Chapter XIII: The Oranges

Bullstone's monument of madness was nearly completed.

One day he met Adam Winter talking to Margery and Avis, as he returned from Owley Farm to dinner, and anon, in the kennels, Avis asked the meaning of words that Mr. Winter had spoken to her mother.

"He said some people have to take their pleasure like a dog snatches a bone--with an eye on the whip--father. What's that signify?"

"Who was he speaking about?"

"I don't know. He said it to mother, and she laughed and told him that pleasure took that way would be half pain."

"It means--it means--nothing at all. Just a way of speaking. Hungry dogs will steal bones--and whips will find 'em, soon or late. And all pleasure's half pain when you grow up. The thing is to be young, like you, Avis. Then pleasure's real I hope."

"Would you like for me to marry Bob Elvin, father?"

"Would you like to?"

"He asked me last Sunday going to chapel, and I said I would; and he's coming next Sunday to beg we may be tokened."

An idea so great had occupied Jacob's mind fully enough at another moment. But now there was no room for it.

"I knew he was going to, yet didn't think he'd have the cheek for another year."

"I love him with all my heart, and grandmother thinks he's a very good, proper-minded young man. She's agreeable; but she says it mustn't be for a full year, till I'm over eighteen."

"Quite right. I'll talk to Master Bob next Sunday."

"Are you vexed, or pleased about it?"

"Why, I'm both, my dear. Vexed to think how the time flies--vexed in a sort of way to find you're wife-old. Yet that's foolishness, isn't it? And pleased that you've fallen in love with an honest, hard-working man."

"You won't dress him down, or say he's looked above him, or anything like that?"

"I don't know what I'll say. Certainly not that. Run in now. You've given me something to think about."

"Mother likes Bob very much indeed."

"I don't know anybody that hasn't a good word for him."

"And I'm well thought upon too, father."

"Why not, Avis; why not?"

"Nothing can ever come between me and Bob," she said, then left him, and he forgot her instantly.

His thoughts drifted through the familiar channels and he read pregnant and personal things into Winter's jest. He began at the old starting point, strove to bring a judicial mind to bear upon the question, asked himself, for the thousandth time, if he had ever found a cause to suspect any man but this man, or associate with Margery the name of another. He remembered that with some exceptions, now faint in vanished years, he had never done so. Once or twice during their early married days, a dog-fancier had spoken to Margery in words too free and easy for his taste; but no man remained in their united lives save Winter. His wife was not a woman who particularly enjoyed male society, or strove to challenge the other sex. So far as he knew, her acquaintance did not number a dozen men of her own generation.

To this fact he always returned, and it increased rather than abated his tribulation. He told himself, falsely, that had she appreciated male society and been at her best and happiest in it, innocence would be far easier to assume; he assured himself that he would not have minded that. But there was only one who could not be shut out of her life and who, despite handsome inducement to do so, would not go out of it.

The words overheard by Avis might mean much; and even more importance he attached to Margery's answer. A woman who was doing wrong with her eyes open, and suffering accordingly, was just the woman to have replied so.

He worked himself into a fever and fell upon days of gloom darker than the weather.

Accidents contrived to throw Shipley Farm much into his thoughts, for illness fell upon it. An epidemic that was filling half the homes of Brent with sickness reached the vale, and first Amelia was stricken down, then her younger nephew. Both were seriously ill for a time and the old woman's life became endangered. The parish nurse was too fully occupied to assist them, and since neither could be moved, it became a needful charity that their neighbours lent necessary aid. Samuel Winter tended his brother, while a cousin--one of the nurses from the Asylum not far distant--obtained leave to wait on Amelia. The old woman survived, but was kept in her chamber for some weeks. Then the nurse left again and Avis and Auna were glad to be of daily service. Adam also began to recover. Margery, however, so far as her husband knew, had not visited Shipley Farm during the progress of this misfortune. He neither forbade her to do so, nor commented on the fact that she kept away, though, according to his custom, he weighed its significance and now felt glad and now read more into it than appeared.

Of late he had sometimes struggled from his torment by the road of preoccupation, and striven to busy himself for other people. Opportunity did not lack, for the winter was long and hard, and there came a day when, out of good-will alone, he set off to visit an old man--a friend of his dead father--who lived at Totnes and was reported in the extremity of need. Only the workhouse waited for him, nor did Bullstone know any means to avert this doom, since the ancient soul lived on after the world could offer no other place for him; but Jacob departed to inquire if anything might be done, and it was understood that he would stop at Brent on returning from Totnes, sup with his father-in-law, who desired to speak with him, and return at a late hour to Red House.

The day was overclouded from the north and snow promised to fall ere long. Those who best understood the signs prophesied a stern spell, for frost had hardened the ground and the temperature kept very low. At noon the sun sometimes moistened the ice and thawed a little of the mud; then the frost returned as the light failed. Fruit-growers welcomed the cold to hold back bud; but farmers, now beginning to expect their lambs, desired it not. As for Jacob, the weather braced him physically. He set off, took train to Totnes and presently found himself anticipated. The old man whom he had gone to cheer was stricken with illness and already comatose. He did not recognise Bullstone, and his visitor, glad rather than sorry that death had come to the rescue, retraced his way, being informed that money could not add to the dying man's comfort, or prolong his life.

Having heard that oranges were a valuable fruit against the epidemic, he thought to take a dozen home and leave them at Shipley Farm. He debated this problem in the train on the way back to Brent, and argued long with himself as to the propriety of such a step. He found himself uncertain, yet the idea had thrust into his mind and he hesitated to dismiss it. He regretted having thought of it; then he grew impatient with himself and determined to follow the impulse. He told himself that, whatever value might be set upon his gift, his motive was one of pure kindness. Then he pictured Winter receiving the oranges and perhaps laughing in secret as he accepted them. Once more he determined not to take them; but pursued the subject, in his laborious fashion that ever magnified trifles, and again decided that he would do so. It was typical of his mind, at this season, that already it began to lose sense of proportion; and while he exaggerated every incident involving the inhabitants of Shipley Farm, upon other far more momentous matters, he decided instantly and not seldom more swiftly than sound judgment had warranted. He was impetuous when he might reasonably delay, and where no question really existed and the problem's solution mattered nothing, he would fret and exhaust himself.

On reaching Brent he entered the shop of Jeremy Huxam to make his purchase. Jane was serving, but called Jeremy as his brother-in-law appeared. Then she put the oranges into a bag, took the money for them and left her husband with Jacob.

"I haven't forgot you are wishful to drop this," said the elder; "but shops are not in my line as you know, and it's a pity, if you ask me, that you can't stomach this work, especially as you've done so well at it."

"I'm not going to throw up the sponge, be sure," promised Jeremy. "I shall fight on till the right occupation offers. But, if the inner nature turns and the gorge rises, then you may be sure you're not doing the work you were planned to do. However, I shall come to it. I always trust the future and I always trust my fellow-man. I've been a square peg in a round hole all my life, Jacob; but after such an apprenticeship, I feel tolerable sure that the next billet will be the chosen one. Jane and I have shone through a fog ever since we have been married you may say; but fog or not, we have shown our light and done our best, and my mother is as certain as I am myself that my gifts are only kept back."

"Haberdashery you're craving for, so Margery tells me."

"My natural bent I believe to be there," admitted Jeremy.

"Then look ahead and keep your mouth shut," advised his brother-in-law, who could see farther into the fortunes of other men than his own.

"Stop where you are," he continued, "and leave the future to time. I should have thought you could see that the big chance is coming for yourself without any help."

"You're a deep one," murmured Jeremy, "and what you see was also seen by another good friend--the best I've got in the world. I mean Jane, of course. She hinted in secret that when father and mother retire, it would be in the course of nature for me to go to the post-office and take on the shop. But they haven't mentioned it and I'm far too delicate minded to do so. Not that I couldn't rise to the post-office as well as the business--I could; but I mustn't touch such a great subject yet."

"You needn't touch it. But stop whining over the smell of green stuff, and keep a stiff upper lip, and show yourself a good man of business and keen and capable at figures and so on. Then your parents will come to see for themselves you can fill their shoes presently, and very likely invite you to get well into the saddle with their help before they go. Jane's trustworthy and clever, and you're the prime favourite with your mother. She's a human being where you're concerned, and you know you'll win her right enough. And your father would far sooner pass the business over to you, and keep his hand on it, than sell."

Jeremy brightened.

"He would, because then his occupation wouldn't be exactly gone, would it? He'd look after me, and it would take a considerable amount of his time, I dare say."

Then he praised Jacob.

"You've got a business head without a doubt," he declared. "It's a great thing to have an eye that pierces the future like yours. I have the habit of looking ahead also, but my future's never too clear to me. However, I've got undying hope. I beat you there. And if the chance offers with father some day, you might sound him--just in a vague and delicate way. It's high politics and I wouldn't trust myself, nor yet Jane, to breathe it. But it might very well come from you, I dare say. See what Margery thinks; I know my good's hers."

Bullstone restrained a contempt for his brother-in-law, which he had always found compatible with good-natured regard, and promised to hold the matter in mind.

"I'm supping with them to-night by appointment," he said, "and I'll get over there now, for the governor wants to see me; but I shan't mention these high matters yet a while; and meantime you put a good face on your oranges and lemons and show yourself a little sharper at pounds, shillings and pence."

Then he took his bag of fruit and went his way. Dusk had come down and only a golden eye or two from some small shop window shot the gloaming. It was nearly dark at six o'clock, and though no flake had fallen, the air already to Jacob's nose seemed to smell of snow.

Mr. Huxam was out when he reached the post-office and from a remark that related to the far past, Jacob plunged into deep waters. His mood was amiable, but, as often happened with his mother-in-law, from whom the passing years separated him more and more widely in opinion, conversation tended to exasperate him and run him into extremes of statement he would not have uttered in a calm moment.

On this occasion, he had himself to thank and, looking back afterwards, perceived the tremendous significance of that encounter.

There had died a man concerning whom few good things could be said. Marsden Blake, a landowner of wealth and position, who succeeded his father as lord of Brent manor, had been killed while shooting big game in Africa.

For the Huxams the tragedy possessed some interest, since it was this man whom their eldest son had died to save nearly twenty years ago. As a boy he had stopped Blake's runaway horse and preserved the young man's life together with his companion's; but he had lost his own in so doing.

Jacob reminded Judith of the fact and how she had told him that Providence had permitted the death of Thomas Huxam for a good end, destined some day to appear.

"What d'you think of that matter now?" he asked. "Are you going to say that Blake wouldn't have been better dead and your son better living? What's Blake's record? A wife that died of a broken heart, a wasted estate, gambling, wrong-doing and now dead--smashed to rags and bones by a rhinoceros on the Zambesi."

"Yes, and what's my son's record? What do you suppose he's been doing these twenty years? Better work--far better work than even he could have done on earth. He went, because he was ripe to go; and as for the other, he had his chance, as the worst have, but his end was preordained. If there'd been good hidden under his evil, then, when a young saint died to save him, he would have seen the Light, like Paul, and understood his Maker's mercy and turned to the Cross. But he was lost from the womb, and the one good thing you can say about him is this: that the Lord used him as a tool in the matter of Thomas--not Thomas in the matter of him as I thought at the time."

"A funny tool--a drunken, dissolute sweep like that to blot out your fine boy."

"God uses strange weapons--strange in our eyes, yet always perfect for His purpose."

History repeats itself and Jacob answered in a phrase of Xenophanes, though of that sage he had certainly never heard. But thoughts of men echo and re-echo down the centuries, as conditions are iterated by the reverberation of history.

"Doubt is extending over everything," he said, "and you stand for a sort of faith we seldom see, mother. In my young days we spoke with a good deal more certainty than our children do; but all institutions are weaker than of old. The Law's weaker, the Church is weaker, faith is weaker. There's a spirit abroad to run black into white and turn everything grey. Bad men ain't hung like they used to be, but wrangled over and often let off for false pity; sermons ain't preached like I used to hear. Everything's toned down and softened, and modern parsons will go through their discourse without daring to name hell."

"How d'you know that, since you never go to church?" asked Mrs. Huxam.

"My neighbours tell me. I hear about the changes from my friend, William Marydrew,--a great church-goer and very keen in his intellects, for all his years. He says that in the old days the clergy used to thunder and flash the Word down, like lightning, on the people; but now they argue and palter and mark time, so that folk go out of church as doubtful as when they went in. It's all education, and men's brains getting larger and their sense of justice increasing."

"Don't you think it," answered Judith. "Their brains will land mankind in the madhouse at the rate we're going in some directions. Are right and wrong other than right and wrong because godless men; for their own base ends, try to mix 'em?"

"I don't know; but I do know that a good deal of the world's work is standing still thanks to education. Labour has got such a lot to talk about nowadays, that it spends half its time chattering; and the money is always the subject nowadays, never the work that's supposed to earn it."

"Weak faith is the sin at the back of all our troubles; and the world's pretty ripe for the avenging Hand so far as the faithful can see," she answered.

"I don't believe that. Laws are made for the living, not the dead. We labour too much under--not the avenging Hand, but the dead Hand. Everything changes, including our standards of faith and duty. I heard a chap say last week--a sober, decent man too--that life was quite difficult enough without being handicapped by the Ten Commandments. Of course he was joking, but you see the point."

Mrs. Huxam did not see the point. She retorted sternly and told Jacob that he was little better than an atheist to question the enduring quality of inspiration.

"It's all of a piece," she continued. "Man is losing sight of his Maker at every turn in the road. We talk of Anti-Christ and don't see that Anti-Christ is already among us, netting souls by the hundred thousand. The abiding consciousness of the Divine Presence is lost--gone. This generation hardly knows the meaning of the words. And what follows? The men and women are false in wedlock, false in fatherhood and motherhood, false in business and false in faith. There are new, sham gods being lifted up, and you--you, my daughter's husband--are worshipping 'em with the rest. You pretend it isn't so; but your words condemn you."

Jacob laughed, for he had thought long upon these things and slipped farther from his old guides than Mrs. Huxam knew.

"'Consciousness of the Divine Presence' a guarantee for honesty in business!" he answered. "Why, my dear woman, it isn't even a guarantee for honesty in the pulpit! How many of the parsons are honest, or dare to say what they know is the truth? And we laymen--look round. Take Ireland--two camps of men fighting like devils, with 'consciousness of the Divine Presence' the bedrock of all their quarrels. And our so-called Christian Government--what would become of that, if, for one sitting of Parliament, it put 'the Divine Presence' before practical politics and diplomacy? No, no; 'consciousness of the Divine Presence' don't make men honest, I assure you, mother--not even such as say they believe in it."

She glared at him and turned very white.

"God help your wife and children then," she said. "If I had known you hid such poison as this in you, I'd sooner have seen Margery in her coffin than----"

Barlow Huxam came in and his wife left her sentence unfinished.

"We've all got a right to our opinions. Our conduct, not our words, will judge us, mother."

"Another lie," she answered, and rose and left them.

Jacob expressed regrets and hoped that Barlow would make his peace.

"I let my tongue run," he confessed, "but I didn't mean to vex her."

Mr. Huxam, however, when he heard particulars, took rather a serious view of the controversy.

"I'm sorry you touched religion," he declared, "because on that subject Judy's--however, I'll explain you were not in earnest and are properly contrite. But don't you put loose opinions into your children, because, if she caught a doubtful word in their mouths, there'd be a flare-up and harm done beyond mending."

"Their mother teaches them, not me. Auna's the only one who sets any value on me," answered Jacob.

Mr. Huxam brought out the plans of the villa residence.

"I'm wishful for you to see the creation of the house," he said. "Young Tremayne, of Exeter, drew it and I think well of it. I was hoping that you'd persuade Judy about the bath-room; but your light's out with her to-night I'm afraid. She says the Pulleyblanks, and the Twelve Apostles, and a lot more celebrated people never had a bath-room, and therefore it's a vanity and vexation. But I argue that such an invention stands well inside Christianity, for there's no word against cleaning yourself in style and comfort. The world won't stand still."

"That's what your wife is so angry about," answered Jacob. "She thinks that if your faith is sound, you ought to stand still, no matter what cry goes up to get a move on and take the iron hand of worn-out uses off the people. We rot under festering laws that the Church won't lift, for faith, and the State won't touch, for dirty policy. You stand out for your bath-room."

"It's part of every modern villa residence and must go in I reckon; though whether I shall have the pluck to use it, time will show. Judy would expect me to be struck dead by lightning--still the opportunity may come, and the younger generation will prove there's no danger. That's one thing education have done anyway--the people wash a lot more than in my youth; but Judy always says it's too fatal easy to cleanse the outside of the platter."

Bullstone praised the plans of the house and looked forward to visiting the site at a later date.

"There'll be no building for a minute," he said, "for we're in for a real pinch of winter. However, I'm never feared of February cold."

"The snow has begun," answered Barlow.

"Then I'll get home and not sup with you--for that reason and another. I mustn't anger Mrs. Huxam any more to-day. Better you tell her I've gone home, with my tail between my legs; but hope to make my peace next time we meet."

"That's wisest," admitted his father-in-law. "I'll say. you're terrible chap fallen and didn't mean a word of it--just some nonsense you heard in the train--eh? All well at Red House?"

"All well, and my father's old friend at Totnes is fast going home--didn't know me."

"All well with him then."

Jacob left the post-office without seeing his mother-in-law again. He did not much regret hurting her, for he felt that her attitude to life was obsolete, and he had no wish that his children should grow up self-righteous and bigoted. He was in a good temper when he set out and saw flakes of snow drift past the oil lamps that lit the township. They fell fitfully as yet, but grew thicker as he climbed the hill and set his face northerly for home. He was comfortable and warm, for he had drunk before leaving Brent. His old teetotal habit had been of late years abandoned and he took spirits after his day's work. The night was very dark and he felt glad to have escaped supper at Brent. The Red House supper was taken about nine o'clock, and he would now be home before that hour. At Shipley he turned into the farm gate, where a powder of snow already whitened the earth. No light shone from the ground floor of the farmhouse, but a dull red glow outlined one bedroom window, while the others remained in darkness. The door was closed, but knowing that Miss Winter still kept her room and slept much, Jacob did not knock. Instead he lifted the latch quietly and entered the kitchen, which opened down a passage-way behind the parlour. The place was empty. A candle burned low on the table and beside it stood a jelly in a pudding basin. A peat fire was sinking on the hearth. Bullstone set down his oranges, and proceeded to leave as quietly as he had come. He was already in the stone-paved passage at the foot of a little stair, when voices from above arrested him. He heard his wife and Adam Winter. Each spoke once, and in the silence he marked every syllable.

"Quick--quick--there's a dear," exclaimed the woman.

"Come, then--come," said the man.

Then he heard Margery laugh.

Within five seconds the thing had happened, and for another five he stood without moving, without breathing. Then he turned to rush up the stairs; but he did not. There was no need for that. In another five seconds he had left the house, closing the door behind him. It was over--the long-drawn agony had ended and he stood justified in all his woes. At last the truth stared at him without one shadow to make doubtful its hideous face. He leapt to accept it. An indefinite relief settled upon him as he went panting home, for he could now make peace with his own soul. Already he had planned the future. He was amazed to find how his mind worked. He marshalled his thoughts coherently and vividly. He swept over many subjects--the children, their future, the new order of events at Red House, when his wife was gone and the place emptied of her for ever. Then only would his own heart and conscience become pure again and the muddy currents of life run clear. The dominant emotion at this moment was one of thankfulness that he had been right, for the possibility that he could still be wrong had ceased to exist and immeasurable relief attended its departure.

The children were surprised to see him and when he asked Auna for her mother, the child said that she had gone to Shipley with something for Miss Winter. He ascended to his room, to change his coat and looked at his watch. It was nine o'clock, and at ten minutes past nine, Margery returned with her shawl over her head.

She was flushed and panting.

"I've had such a run in the snow," he heard her say to Avis.

And the girl answered:

"Father's home."

She came to him then, at the table, sharpening the carving knife on the steel before he cut a piece of cold pork.

"My, Jacob! Back to supper? Nothing's amiss? I've been to Shipley with a bowl of nice stock for Miss Winter. She don't pick up. It's her age against her."

He did not answer, and Margery took her place at the bottom of the table. Her husband preserved silence, nor did he reply to Barton Gill, when the old man spoke.

The children lowered their voices and looked sideways at him. Margery, who had come straight home and not returned in to the Shipley house-place, was ignorant that he had been there and left the oranges upon the table. She, too, fell very quiet and knew that she had gravely angered him by going to the Winters. She doubted not that he had set another trap for her; and this time he would think that he had caught her. She was not frightened but sorry. She had her emotion, however, ignored Jacob and talked to the others. Then, the meal ended, Bullstone left the kitchen and ascended to the little room in the upper floor, where he kept his papers and books. He did not reappear until Avis, Auna and Peter had gone to bed. Gill, who slept over the kennels, had already retired. Then he came back into the kitchen to get a day book.

"Wait, wait, Jacob," begged Margery. "Do, my dear man, keep your anger for me and not frighten the children with it. Auna's gone crying to bed and the others are cowed and full of fear. It's too bad. What have I done, after all? Visited a sick old woman with a basin of jelly. Is that enough to----?"

"No more," he said slowly. "I know what you've done--what you've done often enough before. It's ended now. All's over between us and I'm not going to talk; I'm going to act. And may the Almighty in Heaven strike me dumb where I stand, if you shall ever hear my voice again after this hour. I could kill you and I could kill him--I could have killed you together just now. But there's others to think about. My children are mine, so I believe."

"What are you saying?" she cried.

"You've heard my voice for the last time," he answered and left her.

He locked the front door; then he went up to his workroom and the place was silent. Only the house crickets chirruped and the fire rustled. Margery sat for an hour looking straight before her. What did he suppose had happened? What was he going to do? What could he do? Something awful had overtaken him; some evil things had come to his ears. It was impossible that her trivial act behind his back could have awakened passion so deep as this. She had not hidden the visit to Shipley. The children knew where she had gone and might have told him if she had not. His awful threats terrified her. He had said all was over between them and that she should never hear his voice again. He had accused her of adultery and declared that he might have killed her. She was very frightened now and feared for his reason. She blamed herself bitterly for going to Shipley and vowed never to err again. In this mood she persisted for some time, then it passed and she banished the fear that he was mad and grew angry at his insufferable insults. She pictured life without him, and without the eternal threat that sulked in his eyes. Then she considered her children and his. She flamed with fierce indignation at his allusion to them. 'My children are mine, so I believe.' And he had sworn before God that these should be the last words he would ever speak to her. But from anger she quickly returned to terror. He must be mad thus to attack her, and she, no doubt, had innocently helped to drive him mad. Her soul sickened at the thought of the long hours yet to pass before the morning. She fell into tears and abandoned herself to a frenzy of weeping.

He made no sign and presently she dried her face and determined to approach him. If he was mad, then it became her to treat him as a sick man, forget her own suffering and do all in her power to soothe his temper. It was past twelve o 'clock when she went upstairs and saw a light under the door of his little room. She nerved herself to enter and turned the handle of the door; but it was locked.

She spoke low--not to wake the children who slept close at hand:

"Jacob--forgive me. I'm cruel sorry. Hear me--only hear me--there's a dear."

And he, sitting writing within, listened to the last three coaxing words as though they had been red-hot stabs through his head. For they were an echo.

He did not reply, and a hideous fear touched Margery that he might have destroyed himself--that that was his meaning, when he said she should never hear his voice again.

"For Christ's sake, Jacob----"

But there came no response and she went down again to the kitchen. The iron of the stove was giving fitful sounds that told of cooling; the fire had sunk. She looked out, to see that the snow had ceased to fall and stars shone through thin clouds. The crickets had left off chirruping and night hung dead and heavy. She huddled up in front of the fire and her terror increased. Then that happened to lessen it. She heard her husband push back his chair and move.

Once more, an hour later, she ascended, knocked at his door and spoke to him; but he did not reply.

"May I be judged by my fellow-creatures and condemned if I have ever done you wrong in word or thought or deed, Jacob," she said at last. Still he made no answer and she went downstairs again. He had heard and reflected how soon that would happen she professed to desire. Her fellow-creatures should judge between them quickly enough.

At two o'clock she put out the lamp, lighted a candle and went to her bedroom. She crept up very quietly, so that he should not hear her; but listened again at his door. He was breathing heavily and muttering in his dreams. She had heard his voice again; but it sounded strange and far off, touched to an unfamiliar tone, as sleeping voices are.

She put out her candle and looked in upon her children. Avis and Auna were both in deep slumber. They had pulled up their blind, as they were wont to do and put out a saucer of milk and jam, to freeze and make a dainty for the morning. Peter's room was on the other side of the passage. He, too, slept soundly with a book beside him. She entered her own room shivering with the cold and feeling physically hungry. But she did not descend again. She went to bed and shivered still, missing the great, sanguine body that was wont to keep her slight figure warm.

Again she cried till her pillow was wet and cold, and she longed that when she slept she might never wake again.

Dawn was grey and the hour for rising had come before she grew unconscious.