Chapter XXII: Act III: , Scene 6. Fékla, Sophia, Anna, Casetwister, Pettifog, Gurgle,

SNARE, GLADLY, WORDY, GRAB, TALON AND SLY (_tipsy, playing cards_)

_Talon._ They have picked me clean.

_Gurgle._ Well! We are not picking your own feathers.

_Pettifog._ My dear friend, always grab the jack-pot!

_Talon._ A well-born man grabs all in splendid style.

_Wordy_ (_to Pettifog_). Your intimate has been flaying us.

_Pettifog._ That’s proper. (_To Sly._) You had better rise. (_To Casetwister._) Will you not let him mix a punch for us? He is a great hand at it.

_Casetwister._ Very well.

_Gurgle._ That’s right, for the young beauty has been watering us as from a trough....

_Sly_ (_walking up to Anna_). There is some brandy in the basket.

_Fékla._ His goose is cooked.

_Pettifog._ That’s so.

_Casetwister._ Whose?

_Pettifog._ Mine.

_Gurgle._ That accursed Theodotos has done it all.

_Gladly_ (to Grab, who has been looking into his cards). Leave my ca-ca-ca----

_Grab_ (_putting his hand on his mouth_). Stop your cawing.

_Wordy._ Say, Sly, stop courting her.

_Casetwister._ Anna, why have you run away from us? You had better serve us the new punch; we will be obliged to you.

_Fékla_ (_to Anna_). Hurry up.

(_Anna serves to the guests punch and wine, while Fékla gives her privately some signs: the guests are getting drunk._)

_Snare._ Oh, oh, we are getting there!

_Pettifog._ Eh?

_Wordy_ (_pointing to Sly_). Ask him.

_Sly._ Sir, the trouble is, it’s all gone.

_Pettifog._ Keep it up; here is the wherewithal (_throws a purse to him_).

_Gurgle._ The trouble is all with Theodotos.

_Pettifog._ It is easy for you to have your fun with Theodotos; but it’s I who am having the trouble with him.

_Casetwister._ What of it? If it is true that through conspiracy Deodatus has gotten away with Theodotos’s property, there is a law for such a case.

_Talon._ I have already given the order to find the laws that cover the case.

_Casetwister._ I suppose there are some statutes?

_Talon._ Lots of them, sir.

_Wordy._ And also some decrees?

_Talon._ There are.

_Gurgle._ And, of course, there must be a special ukase.

_Talon._ There are several.

_Grab._ But clearest of all it is in the Institutes; you will find it in the chapter where ... about it----

_Snare._ Rather dark.

_Wordy._ It’s an ace and a jack.

_Casetwister._ And then we may apply the law of false pretences?

_Talon._ Of course, we may, sir! It fits the case.

_Gurgle._ And we bring the Reglement in accord with the Institutes....

_Talon._ Then all will agree with the above-mentioned ukase.

_Gurgle._ That’s it. You see, you can easily pass sentence.

_Casetwister._ Theodotos is out of the question. Deodatus is certainly a villain; so we will take Theodotos’s property and give it where it belongs. That’s my opinion.

_Gurgle._ Mine too.

_Snare._ And mine.

_Wordy._ And mine.

_Gladly._ A-a-and mine.

_Grab._ I agree with that unanimous opinion.

_Pettifog._ Thank you all.

_Casetwister._ ’Tis not hard to pick the laws.

_Anna_ (_aside, as she picks up the cards on the ground_). And I will pick the cards.

_Casetwister._ Where is the punch?

_Fékla._ Anna! Be quick about it, and serve them often all around, and ask their favour.

_Gurgle._ Oh, we will soon ask hers.

_Casetwister._ Let’s have a song.

_Wordy._ Let’s throw away the cards: the queen has forsaken me.

_Snare._ You deal with a heavy hand.

_Casetwister_ (_to Grab_). Dear Procurator! You have a good voice: give us a song!

_Grab._ Most gladly, but I have no voice.

_Casetwister._ The best way you can.

_Gurgle._ We will sing the refrain.

_Grab_ (_sings_).

Take, you’ll learn the art with ease!
Take whatever you can seize!
God for this your hands did make,
That you may take!

(_All repeat_: Take, take, take!)

(_Sophia shuts her ears and goes away._)