Chapter VI

II.—WITH THE BOLSHEVIKS IN BERLIN III.—AFTERNOON TEA WITH THE SULTAN IV.—ECHOES OF THE WAR 1.—The Boy Who Came Back 2.—The War Sacrifices of Mr. Spugg 3.—If Germany Had Won 4.—War and Peace at the Galaxy Club 5.—The War News as I Remember it I—THE CABLE NEWS FROM RUSSIA II—SAMPLE OF SPECIAL CORRESPONDENCE III—THE TECHNICAL WAR DESPATCHES IV—THE WAR PROPHECIES V—DIPLOMATIC REVELATIONS VI—A NEW GERMAN PEACE FORMULA VII—THE FINANCIAL NEWS 6.—Some Just Complaints About the War 7.—Some Startling Side Effects of the War

V.—OTHER IMPOSSIBILITIES 1.—The Art of Conversation Introduction to H.E. the Viceroy of India, K.C.B., II—HOW TO OPEN A CONVERSATION 2.—Heroes and Heroines 3.—The Discovery of America; 4.—Politics from Within 5.—The Lost Illusions of Mr. Sims 6.—Fetching the Doctor: From Recollections of Childhood in the Canadian Countryside

LITERARY LAPSES By Stephen Leacock

CONTENTS LITERARY LAPSES My Financial Career Lord Oxhead's Secret Boarding-House Geometry The Awful Fate of Melpomenus Jones A Christmas Letter How to Make a Million Dollars How to Live to be 200 How to Avoid Getting Married How to be a Doctor The New Food A New Pathology The Poet Answered The Force of Statistics Men Who have Shaved Me Getting the Thread of It Telling His Faults Winter Pastimes Number Fifty-Six Aristocratic Education The Conjurer's Revenge Hints to Travellers A Manual of Education Hoodoo McFiggin's Christmas The Life of John Smith On Collecting Things Society Chat-Chat Insurance up to Date Borrowing a Match A Lesson in Fiction Helping the Armenians A Study in Still Life.—The Country Hotel An Experiment With Policeman Hogan The Passing of the Poet Self-made Men A Model Dialogue Back to the Bush Reflections on Riding Saloonio Half-hours with the Poets