. Royster._ On sirs, keepe your ray.

_M. Mery._ On forth, while this geare is hot.

_R. Royster._ Soft, the Armes of Caleys, I have one thing forgot.

_M. Mery._ What lacke we now? 50

_R. Royster._ Retire, or else we be all slain.

_M. Mery._ Backe for the pashe of God, backe sirs, backe againe.
What is the great mater?

_R. Royster._ This hastie forth goyng
Had almost brought us all to utter undoing,
It made me forget a thing most necessarie.

_M. Mery._ Well remembered of a captaine by sainct Marie. 55

_R. Royster._ It is a thing must be had.

_M. Mery._ Let us have it then.

_R. Royster._ But I wote not where nor how.

_M. Mery._ Then wote not I when.
But what is it?

_R. Royster._ Of a chiefe thing I am to seeke.

_M. Mery._ Tut so will ye be, when ye have studied a weke.
But tell me what it is? 60

_R. Royster._ I lacke yet an hedpiece.

_M. Mery._ The kitchen collocauit,[571] the best hennes to grece,
Runne, fet it Dobinet, and come at once withall,
And bryng with thee my potgunne, hangyng by the wall,
[_Dobinet goes_]
I have seene your head with it full many a tyme,
Covered as safe as it had bene with a skrine: 65
And I warrant it save your head from any stroke,
Except perchaunce to be amased[572] with the smoke:
I warrant your head therwith, except for the mist,
As safe as if it were fast locked up in a chist: [_Dob. enters_]
And loe here our Dobinet commeth with it nowe. 70

_D. Dough._ I will cover me to the shoulders well inow.

_M. Mery._ Let me see it on.

_R. Royster._ In fayth it doth metely well.

_M. Mery._ There can be no fitter thing. Now ye must us tell
What to do.

_R. Royster._ Now forth in ray sirs, and stoppe no more. 73

_M. Mery._ Now sainct George to borow,[573] Drum dubbe a dubbe afore.

_T. Trusty._ [_entering_]. What meane you to do sir, committe
manslaughter.

_R. Royster._ To kyll fortie such, is a matter of laughter.

_T. Trusty._ And who is it sir, whome ye intende thus to spill?
G iv _b_

_R. Royster._ Foolishe Custance here forceth me against my will.

_T. Trusty._ And is there no meane your extreme wrath to slake. 80
She shall some amendes unto your good mashyp make.

_R. Royster._ I will none amendes.

_T. Trusty._ Is hir offence so sore?

_M. Mery._ And he were a loute she coulde have done no more.
She hath calde him foole, and dressed him like a foole.
Mocked him lyke a foole, used him like a foole. 85

_T. Trusty._ Well yet the Sheriffe, the Justice, or Constable,
Hir misdemeanour to punishe might be able.

_R. Royster._ No sir, I mine owne selfe will in this present cause,
Be Sheriffe, and Justice, and whole Judge of the lawes,
This matter to amende, all officers be I shall, 90
Constable, Bailiffe, Sergeant.

_M. Mery._ And hangman and all.

_T. Trusty._ Yet a noble courage, and the hearte of a man
Should more honour winne by bearyng with a woman.
Therfore take the lawe, and lette hir aunswere thereto.

_R. Royster._ Merygreeke, the best way were even so to do. 95
What honour should it be with a woman to fight?

_M. Mery._ And what then, will ye thus forgo and lese your right?

_R. Royster._ Nay, I will take the lawe on hir withouten grace.

_T. Trusty._ Or yf your mashyp coulde pardon this one trespace.
I pray you forgive hir. 100

_R. Royster._ Hoh?

_M. Mery._ Tushe tushe sir do not.
Be good maister to hir.

_R. Royster._ Hoh?

_M. Mery._ Tush I say do not.
And what shall your people here returne streight home?

_T. Trustie._ Yea, levie the campe sirs, and hence againe eche
one,[574]

_R. Royster._ But be still in readinesse if I happe to call,
I can not tell what sodaine chaunce may befall. 105

_M. Mery._ Do not off your harnesse sirs I you advise,
At the least for this fortnight in no maner wise,
Perchaunce in an houre when all ye thinke least,
Our maisters appetite to fight will be best.
But soft, ere ye go, have once at Custance house. 110

_R. Royster._ Soft, what wilt thou do?

_M. Mery._ Once discharge my harquebouse
And for my heartes ease, have once more with my potgoon. H i

_R. Royster._ Holde thy handes else is all our purpose cleane
fordoone.

_M. Mery._ And it cost me my life.

_R. Royster._ I say thou shalt not.

_M. Mery_ [_making a mock assault_]. By the matte[575] but I will.
Have once more with haile shot. 115
I will have some penyworth, I will not leese all.

Actus. iiii. Scæna. viii.[576]