Chapter XXXI

INVASION, _continued_,--‘BRITONS, STRIKE HOME’--BONAPARTE’S WILL.

At this time much use was made of the phrase ‘Britons, strike home!’ which first appears in an adaptation of Beaumont and Fletcher’s play of ‘Bonduca,’ or Boadicea--which was set to music by Henry Purcell in 1695. The few words are not in the original drama, but are interpolated with other songs, and form a solo and chorus.

Brit - ons, strike home, Re - venge, re - venge your
coun - - - try’s wrongs. Fight, fight and re -
- cord, fight, fight and re - cord your --
selves in Dru - - ids’ songs, Fight,
fight and re - - cord, fight, fight and re -
- cord, re - cord your - selves in Dru - ids’ songs.
]

But these simple words would hardly suit the times, so a brand new patriotic song was evolved, embodying the title

BRITONS, STRIKE HOME!

_A New Song._

Should Frenchmen e’er pollute Britannia’s strand,
Or press with hostile hoof this sacred land;
The daring deed should every Briton arm,
To save his native land from dire alarm;
Her free born Sons should instant take the field,
The Altar and the Throne at once to shield.
Britons, strike home! avenge your Country’s cause,
Protect your _King_, your _Liberties_, and _Laws_!

Repel the Foe, that, desperate, dares invade
The land protected by great Sydney’s shade;
And in the cause for which your Hampden bled,
Should ev’ry Briton’s blood be freely shed;
A cause no less than Liberty and Life,
The poor Man’s Home, his Children and his Wife.
Britons, strike home! &c.

The base Usurper comes--his troops advance,
And line, with threat’ning front, the shores of France;
Already has the Despot given the word;
Already has he drawn his blood stain’d sword;
While _Jaffa’s_ plains attest th’ Assassin’s skill,
Poison and blood--the dagger and the pill.
Britons, strike home! &c.

No common war we wage, our _native land_
Is menac’d by a murderous, ruthless band;
The Throne and Altar by their Chief o’erturn’d,
And at his feet one half the prostrate world!
‘Plunder and Rape and Death’’s the hostile cry,
‘Fire to your towns--to Britons slavery!’
Britons, strike home! &c.

Come, Bonaparte, come! we are prepar’d;
No British heart a foreign foe e’er fear’d.
What! tho’ an abject world in arms should rise,
In _England’s_ cause, a Briton death defies;
If to herself she prove but firm and true,
Gaul, and her frantic Chief, she’ll make to rue.
Britons, strike home! &c.

Plung’d in the deep, her navy we’ll confound,
Or with French blood manure our British ground;
Drive backward to the sea the Gallic slaves,
And whelm their host, like Pharaoh’s, in the waves;
Restore lost Peace and Plenty to our isle,
And make the land again with gladness smile.
Britons, strike home! &c.

There is an amusing picture by West (July 1803) called Amusement after Dinner, or The Corsican Fairy displaying his Prowess.’ George the Third and Queen Charlotte are at dessert, which is, as was their whole _ménage_, frugal, consisting only of a blancmange--the top ornament of which is a fleet of ships, behind which is a pineapple (the _King fruit_, as it was called on its introduction into England), the summit of which bears a crown. The royal pair are highly amused by the antics of the Corsican fairy (Napoleon) who vapours about the table in huge cocked hat and enormous sword. Pointing to the blancmange, he says, ‘If I could but get over this dish of Blanche Mange, I would soon invade the Pine Apple.’

In ‘A Monstrous Stride,’ by I. Cruikshank (July 25, 1803), Bonaparte is represented as flourishing his sword and, having one foot on Turkey and Poland, is attempting to put the other on Great Britain, but steps short, and comes among the fleet guarding the English shores. Underneath the picture is ‘He will put his foot in it.’

There was a somewhat amusing political squib on Napoleon, published some time in July of this year, entitled

BONAPARTE’S WILL.

In the name of my Trinity, the Goddess of Reason, Mahomet
the Prophet, and Pius the Pope; We the most great, most
magnanimous, and most puissant BRUTUS ALY NAPOLEON BONAPARTE,
son to a Spy, grandson to a Butcher, and great-grandson to a
Galley Slave, Emperor of the Gauls, First Consul of France,
President of Italy, Landamman of Switzerland, Director of
Holland, King of Etruria, Protector of Emperors, Dictator and
Creator of Kings, Electors, Princes, Cardinals, Senators,
Generals, Bishops, Prefects, Actors, Schoolmasters, &c., &c.,
&c., do declare, that notwithstanding the adulation of our
Slaves, and their assurances of immortality, the pangs of
our conscience, the decay of our body, the fear of recoiling
daggers, the dreadful anticipation of infernal machines
emitting fire and smoke, invented at Jaffa, and the hissing
breath of the poisonous serpents generated at El Arish, remind
us that we soon must die, and that our power must die with us.
We, therefore, according to the _Senatus Consultum_ of our free
Senate, do declare this to be our last Will and Testament, as
follows:

_Imprimis._

To our most beloved, and dearest _Ibrahim Rostan_, Mameluke,
we give and bequeath after our decease, the crown of Henry
IV., the sceptre of Saint Louis, and the throne of France and
Navarre, the sovereignty and sovereign disposal of the lives
and fortunes of thirty millions of Frenchmen, of six millions
of Italians, of seven millions of Spaniards, of two millions
of Helvetians, and of three millions of Batavians, (except as
is hereafter excepted) and we enjoin and charge all the world
to acknowledge, adore, and respect this Mameluke, _Ibrahim
Rostan_, the African, as the natural and legal successor of us,
_Brutus Aly Napoleon Bonaparte_, the Corsican.

We give and bequeath in reversion, to Citizen _Barras_, our
dear Consort, much improved, and more enriched, but reserving
to ourselves the disposal of her virtuous Maids of Honour, whom
we give and bequeath to our _Legion of Honour_, as a reward
due as well to the virtues of the one, as to the valour of the
other.

We give and bequeath to our dearly beloved brother _Joseph_,
the presidency of the Italian Republic, together with our
dearly bought Minister _Talleyrand_, to be disposed of as his
own property, in all future negociations.

To our dearly beloved brother _Lucien_, we give and bequeath
our Batavian Republic, and our Minister _Chaptal_, who,
hereafter, shall write his speeches, dictate his letters, and
correct his spelling.

To our dearly beloved brother _Louis_, we bequeath our
Helvetian Republic, and our Minister _Berthier_, accompanied
with the sense of his Secretary _Achambau_, whose instructions,
in some time, may enable him to become a good Corporal of
Grenadiers.

To our dearly beloved brother _Jerome_, we bequeath, _in
petto_, the sovereignty of the seas, with our minister of
Marine, and all the admirals of our navy, doubting, however,
if their united efforts will make him a good midshipman.

To our dearly beloved _Mother_, we give and bequeath his
Holiness, the _Pope_, and our uncle, Cardinal _Frere_[79];
with a Pope, and a Cardinal, in her possession, her stay in
purgatory must be short, and in Heaven long.

To our dearly beloved sisters, Mistresses _Bacchiocchi_,
_Murat_, _Santa Cruce_, and _Le Clerc_, we give and bequeath
our family honours, chastity, modesty, and moderation.

To our dear son in law, _Eugenius Beauharnais_, we give and
bequeath _Parma_ and _Plaisance_,[80] with our dear countryman
_Sebastiani_, who will instruct him to drive like a coachman,
and ride like a postillion.

To our much beloved daughter in law, Madame _Fanny
Beauharnais_, as a reward for her loyalty, we bequeath a
representation, in wax, of the scaffold of her father, and
the throne of her mother, both designed by the revolutionary
modellers, _Barras_ & Co.

To our dear uncle, Cardinal Frere,[79] we give and bequeath the
triple crown of St. Peter, _in petto_, and to all our nameless
known and unknown relatives, we give and bequeath the kingdom
of _Etruria_, to be disposed of to the highest bidder, and its
value laid out in mourning rings, to be equally distributed
amongst them, and certain Continental Princes hereinafter
mentioned.

We give and bequeath to our dear friend the King of _Spain_, an
Etrurian mourning ring, and four family pictures, representing
the Bourbons dethroned, the Bourbons degraded, the Bourbons
repenting, and the Bourbons forgiven.

We give and bequeath to the King of _Naples_, three marble
statues, after a model by his Queen, representing Faith,
Loyalty, and Constancy; and to the Kings of _Sardinia_, we
bequeath our promises of honour, to be equally divided between
them.

We give and bequeath to his Holiness the _Pope_, the doctrines
of the Goddess of Reason, the Alcoran of Mahomet, and the
atheism of our Institute; all true relics; besides, to
himself, his successors, and College of Cardinals, we bequeath
concordant mourning rings, from the manufactory of our
Counsellor of State _Portalis_.[81]

We give and bequeath to his Imperial Majesty the Emperor of
_Germany_, two drawings, representing Hope amongst the ruins
of _Turkey_, and Desire contemplating _Bavaria_, designed by
Citizen _Dupe_, and sold by Citizen _Plot_.

We give and bequeath to his Imperial Majesty the Emperor of
_Russia_, three pictures, representing Louis XVI. upon the
Throne, Louis XVI. in the Temple, and Louis XVI. upon the
Scaffold; by Citizens _Loyalty_, _Monarchy_, and _Warning_.

We give and bequeath to our dearest friend the King of
_Prussia_, the landscape of Hanover, with the Imperial Crown in
perspective, by Citizens _Royalty_, _Jacobin_, and _Rebel_.

We give and bequeath to our natural Ally the Emperor of the
_Turkish Empire_, the description of our Conquests of _Egypt_,
our flight from _Egypt_, and our future return to _Egypt_, by
Citizens _Treachery_, _Cowardice_, and _Design_.

We give and bequeath to his Majesty the King of the United
Kingdoms of _Great Britain_, and _Ireland_, the United Navy
of Holland and France, commanded by Citizen _Envy_, mann’d by
Citizen _Coalition_, and lost by Citizen _Invasion_.

We give and bequeath to his Majesty the King of _Sweden_,
the French original representation of the assassination of
_Gustavus III._ to remind him of vengeance, honour and duty.

We give to our dear friend the King of _Denmark_, an original
painting, of the insults, torments, and death, of his Queen
_Caroline Matilda_; designed and executed by two celebrated
French artists, Citizens _Intrigue_ and _Crime_.

We give and bequeath to the Regent of _Portugal_, a Code of
our Revolutionary Laws of Nations, and a chapter of the Rebel
Etiquette of Grenadier Ambassadors, explained and illustrated
by Citizens _Sans Culottes_, _Rudeness_, and _Impudence_.

We give and bequeath to our friend the Elector of _Bavaria_
the Bible of the _Theophilanthropes_, and the Concordat of
_Portalis_, as an assistance to his patriotic illuminated
ministers, in their political reformations, and religious
innovations.

We give and bequeath to our chosen Grand Master of _Malta_,
the Musical Opera of the Capture of _Malta_, performed in
1798 with a Concerto by Citizen _Treason_, and in 1800 with a
Bravura, by Citizen _Valour_, with the farcical afterpiece of
the _Recapture_, performed at _Amiens_, by Citizens _Fraud_ and
_Treaty_.

To all other _Continental Sovereigns_, who have accepted more
or less of our bountiful indemnities, we give and bequeath
our mourning rings of honour; and to all other ambassadors,
ministers, agents, and deputies, who have negociated,
intrigued, bribed, or begged indemnities, we give and bequeath,
with our consciences of honour, the revolutionary principles of
_Necker_, the ex-minister, the probity, and disinterestedness
of _Talleyrand_, our minister, and the honour and virtue of
_Fouché_ our senator, to be equally divided amongst them, share
and share alike.

We give and bequeath to all _Sovereigns_ upon earth, who have
acknowledged our Corsican Kingdom of _Etruria_, and to their
ministers and counsellors, _Iron_ mourning rings, from the axe
of the Guillotine, of the _Luneville_ manufactory, bearing
the following inscription, ‘_Monarchy degraded, and Monarchy
dishonoured, Feb. 1801_.’[82]

We give and bequeath to the _Citizens of the Republics_ in
_Italy_, _Switzerland_, and _Holland_, our Corsican Mourning
rings, with an inscription, ‘_Liberty lost, 1801, and
unrevenged, 1803_.’

N.B.--We give and bequeath to the _Citizens_ of the _United
States of America_, the funeral speeches on the tombs of the
Liberty of _France_, _Germany_, _Switzerland_, _Italy_, and
_Holland_, translated and published by Citizen _Plot_, in
_Louisiana_.

To all our _Senators_, _Legislators_, _Tribunes_,
_Counsellors_, _Ministers_, _Generals_, _Cardinals_, _Bishops_,
_Prefects_, &c., &c., &c., and to all other of our _Slaves_
of every denomination and description, whether _Rebel_,
_Royalist_, or _Regicide Jacobins_; either _Traitors_,
_Apostates_, _Murderers_, or _Plunderers_, we give and bequeath
the Cannon of _St. Napoleon_, the dagger of _St. Brutus_, the
poison of _St. Aly_, the Guillotine of _St. Robespierre_, and
the halter of _St. Judas_; all true relics, to be equally
divided amongst them.

We give and bequeath to the Manes of all the Citizens
butchered by us at Toulon, murdered by us at Paris, and
poisoned by us in Egypt; our confession to our Cardinal Bishop
at Paris, and our absolution from his Holiness the _Pope_.

We command, and desire most earnestly, not to be buried in any
Church or Church-yard, in any mosque or pantheon, but in the
common sewer of _Montmartre_, where the corses of our worthy
predecessors, _Marat_ and _Robespierre_, were deposited;
but for the quiet of our soul, we do order, and put into
requisition, _La Revalliere_, high priest to the _Goddess_ of
_Reason_, _Mercier_, the atheist of the Institute, _Amarat_,
the mufti of _Constantinople_, and _Pius_ the _Pope_ of _Rome_,
to say prayers over our tomb, and to read ‘_Domine salvum fac
Consulem,’ sic transit Gloria mundi_!

Lastly, to _Louis_ the XVIII. commonly called the Pretender,
and to all Princes of the _House_ of _Bourbon_, their heirs,
executors, administrators, and assigns, we give and bequeath
our everlasting hate; and it is our further will and pleasure,
that, if any potentate or power, shall harbour the said _Louis_
XVIII. or any of the said princes, such harbouring shall be a
good cause of war; and the potentate and power guilty of such
humanity, and hospitality, shall be punished by a Coalition of
Powers as a violater of the law of nations, and contrary to the
rights of man.

In Witness whereof, we have hereunto set our hand and seal the
25th day of Prairial, (14 June, 1803) in the eleventh year of
the French Republic, one and indivisible.

BRUTUS ALY NAPOLEON BONAPARTE.

As a specimen of the bombast of the time, we may take the subjoined illustration of what our Tars would do with Napoleon.