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Chapter IV

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It was in the period of the fourth moon that Kimiko was carried away to the home prepared for her--a place in which to forget all the unpleasant realities of life--a sort of fairy-palace lost in the charmed repose of great shadowy silent high-walled gardens. Therein she might have felt as one reborn, by reason of good deeds, into the realm of Horai. But the spring passed, and the summer came--and Kimiko remained simply Kimiko. Three times she had contrived, for reasons unspoken, to put off the wedding-day.

In the period of the eighth moon, Kimiko ceased to be playful, and told her reasons very gently but very firmly: "It is time that I should say what I have long delayed saying. For the sake of the mother who gave me life, and for the sake of my little sister, I have lived in hell. All that is past; but the scorch of the fire is upon me, and there is no power that can take it away. It is not for such as I to enter into an honored family--nor to bear you a son--nor to build up your house.... Suffer me to speak; for in the knowing of wrong I am very, very much wiser than you.... Never shall I be your wife to become your shame. I am your companion only, your play-fellow, your guest of an hour--and this not for any gifts. When I shall be no longer with you--nay! certainly that day must come!--you will have clearer sight. I shall still be dear to you, but not in the same way as now--which is foolishness. You will remember these words out of my heart. Some true sweet lady will be chosen for you, to become the mother of your children. I shall see them; but the place of a wife I shall never take, and the joy of a mother I must never know. I am only your folly, my beloved--an illusion, a dream, a shadow flitting across your life. Somewhat more in later time I may become, but a wife to you never--neither in this existence nor in the next. Ask me again--and I go."

In the period of the tenth moon, and without any reason imaginable, Kimiko disappeared--vanished--utterly ceased to exist.

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Kimiko, and Other Japanese SketchesChapter IV

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