Chapter III: Act III

SCENE.--_A room in_ ABNER’S _old fish-house, supposed to be on the
shore. There is one exit_, L. _An old-fashioned bureau_, R. _A doll’s
house. Some rag rugs on the floor. Some old chairs. An old lounge_,
L., _front. A hammock. On a stage where it is possible there should
be a large door in the center with a view of the water beyond. An
impression of the room being up-stairs would add to the scene_.

(_As the curtain rises_, SAM. _stands by the exit listening_.)

ABNER (_outside_). Come up-stairs, Nat! (SAM. _gives a frightened look around the room and crawls under the sofa_. NAT _and_ ABNER _enter_.) This is a good place to talk things over. Hardly any one but Arey ever comes up here. (_If there is a door_ C., _he throws it open_.) There’s a fine view from here. On a clear day you can see way down to High Land. This used to be Arey’s playhouse.

NAT (_looking about_). Well I know that. We boys used to come up here to tease the girls because the cake that went with the tea parties appealed to us. It was here I fell in love with Arey. It was here I first asked her to marry me.

ABNER. I’m sorry, Nat, that Arey doesn’t care for you.

NAT. It’s plain to see now why she doesn’t care.

ABNER. Nonsense!

NAT. No nonsense about it. Look at the way she took the part of that darned little sand peep. Well, I’ll make her see what he is before I get through.

ABNER. You are crazy jealous, Nat. Don’t make a fool of yourself. Ariel is good-hearted and impulsive, and quick to take the part of any one who is in trouble.

NAT. She wouldn’t help me if I was dying.

ABNER (_impatiently_). Well, perhaps she wouldn’t! Might as well say one thing as another. It’s a waste of time and energy to argue with a man who is madly in love and insanely jealous.

NAT. Are you going to let her take up with this little crook and
throw me over?

ABNER. Crook is a strong word, Nat. The boy may have been expelled from college, and may be in wrong with his father, but he didn’t break into the post-office last night. I think it is more than likely that he called there in his efforts to find a boarding place. I was scared off by some one’s knocking on the door.

NAT (_with an exclamation of satisfaction_). Ah! Then you admit that
you were the one who entered the post-office?

ABNER. Certainly. I don’t know how I am going to pull out, but I can’t let this fellow face a charge of which I am guilty. How did you know I was there?

NAT. After we had our little talk last night, I guessed you would go there and I followed you. I thought you might be interested in looking over Cap’n Obed’s old papers.

ABNER. Yes, I was. Well, now we will face the situation. I have
several times offered you money which you have refused to take.

NAT. I’m not interested in money. I’m doing well enough. You know
what I want.

ABNER. Yes, I do know. You want me to actually force my daughter into
marrying you.

NAT. Well, why not? You admit I am all right. There is no reason why
she wouldn’t be happy with me.

ABNER. And in case I refuse, just what are you going to do?

NAT. Well, of course I don’t suppose you want all your old friends and neighbors to know how you cheated my father and old Joel Tinker, and of course now there is Miss Cynthy.

ABNER. Well, I can’t see any way of giving her money without telling
the whole thing.

NAT. The land this building stands on is hers, isn’t it?

ABNER. I’m not saying just what belongs to her. (_Suddenly and determinedly._) See here, Nat, if you can show me a way out of the hole I am in, I will see what I can do with Arey.

NAT. That sounds like sense. Get Ariel to give me her promise and I’ll hand over the papers I stole from Obed’s safe last winter, and you will never hear another word from me.

ABNER. Well, what about last night? I was a tarnation fool.

NAT. I’ll take the responsibility of it. I’ll say that I did it. I’ll hatch up an excuse of some kind. I don’t suppose you really made away with anything? (_Laughs._)

ABNER. It isn’t at all likely. Obed will find all his stuff after a while. I couldn’t very well speak up and tell him where I put the money box.

NAT. Well, if he doesn’t find it, you can tell me, and I will tell
them where it is when I get around to a confession.

ABNER. Well, that will pull young Gordon out of the post-office business, but it doesn’t make it out he didn’t steal about six pipes. Mine is accounted for.

NAT. Oh, Gordon is up to something. That’s the kind of a little snipe he is. His father has nothing but trouble with him. How soon will you see Arey?

ABNER. Right off. I don’t see that we have provided any way to
straighten things out with Miss Cynthy.

NAT (_easily_). Well, she has managed to pull along all these years.
Why fret now? What she doesn’t know isn’t going to hurt her.

LEM. (_outside_). Cap’n Abner, are you up there?

ABNER (_going to door_). Yes.

OBAD. Well, for the love o’ Admiral Dewey, listen to this! (_Enters,
followed by_ LEM.)

LEM. Say, Obed has discovered that there weren’t nothin’ took from
the post-office last night.

OBAD. Gosh all fog horns, no! I found the money box! Not a cent gone! Everything upset from one end the place to the other, and nothing took! That young Gordon chap must be a lunatic. Cranberry has gone his bail, but I reckon he ought ter be in an asylum instead o’ traveling around loose.

LEM. Wal, it’s the durndest piece o’ business I ever heard tell on, and everybody don’t believe he took all those pipes even if there is so much evidence against him. Some says it was a big fellow and some says it was a little one.

OBAD. I stick to it the man that stole my pipe wuz a little bit of a feller. He up behind me and put his hand in my pocket (_illustrating as he talks_) an’ scat before you could so much as wink.

LEM. Yes, an’ Jim Hincks says he wuz a big feller.

ABNER. And Sammy said so once, and then he shied off and wouldn’t say
much of anything.

OBAD. No wonder. The way Lem talks at the kid is enough to frighten a
whale.

LEM. An’ Cranberry didn’ know when his pipe was took and wouldn’t say
nothin’ if he did. He’s took an awful shine to Miss Cynthy’s boarder.

OBAD. Say, suppose we find the feller and tell him we found out he
didn’t take nothin’ from the post-office an’ see what he says.

ALL. That’s right. Good idee!

LEM. Maybe he’ll own up ’bout the pipes if he finds out the charge
agin him ain’t so serious.

OBAD. Maybe so, but it’s my opinion the feller is plumb crazy.

(_They all start to exeunt._ ARIEL _comes to door followed by_ HEP.)

ARIEL. Father, are you here? (_Stops abruptly._) Oh, a meeting of the
vigilance committee? Is Sammy up here?

ABNER. No.

ARIEL. Hepsy can’t find him, and sometimes he comes up here when I am
home, you know, so I thought perhaps he was here.

HEP. My land! I’ve been all over town. I’m beat out. He didn’t go to
school and I ain’t seen him since he was over to Cynth’s this morning.

OBAD. By tunket, I don’t blame the kid. He will run away some o’
these days an’ never come back, an’ it’ll serve Lem durned right.

LEM. (_angrily_). What in thunderation would I do? Let him grow up to
be a teetotal liar?

OBAD. Gosh all fog horns, yes, if he wants ter be! Half the world
gets their living that way!

(_All exeunt but_ ARIEL. ABNER _comes back_.)

ABNER. You are going to stay up here, Arey?

ARIEL. I think so, dad, a little while. I haven’t been up here since
last summer.

ABNER (_uneasily_). You--you were always happy up here, little girl?

ARIEL. Yes, dad, and happiest when I knew you were down-stairs.

ABNER. And I was happy when I knew you were up here. Arey, I have
tried to be a good father to you and give you a happy home.

ARIEL (_going to him and putting her arms around him_). You have,
dad! You have! No girl could ask for a kinder father or a happier home.

ABNER. And I want to know you are going to have a happy home when I’m
gone. Arey, Nat’s really in love with you.

ARIEL (_turning away from him_). Oh, father!

ABNER. If you knew it meant a good deal to me, would you tell him yes? To please me? To help me? He could give you a good home. Could make you happy.

ARIEL (_slowly turning to him_). Do you mean--there is a--a reason why you want me to marry Nat? That I really could help you by marrying him?

ABNER. Yes, that’s what I mean.

ARIEL. I can’t understand how such a thing can be, but if that is the case I will do it for you, if you will tell him I don’t care for him and explain the reason I am marrying him. Will you do that?

ABNER. Yes.

ARIEL (_turning away_). Very well.

ABNER (_stepping toward her_). Arey!

ARIEL (_with an effort_). Dad, will you go away please and leave me
alone?

ABNER (_hesitating a second_). Very well.

(_Exits with bowed head._ ARIEL _gives a long sigh, goes to_ C. _door
and stands looking out for a second, then goes to doll house,
opens door and takes out a large doll. She goes to bureau, unlocks
a drawer, takes out a small box. Suddenly leans forward on the
bureau, her head on the doll._)

ARIEL. Oh, Alicia, has it come to this? (SAM. _crawls cautiously out from under sofa. He steals toward the hammock and throws a pipe into it, then starts for door._ ARIEL _suddenly turns_.) Who is it? Who is there?

(_She starts forward._ SAM. _hastily crawls under sofa again_. ARIEL
_walks forward with the little box in her hand_.)

BER. (_outside_). Ship ahoy! Anybody on deck?

ARIEL (_going to door_). Father isn’t here, Captain Berry. I’m up
here alone.

BER. That so? Can I come up?

ARIEL. Why, certainly, if you like. (BER. _enters_.) This is my playhouse up here. I have spent the happiest days of my life up here in this old room. I think I have spent the only happy ones I will ever know.

BER. Nonsense! That’s a pretty way for a young girl like you to be
talking, jest when you got all your life before you.

ARIEL. I wish I didn’t have. I wish this was the last day of my life.

BER. (_aghast_). Miss Freeman, you don’t know what you are saying. Something must have happened to pretty much upset you. You don’t look like a coward. I can’t somehow believe you are one.

ARIEL (_surprised_). A coward?

BER. It’s only a coward, a pretty contemptible one at that, who would
rather die than face what’s coming to him.

ARIEL (_suddenly standing straight and throwing her head up_). You are right. I didn’t think of that. Thank you, Captain Berry. That was just what I needed to hear. You--you spend a good deal of time over here in town, don’t you?

BER. (_smiling_). Is that a reflection on my duties as keeper of Bay
Point Light?

ARIEL (_hastily_). Oh, no, no, no! I didn’t mean that. I was just thinking that you must like our town. I know you have an assistant, and any one doesn’t have to meet you but once to realize that your duty would stand before anything else in the world.

BER. (_pleased and touched_). Why, Miss Freeman, I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. You can’t understand how much I appreciate that coming from you.

ARIEL. Why from me, especially? Oh!

(_Drops the little box and a little ring._)

BER. (_picking them up and looking at the ring fascinated_). What is
this?

ARIEL (_slowly_). That--that is a link, Captain Berry. The only
connecting link between Ariel Freeman and the girl she really is.

BER. (_breathing hard_). What do you mean?

ARIEL. I suppose you know I’m not Captain Freeman’s daughter?
Everybody knows.

BER. Yes, I’ve heard.

ARIEL. That little ring is the only thing which could throw any light on who I really am. That was on my finger, and that was absolutely all there was to help.

BER. How did this help?

ARIEL. There is a name engraved inside the ring.

BER. (_slowly_). And the name is Alicia.

ARIEL. Why, who told you that?

BER. (_realising what he has said_). Why--why--it’s right here!
(_Hastily examines the ring._) You can see it for yourself!

ARIEL. You have wonderful eyes. I have always known what the name is, and I have hard work to trace it. You see what a curious little old-fashioned ring it is; it has a German mark in it. Captain Freeman traced this to a German jeweler who in 1878 engraved the name Alicia in a baby ring for a Mrs. Emerson. The address was a hotel in Berlin. Father moved heaven and earth to trace it still further, but that was all he ever found out. He decided that my mother must have been Alicia Emerson, but whom she married, who my father is, will probably always remain unknown. Somewhere in the world I may have a mother--a father.

BER. You have been happy here?

ARIEL. Oh, yes, indeed. I couldn’t have had a kinder father than Captain Freeman. Gracious, Captain Berry, I can’t imagine why I have told you all these things! I never speak of them to any one but Miss Cynthy. Somehow you seem to be the kind of man one tells their innermost secrets to. It was so kind of you to help Lee Gordon this morning.

BER. Nonsense! Nothing kind about it. Justice, that’s all. He ain’t
any more guilty than I am.

ARIEL. You really think so?

BER. Certain! One look at his face will tell you that.

ARIEL. But the evidence against him? Such a lot of it!

BER. By tunket, the circumstantial kind or I’ll eat my hat.

ARIEL. Why, Captain Berry (_suddenly grabbing pipe from hammock_),
look! Here’s a pipe in my hammock! What in the world----

BER. (_taking pipe_). Jumping jingoes! Seth Mason’s! Got his name on
it!

ARIEL. I thought some one was up here just before you came up. It seemed to me that some one who was small was moving around. I was over by the bureau and I can’t see across the room, you know. I was startled for a second and by the time I got my senses together to cross the room they were gone.

BER. Um! So? (_Looks about. Crosses room away from_ ARIEL. _He suddenly stoops and looks under sofa._) This is a queer mix up, ain’t it? (_Bell rings._) What’s that?

ARIEL. That’s the house bell. Dad had it connected so we could hear it when we were over here and Hannah was out. I think she is out now, I will just run over to the house if you will excuse me.

BER. Certain! (ARIEL _exits_. BER. _goes to sofa_.) Come out! Come out here, I say! It’s no use, Sammy! I have caught you square! You might as well come out! All right then! I’ll bring you out myself. (_Reaches under sofa and pulls_ SAM. _out by one foot_. SAM. _yells and kicks_.) Belay there! That ain’t no way to act with your old uncle. I ain’t going to hurt you. (_Sits down on sofa and holds_ SAM. _in his arms_.) Now hush up, and tell Uncle Cran the whole business.

SAM. (_struggling to get away_). No! I ain’t got nothin’ to tell!

BER. Oh, yes, you have, Sammy! Sit still! You tell Uncle Cran what you stole all those pipes for. I was the only one in the room that was watching you this morning, and I guessed somewheres near the truth. You were frightened when that pipe fell out of Mr. Gordon’s pocket, and then when you found that no one was going to suspect you, you opened up the sugar-bowl and took the other one out, and now you just brought this one up here and put it in Arey’s hammock.

SAM. (_thoroughly frightened_). Pa will kill me!

BER. No, he won’t. Now listen, Sammy, this whole thing has got to come out some way. Your father will get it out of you, and you know how he will get it. Now, you tell me the truth and I’ll promise you that I will make things right with your father. I won’t let him touch you. You can trust me, can’t you?

SAM. (_holding him around the neck_). Yes, Uncle Cran.

BER. Well, then, when did you get a chance to go up into Mr. Gordon’s
room and leave those three pipes there?

SAM. I didn’t take those.

BER. (_reproachfully_). Now, Sammy, I said if you told me the truth.

SAM. That’s the truth, Uncle Cran! I took this pipe, and the one in the sugar-bowl and the one in Mr. Gordon’s pocket, but I didn’t take the others.

BER. By Crismus, you look as if you were telling a straight story.
Why in the name o’ all that’s sensible did you steal any of the pipes?

SAM. Well, a man took dad’s away from me, an’ maw didn’t believe it and I knew there wouldn’t any one believe it, and pa whales the stuffins out of me for telling things and--and--I thought if some more people lost their pipes he’d believe me. So I stole three and--and--pa had to believe me.

BER. (_striking his knee_). Well, by tunket, if that ain’t one on Lem! (_Suddenly looks serious and speaks half to himself._) But belay there, Cranberry! You ain’t got but half the story yet! There’s those other pipes! Well, Sammy, I’ll pull you out of this some way, although I don’t know as it’s the right thing for me to do.

SAM. (_stretching_). Oh, I’m awful tired! I been layin’ under this sofa awful long. More’n an hour, more’n three hours, I guess. Nat Williams was up here an’ Cap’n Abner. Say, Uncle Cran, it was Cap’n Abner that broke into the post-office last night.

BER. (_at the top of his voice_). What?

SAM. He was hunting for a paper. And--and--Cap’n Abner cheated Miss Cynthy. Nat said the land this house stands on belongs to her, and--and--Cap’n Abner cheated Nat’s father, too,--and--and--Cap’n Abner is going to make Miss Arey marry Nat--and--and--she cried over there (_pointing to bureau_) on top of her doll--and--and--I guess I don’t remember any more.

BER. Well, that’s quite sufficient if it’s truth you are telling.

SAM. Of course it is! I wouldn’t tell you any stories, Uncle Cran.

BER. (_a trifle dazed_). All right. Now listen, Sammy, you forget this stuff you have been telling me jest as soon as ever you can. Don’t you breathe a word of it to a living soul. If I ever hear that you have, I’ll forget to make peace with your father, and there won’t be any more trips with me over to the Point to visit the light.

SAM. Oh, I’ll never tell, Uncle Cran! Honest! Hope to die!

BER. All right. Now you go and find Cap’n Abner and tell him that I am up here and want to see him. Then you go home as hard as you can pelt. Your mother is looking for you.

SAM. (_exits_). All right, Uncle Cran.

(_Slight pause._ BER. _sits on the sofa looking down at the floor_.)

BER. Great jumping jingoes!

_Enter_ LEE _and_ PETER.

LEE. Captain Berry, I was just talking with Miss Freeman and she said you were up here. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kindness to me. I don’t see how you ever happened to stand by a stranger the way you did.

BER. I guess it was because you are Miss Cynthy’s boarder.

LEE. Captain Berry, this is Mr. Pomeroy and (_laughing_) he is the
best friend I have got on this earth.

BER. (_shaking hands with_ PETER). Well, he certain didn’t act the
part this morning.

PETER. Entirely his own fault, I assure you.

LEE. Say, Captain, may we talk with you for a little while?

BER. Certain! Glad to have you. Sit down.

LEE. You have proved such a good friend that we are tempted to make a
clean breast of things and tell you our part in this affair.

BER. Heave ahead! If you can throw a search-light on the mystery it
will be a good thing.

LEE. It is true that I have been expelled from college and that I’m
in trouble with my father.

PETER (_heartily_). He isn’t to blame in either case, Captain Berry.

LEE (_to_ PETER). Thanks, old man. (_Turns to_ BER.) When I was at Yale I was connected with a college magazine and I have several times been told that I had a great future ahead of me as a newspaper man or magazine editor. My friend Pomeroy here had to leave college last year because an invalid uncle who had brought him up was dying. The uncle left Pete all his money and when I got into a mess with dad, Pete suggested that he buy a magazine he had heard about that was on its last legs and see if we could give it a brace. I jumped at the chance. It was what I would most like on earth. Pete bought it and we have started to publish and edit a startling fiction magazine called _The Red Cap_. For a starter we have announced a serial detective story--“The Mystery of the Seven Pipes.”

BER. Well, by tunket!

PETER. It’s going to be the greatest thing on record. We write all but the last chapter and offer a prize for the best solution of the mystery. Gee! Folks run after the first issue as if it was soothing syrup and they had a kid with the colic. I had been down on the Cape, so I suggested that we lay the scene down here somewhere.

LEE. And to give local color I suggested that we come down and carry out some of the story ourselves. Last night when we arrived there was a thick fog and it seemed a good chance to make a start. We drew lots and it fell to Pete to steal the pipes.

PETER. We planned on stealing seven but I only got as far as three.

LEE (_laughing_). For the love of Pete, have you any idea who took
the other four?

BER. Yes, by tunket, I have! This beats the Dutch and no mistake! You go find Obed and Lem and tell them what you have told me. Then you bring them back here and we will clear up the mystery.

LEE (_jumping up_). Done, by jingo!

PETER. Lead us to it! [_They exeunt._

(_Slight pause._ ABNER _enters_.)

ABNER. Did you send Sammy after me?

BER. Yes, I did. I’ve got something to say to you and I thought this
would be a good place up here. Cap’n Freeman, I’m Ariel’s father.

ABNER (_staggered_). What? What do you mean? (_Suddenly growing furious._) What kind of a trick is this? Do you expect me to take your word for it? What’s your game?

BER. (_calmly_). I married Alicia Emerson twenty years ago this month. Two years later she and our year old daughter made a trip with me. We ran into a storm and were wrecked. My wife’s body was recovered. The child’s was not. I supposed her dead, of course. She wore a ring, a ring that had been her mother’s. It had her name, Alicia, engraved in it, also the mark of a German jeweler and----

ABNER (_hoarsely_). Enough! How long have you known this?

BER. I guessed it last night when I saw Alicia’s face in your
daughter. I made sure of the truth this afternoon.

ABNER. Well, what are you going to do? She is under age. The law would give her to you, I suppose. Are you going to take her away from me after all these years?

BER. You love her?

ABNER. How can you ask such a question? She is all I have! Ask any
one in Bay Point. Ask the girl herself!

BER. (_quietly_). And yet loving her you ask her to marry a man she
doesn’t love. Kind of curious, ain’t it?

ABNER (_furiously_). Now see here, Cranberry, that’s my business.

BER. (_decidedly_). It’s mine, also. She is my daughter. If you will not give the girl happiness, I will take her from you and give it to her myself.

ABNER (_desperately_). You mean that--that----

BER. Just this! Drop this Nat Williams business and never take it up
again, and give Miss Cynthy Tinker what you owe her.

ABNER. What do you know about Cynthy Tinker?

BER. What does it matter? I know you have been cheating her for
years. Do you want me to go into details?

ABNER (_hastily_). No. Supposing I refuse?

BER. Well, it will be my gain. I shall be able to find a little happiness with my daughter. I only had her a year. I only had her mother two years. Then they were both taken from me at the same time. I’ve had a lonely life, always at sea or keeping a light on some dismal point. Often when the gales have come and the storms have lashed around the old house and there’s been nobody but jest old Cranberry and his pipe, I have looked around my lonely settin’ room and wondered how it would seem to have Alicia on the other side of the fire and a little girl on the floor near by.

ABNER. My heaven, Berry, I hadn’t thought of your part of this!

BER. No, we usually get our own point of view. Mighty seldom we get
the other fellow’s.

ABNER. And if--if I agree you are willing to swear you will not take
the girl?

BER. On my word of honor. You do love the girl after all.

ABNER. But great heaven man, I can’t square things with Cynthy Tinker
without having people know the facts. Nat will tell.

BER. Why don’t you do the telling yourself? If you have been cheating perfectly innocent people I think you will find that confession is a good thing for a guilty conscience. Anyway you have two paths to choose from, and you know what is at the end of each.

(LEE _and_ PETER _rush in_, ARIEL _follows_. OBAD. _and_ NAT. _and_
LEM., CYN. _last with a letter in her hand_.)

LEE. Well, Captain, we have told them! And it didn’t kill them
either!

PETER. Yes, they rejoice in all the horrible details.

OBAD. Gosh all fog horns I should say we did! Did any one ever hear
the like? A story! “Mystery of the Seven Pipes!”

LEM. I always said writers wuz half cracked. I never was so sure of it as I am this minit! But the mystery ain’t all cleared by a long sight. Mr. Pomeroy only took three pipes. Who took the other four?

BER. I suppose, Lem, as constable of Bay Point, you would like to
have the mystery cleared up?

LEM. I sartain would, and then I could go back to work at something
sensible.

BER. Well, I’ll tell you what you want to know if you’ll jest do me a
little favor.

LEM. (_puzzled_). Why, sartain, Cap’n, always glad to do anythin’ fer
you.

BER. Well, Sammy took three pipes.

ALL. Sammy?

LEM. My Sammy?

OBAD. Gosh all fog horns!

BER. Mr. Pomeroy stole yours from Sammy. You wouldn’t believe the boy, he was afraid of you and he took some pipes on his own hook to make his story sound true.

OBAD. Rev. Mr. Peters said he was smart and by Crismus, he is! He’s
too smart fer you, Lem!

LEM. Wal, he’ll find out how smart I am when I get home.

BER. Lem, you promised me a little favor, you know?

LEM. Sure!

BER. You are not to touch Sammy.

LEM. (_astonished_). I’m not to---- (_Suddenly stops and grins._) Well, all right. You’ve got me, Cap’n. You always did spoil that kid. Wal, there’s still another pipe.

ABNER. Yes, mine. I dropped it when I broke into the post-office last
night.

ALL. What? You? Abner!

OBAD. Fer the love o’ Admiral Sampson what fer?

ABNER (_steadily_). I wanted to find some old papers in a business deal between your father and me. I suppose you remember that your father sold me this whole shore property here?

OBAD. Yes, sartain.

ABNER. Well, I found out right after I bought it that half the land didn’t belong to him to sell. There was a mistake in his title and some of the land belonged to Nat’s father and some of it belonged to Miss Cynthy’s father.

CYN. Land o’ goshen!

ABNER. They didn’t seem to know. They must have thought old Mr. Daniels knew what was his property. I didn’t say anything. You know why I wanted the property and the money I have made here. I knew if they realized this land was theirs they wouldn’t have sold. They would have used it themselves. I knew I had a good thing and I kept it. I made a pile and I kept them from their chance of making money when shore property was worth its weight in gold. That day has long gone by, but I’m ready to pay Miss Cynthy whatever seems right. I’ll leave it to Cap’n Cranberry to figure it out. I have offered money to Nat and he has refused to take it. He wants my daughter instead. Well, he had better take my money, for he can’t have my daughter unless she wants him.

ARIEL (_joyfully_). Father!

NAT (_furiously_). Thunderation! [_Exit._

ALL. Good work! That’s the talk, Cap’n Abner!

ABNER (_slowly_). I have deceived and cheated all these years. Of course I realize that I’ve got to lose my friends, that I will be the talk of the town.

BER. I don’t see why. It’s taken a pile of courage to come out and say you were wrong and make it right. If your neighbors are good friends they will stand by you. They won’t go back on you.

OBAD. That’s right, Abner. Of course we won’t.

LEM. And there ain’t a mite of reason why any one should know anything about this. I for one shan’t mention it to Hepsy, and (_grimly_) I guess if she don’t know it you’re safe.

CYN. (_earnestly_). And I ain’t got the least bit of feeling against
you, Cap’n Abner.

ABNER. Thank you, Cynthy. Thank you all. I don’t deserve such
treatment from you.

LEE. Say, Miss Tinker, just because you are suddenly coming into
money I hope you won’t be so set up that you’ll bounce your boarders.

CYN. Well, I guess it won’t be such an awful lot o’ money that I need to be set up too high. I said you could stay as long as you wanted to and I meant it. You can.

LEE. Good news!

PETER. Rah, rah, rah! Thank heaven we don’t lose those muffins!

CYN. (_suddenly_). And I declare to goodness, Mr. Gordon, here’s a special delivery letter that come for you. (_Gives it to him. He tears it open._) I thought it must be important and I come out to look for you and so much has happened that it went clean out of my head.

LEE. Well, say, this is certainly the day for unusual things to
happen. Look at this, Pete! (_Hands the letter to_ PETER.)

PETER (_glancing it over_). What now? Well, glory be! Listen, you who heard Mr. Williams denounce Lee this morning. The fellow who was guilty in the Yale mix up has been found out and they want Lee to go back to college. His father has also found out his mistake and he wants Lee to go back to work for him.

ARIEL (_going to_ LEE). Oh, Lee, I’m so glad!

LEE. Well, they are just too late. Lee is going to stay right here on
his present job until he makes good.

LEM. Wal, I guess we got everything cleared up; we might as well be
moving along.

OBAD. Gosh all fog horns, yes! I been so excited I ain’t had hardly a
bite to eat to-day. I’m faintin’ dead away if any one should ask you.

(BER. _walks to door_, C., _and stands looking out_. CYN., LEE,
PETER, OBAD. _and_ LEM. _exeunt_. ABNER _starts to follow, then
looks back at_ BER. _uncertainly_. ARIEL _goes to_ ABNER _and
throws her arms around him_. BER. _watches them from the door_.)

ARIEL. Oh, dad, I can’t tell you how happy I am.

ABNER. I’m glad to hear you say it, Arey. I come mighty near asking
you to sacrifice your happiness.

ARIEL (_joyfully_) But you didn’t quite do it after all.

ABNER. Not quite.

ARIEL. Father dear, don’t think anything you said can make a bit of
difference. I only love you more than ever before.

ABNER. Lord, Arey, what can I say to a thing like that?

BER. (_coming forward_). Say you are a fortunate man to have such a
daughter.

ABNER. Yes, that’s what I ought to say. It’s true. I’m afraid I don’t realize how true. (_Pats_ ARIEL _on the shoulder_.) Run along, little girl, and be happy. (ARIEL _exits_.) Captain Cranberry, I----

BER. If you please, Abner, I don’t believe I can talk any more just now. If you’d just leave me up here alone for a while. It’s all right that you should have her. It’s you that’s been the real father to her. You have had the privilege that I have missed. You--you see she’s Alicia’s little girl and I’ve jest got to get over it, that’s all.

ABNER (_grasping his hand_). All right. I won’t talk. Some
day--later, I’ll try to tell you all that I feel. [_Exit._

(BER. _stands in the center of the room with bowed head_.)

BER. Alicia’s little girl! (_Slight pause._)

CYN. (_outside_). Arey! Arey! (_Enters._) Land, Cap’n, I thought Arey
was here. Are you here all alone?

BER. (_slowly_). Yes, alone, Cynthy. The way I’ve lived the most of
my life. The way I’ll always have to live it.

CYN. My land, Cap’n, you must be dreadful down and out to talk that
way.

BER. I ain’t a mite o’ good to any one on the face of the earth.

CYN. You? You ain’t? Well, I’d like to see the man, woman or boy in Bay Point that you ain’t some good to. Cap’n Berry, I didn’t suppose you ever got to feeling like this. I think you must have lost sight of the Beacon.

BER. (_suddenly looking up_). By tunket, Miss Cynthy, you’re right! That’s jest what I’ve done! I reckon I’m kind of tuckered out. I was jest naturally making a fool of myself, thinking there weren’t nobody on earth that loves me, and by Crismus, why should there be? I ain’t got relations same’s other men and I ain’t got no right to expect the same kind of happiness as other men. Well, I’ll set sail for the Point and go on duty. That’s the thing for me to do. I’ve been spending too much time over here and I need to go to work.

CYN. Cap’n Berry, I should think you would be ashamed to talk so. Nobody loves you! Why, everybody in Bay Point loves you, and you know it.

BER. (_suddenly and bluntly_). Do you, Miss Cynthy?

CYN. (_very much confused and upset_). Why, my gracious, Cap’n! What
a way to put it! How you talk!

BER. (_looking at her curiously_). I’m a regular old fool, Cynthy. I’ve had this on my mind for a long time and now, by tunket, I’m going to get it off and then I’ll stop mooning around like a sixteen-year-old kid! The first day I met you I loved you and I have been loving you a little more every time I have seen you since. I wouldn’t want you to marry unless it meant the same to you as it does to me, and I can’t believe that’s possible. I reckon I know what you’re thinking. I reckon I know what your answer will be, but I might as well have it from you straight. (_Goes to her, and puts his hands on her shoulders._) Cynthy, do you think it would be possible for you to find happiness with a frost-bitten old Cranberry?

CYN. (_looking up at him_). I think it would, Cran, if you were the
Berry.

CURTAIN

MUCH ADO ABOUT BETTY

A Comedy in Three Acts

_By Walter Ben Hare_

Ten male, twelve female characters, or seven males and seven females by doubling. Costumes, modern; scenery, two easy interiors. Plays a full evening. Betty, a moving picture star, going south on a vacation, loses her memory from the shock of a railway accident, and is identified as a rival, Violet Ostrich, from a hand-bag that she carries. In this character she encounters the real Violet, who has just eloped with Ned O’Hare, and mixes things up sadly both for herself and the young couple. An exceptionally bright, clever and effective play that can be highly recommended. Good Negro, Irish and eccentric comedy parts. _Price, 35 cents_

CHARACTERS

LIN LEONARD, _Betty’s one best bet_.
MAJOR JARTREE, _of Wichita, not only bent, but crooked_.
NED O’HARE, _a jolly young honeymooner_.
MR. E. Z. OSTRICH, _who has written a wonderful picture-play_.
DR. MCNUTT, _solid ivory from the neck up_.
JIM WILES, _a high-school senior_.
ARCHIE, _a black bell-boy at the Hotel Poinsettia_.
OFFICER RILEY, _who always does his duty_.
OFFICER DUGAN, _from the Emerald Isle_.
MR. EBENEZER O’HARE, _a sick man and a submerged tenth_.
MRS. EBENEZER O’HARE, _“Birdie,” the other nine-tenths_.
AUNT WINNIE, _Betty’s chaperone_.
LIZZIE MONAHAN, _Betty’s maid, with a vivid imagination_.
ETHEL KOHLER, _a high-school admirer of Betty_.
VIOLET OSTRICH, _a film favorite, Ned’s bride_.
MRS. K. M. DIGGINS, _a guest at the Hotel Poinsettia_.
DAFFODIL DIGGINS, _her daughter, “Yes, Mamma!”_
MISS CHIZZLE, _one of the North Georgia Chizzles_.
PEARLIE BROWN, _Violet’s maid, a widow of ebon hue_.
VIOLET, _Violet Ostrich’s little girl aged seven_.
DIAMOND, _Pearlie’s little girl aged six_
_and_
BETTY, _the star of the Movagraph Co._

Jartree may double Dugan; Ned may double Riley; Jim may double
Archie; Mrs. O’Hare may double Ethel; Aunt Winnie may double Pearlie
and Lizzie may double Miss Chizzle, thus reducing the cast to seven
males and seven females. The two children have no lines to speak.

SYNOPSIS

ACT I. Betty’s apartments near New York. Married in haste.

ACT II. Parlor D of the Hotel Poinsettia, Palm Beach, Fla. Three days
later. Betty loses her memory.