Chapter XXIV

The wedding-day--Enormous excitement in the village--Preparations
for the event--The conduct of Bob Parker--The
ceremony at the church, and the company at Magruder's--A
last look at some old friends--Departure of the bride and
groom--Some uncommonly solemn reflections, and then--The
end 387

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

No. Page
1.--FRONTISPIECE.
2.--TITLE PAGE 1
3.--THE FOUNDER OF THE VILLAGE (_Initial Letter_) 25
4.--A PROFESSOR OF MUSIC 26
5.--A DISGUSTED AGRICULTURIST 28
6.--NEW CASTLE FROM THE RIVER (_Full Page_) 32
7.--THE REAL PEASANT-GIRL (_Initial Letter_) 36
8.--A DANGEROUS INVENTION 37
9.--THE EARLY MORNING FIRE 39
10.--THE IDEAL PEASANT-GIRL 42
11.--UNSYMMETRICAL COLD BEEF 43
12.--THE VIEW DOWN THE RIVER (_Full Page_) 46
13.--A FAMILY JAR (_Initial Letter_) 47
14.--A MUSICAL NAVIGATOR 48
15.--THE NOCTURNAL DOG 49
16.--MR. SAWYER'S NOSE 52
17.--THE MAN WITH THE CENTURY PLANT 53
18.--A LIVELY VEGETABLE 54
19.--JUDGE PITMAN'S BAG (_Initial Letter_) 56
20.--THE JUDGE INTRODUCES HIMSELF 57
21.--PITMAN'S MUSICAL EXPERIMENT 59
22.--THAT INFAMOUS EGG 60
23.--THE DOG BY THE WAYSIDE 61
24.--CATCHING THE TRAIN 61
25.--HAULED IN 62
26.--MY LUNG EXERCISE 64
27.--AN ALTERCATION WITH COOLEY 66
28.--A FEMALE PROFESSOR (_Initial Letter_) 68
29.--THE LAMP TURNED LOW 68
30.--STUDYING UP 69
31.--PARKER RELATING HIS WOES 69
32.--MAGRUDER'S WOOING 72
33.--A QUEER FEELING IN HIS HEAD 72
34.--MAGRUDER TELLS HIS BROTHER 73
35.--THE CLASS GOING UP 74
36.--A SECRETED OBSERVER 74
37.--A GENERAL ATTACK ON THE SUBJECT (_Full Page_) 78
38.--PEEPING THROUGH THE CRACK 79
39.--A FURIOUS HUSBAND 80
40.--AN ASININE BEING (_Initial Letter_) 84
41.--THE COLONEL'S BRAVERY 85
42.--AN INTERVIEW WITH COOLEY 86
43.--THAT TOMBSTONE 87
44.--MR. MULLINS EXPLAINS 88
45.--EXIT MURPHY 89
46.--A LATE CALL 91
47.--A CAPTIVE MAIDEN 91
48.--EXCAVATING HER 92
49.--HER FEET 92
50.--THAT ANTIQUARIAN 92
51.--THE RAGING RHINOCEROS 94
52.--THE KING OF BEASTS 94
53.--THE RIVAL LOVERS 96
54.--ON THE SETTEE 96
55.--SHE SAT ON HIM 97
56.--TOO THIN 97
57.--THE WILD MAN 98
58.--THE FAT WOMAN 98
59.--THE BOY OF THE PERIOD (_Initial Letter_) 99
60.--THE BATTERY (_Full Page_) 102
61.--AN ANCIENT WARRIOR 103
62.--A RAID ON THE MELON-PATCH 105
63.--COMMUNING WITH JONES'S BOY 106
64.--HELD FAST 107
65.--THE SOLEMNITY OF JONES 107
66.--TAKING HIM OUT 108
67.--NOT MATCHED 109
68.--DOSING A CUR 110
69.--OVER THE FENCE AND BACK AGAIN 110
70.--MUCH TOO FAITHFUL 111
71.--CRUELTY TO AN ANIMAL 112
72.--REMOVING A MOUTHFUL 112
73.--A PATRON OF THE "ARGUS" (_Initial Letter_) 113
74.--THE POET 114
75.--THE EDITOR EXPLAINING HIS VIEWS 115
76.--THE THROES OF COMPOSITION 116
77.--A ROW OF READERS 117
78.--TAKING A PEEP 117
79.--THE SCENE IN THE SANCTUM 118
80.--THAT MONKEY 119
81.--MRS. SMITH'S WOE 120
82.--BARTHOLOMEW'S INDIGNANT FATHER 122
83.--MR. MCFADDEN 124
84.--THE EDITOR MEETS THE POET 126
85.--THE COLONEL IN A TIGHT PLACE 127
86.--GOING UP STAIRS 128
87.--IN HIGHLAND COSTUME 130
88.--WHY BOB STAYED 130
89.--SAWING HIM OUT 131
90.--MRS. ADELER'S VIEWS 132
91.--BOB'S TROUSERS 133
92.--THE NEW MAZEPPA (_Initial Letter_) 134
93.--COOLEY AT AN AUCTION 135
94.--OUR URBANE HORSE 136
95.--TRYING TO CATCH UP 138
96.--KICKING 139
97.--A NIGHTMARE 140
98.--HAUNTED 141
99.--AN ARTIFICIAL TAIL 142
100.--A DEMORALIZED HORSE 142
101.--IT CAME OFF! 143
102.--THE MELODRAMATIC FREEBOOTER 144
103.--MRS. JONES'S PIRATE 145
104.--SWEEPING THE HORIZON 146
105.--THE WEEKLY WASH 146
106.--HAILING THE "MARY JANE" 147
107.--A GENERAL MASSACRE 147
108.--THE PATERNAL JONES 148
109.--SHE PUTS ON HER THINGS 148
110.--SLAYING THE CAPTAIN 149
111.--"FALSE! FALSE!" 150
112.--MORE BUTCHERY 150
113.--SUICIDE OF THE WIDOW 150
114.--THE WRECK OF MRS. JONES 151
115.--A CHORISTER (_Initial Letter_) 152
116.--THE SPIRE 153
117.--SINFUL GAMES 154
118.--THE OLD CHURCH (_Full Page_) 156
119.--A CHINESE PRAYER 157
120.--THE MINISTER AND I 157
121.--IN THE PIPE 158
122.--BOB IN THE CHOIR 158
123.--THE UNDERTAKER'S SIGN 159
124.--A GLOOMY MAN 160
125.--VERY WARM WORK 161
126.--COLLAMER FALLS IN 161
127.--THE CLERGYMAN 162
128.--COLLAMER SINGS 162
129.--HE ASKS A QUESTION 163
130.--A RIBALD BOY 163
131.--A FISHERMAN (_Initial Letter_) 164
132.--BRINGING 'EM HOME 164
133.--PUSHING OFF 165
134.--WE CHANGE PLACES 165
135.--COOLING OFF 166
136.--WAITING FOR BITES 166
137.--ANCHOR GONE 166
138.--FIXING AN OAR 167
139.--LOST HIM 167
140.--SAVED 167
141.--A TANGLE 168
142.--THE MAN WHO OWNED THE BOAT 168
143.--A SUCCESSOR OF IZAAK WALTON 169
144.--A DISHEARTENED DIGGER 170
145.--TEARS 171
146.--WATCHING THE CORK 171
147.--A NAKED HOOK 171
148.--THE LAST MATCH 172
149.--CAUGHT ON A LIMB 173
150.--A PLAYFUL EEL 174
151.--WRIGGLING 174
152.--PULLING IN 175
153.--THAT INFAMOUS BOY 175
154.--A SOUTH SEA ISLANDER 177
155.--MR. BLODGETT, MISSIONARY 177
156.--GOING TO THE PICNIC 177
157.--THE VESTRY MEETING 178
158.--PUTTING THEM TO SLEEP 178
159.--THE FUNERAL SERVICE 179
160.--THE REMAINING WARDEN 179
161.--GOING HOME 180
162.--HE PADDLED HIS OWN CANOE 180
163.--SMASHING POOR MOTT 181
164.--A FIJIAN 182
165.--OUR PLUMBER (_Initial Letter_) 183
166.--HE EXAMINES THE RANGE 184
167.--I MEET HIM 184
168.--HOW HE GOES TO WILMINGTON 184
169.--AN INDIGNANT ARTISAN 185
170.--ON THE ASPARAGUS BED 185
171.--THE CONDITION OF MY GRASS-PLOT 186
172.--AT THE FRONT GATE 186
173.--A VIEW OF THE RUINS 187
174.--WATCHING 188
175.--ONE OF THE ROBBERS 188
176.--MR. NIPPERS ENTERS 188
177.--I EXPOSTULATE WITH NIPPERS 189
178.--MRS. COOLEY'S SERVANT 190
179.--SHE SHAKES HENRY 190
180.--BOB AS AN AUTHOR 191
181.--YOUNG CHUBB 191
182.--MYSTERIOUS MUSIC 192
183.--"WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" 193
184.--TRYING TO MAKE HIM DISGORGE 193
185.--HENRY'S BROTHER TRIES PRESSURE 194
186.--EXIT WITH THE SEXTON 194
187.--THE TOMB OF CHUBB 195
188.--GENERAL CHUBB'S LEGS 196
189.--THE INFLUENCE OF ART 197
190.--THE GENERAL DIVES IN 197
191.--THROUGH THE CANVAS 197
192.--PILLORIED (_Initial Letter_) 200
193.--INFANT SPECTATORS 201
194.--THE WHIPPING-POST 201
195.--AN ANCIENT CUSTOM 202
196.--THAT REMARKABLE JUDGE 204
197.--GEORGE WASHINGTON BUSBY 205
198.--THE JURY 205
199.--MATERNAL LOVE 206
200.--MANHOOD'S TOIL 206
201.--BUSBY WHISPERS TO THE TIPSTAFF 207
202.--MORE HOPEFUL STILL 207
203.--HIS INFANT STEPS 208
204.--BUSBY'S HEART GROWS LIGHTER 209
205.--THE THUNDERBOLT FALLS 209
206.--LEADING HIM OUT 210
207.--WIELDING THE LASH (_Initial Letter_) 211
208.--HOB-NOBBING 212
209.--THE MAJOR IN A SULK 213
210.--THE LOVERS 215
211.--"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?" 217
212.--THE FLIGHT BY THE RIVER 219
213.--DICK CONFESSES 226
214.--WEARING THE WOODEN COLLAR 228
215.--A FLOGGING SEVENTY YEARS AGO (_Full Page_) 230
216.--PARDONED 233
217.--A BROKEN MAN 235
218.--THE MARKET GREEN AND THE OLD CHURCH 236
219.--A JUVENILE MUSICIAN (_Initial Letter_) 237
220.--CAUGHT 238
221.--CAN'T REACH IT 238
222.--CREEPING OUT 239
223.--BACK AGAIN IN A HURRY 239
224.--A MIGHTY UGLY SITUATION 240
225.--LISTENING 240
226.--PARKER EXULTS 241
227.--THE SECOND HORNPIPE 241
228.--HE SURVEYS HER DWELLING 241
229.--OLD SPARKS'S SACRED DUST 244
230.--A CONSCIENTIOUS TOMBSTONE 244
231.--BISHOP POTTS 246
232.--A WARM WELCOME 246
233.--A SURPRISE FOR THE BISHOP 247
234.--THE BRIDE GOES HOME IN A ROW 248
235.--POTTS MEDITATES 249
236.--WAVING FAREWELL 249
237.--THE BISHOP IS CONFOUNDED 250
238.--STARTING THE THIRD TIME 252
239.--POTTS BECOMES HYSTERICAL 253
240.--THE PERUVIAN MONK 253
241.--THE MANIAC DOCTOR 253
242.--BOB GIVES AN OPINION 254
243.--POTTS'S CHILD 254
244.--ON THE RAMPARTS (_Initial Letter_) 255
245.--THE SITE OF FORT KASIMIR (_Full Page_) 258
246.--MODERN WARRIORS 259
247.--A DUTCH GOBLIN 260
248.--PITMAN TELLS OF HIS GRIEFS 260
249.--A TROUBLESOME COW 261
250.--THAT SCANDALOUS BLIND-BOARD 261
251.--THE TEMPERANCE SOCIETY MAKES AN INSPECTION 262
252.--"I'LL KNOCK THE STUFFIN' OUT O' HIM" 262
253.--THE JUDGE'S BITTERS ADVERTISEMENTS 263
254.--HE TAKES A TONIC 263
255.--ANOTHER DOZEN 264
256.--COOLEY'S ILLUMINATED NOSE 265
257.--"OUT, BRIEF CANDLE" 266
258.--"THERE WAS MRS. COOLEY A-WATCHIN'" 266
259.--DR. HOPKINS IS AMAZED 267
260.--APPALLING INTELLIGENCE 268
261.--THE COMMODORE'S TOMB 269
262.--THE FALL OF SIMMS 270
263.--"KNOCK 'EM WITH A POLE" 270
264.--HIT BY AN APPLE 271
265.--TIM KEYSER'S NOSE 272
266.--"HE SLID AROUND SO QUICK" 272
267.--"HE CUT AN OPENING IN THE ICE" 273
268.--THE PICKEREL BITES 273
269.--"THE BETTER OF THE FIGHT" 274
270.--"AND PULLED TIM KEYSER THROUGH" 274
271.--UNDER WATER 275
272.--AN AWFUL SNEEZE 275
273.--HE FLOATS ASHORE 276
274.--"HE VERY ROUNDLY SWORE" 276
275.--AT DINNER 277
276.--A VERY WET TIME (_Initial Letter_) 278
277.--A DAMP FISHERMAN 279
278.--FORLORN 279
279.--THE COMIC UMBRELLA 280
280.--DELICATE WARRIORS 281
281.--THE EXPERIMENT OF COOMBS 281
282.--AN EMBARRASSED PANTHER 282
283.--BRINGING HOME THE MONSTER 282
284.--GETTING READY FOR ACTION 283
285.--THE MEDICINE MAN DIES 283
286.--COOLEY AWAITS THE SIMOOM 286
287.--THE JUDGE ENJOYS THE WEATHER 290
288.--PERFECTLY SATISFIED 291
289.--THE GENUINE WEATHER-GAUGE 292
290.--"A FRIEND OF MAN" (_Initial Letter_) 293
291.--THE IMPETUOSITY OF BOB 296
292.--A SOMNAMBULIST 297
293.--A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE 297
294.--DREAMING OF MAGRUDER 297
295.--UNDER THE BED 298
296.--BOB IS AMAZED 298
297.--HUNTING FOR HENRY 298
298.--THE MYSTERY UNRAVELED 299
299.--"PERFECTLY STILL" 300
300.--THE CONSEQUENCES OF A SNEEZE 301
301.--THE DOG LEAVES 301
302.--I SUDDENLY CLIMB THE FENCE 301
303.--SOLD 302
304.--"COMMERE TO ME" 302
305.--A VICTIM 303
306.--A HUMAN ECHO 304
307.--IT WON'T ANSWER 304
308.--AFTER THAT BOY 305
309.--A BALD-HEADED PARTY (_Initial Letter_) 306
310.--A DELUGE OF LETTERS 308
311.--MRS. SINGERLY'S POODLE 309
312.--THE RALLY OF THE BALDHEADED 309
313.--A MICROSCOPIC EXAMINATION 310
314.--BENJAMIN P. GUNN 313
315.--A VISIT TO MRS. KEMPER 315
316.--GUNN WAITS WITH THE DOCTOR 317
317.--POUNDING ON THE PARTITION 317
318.--UP THE STEEPLE 318
319.--INTO THE CRATER 318
320.--BENJAMIN IS EJECTED 319
321.--PORTRAIT OF GUNN 319
322.--ON THE WAR PATH 323
323.--GENERAL GAGE AND THE BOY (_Initial Letter_) 324
324.--THE JUDGE IS PUZZLED 329
325.--CATECHIZING HIM 329
326.--THE DOCTORS AT HILLEGASS'S HOUSE 330
327.--HILLEGASS RECOVERS 331
328.--THE JOKE ON THE CHIEF 332
329.--A DELUGE 332
330.--THE COMBAT ON THE STAIRS 333
331.--A FIREMAN 333
332.--THE BONE CONTROVERSY (_Initial Letter_) 334
333.--EXAMINING THE PREMISES 335
334.--WE PROCEED CAREFULLY 336
335.--AN EXPLOSION AT COOLEY'S 339
336.--THE REMAINS SCATTER 340
337.--"FOOLING WITH A GUN" 341
338.--SELFRIDGE ARGUES WITH SMITH 342
339.--THE RIVAL JURIES 343
340.--COOLEY TURNS UP 344
341.--"TOSSED THE LITTLE BABY" 348
342.--THAT MUMMY 349
343.--A PATENT-OFFICE REPORT (_Initial Letter_) 350
344.--PUB. DOCS 351
345.--ALPHONSO LIES IN WAIT 353
346.--LUCULLUS, THE SERENADER 353
347.--DEATH OF ALPHONSO 354
348.--LUCULLUS BREAKS JAIL 354
349.--SMITH BOMBARDS THE ARTISTS 355
350.--THE LOVERS FLOAT ASHORE 356
351.--A PARTING SCENE 357
352.--SMILEY IS INTOXICATED 358
353.--"HE LEAPED INTO THE SEA" 360
354.--BOB IS RESCUED 361
355.--NURSING THE INVALID 362
356.--TAIL-PIECE 362
357.--BEFORE THE MASS MEETING (_Initial Letter_) 363
358.--THE SERENADERS AT PITMAN'S 365
359.--COOLEY ARGUES WITH DANIEL WEBSTER 366
360.--THE DISCOMFITED DRUMMER 367
361.--THE KICKAPOO'S MISTAKE 369
362.--A PATRIOTIC DUTCHMAN 370
363.--COLLAPSED 370
364.--COMMODORE SCUDDER'S DOG 371
365.--THE COMMITTEE WELCOMES ME 373
366.--THE COLD-EYED DRUMMER 375
367.--"GO, MARK HIM WELL" 376
368.--MR. HOTCHKISS'S JOKE 379
369.--THE DRUMMER GLARES AT ME 381
370.--I RETREAT IN DESPAIR 386
371.--A SOLEMN VOW 386
372.--THE WAITER (_Initial Letter_) 387
373.--THE COLLARS IN HIS TRUNK 389
374.--A SHIRT-BUTTON LOST 390
375.--WAITING FOR THE BRIDE 390
376.--AT THE RECEPTION 392
377.--PITMAN EXPRESSES HIS VIEWS 394
378.--"WE FLUNG A SHOE AFTER THEM" 394
379.--THE FINAL BOW 398

OUT OF THE HURLY-BURLY.