Chapter I: Part 1

Puritan Discipline Tracts.

AN ALMOND FOR A PARROT;
BEING
A REPLY
TO
MARTIN MAR-PRELATE.

Re-printed from the Black Letter Edition,
WITH
AN INTRODUCTION AND NOTES.

LONDON:
JOHN PETHERAM, 71, CHANCERY LANE.
1846.

INTRODUCTION.

Although I cannot at this time bring together positive and undoubted evidence of the authorship of the following tract, (because the materials are at present inaccessible to me,) at some future period, in the Introduction to one of his accredited productions, I hope to place the fact beyond the reach of cavil or question, that Thomas Nash, to whom public fame has given it, was the author.

Nash was of St. John’s College, Cambridge, and took his degree of B.A. in 1585. He is supposed to have quitted the university in some disgrace about 1586, but of the cause we are entirely ignorant. The anonymous author of a tract called “Polymanteia,” printed in 1595, thus alludes to it: “Cambridge, make thy two children friends; thou hast been unkind to one [Nash], to wean him before his time, and too fond upon the other [Gabriel Harvey], to keep him so long without preferment; the one is ancient and of small reading; the other is young and full of wit.” Nash himself speaks of his beardless years, in Pierce Penniless; and Gabriel Harvey, in his Pierce’s Supererogation, 1592, calls him “a gosling of the printing house;” and in another place “a proper young man;” and elsewhere, “a young man of the greenest spring, as beardless in judgment as in face:” so that he must have taken his degree of B.A. early in life, and we know that he never proceeded Master of Arts.

It would appear from the Introduction to the following tract that Nash had visited Italy. Mr. Collier, in his Introduction to Nash’s Pierce Penniless [Shakspeare Soc. 1842], says, “We find him [Nash] in London in 1587, in which year he wrote a very amusing and clever introductory epistle to a tract by the celebrated Robert Greene, called ‘Menaphon,’ afterwards better known by the name of ‘Greene’s Arcadia,’ the title it bore in the later impressions. This seems to have been Nash’s earliest appearance in the character of an author” [p. x. xi.], then adding in a note, “We take the date of ‘Greene’s Menaphon,’ 1587, from the edition of that author’s ‘Dramatic Works,’ by the Rev. A. Dyce.” Mr. Collier apparently had forgotten that he had himself stated some years before the fact of the Arcadia having been printed in 1587, “because in Greene’s _Euphues_, his _Censure to Philautus_, of the same date, it is mentioned as already in print.” [Hist. English Dramatic Poetry, vol. iii. p. 150.]

Whatever may be the date of the first edition of Greene’s Menaphon, we have here only to do with Nash’s Preface to that work, and, though Sir E. Brydges, in his reprint of it in 1814, mentions 1587, in which he is followed by the Rev. A. Dyce in 1831, [Greene’s Works, II. c. iii], by Mr. Collier above, in the same year, and again in 1842, all agreeing to fix the date of Nash’s Preface in 1587; yet there is, if I mistake not, internal evidence that it could not have been written before the date of the first known edition, which is in 1589.

Of the accuracy of the extraordinary facts which Nash relates in the Introduction to the Almond for a Parrot [pp. 5, 6], I had expected to find confirmation in some book of travels of the time, but in this have not succeeded.

Nash, in his Preface to Menaphon, addressed “To the Gentlemen Students of both Universities,” evidently referring to the Puritans, mentions, “the most poisonous Pasquils any dirty-mouthed _Martin_ or Momus ever composed;” of their “spitting _ergo_ in the mouth of every one they meet;” and, unless I am mistaken, the following refers to Penry: “But when the irregular idiot, that was up to the ears in divinity before ever he met with _probabile_ in the university, shall leave _pro et contra_ before he can scarcely pronounce it, and come to correct commonweals that never heard of the name of magistrate before he came to Cambridge, it is no marvel if every alehouse vaunt the table of the world turned upside down, since the child beateth his father, and the ass whippeth his master.” [Reprint of Menaphon, in Archaica, Pref. xiii., 4to, 1814.] The allusions in the whole sentence can only be explained by referring them to Martin Mar-Prelate’s “Epistle,” “Epitome,” &c., which were printed in 1588.

Secondly, Nash says, “It may be my _Anatomy of Absurdities_ may acquaint you _ere long_ with my skill in surgery.” Now, the Anatomy of Absurdities came out in 1589, and the expression “ere long” would scarcely apply had this been written in 1587.

Thirdly, he says, “If I please, I will think my ignorance indebted unto you that applaud it, if not, what rests but that I be excluded from your courtesy, like Apocrypha from your Bibles?”

This passage appears to refer to a fact which Martin Mar-Prelate states in his Epistle to the Terrible Priests. [Reprint, p. 4.] “The last lent [he is writing in 1588] there came a commaundement from his grace into Paules Church Yard, that no Byble should be bounde without the Apocripha.” Strype, in his Life of Archbishop Whitgift, admits the order, and takes some pains to justify the Archbishop in issuing it. [See Strype’s Whitgift, i. 590.—Cooper’s Admonition, 1589.]

The foregoing inferences, however, are confirmed by the fact that there is an allusion in this Preface to a work which did not appear until 1589. Nash, in giving the roll of English Worthies, introduces the following passage: “I will not say but we had a HADDON, whose pen would have challenged the laurel from Homer; together with CAR, that came as near him as Virgil to Theocritus. But THOMAS NEWTON, with his _Leiland_, and GABRIEL HARVEY, with two or three other, is almost all the store that is left us at this hour.” [Pref. to Menaphon, xviii.]

As Newton’s _Leiland_ is a work of unfrequent occurrence, I subjoin the title at length: “Principum, ac illustrium aliquot & eruditorum in Anglia virorum, Encomia, Trophæa, Genethliaca & Epithalamia. A Joanne Lelando Antiquario conscripta, nunc primùm in lucem edita. Quibus etiarn adiuncta sunt, Illustrissimorum aliquot Herôum, hodiè viventium, aliorúmq; hinc indè Anglorum, ENCOMIA et EVLOGIA: à Thoma Newtono Cestreshyrio, succisiuis horulis exarata. Londini, apud Thomam Orwinum, Typographum. 1589,” in 4to. This work may also contain internal evidence, in addition to the statement in the title-page, that it was first published in 1589. There is a poem at p. 122, “Ad Chr. Oclandum de Elizabetheide sua,” which may refer to the first part of Ocland’s Elizabetheis, which came out in 1582, but most probably refers to the second part, printed by Thomas Orwin, in 1589.

I should not have taken the trouble to investigate the contents of this Preface of Nash, “the firstlings of my folly,” as he calls it himself [p. xxi], with such minuteness, but that it establishes beyond question the fact that Nash commenced his literary career in 1589, and not, as is generally supposed, in 1587.

In the following Introduction, Nash says, “For comming from Venice the last summer, and taking Bergamo in my waye homeward to England.” Now as he afterwards alludes to the appearance of Martin Mar-prelate in England, and also to the defeat of the Spanish Armada, “neither Philip by his power,” this most probably was the latter part of the summer of 1588, and if he arrived in England towards the end of 1588, there would be both time and opportunity for him to write the various works, which, published in 1589, are attributed to him. There is every probability, therefore, that Nash did visit Italy, that he was there in 1588, and that, returning to England with his mind enlarged by travel, he commenced his short, but remarkable career in literature, which, after he had undergone the painful vicissitudes to which authors by profession have so often been subjected,

“Since none takes pitie of a scholler’s neede,”

was terminated by his death in 1601.

I shall not here enumerate the various works which Nash wrote, because an opportunity will offer, in the Introduction to one of his publications, to notice the whole of them.

Whatever was the origin of the long and bitter quarrel between Nash and Gabriel Harvey, from this passage in the Preface to Menaphon, 1589, “and Gabriel Harvey, with two or three other, is almost all the store that is left us at this hour,” we may reasonably infer that it was not in existence then. The origin, progress, and effect of this quarrel, which included Lyly, Greene, Nash, and the three Harveys, and the right understanding of which is necessary to elucidate the progress of the Martin Mar-Prelate Controversy, I hope to give in the Introduction to “Plaine Percevall the Peace-Maker of England,” a tract uniformly attributed to Nash; but which he, in one of his publications, not only utterly disclaims, but charges it upon one of his most hated antagonists.

The internal evidence in favour of Nash, as the author of the Almond for a Parrot, is very strong; and cannot but appear to any one who is conversant with his “Christ’s Tears over Jerusalem,” a work containing more remarkable passages than any publication of the time that has ever fallen in my way. The description of Penry, at p. 39, beginning, “Where, what his estimation was,” &c.; but more especially the paragraph at p. 21, beginning, “Talke as long as you will of the Ioyes of heaven,” &c., may be compared with several passages in “Christ’s Tears” wherein Nash describes the horrors endured by its inhabitants during the siege of Jerusalem.

With respect to the title “An Almond for a Parrat,” the meaning appears obvious; it is evidently a cant term, and like “A Sop to Cerberus,” means a stopper for the mouth. Mr. Halliwell, in his Dictionary of Archaic and Provincial Words, calls it “a kind of proverbial expression,” but does not attempt to trace its origin. It is used by Skelton [Works by Dyce, ii. 4], by Webster [Works, iii. 122], and by Middleton [Works, iii. 112].

The original, from which the present tract is reprinted, is a small 4to, printed in black letter, consisting altogether of 28 pages. The “Protestation” is referred to at p. 11, “Pap with a Hatchet,” at p. 12, and “Hay any worke for a Cooper,” at p. 15, by which it is certain that its publication was subsequent to them, and may perhaps be referred to the latter end of the year 1589.

J. P.

LONDON, _Nov. 28th, 1845_.

An Almond for a Parrat,
_Or_
Cutbert Curry-knaues
_Almes_.

Fit for the knaue Martin, and the
_rest of those impudent Beggers, that_
can not be content to stay their stomakes
with a Benefice, but they will needes
breake their fastes with
our Bishops.

_Rimarum sum plenus._

Therefore beware (gentle Reader) you
catch not the hicket with laughing.

Imprinted at a Place, not farre from a
Place, by the Assignes of Signior Some-body, and
are to be sold at his shoppe in Trouble-knaue
Street, at the signe of the
Standish.

TO THAT MOST

Comicall and conceited Caualeire

_Monsieur du Kempe, Iestmonger and_

Vice-gerent generall to the Ghost of Dicke Tarlton.

_His louing brother Cutbert Curry-knaue sendeth Greeting._

Brother Kempe, as many alhailes to thy person as there be haicocks in Iuly at Pancredge: So it is, that what for old acquaintance, and some other respectes of my pleasure, I haue thought good to offer here certaine spare stuffe to your protection, which if your sublimitie accept in good part, or vouchsafe to shadow with the curtaine of your countenance, I am yours till fatall destiny two yeares after doomes day. Many write bookes to knights and men of great place, and haue thankes, with promise of a further reward for their paines: others come of with a long Epistle to some rufling Courtier, that sweares swoundes and bloud as soone as euer their backe is turnd, a man can not goe in the streetes for these impudent beggers. To auoide therefore as well the worthlesse attendance on the one, as the vsuall scorne of the other, I haue made choise of thy amorous selfe to be the pleasant patron of my papers. If thou wilt not accept of it in regard of the enuy of some Citizens, that can not away with argument, Ile preferre it to the soule of Dick Tarlton, who I know will entertaine it with thankes, imitating herein that merry man Rablays, who dedicated most of his workes to the soule of the old Queene of Nauarre many yeares after her death, for that she was a maintainer of mirth in her life. Marry God send vs more of her making, and then some of vs should not liue so discontēted as we do: for now a dayes, a man can not haue a bout with a Balletter, or write _Midas habet aures asininas_ in great Romaine letters, but hee shall bee in daunger of a further displeasure. Well, come on it what will, Martin and I will allow of no such doinges, wee can cracke halfe a score blades in a backe-lane though a Constable come not to part vs. Neither must you thinke his worship is to pure to be such a swasher, for as Scipio was called Africanus, not for relieuing and restoring, but for subuerting and destroying of Africa: so he and his companions are called Puritans, not for aduancing or supporting of puritie, by their vnspotted integritie, but of their vndermining and supplanting it by their manifold heresies. And in deed therein he doth but apply himselfe to that hope which his holinesse the Pope and other confederate forriners, haue conceiued of his towardnesse. For comming from Venice the last Summer, and taking Bergamo in my waye homeward to England, it was my happe soiourning there some foure or fiue dayes, to light in felowship with that famous Francattip’ Harlicken, who perceiuing me to bee an English man by my habit and speech, asked me many particulars, of the order and maner of our playes, which he termed by the name of representations: amongst other talke he enquired of me if I knew any such Parabolano here in London, as Signior Chiarlatano Kempino. Very well (quoth I,) and haue beene oft in his company. He hearing me say so, began to embrace me a new, and offered me all the courtesie he colde for his sake, saying, although he knew him not, yet for the report he had hard of his pleasance, hee colde not but bee in loue with his perfections being absent. As we were thus discoursing, I hard such ringing of belles, such singing, such shouting, as though Rhodes had beene recouered, or the Turke quite driuen out of Christendome, therewithal I might behold an hundreth bonefiers together, tables spred in the open streetes, and banquets brought in of all handes. Demaunding the reason of him that was next me, he told the newes was there (thankes be to God,) that there was a famous Schismatike one Martin newe sprung vp in England, who by his bookes, libels, and writings, had brought that to passe, which neither the Pope by his Seminaries, Philip by his power, nor all the holy League by their vnderhand practises and policies could at any time effect: for wheras they liued at vnitie before, and might by no meanes be drawne vnto discord, hee hath inuented such quiddities to set them together by the eares, that now the temporaltie is readie to plucke out the throtes of the Cleargie, and subiects to withdraw their allegeance from their Souerayne: so that in short time, it is hoped they will bee vp in armes one against another, whiles we aduantaged by this domesticall enuy, may inuade them vnawares, when they shall not be able to resist. I, sory to heare of these triumphes, coulde not rest till I had related these tidinges to my countrimen. If thou hast them at the second hand, (fellow Kempe) impute it to the intercepting of my papers, that haue stayed for a good winde, euer since the beginning of winter. Now they are arriued, make much of them, and with the credit of thy clownery, protect thy Cutbert from Carpers.

_Thine in the way of brotherhood,
Cutbert Curry-knaue._

An Almond for a Parrat.

Welcome Mayster _Martin_ from the dead, and much good ioy may you haue of your stage-like resurrection. It was told me by the vndanted purseuants of your sonnes, and credibly beleeued in regard of your sinnes, that your grout-headed holinesse had turnd vppe your heeles like a tired iade in a medow, and snorted out your scornefull soule, like a mesled hogge on a mucke-hill, which had it not beene false as the deuill woulde haue it, that long tongd doctresse Dame _Law._ muste haue beene faint (in spite of insperation) to haue giuen ouer speaking in the congregation, and employ her Parrats tong in stead of a winde-clapper to scarre the crowes from thy carrion. But profound _Cliffe_ the ecclesiasticall cobler, interrupted from his morning exercise with this false alarum, broke vp his brotherly loue-meeting abruptly, when the spirite had but newly moued him, and betooke him to his solitary shoppe, abutting on the backe side of a bulke. Nor was his souterly sorrow so hippocritically ingratefull, but he determined in the aboundance of his teares, that made a ful tide in his blacking tubbe, to haue stitcht vp your traytourshippe a tumbe of vntand leather, wherein _tanquam culeolo insutus_, hee mought haue sought his fortune in the seas. But I know not how this parracides exequies were prorogd, in so much as a brother in Christ of his at Northampton, fetcht a more thriftier president of funeralls piping hot from the primitiue church, which including but a few words and those passing well expounded, kept his wainscot from waste, and his linnen from wearing, sufficeth he tombled his wife naked into the earth at high noone, without sheete or shroude to couer her shame, breathing ouer her in an audible voice: Naked came I out of my mothers wombe, and naked shall I returne againe. Tut, tut, a thousand of these pranks make no discord in my young maisters discipline, whose reformed fraternity, quoat Scripture so confidently, as if they had lately purchast a commission of _cum priuilegio ad interpretandum solum_, from Christ and his twelue Apostls. And in deede who knowes whether Maister _Martin_ being inspired, as earst one of his faction, who hearing the waites play vnder his window very early, insulted most impudently, that in the midst of his morning praiers, he was presented with the melody of Angels, so hee in like manner shoulde vaunt of some reuelation, wherein the full sinode of _Lucifers_ ministers angells assembled, did parlament all their enuy to the subuersion of our established ministry, and then comes forth some more subtile spirite of hipocrisie, which offers himself to be a false prophet in the mouths of our _Martinists_, to whom the whole sedition house of hel condiscending, break vp their sessions, and send this seducer into the world, where finding no such mutinous seate, as the heart of our seconde _Pilate Marprelate_, he chose it in steade of a worser, to bee vnto England as _Zidkiah_ son of _Chenaanah_ was vnto _Ahab_. Beare with me good Maister Pistle-monger, if in comparing thy knauery, my full points seeme as tedious to thy puritane perusers, as the Northren mans mile, and a waybitte to the weary passenger, for I tell thee troth, till I see what market commission thou hast to assiste any mans sentences, I will neuer subscribe to thy periode prescisme. And hearest thou old _Martin_, did all thy libells iointly shroude so much substance of diuinity in their outlandish letters, as that one periode of vniformity in T. C. directing to obedience, I would thinke God had bin mercifull to thee in inspiring thy soule with some one separate motion, from reprobation, but when whole reames of paper are blotted with thy huperbolical blasphemies and religious matters of controversy more then massacred by thy prophane scurrility, I cā but suppose thy hart yᵗ house swept and garnished, into the which the foule spirit returned with other 7. spirits worse then himself. Malicious hipocryt, didst thou so much malign the successeful thriuings of the Gospell, that thou shouldst filch thy selfe, as a new disease into our gouernement? wert thou the last instrument of Sathans enuy, that as the abhortiue childe of a _Chaos_ of heresies, thou sholdst adorne thy false dealing with the induments of discipline? Me thinks I see thee smile from vnder thy double-fact hood, to thinke howe craftily thou hast crept into mens cōsciences: but wouldst thou obserue, how if thy alarums haue prosperd in our peaceable ears, that make no more breach into our state, then the iron hornes of those hony tōgd prophets into the arraies of the _Aramites_, Chro. 2. and tenth Chap. thou wouldest with _Achitophell_ return to thy house (at least if thou hast any) and hang thy selfe in a melancholie, for that thy counsaile was turned to follye. When I first saw thy books, I ascribed thy impudence to the _Calabrian_ wonders of 88. but when 89. beheld thee in a new sute, I imagined the excesse of our sins, sent thee forth to geue railing sentence against vs, as _Simei_ against _Dauid_ in the 2. of Kings. Yet seely sophister wouldest thou return the sobrietie of thy morning wittes to this ouerworne Simile, that the rodde which was made to correct _post destinatum finem_, is cast into the fire, thy despaire would deeme euery darke hole, the entraunce into hell, thy soule being the cittie, whereof the deuill is made free by endenture. And be it true which pittying report hath auouched, _Herostratus_ desire to be famous, made thee to seale him a conueiance of it many yeares since, so that now thy notorious pamphlets hauing passed the Presse, it is to be feared he will come ouer thee for couenantes ere many yeares to an end. It may bee thou hast redde _Foxes_ Monuments more idlely, where lighting on the example of Luther, that by his praiers importunitie, made the deuil to deliuer vp the obligation of his dānation, that sold the ioies of Heauē, for the inheritance of earth, thou hopest in like manner in the age of thine iniquities to bee restored to eternity, by the vncessant inuocation of the Church which thou termest Antichristian. Deceiue not thy selfe thou man of security, for the enemy of _Adam_ is no poeticall _Argus_, that his eies should be put out by thy arguments. I tell thee troth, he wil be-pistle thee so peuishly, with allegations of vnuenidall sinnes, as though hee were borne within two houses of Battle bridge. It is not thy despairing protestations, can make thy peace with God, whose church thou hast sought to deuide, as did _Herods_ souldiers his garmentes: wele geue thee leaue to tell vs a smooth tale of the intercepting of thy treasons, and curry fauour like a crafty foxe, with the ciuill magistrate in politique termes of feare and reuerence, but thy heart is no more disguised in this hypocriticall apparel, then a trenchour _Aristippus_ in the coate of a Parasite. Why discourse I so soberly, with the mortal enemy of modesty, when as the filth of the stewes, distild into ribauldry termes, cannot confectionate a more intemperate stile then his Pamphlets. Thou calst our Bishops wicked by comparison, whereas (wert thou strooken as thou protests with the vntoward euents of thy villanies) thou shouldst find the defilings of the 7. deadly sins, to haue broght thee by a pleasant pollution, within the possitiue degree of damnation. What talk I to him, of hel or damnation, whom _Lucifer_ hath furnisht to infection, with the painted poison of snout-holy deuotion, and all the powers of darknesse, haue adorned as an intelligencer to their kingdome, of the infirmities in our flourishing Church of England. To this purpose haue they inspired him with a most scurrile spirite of lying, that when his eagle-sighted enuy can truely atract no argument of infamy, his _poetica licentia_, may haue a fresh supply of possibilities, that encrease by cōtinuance to a compleat libell of leasings. All you that be schollers, read but his last challenge, wherein he laies about him so lamely, as though of his limping brother _Pag._ hee had lately learned to play at cudgels. But how euer his crazed cause goes on crutches, that was earst so brauely encountered by _Pasquin_ and _Marphoreus_, and not many moneths since most wittily scofte at by the extemporall endeuour of the pleasant author of Pap with a hatchet: yet is not the good olde creeple vtterly discouraged, or driuen cleane from his dounghill, but he meanes to make the persecuted Coblers once more merrie. Yet by your leaue his other dayes daunger is not so fully disgested, that he shuld forget the sanctified martyrs his brethren, those runagate Printers, to whose reuenge he bequeatheth a large Pistle of rayling Epithites, and mistearmeth our Bishoppes authoritie, with a whole _Textor_ of tyrannie. A few of whose milder tearms are of this making, wicked Priests, presumptuous Priests, proude Prelates, arrogant Bishops, horseleeches, butchers, persecutors of the truth, Lamhethical whelps, Spanish Inquisitours. Thinke you this myrie mouthed mate, a partaker of heauenly inspiration, that thus aboundes in his vncharitable railings: yet are these nothing in comparison of his auncient burlibond adiunctes, that so pester his former edition with their vnweldie phrase, as no true syllogisme can haue elbowe roome where they are. In which Alphabet these that followe may bee placed: bounsing Priests, terrible Priests, venerable Maisters, proud and pontificall Patripolitians. Gentle reader, I giue you but a tast of them by the waie, that you may knowe them the next time you meete them in your dish, and learne to discerne a poysonous scorpion from wholesome fish. _Martin_ you must thinke, was moude, when his gun-pouder papers were fired aboute his eares, and the spendthriftes his Printers, haled to the prison their patrimonies. Wherefore I cannot blame him though he sends abroade his Letters of supplication, in behalfe of his seruants that did but his bidding. The Church, the Church is persecuted amongst you my maisters, and _Martin_ gettes nere a superintendentship by the shift, but let not _Meg Law._ crie once more to the Churchwardens for her foode, least shee bring with her a campe royall of scoldes, to scratch out your eyes. Oh she will declaime brauely ouer a Cuckstoole, and plaie the gyant in a narrowe lane with her distaffe. Maister _Cooper_ shall haue his stipend still at Paules chaine, or else shee will sweat for it. I lyke such a wench that will stande to her tackling, why Bishoppes are but men, and she will carrie a _Martin_ in her plackarde in despite of the proudest of them all. Learne of her you London Matrones, to make hodie-peeles of your husbandes, and leade them like good soules up and downe the streetes by the hornes, let it be seene by your courages in scolding, that women haue soules, which a balde eloquent brother of yours, denide not long since in his Sermon at Lichfielde. I, I, my maisters, you may mocke, on as you see cause, but I warrant you the good olde true-pennie _Marprelate_ is not so merrie, hee sits ruminating under an oake, or in the bottome of a haystacke, whose bloud shall be first spilte in the reformation of the Church. And not without cause, for hee that hath so lately felte the paine of worming and launcing, cannot but stande in awe of _Buls_ slicing tooles one two moneths after. O it is a hairebrande whooresonne, and well seene in Phlebotomie, if a but once take knife in hande, cha will as soone let out the seditious humours forth a Martinistes bodie, as the best he in England, that hath bin twentie yeeres practioners in Surgerie. Good munckie face Machiuell, shew but thy head once, and trie him at my request, and if he doe it not more handsomely, then those whom thou callest Butchers and Horseleeches, then neuer trust an olde ladde whilest thou liuest. How euer it happens, thou bearest thy resolution in thy mouth at highe midnight, and hast Scripture enough to carrie thee to heauen, though thou wert hangde to morrowe. We feare not men that can kill the bodie, quoth _Martin_, because we feare God, who can cast both bodie and soule into vnquenchable fire. Doest thou feare God in deede, I praie thee good hedge-creeper how shall we knowe that? What, by the smoothing of thy face, the simpering of thy mouth, or staring of thy eies? Why if that be to feare God, Ile haue a spare fellowe shall make mee a whole quest of faces for three farthinges. But thou wilt peraduenture saie, by thy obedience vnto him. Then will I catechise thee more kindly with a fewe more Christian questions: the first whereof shall be this, wherein thou placest obedience, which if thou aunswerest, by doing that which God hath commaunded in his worde: then would I knowe of thee, whether that of Paul be Canonicall or Apocripha, He that resisteth the magistrate, resisteth the ordinaunce of God. And here I am sure to be had by the eares with a Geneua note of the distinction of magistrates, but all that shall not serue your turnes, for Ile driue you from your _Dic Ecclesiæ_ ere I have done, ware the vnmasking of _Martin_, when it comes tis lyke to bee a shrewde Pistle, I can tell you. Prepare your argumentes as you will, for _Mar-Martin Iunior_, meanes to make such hauocke of you in that his next peece of seruice, as all your borrowed weapons of simple T. C. shall not bee able to withstande. For your olde soaking Demonstrationer, that hath scrapte vp such a deale of Scripture to so lyttle purpose, Ile leaue his confusion to the vacaunt leasure of our grauer Diuines, who I knowe, did they but once sette penne to paper, woulde grinde his discipline to powder. Thou art the man, olde _Martin_ of Englande, that I am to deale withall, that striues to outstrip all our writers in witte, and iustle our gouernement forth of doores with a iest. What, wee must not let you passe with such fauourable tearmes, as our graue Fathers haue done, your Bookes must bee lookt ouer, and you beaten lyke a dogge for your lying. I thinke, I thinke I shall haue occasion to close with you sweetlie in your Hay anie worke for a Cooper, and cutte off the traynes of your tedious syllogismes, that nowe haue no lesse then seauen or eight Termini waiting on them. Fortifie your ruinous buildinges betimes, and saie hee was your friende that badde you: for I can tell you thus much, a whole hoast of _Pasquils_ are comming vppon you, who will so beleaguer your paper walles, as that not one idle worde shall escape the edge of their wit. I giue thee but a brauado now, to let thee knowe I am thine enemie, but the next time you see _Mar-Martine_ in armes, bidde your sonnes and your familie prouide them to God-warde, for I am eagerly bent to revenge, and not one of them shall escape, no not T. C. himselfe as full as he is of his myracles. But to pursue maister Protestationer in his common place of persecution. I remember we talkt euen now of a dudgen destinction from which my Bedlam brother _Wig._ and poltfoote _Pag._ with the rest of those patches, striue to deriue theyr discipline disobedience. Our Ecclesiasticall gouernment and gouernours say they, are wicked and vnlawfull. Why? because Sir _Peter_ nor Sir _Paul_ were neuer Archbishoppes of Canterbury, London, or Yorke. They were Fisher-men, and were not able. When _Cæsars_ Officers demaunded their tribute to make fiue groates amongst them, then what reason is it our Bishoppes should inioy their five hundreds, nay, that which is more, their thousand and two thousands? They were none of these Cartercaps, Graduates nor Doctors, therfore why should we tie our Ministrie to the prophane studies of the Vniuersitie. What is Logicke but the highe waie to wrangling, contayning in it a world of bibble babble. Neede we anie of your Greeke, Latine, Hebrue, or anie such gibbrige, when wee haue the word of God in English? Go to, go to, you are a great company of vaine men, that stand vpon your degrees and tongues, with tittle tattle, I cannot tell what, when as (if you looke into the matter as you ought) the Apostles knew neare a Letter of the booke. I wis it were not two pins hurt, if your Colledges wer fired ouer your heades, and you turnde a begging forth your fellowshippes, like Fryers and Monkes vp and downe the Countrie. I marie sir, this is somewhat like, now _Martin_ speakes like himselfe, I dare saie for him good man, he could be contented there were nere a maister of Art, Bachelour of Diuinitie, Doctor or Bishop in England, on that condition he prest Fishermen, scullers, Coopers, Stitchers, Weauers and Coblers into theyr places. You talke of a Harmonie of the Churches, but heere would be a consort of knauerie worth the publishing to all posteritie. Would you not laugh to see _Cli._ the Cobler, and _New._ the souter, ierking out theyr elbowes in euerie Pulpit. Why, I am sure Ladie _Law._ would fast mans flesh a whole moneth together, but shee woulde giue either of them a gowne cloth on that condition. My self doe knowe a zealous Preacher in Ipswich, that beeing but a while a goe a stage player, will now take vpon him to brandish a Text agaynst Bishoppes, as well as the best Martinist in all Suffolke. Why, I praie you goe no farther then Batter, haue wee not there a reuerent Pastour of _Martines_ owne making, that vnderstands not a bit of Latine, nor neuer dyd so much as looke towards the Vniuersitie in his life, yet you see for a neede he can helpe discipline out of the durt, and come ouer our Cleargie verie handsomely with an heere is to bee noted. Oh he is olde dogge at expounding, and deade sure at a Catechisme, alwayes prouided, that it bee but halfe a sheete long, and he be two yeeres about it. And well too my maisters, for such a one that vauntes himselfe to bee as hee is, as good a Gentleman euerie inch of him, as anie is in all Stafford sheere. Bee what he will, one thing I wote, hee is seldome without a good Cheese in his studie, besides apples and nuttes, although his wife can neuer come at them. I hearde not long since of a stoute conference hee had with a yong scholer, who taking my Deske-man somewhat tardie in his disputations, told him hee was inspired with too much Logique. Where vnto hee replyed with this solempne protestatiō, I thank God, al the world cannot accuse me of that arte. I hope anon maister _Martin_, I shall bee meetelie euen with you for your knauerie, if I goe but two mile further in your Ministrie. It is not the Primitiue Church shall beare out the Vicar of little _Down._ in Norfolke, in groaping his owne hennes, like a Cotqueane, I am to come ouer him when I have more leasure, for his tenne shillings Sermons at Thetforde: wherein if he raue as hee was wont to doe, Ile make him wishe that hee had been still Vsher of Westminister. Well, to the purpose. You saie Bishoppes are no Magistrates, because they are no lawfull Magistrates. Is it euen so brother _Timothie_, will it neuer be better, must I euer leade you vp and downe antiquitie by the nose lyke an Asse. May neither Scriptures nor Fathers goe for paiment with you, but still you will bee reducing vs to the president of the persecuted Church, and so confounde the discipline of warre and peace? If you will needes make vs the apes of all their extremities, why doe not you vrge the vse of that communitie wherein _Ananias_ and _Saphira_ were vnfaythfull. Perswade Noble men and Gentlemen to sell theyr landes, and laie the money at your feete, take awaie the title of mine and thine from amongst vs, and let the worlde knowe you heereafter by the name of Anabaptistes. Admit that the authoritie of Bishoppes were as vnlawfull as you woulde make it, yet since it is imposed vnto them by the Princes owne mouth, and ratified by the approbation of so many Kings and Emperours, as well in their particular Parliamentes as generall counsayles, you are bounde in conscience to reuerence it, and in all humilitie to regarde it, insomuch as Christ denide not tribute to _Cæsar_ an vsurper, nor appealde from _Pilate_ a Pagan, who occupied that place by the intrusion of tyrannie. Were the Israelites in captiuitie, anie whit exempted from the obedience of subiectes, in that they liued vnder the scepter of _Nabuchodonesor_ an Idolater, who had blasphemed their God, defaced their Temple, and defiled their holie vesselles. Nay, are they not expresslie commaunded by the Lordes owne mouth, to honour him as their King: Howe can they then escape the dampnation of contempte, that beeing priuate subiectes to such a vertuous Soueraigne, as is zealous of Gods glorie will controll her, disposing of honours, and oppose vnto publique derision, those the especiall pillers and ornamentes of her state, whome shee hath graced from their infancie, with so many sundrie ascentes of dignities. But were this all, then shoulde not treason bee such a braunche of your religion as it is. Haue not you and your followers vndermined her Graces Throane, as much as traytours might: call to minde the badde practise of your brother the Booke-binder and his accomplishes at Burie, who beeing as hotte spirited as your worshippes, in the schismaticall subiect of reformation, and seeing it woulde not come of halfe kindlie to theyr contentment, made no more a doe, but added this newe Posie to her Maiesties armes. Those that bee neither hotte nor colde, Ile spue them out of my mouth, sayth the Lorde. Denie this, and Ile bring a whole Assizes, as _Obsignatos testes_ of your trecherie. To come neerer to thee Brother _Martin_. Hast not thou in thy firste booke agaynst Doctour _Bridges_, as also in Hay anie worke for Cooper, excluded her Highnesse from all Ecclesiasticall gouernement, saying she hath neyther skill nor commission, as shee is a Magistrate, to substitute anie member or minister in the Church. And in an other place, that there is neither vse nor place in the Church for members, ministers or officers of the magistrates making. If this wyll not come in compasse of treason, then farewell the title of Supremacie, and welcome agayne vnto Poperie. By this time I thinke, good-man Puritan, that thou art perswaded, that I knowe as well as thy owne conscience thee, namely _Martin Makebate_ of Englande, to bee a moste scuruie and beggerlie benefactor to obedience, and _per consequens_, to feare neyther men, nor that God who can cast both bodie and soule into vnquenchable fire. In which respect I neyther account you of the Churche, nor esteeme of your bloude, otherwise then the bloude of Infidelles. Talke as long as you will of the ioyes of heauen, or paines of hell, and turne from your selues the terrour of that iudgement howe you will, which shall bereaue blushing iniquitie of the figge leaues of hypocrisie, yet will the eie of immortalitie discerne of your painted pollutions, as the euer-liuing foode of perdition. The humours of my eies are the habitations of fountaines, and the circumference of my heart the enclosure of fearefull contrition, when I thinke howe many soules at that moment, shall carrie the name of _Martine_ on their foreheads to the vale of confusion, in whose innocent bloude thou swimming to hell, shalt haue the tormentes of tenne thousande thousande sinners at once, inflicted vppon thee. There will enuie, mallice and dissimulation bee euer calling for vengeance agaynst thee, and incite whole legions of deuilles to thy deathlesse lamentation. Mercie will saie vnto thee, I knowe thee not, and Repentaunce, what have I to doe with thee. All hopes shall shake the head at thee, and saie, there goes the poyson of puritie, the perfection of impietie, the serpentine seducer of simplicitie. Zeale her selfe will crie out vppon thee, and curse the time that euer shee was maskte by thy mallice, who lyke a blinde leader of the blinde, sufferedst her to stumble at euerie steppe in Religion, and madest her seeke in the dimnesse of her sight, to murther her mother the Churche, from whose pappes thou lyke an enuious dogge but yesterdaie pluckest her. Howe euer proude scorner, thy whoorishe impudencie, may happen heereafter to insiste in the derision of these fearfull denuntiations, and sporte thy iesters penne at the speach of my soule, yet take heede least despayre bee predominant in the daie of thy death, and thou in steade of calling for mercie to thy Iesus, repeate more oftner to thy selfe, _Sic morior damnatus vt Iudas_! And thus much _Martin_, in the way of compassion, haue I spoke for thy edification, moued therto by a brotherly commiseration, which if thou bee not too desperate in thy deuilish attempts, may reform thy heart to remorse, and thy pamphletes to some more profitable theame of repentance. But now haue at thee for the goodnesse of the cause, of which thou saist: We must not reason from the successe.

Trust me therein thou hast spoke wiser then thou art aware of, for if a man should imagine of fruite by the rottennesse, of garmentes by the moath frets, of wine by the sowrnesse, I warrant him for euer being good costerd-monger, broker, or vintner whiles he liues. Therefore we must not measure of _Martin_ as he is allied to _Elderton_, or tongd like _Will Tong_, as he was attired like an Ape on yᵉ stage, or sits writing of Pāphlets, in some spare out-house, but as is _Mar-Prelat_ of England as he surpasseth King and collier, in crying, So ho ho, brother _Bridges_. Wo ho ho, _Iohn_ a London. Ha ha he, Doctor _Copecotes_. Doe this and I warrant you, for sauoring of the fleshe, though you take the oportunity of the spirite, with euery sister in Christ. Beholde the state of the low Countryes, since your Plaintife Pistler, will needs make the comparison, suppose _Martin_ to be the map of _Belgia dilacerata_, whose chiefe prouinces as they are wholye possessed with Spaniards, so thinke his hart and soule enhabited with spiet, they Romists in the matter of Religion, and he a Papist in supremacies contradiction, her inward partes possessed with Anabaptists, and Lutherans, and his more priuate opinions polluted with the dregs of them both, her farthest borders of Holland and Zeland, peopled God wot with a small number of vnperfite Protestants, and the furthest and fewest of his thoughts, taken vppe with some odde true points of Religion. How now Father _Martin_, haue not I hit your meaning patte in this comparison. Say, wil you haue any more such interpretations, if you say _Amen_ to it. Ile also reconcile your allegoricall induction of France, to the present constitutiō of your frowardnes: but that shal not neede, since the misery of the one is the mirrour of the other, and the Reader must suppose that _Martin_ would neare haue compared himselfe to Flaunders nor France, but as they reflect by allusion the distraction of his factions faith. Howe euer you take him at the worst, yet is his welchnes perswaded, that the Lord hath some speciell purpose, by preuentinge of his presse, to try who they be that are hipocrites, and what they be yᵗ are innocent: And not vnlike too, for hauing interrupted the trafique of honestye, so long as thou hast with thy coūterfet knauery, tis more the hie time thy vnder-hād treachery, were broght to the touchstone of authority. You think we know not how pretily your Printers were shrouded vnder the name of salt-peter-men, so that who but _Hodgkins_, _Tomlins_ and _Sims_, at the vndermining of a house, and vndoing of poore men, by diggyng vp their floars, and breaking down their wals. No, no, we neuer heard how orderly they pretended the printing of Accidences, when my L. of _Darbies_ men came to see what they were a doing, what though they damned themselues about the deniall of the deede, is periury such a matter amongst puritans. Tush they account it no sin as long as it is in the way of protestation, being in the mind of a good old fellow in Cambridge, who sitting in S. _Iohns_ as Senior at the fellowes election, was reprehended by some of his betters, for that hee gaue his voice with a dunce like himself, contrary to oath, statue and conscience: why quoth hee, I neither respect oath, statue, nor conscience, but only the glory of God. Men are by men and may erre, yea goodman _Spe._ himselfe in Paules church-yard, although he saith he hath no sinne, what maruaile is it then, though some corruption cleaue vnto our aged Gentleman by his owne confession. Learne of me to iudge charitably, and thinke that nature tooke a scouring purgation, when she voided all her imperfections in the birth of one _Martin_: which if it be so, hee is not to be blamed, since as _Arist._ sayes, _vitia naturæ nō sunt reprehendenda_. Gibe on, gibe on, and see if your father _Mar-martin_ will beare you out in it or no, you thinke the good sweet-faced prelate, _Masse Martin_, hath neuer broke sword in ruffians hal, yes that he hath more then one or two, if the truth were known, and fought for his wench as brauely as the best of them all, therefore take heede how you come in his way, least hee belabour you with his crabtree stile for your lustines, and teache you howe to looke into a _Martins_ neaste againe while you live. Alas you are but young, and neuer knewe what his Bumfeging ment, for if you did, you woulde thinke fiue hundreth fistes about your eares, were more then Phisicke in a frosty morning. Write or fight which you will, our champion is for you at all weapones, whether you choose the worde or the sworde, neither comes amisse to him, he neuer took his domesticall dissention in hand to leaue it soone. All England must bee vp together by the eares, before his penne rest in peace, nor shall his rebellious mutinies, which he shrouds vnder the age of _Martinisme_, haue any _intermedium_, till religions prosperity and our Christian libertye, mis-termed of him by the last yeare of Lambethisme, doe perishe from amongst vs, and depart to our enemies: then shall you see, what seditious buildinges will arise on the vnfortunate foundations of his folly, and what contentious increase will come from the schoole of contempt.

_If they will needes ouerthrowe mee let them goe in hand with the exploite &c._