Chapter II: Part 2

Charley (Lieut. Guild)

Graham (Miss MacBean)

Torrens (Major Lysons)

Mrs. Delamaine (Miss C. Watson)

Emma (Miss J. Hutchison)

THE SERIOUS FAMILY

Vincent (Capt. Wallace)

Aminadab Sleek (Capt. Morrison)

Lady Creamly (Miss A. Watson)

Danvers (Lieut. Guild)

Mrs. Torrens (Miss Guild)

Captain Murphy Maguire (Capt. MacDowall)]

DRAMATIC AMATEURS OF THE 1ST L.R.V.

THE Dramatic Critic of _Quiz_ speaks in the highest praise of this performance, given in the Queen’s Rooms in March 1886, and as he must have seen the piece played many times he is qualified to speak, but so far as I am aware none of the players was on that account tempted to go on the professional boards.

An event of the same evening is also here portrayed, the Ball of the Queen’s Own Yeomanry. That is Colonel Neilson in the corner proposing “The Queen.”

Moss (Mr. McWhinnie)

Maltby (Mr. Brewer)

Mrs. Willoughby (Mrs. King)

Dalton (Mr. Muirhead)

Gibson (Mr. Gray)

Hawkshaw (Mr. Cumming)

Emily St. Evremond (Miss Ella Baynham)

Bob Brierly (Mr. Forrest Niven)

May Edwards (Miss Amy Baynham)

Sam Willoughby (Mr. Harcourt Beatty)

THE TICKET-of-LEAVE MAN

“The Queen”

QUEEN’S OWN YEOMANRY-CLUB BALL]

DRAMATIC AMATEURS OF THE 1ST L.R.V. AGAIN

_GUY MANNERING_, given in the Theatre Royal in December 1887, brought out some of the performers we had seen in the _Ticket-of-Leave-Man_. The professional assistance was supplied by Miss Julia Seaman, who played “Meg Merrilies.”

Mrs. McCandlish (Mrs. C. King)

Bailie Mucklethrift (Mr. McWhinnie)

Jock Jabos (Mr. Allison)

Guy Mannering (Lieut. Melliss)

Glossin (Mr. Foulds)

McGuffog (Mr. Brewer)

Julia (Miss Martha Wilson)

Henry Bertram (Mr. Dunsmore)

Dominie Sampson (Mr. George Muirhead)

Flora (Miss Effie McDonald)

Lucy Bertram (Miss F. Baynham)

Meg Merrilies (Miss Julia Seaman)

Sebastian (Mr. Cooke)

Gabriel (Mr. Macgillivray)

Dandie Dinmont (Mr. W. B. Johnston)

Dirk Hatteraick (Mr. Forrest Niven)]

THE PHILOMEL CLUB

THIS club gave an excellent rendering of _Dorothy_ at the Queen’s Rooms in April 1888, almost entirely free from any amateur weakness, and noteworthy for the performance of the young ladies, “Dorothy,” Miss Eugenie Smyth, and “Lydia,” Miss Broadfoot, but especially for the capital acting of Mr. J. W. Watson as “Lurcher.” Besides the names appended to the sketches, the following are mentioned in the _Town Tattle_ of the day: Stage manager, Mr. Baynham; at the piano, Miss Helena Donald; at the harmonium, Mr. Rowland Wood; first violin, Mr. W. H. Cole; and designer of the programme, Mr. Duncan Mackellar.

Squire Bantam Mr. W. Broadfoot

Tom Strutt (Mr. H. Dyce Paterson)

Phyllis (Miss Dubs)

Tuppitt (Mr. W. R. Buchanan)

Harry (Mr. J. Carrick Jr.)

Geoffrey (Mr. W. H. Dunsmore)

Lady Betty (Miss J. E. Chrystal)

Mrs. Privett (Mrs. D. Smyth)

Lydia (Miss Broadfoot)

Lurcher (Mr. J. W. Watson)

Dorothy (Miss Eugenie Smyth)

Mr. Duncan Smyth, Conductor.]

A VOLUNTEER BAZAAR

THE 3rd L.R.V. and their lady friends had three days of amateur shop-keeping with surroundings of a Chinese character in St. Andrews Halls, October 1884. The dresses of the ladies looked smart, some military, some naval and some Swiss or otherwise equally effective national costume. The object of the bazaar was, if I remember rightly, a Drill Hall, and it was entirely successful.

Lots Drawn

Drawing Lots

A Gallery Gossip

Strange that you should turn savagely on your fellow-man--and the
moment after succumb to the blandishments of the other sex]

A GATHERING OF THE 1ST L.R.V.

THIS must have been a heavy evening’s work, in St. Andrews Halls, December 1884. First of all there was a prize distribution by Colonel Gildea, then a concert by the Regimental Glee Club, under Captain McNabb, then an inspection of the prizes in the Berkeley Hall, followed by a dance till the small hours. Plenteous refreshment no doubt came in somewhere to sustain us through it all, but I find no note of it anywhere.

Musical

Col. Smith

Col. Forrester’s laurel joke

Down

up

Major Reid

Col. Gildea medalling an Officer

Regulars

Buffeting

Waltz Music]

WEST OF SCOTLAND RIFLE ASSOCIATION

COWGLEN, in June 1885, saw the twenty-fourth meeting of this Association. On a Saturday afternoon the shooting for the Inter-County Match took place, Renfrew being successful. Among the personages on the opposite page I notice Colonel Merry, Captain Stout, Secretary of the W.S.R.A., Captain MacDowall and Mr. J. A. Aitken.

AMMUNITION ISSUED HERE

SECRETARY’S TENT]

A BOYS’ BRIGADE INSPECTION

THE Parade Ground was Burnbank, the day the spring holiday of 1886, rather more than two years after the formation of the first company of the Boys’ Brigade, which, as everybody knows, owes its origin to Captain W. A. Smith of the 1st L.R.V. Its admirable organisation making it at once successful in Glasgow, led to the formation of companies all over Great Britain and Ireland and in the Britains beyond the seas. This was probably the earliest Battalion Parade. The Inspecting Officer was Colonel J. Newbigging Smith of the 1st L.R.V., in which regiment the Brigade President, Mr. J. Carfrae Alston, was at one time an officer.

The Church Parade took place in the Queen’s Rooms, where the boys were addressed by the Rev. Dr. Marcus Dods, the most stimulating preacher that could possibly have been chosen to arouse the interest of the youngsters.

The Sergeants’ Mess

Music

The Brigade Secretary Mr. W. A. Smith

The March past

The Inspecting Officer Lt. Col. J. Newbigging Smith

The Brigade President Mr. J. Carfrae Alston

“Mind ye they’re a’ juist as prood as if they wis rael sodjers!”

“If it wisna that I’ve ett a’ the rations in ma heverseck I wad gie ye
baith some.]

A REGIMENTAL SOIRÉE

THIS is the 4th V.B.S.R., on the 30th of November, 1888, with their families and friends, presided over by the Colonel, enjoying tea, fruit, music, speeches, and presentation of prizes.

Cupid and Psyche

Returned Empties

Vocalists

Some of the Upper Circles

Lady King presenting Prizes

A Service of Fruit

Colonel Mein

A Cup o’ Kindness

An Efficient

The Progress of Events

A Family Affair]

ON BOARD THE _DRAKE_

H.M.S. _Drake_ lay between the Suspension Bridge and Broomielaw Bridge. She had once been of more imposing appearance, but her days of usefulness were not yet over, for she served as the home of the local detachment of the Royal Naval Artillery Volunteers, who are here represented at gun-drill.

The R.N.A.V. flamed with enthusiasm for some years and were then supposed to be extinguished, but not long ago the extinguisher has been lifted, and the Naval Volunteer spark is found to be unquenched.

H.M.S. Drake

“Fire!”

The Instructor

The Projectile

“Lie Down”]

WEST OF SCOTLAND SPORTS

IT used to be the correct thing, and I daresay it is so still, for every self-respecting young man and maiden of the West-end to go to Hamilton Crescent Grounds for this spring meeting. The less interested the young man and maiden were in the sports, the better they were pleased, and if they hadn’t a real lack of interest they assumed it. There must have been a few unaffected enthusiasts who stood round the ropes and watched the events eagerly, from the jumping competitions to the obstacle race and the tug-of-war. I cannot claim to have been one of these, and it may be observed that in this sketch the sports are got over in a disgracefully slipshod fashion, while the pencil has been busy with characteristic individuals in the general crowd of easy-going promenaders.

FOOTBALL

NOW here you find spectators who are enthusiastic watchers of the game, genuinely interested in every kick and dribble, breathless when the ball is making for the goal, gasping when it misses, and hysterical when it passes through--moved either to great grief or great joy, according to the party spirit that animates the watcher. This particular game was the Charity Cup-Tie, Queen’s Park _v._ 3rd L.R.V., played at Cathkin Park, 26th of April, 1884.

A Reporter

Faces in the Crowd

PARTY SPIRIT No. 1--A Goal for the Third

“Neilly”

PARTY SPIRIT No. 2--A Goal for the Queens Park]

HIGHLAND SPORTS

THESE were at Burnbank on 13th of September, 1884. They are of a highly national character, with kilts and sporrans and pipes and a real interest in the feats of strength and skill displayed.

The sketches seem to make an attempt to deal with the nominal purpose of the meeting, and the spectators depicted are not inattentive.

Cameronian Pipers

Field Gunners

Tilters at the Ring and Lemon Cutters

Wrestlers on Horseback

Single Stickers

Tuggers of War

Pipers and Dancers

Tossers

Throwers

Putters]

CRICKET

THE match was between the Marylebone and the West of Scotland Clubs in July 1885.

There are few things from which I would sooner stay away than from a cricket match. I don’t know anything of the game, but I turn to the paragraph in _Quiz_ dealing with this match and can therefore say that the West made a good stand against the Marylebone, and did better than most people expected; also that the match ended in a draw, the Scotch team wanting 160 runs with seven wickets to fall.

Labour

Leisure

Lunch

Professionals]

WESTERN BATHS

THIS was not an inauguration, only a re-opening (1886). A chill October evening outside; lots of people crowded on the banks of the pond and in the galleries above making it a warm evening within; plenty of fun in watching the expert swimmers, good music conducted by Mr. Cole, and a little dance to follow.

On High.

Natation

Music

Reception]

WELLCROFT BOWLING-GREEN

TO those who are arrived at that time of life when violent athletics become a burden, bowling affords a mild and agreeable substitute that may be taken easily or arduously according to the disposition of the individual. It is a pleasing game to watch--the careful aim, the knowing twist given the ball at the outset of its career, the eager player following it with his eyes or with his whole running body till the journey is accomplished, and the look of dismay or exultation inspired by the degree of success attained.

The unaccustomed bowler has a tendency to tear up the green, and nothing causes a real bowler to frown more than this treatment of his beloved turf. It ranks as an unpardonable sin with cutting the cloth of a billiard-table.

Ladies’ Representatives

Enthusiasm

Suspense

Anxiety

Measurement

The Bowler’s Progress

A Treasurer

A Veteran Secretary

A President]

POLICE SPORTS

THE annual meeting in May 1890, with Chief Constable Boyd, Superintendent Andrew and other dignitaries watching one of the most exciting events of the day resulting in a victory for the Glasgow team.

Glasgow

Govan

Glasgow Victorious

The Chief

Judges]

FRIENDLY SOCIETIES’ DEMONSTRATION

THIS was in July 1887. There must be a rapture in demonstrating, especially if the day be fine, and there must be something abundantly satisfying in wearing the distinctive toggery of one’s order. As for the banner-bearers, theirs is a quite fearful joy. I have never ascertained--indeed I have never asked--whether a brother is made a banner-bearer for reasons complimentary or punitive.

The Meet in Blythswood Square

Martial Music

The Gentle Breeze

Through the City

The Grand Marshal

“I wish that bawnd-man wid come. I’m seeck o’ this Trumpet”

“Man, ye should jine the Foresters. That bonnet an’ things maks a body
awfu’ common-lukkin’!”

“Me an’ Paw’s Shippards but Uncle Jim’s is juist a Rechabite!”]

A PATRIOTIC DINNER

ST. ANDREW’S Day 1884, falling on a Sunday, the Glasgow St. Andrew’s Society dined on December 1st. The gathering in McLean’s Hotel was presided over by Colonel Malcolm of Poltalloch, then an ex-M.P., afterwards for six years member for Argyllshire, and later raised to the peerage.

Sheriff Clark’s speech was distinguished by some old Glasgow reminiscences, and I remember that Dr. Burns of the Cathedral referred to St. Mungo as “my predecessor.” Bailie Salmond, who figured there as a croupier, and who had the reputation along with Sir Daniel Macnee of being one of the best after-dinner story-tellers, was probably the Senior of the feast.

Fortifying

The Secretary quoting from the “unavoidably absent”

As seen in the mirror behind

The Navy (Captain Adeane)

The Army (Col. Turner)

Sheriff Clark

Colonel Malcolm of Poltalloch Chairman

The Deputy Speaker of the Local Parliament

The Reserve Forces

Dr. Burns

Croupier Mr. Wm. Campbell

The Clergy (Mr. Munro)

Croupier Bailie Salmond]

A COUNTY ASSOCIATION SOIRÉE

THIS form of entertainment may be still as much in vogue as it used to be in unfashionable circles of Glasgow. These meetings were productive of a good deal of genuine happiness, the tea and the cookies and the service of fruit and the speeches and the songs--especially the “comics”--and the assembly that followed, making up an evening’s festivity that was not forgotten by the time the annual repetition of the event came round again.

The festival here pictured, that of the Caithness Association, was of rather more than usual importance, being a Jubilee celebration. It was presided over by Mr. W. C. Coghill, and among the speakers was Mr. John Rae, at that time editor of the _Contemporary Review._

Juvenile Music

The Concert Department

The much appreciated Comic

7 o’clock prompt

The Chairman and his Supporters

Fruit in pokes

The M.C.

The Grand March. Who is the Belle?]

A COUNTY SOCIETY DINNER

MORE circumscribed in its immediate sphere of influence than the all-embracing soirée just referred to, the dinner has a dignity and importance that demand recognition.

The Glasgow Ayrshire Society was founded only two years after the birth of Robert Burns, so its primary object was not to keep his memory green, but appropriately enough the men of Ayrshire in Glasgow choose his birthday for their feast. The dinner of 1890 was held in St. Enoch’s Hotel, under the presidency of Mr. J. G. A. Baird, M.P., and the “Immortal Memory” was proposed by Mr. William Jolly.

Major Cassels

Mr. Jas. Boyd

Mr. Ritchie

Mr. Ramsay

The Treasurer

Rev McDuff

Mr. Jas. Tullis

The Secretary

Mr. J. O. Mitchell

The Croupiers

Mr. Johnston

Mr. Rowan

Bailie McLennan

Mr. J. G. A. Baird M.P. Chairman

Mr. Peter Sturrock

Mr. Wm. Jolly

Professor Gairdner

Sir Chas. Dalrymple

The Lord Provost

“Golden Chains are heavy”

Sheriff Hall

Hon Thos. Cochrane]

AN ENGINEER’S ANNIVERSARY

UNTIL the year 1888 the celebration of James Watt’s birthday on the 21st of January seems to have been the sole reason of existence for the Association of Foreman Engineers, but on the occasion here recorded the Institution of Engineers and Shipbuilders in Scotland and the Philosophical Society of Glasgow joined and resolved to combine in keeping the future anniversaries so that the Association of Foreman Engineers dropped out of existence.

The dinner took place in the Grand Hotel with Mr. Kirk of Napier’s in the chair. There was a large company, and among the unnamed heads in the corner of the sketch may be recognised some familiar in the engineering world, that of Mr. James Caldwell and Mr. John Hamilton, for instance, while in the other corner, among the “Press,” I may point out Mr. James Nicol Dunn--then on the Glasgow staff of the _Scotsman_--referred to in an introductory page.

The Press

The Board of Trade

Mr. S. G. G. Copestake

Principal Jamieson

Capt Blair

Professor James Thomson

Mr. George Graham

Mr. W. J. Millar

Dr. W. G. Blackie

Mr. Dundas

Provost Shankland

Mr. Geo. Russell

Mr. Matthew Holmes

THE CROUPIERS

Mr. John Turnbull Junr.

Bailie Gray

THE CHAIRMAN Mr. A. C. Kirk

Dr. J. B. Russell

Mr. Robert Duncan

Mr. T. B. Seath]

AN INDUSTRIAL EXHIBITION

HELD in Burnbank Drill Hall in the end of the year 1886, this was one of the shows of the variety sale-shop order, the place to spend a happy evening and as many coins as you could spare besides. The collection was formally opened by Sir James King, and the first week’s proceeds were handed over to the City hospitals.

PATERSON’S

MAKES
CHILDREN
THRIVE

DUNMORE

The Boosers Friend or Patent Corkscrew

The Spirit of Pottery

Macnab’s lens enchantment to the View

Cigarettes for Whiffer likes

The Minstrel Boy

Bangles

...AZE WORKS ...S PARIS

Bijouterie de Paris

Jack Frost at work

Hembroidery

Sweets

THIS IS
COXWAIN TERRY
HERO OF THE CHANNEL
WITH HIS
TRICYCLE BOAT

AMPHIBIOUS

On Terry Firma]

THE ATHENÆUM HOUSE-WARMING

REMOVED from its old quarters in Ingram Street, the Athenæum opened its new premises in St. George’s Place on the 25th of January, 1888. On that evening the learned and patriotic Marquess of Bute delivered an able address on Scottish History to a large audience, and among the shorter speeches was one by Sheriff Spens on his favourite literary subject--Tennyson.

Sheriff Spens

A Corner of the Library

Rev. W. W. Tulloch

Mr. Lauder

Mr. Provan

Sir Wm. Thomson

Dr. James A. Campbell M.P.

Her Ladyship

The Marquis of Bute]

THE ELDER PARK, GOVAN

THE Earl of Rosebery was the humble instrument in the hands of Mrs. John Elder in delivering over the Park to the people of Govan. This is only one of several munificent gifts made by Mrs. Elder--who is now LL.D. of Glasgow University--to Govan and to Glasgow. It was a great day for Govan, the 27th of June, 1885, and you can imagine the excitement of that Saturday afternoon.

It was here I overheard the remark illustrated on a later page of this book under the title “What it is to be a Lord.”

Sir Archd. Campbell proposeth Thanks

Sir E. Colebrooke maketh Remarks

Mr. Wm. Pearce also proposeth Thanks

Dr. John Macleod openeth Proceedings

Provost Campbell becometh excited

Mrs. Elder delivereth over the Keys

The Earl of Rosebery presenteth the Park

The Town Clerk readeth an address]

EAST END EXHIBITION

THE object of this exhibition, in the end of 1890, was to provide funds for the establishment of a People’s Palace in Glasgow. It was opened by the Marquess of Lothian, Secretary for Scotland, but the sketches herewith have to do with an earlier and more exclusive occurrence ere the exhibition was ready for the public eye. This was a private Press view, to which you can see the _Bailie’s_ commissioner on his way. There was naturally a luncheon with some speeches, in one of the galleries devoted to the Fine Arts. Mr. David Fortune, Chairman of the Executive, did the honours. Pressmen are modest and like to remain anonymous, but here the veil is lifted, revealing Mr. W. M. Gilbert of the _Scotsman_, Mr. Thomas Reid of the _Glasgow Herald_, and Mr. Andrew Mudie of the _Evening Citizen_.

Last Saturday Our Special Commissioner started to visit the East-End
Exhibition

He traversed long avenues of Wood

And found a confused mass of joiners, disjoiners and packing cases

In the Art Gallery he found peace and plenty

with some oratory:--

Dr. Mather proposing “The Press”

Mr. Gilbert

Mr. Reid

and Mr. Mudie replying

Mr. Downie proposing “The Hanging Committee”

Mr. A. K. Brown and Mr. A. Roche replying

Rev T. Somerville proposing The Executive

Mr. Fortune replying

Mr. Brechin replying]

A LAUNCH FROM NAPIER’S YARD

LORD CHARLES BERESFORD was there to see the belted cruiser, H.M.S. _Galatea_, leave the stocks amid showers of sleet in March 1887. The young lady who applied the hammer to release the ship was Miss May Kirk, daughter of one of the partners of Napier’s. The sketch shows Mr. John Hamilton, another partner, standing by her side, and afterwards presiding at the lunch, at which Lord Charles, as might have been expected, made a rattling good speech.

Outside

The Service

Miss May Kirk breaking the bonds

Lord Charles Beresford

A “Cumberland” Boy

After Lunch]

THE CHANNEL FLEET

THE _Minotaur_ was the flag-ship of the Fleet lying off Greenock in the end of September 1885. She was boarded by two friends and myself from the yacht of one of those friends on the day before the ships were open to the public. I don’t know how we came to have the privilege of entry. Other people equally favoured were Mr. John Burns (afterwards Lord Inverclyde) and his party, also the Provost of Greenock and his party. Our party felt pretty big, I assure you, but there was room enough for us all.

THE MINOTAUR

Coaling

The “Flying Fox” with the Greenock Provost etc.

Signalling

’Tween Decks

Admiral Fellowes

Visitors from Castle Wemyss]

AN OCEAN LINER

THIS commemorates a voyage on the _State of Nevada_, in September 1883, all the way from the Broomielaw to Greenock. The vessel conveyed one of those batches of emigrants from eastern Europe, aliens whose goal of apparent happiness lies far beyond the confines of our little islands over which they pass on their way to the west. Pathetic groups they are, not always seeming sad, but hopeful, looking for something beyond the sea. I have never been fortunate enough to see them in the realisation of their hopes, but I remember seeing a group of them in one of the western States--not quite so far west as that after which this vessel was named--sitting waiting for a train to take them farther west, still pathetic, still hopeful, still looking for something beyond.

Emigrants Waiting

Embarking

“Farewell”

The Captain and the River Pilot

The Doctor and the Fair Intermediate

Saloon Passengers

The Stewardess

The Saloon Songster

Inspecting Steerage Passengers

Mustering the Crew

“To the West”]

THE COASTING SEASON

TO the reflective mind it must always seem a wonderful thing that the Clyde, when it was choosing its channel, elected to run through Glasgow. If it had turned aside, say at Hamilton, and run away down to the sea by Kilmarnock and Ayr it would have been most awkward for Glasgow, especially in summer time, but fortunately for the steamboat companies the city had attractions which the river could not resist.

Owing chiefly to the fine weather that has fallen to our lot, the
Passenger traffic to the Coast has already begun to assume

Considerable dimensions

Many families having entered upon the enjoyments of Holidaying at the
Seaside, Whilst the Crowded Steamers testify that townspeople are
eager to take advantage of the daily excursions

down the Clyde]

HOW TO GO TO THE COAST

YOUR house-taking having been arranged, the first duty is (1) with the assistance of your family to do the packing. Next morning (2) you drive to the Broomielaw, where (3) you put your family on board a steamer, and (4) go to your office for an hour, leaving instructions with your chief clerk for the proper conduct of business in your absence. Then (5) you take train to Greenock, and (6) join your family, who are not much inconvenienced by the rain which has been pouring for an hour and a half. After some considerable time, you (7) arrive at a pier where you are put ashore with your belongings. In a light vehicle (8) you travel over several miles of rather broken road, while your few odds and ends (9) follow in a cart. At length (10) your secluded retreat appears in view, and ere long (11) you are cheered by the warm welcome of your landlady.

That is how we did it in our young days years and years ago.

IN ARRAN

WE natives of the Clyde are devoted to Arran. It has a charm for us found nowhere else in the world, especially for us old fogies who remember the island in its more primitive state when Gaelic was universally spoken and the English was delivered in the most delicious Hieland accent, or when, joy of joys! some one was found who hadn’t a word of English at all. This page, gleaned about Corrie in 1884, was titled in _Quiz_ “The ’Ills of Arran.” Well, we cheerfully put up with these, with the “h” or without. When we were children nothing mattered.

Cast Adrift

Watching the New Arrivals

The Cats’ Steeple-Chase

“Methinks I scent the morning Air”

A Chimney Can

The Luxury of Dressing

The Parson’s Paradise

Interviewing a Native

The great Advantage of Driving in Arran is that it affords numberless
opportunities for Pedestrian Exercise.

A Wayside Letter Box

Of course the papers are to be had every day,

but sometimes it is a little dull.]

AGAIN IN ARRAN

THIS time our sketches are in the vicinity of King’s Cross and Whiting Bay, though a touch of Brodick is observable. It is, I think, the _Brodick Castle_ that is discharging its passengers.

Delivery of Males

Bay things

POST OFFICE GROCERIES

A Branch Post Office

Accommodation for all classes

On Goatfell The Top still distant

Setting out for a stroll

Returning

On Brodick Pier]

SEASIDE BITS

IT must be confessed that if these are Glasgow people--and who is bold enough to say they are not?--it is not on the shores of their native Clyde that they disport themselves. These are the sands of the Forth and that is the pier at Elie which the steamer is approaching. But, observe, these must be Glasgow children who are making a castle in the sand. The real east-coasters dig a hole to sit in, instead of piling a mound to be washed away by the tide.

Students of Natural History

Dry Details

The Bath Voluntary

The Bath Compulsory

Marine Architecture

A Drain on the Ocean

An Appropriated Claim

Horse Exercise

On the peer

Home with the Spoil

The Reverend and Bashful Mr. Cassock on the way to his Forenoon Dip
encounters the Modest Misses Meagre returning]

A YACHTING CRUISE

IT was on board Mr. James Morrison’s twenty-tonner _Sayonara_, and we ran from Rothesay Bay to Lamlash in a brisk sou’-west breeze. I have a painful recollection of being the original of the sketch marked “Grief,” but I felt much better when we got under the shelter of the Holy Island. Next day when it was blowing more than a quarter of a gale--to put it mildly--we ran a race, were drenched to the skin, even to the skin of our teeth by which we seemed to hold on, but we enjoyed ourselves and anchored in the Kyles of Bute for the night.

A Sou’West Breeze

Looking Out for Squalls

The Yachtsman’s Chief Delight

Leisure

Activity

Grief

Study

Enquiry

CHALKERS EXTRA TOAST BISCUITS

Nightcaps

Repose]

CORINTHIAN YACHTING

THIS was the opening cruise of the Corinthian Yacht Club for 1885. It was not a very extensive cruise, starting as it did from Hunter’s Quay and coming to anchor at Roseneath. Mr. J. M. Tulloch, rear-commodore of the Club, was flag-officer of the day on board his schooner _Helen_. It need scarcely be explained that the group in the right-hand corner has no immediate connection with the Corinthians. It seems more akin to the Galatians.

The “Cumberland”

Non-Corinthians

Corinthians lying off Hunter’s Quay

“Carina”

WITH CORINTHIAN YACHTSMEN

The “Dolphin”

Off Gourock

On the “Helen” The Rear Commodore

The Hat-Changers]

ANOTHER YACHTING EXPERIENCE

THESE sketches tell their own sad sale. It was in Fairlie Roads that the yacht lay--I forget the name of it--and Millport Regatta was to take place on the following day. Why should men make merry over sea-sickness? Let us not dwell on the subject.

From the Railway the sea looks very uninviting

and does not improve on closer inspection

Getting out

Getting in

“I hope the wind keeps like this for the race tomorrow!”

A “companion” in misfortune

Hopeless Melancholy

A comforter

“I told you it wasn’t good enough!”

Night--“To sleep, but not to rest”

Morning--Once more on dry(!) land]

THE _COLUMBA_

YES, after all, for the ordinary person, the best day’s enjoyment to be had on the Clyde is on board the _Columba_. That is how it used to strike us long ago, and I don’t think we can be considered to have been so very far wrong.

Clearing up after rain

Seeing us off

Going ashore at Rothesay

My lady and her Maid

One Man’s Seat another Man’s poised on

Self-Examination

Responsibility

For the Girls

Where the Money Goes

Suspicious

My Grandfather’s pipe

Probably a Honeymoon]

FAIR DEALING

THE _Fair_ being, of course, Glasgow Fair, with its few days of freedom from the clatter of machinery and from city smoke. Even those who can’t go to the country or the coast may find things fresher than usual as a result of the temporarily lessened population, and for those stay-at-homes who like a sea-going sensation there’s always the Waterloo-fly at the “shows.”

Coast Lodgings all full. A Whin-bush and a Royal Drooko form an
agreeable shelter for the night

“Maw, maw! Help Me!! A parten’s gruppet ma tae!!!”

At Camlachie the Waterloo Fly is in great demand

but

there is such a thing as having too much of it

When visiting the policies of a bloated Aristocrat, it is always
pleasing to bring away some specimens of foliage

“Oh, Alexawnder, ma man, Come oot o’ the Sea. Ye’ll get yer feet a’
wat!”

“Hey Sojer! ’List me. I’ve spent every maik at the shows and I’m feart
tae gang hame”]

SOME FELLOW-TRAVELLERS

THESE can explain themselves, as fellow-travellers sometimes insist on doing, whether we wish them to or not.

The Invalid and his Anxious Wife

The Professor takes the opportunity of running over some Exam-papers

THE BEAUTY of TEMPERANCE

His Favourite Study

The Missing Pasteboard

A Duke? No, a traveller in Pickles

The Lady who is afraid of Draughts

She who rather enjoys a breeze

In the Wrong Train The Right Station just passing

Pointing out some scenes of his youth

May I ask if you object to smoking?

Politics]

TRAMS EAST AND WEST

MORE fellow-travellers, as found on the old-fashioned tramway-cars between Kelvinside and Parkhead.

Young East

TO PARKHEAD

TO KELVINSIDE

Young West

A little Marketing

Guardians of the Young

Susceptible to Cold

An East-end Exception

A West end Exception]

THE FLITTING TERM

TWO events leading up to the time in the merry month of May when householders make a change of abode; also one incident in the life of two maidens.

HOUSES TO LET

THE HARDENED OCCUPIER

--“Bit the hoose is no tae let; the Mistress jist has oot the board
tae fricht the Factor”

THE UNSOPHISTICATED HUNTER

--“_You_ ask, Jack dearest”

--“No, Darling it’s _your_ duty, you know”

--“Do now, Jack”

--“Come now, Nellie”

&c. &c.

--“She neednae be that upsettin’ wi’ ’er porters an ’er big kist. I
mind fine when a’ _she_ had tae cairry wad ha’e gane in a
pocket-napyin!”]

A DOMESTIC EXPERIENCE

QUITE a common one in the ’eighties and ’nineties, and by no means rare in the beginning of the twentieth century.

Mrs. West End Parker advertised for a “General, experienced,
middle-aged accustomed to large Family” There were no applicants. But
after her next advt. “Lady-help, cultured, prepossessing--cheerful
disposition--about 20.” Mrs. W. E. P. was occupied from morning till
night considering replies in person]

A COMMERCIAL TRANSACTION

We have now reached the point where the characters in the sketches, having words of their own to say, do not require the aid of the annotator.

THE OFFER

THE REFUSAL.

THE COMPROMISE.

AFTER SETTLEMENT: THE BUYER.

AFTER SETTLEMENT: THE SELLER]

SAFETY ASSURED

_Mrs. Timour_--“You’re quite sure there’s no danger in this swell.”

_Sandie_--“Never a bit, Mistress; if ye wis tae fa’ oot or onything, we could easy grup ye wi’ the boat-hook.”

BEARING WITH THE INFIRMITIES OF A FRIEND

_Dougal_ (very sympathetically)--“Yes, mem; you’ll see, Duncan was a second kizzin to the corpe, an’ he’s ta’en a bit turn o’ the he’rt juist for a meenit.”

THE PARSON OF THE PERIOD

_Jean_--“Whatna ane o’ them dae ye think the minister’s efter?”

_Mrs. McAlpine_--“Toots, ’e’s efter nane o’ them, I’m thinkin’. If fufty was comin’ the day an’ fufty was comin’ the morn, he’d blaw in a’ their lugs!”

SPIRITUAL APATHY

THE new minister had intimated that he would open a class for young people in the Manse on Thursday evenings at eight o’clock. On the first Thursday thereafter, at eight-fifteen, the attendance was not at all encouraging.

EMULATION

NOTHING is more aggravating when you are taking a long country walk with a short friend, than his insisting on stepping over fences as you do, when he could so much more easily crawl under.

A BONE OF CONTENTION

IT may be asked, why does this young man not make himself agreeable to these girls if he is the only male to be had? We have to state in reply that he has made himself agreeable to all the young ladies in turn, and now they have begun to quarrel about him.

NATURE’S SIMPLICITY

_Candid Celt_--“There’s them that was sayin’ to me what an aaful nice ponnie cratur the leddy was.”

_Person on Honeymoon_--“That was very good of them indeed.”

_Candid Celt_--“Ay, ay, an’ they’ll wonder extr’or’nar whatt wey she’ll not get a praa’er lad nor yersel, onywey!”

ANOTHER OF THE SAME

[Scene--not a hundred miles from Brodick.]

_Miss Spry_ (who with her sister has accepted a lift)--“O, driver, would you keep well to one side: here is _another conveyance_ coming!”

GIVE A DOG A BAD NAME

--“What’s your little sister crying for, Donald?”

--“Oh she aye greets when she sees the doctor, an’ thon’s him comin’ along the road.”

WHAT IT’S COMING TO

_Affable vis-a-vis to Sedate Old Gentleman_--“Do anything in politics, sir? May as well tell you I support the Empire myself. Trample on the Crown and Constitution, sir--you’re on my corns!”

[_Old gentleman shifts his feet uneasily and is dumb._

THE REASON OF IT

[Scene--A Drawing-Room in the Country.]

_First Young Lady_--“I suppose there are a great many young men in Glasgow.”

_Second and Third Young Ladies_ (carelessly)--“Oh, about seventy or eighty thousand or more.”

_First Young Lady_--“_That_ accounts for so many of you Glasgow girls getting engaged. I knew there must be _something_!”

AN ART EXTRA

_Sandie_ (afraid that his companion’s interest in the Exhibition is flagging) “Noo, we’re comin’ tae a Hunder’-an’-fifty pounder!”

GUID GEAR

----“Wha’s that Mary MacCallum’s gaun wi’ noo?”

----“I dinna ken. He wad need tae be guid, for he’s naether big nor bonnie!”

WHAT IT IS TO BE A LORD

----“See yon’s the Airl o’ Rosebery, that wee man wi’ the nae whiskers!”

----“Lo’d sake!--The Craetur!”

NOT A LIKELY CUSTOMER

_Fruit Merchant_--“Hey, keep yer haunds off the barra if ye’re no gaun’ae buy the plooms.”

RIPE PLUMS]

JEER, BOYS, JEER

_Ironical Chorus of Depraved Juveniles_--“Haw, haw! Wire in, Kilties! Quick march! Stand at Ease! Hurray for the Feather-heids!”

REGULAR DEAD-HEADS

_Fair Saleswoman_--“Would you like to buy a ticket for this beautiful cushion?”

_Lady from the Country_--“Deed no, we’re no gaun’ae buy onything. We cam’ in wi’ complimentary tickets, an’ we’re jist gaun’ae enjoy oorsels.”

PRIDE OF STATION

_The Goldsmith_--“Now this is just the thing for your son--a very fine keyless watch.”

_The Mother_--“Ye needna bother lettin’ us see that. Oor boy has aye been brocht up a _gentleman_, an’ we want nane o’ your _keelie’s_ watches for him!”

SYMPATHY

_Hardy Mariner sings lustily_--

“And a mahther weeps
Awr a Seller’s grev.”

_Old Lady_--“Puir wee mannie, here’s a penny. I’m sure your mither never thocht ye would come tae this!”

A CITY IDYLL

_He of the Milk-shop_--“There’s nae chance tae get on in the place I’m in; the longer ye’re there they jist gie ye the mair cans tae carry.”

OUR BOYS

_Chief Clerk_ (emphatically)--“What I say _is_ that a Governor who forces a fellow to work, and tries to prevent a fellow’s friends from calling to have a quiet chat, deserves to be----”

[_The rest is too awfully emphatic._

A SEASONABLE THREAT

_Gentleman on Foot_--“Swe-e-e-p behind!”

_Gentleman on Carriage_--“Shut up, ye big-heidet ned! Mind if I come aff I’ll spile yer Jubilee for ye!”

BEARING A BOOL

_Sandie_--“Aw, Grannie--Grannie,--I’ve swallowed ma whinnie!”

_Grannie_--“Awa’ hame wi’ ye then--awa’ hame this vera meenit! Ye’re no gaun’ae dee here!”

SAIR FASHED

_Friend_--“Hoo are ye likin yer new place, Jeanie?”

_Nursery Maid_--“Ugh, I’m fair wrocht aff my feet. I’ve five o’ them tae look efter, an’ there’s only yin at the schule!”

NURSERY PLANTS]

HE KNEW SHE WAS RIGHT

_Jock Tamson_ (who has been catching it pretty hot from Mrs. T.)--“Bleeze awa’, Betty Wumman, bleeze awa’! I’m no worth showin’ a Christian speerit tae!”

THE SOFT ANSWER

_He_--“Come on, Wumman! Hae ye been tae the Cross an’ back?”

_She_--“Aw! Did ye think ye had lost yer ain we lammie doo?”

2D. 8 SWELL CIGARS FOR 2D.]

KIND INDEED

_Applicant for Situation_--“I’m very sorry, mum, that I don’t suit ye, for I must say I’m partickler well pleased with yer appearance.”

ALMOST TOO FASHIONABLE

----“Eh Jennie, ye’re nate! Ye’re a rael leddy!--Bit losh, sic a ‘toor-noor’!”

THE RISING GENERATION

_Injured Innocent_ (to father who has been dozing)--“Is there _any_ prospect of my being attended to? I understand that my mother gave you definite instructions to _rock me to sleep_, and here I am!”

PARADISE LOST

_Freddie_--“What’s ’at lady and gentleman crying for?”

_Mamie_ (with some recollection of the consequences of eating green fruit--“O, ’at’s Adam ’n’ Eve, an ’ey’s cryin’ ’cos ’ey ett a apple!”

A BAD RECOVERY

_Freddie_ (with excitement)--“O, mamma! we’ve had such fun with our new umbrella. It blew outside-in and if it hadn’t been for two boys that helped us, Bertie and me could _never have got it right again_!”

THE MAN OF FEELING

_Poverty_--... “So that any monetary help, however small, would be most thankfully received.”

_Affluence_--“Here’s twopence for you.”

_Poverty_--“Bless my soul, sir! Do you take me for a _common beggar_?”

A RIGHT TO A CHARACTER

_Deserving Widow_--“My laddie’s gaun tae the Toon tae seek a place an’ I wad be awfu’ obleeged tae ye for a character. He’s a lazy, throughither brat, but if ye jist write ‘smert, active, honest ’an industrious,’ folk’ll surely believe the minister.”

A PROVISIONAL ORDER

_Betty_--“Mrs. Mackie’s compliments an’ she wad like you an’ Miss Marget tae come tae yer tea this efternoon.”

_Miss Mimm_--“Tell Mrs. Mackie with our compliments that we’ll be very happy to come. Was there any other message?”

_Betty_--“Ay, she said if ye wis comin’ I wis tae get twa tippenny scones an’ a quarter o’ fresh butter, but if ye said ‘No’ I wisnae tae mind.”

INTERFERENCE WITH FAMILY PRIVILEGE

_Message Boy_--“What are ye hittin’ the wee lassie for?”

_Enraged Party_--“Ay, I’ll hit ’er! I’ll let her see if _she’ll_ hurray when _oor_ coals is tummelt!”

HALLOWE’EN RIVALS

_First Light_--“Aw-haw! What a wee turnip!”

_Second Light_--“Ah, bit I don’t care. I’ve a big yin at hame, an’ I can gang inside o’t an’ warm ma haunds at the caunle. Now!”

A DISPUTE IN THE FIRM

_Junior Partner_--“Div ye think I’m gaun’ ae dae a’ the wark an’ let you staun the hale day leanin’ on that shivvel--div ye?”

DIGNITY OFFENDED

_The Master_--“Keep yer distance, noo! Hivn’t I tell’t ye afore that it’s no the thing for the ’prentice tae walk aside the Coark?”

BEFORE THE BALL

_Master of Ceremonies_ (in tone of command)--“Toap lady an’ gentleman chassies doon an’ draps the lady tae the veezy-vee.”

ETIQUETTE AT THE RIVETER’S REUNION

_He_--“Would ye dance the Circassian Circle wi’ me if ye please?”

_She_--“Beggin’ your pardon, Mister, bit I think ye hivn’t been introjuced.”

SMOKING STRICTLY PROHIBITED.

NO STANDING ON SEATS]

REAL BENEFACTORS

_Rev. Peter Sawder_ (about to close proceedings by proposing a vote of thanks to the Sunday-school teachers)--“And now, dear children, before we go we must thank those who have worked so hard to give us pleasure to-night. Can you tell me who they are?”

_Grateful Boy_ (appreciatively)--“Please, sir, the Bakers, sir!”

J. CRA ... BAKERY]

THE LOAVES AND THE FISHES

_The Rev. Mr. Fogey calls with some pecuniary relief from the session for the poor widow who attends his church regularly on Sundays. Two other reverend gentlemen have also called on similar errands, and Mrs. McTaggle explains_: “Come awa’ in, sir. Ye’ll ken Mr. Blazer. I often goes tae his prayer-meetin’ on Wednesdays. An’ this is Mr. Clapperton; the weans is constant scholars in his Sunday-school. Eh, aye! A body has a heap tae be thankfu’ for!”

SIGNS OF THE FESTIVE SEASON

--“Can I send the mistletoe, mum?”

--“Oh no, I’ll just take it with me. You see I’m a widow, and there’s
no saying----”

--“Vants any books or shoes or shplendit pictures, leddy?”

----“Na, na We’re ower thrang cleanin’-up fir Ne’rday tae look at
onything the noo.”

“Come on up quick Geordie, there’s Sassengers for the dinner!”

--“You know, I feel it a positive pain to dine unless every dish is of
the choicest possible variety.”]

MORE SIGNS OF THE FESTIVE SEASON

“You’d better awa hame wi’ yer shivvel. A’ve dune every dour in this
crescent a’ready”

--“If I hadnae thocht there wis some o’ that curran’-bun left ower
frae last New Year I wad hae sent oot for a pund.”

“Eh, wumman! I’m that waik. We wis at a graun pairty in ma son’s last
nicht an’ I’ve ta’en naething the day but a peill an’ a cup o’ tea--”

Tom gets a smoking cap from Bessie and a pair of slippers from Kate.
He is very grateful but has not made up his mind which girl to propose
to.

“Well, of course, I’m awfully, _awfully_ fond of chocolate-cake, but
I’ve a _perfect_ _terror_ for oranges!”

Baby gets quite a lot of Christmas Cards He does enjoy them!]

RANDOM QUOTATIONS

I HAD thought it desirable to wind up with some apt quotation from the poets, but I am afraid I have not successfully done so. It would be rash to claim that the quotations here given are apt, or that the sketches in any way elucidate the text of the classic authors. Indeed, an examination of the context would, I am almost certain, reveal the fact that not in a single instance has the real meaning of the passages been caught by the illustrator. Better close the volume without further remark.

“I was a child and she was a child
In this Kingdom by the sea
* *
With a love that the wingèd sheriffs uneven
Coveted her and me.”
--Poe

“Blest be the Art that canny mortal eyes.”
--Cowper.

“No mate, no comrade loose I knew.”
--Wordsworth.

“Uneasy lies the head that wears sack roun’.”
--Shakespeare.

“Come fourth, thou fearful man!”
--Shakespeare

“They call my crew ill-hatted, but I care not what they say”
--Tennyson]

Printed by
BALLANTYNE & CO. LIMITED
Tavistock Street, London

Transcriber’s notes

New original cover art included with this ebook is granted to the public domain.

Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. Inconsistent hyphenation has been retained.

The text in the illustrations has been transcribed. The style of text in the illustrations varies but the transcription has been made consistent with the text of the book: superscripts are not used in Mr., Dr., etc., personal initials are spaced, abbreviations are not spaced. Some quotation marks have been added.

Where it was not possible to determine the correct transcription a pair of question marks has been substituted.

The signature “Twym” appears in every illustration but has not been transcribed.