Chapter I: Front Matter

"The Printing House of the United States,"

GEO. F. NESBITT & CO.,

General JOB PRINTERS, BLANK BOOK Manufacturers, STATIONERS, Wholesale and Retail, LITHOGRAPHIC Engravers and Printers, COPPER-PLATE Engravers and Printers, CARD Manufacturers, ENVELOPE Manufacturers, FINE CUT and COLOR Printers.

163, 165, 167, and 169 PEARL ST., 73, 75, 77, and 79 PINE ST., New-York.

ADVANTAGES. All on the same premises, and under the immediate supervision of the proprietors.

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WALTHAM WATCHES.

3-4 PLATE.

_16 and 30 Sizes._

To the manufacture of these fine Watches the Company have devoted all the science and skill in the art at their command, and confidently claim that, for fineness and beauty, no less than for the greater excellences of mechanical and scientific correctness of design and execution, these watches are unsurpassed anywhere.

In this country the manufacture of this fine grade of Watches is not even attempted except at Waltham.

FOR SALE BY ALL LEADING JEWELLERS.

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MOLLER'S PUREST NORWEGIAN

COD-LIVER OIL.

"Of late years it has become almost impossible to get any Cod-Liver Oil that patients can digest, owing to the objectionable mode of procuring and preparing the livers....Moller, of Christiana, Norway, prepares an oil which is perfectly pure, and in every respect all that can be wished."-- DR. L. A. SAYRE, before Academy of Medicine. See _Medical Record_, December, 1869, p. 447.

SOLD BY DRUGGISTS,

W. H. SCHIEFFELIN & CO.,

Sole Agents for the United States and Canada.

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PUNCHINELLO

SATURDAY, APRIL 9, 1870.

PUBLISHED BY THE

PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY,

83 NASSAU STREET, NEW-YORK.

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PUNCHINELLO April 9, 1870

APPLICATIONS FOR ADVERTISING IN

"PUNCHINELLO"

Should be addressed to

J. NICKINSON,

Room No. 4,

83 NASSAU STREET.

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THE "BREWSTER WAGON,"

The Standard for Style and Quality.

BREWSTER & COMPANY,

of Broome Street.

WAREROOMS,

Fifth Avenue, corner of Fourteenth Street.

ELEGANT CARRIAGES,

_In all the fashionable Varieties,_

EXCLUSIVELY OF OUR OWN BUILD.

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Thomas J. Rayner & Co.,

29 LIBERTY STREET,

New-York,

MANUFACTURERS OF THE

_Finest Cigars made in the United States._

All sizes and styles. Prices very moderate. Samples sent to any responsible house. Also importers of the

_"FUSBOS" BRAND,_

Equal in quality to the best of the Havana market, and for ten to twenty per cent cheaper.

Restaurant, Bar, Hotel, and Saloon trade will save money by calling at

29 LIBERTY STREET.

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GEO. BOWLEND,

ARTIST,

Room No. 11,

No. 160 FULTON STREET,

NEW-YORK.

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WEVILL & HAMMAR,

Wood Engravers,

No. 208 BROADWAY,

NEW-YORK.

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PUNCHINELLO.

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With a large and varied experience in the management and publication of a paper of the class herewith submitted, and with the still more positive advantage of an Ample Capital to justify the undertaking, the

PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING C0.

OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK

Presents to the public for approval, the

NEW ILLUSTRATED HUMOROUS AND SATIRICAL

WEEKLY PAPER,

PUNCHINELLO,

The first number of which will be Issued under date of April 2, 1870, and thereafter weekly.

PUNCHINELLO will be _National_, and not _local_; and will endeavour to become a household word in all parts of the country; and to that end has secured a

VALUABLE CORPS OF CONTRIBUTORS

in various sections of the Union, while its columns will always be open to appropriate first-class literary and artistic talent.

PUNCHINELLO will be entirely original; humorous and witty, without vulgarity, and satirical without malice. It will be printed on a superior tinted paper of sixteen pages, size 13 by 9, and will be for sale by all respectable newsdealers who have the judgment to know a good thing when they see it, or by subscription from this office.

The Artistic department will be in charge of Henry L. Stephens, whose celebrated cartoons in VANITY FAIR placed him in the front rank of humorous artists, assisted by leading artists in their respective specialties.

The management of the paper will be in the hands of WILLIAM A. STEPHENS, with whom is associated CHARLES DAWSON SHANLY, both of whom were identified with VANITY FAIR.

ORIGINAL ARTICLES,

Suitable for the paper, and Original Designs, or suggestive ideas or sketches for Illustrations, upon the topics of the day, are always acceptable, and will be paid for liberally.

Rejected communications can not be returned, unless postage stamps are inclosed.

Terms:

One copy, per year, in advance.................... $4.00

Single copes, ten cents.

A specimen copy will be mailed free upon the receipt of ten cents.

One copy, with the Riverside Magazine, or any other magazine or paper price, $2.50, for..................... 5.50

One copy, with any magazine or paper price, $4, for.... 7.00

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All communications, remittances, etc., to be addressed to

PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING CO.,

No. 83 Nassau Street,

NEW-YORK,

P.O. Box 2783.

(_For terms to Clubs, see 16th page._)

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Mercantile Library

Clinton Hall, Astor Place

NEW-YORK.

This is now the largest circulating Library In America, the number of volumes on its shelves being 114,000. About 1000 volumes are added each month; and very large purchases are made of all new and popular works.

Books are delivered at members' residences for five cents each delivery.

TERMS OF MEMBERSHIP:

TO CLERKS,

$1 Initiation, $3 Annual Dues.

TO OTHERS, $5 a year.

SUBSCRIPTIONS TAKEN FOR SIX MONTHS.

BRANCH OFFICES

AT

NO. 76 CEDAR STREET, NEW-YORK,

and at

Yonkers, Norwalk, Stamford, and Elizabeth.

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AMERICAN

BUTTONHOLE, OVERSEAMING

AND

SEWING-MACHINE CO.,

563 Broadway, New-York.

This great combination machine is the last and greatest improvement on all former machines, making, in addition to all the work done on best Lock-Stitch machines, beautiful

BUTTON AND EYELET HOLES:

in all fabrics.

Machine, with finely finished

OILED WALNUT TABLE AND COVER

complete,$75. Same machine, without the buttonhole parts, $60. This last is beyond all question the simplest, easiest to manage and to keep in order, of any machine in the market. Machines warranted, and full instruction given to purchasers.

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HENRY SPEAR

STATIONER, PRINTER

AND

BLANK BOOK MANUFACTURER,

ACCOUNT BOOKS

MADE TO ORDER.

PRINTING OF EVERY DESCRIPTION.

82 Wall Street

NEW-YORK.

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THE UMBRELLA. A VIEW OF THE SHADY SIDE OF LIFE.

A ripe pippin falling upon the head of Sir ISAAC NEWTON (a clear case of hard cider on the brain) suggested the laws of gravitation. An elderly countryman passing my window this clear bright day, attended by his faithful umbrella, suggested the following reflections.

The term Umbrella comes from the Latin _umbra_, a shade--the whole signifying "keep shady."

This definition well describes the nature of the article; for, as it undoubtedly "keeps shady" in fine weather when the sun is fervent, so it is apt to "keep shady" in rainy weather, when most wanted.

It is as difficult to say when the umbrella came, or where it came from, as it is to tell where it goes to. Rumor hath it, however, that it came in (that is, out of the rain) with NOAH. The story (as given us by an antiquarian relative) says that when the Ark was built the camelopard was forgotten, and it was found necessary to cut a hole in the roof to accommodate the animal's neck. This done, SHEM sat upon the roof and held an umbrella. SHEM thus _raised_ the umbrella. Then our further question follows, Where did he raise it? Evidently he raised the umbrella on the Ark.

These theories seem to us to be entitled to serious consideration; and certainly it is a reasonable belief that, as the present suffering from the high price of clothing is due to the sin of our first parents, so the umbrella is the curse entailed by royalty, coming in with the First Reign spoken of in history.

The umbrella appears again in ancient time in connection with DANIEL, who, it is said, carried one into the lions' den. The authority for this is a historical painting that has fallen into the hands of an itinerant showman. A curious fact is stated with reference to this picture, namely, that DANIEL so closely resembled the lions in personal appearance that it was necessary for the showman to state that "DANIEL might easily be distinguished from the lions on account of the blue cotton umbrella under his right arm."

For what purpose this umbrella may have been carried we can only surmise.

The most probable theory is, that it was to be used there to intimidate the lions, as it has since been used toward mad bulls and other ferocious beasts.

We have now taken hold pretty firmly of what may be called the handle of the umbrella. We have learned that, as ADAM raised CAIN, NOAH raised the umbrella, and DANIEL carried one.

We have learned further that the umbrella carried by DANIEL was a blue cotton umbrella--undoubtedly the most primitive type of the umbrella.

It is one of this class that your country friend brings down with him, that darkeneth the heavens as with a canopy and maketh you ashamed of your company. It is such an umbrella as this that is to be found or might have been found, in ancient days, in every old farm-house--one that covered the whole household when it went to church, occupying as much room when closed as would the tent of an Arab.

We have heard it said that it was the impossibility of two umbrellas of this nature passing each other on a narrow road which led to the invention of covered wagons.

There is nothing lovely about a blue cotton umbrella, though there may have been _under_ it at times and seasons. Skeletons of the species, much faded as to color, much weakened as to whalebone, may still be found here and there in backwoods settlements, where they are known as "umbrells;" there are but few perfect specimens in existence.

The present style of the umbrella is varied, and sometimes elegant. The cover is of silk; the ribs are of steel oftener than of bone, and the handle is wrought into divers quaint and beautiful shapes. The most common kind is the _hooked umbrella_. Most people have hooked umbrellas--or, if this statement be offensive to any one, we will say that most people have had umbrellas hooked. The chance resemblance of this expression to one signifying to obstruct illegally that which properly belongs to another, reminds us to speak of the singular fact that the umbrella is not property. This is important. It rests on judicial decision, and becomes more important when we remember that by similar decision the negro is property, and that, therefore, until emancipation, the umbrella was superior to the negro. The judicial decision cited will be found reported in _Vanity Fair_, liber 3, page 265, and was on this wise: A man being arraigned for stealing an umbrella, pleaded that it rained at the time, and he had no umbrella. On these grounds he was discharged, and the judge took the umbrella. (We may notice here how closely this decision has been followed, even down to modern times, and touching other matters than umbrellas.)

This established the fact that the umbrella was not property that could be bought, sold, and stolen, but a free gift of the manufacturer to universal creation. The right of ownership in umbrellas ranked henceforward with our right to own the American continent, being merely a right by discovery.

(TO BE CONTINUED.)

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Depressing for Chicago.

The Chicago press has given up all hopes of the PRINCE OF WALES since he has proved his innocence in regard to Lady MORDAUNT. Chicago had begun to look upon him with mildly patronizing favor, when he was accused of a share in a really first-class divorce case; but now that his innocence is established, there is no longer any extenuating circumstance which can induce Chicago to overlook the infamous crime of his royal birth.

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Latest from the Isthmus of Suez.

Of all men, the followers of MOHAMMED are the most candid; since no matter of what you accuse them, they always acknowledge the Koran.

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Right and Left.

Because the P.& O. Directors have suspended their EYRE, we are not called upon to suspend our anger. We decline to believe that he can justify himself in leaving the Oneida, however blameless he may have been in the matter of the collision. Because the Oneida was Left it does not follow that the Bombay was Right.

_Mrs. Pugsby_. "BUT MIGHTN'T THAT HURT HIM?"]

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THE PLAYS AND SHOWS.

Mr. BOUCICAULT might properly be called the author of the elementary Drama. Not because his plays, like elementary lessons in French, are peculiarly aggravating to the well-regulated mind, but because of his fondness for employing one of the elements of nature--fire, water, or golden hair--in the production of the sensation which invariably takes place in the fourth or fifth act of each of his popular dramas. In the _Streets of New-York_, he made a hit by firing a building at the spectacularly disposed audience. In _Formosa_, he gave us a boat-race; and in _Lost at Sea_, now running at WALLACK'S, he has renewed his former fondness for playing with fire. The following condensed version of this play is offered to the readers of PUNCHINELLO, with the assurance that, though it may be a little more coherent than the unabridged edition, it is a faithful picture of the sort of thing that Mr. BOUCICAULT, aided and abetted by Mr. WALLACK, thinks proper to offer to the public.

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LOST AT SEA.